ARE YOU OBLIGATED TO HELP YOUR FILIPINA WIFE'S FAMILY??

In this episode, we'll talk about if you owe it to your Filipina wife's family to help them. Leave your opinions with us, and we will discuss them.

[@loneranger625]

Not to be disrespectful, but what does the Philippine culture say about the local men who walk away from their woman and kid. I've been told that is quite common.

[@EasyCrypto101]

Not much because it's considered normal but your considered a rich afam and based on my 25yrs experience there not all but most expect the eldest daughter to provide for the family and your taking her they assume you will help them. To fair it's more common if you date a poor family in the province but not all will ask and my past relationships only one family actually asked for stuff otherwise I gave If I wanted. You should put a limit at the start of your relationship and if it's too much there asking just move to the next girl.

[@kennethedwards1677]

They laugh at the idiot "Kuno" providing for their "seed."

[@travelinghobo]

​@@kennethedwards1677 Is that what happened to you? Go fetch a doll and show us where they hurt you 😅

[@rickylee6129]

I know of several families that are single parent now because of the husband's leaving and start a new family. Heartbreaking 💔. Leaving the family's with nothing. Make divorce legal there so ladies can remarry and be with someone without looking over their shoulder. 35% of Catholics get divorced in the world. What about the 4 mortal sins 🤔 ❓️ 1. Murder 2. Adultery 3. Blasphemy 4. Idolatry Philippines is the #1 porn hub in all the world 🌎. FACT

[@Kayfabe-226]

Totally Agree...

[@mrbruno6569]

If im working 60hrs a week. The family gets a hand out for sitting home watching tv will not sit good with me.

[@tonyp6474]

I'm married to a Filipina, and if she needed help with her family, I wouldn't have a problem helping, but with conditions. I believe you should help people become independent and not dependent. Also, my parents taught me it was their responsibility to get me through college because I didn't ask to come into this world.

[@danielhackney7806]

Lucky you, my parents refused to pay for my college and said I owed them for the money and effort it cost them to raise me. By the way, they were NOT Filipino. They were born during WW 2 in the 1940's and weren't treated very good by their parents. To be truthful they were kind of assholes, never had much of a loving relationship with them. .

[@AutoCrete]

Two stories come to mind. The easy one is the case of a 14 year old Filipina sent off to work to pay for her sisters education. What pray tell does she owe her parents? The second story is about a Filipina living in the US. When this lady goes home to visit her family and barely after saying hello they are asking "What did you bring us?" I keep hearing about the great family values but many examples don't send that message. Edit to add: I heard about a case where 'the family' was discussing problems. The ex pat husband tried to make a point and was immediately told that this was none of his business and to butt out. Personally in that situation I would pull out my wallet, open it up and say "This is my business and you can butt out too." Then I would simply leave with or without my partner, her choice.

[@Sahrokh]

Yes, this is typical Filipino hypocrisy. They have this veneer of fake "Catholicism". But they are the first to give birth to children outside the wedding and the first to totally love the asian tradition of brutally exploiting children for hard work.

[@davidevans474]

😮 thet😂 🎉 😅w 😅zads we we talking e mmm wq 😅❤ CD t we😂❤😢😂😂

[@davidevans474]

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[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Oh yah. There are a lot of cases wherein the kids are sent off to work, like being a nanny or in the wet market, to help support the family or even help the siblings that are studying. It is indeed very unfortunate. And well, that's also common here in the Philippines, wherein one family member is outside the country working their ass off, and when they go home to their homeland, the family won't even ask their daughter or son and just go straight to the balikbayan box. All of those cases are very unfortunate, and I do hope that things will change when it comes to that mindset.

[@Sahrokh]

@@filipinalifewithmia5208 thank you. I actually discovered about "balikbayan box" thanks to this reply^^

[@michaelbeggs2013]

Great topic Mia. I am newly retired in Cebu for 8 months now with a much younger girlfriend. Her father had a stroke during the pandemic and she left school to watch her 3 year old sister so her mother could work. Her parents eventually moved to the family farm and after a while her parents brought her younger sister back to the city to stay with my girlfriend. I paid for her younger sister's enrollment in private school and I have been paying all my girlfriend's expenses as well. When her family's wooden home in the province was destroyed by flooding very recently, I gave them 150,000 pesos to build a new modest cement home, install a new power pole, buy paint and a refrigerator. Her father and uncle were able to complete the house in just over a week. With their new refrigerator they will be opening a sari sari store, as there is no store nearby. I made it clear that I would help with buying the refrigerator but I would not continually be putting my own money into the store, and that the store needs to be self sustaining. I have significant savings and a small pension until I am old enough to collect social security, so this 150,000 is not a big deal for me. It is a big deal for her family and they seem to be industrious in getting the new house built quickly. I plan to visit the new place soon, and I have never met her parents. My family in America is all deceased except for my brother and a couple nephews, so I want to have a new family here. If I did not have savings I would not spend all this money to help her family. I couldn't stand by and do nothing when her family's home was just a pile of broken lumber, when I have the ability to help them financially. I have plans to marry my girlfriend unless something bad happens, so I can sort of look at the house expenses as a prepaid dowry or something, although that sounds weird. Even if things don't work out I will feel good that I helped a family in need. I think if you really care about someone you should try to help the family too if they need help. Family is everything in the Philippines. Some people would just call me a simp, but we care deeply for each other. So anyway my opinion is that you should help the family if you can, if they are in need of help.

