Are You Still in the Trauma Bond?

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Inner Integration

Inner Integration

5 жыл бұрын

This video will show you 11 signs that you're still in the trauma bond. I'll explain the difference between Cognitive Dissonance and the Trauma Bond. You'll also get some tips to help yourself break the trauma bond to the abuser.
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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!
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📸Photography by Kelsey Smith Photography
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Пікірлер: 765
@beverlyhardy8323
@beverlyhardy8323 4 жыл бұрын
I never want to repeat a trauma bond with anyone ever again.....being self aware
@taykim39
@taykim39 4 жыл бұрын
1 emotional pulled into love bombing 2 still have hope for the future with this person 3 still defending the abuser to others or to self (justifying, excusing) 4 feel like there's no way out 5 you left but you feel stuck--constantly thinking about them 6 you hope for contact or accepting contact 7 you're helping people who helped you 8 you keep extending your trust to people who have betrayed your trust 9 can't cut out toxic people in your life--one leads to multiple 10 trying to reason and convince toxic people of their behavior 11 defending in my head, subscribed to their reality *stop putting yourself in relationships where you have to lower your self worth to be in that relationship
@KomalJhaOnline
@KomalJhaOnline 5 жыл бұрын
*FEAR* *Is* *The* *Glue* *Of* *TraumaBond* 🤘
@corsicanlulu
@corsicanlulu 5 жыл бұрын
fear, obligation and guilt
@dottyp137
@dottyp137 5 жыл бұрын
@@corsicanlulu fog :) so true.
@ndilaaamaquanxi2657
@ndilaaamaquanxi2657 5 жыл бұрын
Scared of the person who hurts u? ??
@fitandfabulous
@fitandfabulous 5 жыл бұрын
@@corsicanlulu The shame... fear guilt and my pride made me be abused for 20 years of my life. I turn 40 at the end of this month (August). My life isn't over. The milk spilled. I can't furure crying over spilled milk. I have to clean it up. My future is BRIGHT,🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 My BEST life starts NOW!! Good luck and all the best everyone. Don't let these demons win. No contact is the ONLY way to save your life!!💙💙🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@fitandfabulous
@fitandfabulous 5 жыл бұрын
@ The hope will break you. Holding onto false hope is crippling.
@mdaze9753
@mdaze9753 5 жыл бұрын
I am stuck. I no longer have a relationship with these people. I no longer want a relationship with these people. I see them 100% for who they are and what they have done to me. I am unable to move forward out of fear. So, I am still subscribed to their trauma bond. I need to learn how to love myself even though my first teachers in life abused me and taught others to do the same. One step at a time. Thank you, Meredith.
@dreamsarepurple
@dreamsarepurple 5 жыл бұрын
I am exactly the same, I feel like I get so far, then I go ten steps backwards.
@fionam3735
@fionam3735 5 жыл бұрын
M Daze me too 😕 x
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 5 жыл бұрын
You are infinitely worthy because you exist. You have the same right to belong and be loved as everyone else by the mere fact that you walk, talk and breathe.
@dottyp137
@dottyp137 5 жыл бұрын
totally relate....hope you're ok? I've just bought Meredith's book, maybe that will help? Can you see a therapist at all? Or book with Meredith maybe? I hear Pete Walker's book is also very very good, is it healing cptsd...I'm not sure of the title. I hope you're ok....lots of love to you xxxxx
@anitamartinez280
@anitamartinez280 5 жыл бұрын
Stay Strong everyone ! These are some strange people! The mother I knew has taken my son and gran daughter! I Hate these people that had me! I Hate these people that showed my son I was a bad person! I Hate this mother that wants my place and the love I had from everyone! I Hate her and I've come along way I always cried ! I cry less now! And better understand I don't want these people in my and my children's lives! Run fast and don't look back!
@unleashingpotential-psycho9433
@unleashingpotential-psycho9433 5 жыл бұрын
We must always get away from abusive people! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
@gangstalksurvivournarcsurv4257
@gangstalksurvivournarcsurv4257 5 жыл бұрын
ALWAYS!
@snyuki120
@snyuki120 4 жыл бұрын
And when the abuse people are your parents...
@IbarraAlejandro
@IbarraAlejandro 4 жыл бұрын
@@snyuki120 My case and i have no one to move out or home
@kittycat1302
@kittycat1302 4 жыл бұрын
Caitlyn Boston @ < how old are you? Hoping it won’t be long until you can get away,
@mandolaa4855
@mandolaa4855 3 жыл бұрын
Ι want to cry so badly. I can't because of quarantine...
@tawnytuppence5573
@tawnytuppence5573 5 жыл бұрын
Fridge is still running. I can’t wait for the deafening silence! Thank you.
@_gacha_karis_1047
@_gacha_karis_1047 3 жыл бұрын
“You’re still subscribed to their reality” - thank you so much for putting into words what I was feeling but could articulate. Yes! I kept arguing with them in my head long after things were over!!! Thank you for helping me so much!
@pjt3887
@pjt3887 5 жыл бұрын
I'm at the point where I don't want to interact with anyone. Afraid I might attack another narcissistic person. My ex husband and mother were the first wave.
@kari8187
@kari8187 4 жыл бұрын
PJ T it really blows but you’ll get through it, you will
@emilianolopez4289
@emilianolopez4289 4 жыл бұрын
​ I totally can relate with the feeling of apathy not wanting to trust anyone anymore, but this previous "training" (you never should have had in the first place) with the first narcissists in your life will give you "X-ray vision" to discriminate the good people from the bad in the future. I'm not saying you have to see your past abuse as some positive that prepared you for the future, but as something, you can do from now on to really protect your precious Self.
@elhadjdiallo633
@elhadjdiallo633 3 жыл бұрын
Like wise baby !!!! Alack of self love is the root cause of all suffering in this universe!!!!!
@a.j.4024
@a.j.4024 3 жыл бұрын
That’s why you need therapy to truly HEAL. Once you do the work and heal (which takes TIME), you will know how to recognize it and you won’t attract it. But you have to do the work with a real therapist, not just watching videos, etc and remaining isolated.
@mandolaa4855
@mandolaa4855 3 жыл бұрын
Same!!
@cw8290
@cw8290 5 жыл бұрын
I've been a year of no contact. I thought I was out of the trauma bond. But I definitely still feel stuck in the emotional hole and think about him all the time, even still find myself hoping for a second hoover attempt. I woke up with a gnarly dream this morning reliving the discard. Just finished journaling about how stuck I feel. This video was exactly what I needed today, like a sign. Thank you for what you do.
@andreasleonlandgren3092
@andreasleonlandgren3092 4 жыл бұрын
C W you are free now. Let go.
