Autism and Air Travel: Strategies for Navigating Social Anxiety and Sensory Overwhelm

I recently returned from a trip where I flew for one of the first times since learning I am autistic. This new perspective really helped me understand just how stressful this process can be for people on the spectrum and allowed me to utilize several new tips and tricks for navigating these types of experiences.
In this video I’ll walk you through the air travel process in stages while sharing some of my favorite resources along the way. At the end of the video I’ll open up the bag I took with me on the plane and show you what I packed to help manage social anxiety and sensory overwhelm.
I’d love to hear about your own tips and tricks for navigating air travel in the comments below!
Scroll down for timestamps to jump to a specific section of the video.
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⏰ Timestamps 🕰
My Perspective (2:25)
Managing your mindset (3:19)
Pre-flight (5:08)
Disability Accommodations (11:09)
Sunflower Lanyards (13:05)
At the airport (14:17)
Security (17:52)
On the Flight (19:16)
Post-Flight (22:28)
A note about the week before travel (24:18)
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Traveling with Developmental Disabilities in America: www.transportation.gov/sites/...
The Sunflower Lanyard Project: hiddendisabilitiesstore.com/
Weighted eye mask: www.amazon.com/Compression-He...
Flare Calmer Earbuds: www.flareaudio.com/products/c...
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I'm Tay, a married mom of 2 who was diagnosed with Autism at 31 years old. This was after YEARS of therapy (and all of the self tests in the world!). My diagnosis has brought up questions, frustration, doubt, but most importantly, a new level of self compassion and understanding.
I'm here to share knowledge, resources, and products that empower other neurodivergents (and their loved ones) to live freely and creatively. I'm not a doctor so please speak with your healthcare providers before implementing any recommendations I make on my channel.
Females are under-diagnosed due to lack of research. Please share any videos that are helpful to you so we can spread awareness and acceptance.
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[@withheldformyprotection5518]

I’ve experienced one of my very few meltdowns while flying. Fortunately, one of the flight attendants recognized my distress and allowed me to pace by the rear restrooms (my stim) until I was able to self-regulate. The attendant then was kind enough to offer me a jumper seat at the rear or the plane to provide space to breathe. I spent much of the nine hour flight in that jumper seat, but was able to return to my assigned seat before landing. I did not know I was autistic at that time, but clearly the flight attendant saw what I am and knew how to provide assistance. I am forever grateful to that wonderful, compassionate person. I’ve flown many times since then, so knowing the “routines” of flying help to keep me regulated. I still struggle with the crowds, and security theater, but once I am past that point I find a quiet spot in the terminal and meditate.

[@CinkSVideo]

I tend to go into the bathroom stall right after a flight and will stay there for a bit. It’s the only place that no one is touching me. I also walk as much as I can before my flight. Stepping at a pace is a very good active stim.

[@coal.sparks]

1. If you're like me and you arrive at the airport AGES before your flight (or have a long layover between flights) after you've identified your gate, find an actual sit-down restaurant reasonably nearby. The calm routine of ordering and eating, not just frenetically shoving fast food in as fast as you can, is nice, plus the individual tables give you some space from other people, and the chairs are often more comfortable than the benches. 2. Another way I create space is to bring an absorbing book. My preferences are either a short story anthology by a familiar author where I know what to expect or one of my "comfort books" that I love and re-read constantly. Either way, they're books I can easily interrupt without feeling like I really want to get back to the story. I'm a bit of a nervous flyer (not horribly so, but I start listening too hard to the engine sound trying to tell if things are off, and then my thoughts spiral...). 3. The idea about essential oils is great but please use them sparingly. As someone who is very sensitive to certain scents, I once was very motion sick on a flight after the person in front of me used an eucalyptus linen spray on her blanket (which really just went into the air everyewhere). They do make aromatherapy inhalers, so they might be a better choice, to help out your fellow neurodivergent folks.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for sharing these helpful tips!

[@Sky-Child]

+1 for the scents! They trigger migraines for me. Please just don't

[@sharpcanines3347]

@@Sky-Child yes I get headaches from any perfumes, scents, men's colognes.

[@cory99998]

So I'm not crazy, airports actually are overwhelming

[@emmalove5080]

I went overseas a little while ago (during the holidays) and it was my first time since Covid and my autism diagnosis which was in March 2020, and I had my sunflower lanyard on it and the flight attendant recognized that I am autistic. The thing I hate about flying is when the plane takes off, it gives me anxiety and I hate how planes can be full on longer flights. I also had to wait a while when I got back during baggage claim and it was quite some time until I got out of the airport.

