Asking Strangers Why They Have No Friends

[@ColeHastings]

Let me know your thoughts on this situation. Get 30% off your first box, plus a free gift, when you give Tiege Hanley a try at tiege.com/colefriends

[@dabocousin]

Brodie my thoughts on this situation are: You don't need 10, 20 or 30 friends. If you have 1, 2 or 3 people that are really your friends, I think that's more than enough.

[@azurephoenix9546]

I think SxSW was cooler when there were mosh pits, bands you never heard of playing field parties at 3am and crashing at random people's houses. Tbh, that's how you made awesome friends, just go out and do shit and you'd come across someone who was cool and you'd just go hang out and let it flow. Internet friends are not real friends. They're just people you talk to online until they're not. That includes people you know IRL but only text or talk on discord. Get offline and go hang out together. It legit damages your psychological state when you're not having face to face convos or even calling each other up and talking on the phone. Look how ready all these people are to talk to you. We're a lonely ass people now. It's sad af.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

Sometimes I'm not even friends with myself

[@TheCarlScharnberg]

3 CLOSE friends is actually not that bad at all for an adult.

[@kenneth465]

@@galacticandromeda I got 2 Female Friends with a strong Platonic relationship even though they’re married.

[@kenneth465]

@@galacticandromeda It’s actually good because they’re like Best friends who you can’t let go and enjoy each other’s company a lot. It’s my first time ever experiencing 2 Platonic friendships with 2 Filipino women and I’m happy with it!

[@roastedtoast5461]

Agreed 2 or 3 is ideal

[@kenneth465]

@@roastedtoast5461 Better than 1 at least. It’s my first time experiencing a Platonic friendship with 2 women older than me. And we have a good relationship with each other!

[@vapor4]

1 is not bad at all

[@treyxo_]

I hope one day I can find that one friend group that uplifts each other and that I can 100% trust with my life. I’m tired of living my life secluded and isolated.

[@مصطفىاحمد-و9ذ]

Be without friends better 😊

[@JAKE-ng8yr]

true, same

[@kenyalmb]

@@مصطفىاحمد-و9ذeasy for you to say

[@Hakohn2511]

Same. I have a very good friend group in my country of origin but ever since I moved to UK it literally feels impossible to find anything. I've been "isolated" without close friends (in person; those from my country have become now online-only) for almost 4 years now.

[@flaticon5146]

Me too

[@JSH2034]

I love what she says at 4:59. It’s just so important to be fully comfortable around people and not being afraid to fail or embarrass yourself. Its so hard to give people the attention thats required to make friends when you’re in your own mind fighting your own thoughts.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

That’s why you need to stop fighting your thoughts. Let them pass by. Then you can connect.

[@isidorodaviddoro1920]

​@@AutomaticDuck300 yup act as if they aren't you you Will immeadiatly notice that the conversations Will flow well

[@bryson0206]

literally our society these days

[@joansmith525]

Failure is not acceptable in some places of society.

[@AnArmyOfFatGuys26]

I can see that but when I'm in places where I mess up, like if I make a horrible shot in pool, or if I'm walking and trip, I'll look around to somebody and start laughing and make a little joke about it. I'm comfortable with my own mistakes and I show others that and it makes them comfortable by proxy.

[@NordicGuy97]

True friends are so hard to come by nowadays. Too much toxicity and backstabbing made me the isolated person I am now, and I absolutely love it.

[@aohjii]

cuz humanity is going through a purge and reset and we are starting to place our value higher than the idea of just wanting someone to be around

[@Rhude_tiller]

Exactly why I’d rather have 5 real friends rather than having 20. Gotta keep your circle tight and close.

[@outspeaker1229]

I've traveled around the country a good amount so far, and culture is a big factor. Where I come from in the north east US, it has been way harder to spark conversation and friendships than in the West Coast or the South. The West Coast from what I've seen has more institutional means of socializing like community centers and the like, and the east coast is more lacking in that area.

[@indigoechos6796]

​@@aohjii I just think a lot of people don't value it anymore I don't think they're going through a shift they just value me myself and I.

[@hassosigbjoernson5738]

"hard to come by" is the wrong approach to this I think. Because after all friendships needs work and effort to grow and cultivate. With the "offer" on Instagram, Tinder and so on it seems like many people aren't really willing to put in this effort and really be committed because people "can be found" on the internet quite easy. Well that's the difference between people you know and friends. One takes really effort!

[@michaeljmeyer3]

I really feel that ya-feel-me-guy He made some really good points. For some of us, we are disabled, dislocated, or have other hurdles- a lot of our interactions are virtual. Humanity still happens online, it just takes a different social skill set.

[@indigoechos6796]

But I think we can also have humanity outside of it or not to I know this little old-fashioned but it's still better than having it solely online

[@FiftySixDragons]

" Ya-feel-me-guy " Bro y'all hilarious but appreciate you

[@edenbercier7511]

Oh no, your're actually the poster child of why you Shouldn't waste your real life absorbed into a screen. Fat, incel, who looks almost 30, no wife, no friends. You're not selling this thing man. Find people who you can do life with, make money, challenge your mind, find a life partner, have kids, sow to the next generation. THIS is how people found purpose (outside themselves) since the beginning of time. Giving not leeching off society.

[@neilchaplin8235]

Sometimes it’s better to be on your own than with the wrong people!

[@vin_rouge180]

sometimes not, always!

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

That is so true especially when you are at your lowest and life knocks you down for a good min. That’s why I been riding solo the past 4 years and it’s been such a peaceful journey

[@goldendiamon]

​@@vin_rouge180It's always better to be solo than to be in a wrong company ..

[@SL2797]

Better being alone than in bad company!

[@Bjorn_R]

I have a lot "friends" but what frustrates me is that everyone seems so caught up with their own lives. And thus never think ro reach out. I think it is a shame, that we dont prioritize to hang out more.

[@blacklyfe5543]

That's how it be

[@JAKE-ng8yr]

so they are not friends

[@Ada-Wong.]

@@JAKE-ng8yr exactly lol sounds more like acquaintances imo

[@JAKE-ng8yr]

@@Ada-Wong. yeah I noticed english native people tend to call "friends" people they saw twice in their life. If u think u have more friends than let's say 10, u are wrong

[@zekecooper7277]

Let's be bros bro. We think alike.