[@danielhackney7806]

@michaelbeggs2013, I don't know what you consider a good savings, but I only have $205,000 plus $1,800 in social security a month and I feel almost BROKE. I would offer help to family if I was married to the women or we had been together at least a few years. There are plenty of young women in the Phil's who desire to be with older expats. Just be careful and hold on to your money. I'm sure you worked hard to save it

[@dickeyspaz3222]

Never felt obligated and have never been asked by her parents for anything. However my bride (18 yrs) and her two sisters have always sent a monthly stipend to her parents long before we ever met. That has not stopped in our 20 years together but my wife has always worked as a (RN) and sent funds from her own salary. Her parents are both retired school teachers, in their mid 80's and some of the best people you could ever meet. I am happy they are able to live a very comfortable life in their later years and makes me very happy in the partner I have chosen. The apple didn't fall very far from the tree in this family and all 3 sisters even though not working in the Pinas' have carved out a good life for themselves. One golden rule to follow is meet the family while dating and if the family is f**ked up then best to move on while you can.

[@arnoldjohnson3317]

Would you say the cycle of supporting the parents in her family line has ended with your wife’s generation?

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Your relationship with your wife and her family appears to be healthy and supportive. Meeting and understanding the family dynamics can provide valuable insights into a person's upbringing and values. It's wonderful to hear that your wife and her sisters have been able to help their parents while also living satisfying lives. If you are impoverished in the Philippines and one of your family members has the ability or money to provide for herself, he or she is considered to be the one who can sustain the entire family.

[@alllenburgers9842]

it is very simple husband is not responsible for gf/wife's family parents in very country invest time in their childrens upbringing

[@Vincent-ez6rp]

My wife’s 5 siblings all drive $40000 cars, I got a 10 year old Camaro and a 2000 month mortgage. We send 100 for each for Christmas birthdays etc, that’s it. If love involves any kind of money transactions it’s really just pay for play

[@jamescrabill7345]

No, I do not believe I should have to provide support to the family. Now being said that does not mean I will not under certain circumstances I would help.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Yep. I agree with you :-)

[@homebasebelgium359]

I married my ex-Filipina wife in 2000. I was shocked by the poverty of her family, so I decided that, instead of organising an expensive wedding party - we were married in Belgium - I would buy her parents a multicab, so they could make some extra money. A few years later, I started building a 7 bedroom mansion where her parents and all her siblings with their children could live, so nobody had to pay rent anymore, eventhough they were just living in simple bahay kubo. Throughout our marriage I paid medical expenses for at least half of the members of her family. Her mother would have died 5 years earlier if I hadn't paid for a very expensive surgery and aftercare. I never saw any form of appreciation! When something broke down in the house THEY were living in, they didn't repair it, but just waited for "the white guy" to come and pay for it. After 14 years of marriage, I divorced my wife on the count of multiple adultory (there's another name for those women, but she thinks that only applies to women sitting behind windows). As it turned out, her entire family knew all along about her sexual escapades. When I divorced her, my house in the Philippines became hers, she kept my car, my clothes and everything else. Her family that owed so much to me just cut me out of their life. They realised that I was no longer going to be their ATM machine, so what's the use of staying friends with a foreigner who no longer contributes to your financial well-being, right? I became the victim of my own empathy and there is no way I will ever support my wife/girlfriend's family again. I will take care of my woman. Her parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, 1st 2nd 3rd and 4th cousins are on their own. I have done enough charity to last a lifetime. The priest who married us 23 years ago told me I have earned my place in heaven and, if there is a hereafter, I don't think these people and I will be going to the same place.

[@geertgellens2017]

I (another Belgian) recognize the situation

[@Sahrokh]

@@geertgellens2017 Yes, for some reason, all my Belgian friends end up being extremely generous and sweet people who get relentlessy used and abused.

[@rogergardner7740]

Me too Lost over 100 grand My house in San Jose Delmonte Bulacan My almost new Mitsubushi Adventure wagon Thousands of bucks in atty fees to get her an expedited waiver and visa back to US New motorbikes for them too, lots of medical help, yada yada Was married at private wedding in San Jose Area at Sitio Luca Resort Well the Iglesia Ni Christo hurch there gave us both the boot for not being "Approved" to get married in their church Well she left me saying "No man is worth my "Membership" in the church Well Adios Amigo for me back in US back to Catholic learned a big lesson same as you I get it man never ever again happy alone with my 2 cats at 72

[@ryanjones7543]

You played yourself.. Also I'm sure you don't get to heaven by giving. You have to ask Jesus to wash tour sins away and acknowledge that he died on the cross for your sins...

[@danielhackney7806]

@@rogergardner7740 If you don't mind me asking what was your age gap? I keep hearing about younger Filipina taking advantage of older men. I figure if the older ones are as bad as the younger ones I might as well get a young Filipina.

[@jeffbateman3620]

The most productive financial help that I've ever seen was from an older Haitian man living in Nicaragua. He worked hard his entire life for what he had, and he saw that most people around him were lazy and lacked focus or ambition. When he'd give money, these people wasted it in short order and reverted to form. So he started offering to support people in the form of work. An example is to provide the startup for a food cart for as long as the person worked hard and made good use of the equipment. This made his investment conditional on the effort that the person was willing to put in, and it weeded out those who were unwilling to work to better their lives.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

That's the best way. To give them something and earn their money, not just spend it all at once. So they understand the concept of hard work and saving money.

[@onetime5640]

Wonderful video , thank you ! This a very important subject for every one to think about before marriage . 🌺

[@kentoftheforest]

Thanks for the video. Tough topic. Well done.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

My pleasure!

[@ethomasbernhoffer3110]

I take care of my wife’s family because I have the means and love and care for them just as I love and care for my own family here in the United States. However it is understood that my wife’s family does the best they can to support themselves and the children do the best that they can in school so they have the opportunity to support themselves. They are always grateful.

[@karlweeman2266]

When my wife’s family needs help she let’s me know that she is sending money. We do send about $100 a month for her father. When she does send money for medical issues or the kids need school supplies her sister will send her receipts and pictures of what they bought. My wife is the tough one when it comes to sending money. She has cut off her father and siblings when she felt they were getting to demanding. I have gotten in trouble for sending Jolibee money for the kids without talking to her first.

