Autism and Memory - How does your memory work?

[@LittleBallOfPurr]

Unfortunately, my brain has an anti-spam feature on people's names.

[@ambcook]

me too

[@David-jq7uw]

same. I seem to only remember a person's name after I've interacted with them regularly for a while or made a strong effort to commit the name to memory.

[@isray89]

SAME. I'll remember all these details about them, but not be able to match all the facts to a name.

[@loverainthunder]

Same.

[@o0OMouseO0o]

Yup, and then when you explain it people go 'Yea I have that problem' and they dont understand you literally remember no names even ones that have been shouted at you 10 seconds ago.

[@neilnetman3138]

The thing that annoys me most is when I'm trying to explain something to someone and I know a specific word I want to use right up to the moment I want to say it. Gone. I had it a split second before I was going to say it and it's gone.

[@fdagpigj]

I have this as well, except that I usually just know that I know the perfect word for the situation, but I cannot remember it even before I have to actually say it, or write it down for that matter.

[@stephenhookings1985]

@@fdagpigj so write prompts and use that. Allow yourself the time to practice, don't get anxious that the word is gone - move on to the next parts then revisit and likely the phrase pops out. Sure not useful for dynamic conversation - but I'd you are Asperger's how many real conversations are you having? - I get into monologue - reminding people to tell me to shut the ++++ up is helpful. The worst part is folks don't want the details - but when you don't give it them those are the things that trip them up. Mind maps work well too. Best of luck - for me it is too many words clashing at once. I said in another reply that learning another language helped - I don't have so many alternatives so the flow is easier and clearer (plus slower).

[@darbydelane4588]

Word retrieval is a big issue in autism.

[@reggiep75]

@@darbydelane4588 - THIS... THIS is the perfect phrase I have looked for to try and get people to understand my issues with recollection and why my head is fried one day and perfect the next. Bad sleep, epilepsy and medication issues don't help either tho 😂.. I'm off to write this down before I forget it.

[@darbydelane4588]

@@reggiep75 Do it, Reggie! You deserve to be understood!💪🏽💕

[@TheWhitePhoenix1]

My memory is like a set of scales that is weighed down on one side. I absorb information on special interests and specific areas to a near photographic level. I work in a warehouse and can usually locate items incredibly fast yet if you give me a series of instructions to follow I'm useless and need to write them down, I forget names, have face blindness struggle to remember certain numbers and are just useless with any sort of verbal instructions that take me out of my comfort zone.

[@themoroccan369]

The same for me

[@virglibrsaglove]

Me, too! Especially face blindness! I've never heard it said that way. I can't see faces at all in my mind. I can remember a photograph, but not a face I see in person. My dad is that way, too. When I meet someone who I like I flat out tell them that I won't recognize them if I see them again unless they say something to me. Then I'll know their voice. I've had people test that only to find out that I wasn't kidding. I really didn't recognize them. I didn't know it was common enough to have a name. Is that a common autistic thing? Face blindness?

[@TheWhitePhoenix1]

@@virglibrsaglove face blindness is definitely a thing and there are different degrees, I'd say yours is more severe than most. Mine is like I will sometimes be unsure if it's the same person and maybe they changed their hair or something or maybe that's someone who looks similar. I'd say it's a comorbidity.

[@virglibrsaglove]

@@TheWhitePhoenix1 Wow! That's so interesting! At least I know I'm not as uncommon in it as I thought. I can recognize things like unusual glasses, or certain cloths, the way a person walks, their voice. I eventually learn to recognize people. But I can know a person for years and not be able to see there face in my mind.

[@DevonExplorer]

Exactly the same for me too, apart from the fact that the face blindness isn't so bad as some have. I can usually recognise most people but can't visualise them in my mind - almost but like a very out of focus photo - and if someone changes their hairstyle or starts wearing specs then I can't recognise them at all until they speak. A funny thing sometimes is that I can't recognise someone and yet know that I should know them. I'll puzzle over it for days then a week or two later I suddenly remember who they are, lol.

[@BeatlesBiitch]

I call this password protected memories! Because I need the right key term or password to access the memory--or a whole monkey chain of memories. This whole video was so relatable! I often come across either very knowledgeable or completely incompetent depending on how my recall is functioning in the moment.

[@Torby4096]

And once I think of it I MUST say it!

[@frankmariani1259]

Stuff that I'll know that I'll forget, I'll make a password to help remember it. The trick is to use a simple enough password that still somehow connects to the subject to remember. Keep it simple stupid. Sometimes a picture in your mind can be a password. ; - )

[@adapederson6159]

Yes.... incompetence is usually my reputation 😂😂😭😭

[@prapanthebachelorette6803]

I think this one resonated most with me

[@lucasreboucas8123]

How many times when I'm going out, I closed my goddamn door and a few steps later I just can't remember if I locked the goddamn door or not.

[@fdagpigj]

Every time I leave my apartment I have to check, I have my keys, everything else is secondary, although I also have to go through in my mind that I brought everything else I need too and have appropriate clothing and did everything I had to do, but usually I'm still a bit unsure.

[@reggiep75]

I have a logistical system to ensure I remember closing my door, but at one time I used to force myself to go back and check it as double checking was better than no checking. I think it's that inherent self doubt that made me do that until I mentally trained myself to adhere to a small but regular set of instructions, the smaller the better, and now I rarely forget to lock my door now.

[@then3995]

I have the same problem, due to a complete lack of episodic memory (probably related to my aphantasia). What helps me with that is transferring the information into semantic memory simply by mentally telling myself (as in, actually putting into words) "I locked the door".

[@Gerwulf97]

Omg yes.

[@bulldog6369]

Me too i go back and check or i keep thinking i left it open or unlocked I have called neighbors to check for me.

