The Alien that Lives Inside a Cactus

  Рет қаралды 57,223

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

4 жыл бұрын

Back at the lower elevations of the coastal range, deep within the fog belt and close to the Pacific Ocean, we explore the salty granite flats of the coastal Atacama Desert (because more than a mile or two inland, plant life, and ALL life, tapers off dramatically). We encounter a variety of wild-ass plant species adapted to these "cool" deserts with roughly the same climate as San Francisco, but by far the weirdest plant occurs at the end of the episode and has a distinct and wonderful relationship with birdshit.
Cast of species for this episode :
Skytanthus acutus (Apocynaceae)
Encelia canescens (Asteraceae)
Perityle emoryi (Asteraceae)
Frankenia chilensis (Frankeniaceae)
Southern Sea Lion
Many-Spotted Iguana
Copiapoa dealbata (Cactaceae)
Tristerix aphyllus (Loranthaceae)
Selliera radicans (Goodeniaceae)
To ensure that low-brow educational content (an antidote to the depressing nature of modern human society Aka "the modern tumor") continues to be spewed forth onto the expensive suit of the world, consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt or throwing a couple bucks to PayPal account : crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com
Questions, hate mail, advice, semi-coherenr sociopathic ramblings : crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com
To purchase shirts, hoodies and other merch that will emphasize your fascination with evolution, floristics and biophilia; as well as your irreverence for most of the rules and standards of modern human society :
www.bonfire.com/store/crime-p...

Пікірлер: 216
@thedudegrowsfood284
@thedudegrowsfood284 4 жыл бұрын
"sounds like a wookie torture dungeon" I'm dyin here.
@Rob.P974
@Rob.P974 4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😄😄😄😄wtf !!
@mikelewellen4195
@mikelewellen4195 4 жыл бұрын
That soil looks like something they would use for the intro in a 90's music video.
@Iruparazzo
@Iruparazzo 4 жыл бұрын
"this soil's hilarious" lmao
@nonoluigi
@nonoluigi 4 жыл бұрын
Just as was thinkin', "Perfect for the bathroom . . . ," I turn over the card and see: "Psycho Ward Green". Sherwin! Williams! You're kiilin' me here!
@TheNaturalProgressive
@TheNaturalProgressive 4 жыл бұрын
I am SO excited for our interview when you get back! Safe travels!
@valhala56
@valhala56 4 жыл бұрын
There is much to learn on how climate change will act on vegetation. A big gap on my knowledge for sure. A must to learn post haste!
@TheNaturalProgressive
@TheNaturalProgressive 4 жыл бұрын
@@valhala56 Yes!
@RatDad69
@RatDad69 4 жыл бұрын
I don't come here for the botany, that's just a bonus. I come here to listen to him talk s*** about Humanity
@adobedoug2564
@adobedoug2564 4 жыл бұрын
Misspelled Username people are monsters.
@captainboing
@captainboing 4 жыл бұрын
@@adobedoug2564 agreed. I am horrified how even in the most remote areas from the deep desert to the deep ocean, there is always a fucken plastic bottle hanging around. I swear if i ever make it to the moon I'd find a burnt-out chevvy
@DarkMoonDroid
@DarkMoonDroid 4 жыл бұрын
Yep.
@louie9373
@louie9373 4 жыл бұрын
No other animals go to such great lengths to prove their existence.
@andypampreen8906
@andypampreen8906 4 жыл бұрын
(7:35) It's really striking how the flowers are growing in distinct patches, as opposed to growing tightly together to hold onto moisture better. It's like a petri dish of separate bacteria colonies.
@cruelcimmcia859
@cruelcimmcia859 4 жыл бұрын
"Strong growth of garbage" Love ya Tony!
@lsd25records
@lsd25records 4 жыл бұрын
8:30 "Smells like a dogs mouth"... hilarious my friend ... made me laugh.
@corndogsanchez2752
@corndogsanchez2752 4 жыл бұрын
I can never watch another National Geographic special again. Unless they hire this chap to narrate.
@Jameson1776
@Jameson1776 4 жыл бұрын
After watching several of your videos I never realized cactus poaching was a problem. I now see why. When they might take 100s of years to grow. Thank you for enlightening me on the subject.
@LindaB651
@LindaB651 4 жыл бұрын
Tony- if ever you get to New England, I've a couple of riparian acres that you're welcome to explore!
