Asexuality: my Story of Self-exploration | Chantal Kelly | TEDxYouth@LAS

Chantal talks about her personal story of self-exploration and especially her discovery of her own sexuality. She discusses what asexuality is and how we can educate ourselves to be more aware as well as supportive of asexual people. The humor of her talk will leave you laughing, and the exceptional topic constitutes superb food for thought.
Chantal is a 16 year old student at Leysin American School in Switzerland. She came to LAS in 2015. Her idea is self-exploration of one's personal sexuality. She put an emphasis on asexuality, and her own story of her self-exploration.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@wiemotobie7547]

Hi guys, I'm asexual *Splits into two*

[@kit_the_inevitable]

Random Sushi nice to meet you, asexual

[@mysticnighthawk7605]

wiem o tobie *now I begin my mitosis too*

[@zashtozaboga]

hi asexual, I am dad!

[@AntonDoesMusic]

My girlfriend of 3 months is asexual, and honestly she is the most loving and affectionate person I've ever dated. Edit: we got married in Feb of 2021 and are as happy as can be!

[@wa6342]

That's is so sweet you think this way most guys don't she is very lucky .

[@HarmonicaMustang]

Asexuals may not see you or anyone else as an object of lustful desire, but that doesn't mean they can't love just as much.

[@leafychild5179]

I hope you're still together!

[@Aethelhadas]

DJ Shuffle that’s what I love about asexuality, they don’t see you as an object! 🥺

[@maemayhem08]

Good job doing research! It’s good to try to understand others! 👍

[@SweetmeatsFan]

"Emotionally it would be like washing dishes", oh I felt it to the core of my soul! xD

[@7211_]

SweetmeatsFan YES ME TOO

[@CrimsonHourglass]

I laughed because that's exactly what I compare it to as well.

[@alyssawhite3651]

Wow. Came here to say this.

[@Stranger_In_The_Alps]

That’s how I view romantic relationships 😎

[@lapepa1699]

@@Stranger_In_The_Alps why

[@EuropeanQoheleth]

Funny how she mentions that asexuals are as common as gingers since I'm both asexual and ginger.

[@rubberchicken1219]

you're the rarest out of the world then

[@jomoody798]

I wish I was ginger too.

[@EliHank]

You are a god damn unicorn. I will capture you!

[@eilindene]

me too! 😁

[@lifemarketing9876]

I'm black and asexual. That's even more rare. lol

[@letsfindsomepeace9207]

She did a ted talk at 16. I am impressed.

[@Stranger_In_The_Alps]

Ted X, not Ted. Literally anybody can do a Ted X. Just like how literally anyone can get nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. Nobel Peace prize is far less of an accomplishment than an actual Nobel prize

[@letsfindsomepeace9207]

@@Stranger_In_The_Alps dude I couldn’t speak in front of my class when I typed that comment. The fact that she’s doing it in front of everyone, on a stage, it’s so impressive to me. I don’t care if it’s Ted or Tedx.

[@cassandranaranjo2895]

Geeze, Aces always seem to feel so devastated by their lack of attraction. Almost every Ace I've seen, anywhere, expresses feelings of shame, and I just want to have an Ace group hug. Who's in?

[@gracieh4644]

Cassandra Naranjo I’m in!😁

[@starplatinumoraoraora]

Same, i don't feel close to asexual community. It's even worse than other people.

[@liammccauley3741]

Star Platinum yeah... I’m ace but I have trouble becoming a part of LGBT communities because they’re so toxic

[@mysticnighthawk7605]

Cassandra Naranjo me!

[@tijltrienen]

Me

[@destinycat6227]

asexual 100% Proud but scared to say anyting to anyone

[@P3achTree]

honestly i feel the same I don't know what to do and see many people saying asexual are just special snowflakes and don't deserve to be in the lgbtq community.

[@piratekid1]

Destiny Cat me too

[@regulargoat7259]

Nerdy Husky those people are the worst. We belong in the lgbtq-i+ group as much as we want to.

