Atheist Reacts to The Transformed Wife's Instagram and It's Still AWFUL.

[@jchacho6335]

The “stay-at-home wife/mother is the norm” is a middle-class, 1950s aberration. Rural women always worked farms with their husbands. Poor women have always worked to support their families. Single women have always worked to support themselves. Middle class women helped run family businesses. Upper class and wealthy women who didn’t need paychecks ran charities. Very few people just stayed home and watched the kids.

[@SeasonalSunflower]

Exactly what I was going to say!

[@Neku628]

And the kids rarely stayed at home?

[@dyingforeddiemunson]

household work is incredibly taxing by itself and normalising that as a "woman's role" or whatever along with the mom also having to work to support the family is just so unfair, to say the least. it puts so much unnecessary stress on one parent to take care of the kids, take care of household stuff AND work, when those responsibilities should be shared because you're partners. it's just ughhh

[@davidallen4388]

Lot of this myth can be traced back to the fictional life Leave it to Beaver showed off. People really took what was shown in television shows at that time to be something expected of them.

[@LoveYourself-my9nz]

Yes women always had worked but they worked Payless jobs or jobs which payed very little. And that's what these kind of people want.... they actually don't have problem with working women, it's the power struggle that they should decide what women can do or not. They(women) should be always feeding these people ego and make them feel that they are in control. Like lots of men want their wife to do job but job should be something which boost their ego in society and she shouldn't make more money than her husband. And she would do job or not would be decided by their husband and in-laws. And if a women is homemaker then these kind of people always complaint and compare with other women like their DIL don't do any work and how bad, ungrateful, she is. Some men will shame their women for asking money and tell that how she waste his money. You need to work as much as they want, live the way want and then they will might compliment you. In simple words they want a slave without the tag of slave. And having a job which pay you give you power and independence and that's what they hate the most.

[@sentienttapioca5409]

'No support of each other's dreams' 'So it's all about YOU, is it?!' Where the actual fuck did that come from? Where in 'us' is there a 'me me me'? Lori projects so severely onto other women's desire for happiness and fulfilment that it genuinely sickens me, as I'm sure it does a lot of people here. I'll never understand this attitude of 'I've suffered/am suffering, so everyone else must, too'.

[@leothenomad5675]

Yes, that one in particular threw me. But I'm guessing that from her perspective anything that is not 100% focused on the male gets translated to the woman being selfish. This is the woman who said even if you don't want to have sex just grin and bear it until he is done.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

Lori sounds in a severe need of good therapy and self-work. 💀

[@1mol831]

Me an my friends support communist kids.

[@alim.9801]

That attitude both makes me sad and baffles me. Myself and most people I've met that have gone through hard time want better for people, not equal suffering :( I don't get it

[@krapincorporated]

I think the biggest red flag with these Christian influencers (especially the problematic ones) is that there is so little confidence in their beliefs that they can't offer criticism or advice without biting snark and sarcasm. A happy person doesn't talk like this.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

I feel like she's an Agoraphobe who thinks everyone else should be that way too.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

Great point! It’s difficult to take someone who hasn’t done their work seriously.

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

I agree , she always passes her opinions as facts . She looks up things and takes parts out of it . She is anti women . According to her women are to shut up and just service a man and his every whim and need. Don't have an education or be in the world it's all about men and their feelings. She also promotes child abusers. Sickening. But the worst thing is so many younger girls are brainwashed by her crazy thoughts.

[@caseycronan9217]

Well said!

[@irrelevant_noob]

@K. R. Peyton interesting point, there at the end. Guess it can in fact apply to myself as well, if i catch my comments being overly sarcastic or snarky, it means i'm not really in a happy phase, so i might want to work on that more. TY.

[@michaelbaker7499]

What good have I seen from women joining the workforce: 1. All the friends I've made as a result for one 2. Having teachers I was more comfortable talking to 3. Having doctors, nurses, dentists, opticians, etc I'm more comfortable being seen by 3.2. My mental health advisor at uni, shout out to her, she helped me so much

[@AW-uv3cb]

"Your virginity doesn't belong to you, it belongs to a man you don't even know yet" - puuuuuuuuuuuuukeeeeeeeeee, that is absolutely vile!

[@miaomiaochan]

Virginity as a commodity is an idea that needs to go away. Like, now.

[@1mol831]

What is virginity, is it a physical thing or an idea? I heard people can injure themselves via other means. It is still healthy to be monogamous though, the risks of STDs are lower.

[@ouwebrood497]

It's even more disgusting if you realize that in most cases they hold men to totally different standards than women.

[@brandonerwin7031]

@@miaomiaochan Perhaps. I do think there is some value in a low body count though.

[@jolenejoleeene]

@@brandonerwin7031 There is. I could never get involved with a serial killer.

[@warlordofbritannia]

One of the most influential figures of the Middle Ages was a woman, Elanor of Aquitaine; she was a 12th century Duchess in southern France who besides being wife to two kings and mother to a pair of kings and queens remained political player in her own right. She went on Crusade, pushed for a divorce from her first husband (the king of France) and then chose her own second spouse (a soon-to-be king of England), riding cross country and avoiding kidnappings from several parties in the process. Into her seventies she remained an active figure, undertaking diplomatic journeys across the Pyrenees and Mediterranean, serving as Regent while her son (Richard the Lionhearted) was abroad, and negotiated her own release when captured by a disgruntled baron. Today she is perhaps best known for the great court of chivalrous patronage in her Duchy capitol of Poitiers, the center if not birth place of those romantic concepts we associate with the late Middle Ages, as reflected in Sid Meier's Civilization VI.

[@frankmancini]

Your comment lead me to read a bit on Elanor... what fascinating life. She even managed to deliver 10 children between adventures and accomplishments! Lori could never.

[@peterwindhorst5775]

and played by Catherine Hepburn in "The Lion in Winter"

[@ThaLadyAnnabelle]

Thank you for the history lesson! I'm going to go read more about her now! She sounds like a dreadfully, awful, Christian woman who didn't know her role...and was a totally dope, badass! 😂

[@Luubelaar]

Elanor of Aquitane was a seriously badass woman. Also badass was Matilda (aka Empress Maude), daughter of Henry I of England. Her first husband was Henry V Holy Roman Emperor, and second was Geoffrey V of Anjou. She should have been the first queen of England but her cousin Stephen of Blois seized the throne upon the death of Henry I. She went to war over it, but ultimately Stephen retained the crown, but he had to name Matilda's son Henry as his successor. He eventually became Henry II of England. Badass lady.