[@goopapa4758]

Never had a real friend. Every friendship was always one-sided, either they liked me and I didn't like them, or more commonly, vice versa. What sucks about today's broader definition of friendship is that when peopel call you their friend, you believe it, but when you try to engage with them further than before after they called you a friend, and you're given a cold shoulder and / or not reciprocated, you feel more alone than ever. These people don't even realise what they're doing.

[@lukashenrique4295]

I've been very lucky to have had real friends at school, then I had to switch schools and I got new friends that I didn't like. I lost contact with my old friends but when we met one more time, this time we were adults with jobs and everything, and we simply didn't fit together anymore. I know I changed a lot, and so did they, so we just weren't in the same page anymore. I'm stuck in the "I don't like these new friends" kinda thing, where when I talk to people and they invite me to hang out, I don't feel like it because I don't like them. These two vets, a married couple, they're um what do u call it in english, let's just say they're home vets, they visit your pet at your house, and they came here to treat my dog. So we started talking and they like a lot of things I like, they play games, they're interested in tech, we talked about living in another country, etc. And we match with a lot of stuff, I'd be their friends. But they're way older than me, like twice my age, and I feel like our relationship is only professional. They have children and a lot of friends they met in college and everything, so I didn't feel couraged enough to ask for their numbers. So it's not that I have super high standards, not really, I just haven't gotten lucky finding people I like talking to. I know they're there, they just haven't introduced themselves yet

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

I can relate to this cause most of my friendships were one sided and people nowadays use that word “friend” way too loosely nowadays cause I was always told growing up that everyone is not your friend and I’m seeing that into fruition now as a 23 year old. Most times it’s best to be your own best friend nowadays

[@joshuabuchanan1141]

I fucking hate that

[@coltenkelso5764]

Because people are only in it for themselves. Not for you. Once you stop benefiting them they don’t care about you. If you make your needs known a lot of people don’t like that. It’s hard to find authentic people that truly care about you.

[@Marc-xc9uo]

Definitely pal! Only a minority exist where they arn’t all for themselves. Loads like that in the work environment

[@lukashenrique4295]

@@Marc-xc9uo work environment is the worst. lots of people who don't fit together are thrown in the same room

[@Marc-xc9uo]

You are spot on pal! Especially when most are woman who have each other

[@franzjosefmueller-alban509]

Well, you nailed it !! Finally someone that understands the true nature of humanity. People are inherently selfish so called “ takers “ and they take what they need from others and viceversa. Also, your last sentence is spot on too. What makes the difference is … empathy . Cheers man. Have a great day.

[@joshuabuchanan1141]

It shouldn't be that way at all

[@josegarza7719]

I have 0. It was easier to make friends before cellphones. At school everyone had to talk to each other even if we didn’t like each other. The awkward silence was there. You could either break the awkward silence or just let it be. Now people escape onto their phone to avoid the awkwardness. I see it ALL THE TIME. Hell even I do it and every time I realize it too because I didn’t grow up like that. It’s going to be like that forever now. Gone are the days we’re cellphones weren’t a thing. It was so much better without them

[@lukashenrique4295]

people's attention spam aren't there anymore. if you're not entertaining, they seek entertainment in their phones. social media, short videos, everything is more intense than a "boring awkward silence", and silences are so useful to bonding with people, because both would have to go through it and one has to break the ice, right? it pressures people in making a joke, or acting funny, and sometimes it's just authentic.

[@nightfighter7452]

It's not even about phones. I have a coworker who only seems to want to talk to people when the other party starts a conversation first. He'll put seemingly no effort into starting them himself or even continuing them if the conversation isn't fun enough for him

[@josegarza7719]

@@nightfighter7452 yeah I think I consider myself a boring guy but ever since I had trouble in school socially, I barely initiate conversations. The people who socialize at my current job probably consider me a kill joy but we don’t exactly have the best relationship either. I still talk to them but others like to socialize. I guess for the individual it’s what you value I guess. For me I value people who are honest and my coworkers are not so I sometimes I avoid 4 of them intentionally. They always talk shit when all I say is good morning lol. I’m like man you sound like a bundle of joy. Anyway, moral of the story is your coworker may have his reasons for being like that.

[@emilyjaehnert8060]

I have some friends who put every second of their lives online, then refuse p much to tell me anything because they assume I see every snap chat story. I can't function like that, I barely take pictures because I feel like it takes me out of the moment.

[@alessadolan5718]

I noticed that too, i was hanging with a friend that i don’t know that well and i noticed that she was pretty awkward. When she had nothing to say she got back on her phone instead of continuing the conversation with me..

[@Number1Butter]

You know, oddly enough, the biggest help I ever gave myself was the moment I decided that theres no reason to think myself as less than others, they see me as an equal so why not see myself that way. Its made socializing so much easier. The strange part though is that I simply woke up one day and said “my past no longer bothers me and while I know I need to work on myself, ive come a long way and that should be celebrated”. That was the changing point of my life. Ive never had less trouble approaching strangers in my life. I think it just boils down to this: you can watch every self help video on the internet, read every article, have all the answers but you won’t get anything out of it until you put it all in action. Love yourself because I promise you theres lots to love, I didnt think there was anything for me but now I look back with regrets at all the time ive wasted feeling sprry for myself. Anyways sorry for the rant but I hope this helps someone, it truly is mind over matter. (Yes I was diagnosed with depression this isnt just some “get over it!” BS.)

[@AutomaticDuck300]

I like this comment. You’re right.

[@AmeliaPlayz]

It's refreshing to see this. I've been struggling with my self worth lately and have been looking at videos and articles to help me. I finally realized that they do more harm then good. Right now I am slowly gaining myself back. Thank you for this!:)

[@anima6035]

@@AmeliaPlayz I think self help stuff can be helpful but in moderation, self reflection and insight is great - it's just that its easy to get obsessive with it especially nowadays when most platforms just keep recommending the same content over and over when they see you've watched it once. There's only so much self help we need before it's time to take what we've learned and move on.

[@simonrockstream]

Well said. If you believe it, it's very real to you. But it's not easy to believe in things, especially things that you dont currently have or feel in your life right now. It's worth trying and at least thinking about, it might help to untangle some thoughts at the very least.

[@goldstein10493]

But what if I just don't enjoy socializing? Like I know how to carry a conversation or small talk, but it doesn't make me want to do it again. I don't long for it. Shouldn't we see socializing as something we enjoy and we WANT to do? Not something that we NEED to do, right? It's not a job.