[@sydneehargrave]

I realize I’m late to the party with watching this, but thank you so much for this video!! I’m about to fly again for the first time in 6 years, and for the first time alone. My two previous airport experiences were both incredibly stressful, and both resulted in what I now realize were meltdowns. I LOVE flying, and once I get on the plane I’m 100% fine, but navigating through TSA as well as finding my way around the airport is really hard and scary to me. I really appreciate all of your tips and am excited to implement them this time, hoping that it leads to a more positive experience. 🥰

[@brianfoster4434]

Good advice for anyone. That said, I cannot stand being rushed. I over plan my travel and am often past the security check point 3 hours before the flight boards. I also get really anxious of little changes in the schedule or even gate changes.. so I am constantly checking the app. I always need a day at the end of the trip just to recover. Thank you for your videos. They are insightful. I'm not officially diagnosed, but I do have indications (on line tests say that anyway). Thanks.

[@adventureswithkt]

TSA precheck has been a GAME CHANGER!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Awesome!

[@adventureswithkt]

@@MomontheSpectrum Thank you sooo much for your channel!!! Found it yesterday, cannot wait to watch more. I also bought the Flare Calmers! Bless you!

[@toph7]

These tips are so helpful! Thank you for sharing! You mentioned a few tips about going through security, and a few more I’d add that have been helpful for me are: - check the list of items they’re looking for in advance, so you don’t loose an item you were hoping to have available for you - put all the items that need taken out of your bag in a pouch that is easy to pull out and put back in (laptop, liquids, etc), and/organize by type - know what items your bringing that may trigger a search (example; I often bring my own gluten free flour and they always search/test that security) - wear no, or little jewelry, so you have very few items you need to take off for the metal detector

[@enfieldjohn101]

Good tips! I love those earplugs that reduce volume without blocking sound too much. I wear them any time that I'm in a noisy and/or crowded place now that I know about them. Oh yes! Being able to email or send a written message on a website is so much better than having to talk on the phone or in person. I'm not nonverbal, but I've always felt incredibly anxious, nervous and uncomfortable with talking to people. That Sunflower lanyard idea is interesting. Neat idea because I've wished that people could tell that I need help or need more personal space, etc. but I'm afraid to ask for what I need. Also, thanks for letting us know about the disability services at airports and that they are also available to people like us. Yes! I do use the family restrooms and other lockable bathrooms at airports and other places. Even if I don't need to use the bathroom, I sometimes find those rooms so helpful for stimming, closing my eyes and relaxing, talking to myself which has always helped me deal with stress and needing to focus. I really need to work on this positive self talk like you mentioned. I'm too hard on myself sometimes. I think next time I fly, I"m going to see if the airport will help me with disability services. Airports are a nightmare for me, especially security and the long lines. Yes, good points about wearing things on your face and especially wearing a hat. I have always loved wearing hats, even indoors in places that have very bright lights. The bill of the cap helps shade my eyes from those awful flickering florescent and too-bright LED lights. Sometimes, I even wear lightly tinted clip-on sunglasses over my glasses when I have a headache. I love Halloween and really small 'nerd' conventions like comic cons, gaming expos (I can't go to the really big, famous ones because the crowds are too big for me to enjoy myself) etc. because it's a time of year when its socially acceptable to wear a full-face mask or helmet. I love having that psychological protection from having to show my face to people. Sometimes, I wear a hoodie with the hood up if it isn't too hot for that. Thanks for this video! I love the way you present your videos too. You don't have loud, crazy music, don't yell or act crazy, sit too close to the camera etc. Very enjoyable for me to watch and listen to these.

[@manassrivastava1214]

Namaste🙏 I did autism diagnosis test your videos helps to understand autism symptoms thanks 💛from India🇮🇳

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh yay! Thanks so much for the feedback. Please let me know if you have any suggestions for future topics that may be helpful.

[@hellofromme3956]

I’m autistic and I have a love and dislike relationship with travelling. I love airports, but I get super anxious when they touch my stuff at the security. I really don’t like it when people touch my stuff, especially if I don’t know them. I also love airplanes, but the part when you go on the plane and come out makes me stressed. I don’t know why, but it does. And the worst part is the fact how small the plane is. I get so overwhelmed when someone has to sit next to me, it feels to much! That’s why I have to buy an extra seat!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing your experience!!

[@YourFriendAyana]

I needed this. I’m also 32 and I haven’t flow since our honeymoon in 2011. It was my first time flying and I was so sick. We now have a 13 month old and a few trips coming up that I’m stressed about.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

i hope you will find freedom to go at your own pace and make accommodations when necessary. even the small accommodations really add up! you've got this.