[@ivyrose779]

Yes! Eleanor was a complete badass! Theres actually quite a few badass women from medieval times. Margaret Beaufort is another one of my favorites.

[@amiableshark1957]

Just an FYI about love languages: they come from a fundie called Gary Chapman. They're aimed at Christian husbands because they tend to be so inattentive towards their wives that they need the expression of love to be catagorized into checklists. I just feel like not enough people know that.

[@AragornElessar]

oh. I didn't know that it came from a fundie. I find it mildly amusing and sad that it's a checklist.

[@anothernightonmars]

Wow I didn't know that. Gonna stop using that now😂

[@greyhoundssss]

Yep! Actual psychologists have debunked the love languages. Obv people can still use that framework if they like it, but it has no scientific validity. Chapman basically came up with that system as a way to guilt wives into giving their husbands sex on demand. (Apparently, lots of men claim “physical touch” as their love language, but mysteriously don’t like to hold hands or cuddle.)

[@amberinthemist7912]

Lori is using the "miserable Christian" interpretation of love languages. The woman is supposed to learn her husband's love language so she can change the way she expresses herself so her husband can feel loved. And she's supposed to learn how her husband expresses love so she can change the way she receives love so her husband doesn't have to change anything about himself or the way he naturally wants to treat his wife. Basically she has a severe humiliation kink and projects it on all women.

[@Neku628]

Is that a big reason why there is infedility among spouses that follow Lori's mindset?

[@amberinthemist7912]

@Neku628 I think that it's linked to telling men they have a right to on demand sex with their wives regardless of their wives' feelings. When their wives don't perform sexually aa if they were slaves the men feel justified in cheating. And then when the wives find out and are upset, they're told Jesus requires them to stay and forgive (despite being specifically mentioned in the bible). Lori tells women infidelity is their fault, and they must simp and beg for their men to stop cheating rather than putting any responsibility on the men for repairing the relationship. So yeah, it's all related. And disgusting and not actually biblical like she claims.

[@Neku628]

@@amberinthemist7912 it's really scary how controlling relationships can be just seen as mundane and you're supposed to be resign to it because you have F as your gender. It's really a testament to how your world can just implode on itself because some constant negative aspect or person that you're used to makes a change for the better.

[@RickReasonnz]

More bluntly, for the 'miserable Christian', it's a woman's job to understand when her husband wants/requires attention. It doesn't need to go the other way. It's all rather pathetic, in the purest sense of that word.

[@amberinthemist7912]

@Neku628 Especially given these women listening to Lori have been given no information on how to avoid abusive or narcissistic men. Or what picking a healthy partner is like. Lori is very basically just working to get more vulnerable victims for narcissistic abusers who use the cover of Christianity to continue their racket.

[@sammichwench2475]

Fitting to be discussing that absolute witch on friday the 13th 😂

[@AW-uv3cb]

i chuckled 🙂

[@VonTimmelandDer42]

as a propper witch i feel attacked by beeing compared to a horrible woman like this.

[@kuromi2880]

@@VonTimmelandDer42 agreed, actual witches are cool, Lori is... Lori.

[@naomistarlight6178]

"NEITHER of us were supporting EACH OTHER's dreams" "Oh so you think it's all about you, huh?"

[@SairynadeX3]

Everyone sit up and scream "projection!!" I'm convinced its 90% of Lori's posts, just true projection and telling herself what she's telling everyone else

[@1mol831]

@@SairynadeX3 we can use mirrors to do that.

[@justacatwhocantype]

😂 If you know Lori this makes perfect sense. To her only women can do wrong in the relationship. If men do wrong it is because the woman’s wrongdoing made them do wrong, and then the woman is double guilty.

[@margaretjohnson6259]

laurie is telling us more about her marriage than she thinks. she's deeply disappointed and unhappy.

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

She is also not in love. Lolz. Think about she always goes on about feminist but if it wasn't for that she wouldn't be free today to be online spewing her garbage and manipulation. I got blocked because I started getting young girls to think a bit different than what she lies about . So blocked I was lolz

[@margaretjohnson6259]

@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 she's ruining the lives of younger women. she should be blocked.

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

@@margaretjohnson6259 I qgree

[@Hailfire08]

The "always forgive" stuff reminds me of that time a pastor "admitted" to his congregation that he had engaged in adultery - and when the woman he had *sexually assaulted* stood up and called him out, the other members of the congregation also stood up - and went to the pastor to tell him they forgive him.

[@mattjacobson3616]

They should have stood up and kicked his ass and then let the police have their way with him. I think people become pastors is so they can do what ever they want i hate anyone who is a pastor they are all the same nothing but shit.

[@mattjacobson3616]

Quick shout out to who liked my commit thanks I thought I was the only one.

[@dannycomellas]

If I remember right, that woman was actually a 16-year-old girl

[@spOOkytimes]

mega churches are just cults with extra steps.

[@chriscortez2036]

Check out Belief It or Not’s vid on Wrath. It’s shows how pastors use “forgiveness” as a way of avoiding consequences as well as gaslighting & victim-blaming.

[@lilaboxx]

I don't think that Lori ist trying to convince everyone else that she's happy and fulfilled, I think she's trying to convince herself that she's happy and fulfilled... Which is somehow sadder

[@itchild5803]

truth

[@1mol831]

Better than snapping

[@Lillith.]

One good thing that came from a woman joining the workforce was that my mother wasn't abused by her mother. I loved my grandmother as I knew her, but she was an awful mother to my mom. In a similar vein, my mother got very depressed being a stay-at-home mom when my siblings and I were very young. She loved us, but she was miserable being just a mom. She was so miserable that she tried to take her own life. She went to a therapist and was told that she would probably be happier working. She was. She worked during school hours and made sure she made time for us when we were home. As a child I always came home to a cup of tea with her. She could do so because during the day she had a regular job where she could interact with adults about adult things that had nothing to do with children.