[@jordinburch9466]

Not sure if I’m autistic cause my parents don’t “believe” in it, (24 f), but my memory is absolutely horrible. There are YEARS from my childhood that I don’t remember, I’ve heard stories about myself that I don’t have any recollection of. Throughout childhood I could never remember small (but important) things. Like my entire backpack would get left at home atleast once a week while I was in school. As I get older, it’s other things. I could have a physical list with me at the grocery store, all things to get spaghetti, but forget atleast two items on my list every time I leave the house. Or last summer I left my drink on top of my car almost EVERY time I went anywhere. It legitimately pisses people off. I do really well when I’m repetitive, but also tend to repeat bad habits. And always wondered why I did these things....

[@lucasreboucas8123]

I truly don't understand why you can't be sure of something that you are because of some other people opinion, even if they are your parents, you are the one whos living your experiences and emotions, not them. I belive that if you r here, you're probably doing some research on this subject and sooner or later you will have the answer if you're autistic or not.

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

I have the same issue with my parents not believing in any sort of "disorders" at all. I am here researching for a reason also though.

[@lauram7803]

It isn't any better if they knew something was off but never did anything about it

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

@@lauram7803 yeah. That's what I don't want to do with my daughter.

[@lauram7803]

@@DeborahAnnsuperversatile So in the last year, we've found out that my family knew something was not right with me and my partners family had a diagnosis for him but never told. So you spend your life wondering why people avoid you or that you can't remember things, etc. An explanation would have been better.

[@francesbaker7233]

Often I interrupt others because if I don't say what is in my mind immediately and I get an input from someone/something else, it has gone. Very frustrating. And yet I have an excellent visual memory and I'm a 'super-recogniser'.

[@darbydelane4588]

Yep. Me, too.

[@virglibrsaglove]

I knew someone like that. His constantly talking over me caused me to forget my own thoughts. By the time he finally stopped long enough for me to speak, my own eloquent thoughts that should have been expressed were gone. I ended up sounding like a complete dolt. And not enjoying the conversations at all. I told him that in talking over me he was basically replacing my part of the conversation with his own. And that if he continued that way I would simply shut down and stop trying to talk to him at all. Being on the receiving end of his speaking style was miserable. We ended up not being friends for very long.

[@cogit8able]

I blew the researcher away on that one. That’s the faces test isn’t it.

[@francesbaker7233]

@@cogit8able Yes that's right. I also did a test on guitar fronts.

[@danyelPitmon]

I do the same thing so much to my embarrassment of interrupting people but if I don’t do the same thing I will forget what I am thinking at that moment and I hate being rude but I just have to get it out before I forget

[@Astro-Markus]

I am awful at remembering names. Even a few seconds after being introduced, names are usually gone. Possibly, I focus too much on the situation itself. Very embarrassing. Or maybe the person isn't interesting or relevant enough?

[@GnuReligion]

Also have this problem. A little social anxiety, and I immediately forget people who have just been introduced, or even people I see all the time. First day at a new job or school is the worst. I like to SEE a list of names, so they can be committed to memory.

[@anthonymorris6312]

I write names down as soon as possible. Helps a lot for me. I decided to do that once and continue to make a point of learning names. I like to call people by their name when I see them again. Helps to reinforce the memory.

[@anthonymorris6312]

@@GnuReligion I love when people wear name badges. Sometimes I resort to asking someone else if I can't remember it.

[@freddyberg7281]

I have exactly the same problem. It seems that all information that's not based on logic, like names, dates, phone numbers, etc., just won't stick.

[@TheTallGirl]

Oh names, that goes in one ear and out the other

[@Dustyonelife]

Ah, bingo, this makes so much sense to me. My mind is a warehouse. I have to drive a forklift to search out the information, which I have chunked into like/similar knowledge (i.e. chili and pepper), and then the trouble comes when I have to work to find where is it stored...the search can be long and arduous. When I find the storage compartment, it opens pandora's box. The flow is so real. The stoppage of flow is painful. ONLINE or OFFLINE. On-point and then another day off point wow, yes! Thanks, great. Like a completely different person. Also, depends on what language I am working with as well as settings and areas of expertise. When I am tired, usually afternoons, I have porridge brain. Simple tasks are challenging..

[@wolframstahl1263]

Porridge brain is such a great term! I've got somewhat of a warehouse as well, but I've got a few bargain bins near the entrance I can usually rummage through to come up with something. The pandora's box and subsequent high flow-rate information spray is quite managable in my case, but close enough to relate to the feeling. Jamming the plug back in once the flood gates are open can be quite a bit of work!

[@MrAtheistQueen]

I can remember details about a conversation, such as where people were sitting, who said what, etc. In fact, when I'm trying to remember what someone says I often think about when I heard it, who said it, where I was, what they were wearing, etc. If I can't remember the situation, it's as if it didn't happen in my mind. So, people can ask me about something, and if I have no memory that can pin the answer to a visual representation in my mind, I have a hard time answering.

[@justjust8953]

@Sun Flower that is smart!

[@rickstark2963]

I remember everything and every detail. The trouble is, I always remember what someone said or did, better than they do. -That's a great disadvantage at work. Especially with your boss.

[@cthornton523]

Omg SAME! Nice to meet you, kindred spirit. 💖

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

Same! When I listen to podcasts for example I can remember where I was or what I was doing. If I repeat that activity in the same spot I will remember where I was in the podcast that I was listening to and what was being said! Absolutely useless take up of precious memory space for me because it serves no purpose

[@no_peace]

I might have a whole memory somewhere but it's not attached to anything so i won't remember it happened at all unless someone or something reminds me Like even if someone said "have you ever had an experience where...?" I wouldn't be able to think of anything. But if they said "remember when we did x and saw y?" I might be like YEAH! even though it's a perfect example for the question

[@Astro-Markus]

When I am in a flow, I function extremely well. But I lose track of time and can easily miss appointments. During the flow, my brain seems to be on autopilot. I frequently experience this during public talks. I can literally watch myself pulling up complete lines of thoughts while speaking and simultaneously formulating them in more or less coherent sentences. No idea, where this comes from. Yes, you can picture it like a chain of monkeys being attached to each other. This is really fun. But in other situations, I might be quite useless, because the fountain in my brain seems to be drained. See? More interesting metaphors.

