5 Autistic Traits in Social Gatherings

[@ligavasara-brakmane4051]

​​I expressed it as - autistic adults also like parallel play. Sometimes we interact, sometimes we just are close to each other, doing our own stuff, like knitting, reading a book, drawing etc.

[@burnyizland]

LOVE parallel play. Prefer it 99% of the time.

[@Newtable_Blooms]

@@burnyizland Yes to this… in process of designing and developing the LEGO sunflower club as projects of an adult neurodifferent environmental advocacy action program. 🌻

[@AnimistMusic]

@@burnyizland yes me too. 😊

[@ArnoldJamesXT]

The biggest difference i have noticed between myself and NTs is that when they meet you, they straight up ask very personal, judgemenal questions. Eg. "Are you married?" "Where did you guys meet?" "Do you have any kids?" "What do you do for a living?". I don't ever ask those questions because its none of my business. I'd rather gradually get to know someone first, and they can tell me what they allow me to know about their personal life in their own time.

[@austinhernandez2716]

I'm confused, how do you get to know them though?

[@ArnoldJamesXT]

@austinhernandez2716 You can approach getting to know someone in whichever way feels most comfortable to you. I’m not suggesting there’s a definitive right or wrong method; I was simply sharing an observation I’ve made about the kinds of questions and topics that tend to arise when meeting new people.

[@redfishswimming]

Ask relevant questions; how do you know the host, did you come by car, do you like the food, I love the color scheme here…it’s really easy to get to know someone without jumping to rude intrusive questions about the personal life or marital status

[@m.w.njoroge7438]

Arnold, I totally agree with you. The other day, this guy in the mobile store was practically shouting, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" I responded, "I'm not really feeling this?..."🙁

[@jenniferwelsh4017]

@ArnoldJamesXT i feel like i am more direct (like the NTs you speak of). I just flat out ask stuff! No filters! 😅

[@lucyj8204]

Infodumping in autistic gatherings is electric - just the energy of someone enthusiastically telling you all the best bits about something.

[@aprilk141]

I miss Colin. Encyclopedic knowledge of everything JRR Tolkien ever wrote, plus good synthesis of the lore. Glass blower, pony tail master, lanky ass father and husband. Miss you bro

[@nonsequitor]

Do you not sometimes find it overwhelming?

[@lucyj8204]

@ not really - it's more like having an interesting documentary on TV than attending a lecture or class. You sort of reframe it in your head as an enthusiastic infodump and enjoy it in that context.

[@burnyizland]

YES! Normies don't realize what a gift we have to offer. So much better to find people to mind- meld with.

[@ZakkyMcZap]

Trait 1: Not being at social gatherings

[@Pupperski]

Yep 💯 😂 i was gonna say a similar thing! trait 1) Pathologically Demand Avoid Society.😂

[@Moskowitz-hf8hc]

😂

[@m.w.njoroge7438]

Hehehehehe...😏

[@marcse7en]

Trait 1: "Not being at social gatherings" ... I can confirm, this is 100% CORRECT! 👍🤣

[@lykanbluepaws]

@@Pupperski Aah but it's the Neurotypical gathering's that you like to avoid, if they are just for ASD types you might actually enjoy them perhaps? :3

[@andreas3330]

This was absolutely fantastic. I'm very late diagnosed and listening to you describe the "autistic social gathering" I've realized that when my little family is together (me, husband, son, daughter & son-in-law and their baby), we enjoy that sort of vibe. I'm the only officially diagnosed, but the others (excepting the 9 month old) all score as autistic on self tests. We're all introverts, too, so we're all most comfortable with each other. It's a fun group, but I'd love to meet up with others.

