Find Out If You’re Really in Love

[@jamesmerone]

I wish I had a video like this when I was 21. In my early 20s I confused lust with love. It of course led me down to a hedonistic path where I needed to lose my virginity outside of wedlock because it's "manly" and my environment promoted that. After many years of this hedonism, 9 months ago at the age of 26, I decided to walk into a Catholic church for my very first time and sign up for RCIA. My baptism has been postponed due to Corona.

[@elizabethstephens8801]

Praying that you will be able to be baptized soon, I'm sorry it got postponed, that must be very hard :(

[@jamesmerone]

@@elizabethstephens8801 Very sad. I never missed one RCIA class in the 9 months I attended Sunday school. When they sent me the email that my baptism was postponed, I felt heartbroken and asked God why.

[@joseh3564]

Praise God! You're a sign that prayers for our youth are being answered.

[@caribaez5711]

Always be grateful. This is pure truth. Don’t just be grateful for your life, but be grateful to others if they are caring for you. Even if you are confused, ask them but be grateful. Don’t be a fool! Be kind.

[@albablanco9145]

I’m Praying for you! You are valuable and I hope your path in the One True Church makes you a man of great character, virtue and faith! Welcome!

[@peggylyons6898]

Love is not a feeling, love is a commitment. I sincerely believe true love never dies. It’s not only chemistry, it is about friendship and willingness to put the other person first and so much more ...

[@pkwilliamson4579]

a few years ago there was a survey that found that both Christians and non-Christians had the same rate of divorce. However.. those who prayed every day, meditating on the scriptures, had a divorce rate of 1:1000. Indeed, I am probably one of the worst husbands; i not good at communicating and all the things you're supposed to do; I'm too sensitive, etc..... but when you go to prayer, God invariably tells me that I'm being stupid and I should forgive and go back and ask for forgiveness. It's really quite amazing. For some reason, people keep asking if we are newlyweds, "i say, Yes, its only been 39 years.'"-- the feelings are just as intense as they were when we first got married, but, of course, there's more......

[@jackjones3657]

"The reality should be better than the romance." The very opposite of the modern world's obsession of sex without commitment.

[@cbentler4528]

I’ve been meaning to read CS Lewis’ book “the four loves” and this was the extra wink from God to do it! 😊

[@lauracastillo4256]

The young people of our day and age need to hear this!

[@LiztasticGames]

Love is willing the good of the other 💞

[@catholicwarrior5027]

Amen. If it's not too much to ask for can you pray for me that I find a girl that I can start a relationship with soon. I've been feeling so lonely like I'm missing a partner in my life. I've already prayed a novena for a girlfriend but nothing happened. I'm kinda losing hope.

[@lucasaquino1802]

@@catholicwarrior5027 start to pray to do the perfect Will of God. That's might not be your vocation, think about it. The Rosary was a key point to line up my will to His Will and, in few words, that's the happiness of our lives: to do what God wants for us. I'll be praying for you in any case, brother! Our Lady of the Rosary of Fatima, pray for us!

[@catholicwarrior5027]

@@lucasaquino1802 Thank you so much brother in Christ tbh I've also been thinking of becoming an Exorcist Priest because I've found interest in helping people with such attacks of the enemy but I still also feel like having a family of my own which is abit stressing honestly. I hope God helps me out. Thank you so much!

[@mmswp.channel]

@@catholicwarrior5027 that's beautiful! I started my relationship without prayer before and things did not go in His way. Keep praying, for your vocation, and for yourself to not giving up praying. God bless you ❤❤

[@finishercar]

Jackie is such a beautiful woman, her profile is so striking. As a young Catholic woman, I want to be more like her as I grow older. Thank you for this video.

[@YananoBere]

Wonderful advice and I couldn't agree more. There's a reason "love the Lord your God" comes before "love others as you love yourself". You cannot love others in the ways they need to be loved until Jesus' pure and perfect love teaches you how

[@caitlin8160]

Dead on accurate!