[@glock13100]

Hi Mia,delicate subject,very well explained,only half way yet.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Hey, thanks!

[@GeecheeLionsJourney]

Thanks for your subject and delivery I always enjoy. Yes that is a good point about the parents raising the daughter that a man thought was good enough to marry. Yes every man is not rich. Have to deal on a case-by case basis and the partners should be on the same page about that.

[@johnclark8637]

Does Paul pay your family? You don't have to answer if it's too personal

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

He does help my family in any way that he can, but we didn't force him to do it. It is up to him if he'll help or not. Of course, I will forever recognize my husband's help to my family, as I am very thankful to have him. I won't be ashamed to tell anyone about that.

[@vincen.4151]

Good video Mia! This kind of culture where you help out the family is the same all over the world. Not just in PI. So guys when you travel to meet any women and consider getting married to someone. Make sure you know who you are and what your values are. Look and meet the family closely and see what you will be getting yourself into. If the family is low value, won't even help themselves to improve the bad conditions they are in. There is a good chance your future wife will be the same as her mother. Be careful and chose wisely guys.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Thank you. Yes, better try to understand how her family dynamics work and how they deal with finances. It'll help you in the long run if you know how they handle finances.

[@randellt]

You're amazing.. Beautiful..Thank You

[@cryptogaming9935]

Thanks for the vid.

[@joemelo1372]

There's many ways of helping. If someone's just laying around doing absolutely nothing and just living off of you then absolutely do not help in any way shape or form. But like you said if a family is trying to better themselves and your help will help him in that direction then by all means if you can help you should help. But I think there's better ways of helping someone than just handing them money. Help them be self-sufficient help him start a business show him how to run that business to wear it profitable. Teach them not to live for the moment and think about tomorrow. I think if you give a man a fish he will eat for a day but if you teach them to fish he will eat for a lifetime. I think teaching someone how to fish and be able to survive and strive and improve their lifestyle is much better than constantly giving them that one fish everyday

[@asjka67]

" Teach them not to live for the moment and think about tomorrow" good luck to you, it's close to mission impossible.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

You make excellent points about the significance of helping others in methods that foster self-sufficiency and long-term progress. Empowering people to be self-sufficient and giving them essential skills can have a long-term impact on their lives. You help someone create a sustainable route to success by giving guidance and support to help them start a business or improve their abilities.

[@Geoduck.]

Before we became married my wife and I had a serious discussion about how many children we would have religion and family support. We agreed no support for her (now mine also) family. They were reasonably well off so that made it easy. I wanted a wife who loved me and wanted to start a family together. Not one who loved that I could support her family. For me that was a deal breaker.

[@Bravo21]

Well I'm not buying myself a new car, I'm buying a used car so that's a firm Nope! Yes, I agree it is situational, no two families are the same. I would not mind helping out, they are family after all. But I refuse to be a chump or be used by anyone, and this is doubly true if my partner tries to do it... talking a deal breaker here for me. I'm just a middle class guy and not rich so no, I will not be buying them a home, will not be buying them land and wont be the piggy bank for parents, brothers and cousins; I can't afford it. Also my First responsibility is to care and provide for my family and our future - talking about myself, wife/kids here. They must come first. Imho you must have this conversation early in any serious relationship... put it off at your own risk. Both of you must agree to boundaries for the extended family and stand by them. It's not going to work if she is always making you the bad guy if not paying for the endless string of 'Emergencies' that crop up. I think if you want to give them a monthly income and can afford then do it but be clear, that's it. For me the priority is to take care of our own home and family first. Sorry not sorry. Another option is to give money to your wife every month... say 8k-10k and be clear it's hers to use as she likes - cloths, salon, lunches, family help etc. Leave it up to her how much she gives to her family and to who. This strategy gives her power and status within the family and takes the monkey off your back - Win.

[@PhilipZeplinDK]

"Remember, the parents have put decades of hard work into raising her" - yes, and my family wealth I have has been accumulated over literally 3 generations of people working to build this up, trusting that the next generation would continue the work and not just squander it. 3 generations ago, my family was in abject poverty, and now I'm in the top 5% of wealth owners in my country. At least 4 different peoples lifetimes have been invested and spent on this. All the while while "putting decades of work into raising me". That's a really weird and faulty analogy to make - like Western parents don't put in effort or time to raise their kids, like it's a zero-effort thing in the West.

[@racerx428]

When me and my gf soon to be fiancé first started chatting. Within a month of chatting I nipped it in the butt by telling her I will support your family if I want to support. Please do not ask me to support your family. And it has been 4 yrs yesterday we've been together. She has not once ask me for money for her or family. Ofcourse I have been supporting her and her family when I feel its necessary. Please discuss support with your significant other from the get go... do not prolong talking about it.... Good video Mia.

[@Juice17408]

Wow dude four years, I see your moving slow👍👍👍

[@gabeghiby6935]

this debt of gratitude is twisted manipulation and here is why: 1. it was the parents' choice to give birth and raise the child - no one asked me, or any newborn child if they wanted to be born in that country, in that family, with those parents - if the parents choose to give birth to the child, it is their natural responsibility to take care of and raise the child - the child has no reason to be in debt, once again, no one asked the child if they want to be born 2. are you aware that traditionally, the bride should be a virgin and come with a dowry?? - the new family the newlyweds have to start their own family in a good way, not to carry the burden of helping their extended family - if the dowry comes, then the new couple should indeed care for the family, but if not, there is no debt of gratitude to the parents - if you don't know what a dowry is, look it up, research a bit and you'll find out looks to me the kids are an unwritten retirement system for the parents there... does the government there not offer retirement for the seniors..??..