[@Ingemaja]

My maternal grandmother started her own business late in the 1960s. She met lots of nastiness, but she always held her head high. She taught my mum to stand up for herself and to believe in herself. We celebrated my grandma turning 80 last summer, and many of the guests told the party about how inspirational she was, and how she was one of the leading forces who made it possible for other women to get better jobs in that city. I once told grandma about people bullying me at school (I was 8 or 9 at the time), and her response was “what do they know? You don’t have to listen to them. Go have fun, grow and learn, and show them how bright your light shines. Some bullies will never be able to define your worth”. I didn’t even know how important she was for the city until I heard those speeches… she’ve always been granny; strong and direct, a little dry, but always loving and attentive

[@Amira_Phoenix]

I'm so glad for your family. All my granny did was to marry an abusive alcoholic who traumatized my mother for life and whom she had no ballz to divorce 😂and everyone in the hospital was praising her for being the chef if the administration department...it was just a façade, she was even ignorant in medicine, the subj she was supposed to have studied to be s doctor

[@keiththorpe9571]

Lori likely regards love languages as some new-agey, younger-generation, late-stage feminist gimmick contrived by relationship coaches to excuse incompatibility between partners. Lori is exactly as you describe her, a miserable, angry woman who vents her rage over what is likely her own dismal marriage that she is trapped in. Trapped in because, unlike modern marriages, her late medieval-style relationship is 'Ordained By God' and thus as unbreakable as the shackles that bind criminals and political prisoners to the walls of the dungeon.

[@katla_phc]

The funny thing is that the who coined the five love languages is an evangelical Christian

[@keiththorpe9571]

@@katla_phc Damn, that is funny, I didn't know that.

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

According to Lori anyone who disagrees with her ways or brain washing ideas then as a women your dubbed as jezabel feminist

[@sii479]

What's late stage feminism?

[@1mol831]

There are benefits to that. Ignorance is bliss. More people should understand that fact, benefits much, you can live happy and die happy with high ignorance.

[@clauded.]

When she said you needed to "find and older godly woman to save your marriage" I immediately imagined the wife having an affair with an older woman wth 😭

[@karensmother]

That would be really funny if she prescribed that. Imagine the wife bringing the woman home and they have a "Godly" threesome?

[@soyevquirsefron990]

I had a love language breakthrough 15 years into marriage, when my wife was talking about her day and I was feeling antsy to get away and go do some work around the house cause I felt like I was standing there doing nothing. But I told myself, the point of doing the work is to make her happy, but she’ll be happier if I stand here and listen. Those are our different love languages and sometimes we have to learn to translate for each other

[@sawyer9969]

this is really cute 😢 I LOVE when people will just listen to me, and I love to listen to them. I love to hear people rant about their special interests, their friends, or their day. I love doing acts of service for people too! But I despise gifts 😂 I'm terrible at picking them, anxious when i receive them, etc. But I know some of my friends love thoughtful gifts (price or status doesn't matter) so sometimes i spend ages picking something small just to make them happy. Love languages are the opposite of selfish! Lori is a freak.

[@cashwalk7253]

That’s super sweet 🥰 well done.

[@auntiefish4192]

It seems to very much be a thing in Lori’s generation that there is a set way that your life should go, and any deviation from that is “doing it wrong”, and oftentimes that’s not really fulfilling for them. But rather than doing things differently, they declare that this is just the way things are, and keep living unhappily. So when they see people breaking out of that and living in a way that makes them happy, even if it’s not the “normal” way, it makes them angry. Because they would have been happier if they’d done something different, but they didn’t or couldn’t so they get mad that other people can. It’s like the people who are angry about student debt getting cancelled when they paid theirs off “Well *I* had to suffer, so everyone else should too”

[@Neku628]

And, it seems to breed more resentment than actual empathy.

[@cl5470]

Well, that and she admits that her husband beats her into submission.

[@alim.9801]

It makes me so sad dude. I may be angry about the message people like Lori spread but they are also captives to their upbringing/faith and also suffering. Unpacking the whole situation requires a lot of nuance that seemingly some people (understandably tbh) can't give

[@AresRoar]

If her marriage was perfect she wouldn't be making all this noise she'd just be enjoying life. You look stunningly beautiful btw, makeup is on point.

[@julia10982]

My go to bad ass smart woman of history is Marie curie. Discovered radium and plutonium and becomes the first woman to win a nobel prize (her husband was there too but this isn't about him) she's also the only woman to win 2 nobel prizes! Also bad ass is the fact that some of her notes are still radioactive and have to be stored in lead boxes. They probably will be radioactive for about 1600 years.

[@IndyMartiniVideos]

I feel like when people have kids, many of them forget that they're not just 'mum'/'dad' (which, yes, is an important and time-consuming role), but you are also 'husband'/'wife', 'friend' and you yourself as an individual. I believe it's important to remember and take time with all these aspects of yourself (e.g. date nights, vacations with your friends/SO, doing something on your own for a long weekend/evening and organising things so your partner can do the same). Not only is your own happiness important, no matter what responsibilities you take on in your life - I can't imagine the miserable environment you'd be bringing up your children in and how that would affect your marriage in the life she describes. I have to wonder what environment people grow up in to think that they have to give up their own happiness and individuality in exchange for a family.

[@Neku628]

That sounds a lot like my childhood.

[@FrumiousMing8]

Christians like Lori don't like to believe people are multifaceted and need enrichment in many different aspects of their life. For them, once you're married, your spouse, family, and God are your only priorities. If you try to find fulfillment in any other aspect, you're selfish. They don't see work and family don't have to be mutually exclusive things. You can be happy in both.

[@moonlighthowling666]

We wouldn't have chocolate chip cookies if a woman hadn't entered the workforce

[@cashwalk7253]

Fr???

[@marshallmarshmallow]

My love language is physical touch while my fiancé’s is quality time. It took a while to work out the differences because my partner didn’t feel the need to touch me back, which made me confused and made me think that she was uncomfortable so I would spend time away from her, which didn’t account for her needs and made her upset. We eventually sat down and had a serious talk about our emotions, feelings and re-established boundaries and now we are four years, going on to five this March. I think that everyone in a relationship needs to discuss their needs as to treat each other lovingly.

[@adamfaulkner-stanheight6628]

I went through the same. My love language is being able to hug my partner, while he is more fond of talking and sharing feelings through gifts and kind gestures. Also: very off topic but I immediately recognized your profile picture. The Princess Bride is a good movie, and I enjoy watching it from time to time.

[@marshallmarshmallow]

@@adamfaulkner-stanheight6628 I think most relationships do and need to go through talks about love languages and I’m happy you and your partner talked about it. And yea! The Princess Bride was my favorite movie for years.

