Ask Emily : Is It OK to Talk to Ex-Boyfriends?

[@nastassjam9168]

From my experiences, I believe that cutting off contact is the only way to heal and move on. It's one of the hardest things in the world, but completely necessary. And time- taking it day by day. Then you wake up one day and realize that it doesn't hurt anymore.

[@emwilss]

So. true. Thanks for the wisdom!

[@reedmorace904]

I recently broke up with my (ex) boyfriend and we decided to be “best friends” still. Bad idea. About 2 weeks after we broke up he ended up telling me that he went on a date with another girl. That’s absolutely crushed me. That was about 2 days ago that he told me that. It left me feeling abandoned, unwanted, traded. I keep having these images in my head of my ex doing what he used to do with me, with other girls, and that crushes me more than anything. When he told me a couple of days ago that he was seeing other girls, I knew that the whole “best friends” thing wasn’t going to work out. And with the strength of God I have come to accept exactly what you’ve said, Emily. I can’t move on and heal properly when I continue to talk to my ex. So now I am praying for God to change my emotions from “I’m so sad that I can’t be friends with my ex” to “I am going to use this time without any distractions (because I know that being friends with my ex would be a painful distraction) to get closer than ever with God so I can look forward to the future.”

[@Sara-kb9lo]

Cut them out girls. No need for drama or any ties. Some people might say it's immature but it is not. Your protecting your heart from being hurt again. Plus you don't need fall again for someone who isn't the one. It didn't work the first time for a reason. Don't try to force something that isn't meant to be. Protect your heart. Stay pure. You won't regret it . May you all blessed. ❤️❤️❤️

[@Wulfbloode]

I think that the best way to go about a break up is to cut off contact. Defriend on social media (not out of spite but out of need to distance). Delete phone number. Remove together pictures on your social media. Anything that is hurting you, get rid of it. And REVISIT the relationship through writing on fresh paper: write about the 1 good things you miss and the 2 bad things you aren't there for anymore. Write 3 vivid memories in your mind that won't go away. Write down 4 anything that you have stuck in your head and write about 5 everything that you felt and do feel. It will free you to really explore your heart and mind and to get those things out of your head. Acknowledge that it happened, be okay with cherishing it or hating it, and embrace the present. Personally, I did keep pictures from my relationships that are in my annual photo albums, just like I keep my journals. My ex-relationships have not been erased from my life; they just have found their place.

[@daniellearendse5348]

Wow! This is literally so acurate to me right now. 5 months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We go to the same church so it was so difficult to heal. I moved churches and we weren't in communication but recently he got into contact with me and old wounds opened up. I can tell that from the moment he started texting me, I felt so far from God once again. But now after watching this video I now know that being in contact with him is not going to benefit us at all and being friends with him in this season is not the right thing. Thank you for this

[@imeldamuchlove]

God's timing amazes me, because my relationship of over 9 years ended last week, and it's so difficult to not talk to someone who was your go-to-guy and best friend. We broke up after taking a break that revealed to us we lived life more fully apart than together, which pierces my heart, but at the same time, we both wanted the other to be happy, healthy, and grow. We said we'll still be friends, but both knew that we really shouldn't talk for a while so we don't fall back into the cycle. And this video helped remind me that I am on the right track, and that it's okay to take time for myself to heal first, then I can move on.

[@mollykate9656]

I truly cannot express how much I love and appreciate your videos

[@andih4096]

So thankful you posted this...my unbeliever boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, and he wanted to "stay friends" so he could "work on himself" so we could date later on. It took a solid week of prayer, introspection (and over-analyzing texts), and misery to realize that what he was essentially saying was, "I need time to figure out whether this is what I want." I just couldn't do it, so I decided that no contact was best just last night. I feel like staying in contact with exes usually happens to "fill the void" that you feel when you break up. I feel that going no contact and truly feeling "the void" and going to God in a very vulnerable and difficult time is the best way to truly heal. Just my two cents. Praying for you, Emily! You do amazing things.

[@quinoasongs2507]

Some points: a break-up is a death with no funeral. Expect to go through all the grief stages. This situation looks like denial. - "still friends" initially means that you don't hold any hard feelings towards each other and your mutual friends do not need to take sides. It doesn't mean you can go back to what you were before you started dating. There are situations where you can't not be in contact with an ex; you may go to church together, you may work together, you may be in the same school. Maybe that needs to be addressed. I highly recommend at least a year to remain single after a break-up to properly heal, and re-evaluate the relationship and your life. Thanks Emily. I am not Catholic, but I am a Christian; of the Anabaptist side.

[@melly24xoxo]

Thank you for the video Emily. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years and we broke up about 5 months ago. Since it was a long distance relationship we used to always text each other all the time so it scared me a lot to not having us talking anymore. So I thought that maybe I wouldn't hurt so much if we kept talking but it was actually making me feel worse as it was like nothing had changed between us except that we weren't together anymore. He wanted to keep talking to me. So I set myself a goal and told him that I would stop talking to him for at least a week and that I will see how this would go. After a week I realized that it wasn't that bad and that not having him text me and waiting for him to text me was so much better. I was able to focus on my feelings and myself which is what I really needed after all of this relationship ended. One week turned into two weeks turned into a month and it's now been five months and I can tell that I made the right decision. I am not saying it was easy but it definitely helped the healing and moving on.

[@maunavrrt4046]

I dated a guy for 3 years, and thought we were gonna get married. When we broke up, I literally felt like I was going to die. I had gotten used to talking to this person for 3 years EVERY SINGLE DAY. How could I cut off communication? Well, the first few days it was impossible. But after a week or so, I realized it was the ONLY way I could help myself to face my reality, and begin my grieving and healing processes. Once we stopped seeing each other in person, I decided to delete him from my social media, so that I wouldn't be hurt every time I saw one of his posts. (Can anyone relate to the thought "ugh how does he look so happy? He moved with his life while I'm here crying")? Well, it's been a little more than a year since we broke up, and he have seen each other twice in social events, and we are both nice and civilized with one another. I decided to add him back even if we don't "talk", and it's been chill. BUT DON'T RUSH YOUR HEALING PROCESS! You need time.

[@catrinagutierrez]

Emily! QUESTIOOON: I know a relationship should be a training for marriage, but how to live this preparation without getting "mentally" married? I am in a beautiful relationship these days, living in chastity and surrendered to God. My boyfriend has lately told me that he has considered me to be his wife in the future (we are young still). I have already been in this situation, believing that my boyfriend will be my husband.... but I think I start to act like if I am already married with the guy and then, when everything ends it REAALLYYY hurts. Thank u!! From Bogotá- Colombia, with love (sorry for my english)

[@emilyderby5814]

I absolutely agree that it's not a good thing to keep in contact. I did that with an ex boyfriend and it ended recreating an emotional bond that God had broken before. I realized after I cut it off again that I was talking to him out of my own loneliness and need for attention--not because I genuinely needed/wanted him as a friend. I think eventually he and I can talk and be friends but I dont expect it to be any time soon--and we've been broken up for almost 2 years. I think it takes a lot of trusting God and surrendering everything to him in the process of cutting off an ex and not speaking anymore. It's also important to remember that God doesn't want you to do something hard like that alone and he is there to help you and give you self control and everything that you need in order to successfully heal and move on.

[@andreyna5013]

Thank You Emily! Everything you mention I did about 3-4year ago, when my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. He wanted to be friend but I decided not to talk to him. We both go to the same church and I placed a huge distance between us. At first it was hard because I still had feeling for him but I prayed to God to heal my heart and slowly God helped me and I got closer to God. As women we take more time to heal and get our emotions together/straight. Its not easy but not impossible. I moved on forward to the future not the past! :)

[@alrice509]

My ex and I were in irregular communication after we broke up for months. Just when I thought I was starting to heal and move on, he would text or call me. Finally after about 8 months, I was able to truly heal! It was hard for me to listen to this when my friends were saying it to me a year ago, now I'm the one spreading this message!