[@rickstark2963]

I go on auto pilot where I do everyday, ordinary things: like brushing my teeth. So much so, that it has to be at the exact same time, same day, in the same way. When I do bigger things (like write a complex computer program), I get lost in it, and don't even hear people talking to me, or see them.

[@magnuscritikaleak5045]

Yup me too man

[@delphinewood7519]

Well put!

[@joeyvaughn2265]

You’ve just explained me, probably better than I could. I am diagnosed adhd, and believe I believe that I’m also Aspie. I have struggled for years to come up with the Illustration or some type of metaphor to describe how I am able to soak in all this information to only find that when I need it most I draw a blank. I am the guy that you ‘ do not depend on’ or can’t be trusted with certain certain objects. It’s come to the point that they have to write reminders for me on the white board in our conference room.

[@dighyfveirfuveifbuv4420]

When I went for my assessment ,they told me that i was on the spectrum but not to worry about it because it's actually fairly common and I should seek an ADHD diagnosis instead. So I did but that diagnosis didn't address my social difficulties which is why I went to see them in the first place . So I did some research and identifed my problems as an ASD for myself and now I feel such a relief learning a bit about why I'm always on the outside of social situations . Through learning about myself , im better able to accept my lot and work with what I've got instead of focusing on my social failures and fighting the losing battle . Not knowing what was wrong with me almost destroyed my life . I wish they'd had something official for me as a kid instead of the speculation . It could all have been so different . It's been a fucking disaster tbh but it's good now .

[@justjust8953]

I describe it as long term vs short term memory. I know the information is there, but I can’t retrieve it quickly

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

At least they are willing to make that adjustment for you.

[@mawar_kasturi]

@@dighyfveirfuveifbuv4420 Glad to hear that you are okay. I feel the exact same way. Now I'm just planning if I ever have a kid on the spectrum or have any other disorders so that I can detect it as early as possible.

[@tomchamberlain4329]

My memory used to be really good in an autistic way when I was a kid, as in I would remember names, details, numbers etc precisely. Or at least I thought I did. I was pretty terrible at English, Maths etc, all the school work where you learn by listening, reading or by rote. I think the difference was engagement, I'd remember perfectly details about something I cared about, or something I'd created, drawn, imagined etc. But information in language form, passed to me, not generated in my brain, was harder to process. I've got much worse as an adult lol. Think it's just getting old! I But I can be very good at learning by involvement, i.e. doing, making mistakes and learning from them, feeling, touching, hearing, trying, immersing. But trying to express ideas to people or communicate while working while I'm in that mode is almost impossible. They won't understand me most of the time. I have Aspergers. It's classic.

[@Daisy-dp2ez]

I'm the same though i always struggled in school. When my mum would read me bedtime stories i could recite the last few pages of the chapter back to her the following night.

[@Amy-pj1zl]

My mind is like a Web or huge mindmap.. once someone mentions a concept or I see a particular phrase or topic in my environment, and I would immediately have a range of flowing thoughts like a mindmap spreading at 5x speed and all I can think or ramble about for the next 10 minutes is information related to that topic.

[@tomchamberlain4329]

@@Amy-pj1zl I only get that or something like that, if the subject really grips me, emotionally or it relates to some feeling or physical sensation I want more of. Otherwise y brain is so indisciplined I'll have thought about 800 different things in the timeframe you mentioned

[@isaacw1689]

I liked your description of sometimes having to speak really quickly to not lose the flow of thoughts that are getting you to where you are going, sometimes this happens to me, sometimes they literally come too fast to articulate, I will tell someone 'hold on' say like a dozen words which to them seem completely unrelated, but which are just things I can use as markers for myself like stepping stones to get where I am going, like if the alphabet came through my head so quickly that I say 'A, F, L, T, Z' then say what I was trying to get to. It often happens when I have an epiphany when I am talking about something I am excited about, but afterward I sort of reconstruct the thought for whoever I am talking to. I usually then get a 'how on earth did you get from what you were saying before to what you just explained?!' Usually if I ask whether they really want me to try to reconstruct the path rather than just the final thought they suddenly lose interest in further explanation, but I did once explain to my wife the 'tangential cascade' and she sort of stared like she wasn't sure whether I am more brilliant or more mad.

[@OliverBatchelor]

I never saw this as autism related, but this is just my memory in a nutshell. The variability kind of sucks, it's the whole "stupid smart person" thing. In areas where I'm quite competent if you put me under pressure I will often crumble. Just like playing chess if I could handle the time pressure I'd be rated 200 points higher!

[@laitarianplayz8080]

Nah

[@cynamonstudio]

Jesus. Since my two kids have been diagnosed with Aspergers it is time for me. AntiSpam memory? It is exactly my experience. Once I dont need certain information I just flush it. It could be a name of a town I visited last year or a name of a person I havent met for a while. And it has always been this way.

[@josephmartin1540]

So much this that I can't even think of how to respond! And there are the times of remembering everything at once and becoming confused, then shutting down completely... it is as if my brain needs a teleprompter.

[@beneaththefells]

Sometimes when I stop doing something or think about something different than what I was thinking about all of a sudden it feels like hours have passed and what I was doing/thinking feels like a foggy memory. Does this happen to anyone else?

[@OliverBatchelor]

Yes, context switching is hard...