[@mi-ka-eltheguardian3837]

Is truly beautiful that as you're giving the talk, you look to one another... Those glances reveal the mutual support and the love you share. God Bless you

[@jasminedixon7960]

Hey jackie my name is Jasmine and I'm 15 and your very inspireing and funny. You helped me in my fall in faith and helped me get back up and trying after years! This channal is awsome ya'll are awsome! Thanks again so much!! God bless have an awsome day!!

[@vaseman3639]

Glory be to God. Praying for you. :)

[@theworldforgot4857]

May God bless you abundantly Jasmine AMEN!🙏🏽🤲🏾❤️☝🏽

[@jcpenny2438]

Jackie: Aaand if you're asking this question, we're kind of assuming... Me, as single as a pringle: Welp, idk why I'm here, but ok.

[@lisa-tm5ix]

Ahahaha that's fun! 😂 I think this applies to everyone: married, courting/dating and especially singles, as you can learn this when already in a relationship, but if you are aware of it before while single it is great info to know and avoid lot's of heartbreak and misunderstandings. ❤

[@caribaez5711]

Love and responsibility is the book that makes me be so curious and makes me want to open my heart so much. I love that book so much.

[@luciaobix]

One of my favorite books

[@caribaez5711]

Lucía Ocaña yes I know. I just found about a book called, the five languages of love.

[@jessicamcintosh9008]

“Keep reading, this is good.” 😊. You guys are wonderful. Thank you for sharing your amazing insight!!!

[@vjs0902]

Great video. Yes Agape is highest form of love. When you love someone unconditional is one thing is if you are the only one fighting and have that love and the other person doesn't. Let it go. Has to be both. You will find yourself in lots of pain. You have to love yourself as well.

[@katkat2340]

If u can laugh together , sweat together, cry together and then u can stay together

[@isaacv.6467]

I need to see Father Mike on this topic

[@melissacorre2438]

You can watch Fr. Mike's video, "Will I Ever Find The One"

[@saramallett7467]

I just love watching their videos because they show us true love! When Bobby speaks, you can see the look of admiration from Jackie when she looks at him. They are such great role models, I hope me and my new hubby can be as good husband and wife as they are today!

[@gabrielebartkute7359]

Oh cool, my current relationship is based on true love! And I definitely agree with your points. My husband is my best friend, advisor, lover, everything I can imagine! I can talk about many different things with him and we don't have fights! But I've learned that sweet fuzzy romantic feelings can be maintained in my relationship - they're tightly tied up to empathy and care for another person. Idk why, but that's probably my Catholic upbringing showing off.

[@mhodkinson]

This video came at the right time. Thank you Lord that I have sense of hope and consolation after watching this 😊

[@BindingTheYoke]

I think the lack of purity in so many cultures has blurred the lines of philia and eros even for Christians, so that often expressions of love or admiration for a friend often get misinterpreted as sexual overtures. >_> or the reverse that agape is misconstrued for all other forms of love. In all cases but eros, love is a choice. Since one can have a strong feeling of love for those of the opposite sex but have neither any desire for intimacy or closer affiliation than friendship thereby choosing not to act upon it is philia, or even agape depending upon the disposition of that persons heart. Therefor eros is under the command of higher reason and is rendered null, ergo... LOVE is a CHOICE.

[@caribaez5711]

Yes love is a choice.

[@anthonyfiducia]

Great chemistry! You guys think for each other, that’s love. This makes sense in my mind but my heart needs work, hope it seeps in!

[@MrOhWhatTheHeck]

I needed this

[@Richie016]

Determining love based on a handful set of ideals is, at times, still not enough to make a genuine sense of love. Therefore. Like Bobby & Jackie conclude, God is the original author of love. It's better to leave this choice for him.

[@Mauitaoist]

Don't love anybody more than you love yourself love yourself they will love you for loving yourself because they love them self together you love each other

[@desiredecove5815]

Perfect timing- Thank you God 🙏🏻

[@jojojo5532]

This vid came out at the right time for me. Thank you

[@jimsteinbacher5726]

I have felt this love for another but never in return.

[@mazikode]

Beautiful..thank you for explaining the different types of love. And reminding us God loved us first thats the kind of love we need.

[@Segnor1]

I struggle a lot with that currently. I'm very confused about my feelings as we're in a long distance relationship. I don't know if I'm lying to myself because she's amazing and I want to be with her or if I really have feelings for her. It's hard. Thank you for this video.