[@jenniferwelsh4017]

I havent been in any autistic social gatherings yet, but now im eager to! I notice that at parties, when i was younger (im a young 55!), i gravitated towards the pets and just hing out with them. Ir, i just looked at the host's books, records, movies, etc

[@hollygF1M]

Same

[@paulveenvliet9130]

It was pretty confusing for me when I described something that i considered an odd personal quirk, and the others reacted just with "yeah, of course you do it like that, that's what we all do". Like I threw out all my (new) kitchen towels in order to buy ones that all have the same colour and dimensions, so the pile looks less chaotic. But I do notice a difference in verbal abilities. My patience is very big, but then suddenly there's a limit and I become irritated (and excuse myself and leave - which is very much accepted also without any explanations). Some people have just so many struggles to express themselves, that they never get anywhere. With them, I am very good as a teacher, but not as an equal.

[@jenniferwelsh4017]

@paulveenvliet9130 Wow, so you see yourself as superior, then?

[@paulveenvliet9130]

@@jenniferwelsh4017 What? No, of course not. That is not what i write at all. Please read literally what i write and do not try to read between the lines, because there's nothing there. I am a professional guide including for groups with special needs. I notice that in this role I react very differently to some people compared than when i sit around the table with the same people. And because I react so differently, I just remove myself in certain situations. Where's the wrong in that? I also remove myself from neurotypicals in certain situations. Much better than having a public meltdown.

[@rengsn4655]

I recently realized that when other people engage in what they consider small talk with me, I don't always consider it small talk. I can eagerly engage with what they are saying if I feel like I have something significant to contribute

[@markpw2613]

Hi Paul, totally random but can u do a topic called Autism and not ageing much? Seems to be a feature where adults on the spectrum look much younger than there actually age and I'm wondering if their is a scientific or physiological link to this with Autism? I'm nearly 40 and can pass for 30 etc! Anyone else care to comment on this? Like if u agree

[@redfishswimming]

I’m 47, male, aspie, and can pass for 35 easy. Also, we seem to be a little bit chunky. And there’s no lines on a balloon so maybe that’s a thing too.

[@markpw2613]

@redfishswimming yea the weight thing is something I noticed too.

[@EmmaLemmon]

Yes! There's a genetic link to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome/Joint Hypermobility Syndrome which means extra flexible collagen. When I was being diagnosed the doctor commented that I looked younger than my age as part of the criteria. Also I think divergent thinking means we probably dress or present in a more interesting way or have playful hobbies that make us seem younger. However when I'm burnt out I feel old 😅.

[@alangello5]

No not random, very relevant. I wonder if sense of time passing by , or urgency, is different for autism

[@mim8099]

Also, being unexpectedly spontaneous, true to their feelings and thoughts, might have ASD people look younger, I think, because they then come closer to the teen spirit, while, usually, people tend to loose those qualities a bit, due to absorbing social conventions when reaching their adult age.

[@Wolit51]

I have experienced not knowing what to do because I'm so used to trying to appear normal by watching the other people around me. I think it has to do with masking, which I think I do more than I realized. It's hard to stop. I also go into a mode where I'm likely to babel nervously about things because I'm so used to people having no interest in what I'm saying. I'm glad you posted this video. I'll have to try a group again.

[@NAPS4UAusome]

This is how our monthly meetings go! The first time I came to a meeting, I was pleased to finally be able to connect with "normal" people and "talk about real things." Peer support groups are ausome!

[@elialeze00_]

these past few days have been stressful. It's reminded me again how I've lagged behind in terms of life from my peers. I'm not diagnosed but i sure as hell am soothing myself by means of watching relatable videos and content creators who talk about topics in neurodivergence and autism. reached zero battery... recharging...

[@assimilateborg]

The title is a little misleading. I would suggest "5 Autistic Traits in Autistic Social Gatherings". As I thought it was about how autistic traits work in general social situations.

[@kylefrancis7935]

Thanks for making this video! I was diagnosed as Autistic 6 months ago and have been hesitant to connect with Autistic groups but this video has helped me feel more confident to do this

[@MissingRaptor]

I loved hanging out with other neurodivergent people in the before times! It was fun to be able to sit in a room and just knit (that's my publicly acceptable stim) and literally not have to say anything unless I actually had something I felt I needed to contribute and noone thought I was weird (in a bad way) for it. It was wonderful 💖

[@brandy1011]

Sorry for off-topic, but the blurry person in the foreground at 10:14 desperately trying to cut their bread with a spoon was really quite disconcerting....

