Are You an Echoist?

Are you An Echoist?
Take the test to find out! www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narc...
Recently, I've been inundated with requests from journalists to discuss "echoism," a term I introduced in my book, Rethinking Narcissism. Articles on the subject are trending, and a new book, Echoism, even devotes itself to understanding the topic in depth. Echoism support groups, therapists, and workshops are springing up, and demand for information appears to be growing. But what does the word mean?
I've compiled my answers to nine of the most frequently asked questions about echoism.
1. What is echoism? Echoism is a trait that my colleagues and I have begun measuring, and like all traits, it exists to a greater or lesser degree in everyone. People who score well above average in echoism qualify as echoists, and their defining characteristic is a fear of seeming narcissistic in any way. Of all the people we measured, echoists were the most “warm-hearted,” but they were also afraid of becoming a burden, felt unsettled by attention, especially praise, and agreed with statements like, “When people ask me my preferences, I’m often at a loss.” Where narcissists are addicted to feeling special, echoists are afraid of it. In the myth of Narcissus, Echo, the nymph who eventually falls madly in love with Narcissus, has been cursed to repeat back the last few words she hears. Like their namesake, echoists definitely struggle to have a voice of their own.
2. Can echoism exist without narcissism? Regardless of how it begins - and there are many childhood causes - echoism, like any trait, persists regardless of whom people spend their time with. Still, echoists are often drawn to narcissists precisely because they’re so afraid of burdening others or seeming “needy” that to have someone who relishes taking up all the room, as narcissists often do, comes as something of a relief; but it's a high price to pay for a respite from their anxieties. When narcissists become abusive, echoists sometimes blame themselves for their mistreatment (“I expect too much"; "I’m being overly sensitive"; "I shouldn't have gone back"; etc.). No one deserves to be abused, whether they stay in a relationship or not - abuse is 100 percent the responsibility of the abuser - but echoists can mire themselves in abusive relationships, because they feel responsible for their mistreatment.
3. Are some people more apt to become extreme echoists? Echoists appear to be born with more emotional sensitivity than most of us - they feel deeply - and when that temperament is exposed to a parent who shames or punishes them for having any needs at all, they’re apt to grow up high in echoism. A client of mine had a narcissistic father who grew enraged whenever people didn’t do exactly what he wanted - a misplaced dish was enough to set him off - and as a result of his lessons (my way or the highway), she wasn’t just afraid to say what she needed or wanted. She didn’t even know what that was. This is typical with extreme echoists - they’re so afraid expressing their needs will cost them love that they lose touch with their own desires.
continue with article www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
For more on echoism, see:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
blogs.psychcentral.com/knotte...
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/...
AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/...
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethi...
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresu...
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/97800...
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethi...
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/product...
www.drcraigmalkin.com

[@NarcissistFreealmost]

Echoism is a brilliant concept that ties up a lot of loose ends when trying to understand narcissism.

[@martefact]

You my man are a genius. You have just described the 5 decades of my life - at a time where I am awakening fully to my own condition of Echoism - yet without the term to describe. Thank you for your amazing work!

[@A_Black_Sheep94]

Same but 3 decades for me

[@sirensexy27]

"the world doesn't revolve around you" my mother's favorite saying along with "I'm not going to hold your hand". Or my favorite "respect your elders".

[@grizzlybear4]

Ick. Same here.

[@KhemistrySet]

Yeap. Mine too.

[@natashamann-harwood801]

My mum said the same thing, and so did my ex.

[@lemsip207]

Always said by those who think and expect the world to revolve around them.

[@laurenbatson5918]

@@lemsip207 not everyone. I heard this growing up at appropriate times, when I needed to realize that "not everything is about you" (or in this case, "me"). I've said it to my (probably covert narcissist) husband over the last couple of years. At moments when he isn't willing/able to think about anyone else. Or when he assumes something unrelated to him is secretly about him. He NEVER heard it as a child. And it shows!

[@livdamnit6998]

Wow that is me. My mother was a narcissist and I'm very emphatic. It's taken me a lot of years but finally in my middle aged I'm starting to voice my own needs.

[@boogalooshrimp5774]

00

[@patriciasookwa-agard2098]

Amazing, you've absolutely got this.