[@emmy5145]

I get you. Just pray about it :)

[@MarinaMSinger]

Hi! What happened in the end? 🙏🏻

[@KCtheSUNSHINE]

Wow, I love you more than myself. I like that litmus test. Thanks for clarifying that feelings flit and fly away; so much more to it than that. And the other core info. Great video!

[@freshliving4199]

It’s not possible to be in Love, one can only be of Love

[@izawaniek2568]

What a beautiful description of what real Love is. Thank you very much. God bless you.

[@francisluke4739]

2 months into mine and my partners relationship he had major surgery which was definitely something that helped us see we were right for each other, if young new partners can get trough something so hard it shows there is a deep connection.

[@tombrettin8731]

Love is itching of the heart but you can't scratch. The End.

[@faithfulprofessional6886]

Thank you so much for this Jackie and bobby definitely a couple blessed by the Lord. 😍

[@vuhoang7109]

Thank you very much, Bobby and Jackie, for your insightful message on this, as it helps me understand better to navigate my marriage life with my lovely wife to the fullest as God intended. This sounds like a clear way of love rooted in the heart that we can follow as opposed to the blurred lines of love from lust that we could get lost in the way to elsewhere, especially from God. May God bless us all. Amen.

[@borbaladr.eperjes361]

Thank you for this teaching and testimony as well😊

[@arisauchida6300]

I really love this. Made me realize the reality of love, I understand it more. Now it’s easier to move on.

[@SevenDeMagnus]

Thanks I trust ma'am Jackie and sir Angel. God bless.

[@chichigurl]

Thank you so much for this. I truly appreciate it, I love it!🧡

[@meredethYT]

Timely video. Such a question has been on my mind... thanks for your perspective

[@men.276]

I once a read a well written article on how the break down of word Love in the Greek is over emphasized because philo, eros etc. Are all used in different places in the scriptures where the meaning of each doesnt fit. The author was making the point that there wasn't a distinction in the type of Loves and all are meant to be reflect Gods Agape Love.

[@BlessedLifeLoveandFaith]

Jackie and Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful topic!! (: I can say truly I am in love with the man I'm dating of 2 1/2 years. (we are in our late twenties) We have shared our ups and downs, especially in practicing chastity. It's quite hard to not physically show how much we love one another, but our bond of dear friendship and sincerity of pure love comes through. He's my first love and really hope marriage would complete our forever bond of this love. It's just a lot of sacrifice and patience. I love Taylor Swift's song called You're in Love, almost a reflection of this topic in a song: "And so it goes You two are dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words 'Cause you can hear it in the silence you can feel it on the way home you can see it with the lights out You are in love, true love." 💗💗 Please pray for us and I'll keep all of you in my prayers too! God bless always!!💛💛💛

[@hilariapreethivanathayaraj7520]

Praying for you. My favourite yellow hearts too💛💛💛

[@theworldforgot4857]

Very important may God bless you all abundantly AMEN!!!!!!!🙏🏽🤲🏾❤️☝🏽✝️

[@nimeshdias6490]

I see my relationship as deep spiritual connection. Bcz for me, love means giving Jesus to the person i/we love. Jesus is Love. I started my relationship with sharing sanits movies.....! Because i really wanted her to become a saint!

[@Peonie24]

Thanqq so much Jackie and Bobbie for cleaning the haziness about the idea of love in our minds

[@richardlopez6226]

Thank you. I really needed this.

[@Sarah-fm6ll]

I wish I could talk to somebody right now. The person I like privately is now my cross to bear

[@flat4engine482]

Thank you for this ❤

[@wishIwuzskiing]

To add to the barriers of true, deep love, the online dating world not only emphasizes the physical attraction, but it also subtly or not so subtly pushes the expectation of sex as the primary goal leaving no room to grow in knowledge and friendship.

[@Veronica-wi9ku]

I would love a marriage bootcamp posted by you guys!

[@virginiashabong5695]

Thank you.....it really helps me🙏🙏🙏

[@dianaalmazan69]

Please Pray for My Spirit. I have completely poisoned my soul with lies. Thank you!