@CactusCaffeine
@CactusCaffeine 4 жыл бұрын
Those centuries old Copiapoa! 😍 And those parasitic plants growing on the cactus actually made the cactus look more attractive.
@ab3000x
@ab3000x 4 жыл бұрын
"psych-ward-green" love it
@doctor_fill
@doctor_fill 4 жыл бұрын
the camerawork there is fucking flawless too 7:18
@captainboing
@captainboing 4 жыл бұрын
@27:xx crazy mistletoe thing. Shame you can't dissect that cactus so we could see how the parasite has populated the plant - curious how the flowers only emerge through the areole. I wouldn't chop up a 400 year old survivor either. That's kinda nice. Parasites that break out of the host freak me - some of those cordyceps fungi really spook the shit out of me (but not as much as the poor ants).
@wtfiwant8304
@wtfiwant8304 4 жыл бұрын
20:23 life flashes before eyes.
@wtfiwant8304
@wtfiwant8304 4 жыл бұрын
24:37
@UnOrigionalOne
@UnOrigionalOne 4 жыл бұрын
I am grateful to the KZbin algorithm for delivering this to my suggestions.
@saltytech5546
@saltytech5546 4 жыл бұрын
When you first came across the Encelia canescens I thought to myself "Is that an aster?" I think you've been rubbing off on me.
@blu12gaming44
@blu12gaming44 4 жыл бұрын
12:15 "You hear that sound over there? It's like a Wookie sado-masochism room." ROFL!!!!
@johannesdietrich724
@johannesdietrich724 4 жыл бұрын
You got me laughing until my butt hurts. So much love in such hard words is a pointe in every sentence.
@rachiesayd9423
@rachiesayd9423 3 жыл бұрын
So would you say that you are "butthurt"? I keep hearing that word mostly from right wingers talking about Chump's inevitable election victory in 2020?!?!?! Just curious........
@johannesdietrich724
@johannesdietrich724 3 жыл бұрын
@@rachiesayd9423 no idea what you talking about. I‘m from Germany and completely uninterested in american politics and right wings. I’m exclusivly interested in plants, insects and geology. But my rear abdomen really, not literally, was hurting a lot from laughing over minutes.
@aick
@aick 4 жыл бұрын
The nostalgia is overwhelming! I LOVED that area when I was a kid, still one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. Thank you.
@GoatPrint
@GoatPrint 4 жыл бұрын
My kids and I enjoy the information and different landscapes. Cheers from Eldorado...Ontario lol
@sagetmaster4
@sagetmaster4 4 жыл бұрын
Love the reptilian side-eye
@Titus-as-the-Roman
@Titus-as-the-Roman 3 жыл бұрын
"That's a sorry looking Cactus anyway" ! If you had a parasitic Alien actively feeding off your Guts you might look pretty sorry too !
@CreditR01
@CreditR01 4 жыл бұрын
7:10 - What a pretty leezard. :3 The sea lions are so cute too. The soil is so cracked there it almost looks like an artificial design.
@jamescanjuggle
@jamescanjuggle 4 жыл бұрын
Man 11,000 people watched this in less than 24 hours that's insane, good job
@maxad117
@maxad117 4 жыл бұрын
These videos are incredible, I've added more of your videos to my favorites than anyone else
@richardhsiung7007
@richardhsiung7007 2 жыл бұрын
You don't sound anything like a scholar, but you know your Latin scientific stuff... Thank you for an informative and enjoyable tour.
@kevincelniker8499
@kevincelniker8499 4 жыл бұрын
Cant wait for the South Africa episodes
@jedanderson8172
@jedanderson8172 4 жыл бұрын
The age of these plants is shocking. I would never have thought they would be that old, but it makes sense if you think about it. Similar to trees on the edge of the tundra line.
@DaddyBlueJay3207
@DaddyBlueJay3207 4 жыл бұрын
Your videos are more educational than any school will ever try to be
@ruthkeeling-holt2031
@ruthkeeling-holt2031 4 жыл бұрын
Enjoy your videos, I always learn something and truly appreciate the "don't be a prick" and "look it's another fuzzy bastard" comments ... love the seal footage !
@bretthuet1396
@bretthuet1396 4 жыл бұрын
Received one of your shirts today- super cool! Thanks.
@licklowandslitch9095
@licklowandslitch9095 4 жыл бұрын
Here in MN i have a sunflower type plant that grows from a bulb as a perrenial. Gets very tall with 3.5 inch across bright yellow petals gets very thick came up from some bird seed we think.
