Attraction Between Securely Attached & Fearful Avoidants: Unraveling The Confusion | HealingFa.com

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Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful avoidant

Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful avoidant

Күн бұрын

Explore the attraction between securely attached individuals and fearful avoidants, and understand the confusion surrounding these relationship dynamics. Join us as we dive deep into attachment theory to illuminate this intriguing emotional bond.
Sign up for the FREE 3-day course: The Basics of Healing the Fearful Avoidant attachment style at www.healingfa.com
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-- CONTENTS --
00:00 Intro
00:41 You give so much
01:30 They see the good in you
03:23 You are not broken, you are not the pain/trauma and all the worst things you see in yourself
04:05 They see your richness and wisdom because you’ve lived the depths of the human experience
05:02 They see something in you that you don’t and you give them things that you don’t know
09:03 They don’t expect anything from you (you don’t need you to be perfect)

Video Title: Attraction Between Securely Attached & Fearful Avoidants: Unraveling The Confusion | HealingFa.com
This video is about Attraction Between Securely Attached & Fearful Avoidants: Unraveling The Confusion. But It also covers the following topics:
Secure Attachment & Fearful Avoidant
Attraction Explained
Relationship Dynamics
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✅ About Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant.
The way you feel right now is not the way you are. If you want more freedom, calm, love, and peace in your head, body, and life, it is possible. You are not too broken.
‌After spending 14 years healing the fearful avoidant attachment style, I am beyond passionate and dedicated to getting you to where I am now: living a life true to myself, waking up feeling rested and peaceful. Deeply in love with my husband and looking forward to the future. This is what life is supposed to be like, and it is my honor to help you get there.

In the past 7 years, I have guided over 2000 people through my Dutch programs (I am from the Netherlands), to a secure attachment and happy relationship. Over the past year and a half, another 150 beautiful people have been through the English program Healed&Happy. I love seeing how lives can change within three months, and how NORMAL it can feel to have a secure attachment. I wish you so much joy, pleasure, and love.
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#secureattachment #fearfulavoidant #relationshipattraction #attachmenttheory #relationshipdynamics #loveandattachment
Disclaimer: We do not accept any liability for any loss or damage incurred from you acting or not acting as a result of watching any of my publications. You acknowledge that you use the information I provide at your own risk. Do your research.
© Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant

Пікірлер: 90
@nimbussays3676
@nimbussays3676 Жыл бұрын
As an SA I can 100% confirm this. I am really glad this perspective is out there as most of the SA/FA material is warning SAs not to "save" FAs. There IS another way to relate between these two types that is solid and Real and healthy for them both. The kindest, most honest, most magnetic (almost etheric) people I've ever met are ALL trauma survivors suffering from very challenging attachment styles.
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing this!
@TheUnlikelyToad
@TheUnlikelyToad Жыл бұрын
Speaking from experience, for those reading this comment, just be mindful that if you tell your FA all those beautiful things, they may end up feeling too "seen"... which ultimately might have the opposite intended effect. I guess it all depends on where they are at on their healing journey.
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn Жыл бұрын
As an FA I wish to feel seen but that is a whole different experience than feeling exposed. Not sure how to explain the difference. Even a Good Thing can be overwhelming, so one small step at a time.
@lisalee6501
@lisalee6501 Жыл бұрын
I’m FA and when i’m seen like this i don’t run but finally feel safe and suddenly feel attached to the person
@dewedi
@dewedi Жыл бұрын
Honestly this depends on the relationship and where it is at. At the start of the relationship we take your compliments as lies or ways to get to our good side to betray our trust eventually but if the relationship is long AND you make specific pointers to the beautiful things it can feel attaching. This is just my own experience as an FA with more avoid tendencies.
@Brian.Murphy
@Brian.Murphy 5 ай бұрын
How to interact with an FA is certainly an art form that evolves over time. You're certainly right for pointing this out!
@laskaaksala1712
@laskaaksala1712 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for your comment! I think i can grasp where you going with this, But could you/anyone elaborate further? In which way does it create the opposite effect? In Connection to which wound? ..f ex.: is it the Sudden felt discrepancy between how the fa are Seen now and how they havent been before (by their Care givers or so), triggering maybe grief, the void of abscence of Love in their past.. ..or Feeling to 'transparent' and therefore vunerable and now in Potential danger of abuse (as i understand thats a conditioned Relation for fas)..or Feeling patronized/controlled, as sb Said before? Which underlying thoughts motives are shutting down/deactivating them? Thanks ahead for yall Insights and thoughts ✨🍀
@SaminSays
@SaminSays Жыл бұрын
i'm so grateful i'm embodying more secure attachment! i just made my boundaries clear with someone and created a zero tolerance space, while practicing compassion and presence as best as i could. if there is anyone who can consistently practice secure attachment, it's us. we got this! when it feels like slim chances, keep going. the work is done in the dark by staying present and one day progress blooms like you never expected.
