Art school life with schizophrenia - Burn out and not meeting my own expectations in my art 🎨❤️‍🩹

[@Candace-u6l]

I wish I could give you my dishwasher lol I don't use it but to store dishes because I don't have enough cabinet space. I have a kitty cat, too. He likes to open the bottom cabinet and get inside. Your painting is wonderful! It was my dream to go to art school! Congratulations! Remember to just be you and it will all follow. We can be our worst critics sometimes. Cheers!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you, my cats love opening the closet doors for me. 😂 Have a great day and thank you for the support! 🥰

[@Hypatia350]

Yes, we like watching you talk! That is why we watch you 😂. I dont like hearing myself speak either - it's pretty common.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰

[@orangepulp392]

Burn out is hard to deal with I’m getting the exact same on my course! I guess we just got to remember to take breaks and not overwhelm ourselves! Loving the art school vlogs 😍

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! Im hopefully resting this entire weekend. 🥰

[@annemcelroy6668]

I meant "countertop dishwashers" in google on last comment post

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! Sadly I can't afford one, the other dishwasher my landlord was going to pay for and just add a small fee every month on my rent... 🥲

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

Hej Kimberly. Normally I have a lot to say. I think you need to take some rest. Like, sleep the weekend away. Maybe get some exercise if you can. Fatigue can be hard on your mental health. Take care of that first. Don't make yourself sick. I've done it myself. Reaching the balance between rest and productivity is hard to do, even harder when juggling a mental illness. I'm rooting for you. -Gardner

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Gardner! I plan on resting this entire weekend and I hope the fatigue will lessen soon. 🥰

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria Our boiler died this spring. No hot water for 90 days over the warm months. We are campers so we managed, and have a new heat/water system now :) Jane got us those body wipe towelette things. Handy for a quick swipe on the pits and other roguey bits :) Also the "dry" shampoo in a bottle. I keep witch hazel in a spray bottle for touch ups in personal undercarriage areas lol. We kept telling each other that we couldn't detect any b.o. on each other, but how would we know? lol The witch hazel is a pro tip btw. Jane hates the smell but it works good for me. It's great for itches anywhere.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@engleharddinglefester4285 Thank you for the tip! No heated water for 90 days sounds awful, I love my hot showers. lol. 😂

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria Back in school I would walk into the main building lobby and you could smell the people, no lie. Hundreds of people milling around. Some people, myself included, sweat a lot and give off a chemical odor when using ssri anti-depressants. It was unreal, so many people using meds. School is hard, no doubt about that, for a lot of people. It goes with the territory. One friend said to me about college, "Don't do it!" lol Srsly. Frankly I'm thinking you are not outside the range of normal at this point. It can be hard, and a slog. The struggle is real and you're not alone. Just don't make yourself sick there, bud.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@engleharddinglefester4285 sadly I already have it seems… have been home this week and are having a meeting with the teachers soon since I have been experiencing some symptoms again. I’m taking my emergency medicine right now but I hope it will calm down soon but I might need more accommodations in order for me to continue… 😓💚

[@barbarahenninger6642]

I took a drawing class last summer. It was a lot of work and I almost gave up a few times, but I kept in and was able to do all the work. All my classmates made it through, and our teacher was so happy he cried. I think he was worried about us, but we pulled through. :-)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

That is awesome, thank you for sharing! Happy for you that you did that. 😍💚

[@Agnes_B96]

I love these cozy art autumn vlogs❤ 🍁🎨

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you!! 💚😍

[@_enjjeh_]

change can be exhausting in the beginning. but you will manage that and find your balance sooner or later.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I really hope so! 🥰

[@PhoenixFeathers]

I hope your school knows about your needs and that they are willing to accommodate you ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@PhoenixFeathers they do! We’re so far checking to see if there’s anything I need support with 🥰💚

[@PhoenixFeathers]

@@Kimberly_Viktoriaah that’s great!! Keep listening to your body and your feelings ☺️

[@mikkosuhonenphotography]

Sorry about the dishwasher. It's so tiring to have to wash dishes by hand all the time, I know. After I got a dishwasher, I started to clean more around my apartment. More time for other things I guess. 🤔

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Yes exactly, That was also my thinking. I wish I could move now but can't afford that either sadly... 🥲💚

[@mikkosuhonenphotography]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria There are small dishwashers that can be put on the table. If you have space on your sink table.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@mikkosuhonenphotography There are but sadly I can't really afford one right now, the big one my landlord was going to buy and just add a small fee on my rent every month... 🥲

[@dalefrank3713]

You make very nice vlogs, good for you for going back to school, must be quite challenging to do with having to deal with whay you have going on, woshing you good luck in your atudies

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🤩💚

[@thelonglines]

For what it's worth I can't stand the sound of my own voice. That potato casserole looks delicious by the way.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and yes, same here! 🥰

[@roberttravers7587]

Great vlog!😁😁

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰

[@simonedutch558]

Hello Kimberly, I hope you get the rest you need. I wish I could draw and paint and be brave to even start. I think you are so talented, don’t be disheartened ❤ I’ve watched a YT called Soonie Soonie and I’m not sure where she got it but she has a small portable dishwasher in her apartment and it looks amazing 🎉 maybe u could try and source one like hers. ❤ I love watching Bob Ross paint, I’m sure you’ve heard of him but I find him so relaxing. I wish you a beautiful weekend and a very relaxing one too ❤❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words. 💚 I have looked at a countertop dishwasher too but I can't afford one currently, the dishwasher they looked at now my landlord was going to install and I sadly have to buy the countertop dishwasher myself If I want one.. 🙃 But it was a great suggestion. 💚

[@PhoenixFeathers]

Sorry but Edward’s scratching and kicking cracks me up 😂😂😂

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@PhoenixFeathers haha me too 🥰😂

[@chezzamaes6134]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

"... good morning i feel... dead" lol

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

😂

[@dianespacil1]

Blessings, Kimberly. Would a ketogenic lifestyle be of interest to yourself?

[@dianespacil1]

Excuse me if someone has asked before! Metabolic healing for extra energy?

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@dianespacil1 Hi, i have already tried a ketogenic diet, lost some weight but didnt really improve otherwise.

[@deegee787]

Hi Kimberly ❤ I loved your artwork. You’re so talented. Please get enough rest. You’re doing amazing. Personal question. Do you eat carbs. I’m on quietiapine with insulin resistance. They said no carbs, fruits or sweets. But how can I live like th. I feel helpless dear.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hi, Thank you. ❤ I do eat carbs like normal but I also don't take olanzapine anymore. But I have found that restricting pasta and bread in some instances have been the easiest. And then slowly incorporate the other things like removing fruit and so forth. However I have heard that exercise is just as good for insulin resistance, so if you can maybe go for more walks or exercise? Just a thought. ❤

[@deegee787]

@Kimberly_Viktoria Thanks so much for your advice. I don't exercise. It's so hard to find the motivation. That's great you don't take Olanzapine anymore. May I ask what you take. You function well so that's great 💜

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@deegee787 No worries! I currently take Cariprazine everyday and Haldol sometimes when I need something extra. 🥰

[@deegee787]

@Kimberly_Viktoria Oh ok that's a new one I just looked up we have here in the USA too. The reason I am now on Seroquel is for antipsychotic but also sleep. I feel so helpless about the weight gain and metabolic syndrome. You must not have any issues with sleep. I developed a sleep anxiety after my last psychotic episode 2 years ago. I think I told you I lost my hair. I have so much sleep anxiety that its causing me an overactive bladder so I restrict my water to only up to 8pm. And by midnight or past I still have to keep peeing. And I have to wean off a medication called Clonazepam which is a benzodiazepine and very addictive. I've been on it 2 years and my psychiatrist is really upset and wants me to wean myself off. I was using it originally for sleep but it stopped working and I just kept begging her for it but can you believe the Seroquel (quetiapine) is not enough to make me fall asleep. I think I'm getting so much withdrawal from Clonazepam. It's so difficult. You don't have bipolar too right. Because I have bipolar and am too scared to take Lithium. I'm very resistant to taking new meds if I have a new psychiatrist they won't even put up with that. I feel so helpless.

[@deegee787]

@Kimberly_Viktoria sorry such a long comment. You're such a nice, polite, beautiful person that I feel comfortable with ❤️

[@ullaskoglund9926]

💚🤎🍂! 💪💪💪

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

🥰💚

[@marthomas851]

How did you get on with the dry shampoo? Xx

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

It was very good! Stayed well into the evening. :)

[@marthomas851]

@@Kimberly_Viktoriagreat! I tried one but it turned my hair almost like straw it was awful lol hope you are relaxing and feeling peaceful ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@marthomas851 Oh wow so sad to hear that! :( Thank you! Im currently spending some time cleaning and resting in-between. 💚🥰

[@expendablezpro2517]

Are u making friends at your school?☺️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I'm not sure id call them friends quite yet but we're all friendly towards each other. 🥰

[@alistairreed3514]

you can paint me if you want

[@gypsyskyy9451]

Hi Kimberly! Sounds like a bit of a slump, but Im sure you will get out of it soon and be back to your usual self. Glad you are taking breaks, and taking care of yourself, just don't be so hard on yourself! I know its hard to take it slow with learning new things as we have high expectations but you are definately talented! I love your kitties! Sorry about not being able to get a dishwasher! UGH I am still in my daily slump, talk about going slow and being tired (from what I dont know), but I did manage to sketch one thing in my sketch book, thanks to your encouragement! It's sitting on my coffee table for a few days, I just need some motivation to get bck to it. It really bothers me that I really WANT to do things, and yet this constant fatique and depression is like a huge rock around my neck. I drink a lot of tea too. My daughter loves Earl Grey, but I cant get used to it. It tastes like medicine to me, LOL, so I drink my usual black tea with a little bit of plain almond milk. Have a great weekend, relaxing and I also loved the music. Thanks for putting the name of it on your screen! I need to get back to meditating, that was so soothing. Take care! Hugs . . .🤗💚🧡💛💜🤎

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Mary Ann! Yes it feels like a slump, I just hope it's a small one... So glad you sketched a little, I hope you'll get back to it too when you have the energy to. Have a great weekend too and sending you a hug too. 🤗💖💚