[@rickylee6129]

Good Video Mia 😊. I've been helping four family's in the Philippines 🇵🇭 for year's now. It started very innocently but quickly became a burden. I am retired and could not afford to keep sending money on a regular basis, so I helped with a lot of encouragement and ideas to get 3 of the family's job's. One more family to go. I paid for a lease on a coconut 🥥 farm and many crops of corn. I can't help everybody but trying my Best to help. I know what it's like to go hungry. I will be moving to the Philippines 🇵🇭 this year hopefully by late August. 😊 Stay Safe 💕 💞 🙏 🙏

[@richardlane1130]

Once you send money ... you set precedence ... and they expect the Finical FLOW to never stop!

[@rickylee6129]

@@richardlane1130 Unfortunately, Yes I know. 😕

[@BigTdog88]

Does a filipino guy support his wife’s family or is it only foreigners who are expected to do it?

[@sdleasia]

I am going to support her mom, hopefully with a fair and consistent amount. Mom is taking care of her grandkids while their mom is doing OFW work. My LDR is with her mom to help with the kids and run the Sari-Sari. I won't send enough for the family to sit around and do nothing, but enough for very basic expenses like food and electricity and ensure the kids eat. The parents of the kids are still sending support, and the rest of working age family still need to work. We all have our stories.

[@DavidWischnewski]

My opinion is that when someone disrespected the hard work that someone does to make the money that someone freely gives should be cut off. Social security is not free money. We work hard for 40+ years to be able to collect.

[@thomashouser6515]

Very important subject. I knew my wife 2 years before I married her. We Never discussed this! She is the oldest. Her youngest sister hates my wife. She says we let them starve! My wife was 86 pounds 5 foot 4 inch. when we got married. Official usnavy scales. Fail the first physical, spot on lung. She was helping her family long before I met her. The youngest sister now is very wealthy, dosen’t want to help anyone. Tells her nieces they don’t owe the family anything. I always cared about my wife, then,now, I help her. Poverty in the RP is no joke. Some are great full, the youngest Not! I suspect my wife is helping 10 or 20 people. Some made good! Some didn’t. I would much rather help them than to be the one asking for help. God Bless!

[@George-ux6zz]

Magandang hapon Mia. Have an amazing day, take care and God bless you. 🙏😊

[@WhenTheManComesAround]

My male Filipino friends do tell a different understanding than you do. They say that its the daughter or son that is responsible for providing support for their own family. That the only time the responsibility transfers to the husband (foreigner or not) is when the husband doesn't want his wife to work. Because it would be a portion of her wages that would go to the family. That if he lets the wife work, then its her labor that will provide the funds for her family. Just as her wages will not be going to support his family. I have no personal experience myself, but thats the perspective of 3 Filipino male friends i have.

[@Laurie_H]

After being with a FIlipina for 7 years her attitude towards our relationship has completely done a 180 degree turn. She hardly ever spends any time with me, only when she wants something. I'm not married and that will never change. We both benefit from a mutual relationship and until my needs change I'll just remain in the relationship. I'd recommend living with someone for 1 year to really find out what they're really like and what they're motives are. Its nearly impossible to keep a charade going for over a year and the honeymoon faze will be over by that point. Therefore you'll see things clearly without rose colored glasses on.

[@DavidWischnewski]

I would recommend 4 years before marriage.

[@RCFSULAW]

If her attitude changed 180 degrees why not break up and fund happiness elsewhere. You deserve the whole enchilada

[@RONALD......]

@@RCFSULAW Ikr... there's plenty of desperate ph's over there, pick another one or another one or another one and move on..

[@geoffb5813]

Great topic to discuss. I have been dating my Philippine gf for a number of years and will more than likely marry her. She has the traits of a beautiful and good natured woman. I am grateful. Ok! Advice from me. • yes! Help her family out BUT start off small and see what they do with it. So many people say this and that but their actions do not match up. If they abuse or are not grateful in the small things, then you will be taken for a ride if you keep giving. • For the man who bought her family a house straight up and it shows they do not look after it with no gratitude, well, lm sorry to say - you are a fool for jumping so fast and so much into that. STOP 🛑 all credit until they change. You are not helping them by throwing them money. Do not be an ATM for them. Lay down strict boundaries. • Mia! It true. If the person or family are lazy or having no motivation or showing no attitude- it is innate in them. It’ll be a miracle if they change. Probably not. ‘They make their bed, they lie on it’. Do not feed the problem. Thanks Mia. Geoff from Australia 🇦🇺 😊

[@bobkelley8291]

Sabi ko, tama na, Iyon ay sapat na ako. I give my wife a good life plus I gave my mother in law a small monthly pension. After a while she told me that I give her to much money and that some lazy family members are bothering her for money. So I asked how can I help her. She asked if I could buy her two kalabaw. And I think she would rent them to make money. That seemed to work very well for her. Also I would buy a good quality tabaco in the big city and someone going back to the provence would deliver to her. That was twenty some years ago as her has passed on. She was a very simple loving woman and always protected me. Now I am the old man married to an old Filipina. Life has been good for the last 35 years.

[@robertmadea9229]

Any person or even whole family could face difficult financial situation. Especially while makro economic financial crises. But anybody who has any morals,, will try to do something to improve as much as possible.

[@bryankoziar2867]

Like you said things need to be discussed early in the relationship. What is the needs and expectations of the woman and family and what are the same from the Man. Yes they have to be tempered with his ability and resources. Keep your word unless circumstances change.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Yep!