[@HoneyDrops2023]

When I was a little girl, I recall pushing another girl on a swing ( I was about 5). I had a lot of fun hearing her giggle and enjoy herself. At one point, I pushed too high, her foot caught on the ground and she fell out the swing. She began to cry and said she would tell the teacher on me. I began to cry too, not because she was going to tell, but because I had hurt someone when I did not mean to. This feeling of hurting when others hurt evolved into hating to say no, and giving till it cost me dearly. I had a narcissistic dad and a paranoid schizophrenic mother, both of whom had little time for my sister and me. I began to care for and shield my younger sister, who also became narcissistic over time. Still, I felt I had to protect her from a lot of the stuff going on in the household. This pattern repeated into adulthood, and now, I am currently in a marriage with a man who displays some narcissistic tendencies. I have found my voice, however, with music, art, even taking selfies believe it or not! The latter feels like a way of saying "I am here, and I matter" so to speak. Now I am trying to figure out a way to leave where no one is hurt, which of course, leaves me stuck here. I don't want to hurt my hubby even though he has hurt me. Not sure how to break the cycle.

[@stephy_d814]

thank God for these videos from you and a select few others here online.... cuz I would probably be dead without this information from ya'll. honest to god, I believe knowledge is power... and me educating myself thru yours and people like you who make these videos... have seriously saved my life.... thank you for empowering me, or helping me empower myself really. I'm trying. thank you.

[@rachelsimbhu4383]

Straight facts !! I luv him & a few others who talk abt narcissism ! Spot on 4 this Dr . !!!

[@mariepresho3653]

Omg... lol..that's what's wrong with me. I never have heard of this. Explains everything.

[@katievictoriabrown]

I find this man very caring and understanding. The fact that he grew up caring for his mother says a lot. I feel that I have been very like this man. I have spent a lot of my life caring for my mother, as she suffers with her mental health. My mum used to be narcissistic. I have spent much of my life being loving to my mother and that has helped her. As long as she takes medication, there is very little narcissism there. I forgive my mum for all her mistakes. I love her and tell her that I love her everyday. Whenever I see her, we always hug and we tell each other that we love each other. I know that I won’t have any regrets when it’s her time to go to heaven in the future, because I always forgave her for the mistakes she made as a parent. At the end of the day, she had a childhood with no love. She told me recently, she didn’t know what love was. Poor thing. We hold each other and look in to each other’s eyes, and smile! Precious moments. When it’s my mums ‘time’ one day, I know that I will probably be tearing up thinking about these precious moments. Parents are precious, even if they have made mistakes, and many mistakes. Acknowledge, that deep down, you love your parent. It will set you free - for anyone who has any bitterness towards their parents. I can tell you, my mum made some really poor decisions, that affected mine and my sisters lives. But I am stronger, my my love is very strong, and my mum is one of the closest people to me in my life! I always have the gift of love to give to my mum! I let it flow freely from my heart to her! I know others who have forgiven their mums too.

[@tmo.48]

Almost same as you, and let me tell ya, I thank GOD that HE gave me a tender heart towards my parents. Yes we've had our screaming matches and such but I was always returning to them. They both now have passed. I finally have gotten through it all, still learning, healing and growing.

[@bernadettebates]

thanks Craig. I think my mom had narc tendencies and I learned to not express my needs/dissapointments. She was the focus of the family so I have learned to always focus on the needs of others. Married someone who wanted me to totally fullfill their needs and have none of my own. Had partner who exploded with rage at any sign of critisism and now I (aged 61) am withdrawing from a 30yr 'friendship' with a narcissist...it's painful and Im trying not to feel like I've been played for a fool. They are sickly sweet charmers who only really care about making sure they look good (community narc) while getting everyone to supply them with no empathy and no self awareness....I'm determined to have healthy relationships now...to the best of my ability...what a hard learning journey

[@angelinasouren]

Hi Bernadette. (( hug)) I too am ending a friendship of decades that started out well enough but turned so sour after her partner left. If you look inside you, you will likely find that your core is still whole and perfectly fine, and the sense of betrayal and having been played for a fool will disappear. Also, there probably were good things in that friendship too and it may help to keep them in mind.

[@mizread]

I've been there too and agree that it's a very hard learning journey, but we are fortunate to be strong to have made it thus far. We are now better equipped to recognise a potentially abusive new pal very early on, even on a first meeting.