[@no_professional12]

Good spot 🤣

[@raymondwalters2723]

Lmao noticed it too

[@F00tsie]

I love listening to what other people are excited about, and being excited for them.

[@nessan4407]

This sounds so wonderful, I wish every social setting could be this calm and authentic.

[@CC-xn5xi]

Sometimes you gather info at a social gathering that helps your life. I didn't know that! I value that.

[@frenzyviz6296]

Oddly, as a (very) late diagnosed person, I would be afraid of being thought a fraud. Imposter syndrome. People’s reactions to the diagnosis, in the beginning, were almost saying they didn’t believe me, or it wasn’t important enough to take notice of. As a side note, I don’t think KZbin is notifying responses to comments any more, so I may not be able to respond to any replies to this.

[@redfishswimming]

Oh but we are all a little bit austistic or we all have something wrong with us is a common response. There’s a reason we have such strong interests outside of people.

[@rockermv10]

I am definitely a watcher although that will change in time. I get sensitive and feel left out if no one talks to me. It's hard to break into a group where they know each other. Also I was trying to make it with people who don't have HF Autism.

[@Jen.K]

Late self diagnosed here. This video is so validating, and explains the difficulties and confusion I’ve had my whole life with group socialising. I live in a somewhat remote part of Australia, it’s not likely that I could find an actual live group within my driving comfort zone, but just understanding what causes my difficulties, and that I’m not alone is enough for now. In some ways, knowing what’s going on, stops it from being difficult and brings it to a simple choice. When in a NT or mixed group, do I use my limited energy trying to mask and fit in, and then escape early, or do I be myself and let the chips fall as they do, and accept the outcome, without blaming myself.

[@hannehansen7214]

A couple months ago one of your videos appeared in my feed. I watched it and was shocked to learn - this is me! This is exactly how i am, this explains all those things, I, as 56yo, had given up on understanding. Ive found a local group in my city. Will attend soon.

[@Behind_the_Wall_of_Sleep]

As an aside, the weather has a significant effect on my wellbeing, especially low pressure weather systems. Interacting with others is even more exhausting.

[@toby9999]

I feel more relaxed in low-pressure systems, cloudy weather, cooler weather, rainy weather, winter, etc.

[@Behind_the_Wall_of_Sleep]

@@toby9999 I prefer cool weather, too. Where I live, though, a low pressure system is often accompanied by 95% plus humidity.

[@Behind_the_Wall_of_Sleep]

It's summer where I am, as well. When the temperature reaches 28% , 95% humidity and rain is coming from the tropics, it's hideous.

[@TurtlesRockALot]

I hide from the wind, hate the noise and don't want to leave the house. Unless I'm out hiking and then I love and appreciate it.

[@christinechapman9764]

Weather is one of my special interests. For me, it's never small talk. 😅

[@determineddaaf3]

I like attending monthly tabletop game middays for autistics in my local area. I still struggle to initiate conversations but I feel like I can be myself more than I would in most other spaces, and the tabletop games give something to do :)

[@TurtlesRockALot]

That sounds amazing!!! I've just discovered a local Silent reading bookclub, which isn't an autistic thing but is close.

[@sole-g4z]

Welcome back!

[@Prantika-g8f]

Do you know Why Autistic people make others uncomfortable?? why so???

[@Prantika-g8f]

Do you know Why Autistic people make others uncomfortable???? Why so??

[@duncand5148]

Yes. Welcome back!

[@darrenaris297]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@darrenaris297]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@JadeNunley]

I need to experience one of these autistic social gatherings. My only true friends are also ND, and I love how natural our conversations flow. I can't imagine what it would be like if everyone in the space was also ND. Usually, when my friends and I are in a group of people that are NT, people around us are either annoyed and can't keep up or amused by our conversations with each other.

[@itisdevonly]

This sounds like the ideal social gathering for me. And indeed, the social gatherings I've enjoyed the most probably had a disproportionately high number of autistic and neurodivergent people. I loved your description of the slow warm up, because that's exactly me. Silent at first while I observe, get comfortable, get the lay of the land, and then by the end I start to contribute more and I can be very talkative. It just depends on context.

