"Foxes" That Aren't Foxes, Wine Palms and Beach Cacti

With the aid of a Smart-assed Southern Hemisphere "False" Fox (and perhaps some Guanacos) , we are able to encounter botanical delights despite the harsh drought that Central Chile is in, including some terrestrial bromeliads that seem evolutionarily convergent with our Northern Hemisphere Agaves.
Species list :
Lycalopex griseus (Patagonia Fox)
Miqueliopuntia miquelii (Cactaceae)
Eulychnia sp.
Vachellia caven (Fabaceae)
Lithraea caustica (Anacardiaceae)
Trichocereus chiloensis (Cactaceae)
Convolvulus chilensis
Puya chilensis
Jubaea chilensis
Crinodendron patagua (Elaeocarpaceae)
To ensure that low-brow educational content (an antidote to the depressing nature of modern human society Aka "the modern tumor") continues to be spewed forth onto the expensive suit of the world, consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt or throwing a couple bucks to PayPal account : [e-mail]
Questions, hate mail, advice, semi-coherenr sociopathic ramblings : [e-mail]
To purchase shirts, hoodies and other merch that will emphasize your fascination with evolution, floristics and biophilia; as well as your irreverence for most of the rules and standards of modern human society :
www.bonfire.co...

[@Wolfhound429]

Never in my life have I ever been called a salty puke. I'm blushing.

[@chriswalford4161]

Wolfhound429 : better far than a bitter one

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

He's a real sweet talker ain't he? 😀

[@redteller]

Lol

[@boa9535]

Yes! And I’m so grateful for it.

[@Grateful_Dad_54]

Loved how the fox wasn't shy about capitalizing on the water. You're the best!

[@jamesdriscoll9405]

That fox took surprising risks. Good thing it wasn't a cougar.

[@snuugumz]

mohosavich well, whaddafuck do you expect? You referred to him as ‘Rabbit’ when clearly he was responding to being called ‘Wabbit’. Or ya prolly coulda called him ‘Jack’.

[@snuugumz]

mohosavich my apologies, I misunderstood; I got the part when your friend was saying ‘wabbit’, but somehow I thought you were saying rabbit. Maybe try ‘scwewy wabbit’. Variations on a theme an what da shit...

[@100GTAGUY]

Gotta get it while the gettings good

[@nancynickerson4341]

Best botanituber ever.

[@jfangx]

Gotta love that low brow edumacation

[@Melmin447]

Tryin' to have convo with napping fox, "I feel like yer not listening to me". LOL...story of my life. 😂

[@saml7610]

When you said Miqueliopuntia, you said it like "Mikayla will punch ya" which reminded me of my college girlfriend who was named Mikayla and she definitely punched me. Boys, girls, people of all sorts - don't let anyone who claims to love ya be the person who hits ya (unless it's between consenting adults and it's a kink thing, in which case, tell em to hit you harder). If someone who you think you love hits you, you should reconsider what you feel and stand your ground if it happens again. Tensions can run high, but it took me a long time to learn that it's not ok for people to hit each other (unless they're nazis, you should absolutely hit nazis) no matter what happens, especially if they claim to love each other. Folks, stand up for yourselves, don't let Mikayla hit you.

[@thedepartmentofredundancyd5160]

Definitely don't let the Michaelas punch yas! I know you jest but be careful of exceptions that allow violence (kink is not violence). Do NOT punch national socialists either! Not even dead WW2 National Socialist German Workers' Party members. Ewww. But if you find a NEO, send them to me and I'll talk them down. Conflict and vilification always proves them right, and they multiply! Don't get me started on ethno-nationalism! Have you ever been to Pakistan or India or South Korea or Communist China? Holy crap were my innocent eyeballs unrelentingly peeled open. If ethno-nats are evil then holy crap that's more than half the planet. I can't talk that many people down from the ledge! Yikes!

[@itookallthenames]

Reminds me of Cyndrilo at my school, don’t look at Cyndrilo

[@Zogerpogger]

@@itookallthenames back over your local Cyndrilo's head with a truck

[@christinekobzeff]

“Hello, excuse me, do you wanna get in the van?” ...and the llamas actually look over. Loved that! 😂

[@kenhunt2861]

You, Tony, are one good man. Thanks for the views and the views and the education. Extra points for your kindness to animals.

[@enlightenCA]

i really liked the water for the fox. right on.

[@someoneoutthere7512]

there ya go touching the Tristerix aphyllus berries. next thing ya know you will be sprouting flowers from your head!

[@kittycatwild9283]

I love how you treat the animals like people! You're the only guy I can watch who talks about plants and doesn't bore me. Awesome job thanks.

[@malkie638]

My mum is now watching your wonderful show, she's 85 now and been up an Alp or two, and many a Munroe too, safe journeys 😎

[@cgriggsiv]

It was awesome of you and your friends to give that desertfox some water

[@TheO416]

aah yes, my daily 30mins of getting back on earth

[@corndogsanchez2752]

He not only talks to plants, ya know, he's Dr. Dolittle, too!

[@robstone9628]

KZbinr of the year! So glad I found your channel.

[@danellonzo1887]

I found you yesterday and I’m thrilled to meet another plant loving maniac! Especially with the accent of my home town!

[@XoroksComment]

They call it the Chilean Wine palm because they used to ferment the palm sugar in the palm hearts, not the fruit. So by cutting down the trees. As this is a very long lived and slow-growing palm, they've been classified as threatened in their native habitat because of overutilization

[@pameladallaire]

As a Master Gardener, under the Master Gardeners of Ontario, Canada, I'd like to thank you for re-igniting my interest in plant physiology! Geology is what I studied first and seeing you bring together plants and their geological habitat makes me want to explore my own backyard, if it weren't under 4 feet of snow right now. :)

[@AndyFyon]

Green rock could be epidote, but still may indicate seawater alteration and subduction. Interesting rock. Cool.

[@TheProfessor936]

Guy cracks me up! Reminds me of an old buddy of mine when I was in the Navy. Keep doing what you're doing, brother!

[@The_Crucible714]

Tony reminds me of so many buddies I had growing up in Brooklyn, NY. Only a very slight variation in accent but same, exact energy & salt of the earth!

[@jfangx]

Came for the education stayed for the fur friends.

[@DanTaninecz]

Unfortunately, I can only upvote your sarcastic and brilliant political commentary once. Well said.

[@BluSpot]

on a scale of 1-10 how swole are your calves from all this walking

[@BubblewrapHighway]

Swollll with 4 L's to represent his legs.

[@creeperFIN123]

I was there in central Chile looking at all the plants wandering what they were. Well thanks now i know

[@donovanarauz2626]

This videos should have thousands of views, its therapeutic to watch

[@nauticalstar8363]

I love this Tony Soprano, the botanist.

[@ParallelPenguins]

I would watch a full on livestream of you just wandering around going off about what ever plants you see at that moment and answering questions. I'd love that.

[@BubblewrapHighway]

"Monocausality is the bane of good analysis." -Patrick Wyman

[@unapammcollins2003]

So fucking fabulous man. Truly beautiful. Hope to move my boat down that way some day. Awesome work! Thanks man. You help my days a bit more bearable. East coasty transplant to the Hood Canal in the PNW.

[@rickjames154]

Yes my favorite foul mouthed tuber....thank you

[@webbess1]

I LOVE the way you talk to animals.

[@andymelero9316]

you crack me up "agua con gas"!!!! lol

[@BubblewrapHighway]

AHGUA COHN GYAS

[@Smileyson58]

You had me at “filthy Pukes”

[@truvelocity]

Soros... chemtrails... plot to get scientists grant money... LOL!!! This sir, earns you a thumbs up.

[@thelightisbrightandtheshad1301]

i did the same thing ha ha ha very nice ive lost count of how many videos from this awsome fella he speaks my language :-)

[@108108qwerty]

Great vid so far, thanks for the hard work and dedication

[@dritanbega6461]

Respect for your Talent ans passion . Priceless videos.Thank you for sharing

[@bretttobin9632]

Thank you for taking the time to help me broaden my horizons, love the cacti episodes.

[@sullyb14]

That bolder at 9:20 is textbook serpentinite, used to be olivine and pyroxene, and you're right it has been cooked, and is a key petroindicator for subduction!

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Thanks! Was much too hard (and a little too lime-green) for serpentine, though I wish! Surprisingly I didn't see that much serpentine, though I did see a lot of the rocks it tends to occur with... Nothing with the right soft, soapy texture though. In the video with the pink flower as the thumbnail there's a bit of it too, occurring with some blueschist.

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

I have a E.chiloensis here in Haytown. It was like 8" 10 years ago..it's gotten to the 54-56" range,and very knobby trunk..some do.some don't,this do. You forgot to mention that the Wine palm seeds are delicious to people too. They taste like coconut with a few drops of milk in them. In the bay area two are in Fremont's Shin Park that were planted in 1840 or 1870..something like that, and they might be the two most massive palms in the state. Huge girth. Always watered does that. They don't taper much,again all the watering.

[@NewMessage]

Nice to see this landscape after just shoveling the driveway for 2 hours.

[@davidonfim2381]

@mohosavich Or a lot of snow, or snow that is fairly packed. I don't have a driveway, but I timed how long it took me to make a path to the sidewalk once (as well as clearing a small part of it), and it was half an hour. Clearing an entire driveway would take quite a bit longer than that.

[@tamasmihaly1]

Thank you very much, sir! This channel is tops.

[@nikburton9264]

Did you know that avocado is an Aztec word for testicle? The Axtecs referred them as testicle fruit.

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

They DO look similar in shape 😂😂

[@justincredible4776]

The way they hang off the tree... I can see it.

[@muscovyducks]

Probably rolls off the tongue (if you'll pardon the expression) better than the more literal "scrotum" (with testicles inside.)

[@theguywhoeats1]

@@muscovyducks the word is ahuacatl. Pronounced: ah-wa-cat; hard aspiration on the t

[@STROONZONY]

my wife loves avocados

[@TheBoshy]

Everytime Tony says variation on a theme, mutate.

[@BubblewrapHighway]

I WANNA BE THE BOSHY!!!!

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

Oh shit. If Tony disappears, it was Opus Dei. Hafta agree tho, Apocalypto was pretty bangin.

[@reginafallangie2867]

Knowledge is sexy...And you sir are *VERY* knowledgeable. 😉

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

Ah, good ol' Riverside: the armpit of LA. 😂😂 You know that used to be all beautiful orange groves in that area? And now it's one big slab of concrete full of meth heads. Humans are super! :/

[@TheDancingHyena]

yeah riverside used to be so nice

[@robertcuff5704]

I still love there... :/

[@snuugumz]

Beeble Brox I grew up in San Bernardino and when the orange groves in Redlands would bloom- OH, MY GAWD!- it was heavenly.

[@AGDinCA]

I live in Riverside county; it's not so bad. All the hoopy foods live here. 😉

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

@@snuugumz I only heard stories about it from my relatives because most of that area was pretty much a slab of concrete by the time I came along. I'm sure much of it has improved thanks to the last decade of fly over state natives moving there. I adore the state but the politics are just not my thing. Too many competing interests and half of them bat shit crazy 😂

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

A new video makes my afternoon. Thank you

[@phoebephoebe7063]

Is there a job where you tell people what plant should be planted where and where it would do best? If so you would be the best at that job!

[@CaalamusTube]

Landscape Architect.

[@allgodsnomasters2822]

Aforestation specialist, no pay now ofc but we'll need it

[@phoebephoebe7063]

@@allgodsnomasters2822 nice one! I hope the pay will increase as companies want to look more "green" by planting trees, helping with reforestation etc. however I doubt people would really care if the trees are good in their environment and will survive there

[@phoebephoebe7063]

@@CaalamusTube good shout :)

[@thenormalyears]

theres a seed bank in my state ( kentucky ) that specializes in native plants only and they get a lot of business. you can always research into what plants are native to your area and try to seek them out

[@cgriggsiv]

Can't wait to see this video after work Thanks for the hard work that you put into your videos

[@justmemesmyselfandi3210]

I appreciate your channel so much. This is an amazing hobby!

[@bluetoad2001]

that little pick morning glory is cool as hell✌️👍

[@mattlohrentz9518]

The fox bit is ridiculously hilarious!!!

[@BackBruck]

I love the way buddy here gives the genus...dem fancy verbiage dere.👍

[@_siggi_783]

Those morning glories are sick, what's going on with the petals looks like a cone

[@jonathanschadenfreude9603]

one minute in tony and i can tell this aint a place to be tripping and falling hands or face first! whoa some of those cacti beat barbed wire!

[@Iruparazzo]

right i was just thinking 'i should plant some of those in front of my windows' lol

[@kmm129]

Gut-busting funny on this Turkey Day.

[@dannyhardesty1102]

The wine is made from the inside of the trunk sugers. They kill a inter tree. :(

[@siggyincr7447]

Same here in Costa Rica. It's Vino de Coyol. As far as I understand it they cut the palm down down and harvest the sugary liquid that comes out over the course of a few days. Luckily the palm they use for it here seems to be pretty common.

[@dancarrigan5039]

I love the shit out of your videos! You guys are doing amazing work thank you so much!

[@mrpieceofwork]

You say "Which are pretty irritating and obnoxious...", and I think "Like you are." and then you say "Much like I try to be" Yep. LOL

[@lensperspective9753]

Chile, Afghanistan, and Nevada has like the same type of land I swear, I could live in all of them

[@roygbiv5164]

"Sometimes you gotta give da foxes water...ya know?" Indeed!