[@stuartrushworth5487]

I have dyscalculia (an absence of numbers in my thinking) and I've just about given up on mathematics because of it. My long-term memory is very visual but my working memory cannot put sequences together, so following instructions is very hard for me. The course of my life has been very frustrating except for visual art, which I find is free from these barriers. I think that we ultimately have to search for those activities that are unaffected by the problems we have. A painting has no numbers in it and it relies on rules (or instructions) that are better off broken. In everyday life I make lists but I mostly rely on long and repeating music through earphones to provide a calm space. I also take a double daily dose of Vitamin B1. It does not aid memory, instead it reduces the mental anguish that memory gaps can cause. Autism and memory gaps is an odd combination because they are both absences. Generally I enjoy the present much more as I get older and I find the past is really a gallery of occasions when I have helped others or created something that was successful or worked. The rest I leave to those that prefer crowds and noise and who live in a culture I have never really visited.

[@stuartrushworth5487]

@Sylphienne The visual memory is at the root of how I cope. When I try to remember a number though (I mean quickly) then it joins countless other possible numbers twirling around in my visual-mind that are slightly misted over. Where the correct number is, is beyond all searching for. I think all people who cope with these distortions in numbers or words or time-keeping have highly imaginative ways to navigate them. A visual memory is like living in a gallery.

[@BarryBazzawillWilliams]

I completely relate to this as a teacher I have been trying to slow down and leave pauses when I talk to a class; as someone with (I believe) and auditory processing disorder I know how important that is for my students. However this definitely disrupts my flow. I will get to a point when I am talking and I knew what I was going to say 10 seconds ago and then it's gone. Usually it will come back or I will have to figure out something to say but it certainly noticable to my class. I have also had the experience of trying to remember a place and not having the right bait/search term

[@carol3662]

I follow you Paul as I have a19year old son Nathan who has Asperger's. Nathan's memory is shocking and has always been that way. School was a complete nightmare as he would continually forget things. Over the years I have continued to encourage him to use his phone for prompts. He has literally just started to get things together. It has been very helpful to hear your take on it and read comments, as I know for sure, that it is part of his ASD and not him being lazy. It has generally been the opinion of other family members that Nathan has always expected others to do things for him and used his Asperger's as an excuse, which, of course, I have always contested. Feels good to be vindicated, and it will give me great pleasure in sharing your video with them 😁

[@whizzywoo582]

Lol and the award for maximum use of mixed metaphors goes to Paul :D I wish my memory was consistent - I did have a very traumatic event when I was a young mum that made my memory a bit all or nothing. I can be doing some training at work, have prepared well and have lovely notes, but something will happen (like someone forgetting to mute their mic or something), it feels like I blink and it's all gone - who am I, what is my name and why am I here! The more tired and stressed I am the more likely this is to happen. I'm trying to learn how to gather my wits so I can get it back together again more calmly - my instant reaction is to get flustered and then the harder I try to grab that thought back the more determined it is to stay at my fingertips. I think I just hate to look so 'not together'.

[@veragasteiger6647]

This sounds so familiar, sometimes I go into rehearsal like an actor before I have to talk to someone - or make notes, altogether being happy, when it is over

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Yup. I relate to keeping kinda quick pace of thoughts, speaking, listening otherwise it’s gone ….

[@myholisticnurse7914]

Haha. Fishing for connected monkeys in a search engine! So funny, because its true! Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@ArderiLazuli]

My memory is definitely a little wonky. I have an example just from today. I had my nieces and nephews over for a few days and when they left they forgot their shoes. They were leaving to see their grandparents who live an hour away, so we decided to meet half way at 4:30 so I can bring them the shoes. At 3:45 I remember I have to go and say to myself, "I'll just work for another 5 min and then head out." Well, 4:30 rolled around and I had not left my house yet, and was only reminded I had somewhere to be because of the phone call I got asking if I was still coming. This fortunately does not happen as often as it used to and this is the first time in awhile it happened in a semi important moment. Last time it happened, I forgot to show up for the first day of my old job, of all things! Thankfully wasn't fired on the spot, but most people will tell me I forget because I didn't care enough, but that's the farthest thing from the truth. In fact, it shocks me every time something like this happens because of how much I hate to disappoint people. Now I set reminders like crazy and keep myself to a schedule that I like because it seems to help, but on days like this when the schedule is broken is when the forgetfulness is prone to happen 🤷‍♀️

[@mde6006]

This is 100-percent me me... I absolutely hate when people say you mustn't have wanted to do it then then, because like you, I never want to hurt people's feelings and it's very often on on places to have really want to get to that I tend to mess up so royally :-(

[@whosacleverbirdie]

Have you got any diagnoses? Just curious x

[@ChristophersMum]

Paul...I thank you very much for the encouragement that you have given me...just coming to terms with this at a late stage in my life.

[@GeenieCherrybomb]

Omg! This is described my memory precisely! I just thought everyone was like that.

[@stacygreene2104]

My memory is much like a fish net. Some things, it catches incredibly well, almost eidetic in most cases. Some things slip through like the water, retaining nothing of the ocean in which it was just immersed, save for maybe an occasional, and very rare, tiny bit of moisture clinging to the fibers of the net. People get so mad at me for forgetting things, and it happens so often, it's just become part of my identity. Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge and also for being articulate in a way that I could never hope to be.

[@victorhugotoledocofre1366]

I'm a 47 year old autistic and I vividly remember every single detail of anything that happened in my life since approx. age 2-3 onwards, including the right day of the week, the right date, month and year, and many times the exact hour of the day it happened. I've had to learn to restrain myself from going into too much detail when talking to, say my 6-year-older brother who's a neurotypical. He really gets disturbed about it, especially when it comes to unhappy shared memories in our lives that I start reminiscing out of the blue. A big challenge for me; because, obviously, I don't want to hurt his feelings.

[@GnuReligion]

Funny, I also have some specific memories from about age 3. Not exact dates like you though. I believe that normies more often have "adaptive" memories, where they recall things as they wished they were, reflecting favorably on themselves. My own memories might be described as "depressive realism."