[@SonjaLeiser-r5h]

I love your channel although I wouldn't see myself as autist - I feel like there are safe spaces in autistic gatherings that our society can learn a lot from - also non autistic people struggle with anxiety or feel socially overwhelmed and don't feel comfortable expressing themselves in their own authentic way. You are contributing in raising awareness for the necessity of safe spaces and you remind me of the importance of tolerance, of taking people as they are with all their unique traits as well as accepting myself with all my oddities. Thank you! 🙏🙏

[@marcydrake9159]

Thanks for putting this together. I tend to avoid social gatherings, but what you described sounds fun and interesting. ❤

[@Jae-by3hf]

😂 the last one is me! I’m that person! Last week I said to the group, that I had know about this group for 18 months before I actually joined and everyone was like: me too! Some were months, one person was 6 years! I think we all became best friends that day 😂 All the points are true, the way we jump from subject to subject is so smooth and like an intricate puzzle!

[@laura5425]

Could you please do a video on the topic, when you actually date another autistic individual and how it feels when you intuitively connect and speak the same language? Would love to hear your experiences in this and how others might have perceived it. THX

[@TurtlesRockALot]

Yes!! Which is similar to the theory that NDs flock together (we're all drawn to each other).

[@i3ignorantidelweb43]

I’d love to talk to an autistic gathering just to feel welcomed and have information about autism But I think I had a similar experience with a teacher in London (I don’t live there, I did a study trip) who was very unpredictable and didn’t follow any social norms and I felt so happy while others were uneasy. It felt so satisfying to have it switched for a week roughly.

[@wafflehussle]

I really stay away from most people but i think i'd really enjoy meeting you. You seem like such a genuine, smart and interesting man.

[@DeborahKregenow]

I love this, i am becoming more aware of how much I have been on the spectrum & never known,, I am learning so much about myself, and traits/symptoms i have noticed in my children & grandchildren. It is reassuring & enlightening to keep learning about this !! Thank you so much

[@bernddasbrodt8533]

This video was really eye opening for me. I'm female and do not have autism (neither diagnosed nor do I or people in my environment think I'm autistic) but I really like being myself, asking or talking about things I'm interested in right at that moment and not thinking about social rules even though I notice and understand them. I have a group of friend where I am the "odd one out" (being not autistic) and here I feel good and understood. But its also really important for me to have other friends too.

[@alisonwhite9588]

I was about to dismiss the "skipping the fluff" bit, just as I usually do, thinking, "I don't do that". Then I remembered my writing "skills" where I always simply type what I want to say and which I've learned over the years to go back, read over, adjust and add in an introductory sentence before my message. (My thanks to several managers over my career who've kindly pointed out how rude I can be!)

[@melaniebrueggemann5637]

Yeah I still cannot remember to do this and I regret it so much lol

[@alisonwhite9588]

@melaniebrueggemann5637 I'm old (a first-year Gen X) and it's taken me a lifetime to learn

[@TurtlesRockALot]

Goblin Tools is great for this!!! And Ai tools like Claude.

[@sildurmank]

Subtitles are borked in this video. They're from a different video than this one.

[@hollyann988]

Every thanksgiving and Christmas, family birthday parties, these are my autistic social gatherings and this list was very applicable for us 😊

[@Suzhistoryandmusic]

Thank you so much. Welcome back.

[@darrenaris297]

Thank you for sharing very informative and important.

[@h-aether]

I really love this positive appreciation of autistic socialising 😎🤠👽😺🙃. Would agree I have experienced all the traits in the online gatherings I've been part of. For me especially, I love that being open about social anxiety is normalised - this is soo refreshing and actually helps me to feel more at ease and connected with people. I used to get told revealing my anxiety would make people feel uncomfortable.. but I also think putting across fake confidence makes people uncomfortable. I think it's the authenticity that is really connecting in autistic groups, however each person expresses this.

