"You're not weird", she said. "You're just autistic."

[@faerysoul]

IMPORTANT: Some captions in the video itself are missing, explaining why I added the video footage of my youger self. Read them here to understand the footage: 3:25 = "I felt intensely drawn to practising speech, facial expressions, smiles and body language on camera." 3:35= "Practising talking to others", 3:39= "Practising “natural” looking facial expressions. Not always successfully. :D", 3:45= "And practising the “right kind” of smile."

[@honeymoney4910]

Am I the only one who loves summer and sunny days and absolutely hates winter cold dark nd cloudy seasons. Even in summer I wear full sleeve covered clothes and gets happy when sees sun. In winter i can't regulate my body temp. I love to be warm so my palms are always burning , if I spent more time in A.C then I have to go outside to get warm again to regulate the body temp, in summers.

[@VelvetKatOfficial]

I've always considered myself just a shy introvert that's highly sensitive, & since I felt like an alien child in an adult human world, I just thought I was weird for not understanding humanity. Took me a long time to finally accept my eccentricities & love myself. Since I've been getting therapy, maybe I should ask about a brain test or something🤔 Cause I'm definitely overstimulated by crowds, noise, certain fabrics, media, and I always feel like I have to present myself as "professional/mature" to be taken seriously. Even your kitchen example is how I feel about tasks, it's hard for me when people try to have conversations while I'm doing something. Either I stop what I'm doing or I tell them to wait till I'm ready. Beautiful artwork btw😊💜

[@faerysoul]

Aww, I feel you! I wish you well on your path!

[@whimsykat_]

Does anybody here find summer months difficult? Too bright, too chaotic energetically etc?

[@margilvi5890]

I do. . At least i live in a good place for me and summers are not too warm but i suffer a lot with hot weather

[@sukintendo]

Yes. It's all too much.

[@whimsykat_]

Yay I’m not the only one🦋 Every year, I feel relieved when the summer solstice is over, as now it’s rebirth of our season - days get shorter towards deep rich colours of autumn & cozy snowy winter 🍁🍄🌲☃️❄️ Let’s rejoice!

[@Hello-pd1bv]

Yes!! There was has always been something I couldn‘t stand about summer, but I never knew quite what it was. Eventually I figured out it’s because summer’s basically a composition of all the things I can‘t stand.😅 Bright light, heat, the sun burning down, my skin feeling sticky from sweat and sunscreen, the „overexcited energy“ and leaving my space a lot because of traveling (even tough I like traveling). I think summer is just a bit too much of everything for me.

[@myler45]

+1

[@PedreschiMess]

So happy to hear about others' experience on being neuroatypical, I'm in the diagnosis process, trying to find in which profile I fit, so I can treat and comprehend myself better. Art, music, high creativity is something I experience every day and in the last years the incapacity to fit it to the "real world" brought me a lot of pain and sadness. I'm in the beginning of this self-discover journey, hope these new lights on the topic we're having nowadays can help many people as it began to help me :)

[@faerysoul]

I hope so too! Good luck for your journey! :)

[@DottyDelightful]

I didn't know (I'm 47) that I am ND, my new bestie kept saying it, I kept saying, no I'm not, she said people who aren't don't say the things you do, I said OK I will take some tests to stop her saying it, hahahaha lets just say that backfired! It has made so much sense, there was a period of grief though. Now I am unlearning how to be, I have been masking for so long. Interestingly, 2 of my 3 children are ND, and they both said they knew all along.

[@faerysoul]

Strange how sometimes things happen, right? I also would have never guessed if my friend hadn't give me the clue! I hope you are happy now even though there was a period of grief.

[@DottyDelightful]

@@faerysoul yes I am learning daily about myself and what I need, thank you

[@faerysoul]

@@DottyDelightful

[@JezzLundkvist]

Your test sounds more fun then the one I did. I only got plenty of hard question together with my parents. Got both ADHD and ASD. ADHD is something I started to realize I would have, but ASD got me off guard.

[@faerysoul]

I can imagine, especially if you did not expect it! I hope the diagnosis could help you, though! I had to take 3 or 4 questionaries, then I had a session with a very long interview with the expert and then quite a lot of tests concerning problem solving, thought process, eye contact. gestures, etc...