[@williamtruesdale2665]

@@filipinalifewithmia5208 would love to talk to you more great content

[@dustinperry828]

My wifes parents and most siblings fall under the lazy and drunk category. I tried helping alot at the beginning ut ended it after about 2 years, i was bad mouthed and unappreciated for the help in the past Now i help only a little 2 or 3 times a years In my opinion my wife and my relationship has improved since istopped helping because idontfeel used bythem they had a thousand chances to change 1 sister did change and is back in school so i vuess i did help 1 of them That sis works for us ,studies,and is doingwell in life

[@JoeannAndDave]

Much of what you said was common sense when it comes to who deserves and how much. Extremes were cited but in most cases it's somewhere in between and often very foggy as to real or perceived "needs". But there needs to be some gratitude. I've seen how the family sees a sibling who helps them as a "savior". The troubling part was they knew this sibling stole a lot of the money but they didn't seem to mind it, as long as they were on the receiving end. Not a care was given to the victim of the crime. In other very common circumstances, a daughter is made to work in Angeles. What of them? I don't know but it seems there is a culture of the children owing their parents regardless the harm caused and to who. To that guy, I'd tell the landlord the rent is stopping, assuming he is renting. Tell the landlord why and perhaps they will whip the ingrates into shape if he wants continued rent.

[@nomadinthemaking]

My partner is coming to uk on fiancée visa and I’ve been advised when you get semi serious with a woman from a developing country you bring it to their attention you don’t do family support. I agree that Filipina should help her parents as in the provinces most jobs don’t have social security but not to the extent putting nieces and nephews through their studies and being kept poor in the west. Although I’m a believer that in America Canada uk etc if you are poor it’s your fault you are poor which isn’t the case in south east Asia. My definition of poor is you can’t afford to eat or buy medicine. Not you can’t afford to run 2 cars per household or you can’t afford the sports package on cable.

[@stoicfreediver]

Having children is about giving to the next generation, not taking from it or considering your spawn to be a part of your retirement plan. Every culture has toxic elements to it and none is perfect. I might help a family set up a joint emergency medical/retirement fund which EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY CONTRIBUTES TO. The Filipina Pea nailed this topic to the wall.

[@db-law1230]

Interesting video, Mia. From the west, it is very strange to hear that the daughter owes a debt to her parents for raising her. Wow, I wish my daughter got that memo . . .🤣 Seriously, though, I think it all depends on whether the family actually needs help and what your own financial situation is. For me, I could easily support my wife's family as I am financially secure, even by Western standards, so I would not hesitate to support her family if they needed assistance. But every situation is unique, and each has to judge both the need and their capacity. Hope you and Paul are doing well. I am looking forward to seeing some videos of the two of you soon.

[@lorandmagyar]

The amount of money discussed is pretty minimal for most westerners. I don't think I have ever heard of any support over $100-$200(US) per month. It should be easy to adjust the home economics to accommodate this minimal support.

[@garygilliard8628]

He has every right to stop assisting this Family. They are behaving in an ungrateful manner. The Family had an obligation to use this gift in a responsible manner.

[@asjka67]

Hello Mia, Adults become parents because they have chosen to have a child. They are the ones who choose, who make the decision to have a child. They are responsible for raising their child. The child owes them nothing, he did not ask to be born. "utang na loob" is a very good way to make a person dependent on something that they don't have to assume. It is with this kind of thing that we get Filipinas who go to work abroad to send money to their families. And their own life? When does she start building it? When do they start thinking about their happiness, starting a family, etc... Help the family? why not, but in any case not for the reason of which you speak. Thank you for this video. Have a plaisant day :)

[@AntiDecepticonCampaign]

What is church life like there? I’d prefer to move there and actually help her family with farm or business. I don’t have a wife yet.

[@urbanws1234]

If she wants to get a Job here to send Money Home God Bless her. As for me I support Myself, My Wife and Our child. End of Obligation.

[@stannmcb3]

I have a 30 year old daughter. It was always my intention and responsibility to prepare her for her future. When she became an adult I will always worry. It comes with being a parent. I always felt if I ever had to take from her then I failed as a parent. I always felt as part of a parents responsibility to never take from the children. I understand things can be very different in other cultures so it is not good to judge others. Personally if it was possible, I would have satisfaction in investing in the future of a niece or nephews college. It is a good feeling that you made a difference in someone’s future. My resources are limited so such scholarships would have to be monitored closely to ensure every peso is not wasted. I guess I’m trying to say investments should not be to make the family’s life easy but to make their future better. I don’t know if I am expressing myself the right way. Money is always a delicate matter. You are right. These things should be made clear and early when the relationship starts to become serious. I am also very aware the woman can feel a lot of pressure being in the middle. Cultural difference can ruin a relationship without patience and understanding.

[@rocrobert783]

It depends on your income. But differently yes

[@AKSBSU]

I'd be willing to help out if there is some sort of emergency, but I'm not going to accept being on the hook as Mr. Moneybags just owing monthly family tithes for no reason as though I'm her parents' personal retirement fund. I think I have developed a compromise being open to her donating a reasonable portion of income she generates towards her family. I'd be taking care of most of the household bills as I always have.

[@stuartloggins3691]

I've given thousands and had thousands more stolen from me. So my Philippine family and their girl are on their own now.

[@SunRise-ul7ko]

I worked all my life to fund my future retirement. In Australia people like myself will never be eligible for any form of government social security in old age. I'm not going to fund other people's retirement from my retirement account.

[@danielhackney7806]

My SS is a bit higher at 120,000 peso but here in California that's poverty income. If it wasn't for the fact I don't have to pay rent and have plenty of saving to supplement my SS I'd be living hand to mouth. It would be nice to live in the Phil's and only have to use my SS to live on.

[@russmilosavich2465]

They definitely shouldn't have to support family members with bad habits. They are mainly responsible for their wife and if they have a family to support their family. If you have the means to help, then that would be great. It shouldn't be expected though.