[@onealryan]

Thank you for this awesome discussion!

[@davidserrant976]

Waw I needed this thanks so much

[@chummynwagwu5224]

I recently started subscribed an I really love your videos I will really love to get some training from you so that I can transfer this knowledge to the younger generation. Thanks

[@moroomario4007]

Allow God to love you first so that we can extend it to others 👍

[@MaamShannellePea]

Part of loving him is letting him go and be happy with someone in time of quarantine . 💔💔💔

[@glory4theking]

Very good video! God bless!

[@mellys6246]

You two are a blessing. Thank you for sharing 💓💓💓🌺

[@0x4849-f]

Amazing video, chock full of gems. A request: Please put in the citations (Chapter, section, page, etc) of the citations from Karol Wojtyla's "Love and Responsibility". Thanks.

[@vivicmp6018]

That is beautiful ♥️Thank you! 🙏🏻

[@miriamDev]

You guys are awesome ❣️

[@aramismorales431]

If you are asking yourself if you are in love than evidently you’re not!

[@CM-qo2ns]

Wow thank you so much! It really helped me to feel better now.

[@ahensele]

Oh my God what a beautiful video! And can I ask where can I find that gorgeous painting of Mary that's behind Bobbie? I loved it 😍

[@leilanithirang4180]

amen;) Great sharing:) Thanks:) God bless you:)

[@amruthabibiana.d3551]

I'm so thankful for this video!!🥰

[@JuLieeShunn]

Im not married through church but married through government, i want to get married through church , but im just scared, theres somethings i feel i cant even change from my husband in his sexual desires, i dont really like doing those things because i feel like at times thats all he thinks about and it gets me mad idk what to do, for now all im doing is praying to god that things will get better

[@Vargolis]

This is the goal!

[@Ngan.marianguyen]

I’m in so much pain 😭 it hurts. It wasnt love and yet it hurts. I liked the guy so much but he was the wrong one for me

[@caribaez5711]

I think I am very curious about many religious topics but people misinterpret me. I have lots of energy when I am very curious but people don’t believe the same and say they are not like me. I want to express my ideas so much. I wish I can be writer and write my own ideas because people hate me for opening my heart too much. 😔🥺

[@flordelbosque5671]

😯 maybe you're talking to the wrong people! 😉 People can agree to disagree but they should never treat anyone bad just because they don't see eye to eye. Find someone who is willing to have the type of conversation you're looking for 🙂

[@caribaez5711]

Flor Del bosque very hard to find these people. People bully me and my impulsive attitude comes outs. 😢

[@Onlinesully]

Cari you come across as a decent person. Maybe soften some of the wording where possible. But you are allowed your opinion, particularly if you try not to deliver in a hurtful way.

[@caribaez5711]

Sow AG I will try thank you.

[@catholicwarrior5027]

Hi! If you don't mind me asking what kind of ideas are you thinking about ? :) I'd be willing to listen

[@luisrodrigobasaguren3287]

Thank you both! You are truly awesome!

[@janeEyreAddict]

Please please do a video of the different "types" of love. I have heard it said as Raya, ahava, dod ( maybe Hebrew?). I think that we need to talk more about certain words and their translations in the Bible cause it's very interesting

[@swetainlove5384]

That is sooo true🙌 Thank you

[@EricA-xd9fn]

95% of what masquerades as love is a transactional relationship. "You are doing this for me (buying stuff, cooking dinner, washing my socks), and I love you for it" Stop doing it (getting it) and the love goes away.

[@kayemcalimoso1614]

Why am I crying?

[@soonsims]

I have kind of lost hope that I could find this kind of love in my life ever. I am 27 and I have had 2 relationship and neither of them was a good one. I haven't even been close to that kind of love. I've been on some dates, not many but all these have been complete and utter disaster. I don't know how to keep my hope to meet a friend and companion with passion who will also feel the same for me. I feel like I either have the option to settle for a lesser love without the raw material or without the true friendship or be alone forever.