[@ryanguerin6556]

I feel like the main reason why it’s so hard to make friends anymore is because it’s so hard to find any true communities anymore. Some of my closest friends have come from times where I was surrounded by the same groups of people for a long time, and through that long exposure period, I was able to make the actual connections that you need to keep friendships going. I just feel like finding these common communities have basically been relegated to school and work, and I sometimes feel like I’m just sitting by waiting for a day when people start actually start congregating and talking to people in places like neighborhoods and parks again.

[@3e1i]

It's so hard making friends in college as a transfer student. Everyone already knows someone and don't want to talk to new people. It's frustrating.

[@trav3nn]

I agree with you, everyone has already made groups in my Uni and they already closed themselves off and don't want new people hanging around with them.

[@saritkumar9351]

To be honest, people nowadays are rude in general, that's why many people including me completely avoids people. That's my opinion

[@Caffeinated_Acrobat]

💯

[@atharvsawant7509]

I completely agree with you. In addition to that, people these days are very judgemental.

[@jessieheywood6401]

​@Atharv Sawant you're judging people by assuming they're judgemental or rude lmao

[@dannynielsen2]

A lot of you are just getting sensitive

[@tebogo743]

Avoid toxic people, NOT people in general. Once you meet great people, you will be the happiest you've been since childhood, I promise you.

[@moka1251]

2:20 omg she is SOOO right! A bunch of people that I barely talk to in my school are always saying how I make a good friend and how 'we should talk more', even though they never ask me to hang out with them, text me, or even come up to talk to me. It's so confusing because most of them have friendships they focus on, yet them saying that just makes me feel like I'm not enough for any of them -or like I'm some 'backup friend' they only talk to if nothing else is available.

[@kolacao8134]

They are fake friends

[@FantasmaOlvidado1]

Dont waste more time with those idiots.

[@ryanstarlight8018]

Do you ask them to hang out ?

[@kitcat2449]

maybe they are afraid to 'bother' you?

[@moka1251]

@@ryanstarlight8018 yea i've asked to hangout before and, out of 13 times (i counted), they only said yes once. Though it doesn't really matter now since I graduated a week ago. It was just infuriating talking to people and them acting like I'm a random person they've never complimented (in a school of 400). At least I picked up on signs to avoid, I guess..

[@jukio02]

I had friends when I was a child. That all changed when I reached High School. It just wasn't the same anymore. I could just feel the fakeness in other people. I had to pretend to like the people around me for 4 years, just to survive. After I was done with High School, I was finally free. In college, I just did my own thing, no friends. Loved it. I personally don't think you need friends, you just need to know how to communicate with others to get the things you need. You can hang out with other people, but true lasting friendship, is not necessary.

[@howardmueller1535]

Real friends, people you can actually count on, are very rare and few. This is nothing new. I’m a 90s kid, and during my childhood I had 3 close friends and after moving, as an adult I have 3 new friends whom I’ve known for years, have been there for me and have helped me. Real friends are rare, few and precious, the rest of the people you think you know are just acquaintances.

[@grayfoxsa]

I met people and started getting confortable with them and opening up but it usually ends up with them talking behind my back and them criticizing how i should live my life.

[@joannam9444]

Something I’ve learned recently is, yes, it is good to filter out people who are toxic or who just don’t mesh with you, but sometimes we don’t give people a chance to show us who they really are. I’m anxious and avoidant and my greatest fear is that people will see who I truly am and hate me, but if you push people away before they get the chance to know you, you’ll never find people who think like you and want to grow with you. God bless!! ❤

[@changed7226]

I'm so blessed! My best friend and I met at camp when I was 9 years old and we have a really good close relationship now! We still have sleep overs, go antique shopping, cook together, we took drivers education together, we're planning to go to Alaska next year together, we just do everything together! She's my favourite person! I know she'll never leave and I don't know what I would do without her. Everyone should have that close friend!

[@TheVenomology]

You are truly blessed

[@Miram7]

If you've Social Anxiety Disorder just like me, that's very hard and i understand that. Last time i talked to someone was creator of a website made for lonely people. I talked to him on the inbuilt voice chat function and i was so anxious like what was gonna happen and when i joined the voice-chat, he was so welcoming that i stopped being anxious and i had a full-blown conversation straight for an hour. English isn't my first language, but i kid you not i didn't stutter for once(i usually stutter). After that i had two more conversation in real life and i love them. So moral of the story is start from anywhere, if you can't go out start with text then move to voice chat and don't worry about being embarrassed because other person doesn't even know you(that was the mentality i tried to get and maybe i got). It's surely hard but you got it dude, i believe in you :D

[@Traumatised311]

Social anxiety is mostly u had bad horrible people in ur past Nice people don't give social anxiety

[@pixelander]

I actually didn’t know people were scared to use their voice online

[@lukashenrique4295]

@@Traumatised311 was gonna say that's not true, but thinking about it, yea it is. my uncle is someone I've grown to respect, I mean he's very smart and helped me a lot giving me life advices, but I didn't notice until recently, he's too smart he makes everyone around him kinda shut up when he's talking. because he doesn't let you talk back or go against his opinion, he won't take a no from u. so yaa, I've had social anxiety for a long while, still do, and I think it's because of my uncle.

[@Sunshineattacks3]

It honestly takes everything out of me, not to run away in the middle of a conversation. Like I have a fear talking to people but I also have a fear of turning a good interaction into a bad one. When it is going good, I wanna leave as quickly as possible. Because I don’t want to ruin it But you’re absolutely right if you’re talking to the right person, it actually comes pretty easy.

[@SasakiSan834]

@@pixelander I AM HORRIFIED of voice chatting with people. Like… the last time I tried my hands literally started sweating, I entered in the group and I didn’t even say anything, I just listened to other people conversation and then I left lmao texting is easier, but it still makes me kinda anxious sometimes

[@Darthguy8252sChannel]

Awesome video Cole! Feel like this topic isn't spoken about enough. As someone who has Anxiety Disorder I know what it looks like and sounds like. Tons of people have it and don't even know. Keep up the great content man!!!

[@ullr1438]

There are a lot of great things that can come with being alone and accepting it for a time but I'm hoping one day I can get out of this hole

[@Itisheylel]

Narcissistic traits made me not want to invest my energy on a friendship anymore. It’s not just technological, although it’s one of the things that made ppl extremely self-centred.