[@bryanmerton5153]

Great video! As you know I work on a plane, the strange part is that when I travel as a passenger its so different for me. When working I find the engine noise to be very comforting , almost like white noise. I also find conversation with passengers fine. Sure I can’t read them but it seems to work out well. When I am traveling as a passenger I have anxiety and stress. I don’t like being crowded in the seats and usually don’t talk with my seat mate😂. Your packing tips are great! I agree that its best to bring the least possible stuff with you. I am glad that you are finding stimming easier in public. I have always stimmed but it used to be sort like an evil secret. Now I stim when I need to. And yes hand flapping is a favorite😀. Sometimes you just need to flap!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Haha the “evil secret” part made me laugh. Picturing a Despicable Me - esque villain who flaps in secret while laughing maniacally. So interesting about the different experiences you have when flying for work vs personal reasons. I wonder if it has anything to do with you wanting to follow the rules of your job and having a specific framework/script for how to interact with other passengers? Interesting for sure!

[@KiraAfter_Dark]

My mom is the same way. She was a flight attendant for almost 30 years, but as a passenger is a very anxious flyer. Just a complete 180 from when she was on planes working vs as a passenger.

[@bryanmerton5153]

@@KiraAfter_Dark That is so cool to hear there is another like me😀

[@Dshirt1]

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders when I was 59

[@nathanjw940]

TSA CARE'S you can have a TSA agent meet you and help you through security. Avoiding the pat down and someone that can give you the time to go through security.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for this information

[@badmonkeyking]

first thing i do when I fly is to let the Flight crew know about my special needs, second thing i do i wear a onsie it help with the feeling of over sensory overload. nd bring some humor my pokemon onsie have even gotten me better seating nd pictures with the flight crew

[@emmaberger3748]

This is extremely helpful!!!

[@kalypsodeepsea982]

I am so used to travelling, by now. I grew up travelling around the world, and taking long flights. I have learned that planning is really important. I also find that getting a piece of clothing with a smell you like on it helps. And also, show up in advance, so you avoid crowds. And finally, bring an extra pair of underwear in your carry on. In case you lose your suitcase. 🌏

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great tips! Thanks for sharing.

[@courtneyczarniak6594]

Your channel is everything I need to know. Thank you SO much. You help me understand things I’ve been trying to make sense of for years. Your information makes me feel seen and validated for the first time in my life. I am so grateful for you as a resource for adult autism.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome. 🙏🏼 thank you for taking the time to leave a kind comment.

[@kristinabartholomew8894]

Just food for thought, please don’t occupy the handicap stall unless you have a device that makes you NEED it. I’m unable to fit into small stalls because of my Walker and service dog. It’s extremely frustrating to walk in and desperately need to use the bathroom only to see someone occupying the handicap stall when they don’t have any medical equipment with them. Love your videos :)

[@515aleon]

I think that she is talking re: Family Bathrooms. A lot of airports have multiples and my understanding is say someone uncomfortable in a regular bathroom can use. I usually gear that to how busy it might be. I'm trans and feel unsafe sometimes, for instance. But the handicapped stall that's a no no, unless the ONLY stall.

[@kelseysmith3297]

Done two big trips this year. One to the UK from South Africa which involved a quarantine hotel and one to South Africa from the UK and back (had to sort out some stuff in SA as I left in a hurry). And the first trip I acknowledged it was big daunting, scary and intense (my first time travelling internationally and it was alone at the height of a pandemic). And it wasn't seamless but I didn't have massive headaches and feel shattered the moment I got to their airport. The second trip I was like well I've done this before it's easy. Don't overthink it. It was hell. I was trying to squash my emotions thoughts and feelings down and it hurt me exponentially. And literally your voice point of this video helped highlight why this happened. It's a really handy way to realise how much I mask and how much it hurts me. Literally.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Goodness sounds like a very stressful experience! I’m glad you learned more about yourself in the process and hope you took plenty of time to recover!

[@515aleon]

Super informative/helpful. I've watched a number of these and this is very very good. TSA cares has a program and is accepting of hidden "disabilities". You don't need "proof". (not available at all airports) My favorite place on the plane is the window seat. It gives you one side where you can just look at clouds (not good all the time, say at night). I use earplanes--they help with pressure (but found another brand--called Alpine brand and they are more comfortable). I also like finding a window in the airport and just watching a plane get serviced. I do use family restrooms. Also I'm trans so sometimes just feel unsafe in either as I don't pass well.