[@ratsurin]

Be Satisfied With Me Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, To have a deep soul relationship with another, To be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied, Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone, With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me. With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship, That I have planned for you. You will never be united to another Until you are united with Me. Exclusive of anyone or anything else. Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry Don't look around at things others have gotten Or that I have given them Don't look around at the things you think you want, Just keep looking off and away up to Me, Or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love Far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working even at this moment To have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me And the life I prepared for you, You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me. And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I AM God. Believe it and be satisfied" St. Anthony Padua

[@Spectrometer]

Two things: Did you discern already any form of Consecrated Vocation? Not because you can't marry but to discard that posibility. And If you are really called to marriage, it can come later, have pacience. I am also young and single, but I've heard stories of people finding their spouses in their thirties or even fourties!

[@kimsmith7212]

Don't give up. Believe it or not, you're still young. Love usually comes when you're not looking for it!

[@lauracastillo4256]

Thank you!

[@unknowntruth4366]

I don’t know if I can finish this video because I’m scared what I might realize, and it’s killing me from the inside out but I shove those thoughts and feelings deep down because I can’t hurt this person who has so much love for me, a sort of love I’ve never truly felt

[@micheleamoroso8579]

Bobby and Jackie, who is your target audience for your videos??

[@annmaryjose3589]

Love this. Thank you!

[@BramVanhooydonck]

I've recently been wondering if premarital sex is wrong and I've been reading and hearing alot of conflicting things about it. Since you mentioned the possibility of purely a sexual relationship in this video, I should ask if premarital sex is something that should be avoided or not.

[@giannazeringue6837]

The Catholic Church strongly disagrees with it and it is a mortal sin. Because sex is completion if marriage saying "i give myself entirely to you" and if you aren't married, you can't say that because you could potentially not be with that person in the future. I hope that made some sense. I recommend reading Jason Everett he explains so much better

[@giannazeringue6837]

@@messianicteachingspage yes ofc any sin offends God i was just trying to explain it from my viewpoint but yes your right

[@faithfulprofessional6886]

Yup it is wrong. (1Corinthians 6:18 Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body.) GOd created sex and made it wonderful but he prohibited it before marriage. Practically because of soul ties. Once consumed two people will be specially attached to each other (two become one) but when broken both will suffer from worst heartbreaks as one has given something they cant take back anymore. thats why its only meant for lifelong commitment (marriage) and sex is meant to seal it. One should not waste this wonderful experience to the wrong girl/guy . Check out Crystalina and Jason evertt talk about this they explain it beautifully.

[@Elijah_Al-Naysaburi]

Blessings . 💗💗💗

[@giannazeringue6837]

Hi i'm 16 and have liked the same guy for about 11 years. And i think i'm in love but how do you really know throwing in the fact that i have raging hormones? But i really do want what is best for him. He i s an altar server and i can tell how important the faith is to him which is awesome and i believe he can bring out the best in me and i in him. Are high school relationships really that bad. Bc i know i don't just like him for his looks and would practice chastity. I'm kinda ranting but just had that question. But there's more. Sometimes when I pray i feel the call to nunhood and i'm really stuck at a crossroads. I'm asking for many prayers bc i'm so confused

[@sophiagomez5619]

Pray to God that no matter what, that He will lead you to the path He wants you to go. You have to have that ignatian indifference towards a relationship with this guy and religious life, and even if you make the wrong choice, if it's not meant to be, God will show you. Trust in Him.

[@jasminedixon7960]

Praying for you god Will lead you to the right path! Because you love god and wants what he wants!

[@dotka95]

Jackie is such a beautiful woman, it is a pleasure to look at her:)))

[@Lezith456]

Hola! I would like to know what advocation of the Virgin is in the frame on the back. Gracias!

[@abusivepucho748]

All the points were definitely good! Although I believe sometimes it is a bit more complicated than If they give up and walk the door they simply don’t love you. What if they walk out but come back (short walk out)? Does that mean that the love needs more work or partially there ? Specially if the other partner has more emotional needs such as when family problems arise, or cultural differences, or simply put thinking too ahead of the future and thinking it will be too rough to handle?

[@khrievokhezhie5188]

I am blessed ..how you elaborate with bible verses in between. Thank you for this video.