[@alonzorodriguez8878]

Same 😢

[@lmeirelesxo]

That last guy was right on. Work on yourself and your values and the right friends will come along 👍

[@KayTm1608]

Im 43 yo, when i was at school and college, i have so many friends. Literally so many until i definetely met some of 'em everyday. The amount was starting to reduce when i start to work, married, having children.... bcs we have our own business, not meet again for long time, some of them have passed away, etc. Now i only have around 4 friends i still talk to. But i never feel lonely eventho the amount reduced extremely. Bcs "a friend" is still another people.... The one who can comfort us best is ourselves. We wont feel lonely if we sucessfully be friend to ourself. And also be close to God, our Creator, who knows us best.

[@alejandroviasus668]

I think suburbanization and social media's caused a shift in the definition of friends. I liked how the interviewees mentioned how people will call anyone a friend after hanging out just once. From this statement, I'd hypothesize that loneliness caused by physical shifts in social interaction (suburbs), and statistics that show how many social media friends one has, essentially pushed young people to befriend anyone for the sake of having a good social standing. It comes at the cost of either having a broken, fake, whatever you want to call it, "friendship", those who go on ghost mode, or for those like me in the past- have a low desire to make friends because you're aware that some young people are just looking to make friends for the sake of having personal credibility. Nowadays I like to say I have many acquaintances, a few close friends, and I'm completely happy with everyone who's around me.

[@BoxingFishingGuy]

I have 3-4 close friends; a good way to tell if someone is a friend is if they share things with you about themselves that is not flattering. If they or you don’t feel comfortable with that, you are acquaintances

[@nightghost4174]

Kinda stopped letting people hurt me, use me, or abandon me. A caring heart, in an evil world, can do a whole lot of damage to your existence on this earthy realm

[@mmkw5621]

Same

[@austinhernandez2716]

I must be boring. No one comes up to me, no one seems to care about me. I always have to do the work to make friends with others. I only have 3 "real" friends and that's it. I never had a single friend until college because I had extreme social anxiety due to severe bullying and isolation.

[@Big_talks.]

But you still got friends though

[@julienleveaux3113]

I promise you if you already have 3 "Real" Friends this is plenty if you really like hanging out with them make the bond stronger and in a couple of Years you'll have 3 Friends that'll have your back

[@tebogo743]

3 friends is more than enough dude, its all about how much time you spend with them.

[@steffighter144]

I know what you mean I have also like 4 friends. My problem is I live in the countryside and not in the cities where my friends mostly live

[@AutomaticDuck300]

3 real friends is 3 more than a lot of people have.

[@ddennis2430]

I feel like these days, just trying to be someones friend makes them feel weirded out for some reason

[@kamingaaa]

true, it feels more “normal” to be indifferent to people than being friendly somehow.

[@hubble6764]

Yeah I agree with this in its entirety, I've gone out talked to people and tried to make friends but no one actually makes the effort back despite the opportunity being right in front of them. Although there was one guy I was somewhat successful with.

[@darlingdior]

The girl in the blue shirt is so well spoken

[@Human_01]

Sarcasm??? Condescending much. Smh.

[@kindstranger1455]

Actually I donť have socializing problems , im just tierd of getting backstabbed and fake friendships. I donť wanna deal with secret hate ,jealousy or gossip i want real people and authentic ones instead of insecure ones so thats why i prefer solitude.Also i donť wanna give my all and trust to a person that wants to harm me secretly.

[@lukashenrique4295]

you have to filter people, but to know when someone is gonna backstab you is impossible. accidents happen, but you can prevent them to make them happen less and less. by filtering, you avoid a sh** ton of trouble. for example, stuff called red flags, people often use this term for relationship issues but it's a very very accurate thing. everyone has them, and when u see a lot of them in someone, u know that person is trouble. there was this guy, a work mate I had, he was charismatic, everyone liked him, but I never thought he was being genuine so I avoided talking to him. I was polite and all, but nothing beyond that. ok so I finished my contract and was ready to leave the company, he told me he wanted to hang out with me after I leave and everything, but he never bothered to talk to me. not a single c ya or good luck finding a new job message, and one day he did message me. to do what? to ask me for money. he decided to marry this girl, I actually knew he was in a relationship, but nah, I didn't trust him one bit so I rejected. he said it's all good, gonna ask someone else, and then after some time he asked me something. to borrow him money a second time. and this time I blocked his number. I knew he was an a**hole. he had a series of red flags people didn't noticed at work but I did. 1. he was in a relationship, planning on marrying, but I saw him flirt with my classmates. 2. guy was in experience just like me, but he complimented the boss all the time, like he wanted to place a red carpet before work hours so the boss would come and he'd be there, ready to serve the master. oh and he bought a couple of things to gift the boss. really, he did that. in experience, that was like, "hey, i'm here, pls choose me and none of the other hardworking idiots, i want to stay here, lemme gift u stuff my lord". 3. see, in Brasil there's a left handed group (politics) of like-minded people that got known for being extremists ( and stupid). he was in the group. 4. made promisses, never fulfilled a single one of them. 5. when I left, I forgot an umbrella in the workplace, he knew it was mine but didn't bother to let me know I lost it. 6. when he talked to me, the only thing that came to his mind was asking to borrow money. ok, I could go on and on but... These are signs of an a**hole. edit: typos.

[@kindstranger1455]

@@lukashenrique4295 thanks for the advice🌻, but in my case things were hella difficult , like you know when you notice somethings at first but you re kinda overloaded with your own stuff or even you re healing yourself spiritualy so your attention goes to yourself instead of others thats when these a**holes wanna come in and ruin your effort😑. I did notice the red flags but its a place full of pretenders and im the authentic one there and its frustraiting and since im intuitive and psychic thats how i know when people gonna backstab me and stuff , but this fella that you mentioned is one of those complicated dark individuals that i deal with , like its probably deeper and darker than that i donť want to tap into his energy and another thing about me is i sense everything and im sensitive to energies around me so they might not say but i will know and they donť like that😏.either way thanks❤️.

[@emilyjaehnert8060]

Same, and idk why but I feel like I tend to attract these types of friendships? Now that I've recognized that I've definitely gotten better at setting boundaries, but I still struggle with being able to trust people's intensions.