[@tmorelli1982]

Same. Paul doesn't resonate in the slightest with me as an autistic

[@victorhugotoledocofre1366]

@@GnuReligion "Depressive realism." Loved that!! Borrowed.

[@GnuReligion]

@@victorhugotoledocofre1366 Well, I hardly invented it ... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism An odd truth about hue-manz, taught in Social Psychology: Mentally healthy folks with normal mimicry skills (human pack instincts) are not the most realistic.

[@dighyfveirfuveifbuv4420]

I always thought it was odd that people couldn't remember their childhood properly. I don't remember everything instantly but when I think back , it's like I'm there and I can bring the memory out and describe everything about it , the objects , the tastes and smells , the thoughts I was having when the memory was laid down . The things that were said . People are always saying how good my long term memory is but my short term memory is pretty bad. I don't remember dates but then I don't really follow them ; A product of the eternal now of my ADD mind , I suppose .

[@minksrule2196]

I have memories from when I was 3 years old, I even have one memory from when I was 2 but if I have a list of things to do or am given a list of instructions I will do one thing and then remember something else that I was planning to do and completely forget about everything else. I always get in trouble for not doing all my chores because I keep forgetting

[@drsandy842]

This so common to many diseases especially psychological ones. My son is own spectrum and I see this in him but I have PTSD and have symptoms don’t rely one thing for a diagnosis

[@David-jq7uw]

Thank you for sharing. I'm very happy to have found your channel. I've been working with medical professionals for more than 3 years now to find out why I've had so many problems with fatigue, depression, focus at work (open office environment for many years), and sporadic melties. I discovered your channel several months ago, and I am grateful for you sharing your experience. It has helped me to recontextualize many aspects of my life and given me a better direction to pursue with my doctors.

[@reggiep75]

There are times when I'm like the search engine that can't get the answer, terminology or name I need and a classic case of this in being able to see an actors face but my recollection of their name or the film in question is non-existent. So I have to go back thru other films I recall them being in, which other actors were in, what year and finally having went back 4-5 steps I can go forward with my newly furnished info and get the film I remember and with other actors, and yet I remember the movie logo, text and intro and yet the film name is like a broken mirror, in front of me, that I have to put back together. Needless to say Wikipedia and Internet Movie Database have been my saviour many a time when trying to recall a film to recommend to someone to watch and I've only watched the film 10-12 hrs ago 😂. I have to laugh otherwise I think I'd just cry. In other situations, I find it best to forget it and tell myself 'Forget this for now and relax and we'll remember it later!' Once I've defused the situation, I can remember it later but I think that's come from years long of mental training.

[@alexanderkennedy3736]

I have very few memories before age 6, and with each passing year I remember the past years less and less the further away it is in time

[@justjust8953]

Have you tried keeping a journal?

[@kissit012]

This is normal. Most adults lose mental capacity and memory with age

[@LegendoftheGalacticHero]

Story of my life, excellent video. I think i'll use it to explain this to near ones

[@acid-mask]

My memory is VERY visual. I remember things written not spoken - UNLESS I repeat. If someone brings up an adjacent topic it can establish a logical link to other memories I wouldn’t access otherwise

[@sashajoachims5840]

You described my memory eerily accurately, although my favorite analogy is that it is like a Rolodex with all the cards shuffled together, everything is in there but whether or not I retrieve the right card at the right time is a matter chance. Although lately it has been getting much worse, to the point I am losing the words for everyday common objects and names of people I interact with all the time. I don’t know if it’s burnout & will come back if I get over the burnout or if it’s aging but it’s pretty frustrating & depressing & making work pretty much impossible. I couldn’t figure out why I am having so much trouble speaking, writing and working. Thank you for your videos, I have struggled with what I assumed was depression & social anxiety and anger management all my life. I have masked without realizing what I was doing or what the consequences of that could be. Sometimes I felt bipolar and would get so mad & sad because I could tell something was wrong in my head but I didn’t know what. I joked about having ADHD/ADD and being on the spectrum and have some familiarity with non verbal/developmental disabled autistic characteristics but had no real understanding of how autism presents and progresses in verbal & intelligent adults, that it is different for women and can get worse with age. Your videos describe my life’s experiences so accurately it gives me chills, I thought I was the only freak that felt this way and that has to work this damn hard for every thing I have but it turns out I was completely right about being on the spectrum and probably should have looked into what that might mean actually mean a long time ago. Thanks to videos from you & a few other people I am 99% certain I am autistic and am having a severe episode of burnout from a lifetime of pushing myself so hard. I test well above the cut off at which 70-80% of autistics score on all the self tests I have taken so far. Life might have been a little easier if I had realized what my needs were and started taking care of myself a long time ago! Thank you so much for helping me see that I am not alone or crazy and that I don’t have to push myself so hard & it’s ok to do what I need to do to feel good, or at least not feel bad. Blessings, be well & many thanks!!

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

Thank you for helping me to explain what's going on in my brain. I realized I was autistic( I like to refer to myself as an autist) roughly 3.5 years ago. I'm learning how to streamline my thought variances into useful contributions and accepting the limitations in relationship settings. Your insights are invaluable and I feel you're giving the best real world information available. Please keep up the good work. For this video, I'm a watching jeopardy champion, yet can't remember my partner's appointments. Long comment short, you're doing great work

[@tennotsukai87]

Does anyone remember words mostly just by the first letter? This happens to me a lot...

[@tiddlypom2097]

Yes! ...and so I mix up street names that start with the same letter. Or my directions will be something like "...then go up ...um ... B.... road." ... "No that other B road"

[@OliverBatchelor]

@@tiddlypom2097 Yes, quite often I don't even pay any attention to the actual name either (because it didn't seem like an important piece of information)! Which makes describing it to someone else hard.