[@evyyk01]

Destiny Cat SAME! And im way past the teenage age :(

[@agustorick1]

f the haters do you

[@paull.rogers4562]

Man I wish I had this information when I was 16. I knew, but I had no information. All I knew was that I did not want sex and that my attitude twads sex was different than most.

[@laikax5115]

I am 17 and I still kind of think that I'm just too young to care about sex. But then again, I am a bit different from the people around me when it comes to sex and I don't know if it's normal, if I'm ace or if I'm just a "late bloomer"

[@paull.rogers4562]

Stay true to who you are and who you are becoming. If you feel like you are too young to care about sex, then you are. Later if and when you feel like sex is for you, you will know. There are a lot of people your age who are afraid to admit that they are not ready. So in a way you are ahead of the ones who let society and peer pressure dictate what is normal.

[@laikax5115]

Paul L. Rogers that... is just so uplifting. Thank you. I'm kind of excited to see what the future brings. Weeeee! *armflapping on a rollercoaster, which, if you think about it, might be a bad idea*

[@paull.rogers4562]

Cool. Glad I could help. Joining you with the with the armflapping rollercoaster thing. LOL! You made me smile. Thanks.

[@marion1476]

Me too.

[@wolfgirlinfinity9412]

As a wise web comic character once said: "It's okay to be single. You don't need someone to complete you. You're perfect just the way you are."

[@marazoo5323]

Wolfgirlinfinity was it the cupcake 🧁?

[@Anna-tz9go]

Which comic?

[@freddytheplatypus826]

what is perfect though? Isn't life BETTER when you have someone to share it with? Or are you going to argue that being alone is perfect if that person chooses it to be. lol ok go live on an island and see how long that lasts.

[@sophxcat]

@@freddytheplatypus826 chill

[@mariafausti3128]

@@freddytheplatypus826 wow ok

[@zoegrace9960]

God this asexual recognition just makes me so much at peace! So many people don't know about this and seems to misunderstand the real meaning behind being an ace, it's just so freaking frustrating!! Anyone who relates?

[@ladybookworms]

I didn't know this is what it's called untill recently. But I just figured I'm different and that's okay. Don't really need to be like everyone else.

[@DeezieWheezie]

When I was questioning and I read that 1% of people are asexual I thought "oh well I can't be then because it's so statistically unlikely". I'm literally ginger so clearly that thought process didn't make sense.

[@jfedorcak]

Well if you know 99 allosexuals you might as well allow yourself to take one for the team and fill the statistical hole. One in a 100 is a lot of people

[@monsieurbacteria3019]

There's more than 75 million people who are ace in this world so actually that's a lot of people lolol

[@cropper_eight]

An ace on TED!!! wow. so much visibility now

[@AsexualiseMyAsexualLife]

Hey, this is such a cool video. I am a proud heteroromantic ace - thanks for speaking out!!

[@sushil626]

Me too.

[@XtreemMetalManRedToTheBone]

Asexualise My Asexual Life you know she's asexual with that sweater

[@rx500android]

Asexualise My Asexual Life same

[@birdboy9556]

Same, dude!

[@35caliber.]

i’m a biromantic asexual, ill invite all of you over for some cake! hahaha

[@zestamore]

1% of the world is alot. Like alot alot

[@LegitkawasakiX]

Astha Thakur a bunch of people don’t like putting labels on theirselves, or being part of a niche group

[@ratburger9473]

It’s like 70 million people so yeh lol

[@charleswilliams4247]

@@ratburger9473 The same number of ppl who voted for Trump. Strange Correlation.

[@karthikayanedathodathu1337]

@@charleswilliams4247 yuck, I want nothing to do with ThAt

[@blobfishlover7667]

@@charleswilliams4247 coincidence not correlation, different things

[@mynameswhatsername6952]

I completely loved it! I am the only asexual person I know irl, although I've met others online and in the KZbin community.