[@KiraAfter_Dark]

For me I just need two things to be fine flying. Video games, when I was little it was my Gameboy and now its my Switch, and my noise cancelling headphones. I don't mind the airplane engine, its kind of a soothing white noise for me, but I don't like hearing the people. Video games is just cause I love video games. Airplanes is actually something I love. First time I flew I was two weeks old, my mom's a flight attendant and dad's a pilot. I went through Air Cadets and got my glider license at 16 and private pilot license at 17, my brother did the same and he's a commercial pilot now, while I went into video games. I do still get anxious sometimes, but airplanes is weirdly something familiar and comforting for me. Not comfortable, since airplanes are far from comfortable, but familiar for sure. My packing tip, roll your clothes, don't fold them. You can fit a whole lot more. I'm used to traveling carry on only, usually even just a backpack, and you can fit a lot of clothes in there! If you don't need to check a bag its much better to not, just incase something gets lost. Oh wine reminded me of something! Careful drinking before a flight. Alcohol level increases as air pressure decreases, and when the cabin is pressurized at ~8000 feet, the effects of alcohol is roughly doubled. So 1 glass has the effect of 2 glasses. My mom has stories of people getting on the plane drunk and passing out as they climb because it got them more and more drunk. Just something to be aware of!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh my gosh so interesting to know that about alcohol!! Good thing I only had one glass!! Thanks for sharing your experience here.

[@vivianstewart7523]

That might explain the bad behavior of some of the passengers lately.

[@515aleon]

I have an iPad and find playing games very relaxing. Also changes the focus from how uncomfortable you are. I like puzzle games versus Shoot em ups etc. I heard some people like to play airplane simulators.

[@courtneyczarniak6594]

Thanks!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thank you! 💓

[@AjJoans]

I'm 13 traveling for the first time on my own and I'm on the spectrum. I'm very excited to experience an airport without masking but I'm also scared. Hopefully I use all your types

[@bluewrenbirdie]

Some airports are starting to add special assistance security lines for hidden disabilities without having to prebook assistance. At London Gatwick (my local airport) they have a fully separate area including an airside lounge which is amazing but I did notice a sunflower lane at TSA in Orlando airport when I was in the US last year which I think is fairly new. So hopefully this is something that will be extended across US airports.

[@515aleon]

There's a program called (unlikely though it sounds) TSA Cares. Not at all airports. Might be helpful. You don't need documentation.

[@elysebuehrer5981]

I was looking for a video exactly like this! I may have to fly for the first time in my life in a few months and I am low-key scared. Even a day trip in a car can send me into sensory overload, so how will I handle flying? This resource will help me mentally prepare. Thank you so much.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome! I'm glad to hear it was helpful to you.

[@SelectiveMemories]

Great stuff. Please be mindful of the oils though. For instance, peppermint triggers migraines for me. If my seat mate busted out that and I had to smell it for hours, I would be miserable.

[@sharpcanines3347]

Holy cow, I do that bunkering down against the window seat wall. Earplugs, eyemask, and blanket over my head, on planes and ferries ⛴ lol 😂 I might need to go get an autism dx

[@stevenbigbee1766]

Sure, an experience for some. And validated by some. So the post has value for those some. If I have met one Autistic I have met one Autistic. My self Autistic . Enjoy friends, family also autistic. And all of us enjoy airports and flying. This is how all encompassing of a population narratives start and grow. Just saying we all need to be cautious how we share our autistic ecperience. Ours is not everyones.

[@plushking6490]

15:58

[@strictnonconformist7369]

I have asthma with many allergies and chemical sensitivities and even things that may be supposedly "safe" can cause me to go into an asthma attack. I have hyposensitive sense of smell, but sometimes I can still detect via my nose (I think, I may be tasting) and sadly, there's nothing I can detect that has ever been pleasant. Colognes and perfumes are meant to be smelled, and they cause me major problems. I don't test such things as essential oils or anything else because of how sensitive I am. I even have problems with laundry detergent and fabric softener, especially when they try to smell nice.

[@DivineLightPaladin]

Natural EOs shouldn't be a problem, it's usually the strong artificial plastic fragrances that flare it up, from a fellow sufferer

[@sunflower-im7lo]

I think it is harder for persons with moderate to severe autism

[@777Nona]

I’m watching all kinds of videos about traveling alone and stuff I’m 29 and going across the country alone to see my BF I won’t be able to take my daughter with me 😐😭I got bad social anxiety what if I freak out or get lost when I panic..going to Denver and Chicago airports OMG

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you've got this!

[@777Nona]

@@MomontheSpectrum aww thank you❤️