[@Hermanus-lj9fk]

Thank you for clarifying this so clearly. It really helps. Have been terrified I was a narcissist for a long time. About to have a serious operation made me realise I'm surrounded by narcs & narc behaviour. You realise who your true friends are...sadly most don't want to know you anymore & disappear. Thanks again. Xx

[@CraigMalkin]

so glad you found it helpful!

[@angelinasouren]

Hermanus, true friends who don't want to know you anymore & disappear because you have narcs in your life probably aren't true friends either? (Except if they do it to protect their own family, perhaps.) One thing I've learned in my life is that true friendship is very rare.

[@silentgrove7670]

Similar experiences. I am still overly vigilant about anyone in my life and watch for signs a lot. It can lead to rumination over small things at times thinking they are a red flags. I have lost many friends starting in 2012 though that was prior to the narc encounter.

[@marinvidovic763]

@@angelinasouren indeed... If you want to know real Friends: * try to fall from power, * try to lose job, career, money, possessions, * try to get seriously sick... ... ...

[@angelinasouren]

@@marinvidovic763 True, and something similar goes for being successful. Some people don't like it when you're doing very well because that too can confront them with their own insecurities. Some people will always cheer you on and support you no matter what - with honesty, I mean - and some feel that when you've lost your job or whatever, it is the time to chew you out and let you know how flawed they've always thought you are, lol, or they treat you like you've suddenly turned into a 7-year-old child. You're the exact same person, but you've lost your job. It seems to be mostly financial losses that do that. And yes, a lot of people don't like being ill people because they are considered less "fun". (Same with not having money, not being able to go out etc. or working just about non-stop.)

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

Upon some reflection I can see the development of “echoism” can be a tool to aid in correcting misdiagnosis such as BPD, and Borderline. Thank you for your work. As a person who sought help before this was trendy, I lost a lot of faith in “help”.

[@lorraine8962]

Wow, thanks for that explanation. Boundaries were the first step in coming out of my fear-driven echoism. And saying No to abusive behavior.

[@silentgrove7670]

I am learning to say goodbye to friends that put little effort into the friendship.

[@lauralee4225]

My name is Echo. I'm not really sure what is my real voice. I've been told so often not to talk about me it's rude or that I'm self centered for wanting to talk about me that I don't ever speak my thoughts.

[@aav_n]

Laura Lee tune our instruments of heart and mind into love. Trust it like the parent we were born to become. To listen, to accept, love and nurture the needs and feelings of ours whealth-fully and those of others.. Balance out the bad tones.. Knowing all these were consequences of disconnection.. But we can learn and develop healthy connections

[@aav_n]

They say We need to ensure there is a strong underlying dialogue that is protecting supportive and on our side

[@aav_n]

I'm iko echo is visszhang in my tongue so is my initial.. I am determined all these have a great use and purpose and we can lean breathe and feel into becoming it.. Radiating singing it.. If you want to take away a child's attention from something unwanted then you show them something else taking their attention away.. Accept.. Sooth.. Release.. Bring love bring peace

[@raccuia1]

Laura Lee, well you tell them right on back to mind their own business. What comes out of your mouth is for you to decide, not them. If they don't like it then they can just get the hell lost.

[@cianparker]

I feel you. I don’t know if you can relate but I also feel like a chameleon. In that having free thought that goes against majority is just too painful to even continue the thought and I mold into the voices I am surrounded by.

[@KN-os1pv]

I've had the exact same experience with my mother. I was the only one who took care of her needs. When she was lying in bed I wrote stories, imitated family members in a funny way, played music etc. to entertain her and try to make her happy. I remember sitting at the window when she fell asleep feeling so endlessly sad and lonely, while my father and brother couldn't care less about any of us, just watching tv in the livingroom. I sometimes asked them for help, and they just looked at me and ignored my request. And I was also a very sensitive child and the world, from I was a very small child, seemed overwhelming, but also like something I wanted to explore.

[@lisaskinner1710]

Listening to this is my life’s story.

[@cierrabracero6289]

Thank you so much for your knowledge Dr. Malkin. You are helping a lot of people. Keep going!