[@StonedHunter]

I think the reason she went after the first person is that 1, she thinks divorce is NEVER ok and 2, she believes that women hold the sole responsibility for a relationship succeeding (and her own safety from her husband) so any 'we' gets changed into 'the woman' in her mind. To Lorie, that woman should have just kept quiet and suffered in silence no matter what.

[@lexihopes]

3 she probably doesn't believe in counseling/therapy, so that woman was not only working outside the home but is charging people for something you should just take care of with prayer, or whatever (in her mind of course, not mine)

[@1mol831]

Who’s Lorie

[@StonedHunter]

@@1mol831 transformed wife's name is lorie

[@1mol831]

@@StonedHunter transformers ;)

[@Dither87]

I'm thankful for the Radium Girls, because they fought for workplace safety and help set those standards. Although it's horrible what they went through, I'm glad something good like that came from it.

[@Sentientcrabpee]

I love when you talk about the "trad wife" standards and offer a more sane stance. I grew up fundie, left in my late teens, and even a decade later I still struggle with the shame of not measuring up to that standard (even though I don't want to anyway). Hearing other people talk about how ridiculous, harmful, and unattainable those standards are really helps.

[@sawyer9969]

A lot of my family grew up fundamentalist and it never worked for them, either! i was raised religious but i'm now a proud atheist (although to be clear, i shame nobody for having positive and ethical faith). I know you know this but as some validation from a rando on the internet: you are valid and so are your feelings! there is nothing wrong with being a female, cis homemaker and living the "trad" life, but there's nothing wrong with being nothing of the sort, either. or anywhere in between. even SAHMs can have trouble fitting in the ridiculous, tiny, oddly shaped cookie cutter people like lori have made. You are loved the way you are, regardless of if you look like a tRaD wiFe😂❤

[@1mol831]

@@sawyer9969 sometimes kids from over liberal households turn conservative as a rebellion. Imagine some gen alpha kids wanting to spite their parents by going to church in secret, gonna become funny now

[@becomingemmaemilia2709]

I love how positive Rachel is :)

[@shbondful]

As for good coming from women’s ability to work - working women meant smaller families started later. In my neck of the woods, this meant that by the fifties, it was far more common for young women to marry as women, not young (14-16) teenagers, and they did so because they wanted to, not because they had eleven or twelve siblings and the parents simply couldn’t keep everyone fed anymore. This meant more of them got to know their husbands well before marrying, which translated into fewer abusive (or just unhappy and incompatible) marriages; since they had also been brought up seeing their mothers with jobs since the late thirties at least, it also meant *they* usually had jobs of their own before and after marrying, so they had the means to leave a bad marriage if one occurred. If their husbands died or were disabled, they also had the peace of mind of knowing they could at least adequately, if not comfortably, feed and clothe and house their own two or three kids themselves with said jobs so the whole family wouldn’t have to rely on the kindness of also-poor neighbors and kinfolks in such a situation. Life expectancies went up, abuse and neglect, of children and spouses, went down. Most folks would agree those were both good things.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

My mother talks about other's "relationships" similar to this. It is jealously and misery. These people aren't satisfied with the lives they have chosen/coerced into and want to make sure everyone else is as miserable as they are(possibly sub-conscience). They do this because they are to afraid/worn down to take the steps to make the needed changes in their own lives. It's easier to tear down others rather than changing to a "less comfortable" life. I fully understand fears and anxiety. I have also chosen being borderline homelessness to escape bad situations. Both aren't "ideal" but my sanity and freedom ARE more important than my physical "comfort". This woman is a very sad case. Was she groomed(religious aspect aside)?

[@connielewis3623]

this woman: lists on each point how both she and her ex husband struggled with them Lori: she's only focused on herself ?????

[@cashwalk7253]

The woman (Not Lori) makes super valid points about what not to do in a relationship with the point of saving marriages/relationships. Why is Lori against that?

[@shbondful]

The note about “time-consuming and monotonous” struck a chord with me - just last night, I ended up rambling at great length about making loose tea and the qualities of various forms of teapot. I mentioned time, sure - time in looking for/at tea things, experimenting with different brewing methods and tea types, etc. I also mentioned the repetitive nature of brewing a nice cup…in terms of how I enjoy the ritual of it and how it can soothe my anxiety. The word “monotonous” could technically have been used to describe it, but it didn’t occur to me. “Monotonous” is how I describe something unpleasant, usually being on too rigid of an externally imposed schedule. It really is in what suits you. On which note, let’s repeat that note about “you can find [necessary task] unpleasant and that’s okay” again for the people in the back! I feel that way about mopping (gotta wear rubber gloves to stand wringing out a mop, otherwise, sensory nightmare time). I mop anyway because it is necessary, among other tasks I find exceptionally offputting but do because they are necessary. It frustrates me immensely, the notion that I can’t both appreciate what I have and still dislike some of what’s necessary to keeping said had things. I think a lot of folks would be a lot better off if they gave themselves permission to dislike the mopping despite disliking a dirty floor even more, so to speak. As long as you do what you must, I can’t regard it as a mark of bad character to feel however you feel about it, as that’s not even fully within your control anyway.

[@chesh1rek1tten]

First thought was Madame Curie. My great aunt was a nurse and saved a few people's lives. My sister is a doctor and in her first year saved 7 lives (and counting)

[@Witchywoodwoman]

When I read or hear about people like Lori I am so happy that I was born in Northern Germany and not in the US. Most of my age group (1981) were baptized as a baby, didn't go to church except some big events happend, got confirmed to get the money for the driver's license and again, never see a church from inside except for events like funerals etc., and as soon as they would have to pay taxes they leave the church. 😁 Some might get back into the church for marriage, but that's the minority, I think. But as I am childfree and sterilized I don't really know how it is now. But it happend to me very often that when people asked me if I wanted to have children and I frankly said "no", they were confused and especially when I was younger said that I would change my mind. Or that I would change my mind when my partner would want a child. 🙄 One friend told me after my sterilization that it is possible today to kinda reverse the operation... as if someone would let this get done and pay for it by accident. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@annabanana3928]

I hate the whole "you'll change your mind when you find the right person" thing. I don't want kids, so if they want kids it's a deal breaker! I'm not gonna get hitched to someone with that life goal!