@NIKNAK1
@NIKNAK1 4 жыл бұрын
C W i’m at a year now and i’d just like an update on where you are now since your comment was done a year ago
@cw8290
@cw8290 4 жыл бұрын
@@NIKNAK1 oh WOW how much can change in a year. Well I spent last summer just working part time, hanging out at the beach and surfing nearly every day, did some art therapy (super enjoyable and helpful), read a lot of books about dealing with emotions and emotional intelligence. didn't date at all for a long time, just a ton of me time and being outside and exercising. Now ive been in a healthy/loving relationship for 8 months with a really good guy. I still have emotional flashbacks sometimes, bad habits from being raised by a narcissistic mother still come out. But he's been really patient with me and understanding and im working really hard still to work through the past trauma and not let it affect our relationship. Still in progress but im miles away from where i was a year ago. Now i'm thankful everyday for what i went through because i wouldn't have grown as much as i did, wouldn't be where i am now without it. It was a blessing in disguise, Trust the process!
@NIKNAK1
@NIKNAK1 4 жыл бұрын
C W i’m not doing so hot that’s why I asked... he just came back meaning he’s messaging on facebook... IG.... text... even wrote a legit letter.... he faked his death at the beginning of our relationship so my coworkers and most friends think he’s dead.... i’m worried he’s going to message someone or comment or something.... i’ll lose my job if they find out.... i’ll lose so many people.... he said he’s changed and wants to make things right.... i know i left him in a place where he wasn’t the victim and he wasn’t a hero... he just wants closure and a reason to blame me i know i can’t give him that but i’m scared of him.... i finally wasn’t on edge all the time... after a year i just took care of most of the consequences his actions left me with.... i can’t relax... im petrified.. last year around this time i was on a ventilator and in a coma because of him.... i just don’t know what to do...
@cw8290
@cw8290 4 жыл бұрын
@@NIKNAK1 i dont know, thats a lot worse than the situation i was in. The only way i healed was because the situation remained in the past for me. You cant heal when the wound still continues to get torn open.
@BigHeartNoBS
@BigHeartNoBS 5 жыл бұрын
I think I'm in a trauma bond. Recently I was in a relationship where I had to relax my boundaries in order to make it work. Never again. Thank you for making me aware. It's hard to see the truth, but I'd rather face it and heal.
@andreasleonlandgren3092
@andreasleonlandgren3092 4 жыл бұрын
Danielle Socha well said. You can keep the boundaries.
@casperinsight3524
@casperinsight3524 4 жыл бұрын
Relax my boundaries ...well said. I allowed my significant other to subtly violate my boundaries, at different times. Although I held firm on some and weak in others, I ultimately became lax with my own personal boundaries, self accountability and let myself down. Cigarette smoke gives me sinus troubles so it's a hard stop. I will pay the price if I bend this boundary so it's not worth it to me. Staying true to me across the board is necessary, Staying consistent keeps my well being protected. Boundaries keep me balanced, safe and loved 💗
@casperinsight3524
@casperinsight3524 4 жыл бұрын
I learned that compromising my boundaries is self betrayl. It's self abandonment. If the relationship doesn't work then it doesn't work, self sacrifice is not the solution. Accepting that he's not the guy for me, it's not a good fit is the reality.
@carolb3869
@carolb3869 5 жыл бұрын
I would also include: If you are ‘no contact’ (&/or safely away) and feel yearnings don’t be alarmed. This is part of normal healing. Go with it and allow yourself to purge these feelings. Stuffing them can be hazardous/disastrous leaving much unprocessed and inevitably back on the ‘to do’ list. I believe feeling these emotions is a way of honouring yourself 💙 honouring what you felt (not b/c they’re great - they are not). The seemingly genuine kind loving manipulation had you believing all was authentic. In my past experience, I thought the kind loving side of him was the real side of him, it was not! Key here: not acting on these emotions, just feel and release. This for yourself 💙 Care to all ✨
@InnerIntegration
@InnerIntegration 5 жыл бұрын
Yes feeling the emotions is necessary to heal them! “You’ve got to feel it to heal it.” The yearning for the abuser means the trauma bond is still intact and it’s important to recognize where one is in the journey in order to keep moving forward.
@fionam3735
@fionam3735 5 жыл бұрын
Carol Duncan wow I know what you mean by this genuine loving manipulation. It has me doubting myself as I grew up in a toxic family and what’s normal to me isn’t healthy!! I think is it me what have I done my poor kids I have no money or support but he has moved on with a new love and my parents as well that don’t talk to me anymore. I feel like I’m being puNished for something I can’t put my finger on. X
@hellogoodbye8760
@hellogoodbye8760 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent Carol. Yes, I still have bouts of these feelings.. Sundays are the worst for it as it was our time together... But now I just acknowledge the feelings are me missing that person I loved but also accepting that I can't love something that never really existed.
@lindayates1136
@lindayates1136 5 жыл бұрын
@@fionam3735 Ah my heart goes out to you and your precious kids and hugs and prayers.You did not do anything wrong your parents and ex did! I once wondered that myself but then I realized it was them not me.I pray for healings ans good normal people to come into your lives
@fionam3735
@fionam3735 5 жыл бұрын
Linda Yates thank you. May we all be enriched with positive healthy people that show us the way and become loving beings once again with the right people. This is my hearts desire for all of us that have been narcissistically abused and manipulated. ❤️
@littleredhen8205
@littleredhen8205 5 жыл бұрын
Interesting stuff. Slightly OT, I can't help but see the popular "Twin Flame" movement as a cult of trauma bond. Lots of cognitive dissonance there, hiding beneath an attractive facade of universal consciousness & unconditional love. It's fascinating the amount of mental gymnastics a person will do to keep getting their ego fix.
@brettblackwell2555
@brettblackwell2555 5 жыл бұрын
I would encourage anyone wishing to go no contact with a narcissist to contact a spiritual healer and do a cord cutting ritual. I competed mine with my narc mother and after, I felt no regret, remorse or guilt for cutting her out of my life. Its amazing for self healing,.
@coolcat3421
@coolcat3421 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds very interesting. Thanks for sharing.
@yourunclesimp1
@yourunclesimp1 2 жыл бұрын
Nah God would not condone that heathen act
@rebeccaliew2247
@rebeccaliew2247 4 жыл бұрын
Confession: This hard lesson resonates with a very recent incident, where I’ve to burn more bridges than I thought, in order to heal from a (narcissistic) trauma re-triggering. I went to a good guy friend for support & told him few times already that there are toxic people in our circle of friends. I completely went no contact with these toxic people when I discovered their narcissism. He was patiently supportive of me healing during that time. I was near the finishing line of Healing a.k.a. I was getting happier being ‘me’ again because there were no more narcissists to suck my soul dry. Recently, this guy friend held a surprise birthday party (my birthday was last week). Guess who he invited to the celebrations? The narcissistic friends I cut off ties with! To say the least, it was most stressful birthday I ever had. I never felt so helplessly trapped on my own big day, where I cannot be myself & felt compelled to put on a fake mask of nicety in order to cause no scene in a public restaurant, and give no further ammo to the narcissists to prove I’m the crazy one. I could smell the narcissists’ intention miles away when a couple bought a birthday cake for me - I knew the cake was a false ‘peace offering’, in hopes that I forgot the times they degraded my achievements, backstabbed me to other friends & guilt-trip me to spend money a lot whenever they are around. I admit it says a lot too, of my guy friend who thought very little of my troubles all this time; pining for people that are toxic because he knew human nature is imperfect (couldn’t he pine for healthy people?!); he don’t understand what narcissism is, thinking it can be fixed easily, especially since our narcissistic friends managed to pretend that they are ‘remorseful of their errors’ & that they reaching out to me to attend my party was ‘proof’ of it. Hard as it was, I sounded him off nicely & burn the bridges with my guy friend the next day, after I digested fully what happened at the party. Restarting the healing process again after someone you thought was a good friend who won’t betray you…I feel so stupid, lonely & distrustful of everyone now… but there’s a little faith left in me, I’ll be wholly healed one day soon (I’ll be moving overseas end of this month to start life on a clean slate), with no bullsh*t like that coming near me again.