[@elleocwent]

I'm glad you make the distinction of a trait vs a disorder. I'm sure it can become disordered, but to state it as a trait is far easier to digest and perhaps to do some soft changes as adjustment

[@oliviavaldez8961]

There's healthy narcissism out there! My bf is a healthy narcissist, though he doesn't like the term! high competitive side and thinking of himself in the work place. He's total work zone and appears slightly apathetic, though he's not! In his personal life, he is kind, caring and compassionate!

[@kikka4783]

Talk about ah-ha moments....this was it. I got it!!! This explains everything. Being the keeper of a suicidal mom really set me up for every devastating choice I've ever made, leading to multiple narcissistic partners, children in a terrible situation and endless years of suffering! Time to change some things....

[@iantreacy3001]

Great information, thank you. I shall look forward to seeing more information on this subject. I have just ordered-'The Narcissist Test' & 'Rethinking Narcissism', and I'm very much looking forward to reading them. Have a good day.

[@joycedoesntlaii]

Super helpful information -- learned things I didn't even realize about myself and upbringing, looking forward to reading your books soon!

[@philipk917]

Highly important dynamic and issue to explore and identify! Thank you for posting this video. Best to you and yours.

[@attheranch873]

I was always sensitive and empathetic. My mom wasn’t a narcissist, she was just inept at knowing what to say when I was feeling bad. She would just look lost and say something like hang in there. My dad was sadistic and hateful though, we were all treated badly, so we felt bad.

[@CraigMalkin]

I’m so sorry :-(

[@trishg8852]

Thank you ..! I can relate.. I'm thankful I have found my voice.

[@jennik.3140]

OMG this is it. I'm not crazy!

[@ssosso79]

i know the feel!!

[@rebelagemedia9237]

this is amazing and very in depth! I highly resonate with this video

[@Nightswim_]

Yes I have this. Narcissistic mother . Shaming stepfather who would randomly rage . Suffice to say life hasn’t gone well for me , well I haven’t experienced much of a life , mostly avoiding and avoidance is extremely hard to overcome . It sounds to me like this trait can be correlated with the fearful avoidant attachment style too.

[@donatellawoodward6301]

The sound of your voice with the microphone is so nice that works also as ASMR. 😄🥰

[@leahcompton2522]

This is 100% me. Working on knowing my feelings and wants. It's a hard process. I have been describing it as the intended wife of the prince from the movie Coming To America..... Prince "what do you like to eat?" Her "whatever you like" Or the main character from Runaway Bride Conforming into whatever your significant other wants you to be. Because if they're happy, I'm happy. If they're depressed?, I'm depressed. I've done it for so many years. I have no clue as to what I feel about things.

[@NAJAlliance]

Great video. Thank you!

[@CraigMalkin]

glad you liked it!

[@wallymarcel1]

Great! Thanks! Sneak in more!

[@CraigMalkin]

will do!

[@attheranch873]

Thanks😊

[@rhettwarmsbecker4380]

This man put my life into perspective. Growing up I never had a voice. Except when my dad picked me up. I think he was to late to fix things tho. Cuz by the age of 5 I just didn't know what I wanted anytime he asked. It was always idk and it's been that way up til recent years. I feel like I'm slowly fixing myself, but I just can't seem to have a clear goal in life at 29 years old. I just echoed my way into welding when my buddy said he was gonna be a welder. I did the same. Whenever I get asked to do something I just didn't feel like doing. I went with it anyways. I know I need help

[@rickylumo8666]

Bought the book yesterday and enjoying it so far.

[@TheArtofBree]

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve only just been seeing the term “echoism” appear in the past month, but this perfectly describes my life growing up, and the struggles I’ve been facing trying to fit in with my new in-laws and move forward. I took the quiz before continuing the video, so hopefully I can take better action for myself moving forward :)

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello 👋 hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@WorldReserveCurrency]

Wow, I may have to learn more about this... I might be subject to this having grown up with NPDs. Never even heard of this before.

[@KoolT]

6:18 my depressed mother and FATHER never get a big head. My father's quote.

[@zkwelsh76]

Totally. How did I stumble upon this. I had never really considered it before and yet I think on some level I always knew. But this is me. To a tee. My god.