[@alim.9801]

​@@annabanana3928 im with you!! When I was little I didn't want any but as I've grown up and had more and more health issues I especially don't want any!! And I love kids, and if there was anyone I'd MAYBE have kids with it would be my current partner, but he's on the same page as me especially bc of my health issues. I just really hate that argument, it feels very ignorant esp as to all the reasons someone might decide having children isn't right for them. I love kids, can't wait to be an auntie, but it's not for me.

[@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095]

„Fulfillment comes in obedience to god“ sounds like something the villain in a dystopian story would say.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Really relate to the thoughtful gift-giving as a display of affection despite not liking receiving them myself. Perhaps my past insecurities but sometimes just being told "I like talking with you" feels like one of the nicest things anyone can say. Maybe not the most eloquent or deep profession of appreciation but I find it is those little but genuine compliments that mean more than some cliched phrase using an abstract.

[@AW-uv3cb]

yeah some of the nicest compliments i've been told were just off the cuff comments, they take you by surprise and make you all warm, don't they! 🙂

[@Anasteroiddestroyer]

Dorothy Hodgkin was doing such amazing work on the structure of insulin and vitamin B12 that her college paid her maternity leave for all 3 of her kids. This was almost unheard of at the time but she went on to win a Nobel prize in Chemistry. She then used that money for scholarships for international students to come study in the UK and open a daycare at Somerville College Oxford for students and staff.

[@janellefrickert6522]

Kyra really is making it easier to read all of the Transformed wife's posts. I swear seeing dogs pop in youtube videos makes my day! Such a simple but necessary. Also I always get angry about these topics (conservatives/religious people being bigoted and close minded) but it's very comforting and hopeful to see people like you Rachel, it's giving me faith in humanity! It'd be a better world if everyone thought like you. Love your videos!!

[@aliceaurino6591]

Women on the work force AND EDUCATION!! I personally think about all the women we NEED in law. Without them we would have laws made for and by men. (And it's really sad but important to talk about this now after the abortion issues in the US and all the rise of mysoginy). I am italian so I have some wonderfull role model from here like Lidia Poet. First female lawyer. And currently I am studying forensic psychology and this issue is becoming more relevant in the current years. Love your content and you message. Keep teh great work!

[@The482075]

I am so happy that you are in an epic relationship with someone who treats you right. You deserve it!

[@echobean5222]

I wake up everyday and work for strangers.. because I'm a public servant. It's hard, but I can't imagine not doing it. I'll never make a lot of money, but my career is self actualizing and I get to use my strengths to help others. Having children would absolutely destroy my mental health and resolve.

[@blancagomis3504]

Kyra looks at you with so much love! She's so precious❤❤ You can really tell she's so well cared for and loved, it's so heartwarming

[@Hailfire08]

Astronomy is crammed with super impressive women. In the early days, 'computers' were people paid to do calculations and sort data, and so e.g. Henrietta Swan Leavitt discovered that a certain type of variable star had a very consistent brightness that could then be used to measure the distances to other galaxies. Equally, there are many stories of the men leading those groups taking credit, like with e.g. Jocelyn Bell Burnell not getting the credit for her discovery of pulsars, with a Nobel prize going to her supervisor at the time, Antony Hewish.

[@w1lstar.b425]

From a scientific perspective, the actual theory of love languages is complete nonsense. But you are completely right that communication is very important to maintain healthy relationships.

[@jenniferrollin5777]

My mom said the exact same thing about "keeping my head down". She especially pushed it when I told her that I was being emotionally and mentally harassed/bully at my first job (14 years old). Because of her "advice", I brought that to every single one of my jobs and now, I have extreme job-related anxiety that I can't function in a work setting unless it's remote and on my own. So, thanks for that mom! 👍

[@claudiacook619]

Really great video. My experience of women in the work force is being in hospital for my mental health and working in the NHS where probably 80%-90% of the staff were women. I would be dead if women were all still at home since almost all the nurses and HCAs who really helped me were female, and I would have been further traumatised by having male 1:1s looking at me showering etc. And watching the absolutely incredible women I worked with in the NHS only furthered my gratitude that these incredible people were able to fulfil their potential in helping thousands and thousands of people over their careers. Women are awesome.

[@poppy9259]

How many families are able to live off of a single income these days, even if they wanted to?

[@evelyncolon5497]

Not many…pretty much the only arguably “bad” part of the feminist movement is that as more women entered the workforce wages have gone down as corporations recognized that there were more two income households. Even still, a great deal of people in the past could not afford that lifestyle, and women that had to work had no rights. I will gladly accept that however if it means that those women that didn’t have rights before now receive fairer treatment and higher wages. Women like Lori are selfish in the way that they lament this, saying it’s all the feminists’ fault and that it’s an awful thing. They think that their lives of comfort are more important than poor people having rights. Edit what I’ll add to this is that Lori hates socialism. She thinks that it’s not right in any respect for people to be paying taxes to support other people. And yet she thinks that miraculously if a woman’s husband dies or if a single woman gets pregnant that the church will come together and support her. With people that subscribe to Lori’s beliefs it’s like pulling teeth to get them to give anything to anyone, so idk what kind to cognitive dissonance she’s having lmfao.

[@miscalotastuff733]

Very few.

[@miscalotastuff733]

I dont know what planet she is from but the church wont do jack. They dont help women they just expect the women to help and serve the church. That is until they are no longer of child bearing age and their husband dies. Then they either ask her to leave or imply finding a church closer to home until they quit. The church no longer values women outside their role. Once their role is done so are they.

[@her8366]

thanks to women joining the workforce I've been able to feel more comfortable sharing my problems with and receiving help from female practitioners, female psychologists, a female obgyn, and many female teachers

[@sweepandsooty]

I feel like she's bitter that she didn't break up with her husband when he cheated on her, now she's stuck in a miserable and loveless marriage.

[@monsterous6152]

Wait, he cheated on her?

[@sweepandsooty]

@@monsterous6152 Yepp apparently so, quite a few years ago though I believe

[@monsterous6152]

@Lia wow. Just....wow. I feel like that explains her extreme bitterness towards other women now. Everything that she preached, every single thing she did to force herself into a role she bought so deeply into and betrayed herself.... I highly doubt she'll ever be able to admit she's wrong, or miserable.

[@kathartzell4856]

Lori is generally very harmful for poor souls who listen to her. Among other horrible statements she said some time ago that having sex with her husband is like cleaning toilets, she does not enjoy it, but it's a necessary chore. I don't know who am I more sad for her or her husband.

[@AW-uv3cb]

eugh what an awful comparison to make about your own and your partner's sex life! I wish those people could actually experience what it feels like to have mutually pleasurable sex with someone you love and they love you, it can be so intimate. Hell, I wish they could just have a really fun quick happy romp with someone!

[@miscalotastuff733]

We were taught women werent to enjoy sex. It has to be pleasurable for the man and painful for the woman. Through pain and constant suffering we become closer to God. Women deserve suffering for the broken convenants and sins of eve.

[@FrumiousMing8]

I see two options, either Lori does not communicate with her husband that she sometimes does not enjoy having sex with him or he knows and does it anyway. Terrible either way but I feel like the latter is the worst option.

[@cmm5542]

​@@miscalotastuff733 I don't know who ever taught that. I have a degree in theology and there is literally NOTHING in the Bible or any recognized theologian that says this. It makes me angry as a Christian that people who clearly are NOT Christians invented this horrible idea of marital inequality and then marketed it as ours! Yes, traditional orthodox Christianity does have some ideas that God made men to do 'male' things and women to do 'female' things. But they are supposed to be equally respected and it's not as cut and dried as some people make it out to be. Deborah ruled Israel. Simeon AND Anna both were given equal honour in recognizing Christ as a child. Later, Jesus' ministry was financed by WOMEN. The apostles were all men but the financial backers were all women (and there were both male and female disciples; people get the disciples confused with the 12 apostles a lot) - that kind of puts a new perspective on Christian equality of the sexes. And Christian husbands are supposed to satisfy their wives as much as their wives do them. I mean, I do think the problems the original lady explained led to her divorce probably could have been resolved by proper couple's counselling - it sounded like miscommunication rather than cheating or abuse, so it's sad to think they lost their relationship instead of learning to communicate and support each other properly. But just telling someone to 'deal with it' REALLY isn't going to help them deal with it!

[@TheBlackDork]

Literally thank you for saying all this, I don't know when people are going to stop misrepresenting Christianity.

[@IndyMartiniVideos]

I'm also a shower of love via gift-giving! Either giving them a gift I thought about for a long time, or they wouldn't have expected (i.e. they mentioned it ages ago, or is a little more expensive or difficult to obtain than expected), or small things like buying their favourite sweet while they're going through something, or for no reason at all! Just that show of 'hey, I didn't have to, but I thought of you anyways and considered what would make you happy even when you weren't here to prompt it' ! In terms of receiving, I'm also a word of affirmation person, but I also appreciate gift giving for the same reasons as above - knowing that they think of me unprompted and want me to be happy.

[@carleybarnes4365]

Glad my mom doesn’t think like the Transformed Wife or else she would still be with my abusive dad. My mom knows how to stand up for herself!

[@yikes268]

What about NZ Prime Minister (the highest paying job in NZ) Jacinda Ardern who led us through a pandemic, a terrorist attack, a volcano eruption and more whilst raising her infant daughter! An incredible example of a woman in the workforce.

[@alexkidd3d]

Big Joel I think had a recent video deconstructing the love language theory and criticising it pretty harshly. Its worth a watch. I agree with his criticisms but do definitely acknowledge an underlying truth to it that people are often talking past eachother when it comes to showing their feelings. I think there could definitely be categories and structure made to quantify and explain that even if the love language guy (cant remember his name) isnt exactly it. Anyway, great video as always and I really enjoy how articulate you are at verbalising relationships and emotions, always gives me a lot to think about. Keep up the good work.

[@stringtheories9820]

Your dog’s snuffling noises are wonderful and hilarious

[@sarcodonblue2876]

She is so sweet

[@someonerandom256]

I think you hit the nail on the head. She is a deeply unhappy woman and wants everyone else to be as unhappy as she is. That would give her unhappy life some meaning in her eyes.

[@carmen8958]

that bit abt love languages is truly so important to long lasting relationships of any kind platonic or not. i’m also a words of affirmation kinda girl and people have always gotten that confused w me being insecure, i just want to be reminded i’m making someone i love happy! i understand why people would think that but if i verbalize that’s not what it is and i just need words of encouragement and love then it shouldn’t be a problem if you’ve signed up to be around me.

[@carmen8958]

also your dog snoring warms my heart😂 baby was sleepin good!

[@Mylittlestcorner]

Someone here who can get fulfillment from chores!! But that's because I'm chronically depressed, so getting chores done is breakthroughs. Though I don't actually enjoy doing the chores 🤣

[@naomistarlight6178]

It's really sad how little these people care about the rights of individuals to pursue happiness. Isn't that stated as the value of some country?

[@mirandarensberger6919]

A right endowed by their creator, no less.

[@Kotifilosofi]

Lori's reaction is the typical reaction of someone who's made irreversible wrong choices (such as spending decades of your life as SAHM) in their lives and realize (at least subconsciously) that there's no going back and they'll never be able to have a fullfilling life. The only thing left that can help people like these to feel even a little bit better is to try & make other look bad, like they had it better, or trying to recruit others to do the same wrong choices, so you can convince yourself that the choice was right after all, or at least you won't be the only one feeling bad. Both of which Lori is doing quite vigorously by defaming the people she envies and trying to make her lifestyle look attractive to young women. Had she made the choices in life that genuinely made her feel good and happy, she would have absolutely no reason to care about anyone else's lifestyles. Her attitude screams bitterness, helplessness and hopelessness.

[@Eiuol81853]

While there a certain level of nastiness to Lori's rhetoric, it gets put into perspective when you realize that she has been indoctrinated to believe that her natural and normal condition was to be a human version of a doormat. So when she sees women having the nerve and audacity to stand up for themselves, she's bothered that women think exercise their agency. The interesting part is that when Lori claims that women in the workforce has been detrimental to society how come Lori overlooks her having her own channel.

[@hetheron]

Im a nurse, but instead of humble bragging I'm going to uplift my coworkers instead. They are some of the strongest, smartest, kindness, and hardworking people I have ever met in my life. Many of them are single mothers working to provide for their children, and then they have the strength to come in and care for other people's loved ones. Just last week I walked by a coworker sitting bedside with her computer so I stopped in and asked her what was up, and she informed me that the man in the bed was actively dying and didn't have any living family and "no one should have to die alone" As nurses we are often overworked and underpaid, and yet we are the backbone of Healthcare and I am so fortunate and so grateful to have so many STRONG ass women as my coworkers. P.S. many of them are religious, but instead of using that to knock others down, the believe that they were put on this earth to heal people, not to judge which I think is a beautiful thing!