[@lykanbluepaws]

First of all the first trait of skipping the fluff is mainly because we care much less about emotions, not just in others but as a total blanket, including our own, and we would rather not complicate things with emotions and be stoic and just not emotional at all, its difficult enough for us to keep our emotions under control so the last thing we want is to cause someone else to have any and risk losing control of our own. And as well, alot of emotions are difficult to understand for us and understanding them can take a long time, ive had to perform special social studies for decades to understand them even half as well as most neurotypicals seem to just naturally be able to. Although I do wish you would look further into ADHD because after at least 5 years of watching your videos i have definitely seen many traits that can only be explained if you have both in combination, especially as i also have both and can very easily see it in others that have both aswell. I could even do this when i was about 5 years old and watched someone in a TV show specifically someone like Miriam Margolyes, she most definitely has both and doesn't seem to have the slightest idea that she does. I didn't even know what ADHD or ASD was in 1987 but i could see she was like me in both those ways. And now i am so well studied in the symptoms of ADHD i could assess anyone on the planet and be correct, as long as i am a my best of course. I really do hope you will think about it again, and at leased learn about the symptoms enough to make completely sure, and i will say you can't really just trust a free online test for ADHD because none of those factor in someone having a combination of both. So that test you did some years ago is nowhere near enough proof of not having it, i myself could actually take any of the online ADHD tests and come out with a negative result because i know the symptoms so well i can just choose the leased ADHD one in the options or just pick based solely off what my ASD would choose. As it is the more tired i am the less ADHD i am likely to be and the more the ASD side of me takes the reigns as it were. And I can not recommend enough the you-tuber named Jessica McCabe because her videos were instrumental in helping me figure out if i have ADHD and it took me an entire year to realize i definitely do. Because just like yourself i found out i had ASD from an early enough age than i never knew i could have both, but in my case i was so unwell and slowed down by food poisoning, pollen allergies, general lack of sleep, dehydration and ADHD depression. So that in the end the constant fatigue meant after about the age of 8 i was unable to gain enough energy every day so i wasn't displaying enough typical ADHD symptoms as to be obvious to anyone so it was completely missed for 38 years by everyone, including myself. I care too much to not say anything, please if you'd rather keep this to a private text conversation id be glad to add you on Telegram where i could even send you the official ADHD assessment documents so you can see for yourself just how likely it is that you are ADHD, and i can even assess the forms for you to make sure. If the waiting years to be assessed is your main concern when thinking about trying to get an assessment, i would be willing to do that for such a prominent figure in the community as yourself.

[@stephen_pfrimmer]

That thing, Paul, is something absent. And it makes us strong. We can't sense our group's rules. I recall hearing that people with autism are insensitive to consequences. That needs some qualifying: people with autism need special boundaries, boundaries that we can all benefit from observing. Thank you Paul.

[@thecat3309]

Your videos are awesome and insightful. Thank you for making them!

[@melaniewantsabeer243]

Myself,brother, and son all hung out and it was eye opening Never in my life did I feel one of them in a group of people Even 2 people I felt like an outsider With my Brother and son that functions like I do It was awesome that we actually understood each other and felt one of them for the 1st time in my life

[@jackyAAme]

Thank you i loved your video, it was super helpful and has really encouraged me to seek out a social group.

[@gadeyeye6268]

Great video Paul. I appreciate it.

[@laymayday]

Autistic social gatherings are the best! 😍

[@darrenaris297]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@nathanhallisey441]

Been going to several adhd events via meet up for a year or so and been told my my adult kid, i am defiantly Autistic. I am looking forward to joining a group soon. I don't like groups but feel at home in the adhd group.

[@Geaners100]

Spot on! 😁

[@mikegaurnier]

Wow, what a wonderful video, Paul. I've never experienced socializing with a group of autistic people, not even high functioning senior adults. But I would fit right in and have a blast. I'd be one of the BYOE people (bring your own energy 😂). Just the joke should diagnose me since I've never had someone with important papers framed on the wall give their disassociated opinion. I've always been curious how neurotypicals could tell me anything since I have no idea what it's like to be neurotypical. Wouldn't it be the same for them? Seems like most opportunities involve money, diagnoses, or both. Oh well, I've made it this far. At my age I could get to the end anytime. 😜

[@MocSomething]

"it's snowing! We just had a 35 degree day!" "SO DID WE! THAT'S WHY IT'S SNOWING!" (Celcius vs Farenheit joke)

[@user-zr6pl6nb6z]

35 degrees is above freezing. It's possible to get snow in 35 degree weather, but usually it would be very wet.