[@66U4IA66]

I have searched for so many years.💔 For the answer to my insanity. 😖I have struggled for so long to try and explain this. 🤖 My wretched soul thanks you doctor. 🙏

[@margaritaalvarez8462]

Thank you

[@kathyorugua]

You read my personality 100% ☆☆♡☆☆ i want to know now what steps to take next! Thank you

[@robbiepeterh]

Hi man thanks for the videos. It would make for a more comfortable listening experience if you could equalize the settings when you do videos so the volume stays constant from one video to another. Some like to listen to several videos in one go and would have to adjust the volume levels from one video to the next as one video is quiet and the next very loud at the moment. Thanks 😊

[@patricelondon3]

I have to look into this more. I tested in the red zone almost at the very end, for echoism.

[@GippslandCNC]

As I was thinking of this I'm reminded of a song, "what about me" sounds like an angry echoist who has had enough,

[@marinvidovic763]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/j5eyonxmaK15oJo

[@MyCurly11]

Your book and youtube videos discussing echoism have changed my life & so many others, thank you! Curious if you think there are similarities/overlap between echoists & empaths...or are the terms interchangeable? Thank you for your important work!

[@kecia225]

Thanks

[@absolute3112]

@6:43 Once did pageants as a kid, I now have horrible stage fright

[@ronfirek5824]

BLESSINGS

[@kimsophia5697]

Thank you for your insight. I have been learning I am somewhat different from others... I mean too sensitive and sometimes too submissive. I realized I'm not just introvert but echoist. I want to find out more about how to deal with my self and my life.

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Kim, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@amandam2238]

Hi Dr Craig Malkin, This channel is helping me beyond words & cannot thank you enough for the content you provide here. I have recently left my narc partner, yet still trying to understand why certain things happened during our relationship. I have 2 specific topics I would really be keen to hear you talk speak about & hear your opinion. 1. When the narc partner continually excludes you from their social life. Why? 2. When the narc partner withholds sex & continually (for years) rejects your initiations. Why?

[@carospereman3537]

We were not allowed a voice growing up in a narcissist family. Comes so easy to me; am I missing something?

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Caro, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world

[@elsahelgason]

For my parents loved me so much

[@claudettes9697]

That explains a lot, and um, I dont know what to do. I suppose this another start at getting better. At least life takes forever, so I have time. Thank you for the info.

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Claudette, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@1jboda]

Hello I just subscribed, What would be your opinion for the best careers for echoist?

[@yennygonzalez8128]

How can I help my 7 year old girl, who's already showing extreme sensitivity to other people's feelings? I'm a single mom and I am an echoists.

[@tiredscapegoat1569]

How did you manage to thrive and Break Free from the control ?

[@hearme4581]

Ironically I was much more an echoist as a child and into my early adulthood. I literally remember staying off too the side in everything so I won’t be in the way. I always let everyone else choose everything. I didn’t want too be in social situations. If I could be invisible I would. But I started too become more narcissistic as I started experiencing more trauma and abuse. I bounce back and forth depending on my situation in life.

[@nathankoehler2143]

Hi, I had purchased your book and scored 34ND, 29HN, 29EN and dont know quite what that means. My partner of 2.5 years scored me 30, 32, 17 and I was shocked how much lower in extreme narcissism she scored me. Any idea on what these mean would help. Ill be finished the book soon. Thanks for the resource!

[@mairenollag]

Hello...Thanks for the info. Do you still have your website? I keep getting a message that it can't be found...?

[@Nobody-uz7wd]

One thing that sticks out for me an early memory thst pinpoints it. I had a cold and was coughing through the night and was told to stop coughing. My mother has hypochondriac traits. Only she is allowed to be sick. I try to understand that she can't help it and dont want to hate. How do I learn how to love myself if nobody is willing to show you how. I'm told that I have to do it for myself but that's not how you learn is it. Thank you.

[@silentgrove7670]

I appear to have one trait of echoism. A strong desire to ensure I do not become like one of them EVER !! It can lead to preoccupation with myself to the extent of wondering if I was or am becoming one. This has diminished over time. It is odd in my case as I am very extroverted and outgoing. I have been told I have a strong personality. I have decided that these unpleasant experiences with narcs will likely manifest differently with each individual. How it struck me having an outgoing personality versus someone that is more introverted or shy. I have also concluded that I have many of the traits of an empath which a few years ago I would have never thought was a real thing. I do not even like discussing this yet as I do not want to "appear" special as that would smack of narcissism. I would suspect echoism and empath have some correlation. I have met a few other HSPs and I notice one thing that occurs a lot. We are targets for other people's projections. A friend recently has been accused by her recent ex as being abusive. As far as I know she does a lot for everyone else and in the short time I have known her never said an unkind word to anyone.

[@solbilbao7022]

Can ia your book in spanish?

[@GippslandCNC]

Would a large family be a factor also in developing echoism, or create the environment where it can be developed

[@elsahelgason]

You made me so upset of myself yesterday, so that cosmic see me last night. And I don’t need medication. If you wanted me announce of who you are that I will

[@robbieschubert7024]

Do you have a video on correcting problems of echoism. Possibly tools for those who struggle with these traits.

[@josephsworldoftaekwondo5059]

You may start by writing down a list of your favorite things. For example, what kind of movies you like, What’s your favorite season. What’s your favorite color. What’s your favorite food. You get me - easy questions - the basics. Rate your answers 1-5 on how easy of difficult they are to answer; 1 being least difficult, etc. Come back after you complete the exercise. “Echoism“ manifested way before Narcissis and narcissism. Its roots reach back to slavery and oppression.

[@xrayban2]

@@josephsworldoftaekwondo5059 Echoists probably don't have a favorite season or color, they chose randomly or invent preferences to cut short.

[@oliviavaldez8961]

@@xrayban2 Or just adjust to any given situation!

[@bigdesignspop]

Good question . Fyi. Prayer has helped me . I believe Jesus is "the Word" and this gives me hope to seek his voice in my head instead of people of the world. I've had great gains in finding my truth ..thru Christ

[@KoolT]

I wonder what you think about Sam VAKNIN work and videos.

[@arielperez797]

Dont if its echoism...but i often will get an idea in my head to give someone something. its a strong command like "you see that person? i want you to give them this". even if it is something i bought for me like food...i will usually fight it for a second and beg it to change its mind and how unfair that is. but the command remains firm and i just have to do it or the consequence is a none stop "why didnt you do the thing i told you!! it was good and would have made their day!....and it was so easy to do!" because i dont want to talk to them really....can i just give the thing and walk away? also...idk if anybody else's mind work this way. im like a toy. whatever you feed my mind...i will play with it and we could have a conversation about this thing you want to talk about and i will happily play along. i wont judge or even take it serious. might joke around about it accidentally just because i play with it in every angle. its like i dont really use my mind at that point...i go into a trance and kind just talk about the thing you want to talk about. it could be dangerous...i will say anything. even if they ask me my name and they dont need to know that information...my mind is slightly off so my mouth will just answer. i dont want to make the person uncomfortable or mad. i just want them to finish the exchange so i can get out of the trance. sometimes the trance is painful because its such a mirror that i feel like i am not in control.

[@elsahelgason]

You think so. I can write a book of you

[@simo_kuu3108]

This video got me pondering about the relationship between echoists and highly sensitive persons (HSPs). To me it seems that there are many overlapping qualities in people who are either echoists or HSPs. People in both of these groups seem to be very emphathetic, for instance. However, I gather that echoism is partly a result of relationship dynamics within a family, whereas SPS (sensory processing sensitivity) - quality in HSPs - is neural or biological in nature, which causes HSPs to perceive world in a more nuanced way and become easily overwhelmed by too intense sensory input. I was wondering If there would be something for us echoists or echoist/HSPs to learn from non-echoist HSPs to develop a healing relationship with ourselves and to deal with difficult people. How would non-echoist HSPs ideally deal with narcissistic people, for instance? Many thanks for the informative channel. :)

[@ssosso79]

i took the test on the website. i scored extreme narcissism and extreme echoist. with average healthy narcissism? how is this.. possible. i dont disagree. but.. im genuinly curious. its going to sound pretty out there. both sides of the spectrum. balancing out to average healthy narcissism. but we know. extreme echo or extreme narc isnt healthy. so its a paradox.? i think. i was narcissistic first. then went through some traumatic events. verbal abuse. splitting my ego. creating an alter ego. that is my echoism. ego is narc. alter ego echo.. vice versa. constantly fighting between the 2 going from one extreme to the other. i do have traits of both.

[@alwayslovelife76]

Dr. Malkin, What happens when two people with echoism are in a marriage? What challenges does this present? Can one person turn narcissistic? Thank you.