[@brianbaxter3913]

I have heard many stories of helping your partners family. I have also heard a lot of Filipina's saying in interviews they would never ask their partner to help her family. If he offers ok but not obligated to help. For me I have no partner here yet and not in a rush to find one. If it happens it happens if not I am able to take care of myself. My monthy income is only around 60K peso so I don't have a lot left over at the end of the month. What savings I have is to buy things I may need to live or travel or in case of emergency. I would not be in a position to give much help

[@George-ux6zz]

I wouldn't have a problem helping her family out. If they have absolutely old run down house, fix it or build them a different house. Although, if they don't take care of it, I would cut them off. If they became lazy, I would have to light a fire under their bottoms. If she had younger siblings,help them go through college. As they graduate college buy them transportation. If they don't graduate college they get to drive trike for a living. That's more than fair if you ask me.

[@meandyouagainstthealgorith5787]

My thoughts are it would be welcome to bring gifts and share, but to pay for that which will not be shared could be seen as insulting to her family.

[@mikesimpson9997]

I’m well off so I would do what I can to keep a happy family . We would set an exceptable amount that’s set in stone. I’m not there to give them a life of luxury but I can see they are happy and need for nothing. Everyone’s different financially so I can’t see everyone doing as I would

[@evansmaketo1643]

Fall in love with your partner's culture and tradition before you marry them. I find this utanga na loob being similar to what we do here in southern afrika. Its not only christian but human as well. Yes those who might be getting help might develop a dependency syndrome or be wasteful. We should continue assisting them in every way possible just as we dont stop pay tax simply because the government is corrupt. Life is a like a wheel, your kids might be in need of help from the same people that you choose not to help today.

[@Kayfabe-226]

If a man gives from his heart without being asked too then it means something...

[@Damonbcool]

How much does the son give to their Filipino parents as a debt of gratitude ?

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

That I don't know. LOL

[@thomasrudy6132]

i have never been there so i don't know the depths of poverty there. when i do see it and it is people in my girlfriends family, i may be totally willing to do what i can. i agree with almost all you've said except the part where you said, and i am paraphrasing, "if they are good people and you can afford to help, and you don't, shame on you." really? if i am in your country, am i automatically obligated to live my life according to the local culture? what about my girlfriend living her life according to my countries culture? where i am from, from the time i got out of school and began working, i have never relied upon anyone other than myself to pay for my way in this world. no help from anyone, i am sure that i, and my family, are very fortunate to be able to support ourselves. and no, my parents did not pay for my college education. will i find myself undateable if this is how i live my life there? what are your thoughts on this? thank you Mia

[@MrMatipid]

Much better to teach her family members if they are inclined, how to start a small business. You could give them some monies to start it, say 10,000 pesos as capital. They have to make it work or lose those monies. Most filipinos eke out a living selling food or small items for small profits. In total, most are able to earn enough to feed their families for a day. If they have a little bit of capital, they can earn more monies.

[@raydunn3501]

Hi Mia,,, Not an easy subject to approach with your chosen love one,,, But i think by marrying a foreigner then you will know we don't have or subscribe to that scenario,,, I personally think that most foreigners will give or help naturally rather than it to be expected,,, Especially as most of them there are probably retired. Unless they are supper rich most of them will be living of their pensions. The other thing that will surely be a topic of discussion is what you say about being able to afford,,, for instance most foreigners are used to having nice things like a house a car a washing machine a motorbike holidays etc. so if his wife's family are having a particular hard time their going to think he isnt bothered about them hes super rich, when in fact he is only living his life that hes always known and saved for. Its well known that Filipinos don't know how to handle money or budget,,, So your right about having that discussion before you wed otherwise it could lead to a very toxic situation,,, and all parties should know of the outcome. Best Wishes

[@jonanamar8503]

Do you think an American woman wouldn’t want you to help her family? Think again…. Why would you think that she is going to totally give up her parents for you? Only a fool would think this…. Every family is a little different and you better find out about how they are with money long before you marry her. Very happily married to a beautiful Filipina for years and I love her mom because she is good to me and has never asked me for money but I help her and glad I do. But I knew her family for years before I married her. I don’t help any others in her family, just her mom. Her father is dead.

[@mikewright9637]

Yes here in America the man and woman work. Each have their own career. Nothing wrong with helping if one chooses to do so. But when I've worked all my life to be comfortable in old age. Do you think I'm going to just give it away because a culture difference? No I'm not going to do that. A smart person will see where and when to help but don't expect because it's not the Forginers place to be Superman all the time.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Every person and every connection are unique. It is important to have open communication and to understand each other's expectations and ideals in family and financial problems. It's great to hear that you're having a good time with your Filipina wife and her family. Good for you :-)

[@ellisz5972]

I am getting on in my years. I have about 10 years left to save for retirement. I already gave her family about 80k which was squandered. Wife doesn't understand how hard it is to make money. If I even ASK her how she spends it, she blows a gasket. I love her, but I'm depressed like ALL the time now and I doubt she cares one bit.

[@inclover780]

Sad as that was my experience too. If you asked where the money was spent she said I did not trust her family. Sending that money ruined our marriage and their lives. Beware.

[@ThePhLAW.]

It's up to a husband of a Filipina whether she wanted to help the family of a Filipina or not. Its not a coercion.

[@TheHibener]

My solution would be to make a fixed Budget and my Pinay decides who to support. Because she knows her Family

[@alickak8346]

My family also put in much to raise me but they dont need anything from me in return.. not only Pinay..

[@rogerphillips4211]

She's not contributing to my family, her family isn't living with us, my family isn't living with us either. They can enjoy a dinner once, or twice a week. My money is for me to grow my family. For my wife and children.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

I agree with you!

[@AFMIL2862]

“A debt of gratitude!” It’s the job of parents to raise their children. No one’s obligated to someone else’s money. If a foreigner chooses to assist the family, great; but to say that a debt of gratitude is owed to the family of your spouse/girlfriend is absolutely ridiculous! How were they surviving before the foreigner came into her life?