[@matthewjones4423]

My name's Whatsername same here.

[@pianobooks42]

Find an LGBT group in your area! Many schools have them if you're still in school. And many bigger cities put on events (like a city near me has a prom each year for high school and college students who are LGBT). Most LGBT groups accept asexuals, and I've met 3 that way!! (In just 2 years!)

[@norafarron202]

My best friend who is the only the true friend that I have in this world is a heteromantic asexual so I feel very lucky!

[@maryamsh1006]

Me too

[@vixiebun8861]

Same 😔

[@Deepa-vh1ph]

Wow... And I thought there was something wrong with me. I m 32. Though, I never in my life, allowed anyone to force me to get into relationship. I told them... I m weird. I don't want this. But now I know it's not weird. It's something that can happen, there r other people like me. So it's ok to feel happy being me 😁

[@DK-kr3tp]

Heyy, Are you Indian?. I can't to walk you talking about. Its even harder, if you are in a culture where marriage and having kids is a big deal.

[@neerusillay224]

@You- know-who go get a job then you can live alone . Suicide is not for a warrior like you. I know you can handle every situation after all you are a creation of God. I trust you, God trust you. You are alone enough to fight this world...

[@Tan-ps3dg]

@@DK-kr3tp I am an Indian and I completely agree with what you say. I recently discovered that I'm asexual but I am definitely worried about coming out to my parents. I know they won't understand it. They would probably say it's because I haven't found the person yet or that I'll probably start liking them after I get married. In India especially as a woman it's hard because getting married is considered as a necessity here.

[@shaliniyadav7256]

@@Tan-ps3dg I'm also worry about this thing .I don't know how my parents will react when they know about me?

[@mintok4407]

This was a pretty relieving video to watch as a 13 year old who is confused and thinks that she may be ace

[@35caliber.]

Minto K i wish u good luck!! i figured out that i was on the ace spectrum when i was 13, too. i’m 15 going on 16 now :-)

[@pillbobaggins2766]

some advice from someone who just turned 25: it's OK if you realise later that you are not ace, it doesn't mean you were looking for attention. your feelings are 100% valid. don't feel pressured to say you're this or that or to be "sure".

[@alzbetanagyova4015]

Im having the same problem rn hah

[@FiveOClockTea]

At 13 it could also be, that you're a late bloomer or maybe demisexual :-) But in any case it's really helpful to know these alternatives exist:-)

[@WitchOnABroomstick]

welcome ;-)

[@jotunfalls4026]

I love her, so much. Many have told me I'm "too young to know", yet here stands a girl my age talking about the exact things i experience.

[@fiflag]

This was amazing! I love hearing about other people’s journeys of figuring out they are and coming out as asexual because, as an aro ace identifying person, its nice to be able to reassure myself that there are other people like me out there, as I’m the only asexual and aromantic person i know IRL.

[@regulargoat7259]

Full-ace digital highfive

[@EL-gu8fv]

Oh there are a good lot of us out there!

[@schneidermartin9673]

Tesla was asexual, Kant and Newton also.

[@lifemarketing9876]

So was Jesus

[@schneidermartin9673]

Yes, i also think so. One can not be spiritually advanced if one is only looking for sex.

[@liesje1014]

Didnt jesus have a gf?

[@liesje1014]

Maria magdalena?

[@liesje1014]

@nafisah نفيسة yeah I know, just asked to be sure😂

[@adam.muzzik]

@ 33 y/o I wish I had this info when I was a teenager...

[@evasummer5240]

Adam Christopher me too😊

[@Astronomater]

41 and same. would have saved me so much grief.

[@lifemarketing9876]

25 years old.....didn't know this existed until I was like 22. lol

[@niennav.7741]

Adam Christopher same here, life would have being so much easier

[@biboba604]

I'm curious, what was life like before?

[@shivanivij9533]

I am romantic but asexual

[@skumarsk927]

Yes, I am too. I want someone who can understand us such people who are kept aside in our society.

[@rosephoeniix]

This is beautiful, and it's so wonderful to see so many fellow aces in the comments! I hope she sees this and reads all the comments from proud and grateful people in her own community!!

[@mysticnighthawk7605]

Ikr I want to reply to everyone's comments so I can talk to lots of aces

[@FreyasArts]

So many people in the comments saying they are ace AND Ginger- starting to think there's a connection xD

[@aghaaahshiiiiiiikeiji6726]

but i think gingers are cute really cute

[@hopechr]

-well if they're ginger and not ace or ace and not ginger they wouldnt comment it now would they-

[@silvanasoleen1705]

To a hetero in the pity group: well, how do *you* know you're not bi/pan if you never "tried" it? ^^

[@khiahahaha]

Lol thats when you find out 😂 its the same concept as allergy. You never know until you have that reaction. 🙌

[@azumarill964]

They would never tell "You haven´t tried it so you don´t know" to someone that says they are straight.

[@nocx7065]

How do you know that you don’t want to be punched if you never tried it? Same logic. Or ever tried hugging a cactus? It might be great! You just never experienced it :D

[@shelbyspeaks3287]

How do you know you don't like jumping off of buildings??? 😱

[@dirtyx4241]

why does this look like it was filmed in the 80's?

[@niagurl4072]

Iconic Unicorn right? I thought this was old. I was surprised to see that this was from 2016

[@user-bw9yo5cx8z]

are you blind

[@salomekabinga3282]

@@user-bw9yo5cx8z 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@wynnjohnson9505]

Niagurl40 ok

[@wynnjohnson9505]

Niagurl40 ok

[@hallowhyena]

I'm aromantic asexual :)

[@heejiniswatchingyou1845]

aashbluee yay!!

[@Udontkno7]

Same! :)

[@immortaljellyfish2865]

Lol. ME TOO. Its amazing

[@anuskaagarwal9356]

same

[@EL-gu8fv]

Same!

[@TwitchyMoth]

I'm on the asexual spectrum and this is awsome

[@mysticnighthawk7605]

Noel Linné 🍰

[@dumpsterfire3214]

Same

[@nab.7250]

🍰 ⚪️💜⚫️

[@mothereric8774]

More ace role models! Also aven where are you at?

[@mysticnighthawk7605]

MotherEric ikr I need more ace role models I can never get enough

[@waaey4925]

Nikola Tesla and Sir Isaac Newton were two great men believed to be asexual.

[@isbammoi3358]

I'm so happy there is a Ted talk about this! It makes me happy ^^

[@swarmay]

Glad to find tedx on asexuality topic. More people should come out and speak about it. In India hardly people know what is asexuality. When i tell people i am asexual, they say it is not possible. I just laugh at their ignorance.

[@bhuvneshkumar5925]

Hello

[@misstique4005]

Are you Bengali?

[@lifechoices6643]

Sexuality is a very personal thing.And as long as you are not imposing yourself on someone it's valid.

[@moi4791]

I really loved this talk! I’m so glad more and more aces start talking about their own experiences, it really helps :)

[@gorgeouslady5612]

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS AND I AM 50 YEARS OLD!.

[@Acinogara]

If I would have believed that Asexuality is a thing back when I was 16 life would have been so much easier haha

[@organizedcream7387]

i wish I could know what’s going on when I was 13… I struggled for years and finally find out when I was 24

[@el2617]

I cant express how much this video means to me I am 14 and I have been wondering what was wrong with me since I was 9ish. This has helped me so much to know that at this point I am Ace and even if I grow and change that's fine. Thank you

[@nuclear_mist2333]

It's a shame that people avoid talking or mentioning asexuality in media simply because it isn't interesting for other people. Other talks get million+ views where talks about asexuality barely get 100k. I just can't wait for the time when people stop treating asexuality as a kind of mental illness

[@Variane-zg3lr]

Watching this as a 13 year old makes much more confident

[@paulziolo9241]

Asexuality is a great source of power. Asexuals have the capacity to become cultural cara,ysts, not just - like 99% of the human race - a breeding substrate. Historically, it was the asexuals in our civilisation who catalysed a recursively self-enhancing, scientific-technological culture, be as you are, Chantal. You are fantastic - may the Force be with you!

[@Daturamoon777]

AWWWWWW

[@EL-gu8fv]

Young people are fortunate to have the information. I was 54 before I knew what I was. Then everything clicked into place

[@animatorkiwiblackfootedfer6328]

Pretty nice talk here! I'm glad people who are ace themselves talk about many things about being ace, and seeing some talk on TedTalk.. Is pretty refreshing. I'm not ace.. But that doesn't matter.. some people need to be validated, and this is a great start! :0>

[@regulargoat7259]

mmmnnn I'm full-ace (that is, asexual and aromantic) but I haven't been able to tell my parents

[@cheorry3141]

Off topic but she’s so cute wtf

[@rishikart10]

Beautiful talk .. I can totally relate with this❤️

[@seekingsolace]

Chantal Kelly is such an inspiration!

[@shawnr8425]

You go, Chantal!!

[@meanymhee7551]

I'm 45 and I never heard about Asexuality... Only read on a comment section, and found myself finding it's meaning on Google that brought me on this video... And it seems, I found myself to this category... 😉😉.. At 45, still wondering why I am like this... And I thought I am a Bi.. 🤔

[@blackwidow9032]

Maybe you are biromantic? That's being asexual, but you're romantically attracted to both men and women

[@MiMiLaXMiMi]

I’m aroace, I also thought i was bi for a while, cause 0=0 right? It’s actually a pretty common story 😂

[@pallavimvutharkar9460]

This video gives me so much happiness

[@Missrobot928]

I'm asexual and proud

[@taniesha945]

Thank you for this !

[@scheimaa172]

She looks like the main character in space brothers anime.

[@elninojc3470]

So good..I am not alone..

[@mirandarichard122]

Powerful video

[@harriet3413]

I'm asexual and ginger I think I'm a paradox 😨

[@99xara99]

Why a paradox? Just an uncommon case.

[@FrogEnjoyer17]

You are the 0,01%

[@AlexK-df5to]

Me too!!

[@latishawomack194]

What is ginger?

[@ci690]

@@latishawomack194 It is about hair color, I suppose. (But I'm not quite sure)

[@kriyanshishah]

Great talk.❤️

[@kbye3283]

Hey fellow aces :) ♠️⬜️⚪️💜

[@PulsarPuppy]

Ace Aro here!☆♡☆♡

[@marion1476]

Brave young lady, I wish I've had those guts in my sixteen too, I would have avoided much misery. But as they say "Better late than never"

[@emilybishop1080]

Wow I'm really glad you found out so early. I'm almost 18 and I just found out that I'm not alone. And im still trying to feel comfprtable with it.

[@TrevanneFoxton]

I’ve recently discovered that I was asexual. The only person I told was my mother and she’s very supportive.

[@beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470]

I wonder if aromatic asexual people are less stressed. Partner worries are a huge chunk of an average person's woes. Interesting thought.

[@beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470]

I mean overall and in a comparable situation. I know theres still stress about other things,

[@crowspears3265]

I know this is from three years ago, but many life factors can cause stress. Being aromantic/asexual often comes with the side effect of discrimination and being misunderstood or not accepted by loved ones, so stress is still pretty common among certain individuals I'd say.