@rachiesayd9423
@rachiesayd9423 3 жыл бұрын
If it grows from a tuber (bulblike) it's likely Jerusalem Artichoke... Helianthum Tuberosum! It's edible and if you harvest them in the autumn or winter while dormant, you can cook them up and eat them!!! Just like you would cook potatoes! Enjoy!
@TheNaturalProgressive
@TheNaturalProgressive 4 жыл бұрын
There is a lot of rock here that is black with the white vein I always thought that was so interesting.. I live in an ancient sea bed.. Salty area also..
@jessecardenas5223
@jessecardenas5223 4 жыл бұрын
I Love Copiapoa, I have three seedlings:) I know itll take a long time but I'm okay with that, mine is copiapoa columna alba
@cynergy4
@cynergy4 4 жыл бұрын
Beautiful 'guana! Love the topography there, fascinating geology as well! Plants are such a trip!
@markkaidy8741
@markkaidy8741 4 жыл бұрын
"And how the shit did it get down here?!...." :) Bravo ..keep up the fascinating work, extant knowledge, and hilarious commentary.
@katiekane5247
@katiekane5247 4 жыл бұрын
Looks a little like an over poured patio someone drove over with a truck. Spectacular & super tough plants.
@bkbland1626
@bkbland1626 4 жыл бұрын
Timeless. You're my second favorite botanist.
@leannaerickson9745
@leannaerickson9745 Жыл бұрын
I love your channel and I'm gonna try to hook you up with my lovely niece, who lives in Oakland. You mentioned the brownish foam on the waves coming into shore. You probably know this stuff already. I'm assuming the Atacama Desert is at 30-something degrees south latitude like the California coast is at 30-something degrees north latitude., and that there are kelp forests along the Atacama coast as there are in California, and that the Atacama Desert has seasonal variations much as does California. In December the Southern Hemisphere is experiencing summer. During late spring and early summer, the kelp forest has a big growth spurt due to more sunshine. As it grows the kelp consumes great quantities of oxygen and nutrients from the water. When the kelp has exhausted the supply of nutrients, growth is curtailed and the kelp dies back and disintegrates in the water. The small particles make the waves foamy and brownish for a while. To further insult your intelligence, now that the dying kelp has released the nutrients back into the water and summer days are still long, nutrients are now available, and the kelp forest experiences a second summer bloom. Many marine organisms depend on this annual cycle for life. On the other hand, the brown gunk on the seafoam could just be from petrochemicals leaking from a passing freighter. You're welcome. Now, go ---- yourself.😄🌴🌸🌵
@toddstropicals
@toddstropicals 4 жыл бұрын
Love that Frankenia!!!
@karinawashere
@karinawashere 4 жыл бұрын
this is awesome. Quite a unique and knowledgeable human. Love it! new subscriber :-)
@shepdgc.og.soldier7732
@shepdgc.og.soldier7732 4 жыл бұрын
Looks like a different world than what I’m accustomed to. Would love to visit,that’s about it. Very nice.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 4 жыл бұрын
There's your first children's book title right there.
@PokefreakMaster333
@PokefreakMaster333 4 жыл бұрын
Botany For Kids Underrated Overneeded
@cgriggsiv
@cgriggsiv 4 жыл бұрын
That is one extremely odd seed pod My first thought would have been in the pea family
@TheJimford
@TheJimford 4 жыл бұрын
I must say the striations and abrasions on and in the coastline stones were amazing...the entire video, excellent intellect entertainment...as always
@RlxRlx1
@RlxRlx1 Жыл бұрын
I am Chilean from Iquique, currently living in Oakland CA. I am growing some copiapoas and so far so good, Thanks for the advice!
@RlxRlx1
@RlxRlx1 Жыл бұрын
there are many chilean stories about the Quintral del Quisco Tristerix aphyllus, also the mapuches used it for medicine back in the days
@moo1388
@moo1388 4 жыл бұрын
😊this guy...fabaecae, realistii, truthneedusall. Good stuff. Thank you Candenscent being
@MercMercury
@MercMercury 4 жыл бұрын
That wookie dungeon comment killed me. Thanks for the knowledge and laughs, as per usual lol
@Alteasea
@Alteasea 4 жыл бұрын
Ok, this one was beautiful, I like your eye for the world, you see where others glaze over.
@lucyb15
@lucyb15 4 жыл бұрын
good episode, I thank you.
@Seamasr2112
@Seamasr2112 4 жыл бұрын
Hey thanks for showing this! Probably won’t get there this lifetime before I leave this mortal coyle.
@geoffbreen2386
@geoffbreen2386 4 жыл бұрын
At 12.51 Looks to be a metal tag attached by wire near the base of the Eulychnia. Maybe someone is recording what is happening to some of these plants in this extreme environment. It could have a unique accession number and info about it kept on a research data base. Well that's what I think it looks like. And then at 13.01 you confirm what I was thinking. The Copiapoa dealbata..... amazingly perfect clumps when left alone to do their thing... to dealbate.
@labrador7373
@labrador7373 4 жыл бұрын
The road is made of a salt material called bischofite wich is great for paving roads in places where it doesnt rain, the bad part is that is slippery as hell when there's fog.
@riverrat235
@riverrat235 4 жыл бұрын
Hello from Nova Scotia botany guy. My wife and I love your videos, keep up the great work. Maybe some day you come to my island of Cape Breton and check out some o da shit around here eh?
@Thecampingrocks1
@Thecampingrocks1 4 жыл бұрын
woah that parasitic plant was so interesting!
@santiagocamacho1077
@santiagocamacho1077 4 жыл бұрын
God I wish we could have roads like that in Arizona. Peace from the desert.
@igot99problemsbutmyaltaint81
@igot99problemsbutmyaltaint81 4 жыл бұрын
Be glad you aint in vegas :-p
@Randomeaninglessword
@Randomeaninglessword 4 жыл бұрын
Bagnold seems like a cool guy; I recommend that anybody curious look him up.
@goiterlanternbase
@goiterlanternbase 4 жыл бұрын
Your story is as fascinating, as your videos.
@__hetz
@__hetz 4 жыл бұрын
I was waiting to see the mistletoe featured since the photos were posted by Woody and yourself. Insta's mobile app is pretty lax as far as inspecting images (pinch-to-zoom that reverts the moment you let go). Do either of you post high resolution images elsewhere? Also you got my curiosity running and I looked up Bagnold. I'm thinking it's named after Captain T.M. Bagnold who, in the late 1820's, brought back some hundred specimens of Araucaria imbricata from Chile to England by planting them in native soil in a wine crate for the return trip. Two went to Scotland (one to some Duke) and a number of them went to the botanical gardens of Kew. He received some silver medal of Cool Dudeness for it. I can't seem to find if he made any other contributions in the fields. He did get another medal of some sort for design improvements of "Coast Mortars," which I learned now weren't just for defense against invading ships but also used to launch lines to wrecked ships for rescue purposes. Anyway, you helped put a few extra wrinkles in the brain this evening. Might just keep digging through these old historical ledgers for a while tonight. It'd be interesting to know if he'd done other things for plant sciences.
@rachiesayd9423
@rachiesayd9423 3 жыл бұрын
You sir are a true gentleman and scholar!!! Kudos for the effort!!! Keep it up!!!
@jonathanschadenfreude9603
@jonathanschadenfreude9603 4 жыл бұрын
I like the chillensis.....esp when im chillin with santoro
@livinlikelarry8782
@livinlikelarry8782 4 жыл бұрын
Some of Cali got some rain
@richardlynch1094
@richardlynch1094 2 жыл бұрын
You're the only webcaster who brings that massive bush and thank you for that.
@tonylaurenzi8011
@tonylaurenzi8011 4 жыл бұрын
I really like your videos I learn a lot thank you
@ColinMcCormack
@ColinMcCormack 4 жыл бұрын
Cool fog dessit!
@theunknowngamer5477
@theunknowngamer5477 Жыл бұрын
My second view of this channel. Not sure why/how it found me. Random YT surfing does reward. So many questions...your library will melt me good, yes. I subscribe.
@christopheklinger3217
@christopheklinger3217 4 жыл бұрын
Robert de NIRO as a botanist ? only kidding. Interesting video and narration, Mars freeks should take a look/listen.
@craigkeller
@craigkeller 3 жыл бұрын
Best classroom experience ever.