[@odellarnold3911]

If they family working hard yes I'll help

[@jamessims4802]

Young lady! I love the way you speak! I think you're very attractive! But I believe a man is only obligated to his wife. Though supporting his wife, she in return should help her family. In other words, when her man gives her money, she should give them part of that. I like Filipinas, I believe they're beautiful women. Have a great day

[@inclover780]

My marriage became a disaster because of her family's constant demands for money. As Mia says talk about it prior to building a relationship with her. Don't expect them to bring up the subject of money early on. I think many set the trap after the marriage. After 22 years of a terrible marriage we are headed for divorce. We have a wonderful son though that loves both of us. I struggled to send money over the years and never heard a word of honest appreciation, only thanks, when is the next donation coming. After sending $160,000 over 11 years her a family has 3 college degrees that are unused and a house that was falling apart after 5 years to show for my years of hard work. I think they would be better off never meeting me. And of course once I stopped sending money they all turned their backs on me. It should be noted that Filipinos moving to the US and working often experience the same nightmare. I met a Filipina who shared her story that both parents were doctors in the US and sent their entire savings back to their respective families for 25 years. Her parents wanted the children to be familiar with Filipino culture so every year the one joy their frugal family experienced was a trip to the Philippines every summer. She said the siblings were confused and always discussed among themselves and wondered why the parents worked in the US when all their Filipino relatives seemed better off than their own family. When her parents divorced after 25 years of marriage the mother confided in them the parents were broke and the reason. She said that she and her sisters resolved to ONLY date and marry white American guys to avoid this curse.

[@chrislausen6639]

Why should a spouse help a family member continues to have babies with no hope of being able to support those children. They lay around the house found nothing but waiting for the next paycheck to come. Even when help was offered to help them work and earn money with a small business and is turned down!

[@jeffdavis6230]

This is why some cultures believe in a dowry be given to the parents of the bride. Now a days though it comes across as the parents are pimping out the daughter. The bottom line is if you get married the fact is you are combining both families into one. Mutual respect would be helping both sides if possible. If you can't there should be no shame in that either.

[@Sarge57]

Parents aren't owed anything for raising a child. If a child wants to help when they become an adult that is up to them. My asawa's parents are deceased so I don't have the parental situation. However, my asawa has brothers and sisters who have asked for help. The problem is they ask for a loan but don't intend to pay it back. For some reason many filipino's act like my income is funny money and that I didn't do anything to earn it. Helping anyone is a personal decision.

[@andreww3621]

"Parents aren't owed anything for raising a child." This is a selfish American attitude. A culture that doesn't feel it is their duty to take care of their elderly parents later in life (If they need help) is broken. This is why there is no longer any sense of community in the States and people are alone. Your parents brought you into this world and sacrificed for the better part of 20 years to raise you, the least you can do is be decent and pay it forward.

[@izzyandcris8429]

@@andreww3621 you do pay it forward by being successful. That’s how you view your children. Not a retirement plan. Dork

[@Sarge57]

@@andreww3621 You are ignorant. Your comment is way out of line. Parenthood is not done so you get a reward later. The reward is raising children. That is worth more than the sacrifice they go thru. It is arrogant to think that raising children makes them responsible for supporting you as you get old. It would be nice if the children helped their parents but there is not duty to do so. Your comments about the US are rude and wrong. The problem with the US is liberals who raise their children without God or any ethical behavior. PS. Children may help parents if they desire. It is not and shouldn't be an obligation. I have many children and I guarantee I didn't become a father so my children would support me in my old age. I was smart enough save my own funds and live a great life in retirement.

[@datingdave1310]

​@@andreww3621 I help my elderly parents in any way I can - but they NEVER expect financial help!

[@BuddyNika]

I have helped my wife's family for 20 years, I love them all, what man would not help? Now, there is a limit, because my wife would have sent them all the money lol. But i have also helped to bring some of them to the USA also. If my wife had been American and the family needed help i would have helped them too. Luckily for them i am loaded....lol. Of course laziness makes all null and void. You Mia are a great Filipina like my wife, i can just tell.😘

[@ryanjones7543]

How old are you sir? Great of you to help. How was the process brining her family over? Over to become citizens?

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Wow, that's nice of you sir.

[@grandadan]

It's a no, of course not. Tell them to go and work and live on that just as we do. You marry a lady, not the whole family, plus it's the parents that are obligated to help their kids as they are the ones putting them here without asking questions first or using their brain to think twice instead of making kids without control like rabbits do.

[@HypnoticChronic1]

I flat out refuse to engage in any form of charity be it over there or here at home, it does nothing but dissuade a person from putting in effort or hard work and that can become endemic, I had to claw, bleed and risk my life for what I got, why the hell should I just hand it away for nothing? I mean if they managed to live just fine before I arrived, why should that suddenly change now that I am there? The short answer is it shouldn't and they are just acting like leeches and I refuse to abide nor enable that kind of behavior. If the family wants to work for a paycheck from me then that is a different story, in which case I have no problem paying a fair wage for a job well done. Rather than provide money what one should do is provide them knowledge and expertise to provide for themselves, as that old saying goes... give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats for life, one thing I also seem to find quite common among Filipinos is they do not know how to and or choose not to sequester money, they often tend to blow their whole paycheck on things rather than taking a portion of it and depositing it in say a high yield, CD's or IRA's and thus stay in poverty living paycheck to paycheck and likewise are unable to build generational wealth. As for advice for that one viewer you mentioned, I would say cut them off immediately full stop and if they don't like it to bad they screwed it up with their abhorrent behavior not you. If your wife doesn't like it and gives you grief for it especially after you explain your position and she still refuses to see sense, well my friend in that case I'd annul the marriage post haste and move on I am sure there is likely a better Filipina with a less toxic family out there for you.