[@MocSomething]

@user-zr6pl6nb6z fair enough! I don't live near snow or in a place where Farenheit is used, so I'm not overly familiar. Hopefully you appreciated my attempt at humour

[@user-zr6pl6nb6z]

@ It's fine. I do have Asperger's, so I'm pretty literal at times.

[@MocSomething]

@@user-zr6pl6nb6z no worries at all! I can be too! I've never experienced 35 F, but living in Australia, see 35 C all the time!

[@shaynaformity1384]

I got the joke, and I did actually laugh out loud. I live in New England, and it does often snow when it is above freezing, because it's often colder at higher altitude and the snow melts, sometimes before it even meets the ground. And I'm in an online social group with a bunch of Canadians and Europeans, so we're always trying (and mostly failing) to translate F and C, which is simultaneously mildly frustrating and amusing.

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

Where is your Discord server? Is that paywalled off through patreon or your website? I tried looking it up and as I'm also from Victoria Australia find it odd that your server doesn't come up in discovery at all.

[@gerhuneng]

Thank you so much!

[@Stormbrise]

I use my phone and mindless merge games to focus on what is being said around me when I need to concentrate during role play. Husband hates it but he has yet to catch me out not following along. It gives me a safe thing to look at, so I do not feel I have to look at my other players/friends. Plus, I think we are all neurodiverse, so I just keep that to myself and play and have fun. I think board gaming and role playing are great ways to socialize as autists.

[@vpreob]

Looks like you have uploaded wrong subtitles for "English", these don't beat with the speech (tho, English-Created Automatically are better) edit: Oh. uderstood, they are off by ~ 3 minutes - "oh, it's snowing where you are" phrase goes in video is at 2:57, in subtitles it is at 0:14

[@MAC...007]

Thanks.🙂

[@xFelix1307x]

That sounds great, I kinda want such a gathering here

[@melissawood4317]

Thank you!

[@GoregeusGoblin]

do people diagnosed with autism look down on self-diagnosed people? I have been watching ASD content on youtube for about a year. most of the topics resonate with me. i have discussed it with my mom and my doctor, both said "no, youre not autistic because xyz" i told a new friend within 10 minutes of meeting them, since the convo got deep quick. she said "yeah, i know" its a weird type of imposter syndrome because it seems to fit but its not official. I dont know it i even want a diagnosis because from what ive heard it can be expensive and difficult the first recommended video is your video about imposter syndrome , so thanks for that

[@TurtlesRockALot]

Hi there! In my observation of neuro-affirming online communities, self diagnosis is valid. There's so many reasons people may choose not to get a professional diagnosis - money, time, fear of consequences of it on their medical record, feeling it's irrelevant. My humble opinion is, if you resonate with what people are saying, and the tips and advice improves your quality of life, then all good. You can always go thru the diagnostic process later, if you choose. I hope that helps a little.

[@Adriell.h.b.]

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned that the captions are not synced. Like, very badly not synced. Like missed a paragraph or is it the captions for another video badly synced. very weird. Otherwise I like it, and it makes me want to join a group, even though I am otherwise very anxious to join a group.

[@markmuller7962]

ADHD social interactions have a lot of these characteristics too!

[@MostlyLoveOfMusic]

you're such a great guy

[@Stfguac]

What I noticed with some autistic gatherings is everyone having a completely different train of thought and conversations make no sense 😅. My brain has a setting I can turn on to get to know people and that works in general social situations. But in autistic spaces, that just results in a one sided conversation: me asking questions, them answering. And sharing my interests randomly doesn't feel right, either because you wanna gauge whether someone is interested in your thing. Otherwise it's just a monologue I can do in a mirror. I just can't make sense of it. I like connecting with people, but it's hard sometimes

[@AMVYV]

Readyyyyy

[@stefanmargraf7878]

Love that. Would like to participate in autistic gathering. I met only one autist in a time. And thats not very often. Therefore feel alone most of the time. In Germany, Frankfurt there seem to be not much activity.