@alexrogers777
@alexrogers777 4 жыл бұрын
How much would I have to donate to send you to the island of Socotra? I'm sure you'd love it
@annv.48
@annv.48 4 жыл бұрын
Alex Rogers I want to chip in for Namibia and back to Aus for the Daintree :)
@aussiegardener5703
@aussiegardener5703 3 жыл бұрын
12:37 There's a wookie face in that rock lol
@brianballa3086
@brianballa3086 4 жыл бұрын
hey thank you for sharing
@prescott5328
@prescott5328 4 жыл бұрын
Brilliant
@mickeythemaltipoo3756
@mickeythemaltipoo3756 4 жыл бұрын
@24:00 that rock formation is fucking amazing
@mikewendland4982
@mikewendland4982 4 жыл бұрын
Are you going to come to the East Coast of America to botanize anytime soon ?
@UninstallGoogleChrome
@UninstallGoogleChrome 4 жыл бұрын
20:21 The sound of a man who REALLY did not want to trip.
@HashFace253
@HashFace253 4 жыл бұрын
A minute after that he finds a dead trichocereus... hmm..
@Barro_1
@Barro_1 4 жыл бұрын
ah yes, very barren and glandular as usual
@Shadowman4710
@Shadowman4710 4 жыл бұрын
"If I was a kid still I'd be picking up clumps of it and throwing at my friends..." Why the fuck doesn't this channel have a million subs by now?
@thomaswattsjr.7
@thomaswattsjr.7 4 жыл бұрын
I cant even explain what I am feeling right now. I see this man as brilliant! I watch all his vids and recommend them. Anywhere he goes he can name every goddamn plant he sees...fucking amazing! And yet...looking at cracked mud spreading fingers apart he says about 3 inches... Brother, did you forget that you have a ruler tattoo ed on your other hand?
@jonassalk1387
@jonassalk1387 4 жыл бұрын
When you going to visit Galapagos Islands? You'll make some good discoveries there.
@RussellBallestrini
@RussellBallestrini 4 жыл бұрын
I never knew how fucking important sealions are until just now, seeing them in the wild with your eyes... Man you rock dude... Could sealion shat green a desert?
@muskylemon2310
@muskylemon2310 4 жыл бұрын
You should come work in Western Montana in the spring/summer. You'd love it.
@lsd25records
@lsd25records 4 жыл бұрын
:pops out to bloom then goes back inside to hang out ... wow .. makes you think about things....
@woodstockjon420
@woodstockjon420 4 жыл бұрын
Psych Ward Green🤣🎭
@names9530
@names9530 4 жыл бұрын
I always thought psych wards were white.
@Gage54908
@Gage54908 4 жыл бұрын
27:40 Nice.
@DarkMoonDroid
@DarkMoonDroid 4 жыл бұрын
Fog. That's what the little hairs are for. That's their water. Amazing....
@lsd25records
@lsd25records 4 жыл бұрын
23:00 the geography is mind blowing to see.....
@injunsun
@injunsun 4 жыл бұрын
I want to take home a truckload of those salt clay bricks, seal them, and use them as pavers.
@mastershadowreaper
@mastershadowreaper 4 жыл бұрын
bruh im tripping on acid and stumbled upon this video, and at 3:05- 3:18 i swear to god that was a fish, i see it breathing and shit 😂😂😂
@stavinaircaeruleum2275
@stavinaircaeruleum2275 3 жыл бұрын
It's amazing how some of those plants look like they're growing out of solid rock.
@superdupergrover9857
@superdupergrover9857 3 жыл бұрын
I want to hear a lecture from this guy at a botany conference. Controversial perhaps, but it wouldn't be boring!
@CHASRIZM
@CHASRIZM 4 жыл бұрын
I wonder if those seeds curl like that so that they roll on the ground in the wind
@anaritamartinho1340
@anaritamartinho1340 Жыл бұрын
Surprising growing plants there
@teriyakimoto9296
@teriyakimoto9296 4 жыл бұрын
psych-ward green is a nice
@detritic
@detritic 5 ай бұрын
Wookie Torture Dungeon is definitely a band name
@lsd25records
@lsd25records 4 жыл бұрын
I am in awe of your knowledge .. soothes my brain in this age of anti-science religious rhetoric ..... I have to replay it to digest the information bit by bit... thank you.
@c0rnsocks
@c0rnsocks 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@drewdemien481
@drewdemien481 4 жыл бұрын
youre my new favorite personality. thanks for the education. very fuckin cool what you're doing there.
@bdhanes
@bdhanes 4 жыл бұрын
Naming my new band, Wookie Torture Dungeon 🤘😂
@SKLLedOne
@SKLLedOne 4 жыл бұрын
man I could totally go for some empanadas
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