[@fogweaver5633]

I'll often remember the prefix or base of the word, and go fishing from there. What's really bad is when I mix languages. It was a 'land' word. Land...land...aus land...out land.... ..... foreigner! (Definite Aspie. My languages play well together.)

[@jedrashidul6952]

Me! But I read & memorize dictionaries for fun when I was a kid so maybe that's why

[@KryssLaBryn]

Yeah! Sometimes when I lose a word (usually nouns for some reason) I can manage to picture the item in my mind, and then sort of pull up the label that goes with it and "read" the label. It's really almost literally like actually seeing the word written down and reading it off my inner screen. But sometimes I just don't have the spoons for that (it takes a LOT of effort to force it out like that!) and I just end up saying something like "...you know. The cranky thing. Has a twisty handle. Opens cans. The whatchamacallit."

[@thankfullfortruth4964]

Thank you, Paul, your videos really come in handy for sharing with my very intuitive, neurotypical friend. You are gifted in sharing truth with dignity and clarity. Memories that are linked to emotional charges that are negative exhaust my energy. A good day is when they do not come to mind or I learn a new perspective that transforms my understanding, and can "let it go", consider it resolved. You are my Rock when you explain just what I experience. You see me😊🎈

[@yoinksscoob4889]

I have the stereotypical autistic memory, weirdly detailed haha, especially with special interests, however I also have hyperphantasia so that may help

[@cheerfulgirl8835]

Your explanations are ‘gold’ in understanding my son!! Thank you!!

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

I did not know that the memory being super good or super not good with extremes was an autism trait. I do that all the time. I go through a lot of phases. Thank you for pointing this out.

[@TheBaconWizard]

Is it weird that I regularly fail to remember proper names? I sometimes can't remember the names of my favourite band or its members, or an album title even though I can tell you how they wrote or performed it in detail. Or one of my favourite authors, who's books I love . I ALWAYS read the names of characters in a book wrong. sometimes I can't remember the name of people I know well. The list goes-on.

[@jaredbrooks7658]

This happens to me as well, constantly.

[@richardmattocks]

Same here. My memory for names is dreadful. If I hear it incorrectly the first time, no matter how many times I’m corrected I’ll always think it’s the version I heard first. I write lists all over the place to keep track of things.

[@TheWhitePhoenix1]

oh yeah names are like housemates in my brain, they're never at home the second I need them around. Leaving me look like an idiot fumbling around trying to remember and then the second the conversation moves on, there it is back in my brain.

[@lucasreboucas8123]

If I'm reading a book, I have to always coming back some paragraphs to remember who's that character. My memory for names is that bad.

[@Astro-Markus]

Yup. I can relate. I always feel like an idiot. Hey, my favourite artist is ... what's his/her name again?

[@moriontax]

Man, you hit it on the nail! I can say my memory is exactly like a filing cabinet that sometimes can be unorganized when I have too many files (or memories) to take care of/hold on to temporarily that everything gets cluttered and all of a sudden, my memory is shit and I'm triple backing over everything I do! It's exhausting when I get my NT co-workings crying to me and complaining at me for this!!! Worst part is they're too ignorant to be told different. I'm glad I heard my memory isn't shit for no reasons at least! Thanks man!

[@madao7865]

Sometimes when writing, I stop mid word and omit the rest of the sentence, while being absolutely convinced I finished the whole thing. So much for loosing your train of thought.

[@OrionFilms]

If one stops paying attention to metaphors, jokes, double meanings, tone and pitch of a person's voice, perspective changes in telling, stop responding and instead put all your attention just to the words of information the most literal it can be. (in any form - a video, in person or written) you’ll learn to process everything in Single-Threaded not Multi-Threaded. Overtime it will become easier recalling memories, knowledge, words, information and also for absorbing it. But a few things to consider. If you are autistic you’ll lose your masking abilities, at first you will have a mixed ways of speaking and writing, you'll say nonsense or talk like a dyslexic person so it will just feel odd because your memory system is weak. But after you train your memory enough it will be natural and you'll feel like a know it all, so your responses will be balanced and you’ll absorb and recall information in a way that suit an aspie as it's small details anyway. For recalling any kind of information try to explain it to others as talking to yourself For example "What did Albert Einstein did" Now talk it out to yourself... And see how much details you can recall about it See how much details you remembered and how much you don't remember about it You'd be able to see if there are memory holes and gaps or entire lack of knowledge about something. Then you can either expand knowledge or connect the dots or fill the gaps that you have about it. If you're autistic this process will be much easier for you Because your natural way of learning is by forming connections between facts and information so you can have deep knowledge about entire subjects. But for those who want to know how to do that manually here's how: For example after you recall things about Albert Einstein then ask about quantum physics - What are the biggest to the smallest particles in the word? Atoms, what is it made of? What can you do with Atoms? Nuclear weapons okay... What country was attacked by a nuclear weapon for the first time? Japan... in what year was it? What era, which war. Who participated in it... And that goes on and on forever. It's all about asking the right questions to recieve the right answers!

[@bethanywalker5346]

(Diagnosed on the spectrum a couple years ago) I once tried to recall the correct word for rear derailleur adjustment. I felt pressured to get it out of my mouth in under a minute and I felt like it would take the full minute to recall the word, so I said "twirly thing." It was more important to get the idea out then waste time getting the right word. My boss then looked at me and said "is this what I'm going to expect out of you back here in (bicycle) maintenance?" Yes... Yes it is.

[@kandihamble8800]

Aaaahhh! My memory is so spotty! I've had to start writing things down so I could remember when it's my turn. I like all of the analogies, they made complete sense.

[@ekoester862]

I am so pleased that you talked about experiencing a thought gap. I have had exactly that thing happen to me in classrooms for my entire life and never seen it happen to someone else or had it explained from someone else's perspective. At this point in my life it happens most often when I am trying to verbally navigate social emotional dynamics. If I can keep up with myself when I talk, I can often do it. I have memories and feelings and words inside me and I can find them and draw them to the surface to use for communication purposes - like a string of concepts. But sometimes I loose the string of thoughts or I pause, even sometimes to catch my breath, the bottom falls out. For me, the process of the bottom falling out can be like getting hit by an ocean wave. It is a thudding shock to my body and then I have a loss for words (to be able to speak them, to be able to actually understand someone else's, or both) most often combined with the sudden difficulty / loss of ability to move my body. The things that are most likely to help me recover are closing my eyes or letting go of sight focus, having the people around me look away from me, and (like when knocked over by a wave) working to let go of the need to get my "feet under me" and instead focus on relaxing my body. I also was so happy to hear you explain the autistic experience as "liking" living in the extremes. I have known that I live in a a body with unusual parameters since I was a small child, but it has been life changing for me to understand that I enjoy and prefer living in a self that experiences mostly extremes.

[@Barcreature]

Your analogy was amazing. I literally have conseptyalized the process of remembering things as a search engine - I tell people that I have sent the request and it will come to me in a bit. Because when I feel the memory is there - after a 'request' is sent, associations and 'related' things come at the back of my mind, closing in on the thing I am actually trying to remember. So your wording just hit home for me! Thank you :)))

[@xTobsecretx]

I’ve learned to say “It’ll come to me, let’s talk about the next thing while I remember”, let the search engine go do it’s thing on another thread in the background. I’ve also learned that simple arithmetics can take me quite long if I verify them or they can be fast (and a little more error prone) if I trust the numbers that come instinctively. Another thing that can help me accelerate my thinking is if I close my eyes - I think that’s why many of us Aspies tend to stare into the distance bc it’s more socially acceptable than outright closing your eyes. I also find that one of the niche things my memory is surprisingly good at is unraveling unknown acronyms.

[@TheDjbutta]

Absolutely hilarious maybe accidental advertisement interruption right as he was talking about not interrupting his stream of thought dialogue in order to not lose track of his thoughts! Love these videos helping me a lot

[@BullScrapPracEff]

I've always explained my memory as fly paper. Things will stick, but I have no control over what will. Grandparent phone number, I've got that even though they've all been dead for decades. Work ID number from 20 years ago? Yep right there. Plot from a book I read when I was 12? Yep. What I did this morning? No clue. I can extrapolate from my habitual nature but...nope. An appointment I made for sometime in the future, not a chance. Flypaper catches every speck of dust, fluttering insect, blowing leaf; but flies not so much.

[@craigsetf]

Your description is fascinating. I'm undiagnosed, but I've wrestled with my focus my whole life and its effects on my ability to recall information. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. Just depends on what my attention gets stuck on. Throughout my life I've managed my memory by learning through association. By connecting new information to old memories, new information isn't stored as separately defined memories. Instead I'm just updating old memories. Connecting all memories together, almost as one big memory, story, or filing cabinet. When I recall things related to what I'm engaged in, I typically already have the relevant memories available in the moment. But that changes as my focus is grabbed. I lose my train of thought from time to time where I'll go from describing quantum mechanics in detail and then forget what I'm talking about mid sentence completely. 😂 Feels almost like a subconscious part of me is controlling my attention and, as a result, which memories are the most salient in the moment. I've learned to mostly control my obsessive tendencies but it's just frustrating when I lose control. Especially because I'm often really interested in what switches my focus as well. It can make it hard to stay focused on 1 thing when working for long periods. Although that part is probably true for most people. A weird practice I'm still experimenting with is working on at least 2 projects at a time. Whatever they are, I find you must be genuinely interested in both or it won't work. Whatever the project may be, work on it and have your secondary project ready and in the back of your mind. If your focus drifts it will most likely drift to the other project in the back of your head rather than something random and less productive. This usually leads to me flipping back and forth between the 2 projects and helps keep me from getting side tracked after only working for an hour or 2.

[@psalm275]

Thank you so much, Paul. My life finally makes sense to me. You explain things so well, and I love how comfortable you are with who you are. You have given me so much hope. God bless you.

[@galamander_1327]

I bring lists of topics for work meetings, friend hangouts, learning sessions, you name it. Some NTs get freaked out by the mere fact I have a list. (Why, though?) If I don't come with a list, I won't remember much at all until everything is over. I also jot down questions before I raise my hand.

[@cherylfairbank]

Thank you so much! This is spot on for me. Executive function that is lightening fast on all cylinders does reverse when brain register hits “utter overwhelm”. Too much sensory input causes interruptions in the brain circuitry- then, comes the semi and/or full blown meltdown.

[@dcarbs2979]

I always tend to remember how many things I need (e.g. items on a shopping list, things to do today), but forget what one or some are, so I will know how many I have forgotten, but not what. Other times, if things are in sequence (one that makes sense to me but not necessary by any logic), then pretty much everything gets remembered to some degree and that can be true for thousands of items (e.g. a stock inventory), I can remember at least one fact about literally thousands of items (e.g. title, where it is stocked, how many in stock, changes since I last saw it). If someone does something to disrupt that sequencial thought pattern, then any new material that needs to be remembered, doesn't get remembered. Almost no new information is absorbed, but the old memories of the previous state remain.

[@oaschbeidl]

I'll preface this by saying I'm not officially diagnosed and the possibility that I might be on the autistic spectrum just occured to me very recently, but I've been binge watching a lot of your videos and other ressources and I can identify with many of the common struggles. My memory is always a wild card. My brain will randomly play a song from a commercial that I've heard once 20 years ago and it'll be a perfect representation. When I'm asked to come up with an explanation for some phenomenon or a solution to a problem, I can usually immediately make a pretty educated guess or come up with a solution that's often spot on and draws from a vast pool of general knowledge. On the other hand, I almost immediately forget names, appointments (have to write those down immediately or they're gone), I have almost no concrete memories of my childhood and teenage years (although the last couple years, I'm getting more and more of them back that I didn't know I still carried in me). At times I can immediately tell you some really obscure and complicated facts but I really struggle if you ask me what I did 2 days ago. As a kid I lost my stuff all the time because I just forgot I had it with me (umbrellas, jackets, etc were a big one). I wouldn't remember a single appointment if it wasn't for my calender. Generally, I don't remember situations well, I tend to just remember the lessons I've learned from them but I might not know where a piece of information or knowledge actually comes from and thus it can be hard to actually trust that information.