[@infidelcastor]

The texting is not syncing with the video and the sound unfortunately 😊

[@TurtlesRockALot]

As a side quest 😉 The small talk fluff factor is interesting - in NT terms, it's a way of seeking, testing and forming trust (evolutionarily speaking). So if autistic people tend not to seek it, what does that mean - are we seeking it in other ways? The oft-repeated ease of communication that people report when only with other autistics could play in (?). Yes? No? Irrelevant? (I'd love to research this!)

[@MiljaHahto]

Ouch, the subtitles timings are WAY off... Having auditory processing issues it makes following extra difficult.

[@rickenbacker6]

I've never been to a decidedly ND meeting or group but have been around other ND people, both in family and in the workplace and have observed ND traits in more distant people. I'm afraid to say, it makes me very uncomfortable (at the mildest end) down to angry or even close to a meltdown. I want to scream at them "ACT NORMALLY! Why do you behave like that? Why do ask these questions? Why don't you know this?" I think I feel more at ease in a NT space that lets me just be without a lot of interaction.

[@wesleyhall3554]

I will have to check later, but I don't think there are any events like this for adults in my state.

[@grenade8572]

Would it be rude to join autistic gatherings if I'm not diagnosed and if I'm not sure about my auto-diagnostic?

[@brandy1011]

This is also a big inhibitor for me. I have heard multiple times now that these gatherings are totally accepting with regards to self-diagnoses, but still can't shake the fear that I would intrude into something where I don't belong.

[@EmmaLemmon]

It would be totally fine. There is likely a mix of people (some supporting) anyway not just autistic.

[@grenade8572]

@@EmmaLemmon Thank you! I hope I'll find a gathering in my country. :) Or I'll try to find a discord. ^^

[@user-zr6pl6nb6z]

I'm high-functioning (they used to call this Asperger's). I wouldn't fit in with people elsewhere on the spectrum.

[@toby9999]

​@user-zr6pl6nb6z I'm the same. I was wondering about that, too.

[@AKKTerry]

What about in non autistic group/space? My grandson attends several different groups with me. He is 20 and they say level 1. Any help?

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

The level of acceptance he receives depends on the members of those groups and their knowledge experience with autistic people. Educate them on what autism looks like in your grandson as behaviours come up. If you try to tell people everything about autism all at once then they are less likely to retain the info and it will seem like too much. If you make it more personal about your grandson they are more likely to care.

[@AKKTerry]

@@AcademicOmnifarious thanks! Most people in my groups are very accepting. Do you have anything on loud sounds, bright lights, large crowds?

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

@@AKKTerry Just the standard noise cancelling headphones and to allow him to take breaks from the group if he starts to feel a bit crowded. Bright lights and glare are something I also struggle with and it is difficult. If the room where the group is meeting has fluorescent lights try to sit near any windows where natural light is coming in unless there is like a car park full of glare coming off the cars outside. In that case he may also need to take breaks by going to a place nearby with natural lighting or a green space such as a seating area with plants. Hopefully you can find a green space without smokers ruining it.

[@AKKTerry]

@@AcademicOmnifariousthanks much!

[@coldlyanalytical1351]

Retired, late diagnosed, had a successful high tech career here. Would I gain anything in attending a meet up?

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

In theory, yes, if you can find one. It is supposed to be a good break from your life by others who understand you or the frustrations you have to deal with. A sense of belonging and not being alone is the main thing on offer. It doesn't matter what profession you have/had or your social economical status you've achieved or not. It is about the traits we share.

[@coldlyanalytical1351]

@@AcademicOmnifarious Tx!

[@humaniodalien]

Find a group with common interests you like.

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

@@humaniodalien Then that wouldn't be an autistic social gathering. The video is about meeting up with other autistic people. Generally speaking if you were looking to join a group for hobbies or sports that would work but they're not all going to be autistic then are they?