[@DManGrand]

I don't think that the foreigner is obligated to help her family. However, she might feel obligated. In that case then she needs a job so that she can send them money every month. I think that a decent foreigner might help the family in an emergency if he has the budget to do so. However, some families here may have an emergency every month. Not good. LOL

[@lowtech67]

Its a complicated question, isn't it? The answer is, " it depends ". The answer is going to change from person to person. Myself? If they are trying, then I'd help them if I could. If its an emergency, I'd help them. Other than that, I wouldn't. IMO? If they want money from me because I'm dating their daughter much less marry her? No. I'm not renting or leasing their daughter. I'll move on right quick.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Good answers :-)

[@gotmesom]

Hey Mia, are you single? Willing to relocate to the US in Florida? You can still make videos here LOL. I'll take care of you.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

I'm happily married

[@wilkifrog6]

We (me and my wife) come first and if we have no

[@simplyArleneDura]

👍👍👍👍👍

[@davidagulay3545]

When you first started chatting with your foreigner BF, did you let him know that he would be obligated to support your family financially? The time for him to know what will be expected of him financially should the relationship mature is BEFORE he travels half way around the globe to meet you. Not disclosing these expectations beforehand is not the way to build a truly trusting relationship.

[@Dirtdevil1]

I heard her say.."If you can afford to help but you don't, then shame on you." That is pretty much her viewpoint right there. But I wonder how she asked him.

[@glock13100]

Why do women whom you just met at the airport,are willing to go full monty on first night,hard to resist,but suppose a noddle is an option,or go all in,and not in love yet,own choice,it could be a difficulty.

[@glock13100]

He married her,he must of known what she was like,or was it a blind marriege,captivated by his panse?

[@reggiecoleman4627]

From what I'm hearing that is the Filipinos culture that is not the foreigners problem she has to support her family that is her responsibility not the Foreigner but the responsibility remains with the Filipina what would she have done if she had not met the Foreigner So my answer is no it is not the foreigners responsibility

[@alessandroaste3796]

if my philipina girl friend want send money in philippine she need to work and pay all the biil of our italian family, and after, if there is some money left , she can send but not more then money that her siblings give; Not more then 2000 pesos for month;

[@matthewgraham2546]

Mia, if men are moving to the Philippines on seventy thousand pesos per month is not very much money, maybe they should just date. That being said I would recommend to give your wife her own account, separate from a joint account, with a monthly amount you both agree on for her to spend on herself or however she needs or see's fit. If she spends it on clothes or to be benevolent is her decision, keep your opinion out of it, this way you can avoid conflict. A traditional wife will have a traditional life, be a part of it. BTW you have a good vocabulary, I'm always interested in your perspective.

[@daveduffy2292]

Where does that debt end? It doesn’t.

[@robseward7732]

No im not paying i move on my parents raised me also other fish in the sea

[@timothytomblin]

I've helped my Filipina exes family in the past and don't really regret it. They never asked me for anything, not once. If a problem arises and I'm in the position to help, I'm willing to help. Some people are very selfish and greedy. You can see it in the comment section here.

[@Juice17408]

I noticed you said Filipino exes🤔🤔🤔 seem your not selfish or greedy just used

[@timothytomblin]

@@Juice17408 Filipino are men, I said Filipina. 😂 My ex had to work abroad like a lot of Filipina do, so I was the one who broke up with her. Not once was I ever used.

[@Juice17408]

@@timothytomblin why was she working abroad if your supporting her

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

Well good for you Timothy :-). Not all Filipinas can do such thing.

[@mytubeyou247]

My wife supports her Dad, Mom, 3 kids, her sons girlfriend, an orphan kid she had adopted and her granddaughter. She lied to me about getting a huge inheritance in the Philippines. I assumed since shes getting an inheritance she would be able to comfortably support and take care of all of them. Now she is prioritizing her family in Pinas first over our marriage, lying to me about taking care of our bills when in reality leaving us broke and in debt, sending the majority of her income to the Philippines. Tired of it told her i wanted a divorce. She moved out and I payed off debt she caused. Short 4month marriage. Processing divorce papers right now. 🙌😊

[@k9companion231]

Parents should raise their children to be self-sufficient and not pawn their children off to the highest bidder. Parents should also save for the future and quit using their children as retirement plans. A partner with money is not the parents retirement plan and must focus on raising their own household.

[@filipinalifewithmia5208]

In most cases, here in the Philippines, the kids are being used as a retirement plan for parents. Sometimes you will hear this conversation between the kid and the parent: "Please study hard so you can earn good money and build us a nice house and land". Of course, the kid will say yes.

[@havredave]

It's not so difficult. If you work, you eat. 'Work' has many different forms, and its value is up to the one paying for the work, however they pay for it. Do nothing? Deserve nothing.

[@stevew3196]

Personally I'd have no real issues with helping my partner's parents. My priority wouls ALWAYS be mu immediate family. My partner and our children which would include any children she may have when we met. Unlike many Filipino men who would NOT consider a 'relationship' with children by another man I understand she and her children are a package deal. My priority would be our welfare. I come from a humble background what I have in retirement I HAVE worked hard for. It's a fixed income I can't go and earn more. In supporting my inlaws I'd ask her sinlings how much of your income do you give to support mom and dad? 5% 10%? If I could afford it I'd offer the same %. I don't consider it my obligation I see it as a sign of respect. As for "buy my Brother a tricycle so he can earn money, pay my cousin's school fees, buy my sister a sari sari store" I'd say no. I've heard of Brothers going to husbands of their Sisters asking for "loans" because "I let you marry my sister aand you owe me." I think it's important to be open honest and respectful with the family from the beginning and make it clear what you are prepared to do and what you are not. If for example if my partner was working when we met and giving her parents 30% of her income then I'd take responsibility for making sure that continued. How, as a foreigner, we choose to deal with it is a matter of personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer.