Schizophrenia is ruining things again, but I'm not giving up yet...

Hi!
Just an extra video with mostly an update on studying with schizophrenia, sadly I have started experiencing psychotic symtoms again but i'm not giving up quite yet.
Love you so much! 💚
Business contact: [e-mail]
#schizophrenia #livingalone #vlog #dailyvlog #scandinavia #mentalhealth #livingwithschizophrenia #mentalhealthvlog
Equipment:
Camera: iphone 13
Editing software: final cut pro
Thumbnails: canva, procreate
Music: epidemicsound or youtube studio
www.epidemicso...

[@PhoenixFeathers]

Your illness doesn’t take away one bit from your worthiness and beauty inside and out!! Take it easy… the art school won’t ever be the only way for you to evolve in your art. Try not to put pressure on yourself ❤ Take good care of you 🥰 Vlogging is art too!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥹💚

[@maliniwales]

Hi - I have schizophrenia too and I know all those struggles. I have trouble keeping my place clean and cooking and doing other stuff also. Luckily I have a cleaner that helps me for 2 hours a week and I am studying a degree also but I do it part time. I also work part time (2 days a week). I wasnt able to do a degree in person in uni but I found I was able to study a degree by doing it as home study (distance learning) - all options to think about. Best of luck with your journey

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! Its so hard to get everything to fit together... Wishing you a great week! 🥰

[@sophcw]

Sounds really positive that you were able to recognize the symptoms before they got out of control! And you were so proactive with taking steps to make a plan for what to do. Honestly, as someone with just depression, anxiety and insomnia I struggle with some of these executive function and self care tasks as well. I hope things improve soon

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰 I hope you're doing well! 🥰

[@thelonglines]

The biggest thing I have learned with regards to mental health is that there will always be unexpected things that happen that set you back. The key is to exercise self-care so that you can bounce back, which you seem to be doing. You can get through this!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰💚

[@Des-f1j]

I deeply admire your strength and attitude. Thank you for your openness in sharing your experiences.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰

[@louisatanner7746]

Lovely to see you again. Hope you manage to find a happy medium with art school and the rest of life. There’s no shame on doing life the way that suits you, even if it feels like you’re not keeping up with others. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m neurodivergent and have schizoaffective disorder and that’s why my life looks different. But I still find myself at times wishing I could just do things how everyone else does! Sending love 💜

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you! I can really relate to what you write, wishing you could do things the way most people do. Sending you some love back, thank you for your lovely comment! 💚

[@deegee787]

Hi dear. I’m heartbroken to hear how you are feeling. I’m so glad you caught the symptoms earlier. Hopefully, you can feel better soon. You’re blessed with a supportive family as well. I hope that you are able to continue part time in school. That would be amazing. It’s good you are up to doing a little cleaning and walking. Please rest as much as you can. Since making YT videos brings you happiness maybe you can just film a little here and there and edit when you feel a bit better. I’m praying so hard for you. You’re a huge inspiration to me. You might recall me from our short little convos under your videos. I understand your difficulties 100% as I live with severe Bipolar 1 Disorder with psychosis. Enjoy your little treat you bought yourself. Sending lots of love and prayers from USA ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! Im not giving up yet on art school, I just need some time to rest, which im doing. Im so glad I have a support system too. Sending you a hug! 🤗❤‍🩹💚

[@deegee787]

@Kimberly_Viktoria Yes dear, never give up! You got this! Just rest and recuperate ♥️ Sending you a big hug as well. Keep us posted if you are up to it. Sincerely, Dipa 🤗

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@deegee787 Thank you Dipa! I will. 🥰💚

[@cynthiahurlburt2819]

You are a blessing. Cooking is an art. Your soups are always healthy and colorful. Your kitties are fun entertainment, bringing laughter and joy. Autumn is so artful with it beautiful colors, changes, and crispy temperatures. Rest and enjoy today. Tomorrow is to come and yesterday is gone .Hugs and l ❤ ve.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much Cynthia! 🥹 This was a very poetic comment in my opinion! 🥰🍂

[@natas12rm]

It’s rough. I feel you. Yesterday I was surrounded by street theatre. I ignore and don’t listen. I just push through the day to make it home and recoup in hopes I’m not in physical or mental pain on the weekend. I’m proud of you for pushing and trying to accomplish your goals.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you, I hope you feel better today? ❤‍🩹

[@natas12rm]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I might never feel the same as I did 2 years ago. I’ve been in “psychosis” for 2 years straight but that hasn’t stopped me from working, gardening, and being myself (kinda). Sometimes I get the rambles just going through my head. I’m able to overcome it like I did with depression but I’m scared one day I might not be able to override it like I do now. Some people say you can’t stop hallucinating but I can sometimes. I just say “I don’t have time for this” like when a delusional hallucination happens. I mean like the big screen kind, like your whole view in front of you. I can’t stop the shadows and quick circle movements I see though.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@natas12rm Oh wow, i don't think I have ever been able to do that, my anxiety when i'm psychotic usually worsen the experience and make it so i'm unable to function I think... I wish you well and hope you have a good week! ❤‍🩹

[@natas12rm]

@@Kimberly_Viktoriacalm and quiet is the key.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@natas12rm Aa 🥰

[@MrsTonySoprano]

Looking so good, girl! The soup sounds wonderful. Keep making art. I saw something recently that stopped me in my tracks. “Creativity is the opposite of despair.” It inspired me to write… I’m sure you understand. 💌

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I totally understand! Thank you for sharing that with me! 😍💚

[@Holly858]

Part time at art school may be the best thing until you feel better That is how I was able to go to college Dont be so hard on yourself! You have a great support network.My mom used to be my support but she passed away. Things will get better.When you have a setback you feel discouraged but they dont last.I've had many setbacks but still manage to hang in there. My apartment is messy also but I try to do a little each day toclean Some days when I'am very depressed I can't do anything Please don't ever give up.Good luck.❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Holly! I will not give up yet on art school, I just hope they can accommodate me more going forward. 💚

[@KierraBenoit]

Don't give up. This too shall pass.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! I won't! 🥰

[@michelles9897]

How cool of your stepfather and mom to buy your shoes and now you can get the ones that fit. So sweet. I wish that I looked good in Dr Martens but I don't. Thanks for the update and so happy to see all of the pretty green in your video. Painting, plant, lime in your painting, and small bag on the table. So pretty with your red hair. Enjoy your tea and cinnamon bun day!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! And yes, it was very kind of him to buy them from me. 🥹 I wish I had the energy to make my own cinnamon buns for the day but I don't think that going to happen...💚

[@michelles9897]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I wouldn't make my own cinnamon buns either but the one you bought looks delicious! We need pastry holidays in the US. Enjoy!

[@gypsyskyy9451]

Hi Kimberly, I'm sending you gentle hugs, and praying and hoping that school works out and you can go part time. I still see you doing your best even when things get upsetting for you. I try to take things one day at a time, but still I know it is hard when we go through a lot of crap! I guess I should say challenges. You're very talented and art is your passion, so never give up! I'm so glad you have a good support system in your life. You are a beautiful person inside and out! Hang in there gurly! 😘🤗💚💜💚

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much Mary Ann! 🥰💚

[@gypsyskyy9451]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria 😘

[@SleepingLion088]

Stay strong, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Remember whenever you take control of situations like you are now, things get better with the hallucinations. It doesn't happen over night, but I find things work out a lot better than I expected. Not only is it difficult to notice escelations of the hallucinations, but more often than not pushing through the escelations and embrace it, not letting it control you and overcome your fear is a way to go in the long run. I hallucinate daily, it gets worse than what you experience for me daily. But I've learnt to adapt to it and I push my limits every day. I want to stay in control of my own life. I'm sure you can too. Good luck.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you!

[@liberavitluna8530]

Sorry to hear it's been rough :/ Try not to be so hard on. yourself though...sometimes when we struggle with mental health it's hard to do stuff like clean. Same as if someone is struggling with a physical health flare. Sending good thoughts your way from Texas

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! It's just hard to remind myself of that sometimes. 💚

[@hollywebster6844]

I'm glad you caught your symptoms early and I hope it makes a difference in resolving this episode. 💞

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Holly! Im very grateful I did and im not going to let this get me down yet. 💚

[@mizachs]

Such a good way to explain things, I can relate to some of the things you talked about. Hope you can relax and stay healthy! ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and you too! 🥰

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

Hepper på dig ❤ it will work out.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚

[@jenniferkskhfkejbeiduhfjsk1397]

Good luck! Its so hard to have schizophrenia. I have tried studying too like 3 times but it hasn't worked out for me because of my symptoms... But maybe studying part time is a good idea... you seem to have control of your symptoms more than I did... and you are doing great, doing everyting right... Your goulasch looks great =)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰

[@hayleyprice8345]

Hoping for a good recovery

[@elizabethbarmann5361]

Hang in there love! I’m struggling to you are not alone 🙏🧡💙😔

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and you too! 💚❤‍🩹

[@witchpower-gl3wq]

Hi Kimberly !! Remember nothing last forever even good things so this episode Will pass too Fresh fruits help me to improve my mood and go for a walk in a quiet and beautiful natural place ,maybe listening music at the same time. the tireness yoy feel is caused much for the treatment you are taking..take it easy and don't worry and think too much about it and all pass faster I wish you recover soon 🙂😘

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚

[@karenannehayes5049]

Hang in there Kimberly! You will get back to it ~ when you have had a time to rest and recover from this episode. Go easy on your dear self.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚I will 🥰

[@timothywilliams2887]

I know it's hard. I've been through many many different jobs and it was hard for me to stay more than a year. Now in my life somethings are better and some are worse. I am recovering from a 4 year trip being homeless. I'm getting better and looking to return to work when I can.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and oh wow, I'm rooting for you too! I hope you recover well and soon! 🥰

[@goblin1226]

I've noticed that the transition periods from one season to another have an impact on my psychotic symptoms. My symptoms became worse when the weather started changing and when it was beginning to feel more like fall. Maybe it could play a part in why your symptoms kinda came back? Just an idea haha 😀 also, take it easy. your health is most important. Oh and i also feel like a good hearty soup is therapy in a bowl btw. 🤣 (Not me craving soup rn)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Definitely an interesting idea! 🤔 I wonder if it could at least have some small effect on your mind and body? Thank you for you comment! 💚

[@foxingboarder2744]

sometimes when i get paranoid i start to do things that would cause actual paranoia and then i stop caring lol. i dont really care anymore about feeling like im being followed or spied on, it's kind of like, if youre going to do it just do it and im going to try to not give a shit

[@foxingboarder2744]

a lot of my paranoia stems from guys ive dated following me. a lot of my stuff is with men

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thats sounds like it would be hard for me to do, but maybe I'll try! Thank you! 💚

[@adaburzdziute2916]

Support from my heart❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! ❤️

[@Delphine816]

I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. You are enough, just as you are! 🥰💐

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚

[@steve2672]

I know what u are going through u hang in there on your journey schizophrenia can get rough ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚

[@Omegared_o]

my yelling that i did in the past comes up everyday im reminded of my worst psychotic moments alwasys ever since i got a tbi ive been ruined but i finally got a med that works i hate when my symptoms come up i get in a trance its awful

[@Omegared_o]

hsve s good day!!!!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and you too! 🥰

[@Velvet_Wings9]

I hope your school has some accomodations for you. I am autistic and adhd and accomodations at school makes my life and studying easier

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I hope so too! 😊

[@BasedRaven96]

Håller tummarna att du klarar det!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Tack så mycket! 🥰

[@hayleyprice8345]

We just came through winter and I found it good to make pumpkin soup and damper

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Pumpkin soup sounds so delicious right now! 🥰

[@MarthaAdamkiewicz]

Be good to yourself ❤❤❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰❤️

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

I just started on a new medication. I will update if it’s been a success. My therapist asked me why I drink. And I say that’s the only time my brain will let me go. Let go of all the ocd and sensory overload and such. All the thoughts. And I can’t sleep well. So she started me on something new. So far I like it. And I have never liked a medication. And I’m scared of weight gain. But I can’t remember the name right now. As I’m in bed. lol. And I’m lazy. But I will tell later. But idk if you’re like me and feel the need to numb it all. Maybe that’s not what you need we are all different in our skizo.

[@MarthaAdamkiewicz]

I really liked your comment that is why I drink, even If I shouldn't.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Please do update me on how it goes. Luckily I don't really drink but I do smoke cigarettes when I feel especially bad sadly... I hope you feel better soon too! ❤️‍🩹

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@MarthaAdamkiewicz I know the feeling well❤️‍🩹

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria it's called quetiapin (stadaquel) 💗

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Bamgeutcutiepie Ah, I have tried quetiapine too, made me fall asleep very easy. 😊

[@cani.j]

Ok Kimberley, I haven't watched your video till the end yet (I'm gonna do so), but I have to tell you now something that I think would help you and something you may not know. This might be something specific, but it's just that I want to point out things that might work, new ways of thinking, alternative ways and in general a holistic, authentic approach on disorders for them to - hopefully - heal. (I have bipolar, type 2. I already call myself in remission. My family has a genetic disposition for schizophrenia as well...) So, I know that I don't know in depth how things work in our bodies concerning the nutrients that we consume by eating food. But I feel that I know something through experience and bits and pieces of information that I absorbed all the way long. So... I was vegan and I never should have done that, never should have gone on a vegan diet. Long story short: There are nutrients in meat that our body needs. And probably in some years all the national organizations dealing with nutrition will come to terms that many, if not all, so-called carni-nutrients are essential. Essential nutrients. You may have heard of Lauren Kennedy West who was able to taper her medications to zero after around 8 or 9 months of the ketogenic diet for therapeutic means. I don't know much about the ketogenic diet. But what I know is that some nutrients found in meat are good for regenerating well from - stress. Basically a form of stress. Creatine is known for so long for helping athletes, just as well as beta-alanine, a precursor of carnosine. A lack of carnosine was linked to neurological and neurodegenrative illnesses, like depression, alzheimer and also schizophrenia. An increased intake of carnosine, a supplementation with it, in autistic people (I think it was children) was correlated with better speach. However our bodies are good at synthesizing carnosine through the supplemantation of beta-alanine (given that the second precursor histidine is available), that's why beta-alanine is so famous amongst athletes. I take a multi-nutrient supplement from Watson Nutrition, but I want to supplement beta-alanine as well. Just waiting for them to bring out their beta-alanine product cos they are the brand I trust (they will have the slow release type and as usual they will have their supplements checked for other substances by independent laboratories). For now I guess my body is filling its depots now that I eat meat again and I already feel so much better. (That's why I wrote, I am in remission). Anyways. I trully believe that a generel healthy lifestyle, through healthy eating, cooking and encorporating meat as well as a general open-minded and intuitive look on food, besides exercising according to one's fitness level and self improvement/personal developement are key to our overall health. (By self imrpovement I don't mean this Do-more-Get-more-things-done-Exercise-and-lose-weight-thing btw. I just mean "Persönlichkeitsentwicklung" as we call it in German.) So basically, what I'm trying to say is that we should be honest with ourselves and work on ourselves if we want to get better, and the things that are known to help will do actually help, but there might be few things that could help us on our journey and accelerate it, and that is food and the right choice of it - and in some cases supplementation. I strongly beleive in that, and I am so grateful that I was able to find a good supplementation brand that one Austrian PhD student in nutrition works together with. Through his competent work of analysizing studies and meta-analysis and turning that now digestible infos into videos that everybody can watch while also seeing & feeling the depth behind it, I have been able to slowly heal from my deprived body & brain. Now, in case you are wondering why I am even mentioning foreign brands to you: 1. As far as I remember they also ship to Sweden. 2. If you really consider taking supplements, then I hope you will do your research on what nutrients are needed, what nutrients are falsely considered not essential, and which nutrients are good in which dosage and bad in which dosage. (There's a quote from a Swiss doctor, from many hundred years ago, Paracelsus, and he said something like "All things are poison and nothing is without poison. Only the dosage makes something not be poison.") So I hope I could bring across a few things that I wanted to bring across in order to reevaluate our habits and our long-term medication intake. These are probably already lots of characters now and I don't wanna ecceed the characer limitation for comments, lol (already happened to me once), so I'll just stop here and say bye and lovely greetings from Berlin, Germany :)