[@keith2o9]

sometimes you don't really know what peoples intentions are. They waltz into your life, you clique, you have good times, you get attached, and then out of the blue, they stopped talking to you. don't return your calls or texts. and it leaves your mind full of negative thoughts. I tried to be the good friend to someone who I can potentially have a long term friendship with then all of a sudden, he just dropped me out of nowhere. Things could be good today and tomorrow, you're nothing to them. And that's what hurts. it's so hard trying to find genuine friends nowadays. especially when you're 25+ age.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

I don’t know, I’m 32 and I have more friends than ever

[@Human_01]

[ADVICE] MY-PHILOSOPHY: "INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. Example: In my mind, I visualise a picture of my younger self (family albums might help). And I 'remember' what the emotion of genuine love felt like. And then I project those emotions onto the mental visualization of my younger self. I meditate and hold that 'state of mind' for as long as I can. The result? I feel my conscious energy resignating with positivity and renewed strength. And my anxiety immediately evaporates away. At the very least, depending on my levels of anxiety, this mediation practice aids to 'evaporate' much of it. You can do the same thing with "trying to 'remember' temperatures, e.g. hot or cold. And then project that memory onto a visualised heat source (all within your minds eye). You will 'feel' the effects immediately." I hope this proved helpful..

[@Human_01]

MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. ............................. "Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'. ............................. NEURO-PERSONALITY ............................. "SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤 'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality). THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic). WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs). ............................... Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists. ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism). Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level. SUMMARY Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology. [Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology. ///End ///

[@ItsAryax]

Technology have made everything so easy & convenient We can do everything on our phones almost we have no need to go out to the level That many of us don't know how to approach random people outside Thanks for the motivation Cole I have socialize alot recently but, still Haven't found anybody close this video gave me a boost

[@JAKE-ng8yr]

technology made it theoretically easier to make friends but in fact its way harder, I don't know where to even look for friends online

[@ItsAryax]

@@JAKE-ng8yr Yeah you can't even trust anyone as someone who had a online friend doxxing people, finding people location,sueing them just because some yt controversy in KZbinrs with 1000s of subs & they made a roast video on him 💀 the video was mostly made on me too but i stopped getting my 'revenge' & Improve Idk abt him now but, he did alot of stuff but, there are places where you'll get quality people like self improvement servers Adonis house Hamza's cult Screenship(creator like Cole Hastings seriously underrated) & There are plenty of creators maybe try talking on those but, I'll prefer real life socializing even as an introvert

[@peterjuff]

I wonder how many of their friends would be shocked to find out what they really think

[@javierjaime9386]

They know they suck

[@barry1369]

My social issues weren’t caused by social media but it definitely exacerbated it. Escaping into something removes you from the real world and the more removed you are true harder it is to interact with people in the real world

[@luciole2594]

From personal experience online friendships end when someone deletes their account or ghost you or find a partner, it's so random and unpredictable when you can make someone go away by a click of a button. I've had many different friends over the years being online and none of them lasted so I decided to clean my life and go offline. I've been spending time alone more it's hard but I got my peace of mind.

[@Traumatised311]

Cole looks so happy and healed in this video He seems like he's left all the trauma behind

[@TonySoprano007]

Deep down cole is a very lonely person and doesn't have friends that's why he likes topics like this...

[@Bebornagain12345]

Don’t try to be someone with NO friends, but at the same time don’t be obsessed with having a lot of friends. We need people to help us grow, and for us to help other people grow. But at the same time, it’s wrong to call people “friends” if you can’t rely on them, or if they’re not caring for you as a real friend should, or if you can’t call your friends “real”. Find whoever GENUINELY cares about you and call THEM friends….which is why genuine people don’t have a lot of friends because most people do not fit this definition. Better to have a few that care then a lot who don’t.

[@IllD.]

Am I really not alone on this? Its sad to hear that I'm not, but in a way it makes me feel less lonely. Thanks cole.

[@Breaklimitingbeliefs]

That is true treat people how you want to be treated, you yourself know the answer what a good friend is so just act how you want your friends to act towards you.

[@thedavidboland]

In the last 2-3 years I’ve met several people that I’d consider good friends that I see every week and we help each other in all aspects of life, be it in business or emotional development or just hanging out. I made these friends by going places/meet-ups/workshops by myself and trying new things that I was interested in. I don’t really hang out with anyone I went to school or college with now, and my social life is the best it’s ever been. if you want more friends, identify your interests, then go to group events & places etc where people with those interests are likely to be and just talk to people. for example hiking, sea swimming, music gatherings, dance class. Find your thing. ❤

[@1chienandalou]

I have moved countries a few times in my life for work and by now I have made and retained good friends from each place. If you engage in things you like and are interested in people around you and are a good/kind/interesting person and you will organically find friends. Online, at school, it goes that way. Then it’s a matter of effort and skill as well to maintain relationships. Some people stay in your life some go. Good advice here and in the video.

[@tile-maker4962]

I kinda hate that term "work on yourself." Behind the scenes, How much? How long? You really only need to discover the thing that is holding you back. It doesn't take "work" after that. It takes acceptance and personal love.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

There's no such thing as "work on yourself" to find friends. There's only social skill. I've seen terrible people in relationships and have friends. These people clearly need to work on themselves but they don't. They know how to talk though.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

You have everything you need inside you already. The best advice is about how get it out of you.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@AutomaticDuck300 That's called social skill. Knowing how to communication, to tell stories, to flirt, etc...

[@AutomaticDuck300]

@@Dave_of_Mordor exactly. That’s the method of getting it out of you. You can learn it.

[@Human_01]

​@@Dave_of_Mordor MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. ............................. "Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'. ............................. NEURO-PERSONALITY ............................. "SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤 'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality). THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic). WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs). ............................... Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists. ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism). Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level. SUMMARY Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology. [Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology. ///End ///

[@front.olilang]

I don't want to sound bad or anything, but I can say I have a lot of good friends and friend groups throughout my contemporary life. Idk, maybe it's just me. I have over 10 close friends, and over 5 diferent friend groups (with some people overlapping in those groups). I do have my alone time and I don't always hang out when I have anything important to do, but if I don't, I get to adapt to the vibe a particular friend/group of mine has. Still, feeling isolated and alone is not a bad thing, and it's valid to feel that way. It's not wrong to be alone, yet I do hope that whoever may read this may have even just that one friend who he/she/they is able to connect with, not only when hanging out, but as well when you need to be vulnerable. Rooting for you!

[@aaronaustrie]

Fake is the new normal to rn. Ppl can know you and yet won't connect with you or help you out when it's needed!

[@prime_comando]

Been wondering why I haven't seen more videos like this. But yea this stuff is extremely interesting and feels like everyone is directly or indirectly "terminally online".

[@rocko34]

I’ve always struggled to keep friendships long term. As soon as something tested my friendships they just ended. Always struggled to connect with people and the people I did tend to become friends with, it was because they like that I was a people pleaser and a yes man. Now that I am more assertive and say no to things when I want to say no, those people just up and left. It hurts! Currently at home with a chronic health condition and working through some hard hitting depression. I’ve got my gf who I’m super grateful for and my childhood friend who I don’t feel close to most of the time. Living a very lonely existence right now and it’s hard to imagine socialising and making proper friends ever again. The world feels like a hostile place and I hope I find proof that there’s decent people that I connect with some day

[@chairkids]

yeah i feel like everyone is isolated nowadays because they get all what they need from their phone.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

I think Gen x just doesn't know how to raise their kids (gen z). There is no way phones would cause all this. Every one of you should have learned how to socialize by watching your parents. If you don't know how to do this then you were either ignored by your parents or you were ignored by your parents.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Not the same as real human interaction

[@unnderneath]

@@AutomaticDuck300 not the same but for a lot of people it can replicate that feeling

[@eddierodriguez8354]

Yes I have a lot of acquaintances and only three friends for over 30 years. We understand that we have our own lives yet connect after all the years.

[@jenniferbryant2700]

Friends are about helping each other ride out the storms life will throw at you. Friends will stand up for you and have your back. They help you clean up after the mistakes you have made. You bring each soup when you have the flu. You cry on each other's shoulder. You make up for each other's weaknesses and celebrate each other's strengths. I miss my best friends from high school. I miss the girl time and the all night movie marathon sleep-overs. Friends are people you can giggle with ....

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

BROOOO WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL, I hate seeing people saying how good high school was because I NEVER EVEN GOT TO GO TO HIGH SCHOOL

[@veganrican606]

I can say that I don't have any friends. I've never been that type of person to have friends, but now that older I'm realizing it more.

[@Kannan_50]

This is the content I subscribed for

[@raheemallen2003]

Alert Alert A Sunday Law will be The Mark Of The Beast when enforce by law, Those that keep Gods seventh day sabbath will be prohibited from buying and sell and persecuted. Jesus is coming are you ready?

[@martinisawe6300]

Idk who'll read this but whatever I'm 23 and i go out and socialize with people. And from my experience, some are rude, some are weird out but most are shock and relieve that someone talks to them. Some stutter hard but others are insecure. In the gym I literally never seen people's my age go and interact with others and it's pretty sad. Another thing is that my mom hates when i talk to strangers, but idc since i see a lot of benefits socializing. I feel like social media makes things bad, even though i don't use it. Maybe if my generation stop relying social media then it gets easier to meet new people but it's my opinion.

[@nolesy34]

It's good to reach out, sometimes a channel is the way... I find I was put off by people that talk really well, social butterflies i call them because i felt they weren't real They are real but have developed social and communication so well its easy for them It comes with practise Of course your young and *you will hear older people say that too But one way to overcome it is by going to a fancy mask ball, you will talk frankly because you can hide that notion of self insecurity After a while take off the mask

[@jasherbelton3039]

Yeah I only have 2 real friends in my life right now. I've never been one to outreach and make friends or put myself out there. I guess its because i've dealt with bullying and exclusion in the past at a young age. But i've been gradually on self improvement and increasing my confidence so that I'll be more comfortable meeting people in person

[@chadwithautism]

Jealousy, ego, stupidity, pride etc. there's always some barrier that hinders a real connection. Even if there isn't, friends can only do so much for you, especially if you're ambitious. I need to move out of Singapore before I become a psychopath.

[@Drexical]

In my experience, I'd say the first thing you'd want to work on is being completely comfortable with being alone. I think of it like, if you don't like the person/people you're hanging out with, you probably wouldn't have a good time with them. The same could be applied to you when your by yourself. If you don't like yourself enough then you wouldn't enjoy being alone, it could be miserable even. Once you give yourself the self-love/care that you deserve and learn to appreciate your time spent alone as a gift rather than a curse, you begin to open yourself up and people start to respect you more because you know how to respect yourself and realize you don't need other people to be fully happy

[@freecreator6426]

Totally agree, by learning to be alone and appreciate it, you can trust yourself more and create more harmony with yourself. I am actually living one of my solitude phases, and I just got some thoughts clear in my mind, on how I want to be spending my time, and how I want to live. Meanwhile, while being with friends, I could never get into such clarity of thinking, it is sometimes painful, and that's ok, the same as friendships also could be sometimes. But, in general, I believe, if you learn to love yourself while being alone and doing your thing, you will evebtually also find no problem with attracting new friends who share your values and hobbies. As an expat in germany, I experienced a lot of solitude, and believe me it can become very tough sometimes, but at the end, I managed to make the best out of it, I became stronger, and I developed a better relationship with myself, and learned to be alone and happy :)

[@theking8347]

Humans can't be comfortable being alone because we didn't evolve that way. We're not biologically programmed for solitude, we evolved to be part of large tribes.

[@frostmaiden85]

My working conditions and then my poverty caused me to become very friendless. In my old job, I was working irregular hours 6-7 days a week. I couldn't even see much of my family, let alone friends. Then I switched to a lower paying job with weekends off but it coincided with the hyperinflation in my country and even though I met some cool people, I wasn't able to sustain our friendship because I could not afford to go out. Now I've moved in with my parents to their home in a seaside village. There aren't many people my age but I'm still recovering from poverty so that's not my biggest concern.

[@HeOfTheBeginning]

A lot of my true friends are like brothers, and as far as female friends go, they can be pretty insightful, especially if we are mutually not attracted to one another or seek a relationship. Having no weights attached but still being compassionate is a good way to start making friends

[@mizeria777]

Someone you can ride or die with no matter what you become. Someone who can give you reality and still accept you who you are despite your flaws. Someone who loves you for who you truly are despite circumstances, in your successes and failures they are always present. Someone who you can have sound arguements with and still accept differences of each other. Someone who makes us feel important and equal and not feel like we are outshined in front of other people. Someone who includes us in their lives without holding secrets and honesty. That’s why i only have 1 bestfriend. Im an introvert and enjoy my own company, i just find more and more people are reluctant and only care for themselves and their own survival, im really avoidant of shallow people and those I have reservations with. so i just gave up trying to know someone if they’re not interested in me.

[@Cole_Owens]

It’s horrible at college. Almost everyone is fake as shit

[@aaronaustrie]

I agree🤦🏾‍♂️

[@cookiegirl891]

Facts

[@Traumatised311]

Welcome to real world baby 99% are like that Fake people

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

That is facts I experienced it first hand

[@tokiimori]

I’ve cycled through a lot of backstabbers in the past year, I really hope when I transfer to college I can meet some new people. Thank you for this video it’s very comforting knowing I’m not alone

[@fight4truthtruth143]

We live in a society or world where there's more insulting people than trying to make connections. For example, just for doing something different you will get criticized by someone or for that matter a good number of people. And it could be anything! People use terms such as weird, gay, stupid, retarded to try and insult you when the truth is they don't know shit about you. Another reason is the human mind and how it could be jealousy, resentment etc. That causes them to act the way they do. It fits the saying, " People hate what they can't understand."

[@andrewgoldstein1029]

I don't want friends, I just don't want to be lonely. And yes, I see how this is problematic.

[@chowderpilot3843]

My late father told me "If you have true friends that can be counted on the fingers of one hand - then you are wealthier than most."

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

there's no such thing as true friends lol

[@chowderpilot3843]

@@iiCounted-op5jx whilst I agree many people can disappoint us or let us down -and that many people can be untrustworthy - saying "there can be no true friends at all" is not true. My late dad had lifelong friendships that distance and time did not diminish. He made a huge effort to stay in contact with his friends in spite of every difficulty and never stopped loving them - so he absolutely earned those true friendships through a lifetime of loyalty, affection, and effort. So whilst true friendships may be extremely rare - they are possible.

[@sebastiancorrales]

Yo must share because from my experience of growing up on the spectrum people treat you differently cause you’ act differently. 25 now moved to new city and found out “ your problems travel with you- what’s working for me is having hobbies , go to gym and be patient because cool friends have popped up and many disappear, it used to be terrible but don’t take things so seriously. As long as you improve you’ll find true friends and a partner . Lots of these people don’t have true friends or partner that’s what they want you to think.

[@NickWhite]

shoutout to me for filming this 👍

[@ColeHastings]

insane cameraman

[@Grace-jb7me]

This has to be the best video I've seen on this topic! The answers from all the interviews were so spot on!!!!!

[@kile1058]

I definitely feel lonely a lot, but I think that's largely a byproduct of our society. I have like 1 friend I talk to daily, and usually it's not all that deep, but it still matters. My absolute best friend, I've known since 4. We spent nearly every day together until I moved away for college but every time we're together it's like nothing has ever changed, and that means a lot. People who are no questions asked, just welcome you in whenever mean the most to me. I made one friend literally on fucking bumble bff who i have hung out with weekly for a year now, too. It seems so silly but so many of us are in similar places and it works. I don't talk to a lot of people often, but I'm so thankful to still know if I need anything I've got a lot of people in my court. I'm moving cross country to absolutely uncharted territory in a couple months, and I'm scared shitless but am also very excited for this new change to carve out my spot in a much larger place. I'm still a firm believer that most people are more than eager to make new friends

[@intruden3137]

I recently moved across the country for work and have been trying to make friends for the last 8 months. I have met a lot of people who are nice, and we hang out regularly, but I don't find them to be very interesting as they rely on me to dictate all the socializing. It's put me in a situation where I don't really like the people I am hanging out with, but they like me a lot.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

Every social circle has a guy like you though. It's unfortunate but you're that guy in your social group 😂

[@Hakohn2511]

I have a very good friend group in my country of origin in Eastern Europe but ever since I moved to UK it literally feels impossible to find anything. I've been "isolated" without close friends (in person; those from my country have become now online-only) for almost 4 years now. People here in the west just feel... cold.

[@izaaz9727]

The more a society modernises, the more introverted they seem to become.

[@dansrandomvideos2515]

As a UK born and bred, I can also say that it is indeed impossible to find anything.

[@peterscott4597]

Thanks!

[@dhrutube]

Don't be afraid to talk about stuff considered cringe. I used to think I was the only one who played videogames or watch anime and thought I'll only have online people to relate to, but slowly I met so many people from my school into anime and racing games. I was too scared to be embarrassed ig. Use people you trust to meet more people.

[@diegojdavi]

I couldn't agree more with the dude who said something along those lines: "Online connections are more like disconnections..."

[@alexDab3142]

I absolutely love how the two dudes were clearly stoned out of their minds

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

LMAOOOO

[@RagePower2000]

I think it's important to remember these are people who are there purely to find friends(if I understand the purpose of the event correctly), so these are people who have already looked inside of themselves and had some ego depletion and essentially had to admit to themselves they're lonely, so as a result their answers to these questions are gonna be a bit more genuine and down to earth compared to just a random person.

[@m.hoffman2889]

I would say I have 0 real friends, I sometimes try to keep contact with class mates from university or student jobs but it always ends up one sided or just cuts off, People to hang out and to talk with and share interests etc. do not exist even though I like to talk and have also deep convos (no gossip or shallow stuff) I am too shy to go out to bars and night clubs alone to meet people

[@Rhude_tiller]

Maybe don’t try the bars or night clubs it kinda sounds like a bad idea to me. Try an area where you like to do things (for example if you like basketball go to a basketball court and meet a few people or try a club of your interest to connect with people)

[@dustlicker3]

@@Rhude_tiller this

[@natashamargarette8394]

Hi Cole!! I think your videos talking about these topics would be a great place to provide resources for those who are struggling with sui €id@l thoughts. A lot of people struggling with feeling alone might be watching these videos and providing them with free resources would be a great addition imo ! Great work as always 😊

[@ColeHastings]

Great idea. Do you have any suggestions?

[@Human_01]

​@@ColeHastings [ADVICE] MY-PHILOSOPHY: "INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. Example: In my mind, I visualise a picture of my younger self (family albums might help). And I 'remember' what the emotion of genuine love felt like. And then I project those emotions onto the mental visualization of my younger self. I meditate and hold that 'state of mind' for as long as I can. The result? I feel my conscious energy resignating with positivity and renewed strength. And my anxiety immediately evaporates away. At the very least, depending on my levels of anxiety, this mediation practice aids to 'evaporate' much of it. You can do the same thing with "trying to 'remember' temperatures, e.g. hot or cold. And then project that memory onto a visualised heat source (all within your minds eye). You will 'feel' the effects immediately." I hope this proved helpful.