@nicoleblotnicki
@nicoleblotnicki 5 жыл бұрын
Meridith...I caught myself being trauma bonded a few weeks ago when my ex contacted me and I was excited to see him. Just like you said, I hoped for the future after all the pain I'd been thru and the excruciating pain of the discard and thereafter. I was so upset with myself afterwards, I was nauseous I wouldnt eat for 2 days. I finally forgave myself and realized what had happened. You have taught me very much. I enjoy watching your videos so much. I'm still to this day bonded but I can see so much more clearly now
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 5 жыл бұрын
I’m in stage 2 and I am mostly being my authentic self. All toxic connections have been removed for 7 months now. My fear is subsided but I still have periodic flashbacks that are fear based and I occasionally fantasize about my abuser contacting me. I’m telling my story, my truth. I’m setting boundaries and speaking up for myself. I am leaning into my feelings now and accepting feelings that don’t feel so good and being curious about them. It is almost one year since I awakened and escaped. Your videos have been super helpful in my journey. Thank you for doing them. ❤️
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
Well done. 2 years of no contact later and lots of work on myself and yes there are flashbacks. But if i yearn for the so called good times i just remind myself that none of it was real. My narc groomed me for her own ends and the day i said no to her she unmadked her true ugly empty self. She could hardly contain her contempt for me. in hindsight i cud see that she only was nice to me because I could be of use to her in her profession and I bolstered her personal popularity. Its been a tough road but im happy mow surviving and getting on with my life. My one regret is tbat i fell under the spell and was so gullible.
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 5 жыл бұрын
@@cc-hk5ih Thanks for your reply. I've been strict nc for almost 8 months. My brain will sometimes cycle around to the illusion, but then I make myself remember the awful comments, and the contempt, yes I know all about the contempt. Mine showed her contempt for me the day I said no too. I will never forget how she looked at me in that moment. When ever I cycle back around to missing it, then I pull up that image and that helps get me through it and back to reality.
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
@@belovedchild9812 Well done its not easy. The lovebombing was beautiful but the day my narc unmasked herself will stay with me forever. The narc took pleasure in my devastation. Il be honest she almost broke me. But the image of that day will live with me forever. It was my wake up call and showed who and what i was dealing with. Its an experience that has made me re evaluate myself and to rebuild my independence. My foundations were shaken but its taken me two years to rebuild my life my confidence and to de programme myself. These videos were amazing and filled me in on exactly what and who i was dealing with. Im so glad I said no and got away. I just regret sharing my time and my heart with a person who was only out to use me. Ive gone on to shine to keep my genuine friends and finally too be confident and successful. As Frank Sinatra said the greatest revenge is success. Im no longer in the narcs shadow and moving on. Good luck
@HVSipos
@HVSipos 5 жыл бұрын
There are certain marks toxic people leave on their victims even after long they are being cut off and one of them is PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. When you mention flashbacks it's what comes to my mind. You might wanna seek professional help with possible PTSD as it is not something you might handle on your own. Most people think when they end a toxic relationship that's the end of it and very little times they realise that even tho the person is gone everything else has stayed with them. The very reason why often they end up with similar toxic people in the future. Knowledge is only half success. When you watch some videos that are posted often by ex victims if so they call themselves you often see a trace that is similar at each person that posts to help others. They often begin their video sounding professional until they are sucked back into where they came from just by talking about it and suddenly they lose track and become emotional and hurt again. At the end of their video they try to pull themselves together and try to sound professional and sane again but they lost it. That proves that they are not healed they are not recovered they are aware. And that's a huge difference. Being aware is essential but that's first step. Recovery when possible can take up to years of intensive therapy. Do not underestimate the damage that has been created unnoticed. Because you can try to pull through life while being half dead. PTSD is something that can cause one broken for the rest of their life. If you are already seeking professional help good for you! Best of luck with all!
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 5 жыл бұрын
H. V. Sipos thank you for your concern and for the information you provided. I am intensive therapy for cPTSD. EMDR, TRE and psychodynamic group for trauma victims. I intend to conquer this bitch.
@channelnewz7589
@channelnewz7589 3 жыл бұрын
"You're still helping those who've hurt you". I struggle with that one BIG time! I think the majority of us have become trauma bonded to social media, and to the system we all live under, too. We strive to be "approved of" and "seen" by people online... and although many people are waking up to the truth of our world right now-- many feel it is hopeless to turn things around. As a result, many WILL turn against anyone who keeps standing up and fighting back, and they WILL comply to whatever new "mandates" come our way. Be on guard, everyone, and take care of yourself, first and foremost!
@marissa816
@marissa816 5 жыл бұрын
constantly arguing in my mind...yes. how do i get through that????
@charmainedoherty93
@charmainedoherty93 5 жыл бұрын
Oh dear! I answered "yes" to 10 of the questions. This has been very useful. I suppose the trauma bond is deeper the longer you have been in the relationship - for me that's over 30 yrs of marriage, plus my mother, siblings all extremely toxic. My life has been a. nightmare. Thank God for these you tube videos, they're great support.
@jaredmello
@jaredmello 4 жыл бұрын
Charmaine Doherty yes I would think length of time definitely makes it more difficult, but not impossible
@charmainedoherty93
@charmainedoherty93 3 жыл бұрын
@Lindsey Brill ❤️
@ednao.n16
@ednao.n16 5 жыл бұрын
Well, I have been free for a few months now and I feel great. Nothing on earth can make me go back to the man that abused me so deliberately and with such pleasure. I am thriving and cant stop smiling and life is great. But it took a couple of years of intensive inner work to get to this point. In the end all of you reading this will break free. Keep taking those small steps towards your freedom. One day it will just click and you will be free 🤗.
@colourful_
@colourful_ 5 жыл бұрын
That is good to read!
@evonmorgan4487
@evonmorgan4487 5 жыл бұрын
You are heaven sent to me and I won’t stop repeating it. I’m at that point where I’m beginning to accept my role in this horrible 26 year relationship. I’m accepting that he’s a predator. I’m accepting that I was naive and tolerated many things hoping I could get him back and take revenge but I was too weak. In the process I lost myself or never really allowed me to grow. I’m struggling right now with letting go of the anger and strong desire to make him pay for ruining my life yet he gets to walk scott free. But I’m willing to put the work in and heal. This has to come to an end soon.
@robyndismon394
@robyndismon394 4 жыл бұрын
You will get there by taking small baby steps one at a time. This will happen organically over time. But be mindful, loving and patient with yourself. Peace and love.😍
@stephiedrown795
@stephiedrown795 4 жыл бұрын
Be kind to yourself. I'm in a similar position. Baby steps. Good luck to you. If you can, find another outlet, take up a hobby - walking or running, doesn't have to be costly. Devote the time you normally would give to negative thoughts to something else. Soon it will become easier to channel your energy away from the abuse/abuser, and into different, more positive areas. I wish you luck and strength. ❤️
@wickedwanderlust1602
@wickedwanderlust1602 3 жыл бұрын
I’m still struggling with this too
@elizabethhouser3357
@elizabethhouser3357 5 жыл бұрын
Your videos helped me accept my narcissistic mother knew what she was doing. Your right! It was visceral, liberating. I want to run out and get a cat! My Mom is deathly allergic to cats.
@themetamorphosisofgipsy
@themetamorphosisofgipsy 5 жыл бұрын
In that case, get two! 😆
@cynthiasarah4286
@cynthiasarah4286 5 жыл бұрын
Same!!!!
@yime6631
@yime6631 5 жыл бұрын
Elizabeth Howser, go all the way and open up a FULL BLOWN foster care for kittens and cats!! Even if it we're temporary. It depends on what you want to accomplish! 😉
@Zarasha1
@Zarasha1 4 жыл бұрын
I love Your comment. It made my day.
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
I think the day my narc dropped the mask and tore me to shreds was the day i woke up to the brainwashing. I was hoovered but on the last day we spoke i kept remembering how my narc had hurt me how our whole relationship was a lie. I could never go there again could never trust her again. It was heartbreaking and traumatic but i vowed that no one would do that to me again. I had supported this person been her friend helped her and defended her and stuck by her. I was perfect supply but when i started to think for myself and say no to her she unmasked her true ugly self. So I instigated no contact almost two years ago. My true friends stood by me and thankfully i took control of my life and emerged confident strong and independent. Breaking the bond took a long time particulatrly in my head but last christmas i encounteted my narc at a social event at an activity we both had shared. I got out there and excelled it was almost like a western movie when bad meets good. I realised i felt nothing that i was healed and that i had reclaimed my life and i had survived. The narc had no hold over me anymore. I saw i could never go back nor did i want to. It was amazing and awesome to have come from where the narc left me bruised and broken to this position of strength. Ive had to work hard on myself to heal and to break free. Its not been easy and my physical and mental health have been affected. But I am over it all finally and have learned a very valuable lesson. I will maintain my boundaries and protect myself from being so gullible in the future
@borealiswan2363
@borealiswan2363 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm at the same point, 2 years no contact. No wish to ever see him again. I like what you relate when having to face the narc ''I got out there and excelled''. I'm writing this sentence in my journal. This gives us hope we can get to that point of not being affected or destabilized by them. cheers.
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
Glad to help!!! Im so glad my words have inspired you. This channel Meredith and her followers have helped me so much. Surviving the narc experience is amazing but we owe it to ourselves to shine
@Cheeseman513
@Cheeseman513 5 жыл бұрын
My lord, duplicate what I’m going through. Stuck through her lies, cheating, physical abuse, being married, and she said she loves how loyal I am. What a crock. I’m a idiot
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
@@Cheeseman513 you aint an idiot just the opposite. The narc left me feeling that way. I was gullible and perfect supply. Manipulated brainwashed certainly but I congratulate myself in knowing in my heart of hesrts that something was not right from the start. I had the intelligence to act on this gut feeling and the minute I did my narc exposedvher empty ugly self and I woke up to the rotten reality of being sucked in by it all. Getting away going no contact reclaiming your life being true to yourself demonstrates courage and intelligence. Seeing through the narc and going no contact is tough but it shows them up as the toxic empty idiots they are.
@joansargent3735
@joansargent3735 4 жыл бұрын
Video is monumental, HUGE for me! Thank you. I’ve followed you off and on for 5 yrs. I went no contact in fall of 2015. I still remember being in a fetal position, sustaining daily attacks and I prayed for something to help me stay alive. It was 1 of your videos. It was you, Thank you Meredith.
@horizonanadyomene
@horizonanadyomene 5 жыл бұрын
years after first stumbling onto one of your videos, i can finally say i've gotten to the point where i think all of my trauma bonds have been broken. starting in mid 2018 i ended up working with the material on your website and reading The Journey, started REALLY working on my negative self-talk, came to terms with what i went through, and slowly raised both my standards and myself to a higher level. over the last few weeks i've worked on more art and music than i have in years. for the past three days i've woken up comfortable instead of depressed and anxious. it took a while but i made it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done, Meredith!! i feel like myself again. big hug back to you!!!!
@InnerIntegration
@InnerIntegration 5 жыл бұрын
Great job!! 🙌
@dragonfly1955
@dragonfly1955 5 жыл бұрын
Loyal to a fault is always a trait of mine. Not anymore! No hope what so ever, just hoping I never run into this creature ever again. Still working on the self talk, I’m in no response he’s reached out but nothing that deserved a response. No I miss you or I want to try again. I have to remind myself it is a blessing. I told him I would never give my heart again to him again after him walking away and I guess he believed it
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
This talk made me so happy 😊 it is what rumi was saying in his poem "the worms waking". I love how you point out that the transformation is spontaneous and almost anti-climactic, which was always the enigmatic part of the poem ("call it grace, whatever, something"), but now that it's finally happened for me after 44 years; i get it
@InnerIntegration
@InnerIntegration 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing that! 🙏 I love Rumi but I’d never heard that poem. Also a week ago today in my office I found a dead dried worm. It didn’t make sense how it got there and I knew it was a messenger. Now I’m going to reflect on this!
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
@@InnerIntegration ❤️
@michaellawrence1978
@michaellawrence1978 5 жыл бұрын
This is breathtaking, I'm going to put this poem on my wall, thank you!
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
@@michaellawrence1978
@julieannmaloney7187
@julieannmaloney7187 4 жыл бұрын
I know i still protect family members who sexually abused me
@EffieComfort
@EffieComfort Жыл бұрын
Over the years my appreciation for Meredith's content increases. I found her at the beginning of my healing journey. Her consistent and clear information continues to help me. Ms Miller is doing fenominal work that is helping us all make a better world, healthier life and an aware society. 💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
Yay! This feels like confirmation of what I felt... I have finally escaped the trauma bond 100% 😊 still in the beginning stages of building self-esteem for the first time
@Bellasafari
@Bellasafari 5 жыл бұрын
yes self-esteem and self confidence. There is only a cork in your bottle, hammered in by the disease. Shake that bottle and pop that cork!
@cc-hk5ih
@cc-hk5ih 5 жыл бұрын
Good luck it takes time
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
@@Bellasafari I love that imagery ❤️ I like thinking about what the bubbles I'm shaking up might be (higher power? Essential self?). lovely to think that I'm not alone in the struggle to "pop the cork". That I have a secret weapon 😊 I had been feeling like a moth wriggling for ages in a dark tight skin, at first not knowing but slowly starting to know what I'm fighting for. And now part of the skin has torn. The light and the air bursting in! And it's all confirmed - - I'm on the right path. I have to keep fighting til I can get out, let the sun shine hot on my crumply new wings as my blood pushes into all the new veins. Then, the first jump. It's really scary, and a lot of work left. but so much joy to know im on my way.
@Bellasafari
@Bellasafari 5 жыл бұрын
@@EB321 Yes! Moths are beautiful mysterious creatures! Fly Be Free!
@EB321
@EB321 5 жыл бұрын
@@Bellasafari ❤️
@koalamama2
@koalamama2 5 жыл бұрын
I just broke through! I went through the second stage when I got out of isolation by returning to school. At first it was terrifying, painful, and alienating being back in society, but after a few months I started to feel safer around others and more like my old self. As I let them in, and let me out, the cognitive dissonance started to break. Then recently, 'He' told me he had cheated on me again and relapsed again. A few days after that he was going through the come-down and tried to tear me up with almost 200 messages about everything that's wrong with me. Usually I would practically be taking notes in the interest of becoming a good person, but this time it was just so clear all of a sudden: it was ALL PROJECTION. I had never seen it like I did this time, bc I hadn't come this far through Stage 2 before. I could actually tell the difference between he and I now; I knew what was right and wrong, and what I wanted and didn't want. For the first time in my life I "hung up" on him (blocked him). Every day since then my life has been boiling over with miracles, synchronicities, and an abundance of new friends with so much in common with the Real Me.
@gangstalksurvivournarcsurv4257
@gangstalksurvivournarcsurv4257 5 жыл бұрын
Mee too, in this winter I get out of isolation and started to see healthy and kind people🤗, I stop fighting with them, and I got a small seller low cost job as street magazine seller.. 🤗✌️
@blessed74God
@blessed74God 5 жыл бұрын
@John Narayan Sounds like something I'd write. Glad ur finally done for real!!
@MetalGear570
@MetalGear570 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks again Meredith for this video! Yes trauma bond it’s very challenging...but the biggest challenge is letting go. It took me more than two years to realize how damaging can it be. Your so correct ,when the victim uses HOPE and giving TOO MANY CHANCES to the narcissist hoping they can realize their mistakes is useless and they will never admit their fault in any way. It’s a psychological warfare that can never be won...only to drive the victim insane. I can vouch for that cause I’m telling you by experience. Cutting up my looses was the best decision I had made and now I’m just beginning breathing fresh air. I’m still in the healing process and happy to conserve once again my inner peace 🙏 and strength 💪...
@cathyfraser6524
@cathyfraser6524 4 жыл бұрын
As usual, a fantastic video! I love the statement- “fear is the glue of trauma bond” ... so true!!! ❤️
@kjthawriter
@kjthawriter 4 жыл бұрын
Wow. I was emotionally in the desert of abuse... and this is becoming my oasis. Thank you for speaking to all of us, and for all of us. I have a ways to go, as I now recognize that I am indeed still trauma bonded, but I think that there might be sun on the other side of this mountain...
@mariacontreras2252
@mariacontreras2252 3 жыл бұрын
Groundbreaking. I am definitely 3/4 way thru Phase 2 AFTER 20 years of being so stuck. Thank you Meredith. You truly have helped me break through.
@mariepresho3653
@mariepresho3653 5 жыл бұрын
Big hug Meredith and u look marvelous in red. Great video
@amybeard2054
@amybeard2054 5 жыл бұрын
Speechless.....I think this explains what I have been dealing with. I have been attributing it to some deep soul connection, but more and more I think it’s a trauma bond. Thank you for your video. Hopefully I can finally begin to work myself out of this otherworldly connection.
@brokeneyes6615
@brokeneyes6615 5 жыл бұрын
I experienced a number of these but was absolutely floored to see how my family reacted, they had far more of these listed signs than I but I stuck to my decision. Saw a therapist, explained what I experienced and she agreed I had made the right choice and spoke to my family to explain properly and calmly what I couldn’t. I’ve traced back why I and my family had different yet similar reactions, unsurprisingly I unburied several skeletons on both sides and found connections going even further back that were regularly reinforced by the various churches the past three generations were a part of (i’m not saying all churches, just the ones my family were attracted to). Your right, I’ve realized the truth that you can’t go through life being codependent on people, ideology or community, you need to be able to stand on your own strength so you can walk away when needed. Going through that process is hell, but every step you take is a step further out of that hell.
@cherrybacon5154
@cherrybacon5154 4 жыл бұрын
You have given me exactly what I need to break through the pain barrier when that moment occurs, when I think about him at times, how to face the fear then take a breath and carry on. Thank you so much. I will watch this video again and again till I don't feel the hurt caused by the abuse. 🍒
@Glittergirl87
@Glittergirl87 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Meredith ❤️ This came right on time. I know I’m still trauma bonded to my recent ex covert Narc husband of 14 yrs.
@eliza1903
@eliza1903 5 жыл бұрын
Your intros are the best, most pleasant ones on KZbin.
@horserider6895
@horserider6895 4 жыл бұрын
This was life saving. Thank you a million times. You are a gift to people like me, God bless you!! This came at a time when I would have unthinkingly gone back to the original trauma bond, with my parents.. But I now chose the unknown angel over the known devil.
@czarinapineda2311
@czarinapineda2311 5 жыл бұрын
This really helps me assess my self. And yes, now i know that I’m still in trauma bond. It feels awful sometimes ,yet I’m defending him in my mind. 😞
@monty9619
@monty9619 5 жыл бұрын
This is just the stage of healing ur in. Everyday u stay no contact you will become stronger and your thoughts also. What helped me a lot is I replaced the vision I held in my mind for so long about he and I in the future. That vision is dead. I have visions of great goals for my life I'm working towards and praying towards now and it doesnt include him. This helped me to let go of the fake future. I feel like I still love him after all the abuse but I just do act on it. I think that is normal. I stay focused on a healthy future and stay no contact.
@openyoureyes...