[@The_Crucible714]

Trail mix too. 😂

[@talk2kev]

I really enjoy your channel . Your urban assault planting is awesome .

[@JohnWilliams-nx2no]

you gave that lil foxy so much water! i love this guy!

[@madhatte73]

Yo chucklefuck I got my "Stop Humanity" shirt so thanks for that, this tender moment brought to you by Capitalism (tm)

[@alisonburgess345]

Geez - I’ve got no experience at all with cacti in the wild. This is really interesting....! Nice video - what a place.

[@michaelsage6649]

Plants rocks and comedy will save the whirled. -gfckyrslf

[@kendranethery8214]

You should add tank tops to your store for all your designs! I love them all and I love your channel! So informative and fun❤

[@Urbanforager]

That Mountain View along the road very pretty

[@racheller8753]

Incredible 🌱🌺....

[@fullcircle.organics]

Wow thanks youtube algorithm! Saw those Puya chilensis in Peru and wondered what they were... Super informative stuff!

[@KayentaRojo]

“Agua con gas” 😂😂😂but holy shit was that Puya chilensis just heavenly. I love me some desert Bromeliads!!

[@cgriggsiv]

I always knew you had a heart 💓 A heart for Earth and her flora and fauna not so much for the human trash

[@dodorik7114]

wooow that tristerix aphyllus is so insanely interesting.

[@lycanzhp1141]

Thank you.

[@Archaeopteryx128]

Lots of uplift on the Pacific Coast of South America. One quake which Charles Darwin described lifted some areas over a meter.

[@andreah5554]

I have always wanted to visit South America. Thank you for the vicarious travel, especially away from touristy bullshit.

[@cnutjay]

the madman always tells the truth , a saying from some fkn guy

[@PPYTAO]

It’s like you’re at the bottom of a dried out ocean 😍

[@Smileyson58]

I nearly jumped when you showed the Puya❤️ mine is bright bluey green it’s amazing!

[@weederminb7091]

Really good videos, would be amazing if you talked about wild mushrooms on Vancouver island. Your knowledge is amazing 🍁⛰

[@gland5848]

I like that plants can't talk back.

[@Trund27]

Flowers don’t bloom - THEY GO OFF.

[@The_Crucible714]

Plants get “lit up” when they bloom. My grampa used to get a different kind of “lit up” on occasion. 😜

[@BenLe42]

ah man, you're videos crack me up, and show me some really far out landscapes. I live in South Africa, so shit looks real different here

[@lensperspective9753]

We got something like that in Nevada, we got kit fox, cute lil ol things, dont really hunt them myself, on the count it's rare I see them these days

[@mart5392]

watching this in my new crew neck (incredibly comfy btw)

[@swimbait1]

Great you were able to get so close to the Fox without him seeming to notice.

[@meliholmes]

Oh wow I've never seen Catsup and mustard flowers before😯

[@sun-shine_girl]

Came for his accent stayed for the education and his love for animals 💜

[@PlasticR0b0t]

Awww, what a guy! Watering the "foxes" and showing us all the gorgeous plants! 😍I want to smell those bell-shaped flowers. Is the lobelia fragrant?

[@Frank-zs1wk]

i like my agua "sin gas" too

[@annebeakke8877]

I could show you a beach in Mexico near Tampico that is nothing but those rocks. No sand or gravel, just smooth rocks.

[@Thylamis]

its fucking amazing to learn from you, hope you make it all the way to the south

[@JohnClark-sl7ps]

I think the faux was so happy he made all those spins lol

[@barross0505]

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Crinodendron patagua was going off because of the extreme drought stress and decided to try and seed before it’s death.

[@ZebbMassiv]

Are there any videos of what species are in your home? I wanna see your prize weeds

[@The_Crucible714]

I’d love to see his garden; *”I need this for my collection!”* 😂

[@olafelsberry9271]

I love how this fuckin man educated himself.

[@sock2828]

I am so glad pretty much the entire beachline of Oregon is public land.

[@buillioncubes]

California coastline is too, but the rich fucks would like you to think otherwise. Washington is working on their coastline, but it's an expensive mistake to correct.

[@xXian90Xx]

32:40 lmao heck yeah the vineyards are actually burning tho

[@РоманЛысенко-я4ь]

I am a sadomasochist now I know where I want to live !!! There are many thorns.

[@debmoulton6607]

Chilla, Lycalopex griseus. In case you need to know that.