[@cocodakilla]

lol read baggage reclaim... when they realize you might be doing better and stuff they suddenly want to know. hate guys who do this!

[@katycallaghan5972]

i just got out of a relationship that i KNEW from the beginning was not good for me, or for my relationship with God. i was pushing God, my family and my friends so far away that by the time the relationship ended it felt like my whole life was over & i had no one. i'm still picking up the pieces, but i now value my relationship with God more than ever & put all my faith in that He knows what is best for me and WHO is best for me :) trust in the Lord for he is good ! ☼

[@cassandrareed6744]

This concept is the worst feeling in the whole world. My bf and I broke off our long distance relationship and haven’t talked for over a month now. (There were many reasons why we broke up, and now that we’re apart I️ realize how much was lacking in my relationship) but It kills me that I can’t text him cause I️ know I’ll be hindering his healing process and I just want what’s best for him. I stare at my phone and cry cause I just want to tell him about my day, tell him something exciting happened, talk to him when I’m upset or know what he’s up to and how he’s feeling ect... my aunt had a great suggestion to delete his number and everything so i couldn’t contact him even if i wanted to; I had a moment of strength and did it... then I literally fell to the floor and cried like an infant cause I want him back so badly. Emily, I don’t know how to cope with this perpetual pain anymore. I don’t see a future for myself anymore because he was my future. We dated for 2.5 years and we were gonna get married. How can you love someone so deeply who is wrong for you? We changed, we grew apart and I’m mad at God for it.

[@TinaLeighh]

I actually had to block this guy because I couldn't handle seeing a text from him. It ended so horribly I wanted to cut off all communication. But then I had another relationship where we started out as friends and then started dating and after almost 3 years of dating we broke up. It was really hard but it was the right decision, we talk occasionally but we both are in new relationships now. Thanks for another great video!

[@lalalandgirl226]

Wow. Just yesterday I realized I have to make the decision of staying in touch with my ex. We've been done for over a year and communicate pretty much daily and I refuse to cut of contact because the pain of not having him in my life (after having him for so long and him being my best friend) is just too much. It's something I don't know how to deal with and I can't not see him in my life. Apparently he's having feelings for someone else at the moment but still keeps around (he knows I'm in love with him still). It's just a very confusing thing for my feelings and you uploaded this the morning after. I'm in shock.

[@taylordavis3814]

this video is so on time I literally called my ex boyfriend yesterday and the feeling that I had when he answered it was just a plethora of emotion and I want so badly to be friends and to hang on and to have that relationship we once had but I know that I'm still hurt by it and just seeing this video it makes me understand that it is okay for me to be like I can't talk to you right now because I need time to heal and he doesn't understand that he things that I can just keep talking to him like nothing happened but I need to stop talking to him and move on and thank you so much for giving this advice it really really helps

[@cassandrafischer8662]

Great video, Emily! I found your advice very true for my first ex boyfriend. I really wanted to remain friends with him, but when I stepped back, I realized I needed to cut off all contact from him. It wasn't a good relationship, and there was no way he was going to change his behavior. However, I also feel that it depends on the relationship as well (granted what I'm going to describe is very, very rare and I realize that). My second relationship ended after several long talks between me and my then boyfriend. We both realized that God wasn't calling us to marriage, but found that our friendship was still strong. We didn't spend that much time away from each other before reconnecting just as friends. I think part of this was because we were in the same major (thus in several classes and projects together), but we also saw that we helped each other through so much and we both didn't want to lose that; we even acknowledged this before we ended our relationship. I'm not going to deny that it wasn't awkward for a bit, but timing is definitely everything and I thank God for putting him in my life :)

[@ashleyhigginson5675]

I had been with my bf for 6 months, gave him too many husband privileges, going against my morals, and I (ME) decided to end it, even when I knew 3 months in it wasn't a "forever" thing. We have been apart longer than we dated now, and I still (just last week) messaged him out of the blue because he was on my mind, and I thought this was a "sign"!!! Like, WHAT!?!? I think so-called signs are also a difficult thing to come to terms with, and being vulnerable and impulsive is not healthy either!! I appreciate all the information you shared in this video and I wish I could have watched it months ago when I thought I'd never get through this... I know in my heart I am not ready for another relationship yet, even when guys ask me out, but I think you're so right, that with time, hearts heal. I am so annoyed that I kept trying to "win" his attention back, but I now, after this video, am going to solidly say "no" to that path towards him, and open my next door forward. Thank you Emily

[@JoshMcSwain]

I discovered your channel a couple days ago, really enjoying it so far. From my perspective, I think the whole friends with exes thing is mostly nonsense. I think there's just the lingering hope of getting back together always present which messes things up. Hollywood has put this notion in people's heads. But moreover I think people don't ever want to say that they don't want to see the other anymore so they use this as a cop out and just avoid the other person.

[@valeriavelazco3065]

Getting a small bit of this advice on your email back in December was wonderful

[@AwesomeTinyHobbit]

I agree with this so much!!! 98% of the time it’s just not possible to be friends. It’s also important that if you tell someone “Keeping in touch with you is hurting me” then you are firm in that- my roommate’s ex boyfriend has continued to pester her about wanting to talk, etc but she keeps giving in and talking to him even though their conversations don’t bring closure or healing. I dated one guy for about a month and then we both agreed it was better for us to not date. During the breakup we decided we would stay friends, since we would likely see each other frequently after that. However, the next time I saw him I just knew it wasn’t possible. Certainly you can be civil and friendly to exes, but that close connection is gone and seeking out them is not a good idea

[@kaybee2798]

I don’t talk to any of my exes, either it’s because there’s just no point or they are toxic people and if we have an unhealthy relationship we’re going to have an unhealthy friendship. but honestly FOR ME PERSONALLY it’s just unnecessary💁🏽‍♀️ pick yourself up LEARN. GROW. and MOVE ON.💘

[@meghanredd846]

It took me awhile to figure this out. I kept in contact with my ex for 2 months after breaking up. All my friends said that I needed to cut off contact, but I couldn't do it. We talked a few times for hours, which ended up hurting me even more. But as soon as we stopped talking, my heart healed a lot quicker, and I felt so much freer.

[@rachelvinski3417]

Love this and wish I took this advice about a year ago. Got out of a 4 year relationship and wanted to be friends with my ex while we both went off to college. I thought he would be fine when I told him about my new boy friend at college. Not only did I hurt him by telling him that but I didn't allow myself to heal before I got into a new relationship. Recently I am single and trying to heal from two broken relationships instead of one because I didn't allow Christ to heal me. Come Holy Spirit bring us some healing ❤️

[@daniellobrandjello]

i've had 2 past experiences where i was broken up with, then probably didn't talk to them for a while, and finally talked it out and now i'm still really really good friends with them both. dare i say even best friends. healing is very important and i think it's safe to say i've had lots of healing

[@faithdubois2401]

I recently got out of a relationship and he called me petty for wanting to avoid places where I know he'd be but I know that seeing him would keep me from healing and moving on...

[@taylorclay2122]

I have cut contact with someone I dated for 6 years for a number of reasons that I will not go into. With that being said though I am still friends with a friend that I dated for awhile. We both agreed from the beginning that if it wasn't working we'd just walk away. We both took the time to walk away from one another, and then decided to continue our friendship. I am so glad we did, he has been there through some very hard times in my life as nothing more than a friend (he's like a brother) and I wouldn't change it for the world. We're always there for each other but we both have a concrete understanding of what our friendship is. I hope that makes sense. I also cut contact with another person I dated because it just wasn't a healthy situation. I've dated sure, but I have only been in 3 somewhat long relationships, and in only 1 of those we stayed friends in the end.

[@vonniejennell]

I loved all your advice in this video! I wish I'd heard this while I was going through my very long, drawn-out breakup. I've learned that if you are getting out of a toxic relationship, keeping in touch with him is only going to allow him to continue poisoning all the progress you've made in your healing. One thing though, when you said that you shouldn't stay tied up in a previous relationship because other guys don't like that... Personally, if I want to keep my ex in my life it's because I'm hoping we'll get back together. I'm not anticipating someone better for me. And saying, "You shouldn't stay emotionally invested in a past relationship because good men don't like that" shifts the focus from what is best for the girl to what is most attractive to other men, which shouldn't be the priority even if she were looking for another relationship. Just wanted to point that out! I love your videos, and I truly appreciate all of your uplifting, encouraging advice. So many girls don't have anyone to teach them these things, so I love that you can be that voice of wisdom to anyone who needs it!🙏

[@alanavisagie1314]

I had a relationship about two years ago, we ended badly but before we dated we were friends and I wanted to be friends again, because not only did I lose someone I truly loved I lost my best friend. But so on I kept his number I was still friends with him on Facebook. And I remembered all the times my roommate would comfort me for crying last year because he posted this or that photo with girls and it broke my heart, even though I knew he wasn't punishing me and I have struggled to get over him for a very long time. About two months ago I decided I needed things to change and I needed to start moving on this isn't helping me at all and I deleted his number and from facebook so I wouldn't be tempted. Truthfully it was the best decision that I have made in my life and I don't regret it one bit. This video just helped me realise I did something right towards getting myself back and not always thinking about the past. Thank you for all your video's they are very inspiring.

[@taenotswift98]

I literally just saw me ex boyfriend for lunch yesterday after a year of being apart and not communicating...maybe a few times...but rarely. I realized I had healed when I was sitting across from him and it felt like we were just good friends from the past. When memories didn't flood in and make me emotional, I knew I had healed. I want to give a tid bit of advice as well... If you are meeting up with an ex and strictly want to be friends again and rebuild that, it will take time to have that old relationship back. I didn't communicate with him for a year. Also when you do meet I would suggest keeping it brief because memories and old feelings can take over. I met for lunch with him for an hour and a half and we went our separate ways. Keep it brief and form that friendship again.

[@phantasmamonkey9357]

My ex bf isn't allowed to contact me (at least on campus) because he stalked me and harrassed my friends the week I was sick. I was heartbroken in the relationship and breaking up with him made me almost instantly happy, happier than I'd been in over 2 years spent with him. Girls in similar situations should remember that if the breakup was because he didn't treat you well means you shouldn't be friends. Friends don't treat you that way, and neither should boyfriends.

[@tayloraldape24]

This video truly opened my eyes and gave me reason to rethink the post-dating relationship i'm in with my ex. thank you for sharing your thoughts!!

[@Mayliving]

Your are such a blessing! I love all the true beauty and love you are spreading in this world which is God! 💗💗💗

[@TheGeekApprentice]

This is very true! Depending on the relationship, friendship may not be possible. My first ex, we didn't date long, but it took a good two years before we began a friendship again. By that point he and I had dated other people, and then we ended up in the same major and were in a lot of small classes together. Now, I consider him a good friend! However, there was another relationship that I was very invested in and it was almost a year of dating...that time, I just needed to cut him off. It depends, it really does. But so true, let yourself heal and move on first!!! :)

[@elizabethb.292]

I would agree that it would be easier to cut off communication and move on. In my situation, when breaking up with my boyfriend a year ago I knew prior to our break up he has signs of depression which only worsened after we ended things. So I felt like if I didn't stay friends with him he would be gone and I thought that would bring a bad reputation on me. So for the past year I've gotten him the help he needed and am trying to move on and it's hard but this video made me realize it will be worth it!

[@teddybear8245]

My ex-boyfriend is the one who's hanging on. We saw each other in person for the first time in 6 months; I agreed to the meeting, because I knew I had moved on and I trusted myself to keep my heart in check. Buutttt.....he poured out his heart and revealed his plan to be friends for 3 months; after this deadline he would see if we could rekindle a relationship. To which I replied, "No"....and he heard "Maybe." Now he's trying very hard to "win me back"---literally his words---and I'm so afraid to break his heart yet again. The thing preventing me from blocking his number, etc. is that I am the only person who knows about an addiction he's battling. I suppose I'm scared he will relapse if I pull the rug from under him. With these thoughts, I'm basically sitting in inaction and indecisiveness.

[@veronicamarrinan7275]

Yes!! Thank you so much for this video, Emily! I think too that cutting off communication after a breakup allows us to invest in friendships we may have let fall to the wayside during a relationship that wasn't right for us. And those friendships are often the ones we need most at those times! Once you're broken up, if you're still communicating with an ex it can be so hard not to let your life be run by the expectations they had of you or trying to maintain space for them to maybe enter into your life again. Also a lesson I learned when I finally cut ties was that often you can't see how unhealthy a relationship may have been until you're finally away from it. I think you're so smart to share that we all need that space to reorient ourselves and reflect on the reality of where we want to go in our lives after a breakup.

[@bbruno288]

I am literally going through that right now! On May 16th I broke up with my boyfriend because he was asking other girls inappropriate things, getting nudes from other girls, and trying to pressure me to have sex with him and I couldn't handle the stress anymore. He keeps texting me and I didn't want to annoy you but I was actually planning on asking you that. Thank you so much. Your videos have really helped me through my previous relationships and through this breakup. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. I love you and your videos soooooo much

[@alexkaufmann3671]

Emily this is so spot on. I broke up with my boyfriend last year and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I wanted to stay in contact with him, but he was the one that shut the door and said that we shouldn't talk and give each other space. It broke my heart even more, but I'm so thankful he did that. By staying out of each other's lives, my heart has healed in so many ways and I definitely have been able to move on.

[@cheese8987]

no. it's not. you broke up for a reason, it's better to just never talk to them again before you do something you will regret

[@LOTR1997]

I have had the hardest time moving on from my ex boyfriend because we were such close friends before we started dating and because he is so eager to keep in contact because of that and because I struggle so much with saying no and rejecting him due to missing him. Please sisters, pray God gives me strength to cut him out of my life completely!

[@lissietorres6437]

I love this and completely agree. I just went through a breakup and emily gave me this advice shortly after it occurred. Her advice helped me so much after that happened and I'm so grateful for it!

[@jackieelizondo8458]

I've recently had to experience something like this! I totally agree with you.. I had to really think about how much it was hurting me to keep in contact and how that was hindering my progress of healing. It is definitely a painful process but you see the Lord in those moments! Thank you so much for this video. It's such a great reminder!

[@xxLivexxLovexx4Ever]

100% agree. I had to be in some contact because we both Sevres in the same ministries at church however, we still kept close contact. We tried beings friends and such still and I was broken for a year without realizing because I was hoping it would change and analyzed everything he did trying to figure out what it meant, exactly as you said. The minute I decided enough was enough and I cut him off as much as I possibly could, I truly began to heal and that didn't take as long. I could have been so much better so much sooner if I chose to take the proper time to heal and get past it but I delayed my healing for so long and it only made the pain worse!! Take this advice, it's spot on! It hurts to cut them off but it hurts more to keep it strung.

[@calmcomb7603]

It is especially crushing when your boyfriend breaks up with you. It's really hard to understand and it happened to me months ago. He said he wanted to be friends and I agreed but we both slowly realized that wouldn't work either. We haven't talked since. From my experience, it was really really painful but I found comfort in knowing that I was just supposed to just let my self feel sad and that time would heal me. I can say now that I'm about the happiest I have ever been in my teenage years and I have good friends and family to keep me grounded. No communication with an ex is 100% worth it. Promise.

[@calmcomb7603]

Pray and ask God to take people out of your life who aren't supposed to be there. His timing is perfect. Trust that and be patient. Also (very important) know that you don't owe this person anything. You should unfollow their social media within a certain amount of days after your breakup. This all ties in with self awareness.

[@vonniejennell]

🙌YESS, exactly.

[@jessicacarpenetti6479]

This is so true because I have been on the bad side of this. As a naive 15/16 year old, I had already been unhealth-ily attached to this guy that broke up with me, who then drug out my feelings for 2 years(!!!). It was so bad, I never moved on because he never let go. I eventually fell into a depression for about a year. All I remember for those years is crying and living in my room, feeling alone. It wasn't until I turned to God for help that I was able to cut him off and to heal. That part of my life has always been a sore wound. But I did takeaway some important lessons and a greater closeness with God. I think it depends on the relationship and persons involved, but for me keeping contact was the worst thing I could have done.

[@elsio8847]

I have never been in this position yet but I would like to say thank you for these videos!!! Every Tuesday I get so excited knowing you will post a video and I just wanted to say how much your words mean to me Emily!! Thank you for bringing me closer to God and opening my mind to so many answers within myself and around me! You are a true inspiration!!!

[@michaelabariesheff3389]

Such wonderful and much needed advice. Thank you so much Emily. You are a blessing.

[@amandaskagen2365]

Your words are filled with wisdom. I'm glad I found your channel, will definitely recommend you to young women :) I got married at 19 and have been married for 9 years in a few months.

[@amazinggnizama6152]

i have a "ex boyfriend" in my class... so we are forced to spent time together. its the most painful thing in my life i was ever going throug... I thing I can not till then heal when we aren't in class anymore. I try to avoid him in every way but its despite the hell to see him every day... breaking up the contact is the only thing you can do which helps you to move on

[@isabelkabaira1715]

true

[@AwesomeTinyHobbit]

I had a roommate who kept talking to an ex boyfriend... that gave him hope that they would get back together, and the emotional abuse that happened during their relationship STILL went on... and then he got creepy and started stalking her. Break up and stay broken up. And if you need, get a restraining order if he turns into a guy that you do not want to be around ever again

[@perlagomez4378]

This is such a great video. I believe it would depend on the situation but in most cases, it is safe to cut ties! :) I really hope to make helpful videos like yours!

[@anacarmes]

I am that kind of person that likes to just be very clear. But in this moment of my life, I broke up with this guy and we work together, so I am very confused. Still after this I really believe that I can take a decent amount of space and really just talk when necessary and work related. But it is the weirdest situation, hope you can pray for me heal and move on! :)

[@melissagunkle55]

Wow I love this. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@alynareyna2530]

You were performing at Steubenville and I fell in love with your voice and now I LOVEEE your videos!!! Your videos give such great advice that inspire me! ☺️💖 thanks for being such a great role model

[@arlenicalderon5282]

This was so relieving to hear! So honest! I appreciate you sharing this!

[@leilanymadrigal4230]

this is exactly what I wanted to hear

[@oliviatrue4877]

I broke up with my ex because he wasn't a Christian and God woke me up one night and said it needed to be over. however, me and him kept in close contact (practically still dating) for an ENTIRE YEAR after that. we only truly split about 3 months ago, and were still communicating frequently then. finally, about a month ago we stopped talking. it has been a long, confusing process and I wish I had seen this video sooner. being friends is a nice idea but realistically it is not going to last. or, if it does work, I think both people need to go their separate ways and heal and come back together as platonic friends.

[@rinlepard5488]

This is kind of eye opening I honestly appreciate hearing this🙂

[@isabelkabaira1715]

you re awesome

[@gerryvyti4256]

Hi Em! Could you please do a video about dealing with family members who are pursing un Christ like, not virtuous and non chaste relationships? I have a family member who is engaged and will be married this year, and I find it difficult to support them in their marriage because of the secrecy they have about their relationship and the ungodly activities they are involved in with each other, despite one being catholic and the other being Christian. Thanks! :)

[@Manwellazz]

oh I just loooove your intro 😍

[@katelewis3608]

Thank you darlin

[@angeleenluebke1511]

So, we’ve broken up but we work together. The good news is, we’re in 2 separate departments although our departments are side by side. I tried not communicating with him at all but this made things very awkward as far as his area of co-workers I also visit with. But then I Try only saying hi and he wants to pick right back where we left off. Help?!?

[@RachelASmith1990]

Just my opinion...when in doubt, don't keep in touch with your exes. In life, certain people will come into your life, and certain people will go out of it. A few years after the breakup, you and your ex could be in very different places in life, and you two might not feel the need to maintain a friendship.

[@EmilyGloeggler7984]

I disagree about the moving on bit. From my experience, I don't think its healing at all. It just encourages that modern mainstream dating mindset. What I have learned from being self-aware is that if you loved a man and he broke your heart, then the best thing is to hope is that God won't bring you another. Because you know that there won't be another. Now, if you break up with them, because they weren't right for you - they can go through a similar journey - hopefully. At which point, you can wait to see if the right man will show up. I don't like the idea of either seeking or waiting for him to show up. My belief is that - "If I haven't found the man who is the love of my life, then I would rather occupy my time with other things to distract myself. May God send that right man. On the other hand, if I have found the man whom my soul loves, but he doesn't love me - then as uncool as it is to say, I'd rather God not try to lead me to anyone else. I simply don't feel the same way about other men as I do about that one man. May God bring him back into my life, but I realistically know not to expect it. So, other guys will have to find their right woman elsewhere" So truly, I feel it is okay to say to other guys, even if they are God-fearing and pursing to become like Jesus Christ, if they are not the one whom my soul loves - then they better find someone else, despite whatever "feelings that God is telling them", because I think then they are deluding themselves and only going to bring themselves further pain. However, perhaps, they will have to go through the same thing that I'm doing but that's not my cross to bear. That's theirs and I'm not responsible for those guys feeling as if "they missed out on the one whom their soul loves" or "whom they thought Christ was trying to lead them too." They will need to heal on their own or deal with their pain on their own. Those are my feelings from many years of introspection, etc. That to me is healthy moving forward with my life. Not what you suggested. You may disagree, but that's what works for me.

[@sophienavarro4317]

Thank you Emily! This is really helpful.

[@angelinaleblanc9566]

I needed too hear this

[@graynicholas8591]

This honestly helped. Thank you.

[@ashleydillon9517]

Thanks Emily!! Love your channel xx

[@poetry_grrrl]

you are so wise. I LOVE your videos💞

[@allieself95]

I love this and you!!!! Thank you!

[@sophiam.2109]

Thank you so much for this video❤️❤️

[@Clauds71]

Awesome advice 👍👏😀

[@angiegonzalez596]

So true!!!

[@tashaandrew2132]

I may be doing a gap year this September and would love to do an internship with a church, the only option for me is my exs church which my family go to and his family run (his father being the pastor) I'm very comfortable with his family, no tension between us, but I'm worried that being in the same church environment with my ex will be unhealthy. I have been praying about this and continue to see no other options for my personal gap year, what would you think?

[@jacklyn5578]

Needed this

[@Joan685]

great video! would it be fair if you ask the person you are seeing to stop being friends with their exes if you don't keep in contact with yours?

[@salomechirwa3110]

hi Joan. I personally do not think it's fair, but it's best to politely express issue to a significant other. Not to demand, but to put it across that it makes you uncomfortable.

[@gisellesalgado831]

Joan Sequeira I agree with Salome, you definitely should not be demanding about it because no significant other enjoys that but you can express your concern to them and also see how they feel about it as well.

[@einhornfunk8051]

I kinda got it the other way around and I am not sure if I can deal with it. Would you say it's the same with guys or is it just girls take more time to heal?

[@kellyrau1728]

What do I do if I have cut-off contact and still can't move on or get over them, this is the first time I have been through this and I don't know how to move which I know sounds silly but my heart won't let go even after cutting-off contact and countless months of prayer and surrender??!! Help!!!!

[@lena6136]

Kelly Rau not only do you need to cut off physical ties (Contact) but emotional and spiritual. Ask God to break the ties and heal your heart! 😚

[@piabarrera9835]

Hi Emily I find this so beautiful but I would really love to know how to know if the person for you is right for you... I know Mr. Right is there I am also aware of not having a perfect relationship but I would really need some tips on how do you know the person you meet is the right one?

[@piabarrera9835]

I don't know if this makes sense... But yes I just came from a break up which I decided