[@unegirafebleue]

For me, I was very worried of coming out, being constantly gaslight by my parents and afraid of rejection… And I struggle with being Aromantic because I didn’t accept yet that I can’t fall in love like in those beautiful fairytales, and that I’ll have trouble finding someone like me. So this is really difficult x) And I think that partner worries, in my external opinion, are really nothing (even if there are some serious cases, most of the time they just wanna find someone else asap). Like, romantic relationships are not the most important ones, friends and family are often essential. It’s hard to loose a partner, but I feel that death, abuse, trauma, betrayal, anxiety… Are much more than partner worries. Sorry for being this honest, it’s just my opinion x)

[@lilperidot8783]

Aaaaw! She's so good!

[@Phoenix_flame]

Girl, I feel you. I also found out around the age of 13, but it hasn't been nearly as long as 3 years, it's only been like, 2 months... XD

[@rorysmith3300]

Zninja 1162 me too but I am also aromantic

[@lettuceforlife4827]

Proud ace here ✌🏻

[@vitochirco6078]

She's having a good time!

[@louisastone3510]

My best friend just insists that it's just too statistically unlikely to be true for me... And I'm not telling anyone else because people just think it's some sort of weird phase and "the right one will come along". I can't cope with people telling me that.

[@lunchtime6276]

5:43 AMEN SISTER

[@sketchyskies8531]

I love it

[@stazthesun]

This girl is speaking straight facts

[@paigelewallen9121]

i think she’s speaking queer facts lol

[@paulasanders508]

3:40 „The people that didn’t lose their Virginity were considered losers“ how ironic

[@fangirlfanatic8507]

AroAce and proud!

[@Ts90911]

Bravo !!

[@azulceleste5462]

I thought I had a problem. But now I know what I have.

[@juliawilson5334]

Biromantic Asexual and proud! 💜🖤

[@Cassy858]

ayyyy where my platonic loving asexuals at???

[@TheGirlyAllDay]

biromantic asexual here 💓

[@sketchyskies8531]

Same

[@kekem823]

Homoromantic Ace here

[@millywernerus149]

same here!

[@AhsanKhan-eo8dv]

Yo dudes 💜😂

[@llxmxgaming238]

Me too! (lol I'm 3 years late)

[@naturalinstinct4950]

support from a fellow ace, buddy

[@karenKristal]

wow very eloquent

[@ni-kichick]

I'm asexual

[@amberfaith3196]

Same I purple you 💜

[@Sippingteasince]

Ayooo samee

[@AridetothemuseumFtknj]

I am too

[@weewaa13]

Big mood with the last crush in elementary school thing XD

[@mavisdom-animeonpiano]

WeeWaa13 I never answered lmao

[@SakshiSharma-ve5kh]

I am a ginger and good to know that there are more gingers out there😄😄

[@misstique4005]

What's a ginger?

[@yongamer]

Im (M24) an asexual, but thought I was hetero up to this year.

[@camryhsalem5139]

As i am getting older and older and older I feel it is very very nice to be neutral.

[@r.s.fletcher7066]

Where my aces at? ;-)

[@antoniocorsetti3222]

Hello saitama didn’t know you were ace too

[@Maijorsam]

She's so confident and cool what a awesome 16 year old haha

[@premapoojitanananda7947]

👌❤️

[@alidagupta540]

Oh my God when I tried to come out to my mom she joined the pity group

[@briankelly7292]

💞

[@saigeking1485]

This person sounds both asexual and aromantic, though I'd never put a label on another person. Loved this ♡

[@caribaez5711]

saige king what is aromantic?

[@just_fork]

@@caribaez5711 that's when you don't experience romantic attraction

[@im_just_vidu]

Washing dishes is the best metaphor 🤣

[@casualdavid3321]

Hetero romantic asexual :)

[@piyushkumar-ms8xi]

well I found it out when I was 22

[@chantalacosta7889]

Bruh I was searching what asexual is and bruh found this and she has the same name as me 💀

[@shrexyeverafter]

biromantic asexual and proud 😂

[@gmchessplay9043]

Freud would have something to say about this whole discussion.

[@livetra168]

Biromantic Asexual over here

[@JS392]

Proud asexual flux here