[@Human_01]

​@@ColeHastings MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. ............................. "Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'. ............................. NEURO-PERSONALITY ............................. "SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤 'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality). THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic). WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs). ............................... Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists. ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism). Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level. SUMMARY Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology. [Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology. ///End ///

[@Purrl1775]

If everyone is the good guy then who are the bad friends? I think all of us have traits that other people don’t like or just can’t understand….

[@acewalker]

I don't even want friends. I just like to live my life by myself. I'm very anti-social. I don't see any value in friendships.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

I honestly do not blame you. You’ll be lucky that in this lifetime you find one good solid friend but it’s nothing wrong with riding solo. I been doing that the past 4 years and I gained my happiness and peace back I lost years ago

[@thomascharnock]

I literally have no friends. Lots of acquaintences but no friends.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

Same here I’m the same way

[@Hahahappy7]

Samee

[@jakariwright1170]

I don’t trust people with a lot of friends an acquaintance is one thing but I have 4 real friends in my life and that’s more than enough imo

[@duckwrth2472]

Love that you did this, Now i know i'm not alone in this... Thank you

[@scarletdragon1019]

I think we need to reshape what a friend is I think the most important thing should be about EFFORT. People nowadays don't want to put effort into anything, especially with social media in the middle. It's easy to get along with a stranger, but who are the ones around you that will put any effort to see you despite of their schedules? jobs, partner, etc. And also YOU, the reader, must put effort into it as well, do not simply expect them to put all the effort

[@automatedimagination]

Friendship is incidental, don't contrive interactions for the sake of adding a social element as a friendship is a versatile kinship and mutual understanding of thought that is every kind of bond, not just based on any one factor. No need to apply standards, "vibes" or any rites of passage if the trust of the other and ability to understand and communicate is already strong just by merely being among their presence often enough, the depth will develop from that basic foundation. There are far too many things to be productive for and to which spend our mental fruition to worry about superficialities.

[@automatedimagination]

Nope...

[@HeyHammadAusafi]

“Network and socialise.” Looooooool.😂

[@existentialextremity]

So many people yet so many people are alone

[@shokhapro]

For many people going outside and just talking to strangers is harder because of some of these things: mental problems, acne on face, toxic parents, ... So until you dont fix them you just physicaly cant walk n talk easily

[@halfdeadfish]

“There is no such thing as society. There are only individual men and women” - Margaret Thatcher We’ve heavily pushed rabid individualism over the last 40 years, and this is the inevitable result.

[@off-the-label]

Many are caring heart that got broken

[@anamantics]

I'm almost 30 with friends that are mostly online or through text. I have no in-person friends. I want in-person friends but I think it will never happen.

[@liammcgoldrick9941]

Great video would love to see multiple parts to this ! See more points of views. I’m currently experiencing my own existential crisis of my own. Hopefully times will change and people will become more connecting rather than like npc’s.

[@eribofaelkanah174]

Humans are social beings.. the idea of being alone and self isolation will destroy you.. social media is just a virtual world still and is only a part of the many experiences life can give to you.. go outside meet new people have fun smile, uplift others enjoy life to its fullest.. go visit friends and family.. promote love and positivity and feel better about yourself.. stop scrolling through your phone all day looking at stories, TikToks etc and depress over how other people's lives are better than yours cause it's not.. And Stop living in a loop.. get out now and try new things go hang out with buddies!! Love life and truly appreciate it

[@bigmanchicken4869]

😊

[@JustaRainbows]

I agree work on yourself I’m still at that stage where I’m climbing over a lot of hills to be comfortable with who I am today and do what I want to do in life so I can make it easier on myself to make quality friends. The real hard part is keeping them most of the best friendships are forged early in the beginning same for community’s. I also think that’s why it’s important for you or the other person to not wait too long or go on about life passing each other up. That’s not to say be patient be patient real growth takes time whether it’s with yourself or another person.

[@Ada-Wong.]

Is it actually looked down upon in society now days if someone has no friends…? Like what if I’m just really introverted and just completed highschool and me and my old friends are no longer in touch just from moving on in our lives? I don’t see that as bad necessarily. Since I’m introverted I’m fine socializing and making friends online if I don’t have the chances to make friends in person. It’s especially hard now days to make friends outside of school or if you’re an adult

[@AutomaticDuck300]

I’m an adult and it’s easy to make friends. Everyone is scared of what people think and they’re too scared to open up. Plus they think they can always get a better offer elsewhere. That’s the real problem.

[@AbelSesmas]

Only if it was easier like when we were kids because as we get older and turning into adults, it gets harder to make friends and it gets harder to find someone to date also

[@flaticon5146]

I feel like the most lonely person alive. I have tried getting close to people at school, gym, English class, etc but it seems like nobody wants me as a friend. All of my effort is making a conversation and trying to get close to that person and get the number when leaving to keep in touch online, but it doesn't work although I often try my best. My contacts list contains lots of people who I've met and talked to, but none of them is a friend with me and my last conversation with them might be 2 months ago. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't make friends 😔 Sorry for terrible English though

[@AmberyTear]

I feel like some sort of anomaly in this society because I make good, quality friends easily. I just don't have time for more than 10 people and also I have not seen anyone in person since I immigrated. The issue is that the people I know often have only me and noone else. I feel a lot of pressure because I know how important my support is for them but I can't figure out why they struggle to make friends. I don't know what am I doing differently from them and all of my advice to make friends has been useless to them so far. I feel so bad for them...

[@pro_muso]

I think it would be interesting to interview older people and see just how lonely they are in their life. When you are young, most people are put in social situations by our culture. As you get older, you pull away more. Either you outgrow people or they outgrow you. Priorities and interests change. I used to be very social. I am 51 and I have no friends I catch up with on even a semi regular basis. It's become a very solitary life. I wonder if it's common. Interesting study.

[@FlorenceRobbiano]

So true! And yes, from all the comments I have seen on the internet, it is very common ;) I think it is because family is put at the center of most people's life and friendship is something they work on when they have time for it. I think it is easy to see people all the time when you are very social as I am but I am not interested, like I was in my twenties, by convincing myself I am surrounded 😂. I have only two true friends (my dog included 😜) who can call me anytime and who are always there for me. But I know many people who think they are my friends. I don't have the same point of view. To me, a friend is not someone you call when you have nothing better to do but someone you want to spend time with. But I do understand that people are busy with their own life and I have learned to enjoy my own company. :) Wishing you the best!

[@pro_muso]

@@FlorenceRobbiano Well said.