@openyoureyes... 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Meredith. This is all so scary. You're incredible, and you're helping so many of us. Thank you. ❤
@lindy6094
@lindy6094 5 жыл бұрын
I'm hovering between the worlds...which means I'm still stuck! But I'm grateful to know that. I've cut out so many people but the relationship with my parents (the original bond) is still in my mind constantly and I feel very stuck. I'm not contacting them but I still occasionally accept contact and gifts...yikes. My mom knows how to reel me in with clothes and money because I have a bad habit of not spending money on myself for anything fun (including clothes that might spruce up my desire to leave the house). Then I think, awww she knows I need these and cares about me. Nope. She knows I need it so she can lure me back in. Through watching this video I was able to understand partially where I'm still holding myself back. Ill just keep working on self care in all regards, even if it means spending some money, and hopefully stabilize myself more. THANK YOU TRULY. I dont like the term life saver because I think people save their own lives (in most situations)...but you are a life giver, for sure. Giving to others so they can actually live again. ❣
@gateway4582
@gateway4582 5 жыл бұрын
Mothers really know how to play the guilt card. Dont fall for it.
@agu0nele
@agu0nele 5 жыл бұрын
I slowly start to feel nothing for my narc :) i'm in silent treatment after hoovering and I'm having the time of my life. I let him think that he hoovered me back but I just enjoy looking at this idiot jumping trough loops for me because he sees that I'm slipping out of his claws :) I feel relieved af
@Cheeseman513
@Cheeseman513 5 жыл бұрын
This video proves I’m a complete mess. She can cheat, lie, manipulate. I’m beginning to think it’s me. I know I play a part, but she tells me nothing she does now is good enough. Still something felt off with her. All she does is drink, and she lied about being married. I need my head examined
@Aww_ishaax
@Aww_ishaax 3 жыл бұрын
Mines is same we r worth xo much more imagine god pulling you out of there because you deserve so much more😊
@arvella
@arvella 5 жыл бұрын
🤯🤯🤯🤯 WOW!!! I’m literally going through this right now. I was wondering what was going on with me. Suddenly inspired and drowning myself in self help and improvements and actually putting into action with confidence while being kind and true to myself. Very unfamiliar feeling, but was rolling with it cause it’s way better than where I was going. Turns out I’m in the middle of stage two of breaking the trauma bond! Never have I related so a video so much. This information is INVALUABLE! Thank you for this, it’s going to make it even easier being more self aware during this process. Esp when it comes to letting go of my safe blanket and fighting with my ego for authenticity cause YAS PREACH. AMEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 so much gratitude 🥰
@arvella
@arvella 5 жыл бұрын
Also I am so reading your book!
@mmommo2025
@mmommo2025 3 жыл бұрын
Mine was so evil no one protected me because he had us all tricked. 38 years later I'm free now so happy I cry.
@ecwilliams777
@ecwilliams777 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. I'm trying my hardest to heal. Both my parents are imo narcissists and the damage they have done is sizable. I appreciate you. 🙏🙏🙏
@holly3503
@holly3503 5 жыл бұрын
Great video. I am in the process of letting go of my former self and living my life authentically, and I'm terrified. Especially these past few days after setting boundaries with my abuser's friends (his fan club). He has them all wrapped around his little finger because he chooses "friends" (flying monkeys) who have no money and then fixes their cars for free and things like that. So, not only are they loyal to him because they enjoy pointing the finger at a scapegoat (in this case, me!) but they also depend on him in a materialistic way. None of these people care that I left him because he strangled me, physically abused me in other ways and mentally abused me. The feelings that come up are that my only purpose is to be victimized by sadists and there is no way out. I'm on the verge of a panic attack. But writing this is helpful, staying in touch with my community is too. I choose to throw off the blanket of self-preservation in favor of true self-trust/worth/esteem/love, and I trust that even though the feelings that are coming up seem unbearable, I can handle them.
@mimilori6991
@mimilori6991 4 жыл бұрын
Always brilliant and spot on. I'm still in the trauma bond - but know that I have the courage to break it.
@cathichristian4142
@cathichristian4142 5 жыл бұрын
My narcissistic mother has passed away. When she was alive I did have to have no contact for four years until she agreed to stop her abusive behavior. However, when I resumed contact she started other kinds of abusive behavior. I was just about to go no contact again but she became very ill and passed. Problem solved? Not really, I have a lot of toxic shame and trauma. Where I have problems now is whenever I talk to anyone about the abuse most people make excuses for my mother and minimize the abuse. Speaking my truth has caused me to feel even more alone because I can't find anyone who understands or believes me. I've even had trouble communicating with therapists.
@shatabdipaul18
@shatabdipaul18 4 жыл бұрын
I am out of all the trauma bonds & have cut off the toxic people & making space for only the few people I can truly trust, love & respect with all my heart.
@gregoryalberts2503
@gregoryalberts2503 5 жыл бұрын
The greatest advice from you Meredith is that you must stand up for yourself. God, that is essential for life. It will always be a must. Thank you.
@michaellawrence1978
@michaellawrence1978 5 жыл бұрын
16:10 "And that means you have to balance yourself on this ride, and you can do it." Burst into tears. Thank you. Thank you for producing and providing such high quality content. Thanks for being one of the strongest voices of reason I keep floating back to during my waking up process. Most of all, thanks for helping to provide people with the keys they need to set themselves free and unlock their insides a little more - it's all the difference in the world. You are amazing and apparently so am I. Namaste.
@blueshoes915
@blueshoes915 5 жыл бұрын
I think I’m finally in stage 2! Just started therapy also. Very excited to move on and heal. Thank you for so much help to get me to this point. I still feel the long road ahead but am hopeful and willing to do the work. It took me about 5-6 months to get here but I’m here!
@samire.tarcheh9651
@samire.tarcheh9651 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Meredith for all the hard work you do to fight this epidemic! These toxic manipulative people should be exposed and their victims need to see those abusers for who they really are, so they can get the strength to get their lives back!