[@kaitlynnp582]

I often feel grateful for plumbing, but I think I'm getting there by a very different path than Lori. I'm glad people before me cared to come up with things like buried sewers and pressurized potable water systems, and then to teach others how it's done so that many many people can benefit.

[@SairynadeX3]

The last post of Lori's.... all history aside (women have always been in the workforce?!?!) is there any middle class or lower family that can survive on one partner's income right now? Rent in my area for a 1bed 1bath apartment is 1600-1800 if you have any pets. Maybe I WOULD like being a house-spouse if I was sure my other could afford to pay our bills- I'll never know, I'm not rich enough to find out

[@bananas999]

13:20 I feel you, dishes is horrible - feeling the water and knowing that the water is dirty makes my whole body cringe. Getting rubber gloves changed my life 😂

[@tobymartin2137]

I think this is the first time I've ever heard the term 'love language' explained, or possibly even uttered at all. Guess I've still got a lot to learn about interpersonal relationships, but thanks for providing these insights. Because of that, I guess it makes sense that being a Christian didn't work out for me - someone having themselves tortured and executed without asking, and then demanding every aspect of my life in return is not how I'd like love communicated to me. xD

[@immiwright7386]

No parasocial relationship intended, but it's so wonderful to hear Rachel talking about having a partner who cares about her and communicates with her properly ❤❤❤

[@CreativaArtly]

Nice video, Rachel. My main love language is gift giving as well btw. For receiving mine is words of affirmation if I remember correctly.

[@MasbyzeAllTopicsFiction]

Dear Rachel, you're so intelligent, beautiful and kind. Thanks for the videos and opening up to us. Long time subscriber, I admire you very much!

[@RachelOates]

Thank you so so much! ♥

[@aripinkberry1810]

You can tell how angry and unsatisfied Laurie is just by the way she gets upset at the fact that other people make the decision to be happy for themselves. It’s incredibly sad that she keeps being bitter because she didn’t make a decision for herself, which according to her is of her own choosing, but based on how she reacts to anyone making a good decision, I am inclined to think that she’s not choosing to stay in a relationship she clearly doesn’t want to be a part of.

[@graceleathers5970]

Man, I wish I’d had someone tell me that sex isn’t “giving something away,” but it’s “gaining an experience” that would’ve been so helpful

[@spazcake1755]

Isn't Lori the lady that compares sex with her husband to cleaning the toilet? That's totally the person you should get relationship advice from.

[@sorchayoung8867]

6:13 i really really enjoy how you are explaining this concept of communication through love language, it is so comprehensive and gives me a good understanding of how love languages interact with each other.

[@everest5718]

Women entering the workforce did no good? OH HO. OH HO HO HO Women were the original computers, before the machines we all use came into existence women’s jobs were to make calculations for their bosses and the first programmers were also women. Only when was it seen as a science and started advancing into home computing was when it became a male dominated field, because men were more likely to grow up with a computer and the classes relied on previous knowledge of computers when most homes only had one main computer per household. Early game developers were also women, pushed out because video games were marketed as specifically a male toy which meant more boys became interested in video games and would enter game development. These fields becoming male dominated made women feel unwelcome or even pushed out by harassment, and now these things are seen as “only male” things to do when that isn’t true at all. It’s mind boggling to me that people think this way, even from a conservative perspective the economy practically doubled in size after women joined the workforce because the number of potential employees doubled - meaning more output for companies and more buying power for an average family (assuming both a man and woman worked) doubled as well and meant more money circulated through the economy. This change also allowed disabled men to leave the workforce and be provided for. Sorry if I got some facts wrong I just spat some facts I learned from a flawed education system and the even more flawed internet.

[@elifdilcioluyor]

my cousin loves cooking and he's really good at it. he doesn't find it "time-consuming and monotonous" because he enjoys it. imo,, if you like or love doing something these don't matter because its rewarding to you, you have fun. you may be tired after but it's not bothersome because it reminds you of the fun you had. that's how you find the joy. no one has to find some kinda joy in something to do it either, you can just do it for the sake of it.

[@Atomic_Unicorn13]

Imagine being so mad. Like damn Lori, who hurt you!?

[@warlordofbritannia]

Wet hands just feel wrong. Like, it's one thing to be wet because you're taking a shower or whatever but for some reason I have the same sensory issue with just having my hands wet. Similar issue with moisture from a cold drink for whatever reason.

[@katla_phc]

Same here on the dishwashing. I keep nitrile gloves on hand for dishwashing because the reusable rubber gloves are also a complete nightmare for me.

[@isa.7151]

Idk if you maybe already do this but I have sensory issues when doing the dishes too so I started using gloves (not latex but for sensitive skin) and they help me a lot

[@elenkonakkk1579]

I've watched Rachel from the beginning and now looking how she has grow and (hopefully) gained confidence in doing things that she's been doing makes me so happy. Watching her older videos and then her newest ones really makes me feel super proud of her and myself too. I'm so glad I have somebody like her to guide and help me even though she has no idea about my existence or how much she has actually helped me. She's the only one I don't watch on double speed, that's how much enjoyment I get from simply listening her, never mind, how much I actually get from thinking about her arguments and forming my own ideas. I truly want the best for Rachel and it breaks my heart that she had to go through so many hardships in her life. It's so unfair.

[@PidgeyHowler]

If you find something monotonous, you probably do not find it fun. My partner loves to cook. I do not. I find it monotonous and like it takes way too much time for not enough result. My partner doesn't feel that way. If I express my concerns about how it takes a really long time, he'll acknowledge "Yeah, it does take an hour and a half to prepare this thing, so I could see how you find that long." but it doesn't feel long to him, given he enjoys it.

[@judit5173]

True, people endure monotony differently. My mother told me she enjoys her job, because it's so monotonous it lets her mind wander. While I understand what she ment, given that I worked the same job before, I know several people who find it horribly boring.