[@veronikamaria7831]

Omg that’s like exactly the story of my life too 😳

[@faerysoul]

Strange how sometimes one can relate, isn't it? :D

[@lucyanderson9064]

I am in my 40s, and did not have a clue I was autistic until now. It's very hard for females to be recognised as such, and even harder for adult females. I just struggled all my life, and put it down to some flaw with myself before. When you start out in life being bullied, and terrorised by others, or just treated as 'different', or friends dropping you out, and you don't quite understand it all. You just think there is something wrong with you. We get called 'shy', awkward, weird, quirky, annoying, difficult, 'too sensitive', whimsical, laughably 'old fashioned', 'too intense', and a host of other things, but never hmmmm, you might be autistic. Now everything makes sense, and though my life has been a giant mess of suffering, at least now I can get needed support, and via acceptance of myself, I can set better boundaries, and maybe be on a good path for once. I will not alter myself, or 'mask' anymore. I just am what I am, and if others don't like it, that's just too bad for them. No more trying to be like other people, or do what is 'normal' or deemed OK depending on these arbitrary rules that don't even make any sense. Our societies are too stressful, and they do need to change, because even non autistic people are reacting negatively to things now. In a way, autistic people are just acting as the 'canary in the coalmines'. An early warning detector. We have known that things are wrong for a long time, now neurotypicals are finally realising the same. Things ARE too loud, too bright, too fast, too chaotic, all toxic, and polluted etc.

[@skooshy621]

Lucy, you stated, "It's very hard for females to be recognised as [autistic], and even harder for adult females." Please can you say if is this based in fact? If so, why is that the case? I am puzzled by this and really want to understand.

[@faeriesmak]

@@skooshy621Autism diagnosis and all of the research is based on little boys. It presents very differently in girls and women.

[@skooshy621]

@@faeriesmak Thank you for your response. Could you please provide me with citations to back up both of your statements? I would like to compare and contrast research findings to gain a more thorough understanding of these anomalies of differential diagnosis and presentation between boys, girls, and women.

[@faeriesmak]

@@skooshy621 You can find your own sources with a little research. I do not have the time to do all of the legwork for you.

[@lucyanderson9064]

@@skooshy621 Yes, it is factual. Autism has historically been seen as something that only boys get. Which means females have been mostly overlooked, or misdiagnosed for many years. It's only recently more recognised that girls, and women can have it also, and that they can present differently than males do.

[@k1ss4fr0g]

the way i discovered it was my first serious boyfriend. i met his mother once (she was studying to be a psychologist from memory) and she had 1 conversation with me and turned to him, then said "autism?", he said "yeah i think so." and the rest is history

[@ameliaheart5091]

I don’t know if that’s funny or rude of them😂

[@rainbowconnected]

That seems unkind for them to talk about you as if you weren't there. Hopefully they either shaped up in how they treated you or you found a more compassionate partner.

[@Kylielb86]

This is how people with autism are treated and it is awful. She probably could’ve taken you aside and asked you personally. As a psychologist, that is concerning behaviour no less!

[@shy_in_nature]

Thank you for sharing! ❤️

[@faerysoul]

Thank you!! And hi! 😊

[@shy_in_nature]

​@@faerysoulhi! I've missed you! :)

[@Iamlynie1]

It's lovely to hear that you are finding the true you. I was diagnosed three years ago at 65, and it is still a work in progress for me. Life does make a lot more sense now. Keep up the lovely art❤

[@julia_farbenfroh]

Ma, ich freu mich irgendwie voll für dich ❤ das klingt alles sehr positiv

[@faerysoul]

Das ist es auch. Lieben Dank ❤❤❤❤

[@GoodBeets4ME]

Watching your video has been cathartic. We have a very similar story especially about masking. What you call "social butterfly". I called "being the hostess". I recently found out I am autistic and the relief has been wonderful. I am 55. I have 3 young adult children. I was responsible and sought out therapy and worked on my issues but my kids went through a lot. I had 3 under 5 yrs. at one point and I hit the last straw too often. To have known why and how my brain worked and what I needed to be healthy would have had major positive impact on rating them. However, my generation(x) didnt even have the word "autistic", not even "self regulation" in our vocabulary. I am so pleased that things are opening up and seeing Autism not as a condition just different wiring, no better, no worse. We each bring something to the table. I am happy to subscribe and hear more of your story. Water colors are so fun.

[@Kylielb86]

I am 37 and totally believe I am autistic. It would explain why I could never understand other people and what their facial expressions meant or whether someone was speaking genuinely or being sarcastic. I struggled so hard and was the weird kid all throughout childhood into adolescence. Like you, I have become a master at masking and what would appear to others as an extrovert personality. In reality, I prefer to be in on my own or with my partner only and still have a lot of fear about socialising with others, including my own friends. Life has been really hard. I knew inherently that I was different to my friends who seemed to just glide along through life, while I was fighting against a treacherous sea. Thank you for sharing. I really do need to get this diagnosis for my own peace of mind.

[@RiyaMa108]

Hooray! Welcome to the club you never knew you were a part of! being autistic is great.. tough sometimes but full of gifts.. x x x

[@faerysoul]

Heheh, I'm definitely happy to have found out! Hugs!

[@jyamesLccas]

You are so very beautiful; thanks heaps for sharing Jasmin!

[@drzeworyj]

thank you for embracing your identity that so many still shun, or fearfully peel off the stigma, presenting it as HSP. there is no stigma, there is no stigma to be feared. let us be us, authentically 🦋

[@astalander6061]

Best think I did was get my diagnosis. Self loving.

[@EdgetonWolfeDrezwellington]

You're not alone my friend. We may seem weak to some, yet strong to others. Keep smiling, you are an inspiration every single day. 🤗

[@alvacouch]

I know someone like you, and your videos show a path forward for her. She's very similar to you, including getting into sensory overload in the city, having a predilection for spending time alone in the woods and even foraging for her food there. She's very difficult to interact with, but your videos perhaps help me understand.

[@JessicaMaiArtist]

Thank you for sharing this. You're so lovely to listen to.

[@_bouldering_3688]

Ich fühle mich sehr verbunden zu dir. Ich habe viele ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht. Vielen Dank dafür, dass du Autisten, kreativen und introvertierten Menschen einen sicheren Ort gibst und deine Geschichte mit uns teilst!

[@LphilAdams]

You ever heard the nobody's perfect.. Those people like this. Everyday you meet them on the street.. But somehow they make it through life just fine.. I've seen people makeup excuses I got to leave.. That's because they don't feel comfortable and they do have to leave. But they'll blame it on it's too hot or something else.. I know this cuz I've done it myself.. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ But I got through life. All by myself.. And I'm proud of it.. Can understand what was going on but I proceeded to push forward anyway.. Being retired now I wonder how I ever made it... I'm a living example that can be done.. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@savannahpipilottajenssen]

I love your vibe, your wisdom and your beautiful, magical art - thank you so much for the inspiration, by sharing who you are 🧚‍♂️✨☘️

[@soulofahacker]

I'm so very happy you figured this out about yourself, and that you're taking the steps you need to support your needs! I suspect I'm on the spectrum, and a lot of your story tracks my own experience (natural difficulty with social stuff, highly sensitive, learning how to mask), but I haven't sought a diagnosis because it can sometimes be bad to be labeled as "disabled" here in the US... employers could pay less, refuse to hire, etc. But even recognizing it as a possibility, following some of the tips and tricks I've found online, and accepting that my "differentness" is okay and natural has been huge. I hope your journey of self-discovery and self-advocacy is going well!

[@faerysoul]

I don't know what the system is like in the US, but here in Austria you can choose yourself wether to disclose this information to anyone. I personally only do when I feel it's neccessary in daily life. I hope you can find the exact right decision that suits you well! Wishing you lots of confidence and the support you need. :)

[@jessonthespectrum]

What a great video. Thank you for sharing your story! It makes such a difference, getting diagnosed as autistic. Suddenly your whole life makes sense.

[@gavinkaufmanworld]

A beautiful video - thank you for sharing ☺ I've recently been diagnosed with Autism (and ADHD) at the age of 40 😀

[@greengables3166]

Haha wie lieb. Ich bin letztens im Nebensatz autistische-asperger(Dings) genannt worden, von jemand, der sich **auskennt**. Und dann **heimlatsch** Und dann so MOMENT WAS?? Ich mag heut noch Prinzessinnenkleidl und ich rede mit meinen Stofftieren Und die antworten auch 🎉 Ui Muminaufkleber 🎉🎉

[@faerysoul]

Na, wenn das nicht mal meine liebste Kommentarschreiberin ist... 😍☀️❤

[@dadigan5117]

I am 62 and I've been similar to this for my entire life, since I fell off my bike when I was ... 6? ... and hit the curb head first. We live in a world of labels because humans need to make sense of things ... sadly ... because it would be much better if we simply accepted people as they are, which you are trying to do. Keep that up, by the way. There are so many ways that we identify with labels and then attach to them because we are social and we want to belong to a tribe, a pack ... a family of like minded folks. How is that going for us here in the states? In astrology speak, I have a Capricorn sun, a moon in Aquarius, and the rising sign Pisces. I am totally not a "typical" Cappy. I am definitely a typical Pisces and Aquarius. Is that me? Of course not, but I identify with them, but I could easily identify with a head injured person, or someone who has PTSD, or depression ... or being on the spectrum. I think that we are simply us, in our uniqueness. A facet of a diamond among countless othersbut we live in a world that, as the saying goes, wants to hide our light under a bushel, just saying. Keep going, love. daniel

[@eva-lottakastilanezer7112]

Your description of your bahaviour in your childhood is so similar to what I experienced and how I behaved. I just got my diagnosis at 50 yo. Do you also experience that you take i much of other people's feelings from around you? I lived in my imagination, painted and did draw allt the time, read a lot of books. I transformed myself when I was around 18 yo to stop the bullying at school that had been going on all years. It wotled but was just a mask. To unmask after so many years is not easy at all. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@faerysoul]

Yes I know the feeling! The problem is not that I don't feel other peoples energies and emotions, it's more that the right understanding of it does not come fully natural or intuitively to me, like reading subtle facial expressions correctly etc. Most of it I compensate with a rational situation analysis, bit it doesnt always land 100 percent. Glad that you found your way to unmask and feel better with yourself! Lots of love to you

[@NorwayWarrior]

I love your outfits!! What brand of tights are those? They look super soft!

[@faerysoul]

No specific brand, just regular winter tights. 😊

[@EvaCornelia]

Thank you for this beautiful video and for sharing so openly and sincerely. We have a lot in common. Your description of your master plan to create a socially confident and popular young woman which kindof stepped in front and hid the so unacceptable awkward child was exactly what I did. I was hiding my difficulties so well that it almost killed me in my late 20s. In the 1990s I came across the book of Temple Grandin and also another lady whose name I forgot (Donna... something), and I found a lot of similarities. Until then, I had seen my personality under the aspect of trauma and dissociation, but there was always something missing and therapy never really went where I wanted it to go - without having words for what I wanted. I also felt that one part of me was autistic and another wasn't, and that these two parts weren't connected. Around 10 years ago I finally went to see an expert for diagnosing autism. She said that if you consider all questions concerning autism, I would have had a high score. But I also scored high on questions concerning empathy, compassion and the ability to see things from another person's perspective. So that overall, I would not "qualify" for a diagnose on the autistic spectrum. I found that very interesting because it totally matched my observation I had in the 1990s. Today, after watching your video, I realized that even though I don't have an official autism diagnosis, there's still a part of me which has all the autistic features including sensory overstimulation, too much going on, difficulty to balance emotions, escaping into a world of peace and beauty (for me it's music) and not wanting to have people around most of the time. And that I need to take better care of this part of myself and be clearer with my boundaries. So thank you again. Very much. 💜

[@rainbowstarks]

ok i'm so glad you posted this video because i found your other video on whimsy and immediately, I was like " she's autistic". I have a radar LOL. I'm also late diagnosed and relate to your view of life. As my friends say, "stay whimsical"

[@agnetahallberg9845]

I liked the folkmusic in your video.

[@EdgetonWolfeDrezwellington]

Same here. Asbergers Disease my whole life. Last 8 years, Multiple Sclerosis in a chair now. Even have weak lungs and heart from an old bad injury years ago. So I rarely go outside or around people very often anymore, unless with my mask and oxygen.

[@ladycaissia1547]

I've been diagnosed since childhood. Autism does mean you're weird even if you are trying to not be weird. People with very mild traits are now being diagnosed. They may have better luck at not being weird. I'd like the type of autism where I could conform to the expectations of society and have the interoception you have. I hate the original autism. I want the new autism.