[@Cpripri85]

Have yall done a video on the reality of marrige? Sex, children, alone time, etc. Not theology of the body....but the rubber meets the road advice

[@jasuelime]

I'm a little confused. People say that you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others, but then that you have to put others above yourself if you truly love them. Can someone explain this a little more? If I'm trying to take care of myself mentally and physically which causes me to not be part of everything my significant other does and not spend time with them when I need rest does this mean I'm being selfish? Where is the line? Any thoughts?

[@katarina8271]

I think that it means that taking time and good care for myself is key and basis for good and healthy relationships with others. If I'm doing everything my SO wants to please them but actually feel a big need for alone time it might eventually only cause me to be resentful towards them. Also if I am very unhappy it will affect my partner, too. On the other hand if I exclusively focus on myself it will cause a lot of pain in the relationship and might even break it. So it's all about balance and good communicaton. When I need time and some activity on my own then I should include them by communicating it in a loving and honest matter to my partner, while making sure to not neglect them by e.g. planning some time/activity with them. Long story short, putting my partners needs first will do us a lot good (in a healthy reciprocal relationship) and I can only accomplish that if I take good care of myself. I hope this is helpful to you, God bless!

[@vercammen2]

Love, sweetly warm feelings we connect to our heart are actually chemicals and hormones flooding an organ higher up our brain. It's a chemical reaction and it fades. Best bet, find someone you may be able to tolerate for 50+ years.😅

[@evarosag.8810]

💗agape love🙏

[@mbalazs3544]

nice video

[@LindseyRaiderRose]

Hope? What do you know about it...

[@marknowak]

Long before you can read the Bible or ponder quotes from Pope John Paul II you should abundantly experience sacrificial love from your parents and see them demonstrate it to each other on a daily basis. I imagine Jesus first learned how to love from his mother and father.

[@d.o.6014]

How to allow myself to be loved by God? How would that look like?

[@penguincross7897]

Prayer, reading the Word, learning more about who God the Trinity is

[@levand80]

Sounds like really perfect idea!! But what is really bothers me all the time is that Jesus didn't talk about marriage as some kind of friendship and happiness, but as something as IT IS DONE and you have to deal with it. And I cannot find anywhere instruction " how to find wife ( husband)" I mean - "you have to test and check, and go to counsellors, and then test again." Sometimes it is just happened (In the past parents forced children to get married, for example). I believe there are so many couples that did everything right, but .... but the same time looks like it is not what they were expecting. I believe, marriage is for learn how to love, not how to become happy and successful. And again did Jesus came to teach us how to be happy and successful or how to Love?

[@sarahbailey3951]

Okay I understand that it is not just a feeling and we are supposed to will the good of the other but isn’t it a two way street. Like if my boyfriend doesn’t have a job and it’s been like that for a year. Do I just accept that out of love? Or do I look for someone else who may be better? In marriage it’s different because you make a life long commitment for better or worse. I guess I feel guilty because I claimed to love my ex boyfriend but ultimately broke up because I wanted someone who could provide. Maybe I didn’t actually love him then

[@valwilliams3834]

It depends on the circumstances. If he is actively seeking, but there is just nothing there, but he's putting in all his efforts, then that is him showing love for himself and you on his part, and you supporting him during this time is showing your love for him on your part. But if he is just playing video games, not trying, maybe occasionally looking, not actually turning up or putting effort into job interviews and totally relying on you, then he is showing he is selfish, and not caring about you at all. Leaving him in this case is showing love for yourself because it puts a toll on you, and also for him because it shows you will not participate in his self-destructive behaviour. If someone did drugs and asked you for money for it would you feel bad for saying no? No. This is similar. He should be seeking to be independent. You are not his mother. Just make sure you are clear with him why you are leaving and that you totally love him.

[@sarahbailey3951]

ok, thank you for the replies. I guess the ultimate question is, was he really trying? If he was then I failed at my duty to love him. If he wasn't then he failed at his duty to love me. I'll never really know given that it was a long-distance relationship. My gut tells me that he wasn't because I never heard about his job hunt effort and never saw any fruit. He was studying for his boards, but he never passed in the three times he took it, so is he even trying there lol. I really believe in a different life we'd be together, oh well. I know I failed him, but he failed me too. sorry for writing so much