[@toby9999]

I'm the same. Age 65, just retired from decades of software development.

[@kairosjct]

quick comment - i think the subtitles don't match the audio/video at all?

[@c0mm3nt-m8e]

Multiple times when I called family or colleagues, I jumped straight into a question I wanted ask. They stopped me and said: "Maybe hi at first? How are you?"

[@jasonp7449]

How do i join the discord server

[@PatchworkDragon]

One thing I've noticed (and really appreciate) is that people don't expect everyone to remember them. Forgot their name? Just ask. You say "nice to meet you" to someone who's been there for months? No big deal. I think this is because a lot of autistics deal with memory issues or prosopagnosia, so they understand that others may struggle as well.

[@i3ignorantidelweb43]

Why don’t you do a discord server for your audience?

[@artangel23]

I suspect I’m autistic, and I’m open to meet other autistic people in the kinds of spaces, but so far, all my interactions with other autistic people have been negative. I feel like they don’t really care about what I have to say, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak and sometimes they completely ignore what I just said and go on a rant. It’s just too one-sided for me.

[@EarthFirstGoVegan]

I have no desire to engage with anyone. Any social interactions are torture for me.

[@xlucikx]

[@andreasplosky8516]

I do not do social gathering. I do not wish to do so. I do not enjoy it. I do not want to hear personal details of others, and do not wish to share mine. It is too much information. Too much useless information. I don't need it. It drains all the energy out of me.

[@Ayla77-K]

I can totally relate to what you are saying 🙏💛

[@GenericAccountVLR]

I do not like green eggs and ham.

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

you are sharing your experience right now though...

[@MountainWoman68]

My experience with autistic social gatherings has been uniformly negative.

[@Vcenxzzz]

Hello I was wondering if you would be able to be our community partner for my schools project on autism! We would love to have a chat or zoom call with you to learn more about autism! Thank you

[@mazz3736]

I hate it when KZbin edits in a bunch of stupid actors! It's annoying and patronising. I don't want to see that 😠

[@SciHeartJourney]

The only times that I'm with a group of people is because my BOSS wants us to supervise him at his *stupid* staff meetings. I'm not uncomfortable because it's a social setting. I honestly don't give a 💩 what other people think of me. 😒 I just *hate* that my boss won't let me do *my job* while he's having me watch him do *his* lousy managerial job. His job *SUCKS* and I HATE watching him do it. 😡👎 Do I sound autistic to you? 🤔

[@lorijudd2151]

I am a "normal" older woman. My late husband had an autistic oldest daughter, but she is high functioning. She has a master's degree in Legal Studies. When my husband passed away in early 2020 I invited my stepdaughter to come live with me. She did so, bringing her two dogs, her cat, and all her issues. I decided that my late husband would have wanted me to look after Kim. She is terrible at managing her money, she really struggles with social issues, she loves her animals, but on a "cute and cuddly" level, and she has a few other issues that simply will never go away. But she still works at a law firm. I watch your videos because they have taught me so much about Kim. You've really helped me be more empathetic and understanding. Keep up the good work!!!

[@specialuset8022]

Please don’t use the term “high functioning”. It’s problematic and just oversimplifies the experience of being autistic. Based on what you said, your daughter could also be “low functioning” because of the areas she struggles in. That’s why you can’t simply label someone as low or high functioning.

[@magdalenemoondragon6648]

lol

[@dannyjonze]

This is just normal socialising, you're not all 'autistic'

[@blusafe1]

I love it when people are like "that's not autistic, my kid isn't autistic, my parents aren't autistic......that's just typical normal stuff because I'm like that". Then I'm like okay tell me more about the 50 types of boxes you collect, or the piles of board games and puzzles in your room.

[@MichaelTavares]

why are you here engaging with this channel?

[@brandy1011]

If this is all so normal, why doesn't all socialising work like that?

[@EmmaLemmon]

Autistic is normal, you're right.

[@meaculpa22]

The things people say before peer review lol You just sound like my relatives In denial 😂