[@duoshaoqian]

❤❤❤

[@simplypositiveme]

I happened to find high masking autism. I don't have diagnosis. How do I get one? I'm alone. I took online tests with very high scores.

[@flyingroses]

i just want to say i adore your outfits- they are so cute

[@kenrickbautista6141]

Off-topic, but you're very beautiful inside and out.

[@filipinoblackpill6194]

My fck buddy told me im autistic. Then i got curious. I got into mbti it says infp when i answered it maybe 4 times same result. Then when i check the symptoms of autism its sumilar to infp. Possible infps are autistic

[@user-gy3fj1gt9i]

How's that piece of music called?

[@simplymyself]

Tolle Bilder hängen an der Wand

[@faerysoul]

Dankeschön! :)

[@fantastiv]

Hi! Could you say which youtubers really helped you with sharing tips on how to handle everything? ☺

[@faerysoul]

Especially @imautisticnowwhat, and another german female autism creator (who solely creates in german so I'm not tagging) but also @autismfromtheInside. :) Hope this helps you!

[@joh4535]

@@faerysoul Könntest du die deutsche KZbinrin vielleicht doch nennen, würde mich sehr interessieren 🙂

[@xaisthoj]

An autistic INFP

[@faerysoul]

Hehe, autistic yes, INFP I am not sure! Maybe I will have to take the test. :D

[@Ronzo777]

Literally came to type this comment but you beat me lol.

[@sirbobfritez13]

Hello from another autistic artist, also called Jasmin

[@lindsaycooke361]

WHERED U GET THAT MOOMIN STUFF

[@Surfergirl0711]

Könntest du vielleicht teilen, wo du getestet wurdest? Es scheint unmöglich, einen Termin zu bekommen und dann auch noch bei jmd, der einen als Frau nicht gleich wieder wegschickt 🙈

[@gimlarquinn3622]

Ooh moomins!!!

[@drzeworyj]

PS Moomins are the most ND characters I know

[@Ronzo777]

There's a little glitch from 4:20-4:32. Anyway, you're cute, keep it up.

[@TickledFunnyBone]

It is always better to be 'different' than stigmatized. B.C.a.B.A.

[@shanemichaelneal648]

This is how it starts lol

[@gardenextra7415]

❤

[@jantaljaard835]

Is she German or Swedish?

[@faerysoul]

German :)

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

There are so many youtubers I recommend... for instance "Mom on the spectrum" or... if overlap with ADHD " ADHD love" ....the latter doesn't have to show hyperactivity, by the way. Greetings from a self- diagnosed German, Autistic and ADHD... self diagnosis is ok...:-)

[@lindsaycooke361]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Vanessa_Sharma]

I try to figure out your accent. Are you German? :)

[@Vanessa_Sharma]

Ok hat sich erledigt, 2 Sekunden später sehe ich die Bücher. 😊 Danke für das Video. Ich glaube es gibt sehr viele Menschen die ihr Leben lang nicht herausfinden, dass sie autistisch sind. Vor allem seit dem Konzept der Hochsensibilität

[@faerysoul]

Ich habe auch jahrelang gedacht ich sei "nur" hochsensibel. Ich würde mich zwar immer noch als hochsensibel bezeichnen, aber die Ursache ist bei mir definitiv der Autismus. Da ist die Sensibilität quasi "Begleitsymptom". :D

[@drzeworyj]

btw., I could tell you are German just looking at that wallpaper :D

[@lady4191]

It's weird

[@filipinoblackpill6194]

Why your hair now turned red. Did it change or just hair color. Even if im infp or autistic. I will own being autist so in future ill be compensated by government and i will not work anymore. Are you compensated by government already as an autist girl? Give me idea about it. I want compensation.

[@lindsaycooke361]

we could have gone without the hammer banging sounds.

[@naturandmor]

Why do you have long hair. I know an autistic, adhd girl who has only short hair.

[@faeriesmak]

I have waist long hair and AuDHD. Autism doesn’t determine your hair length.

[@Libbydoh]

Each autistic kid is different. I wish we didn't look at autism as a spectrum, bc it's more a spongy 3d model that can be pierced at different depths representing severity of autism symtoms. Each kid is a different story.

[@ros2480]

What kind of question is this💀

[@naturandmor]

@@ros2480 what kind of question is this