@fitandfabulous
@fitandfabulous 5 жыл бұрын
Meredith!!!!!!! You just saved a break with me right now. I was haunted with the desire to break no.contact and show up and get the rest of my things from his house that I left when I cut him off and went no contact. I was convincing myself...due to my trauma bond... convincing myself that I'm being weak because he gets to refuse to not give back my things because I'm weak. In reality...I was breaks ng and being weak and making EXCUSES because I missed him and at least seeing him...even though I've been strong for so long...I was ready and willing to break and throw away all my progress and I typed your name straight in my KZbin search. Why? YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!! I had NO idea why for 4 years I had the perfect relationship with my "soulmate" and primary school boyfriend and best friend who I reunited with after he had a failed 10 year marriage and I also had a 10 year relationship with the father of my kids fail. He came around out of the blue when the father of my kids...(who I had already left and moved out of our house with our two kids to my house to my own townhouse because he was an Overt Narcissist ( I know from research now) was dying of cancer). The father of my kids didn't like him at first... but he kept his mask on firm... mirrored me perfectly and he also won over... became friends with and got the father of my kids blessing and told my kids to love and respect him became we he was the ones for me (in the hospital..the day before he died). As soon as the funeral ended the mask didn't slip...he snatched it.off..threw it and broke it. The next 6 years were he'll. 10 years later (he was Covert...the devil's workers here on Earth with their dispicable jezabel spirit) Ones of your videos popped up recommended to.me from a follower. Strangest thing...I was listening to music...having what my 8 year old and I call " a dance party" and the title "Has This Ever Happened To You"? That video to the tee explained what happened and why my perfect man and relationship switched. I love and cherish you Meredith Miller. Thank you for blessing us with free healing. I need councelling but I cant afford it or not and the time to get it because I'm a Personal Trainer who runs a successful 8 year business ( as of last year Valentines Day😀👍🏾💪🏾💪🏾💙. However making sure my two daughters can feel comfortable and not worry as they learn grow and strive to make their own personal lives complete...happy and satisfied...I hAve to work 6 days a week at whatever times my clients want and make sure I'm present and available for my two blessings. I wish you only success and blessings. You are saving our lives. One unsuspecting... empathetic... sector B personality disorder victim at a time. #SpeakingMyTruth #StillFightingTheTraumaBond #StrongerThanIUsedToBe #IWon #NarcissticAbuseSurvivor #BlessedAndGrateful #FinallyFree #Healing
@dant6542
@dant6542 3 жыл бұрын
I recommended this video to a friend today, because of how much it help me understand what had happened to me and how to get out of hell. It really works. This gave me an opportunity for another listen today. Well done Meredith, in nailing down under 20 minutes, simply, clearly and directly, the survivor's ultimate guide on the journey conquering her own mind, heart and soul.
@11thsm
@11thsm 5 жыл бұрын
Dammit. When will this end. I’m learning self love but it doesn’t seem to matter!
@savedbygrace5422
@savedbygrace5422 4 жыл бұрын
Wendy Smith it will end just keep tight have faith iN God and yourself, nothing last forever!
@holdmie4ever
@holdmie4ever 3 жыл бұрын
Try guided meditations regularly, its very effective. There are a lot of "guided meditations" here on youtube, search for the channel of Pura Rasa titled " how to let go of someone ...forget the past". Or guided meditation for cutting ties with toxic person...First learn how to meditate also available here on youtube. This worked for me, im sure it will also work for you...
@tigermagda
@tigermagda 4 жыл бұрын
Three months after leaving I descreibed to a friend I realized I was into a sort of Stockholm Syndrome. I had no idea what narcissism was. This channel is a public service.
@Destinyprojects4
@Destinyprojects4 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you is not enough. You have been my greatest healer in human form.
@pennywitteman8753
@pennywitteman8753 5 жыл бұрын
Ive been watching narc videos for 3 weeks and I learned so much more in this video then any other.
@susanjaneterry1073
@susanjaneterry1073 2 жыл бұрын
Woo-hoo! I made it through. Well, almost. I'm here, again, watching these videos. But as each number rolled off, I saw it in my rear view. For me, the trauma bond came as a complete surprise. It was horrible. It passed when I realized that these were just feelings. My feelings. That came rushing at me like a flood. Now the waters have receded, and I am past the trauma, the nightmare is over. But with so much work left to do, I see that I'm at the starting point, not the finish line. That's ok. Starting over is ok with me today. Thanks.
@brandystuart9520
@brandystuart9520 4 жыл бұрын
One of the best trauma bonds I have seen so far. I am just beginning to love myself more than my abuser.
@Lola-mt1ne
@Lola-mt1ne 5 жыл бұрын
Ditch the training wheels! Well put.
@leahb.mathis5727
@leahb.mathis5727 5 жыл бұрын
I had my spontaneous moment last weekend! I'm so happy to have words to describe it now! Something just clicked.. I'm definitely feeling sort of wobbly, standing with my authentic self and this kind of new honesty I'm having about everything, especially my part in the journey, but I feel strangely empowered...kind of a" truth will set you free" moment ❤️ It's weird, it's difficult to explain...its like, like the IV of poison that has been coursing through my mind and body for years has suddenly been shut off, and things are starting to appear clearer and brighter, including the hard stuff about being authentic, but the beautiful stuff too! It's crazy! I NEVER thought this would come, but I have been doing a lot of work for a few years now and it's an amazing feeling to have this moment of clarity, and dare I say it, hope? I can't believe I'm saying this, I really can't, but I think I'm actually entertaining the idea of being free, free from the bond and the suffering that has been happening for 8 years. I have been doing my best to make this whole experience a learning and growing opportunity, and it's been very hard and very maddening for a very long time. I'm incredibly grateful for this moment of respite from the constant ache and enjoying this feeling the "spontaneous moment" has brought me. I don't quite know exactly how to explain it...but there's a sense of relief I haven't felt in many years. Ahhhhhh.....❤️
@InnerIntegration
@InnerIntegration 5 жыл бұрын
Amen!! Great work 🙌
@BrotherTree1
@BrotherTree1 5 жыл бұрын
I think that on top of self-acceptance, another good sign of the end of the trauma bomd is that you no longer feel hatred towards your abusers but rather you start to pity them or start to feel sorry for who and what they've become, and also better handle similar abusive personalities in the future. That to me, shows how much stronger you've become and that you're more at peace at life than your abusers are.
@shaniecegullison
@shaniecegullison 2 жыл бұрын
Holy shi******** That's been me for the last 8 days Yes I never thought of it that way I do feel pity and sympathy to him after the brutal horrible discard It was hell He brought his friends over and they literally threw me into the porch and were beating on me and literally almost broke my neck I was very hurt , very angry,very betrayed I left and am staying with my sister I feel complete and utter pity that he is so miserable he needs to ruin other people My mind does not work this way and I should be very angry at him I mostly feel pity If that makes sense Im a bit of a mess but wow your comment is so relatable
@SarahGreen523
@SarahGreen523 5 жыл бұрын
Every single video of yours that I watch helps me move forward in some way. You are my candle in the darkest night. Thank you.
@girlpower7329
@girlpower7329 5 жыл бұрын
Cheers. I have completed one year of no contact today. And your videos have helped a lot. The world needs more of people like you. 😊
@janetjones5087
@janetjones5087 3 жыл бұрын
Thankyou for this, i feel like I am fighting my own demons, after 17 years of mental and physical narcissistic abuse im just at the beginning and fighting for all my worth. Im so traumatised but im hell bent on freeing myself from this monster and taking it one day at a time, learning to keep him at bay and hopefully get stronger.
@falkonladi8
@falkonladi8 5 жыл бұрын
This came up in my feed at a very poignant time, Meredith! Every point you made just really resonated with me and ALL of those things are exactly what I see and love how well you lay it out❣️👌 Your help is invaluable, just like others sharing on this have been talking and trying to help, but this one is shocking and helping all at the same time👌💓
@user-gc4zy5tl2b
@user-gc4zy5tl2b 5 жыл бұрын
WOW! This is one of the best & most thorough videos on trauma-bonding I think I have ever seen! Well done!!
@ripshannon
@ripshannon 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for connecting all of the dots for so many people. I'm never going back!