[@originalvonster]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I've started eating badly again too. In my case I eat chocolate bars instead of meals. I hope your art course is better able to accomodate you. In the UK we get disabled student support, things like mindmap software and audio notetaking software to help with coursework. I didn't get any accomodations on the performance side of my course even though my memory isn't as good as it once was. I was hoping they would let me read lyrics while performing.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and i'm also sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon too. We do have something similar here but i'm not really sure how it works but i'm hoping it will be brought up on the meeting with the headmaster. Take care!💚

[@originalvonster]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I hope your meeting goes well, good luck.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@originalvonster thank you 😊

[@VC_Home4Now]

Bravo for asking for help and keeping yourself safe. Maybe now it's time to cut yourself some slack. Even "normal" students screw everything up when they go off to school. Going to college is super stressful. Can you get some help with cleaning and cooking? That may take some stress off you. Remember, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. All is not lost. So far, you are doing an amazing job. Take good care of yourself 🙂

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and thank you for the ideas, my mom can probably help me a little with the cleaning at least but its hard to ask for that kind of help.. Take care too! 💚

[@VC_Home4Now]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I know from my own experience that is hard to ask for help. It's not fair that I have to ask for help, but I've found that people who care for me are happy to help. 🙂

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@VC_Home4Now Very true, sometimes asking for help is the hardest part. 😊

[@CiaraColette]

I feel much better because of Clozapine 🖤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@CiaraColette i have never tried it, so scared of the side effects, and having to take blood tests so often 🥲

[@CiaraColette]

My psychiatrist put it this way “all antipsychotics cause weight gain”. I get a good night sleep and I wake in the morning well rested. I’m able to think more clearly and coherently so I’ve actually lost weight on clozapine!

[@CiaraColette]

I don’t mind the weekly blood test because I’ve been getting a monthly injection for a long time ☺️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@CiaraColette Oh wow! thats amazing! 🥰

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@CiaraColette Oh okay, do they disrupt your week anything? Like if you have work or study? ❤‍🩹

[@tianachidester1566]

Thanks!

[@tianachidester1566]

im schizoaffective... no one believes me... at first 😊

[@tianachidester1566]

im on haldol and lithium 😊 it must be working... i also thought someone was in my apartment when i was sick

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 🥹💚

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@tianachidester1566 its very scary! 🥲

[@tianachidester1566]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria they may have been but i have caught myself hallucinating so i just have to assume i am making it up

[@asgo7320]

Hi Kimberly! I hope you enjoy art school and that you feel better soon. Do you make any money from KZbin?

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hi! Thank you! Just a little but not every month. 🥰

[@MilliPidi]

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

❤

[@Omegared_o]

also im rasputin of 21st century

[@Omegared_o]

oii come from the future

[@arturkohut]

You can make it. I believe in you. Send you love 🤍

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@arturkohut oh wow thank you so much! And thank you for the encouragement 💚

[@Stewart-s2o]

As someone with schizoaffective disorder I find your videos very relatable and helpful in knowing that I am not alone. Please know that things will change and that they can get better. But about cigarettes - something that i wish I had realized sooner was that the chemicals in cigarettes (not the nicotine interestingly enough, but the other stuff) affect how your body metabolizes some antipsychotics and can dramatically lower their effectiveness. Not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure - but worth looking into and understanding when trying to recover from psychosis. This is a fact, you can look it up and something my psychiatrist has explained to me. If you have nicotine withdrawal, nicotine gum or even vaping do not have this same effect. Please take care and be well ❤️‍🩹

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh wow thank you and thank you of sharing this with me! I did not know that! 🥲💚

[@neutral.chaotic]

Kimberly - in our different struggles, I can relate so much. I have experienced minor psychosis in my bipolar mania and I struggle with paranoiad delusions (mostly feeling like everyone is hunting me or wants to capture me) too. I don't know what it feels like to be you - but you are not alone in the experiences you shared. For what it's worth. ❤️🫂 I also share your pain in how exhausting and frustrating episodes are. My psychiatrist has told me the same thing about stress and psychotic symptoms! She said that meds can help reduce symptoms but the best "cure" for psychotic symptoms is to get rid of the stress. Easier said than done. 🙈💞🫂

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! And thank you for sharing this with me. I hope you have a great rest of your week. 💚🤗