@TabbyCakes
@TabbyCakes Жыл бұрын
All of this! 💕
@DavidEsotica
@DavidEsotica Жыл бұрын
Just found this video and it is very true. For at least half of my life FAs have come into my life and I've found them immensely interesting. Perhaps they suffer a lot so they actually feel a lot of compassion... for everyone except themselves. So often they are ready to shine the light on others which is immensely attractive and wholesome. I think the shift into fear comes when trying to shine the light on them. It appears like such an obstacle for them to receive, no matter what is tried, they don't hear it and receive it. Even compliments are reframed into subtle backhanded criticisms. It is confusing and frustrating. They can be hypersexual and sensual for short periods, which actually deepens the connection for the SA, whilst at the same time bypasses the FA's fear of intimacy. It is almost palpable when they realise that they are being confronted/threatened with love and intimacy, they either freeze and shut down or panic and attempt to flee. It is very abrupt and extremely confusing, gradually creating an on-off situation for years. In the meantime, their intellectual and emotional curiousity keeps them mesmerising to the SA, which makes the FA harder to let go.
@riverd537
@riverd537 Жыл бұрын
this is the best video ive found in a long time..i am fearful avoidant and my partner is secure and im always wondering why she loves me so much..but she is just how you describe...she thinks im "magical"...but i just feel like a traumatized person trying not to deactivate and self sabotage my relationship..but she doesnt see me that way and she has no expectations for me to be perfect...she goes with the flow and its incredible to me how even keeled she is...the way you explained this dynamic is amazing..its true as you say..the traumatic shit ive been thru in my life has made me deep and wise...observant and prudent..these are things she loves re me...but i never really saw it from this angle...im so different from her..she had a beautiful safe loving childhood and shes so calm and confident and at peace as she moves thru the world...i understand now why she loves me. thank you so much for helping me see this..its been very hard for me to understand or believe that i cld ever be safe in love.
@Brian.Murphy
@Brian.Murphy 5 ай бұрын
My current girlfriend (not sure what she is, but she leans avoidant), has asked me the same thing multiple times...never really sure what to say as I've never taken an inventory ;-)
@Muse720
@Muse720 Жыл бұрын
“They see you for the best parts of you yet you judge yourself by the worst parts of you.” Oof. Thank you Paulien for the heartfelt reminder to be kind to ourselves! This topic was a question I asked in another video & it definitely came from a place of shame, not even understanding why people are friends with me let alone date me. It’s amazing how easy it is to overlook what comes naturally as not valuable. I’ve heard often that we only believe other people judge us for the things we judge ourselves for. If we don’t love ourself, we can’t accept the idea of other people loving us.
@shaho3125
@shaho3125 Жыл бұрын
These types of videos are painful to watch. The regret of pushing away someone who saw the good in you is hard to bear.
@moulee7448
@moulee7448 Жыл бұрын
😢
@Brian.Murphy
@Brian.Murphy 5 ай бұрын
Life is about learning from one's mistakes. Regret is only useful for a (short) period of reflection, then carry the reflection forward and discard the regret. Life is to be lived, long-term regret impedes that.
@koala01111986
@koala01111986 Ай бұрын
I've been on the receiving end recently...from saying how much he cared and showing it to pushing me away hardly in a blink of an eye
@Brian.Murphy
@Brian.Murphy 5 ай бұрын
Another SA here. Just stumbled upon the whole relationship attachment mapping stuff a few days ago, and feel like I've fallen into another dimension that I wasn't even aware of! After all, I don't think most SA's question the why a relationship works or not as intimately as those currently housed in other attachment styles. Just wasn't on my radar, though I've certainly had relationships with all these other attachment styles throughout my life. Fascinating. The boundaries we as SA's have to put up and the irregular behaviors are typically due to the more "colorful" aspects that FAs bring to the table - interesting facets of another beautiful being to be understood over time. The one thing I learned early on is as you said, I can't fix anyone - I can only be a canvas on which they draw different interpretations of themselves or a sounding board. As I've told ex's in the past - "your shit is your shit, but I'll certainly listen!" I feel privileged to watch others heal...
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 5 ай бұрын
Beautiful Brian! Thank you for being here and learning more :)
@anja7787
@anja7787 Жыл бұрын
Can you do a video on how a FA can reach out and apologize and what it takes to change and rebuild that trust with their SP
@livewires8637
@livewires8637 Жыл бұрын
This would be an interesting topic to hear about.
@cosmo8771
@cosmo8771 Жыл бұрын
yes! a vid like that would be great!
@Jd19808
@Jd19808 Жыл бұрын
For sure 💯
@wge621
@wge621 11 ай бұрын
I think there are distinct stages of being a FA When you first learn about FA, it's incredibly validating to realize there's a reason you are the way you are, and you're not alone. After that it can ironically feel VERY lonely because you feel like the little ball of trauma that you described. You feel defined by it. You start to get glimpses of being healed and changes in your behavior and relationships. I'm there now! And finally, i believe the next stage is being completely healed. Grateful for the unique qualities you hold, and forgiving of yourself and the people who have hurt you. I can't wait to get there!
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 11 ай бұрын
Amazing that you are doing the work. Keep it up!
@pritishshokeen1999
@pritishshokeen1999 Жыл бұрын
This literally made me cry!💕
@winterveiro2465
@winterveiro2465 Жыл бұрын
I've been already seeing your videos for a couple of weeks now, but this particular video made me cry longer, because I noticed I was not only pushing away my current partner(long distance relationship) but also the few chances I had to get friends. At this moment I have no idea how I'm in a relationship if throughout my whole life I struggled to keep friendship, to the point now I have zero contact, other than only my family. I often tell myself relationship is really not my thing, and better off alone, however since I discovered I have this fearful avoidant attachment thanks to your videos, I am trying to practice taping and learning to be more patience and kind to myself. Thank you Pauline for the amazing work you do.
@ibrabi7072
@ibrabi7072 Жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏼. Im always striving for perfection and i feel i messed up whenever i make a mistake and my thoughts spiral to believing that its over because of that. I need to learn to forgive myself
@ayonalovecoaching
@ayonalovecoaching Жыл бұрын
Beautiful video, well done 💚
@estelao.b.1473
@estelao.b.1473 Жыл бұрын
Thank you. 🥰
@fruittofruition1254
@fruittofruition1254 Жыл бұрын
So valuable my dear, love how your videos feel personal x
@Anne.....
@Anne..... Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@canvea
@canvea Жыл бұрын
I'm an anxious leaning FA who just left my securely attached boyfriend of 8 years after he proposed to me. I relate so much to the feeling of not being enough, not being the good wife that I felt that he needed. My shame and guilt drained me of energy and love and it resulted in me leaving. I'm worried about regretting my decision every day, and I'm trying to awaken the sorrow inside me asap, as I know it might take too long for me to realize how sad I actually am and he will have moved on by then.
@hspinnovators5516
@hspinnovators5516 5 ай бұрын
Do everything you can to become secure he is a keeper
@sunbeam9222
@sunbeam9222 Жыл бұрын
The only thing I don't like about my FA is that they left me. I see their insecurities I see their short comings I see their lash out at times also. And I get it. I might need a day or so sometimes cos their words can sound hurtful and I m only human, but I never felt disappointed or wanted to break up with them. That was all in their mind. To me we were having a beautiful relationship and working on things like couples do, life life demands. To them, the fact that I told them to please not speak to me that way and we need to talk calmly meant that I was so disappointed with them, to the point of no return. It became such a big problem in their eyes. To me it was just having a discussion. They broke up. I didn't go after them. That was it.
@MntRprznt
@MntRprznt Жыл бұрын
I had similar experiences - FA’s tend to think its all good and then walk in to an empty house at some stage. Its shit, because we feel awesome and the partner usually hides their real feelings because they dont think you can change. But i hope we can…
@zane2302
@zane2302 Жыл бұрын
" to please not speak to me that way and we need to talk calmly meant that I was so disappointed with them, to the point of no return." Same exact thing happened when I told my FA ex this. She claimed it was "just how she was" and ended it.
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn Жыл бұрын
Might be flight out of shame. As volatile as FA can get, hurting the one they love feels like a capital crime. I would not be surprised if she could not live with herself if it would happen again. The only way to guarantee that it would never happen again is to go away.
@sunbeam9222
@sunbeam9222 Жыл бұрын
@@evadebruijn might explain why they reacted so strongly whenever I expressed a disagreement. Actually only happened twice. First time they decided to let me go because I said it feels like a rollercoaster. To me it was only making an observation and opening the door of communication, to them it seemed like I wanted to break up so they "sacrificed" themselves and set me free. We reconnected beautifully, 6 months later happens again, they get upset and throw real harsh words. Then next day they come back with a quick apology and behave like nothing much happened while I was still trying to recover from those words said. They sensed I wasn't my usual self and i told them I just need a little time to digest it. And that was it, I just wanted a little time, they freaked out, got defensive again. Ouch, I felt as if I could never ever express any upset. A break up had not crossed my mind because the relationship as a whole was beautiful and working from my perspective so that came as a big surprise. Thank you for your explanation.
@DarkShadowBlackz18
@DarkShadowBlackz18 Жыл бұрын
I’ve felt and done all of this. While I cared for her deeply it was emotional turmoil. And I’m the long run it’s not good for you when you meet someone else someone more ‘balanced’ I’d like to word it. It will be a breath of fresh air I’m telling you.
@jellyrcw12
@jellyrcw12 Жыл бұрын
This was very insightful. Thank you for sharing. I really struggle with shame
@tiptapkey
@tiptapkey Жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you. I've been working hard on this in therapy and feel myself changing, but I was still worried no securely attached people would ever want to be with me.
@suras8984
@suras8984 Жыл бұрын
Listen to Kim Velez meditations. I realized that I told myself so much negative stories about myself and that these stories were creating my reality. I would say to myself why are men I like always too busy for me. Why is that even a reality. This isnt something that everyone experiences so why is it my experience. I had to start telling myself that men love spending time with me and then the next guy I dated literally drove an hour to see me several times a week. We have to change the stories we tell ourselves to positive ones and eventually they will become beliefs and people will see the confidence and become attracted by default. You are the bomb!!! Who else can detect micro facial expressions like we do?? lol
@P___999
@P___999 8 ай бұрын
Love it, Paulien.
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for being here❤
@cloudslady3400
@cloudslady3400 Жыл бұрын
That's what i've been asking myself for an entire year! I thought I was the only one who went through this type of dynamic I have a lot of secure friends who seem to like me so much in the beginning which makes me suspicious...but I keep going.. in the end they suddenly change..from liking me so much to calling me "fake" even though I didn't try to impress them what so ever...and most of the time I told them about my past relationships and struggles..so I get fed up with their expectations...they don't seem to understand me with time..they only get more confused..no matter how hard I explain myself I don't think they'll get it
@elodyluna
@elodyluna Жыл бұрын
hello.. my last ex made me feel the way you just described. I’ve been healing a lot over the past years and have become more securely attached whilst also being a FA, I’m now (after breaking up first) back to dating the same new person and learning that there are people out there (also friends) who will be there for you even if they don’t understand you. i’m communicating more to all of my close friends+partner because even though I am afraid and panicked for not knowing if I’m doing it wrong or don’t have it figured out yet, the loving people around me show me patience, they engage with what i bring to the table and we figure things out together, even if we don’t get it for a while. I just want to say it’s out there, and you deserve to be understood, seen for the good you are, that you deserve patience and kindness.
@reenichristilda
@reenichristilda Жыл бұрын
wow
@alexistokarska9541
@alexistokarska9541 11 ай бұрын
As a fearful avoidant I have a really hard time understanding this. I have a friend, he's trying to help me through my healing journey from cptsd and my attachment style. Every time when I have my lows, I have the doubts, I fall into procrastination and running away from the healing work because It's safe this way he's talking to me, he's helping me, giving me the motivation speach almost and I just can't believe how is it possible that he's nit sick of me yet, that he says that he doesn't expect anything from me and he likes me for me and I'm internally like "how would you like me for me, when that 'me' is this broken thing you see that runs away from healing and making life better? I'm not even giving you anything". I struggle a lot and he doesn't have many problems, but when something pops up he's talking to me about that and I'm helping him, but I still feel like It's nothing compared to what he does for me. This is amazing how he sees me for the things I actually do not for what I don't do or should do.
@Brian.Murphy
@Brian.Murphy 5 ай бұрын
The meaning of life, is love, my dear...and as an SA your friend knows that innately. Love doesn't have to be romantic and is one of the only things in life that, when given, you are rewarded for multiple times over in how you feel. You'll get there, then it will make sense. And then it will be your turn to pass it on.
@user-fl9kz7us6p
@user-fl9kz7us6p Жыл бұрын
i don't know how tf did you do that, but section- "you give so much" was quite painful to hear, despite containing only complements. And now im just scared to identify and understand that s. Was my attempt to self heal from FA just another sience based way to hate myself ? Was those complement words even true and can apply to myself, or it is so deeply wanted ego boost? My hands litteraly shacking while i writing this comment 3 days since i watched this video. This one pierced deep, i guess i needed that, so thankyou (still scared to death to watch the rest of the video)
@MsGuitars666
@MsGuitars666 Жыл бұрын
I think this video is really sweet and I understand the sentiment behind it. I just think it creates hopes that might not be realistic. In my client practice and also learning from other counsellors over the years, I barely ever see securely attached people moving past the dating stage with fearful avoidants. The volatility and push and pull is simply not attractive to us in the long term. There might be a spark, but I barely ever see securely attached people being in a long term relationship with a fearful avoidant. They can feel love and affection like you described in the video, there is no judgement at all and I see many beautiful things in FA's. But the lack of vulnerability and ups and downs make it too difficult to sustain a relationship. The only instance I see this happening is when someone is partially secure (say 40-50%) and partially fearful avoidant. We don't expect people to be perfect as you said :-) but there must be some expectations in adult relationships, they just need to be communicated and fair. You can definitely have a healthy relationship as a fearful avoidant, but not without doing the work. Not because you are not worthy without! But also to be fair to future partners :)
@theresa88
@theresa88 Жыл бұрын
Is this comment helpful to the Fearful Avoidants who watch this channel and are trying to heal? Also, I am an FA and I have been in a relationship for 2 years and it just keeps getting better and better. Paulien herself has been in a long-term relationship for over ten years. If you're an FA, please don't read this comment and become discouraged. You're watching this channel, which means you're conscious of your behaviour and your shortcomings. Just keep going and keep believing in your ability to heal.
@MntRprznt
@MntRprznt Жыл бұрын
Some FA are aware of their issues and make things work, or simply securely attached people dont push the tempo on the relationship and things can be taken with more ease and stress then. Love is also a key factor that helps with change, you all seem to forget what that chemistry can motivate us to do.
@sunbeam9222
@sunbeam9222 Жыл бұрын
@@MntRprznt unfortunately love has nothing to do with this. Awareness and a strong willingness to change is what matters
@MntRprznt
@MntRprznt Жыл бұрын
@@sunbeam9222 Love gives you energy and a drive - I think both things are quite important when trying to fix yourself.
@MsGuitars666
@MsGuitars666 Жыл бұрын
@@theresa88 It is, cause it is the reality, and it is not fair to be comforted by a lie. What is unhelpful I think is people dreaming and hoping for someone when the reality turns out different. Of course it is possible to get into a healthy relationship, but only if people are willing to do the work. You don't have to be perfect to be loved, you can have a healthy relationship even if all you've ever known is tumultuous relationships! But it does require work; it is not fair to sit and wait on someone and pull them into a rollercoaster of yesses and no's
@nannuky1128
@nannuky1128 Жыл бұрын
they are??? God, there's hope for me
@kevinchahine7553
@kevinchahine7553 6 ай бұрын
"This girl on the internet, she said I should do this." 😂😂😂
@livewires8637
@livewires8637 Жыл бұрын
Can disorganized attachment can be on a spectrum? Like someone can exhibit less or more extreme behaviors?
@shaho3125
@shaho3125 Жыл бұрын
I think an FA leans to either the dismissive or anxious side of things but can still exhibit both.
@lukeboylan7901
@lukeboylan7901 Жыл бұрын
Hope the comments can help, but I was dating a FA and I couldn't deal with the constant actions because I had no idea what was happening and she found me to become needy and we stopped. Then I tried again but she didn't like relationships and wanted us to be natural with it which I wasn't having. After a month or so of no contact she reached out and we began texting, we met at a bar and she acted really interested and we slept together. The next morning she went from wanting to cuddle and be loving to going to the far side of the bed and avoiding me. We've hung out since and every time she seems to be having too much fun or things get intimate she looks at me like I've kicked her dog and acts like I'm scum or a stranger. I was wondering how I get her to continue showing more or be willing to be intimate with me etc, what am I supposed to do? She clearly likes me, but pushes me away everutime she seems close to making it obvious
@nigelbhebhe2805
@nigelbhebhe2805 Жыл бұрын
Three words: Just. Move. On. Is she really worth the heartbreak she's causing you?
@hbirg7893
@hbirg7893 Жыл бұрын
The confusion and anxiety isint worth it. I have been there and i can tell you that this hot and cold cycle will not stop. There will be days where they are really open and into you, then the next day they close up again. Youre worth more
@zane2302
@zane2302 Жыл бұрын
I agree with the other two comments. I'll add that she needs to consciously make the decision and take the steps to heal. It's not your responsibility to "fix/ heal" her. If she is actively working on healing and communicating with you about her struggles and taking ownership, then there's hope. If not, I'd move on.
@lukeboylan7901
@lukeboylan7901 Жыл бұрын
@Zane we went for a walk today, and while she mentioned at the start that she's trying to do the friendship route she kinda didn't stay there too long. She started telling me what I done wrong when we did date, she then told me about her ex and said he cheated on her and she has serious trust issues now and the relationship was so toxic she doesn't want to be in one soon. She then started saying I'm somehow still here and she's trusting me mote but still not 100%, and then she said how one of her friends mentioned she should give me another chance, which she did not have to mention at all🤷‍♂️. I did let her know tho I'm kinda texting other people atm so I'm not gonna wait around all the time either
@williamhissom3921
@williamhissom3921 Жыл бұрын
So I need some help and I feel this may be a good place to g et it. I am 43 years old with fearful avoidant attachment style. I have struggled with issues my entire life but now that I am older...and they seem to know what is going on rather than...Depression and social anxiety...anyways...I am being told my core beliefs are corrupted. The thing I am struggling with is when I look back on my life, all my interactions up to this point are proof that I am less than. Experience is the mother of all teachers. I've been isolated for 14 years...no friends...no relationships...but I recently cracked. I had to get help...but now I am having a serious internal struggle and it is so draining on me. I have been just crying and tearing up at work while fighting this internal struggle. All these years I just accepted it, now people are telling me to not believe myself anymore...I am so lost. The fact that I haven't have sex in 14 years doesn't help much either. I cant even get a date...more or less laid. I am sooooo lost. 43 yo MALE Phoenix
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn Жыл бұрын
🍀❤️❤️❤️🤗❤️❤️❤️🍀 I know you need a whole lot more than a virtual hug from some stranger but hey it's a start Keep the faith 💪 No work on improving your life is ever in vain. Like exercise is my holy grail, best therapy ever. Highly recommend it. ✌️
@elodyluna
@elodyluna Жыл бұрын
i feel for you so much. the confusion and maybe even feeling more betrayal is literal hell. I wish there was more I can do but I want to send you love and compassion. I wish rest and safety for you so you can heal step by step. you are very very strong and very capable, thanks for your vulnerability. love❤
@Nightswim_
@Nightswim_ Ай бұрын
Female In same position . I hate casual sex anyway so I am celibate and dotn even bother dating now since I am in such a low state of confidence, and if I do attempt it will just be letting myself get used sexually . I’ve never have physical and emotional intimacy at the same time , barring a specific situation (that was unrequited actually , but there was care )and it breaks my heart because I am very sensitive and loving , if I can chip away at this isolating wall.
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn Жыл бұрын
🙏❣️✌️
@fx4147
@fx4147 Жыл бұрын
Why FAs don’t change or don’t want to change?
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Жыл бұрын
There are actually a lot of FA's that want to change. It is just hard to do, and most believe they will fail. They never really learned to trust themselves, and dealing with a lot of trauma is just hard. And then still, so many want to change and put in work to try to heal. How amazing is that?
@rebeccaowen8565
@rebeccaowen8565 9 ай бұрын
I'm FA, and I'm trying very hard to change. I'm so much better than I was, I'm recognising the patterns now. Every time I want to run from my relationship, I turn around and look at why. My partner is so loving and patient, I own my own trauma now instead of becoming distant. We're not all bad. We just need to work on healing and loving ourselves.
@SONNYLCR
@SONNYLCR 2 ай бұрын
As SA loving my FA woman.. Thank you sooooooo much for this video. I couldn’t have said it any better than you just did 🥹❤️
@SONNYLCR
@SONNYLCR 2 ай бұрын
I actually watched this multiple times now.. cuz you’re really speaking from the heart of an SA here. Just wow… ❤️
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