[@kevintewey1157]

Okay I might actually have this problem because when you ended the video so quickly I almost panicked not knowing who was going to be filling my head next KZbin has a category watch later it is addictive to information addicts

[@jdunn4419]

This sounds an awful lot like codependency that you are describing as echoism. How do you see it as different?

[@halszkagawlinska2163]

Rekomenduję terapię. Nie chcę dalej ranić siebie - tak wg mnie wygłądałby zdrowy schemat myślenia.

[@zacharywilliams3631]

My head hurts. My iq is 140+ and I'm diagnosed with asd. I have really terrible thoughts even on antidepressants.

[@Jda4160]

Are you taking new clients?

[@ThePorterStyle]

Are you conducting research?

[@lynnxu4146]

💯

[@elsahelgason]

Do you knows my growing up like.

[@Mountainman1971]

I was always told I was 'the squeaky wheel', I was overly sensitive, and if I didnt learn how to make a proper bed and play an instrument...no man would ever want me. That came from both parents and grandparents.

[@saminarose80]

Let’s say we had been abused as a child! Now what should I do when I wonder who I am and what I want in life ? When it all leads me to wonder what matters at the end when human beings extinct? I feel like all my beliefs have shattered and I’m unable to put the pieces back together as there’s no real answer to my questions! It’s the third time this disintegration is happening but this time I’m so lost! Sometimes I wish I didn’t know.

[@sharonfoss5354]

I was emotionally abused with my mom using bad words about me. Parents need to know how to speak with loving and encouraging words towards their children. My mom and dad had two girls, than I was born the third girl. They tried again to have a boy and we got a baby brother.

[@sharonfoss5354]

My mom, dad, and oldest sister are gone, and I miss them all so much. 😢

[@Suzu52]

I have been doing a deep dive into all things about covert narcissism in last year, in trying to understand myself and how I accepted staying in a very unhappy marriage and how I lost my voice....I read often about the narcissist/empathy connection and decided I was an empath.....now I hear this term, echoist, and this rings true too! Can you be both? Help, I'm so confused now.

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Susie, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@JohnSmith-ji7xt]

super high in echoism and married to an extremely narcissistic person. For example, he left me for the other woman, and I found out about their adulterous affair through their sex videos. My ex would not apologize, but wanted me to apologize to the other woman for "stealing" their videos. I did not use the videos against them even though they had sex at work, and I could have gotten her fired. My ex works at another job, now.

[@elsahelgason]

You don’t wanted me to do so.

[@VengefulPolititron]

yeah. I try to help my mom all the time.. but I can't express myself to her. and my dad is covert narc.. I think. she is co dependant. OR WAIT. maybe she is the communal Narcissist. and my dad is weak co dependant who isn't involved... idk

[@thehoneydeev]

This should have more views, js

[@denisedelgiudice3378]

Migraines are horrible things and decent meds are fairly new. Also, women were routinely blamed,degraded and ignored for them. You were a very caring person from a young age but it is sad if the whole burden was on you, or you weren't appreciated for it.

[@elsahelgason]

Why is only me.

[@montelo555]

This freakin clicks. Thanks.

[@honeybee6154]

Omg.... this is me. 😣 I Don't even need the test. I know.... And I'll address this Friday in therapy.

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello 👋 hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@ChristineClifton]

Interesting! What's the difference between an "echoist" and an "empath"?

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Christine, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎

[@elsahelgason]

It’s me talking about me

[@VengefulPolititron]

can an echo... get so fed up with being a non-person .... that they become an Narcissist to break away from being used?

[@rainerdietwerner5048]

interesting...I am in extreme echosim and extreme narcissism...which is actually correct...

[@KoolT]

4:00 discusses codependent behavior

[@elsahelgason]

I knowing a lot from last night if my dreams.

[@MrHeuristics]

Undifferentiated neurotic codependency?

[@lisaroberts2332]

I know children who take up very little space to please their narcissist father

[@Sophie-db1ko]

Couldnt find the test online. What s the link please?

[@CraigMalkin]

here you go! www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test

[@elsahelgason]

You against me now

[@elsahelgason]

I’m knowing you all, cosmic told me all.

[@pollacksharman8708]

Hello Elsa, hope you’re safe over there?

[@pollacksharman8708]

How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