@hklplata4
@hklplata4 5 жыл бұрын
I listen to all your videos and you are helping me tremendously.
@CynthiaSchoenbauer
@CynthiaSchoenbauer 5 жыл бұрын
This is so good as a breakdown of this almost invisible reality we live in called the trauma-bond. It must be our attachment reflex that keeps us stuck without knowing our options. I also like the idea of secondary benefit which is our excuse to stay in the trauma-bond but which will never be worth it. These are complex social and psychological principles. I will need to go back to your book "The Journey" to put all these new ideas into a context. I see I am still in the trauma-bond with my father. I just keep thinking he will come around. But I do think I am breaking the bond with my siblings and I am moving through stage two. I need to feel the pride of accomplishment of moving through these stages. Thank you for another meaty video, Meredith!
@hayleyparker2807
@hayleyparker2807 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear.. I finally found my core soul wound this week and this video just put all the puzzle pieces together for me.. 💕
@meb8743
@meb8743 5 жыл бұрын
You're really great at what you do. Great videos. Thank you. We need more therapists/drs like you.
@dottyp137
@dottyp137 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Meredith. You are looking very beautiful xx Just bought your book, really looking forward to reading it....I'm a lot better than I used to be...but still some work to do....thank you so much for all your guidance over the last few years. You were the first person I encountered on my discovery and subsequent healing of narcissistic abuse.....and I am eternally grateful to you and all your hard work. I'm on my laptop so no emoticons to leave you hearts :) xxxxx
@ellakennickell5842
@ellakennickell5842 5 жыл бұрын
Wow! I've never heard someone bring it all together like this. You're depth of insight is phenomenal. It's going to take me awhile to unpack it all, but this is truth.
@Lysa_Lynn
@Lysa_Lynn 4 жыл бұрын
I have been in it for almost 15 years off and on and he has discarded me again because I told him the other day when he was out with a friend that I didn’t trust who is was actually with. My trauma bond is very, very bad. So, bad that when he abandons me, he is in my dreams almost always. The dream may not be about him, but he is still present within the dream. Thank you for this video
@debbyseguin7131
@debbyseguin7131 5 жыл бұрын
Wow. 100% accurate. 100%. I have just gotten past the last of the 11! But when I look back, I see every one of these. It's a battle for freedom for sure. I am finalizing my divorce after 33 years and feel his discard about to happen. I've prepared for this really my whole life!
@KarinMYearwood
@KarinMYearwood 5 жыл бұрын
another awesome video.Thank you! this supports the theme of acceptance I've been running on my blog. it really all starts within. it truly is the hardest part though. Especially for people like myself who come from the narcissistic family. those family wounds run deep. but so very thankful to have supportive people (people in the comments) to help me along the journey.
@ignatiusequality9239
@ignatiusequality9239 5 жыл бұрын
Wow! This was a powerful video. Thank you Meredith for sharing your hard-won wisdom with us. For me, I have nearly obliterated my trauma bonds (I still get upset at the unfairness of my traumas); I have been doing some self-led Internal Family Systems therapy-work, which also focuses on releasing the false self and establishing the true self as my guiding force. After listening to you, my heart is full of hope for that moment you describe, when I can definitively step into my authenticity and away from fear. Much love to you for your fearless work in enlightening the rest of us ❤
@cherirish53
@cherirish53 5 жыл бұрын
This video was extremely helpful to me. I realize I am right at the position of choosing my authentic self and letting go of my false self! I chose your video at the perfect time!
@fionam3735
@fionam3735 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you love and thanks for being such a support to all of us who have been abused 🙏 x
@og6920
@og6920 5 жыл бұрын
I've been in need of this video for a few months now. I'm out of a relationship with an "aging narc" (he really did seem to get worse with age) and wondering why I'm -- a generally level-headed person -- still suffering from about half of the above-mentioned signs of trauma bond. Trauma Bond! I'm so happy there is a term for it because now I understand my suffering. Thank you so much. Subscribed! I feel mostly healed but now I know why I still have some bad feelings and I'm getting clearer on how to get past the damage he did. I've even begun to love myself. I'm sorry there are so many people in this position. Hugs to you all.
@Venus-xc2cf
@Venus-xc2cf 5 жыл бұрын
This is an incredible video Meredith I am grateful for everything you do. I am very new on my journey. I have a narc mother, left my narc husband last year after 16 years. I have found someone new who is abusive. I am so grateful to hear your words today, I was defending him. Thank you so very much for helping me. I'm sending you a big hug😊
@ruby-qv5bd
@ruby-qv5bd 5 жыл бұрын
Awesome video in so many ways. This is so good. My mind is opening up on a huge level. It's scary, very scary, but I can't take it anymore. Thank you!
@joyjewell9486
@joyjewell9486 2 жыл бұрын
3 weeks into no contact and watching this shows me I'm not far enough away yet. I feel guilty, selfish, ect. But as uncomfortable as those feelings are, Id rather feel THAT than what my "mother" says to me. This stuff is hard, warrior worthy!!
@holdthatblaow
@holdthatblaow 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. I didn't know there was a name for what I am going through. I don't know if I'm ready to let go yet but I'm working my way there. You nailed it, the new is scary.
@perfectlovenofear8060
@perfectlovenofear8060 5 жыл бұрын
I'm sure your channel is the clearest and most to the point on the narc subject. This video is the very best so far... And I'm in this now!!! Thank you! Love!!!
@desiderata333
@desiderata333 5 жыл бұрын
You are a God send. I am blown away by this video and am taking notes as I take everything in. Thank you from my heart.
@rainbows9060
@rainbows9060 5 жыл бұрын
This has just unlocked so much for me, thankupu so much Meredith, sometimes I think you are an angel without wings, and rightly so. I'm sharing this with a friend as I think it may really interest her.i think I need that book in my life too.
@namesalltakenWTF
@namesalltakenWTF 4 жыл бұрын
This is absolutely amazing information. It’s like your words are stitching up some emotional wounds. Great video!
@perr5544
@perr5544 5 жыл бұрын
thank you , entering stage 1 last month , feeling lost, but hearing this lifts me up and make me see how this works, and the changes that will come with it. the fear i carried and dominated my whole life slowly takes form and makes me act towards freedom and transforming my life 40 years after the abuse.
@LoveDianeBE
@LoveDianeBE 5 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this this morning. Thank you so much. You’ve helped me so so much!! Please keep the videos coming!! 🙏🏻♥️
@hhoward14
@hhoward14 5 жыл бұрын
Brilliant video Meredith. Thank you for your kindness and understanding...
@aliciabergman7276
@aliciabergman7276 5 жыл бұрын
This video had so much meaning for me. Thank you Meredith! I am learning so much about myself and the trauma caused by a family member from your videos.
@elizabethannshealthyliving6970
@elizabethannshealthyliving6970 5 жыл бұрын
Wow... Thank you Meredith. Your videos are always so timely and so incredibly on-point. Thanks for the reality check!
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