[@16poetisa]

Never apologize for Kyra snoring, it's the cutest 🥰 Also, about that question "Does anal sex count as losing your virginity?" The answer, according to many teenagers taught abstinence-only sex-ed in the US, is no. So in some demographics, they'll have unprotected anal sex thinking it's safer than vaginal sex ☹

[@michiyaslana5974]

The silencing of women is absolutely disgusting. I was instructed to hold my tongue my whole life because "it's not girly" to... want respect, apparently? And I have ADHD, I'm a pathological people pleaser, which only makes things worse. I have been taken advantage of SO many times because either I can't say no or I blow things way out of proportion and I'm labeled as hysterical. I was verbally molested by a stranger in a bus who asked me if I was a virgin. A random old man stopped me to tell me I make him hard. A guy I met abroad tried to kiss me and then kept giving me unsolicited, uncomfortable compliments well after I'd said I only want to be friends. At a barbeque I was forced to dance with a drunk "family friend" twice my age because no one would take my "no, I don't want to" for an answer. Fucking hell.

[@cashwalk7253]

I’m so sorry you went through that 😢 I find the silencing of women to be ironic considering that the first people who witnessed the resurrection were women.

[@user-rx9mm3qk6h]

your advice on love languages and relationships was really useful to me, thank you :) I love your channel and always come back to watch your videos ❤

[@SonyShock]

It's always so funny when Rachel is talking and I start hearing Kyra grunting in the back. She wants to be heard too, she has a lot to say!

[@ouwebrood497]

It's her language of love. Those snorings are words of encouragement.

[@SonyShock]

@@ouwebrood497Aw, that's the cutest reply ever! I love it 🥺

[@caseycronan9217]

Aw the little Kyra Sniffies! ❤️ Anyway thanks for another thoughtful video!

[@grandmazambie]

What I don't quite get about virginity culture is what if I just lied everytime? How are they gonna know if it's my first time or not? Are they gonna try and check, like lajlakslajlsk

[@visionaryventures12]

As a child, I had thought of losing virginity as applying to both sexes. I thought of it as simply having one’s first sexual experience. The person is transforming into a new mindset that understands sex.

[@edvh88]

I find complaining helps me get thru the stuff I don’t like, such as boring chores. Always good to keep it in perspective though, and be grateful for what I have. But the grumbling helps move me along sometimes.

[@nightblossomsadler]

I used to believe in the concept of virginity. After I “lost my virginity,” I didn’t really feel like I lost anything at all. Now I make the choice to not have sex because I want to wait until I’m married, but I see that more as abstinence. I also understand that this is my choice, and I shouldn’t try to force others to make the same choices I’m making because everyone lives life differently. That’s okay. I think Christians should use the word abstinence instead of virginity because abstinence is more about you and the choices you’re making to abstain. The word “virginity” just feels objectifying. When Christians talk about virginity as a gift to a future husband, they’re making women out to be objects. That’s a very toxic mindset to have.

[@newme1589]

I know what you mean, you're basically saying "virginity is a social construct thus doesnt matter". I would invite you to truly study what a "social construct" is and how its not "meaningless". So you cant believe or not believe in "virginity", it has real life neurological ramifications. But yes, each time you have s*x with someone different those ramifications are intensified at a neurological level

[@phnx2026]

Personally, I think the concept of love languages is too narrow and I can't really see myself within them, but I can see how they can be useful for some people (just like you described) and I like what they're about, that they lay a focus on listening and understanding each other's needs and obviously it's horrible for Lori to dismiss that in such a way.

[@ouwebrood497]

I think it all starts with the definition of love. We like to value it and talk a lot about it, but I have rarely hearing someone define it. So every discourse about love very soon becomes muddy and flaky pretty soon.

[@vinylcreeks]

25:40 So in India we have a style of draping the saree called नऊवारी (Nauvari)and it was most prominent in the 17th century Maratha rule. It was draped to represent trousers/dhoti so that women had more mobility while fighting or working. We've always needed women in the workforce and lori needs to learn some history.

[@kngxn7437]

fr tho women have always worked. I'm VNese and even back in our more conservative era there were women who did all the work so their husbands could focus on education. Many countries actually didn't have the nuclear family men work women stay at home system until the western colonisers came to their land afaik

[@MarceldeJong]

I always wonder how the home life of those people is. If they’re fulfilled in their life. It always seems to me that they’re angry at others because those others do seem to have a certain handle on life that might be better than their own. And they’re lashing out, by saying they’re going the ultra-conservative direction. What The Transformed Wife needs to understand is that what she thinks life should be about is meaningless to others. Who cares if you want to live your life in that way? Just don’t force others to adopt that lifestyle, just because it seems to be the only correct one to you. But this is an issue for more religiosos, see the discussion about abortion, non-heteronormative marriages (and I’ll lump in interracial marriage in here as well, as I fear that that’s the next big ‘issue’ we’ll see pop up again). For them it’s their way or no way and f*** the consequences for others who don’t subscribe to their idea of how the world should be. Dear Transformed Wife, no one is forcing you to live the life of a gay polyamorous truple with an open relationship, why are you trying to force others into your very personal idea of ‘marriage’?

[@lilithalieno5795]

Wow, I love seeing you finally happy in a wonderful healthy relationship. What you’re saying in this video shows that you overcomed your traumas and used them to be a better, indipendent woman. You are a positive model for lots of women and girls in this platform! Be proud of yourself and Thank you for what you’re doing ❤

[@hunterm8516]

Highly recommend Big Joel’s video on love languages- he kind of debunks the idea in a way that gets very existential and weird and it’s a trip

[@vintagearisen]

I'm here to support your channel and drop a like but I'm not sure I can watch one more second of this revolting woman. You are braver than I am. Best of luck to you.

[@jiniebell]

my first thought is Margaret Hamilton and Katherine Johnson who both got us in space and to the moon.

[@Nekulturny]

Maybe I'm being too crass, I haven't been subbed to you as long as I would like to be. So forgive me for the observation I'm about to make if its not appropriate for the community you're trying to cultivate.. My main takeaway in the first 2 minutes of Lori's post is, I just want to apologize to her that her husband in all the years they've been married has never left her feeling satisfied in bed. Seems to me shes clearly internalized never being happy and turned it into this thing where she pretends shes better than people who expect more from life.

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

It's always so nice to see Kyra 🥰💜💞💞

[@aspen1713]

I've seriously tried to type out this comment four separate times trying to articulate how frustrating it is hearing so much onus put on women (don't get assaulted, find a trustworthy man, submit to said man and 'find joy' in it even if he turns out to be a complete shitbag, etc.), rather than raising our sons to not be the type of men that we warn women about.

[@dedkat7]

If you're feeling anxious out Rachel, extra clothing or accessories like hats and sunglasses can really help 😎