[@reggiep75]

My mind is an odd one.. It's like a nuclear waste flask for some things (literally nothing is getting out or forgotten) and it's like a sieve for other things. I went thru a phase of writing down nearly everything what I did during various phases of time out of fearing I'd forget things but it was largely during periods of unemployment and didn't have a lot of things to fill my time. I also have an issue with deciding what I need to remember and what to forget as I'm not really sure the importance of things at times, hence the reason I hoard too much stuff I should forget or throw away.

[@stephenhookings1985]

@John O Kelly Is it because you get to learn all you want about that job then get bored and want a new challenge? Or because one day a random voiced thought is considered too radical and you sort of have to leave? I have been fortunate in early career to appear NT and work in science and technology so was given free reign to create. So each day was different. When I moved into software I was surprised at the requirements were not so demanding - just the underestimate of where things would go wrong - but I was ok at fixing other people's errors. I work in software security now - looking at abuse cases and that is super open ended - just right for adding variety. Sure the stuff I say has often got me into trouble - but once people realise you are not trying to be offensive - just brutally honest - especially if you are calmly sorting out a crisis then you get a little bit of slack. Hoping you find something that interests you and give you variety.

[@stephenhookings1985]

@John O Kelly software security might be interesting - determine how someone is going to steal you assets and working out how to thwart them (or catch them in a trap and contain them) is something that constantly changes. Difficult to get bored of that. Just a thought.

[@reggiep75]

@John O Kelly - It's quite possible that you could overload having learnt a lot in a job, at that accelerated rate we are subject to, and your interest in it a job goes from 100% to 0% in no time. I'm fortunate to have a friend diagnosed with autism a few years ago, to compare notes with (as I'm in the early stages of an official assessment after a long period of self-assessment), who is a 0% or 100% person and his interest in some jobs and hobbies spiked and waned. He works in technology these days and thankfully he enjoys it as there's enough variation to keep him interested and his capacity to remember all manner of IP addresses, long server passwords, focus deeply on mundane tasks, offer innovative solutions and other things is quite handy. As for my line of work, I initially did graphic design that gave me a lot of variable jobs to work on and not get bored or lose interest. Later on I did print finishing that encompassed 4-6 different jobs on a regular basis. Ironically, I didn't leave my last job, I was just made redundant and without the routine there, I'm lost and the mental chaos starts to boil and issues arise. Tech jobs are favourable jobs for autistic types but some really have to be able to tune in to mundane work or opt for jobs with scope for innovation to keep you interested.

[@elizabethf8078]

Happens **ALL THE TIME**!!!! My brain is like the filing cabinet that belongs to Radar O'Reilly...The filing system isn't alphabetical, it's relational. So glad to meet another person who speaks in images/metaphors. Sometimes it's brilliant...occasionally it sucks monkey toes. Any distraction (especially self doubt) makes the information chain crumble.

[@fogweaver5633]

Radar's filing cabinet, plus all its cousins. I think it's a 13x13x13 array, but I can never see the whole thing at the same time. Entropy increases along the x, y, and z axes. No telling what will end up in cabinet 13, 13, 13. I think it's currently occupied by the Flying Spaghetti Monster and assorted cryptids.

[@lukeoldfield7940]

This was really good and highly relatable. My memory focus is exactly like this - either razor sharp with streams of information at my finger tips or it goes completely blank - I particularly liked the part about the stream of consciousness being interrupted meaning you lose all flow of information. It is almost like you have to go back and start from scratch to re-formulate the whole idea of what you wanted to convey again?

[@reggyreptinall9598]

Your a legend, glad to see your still doing well and still putting out wonderful content.

[@dieferman]

Hey, first of all, thanks for all the great info you have put out on your videos... I just autodiagnose around a month ago. I'm 47 and I do feel relieved seeing how all those things I have experience throughout life do have an explanation. I do feel identify with your way of explaining how your memory works. I been criticized since early age for speaking too fast, so throughout the years I've been masking it... But it is difficult to slow down when your brain is running so fast. I have always write too slow and just tell people that while I write a word, I can speak 100 words. And while I say a word I have thought of 100 words. That's why I don't even take notes. I've rather pay attention to what someone explains to me, interpreted, related to previous knowledge and store in a nifty way that info so I can easily recall the idea later whenever I needed.

[@delphinewood7519]

Your videos help me understand myself. I bet you wish you had a dollar for every time that’s been in the comments. Keep going. You’re helping so many people. Thank you. 🙏🌵🌵🌵☀️

[@ianlopes7485]

all the time man!!! my memory works pretty much as you described. i am too tired to describe it myself but ot was very helpful and funny watch you. total identification on this regard!

[@tiiaj7589]

This is probably my favourite video of yours. As you know, I see in pictures. I’m realizing how very much more than I even thought before. I have to translate everything into some kind of visual aid in order to commit it to memory. Even the filing system has to be visualized in my mind. There’s really a whole process line, come to think of it, lol. With my little minions going through the days input and analyzing it to determine its destination in the file room. Sadly, the minions are either bored or overworked, because they’ve been slacking terribly lately... 🤔 Anyway, loved your mixed analogies. That’s s pretty much exactly describes my brain’s inner workings too.

[@purplemind93]

I have bad memory. Both short term and long. Apart from traumatic stuff. And I have "picture moments" from days in school, like I have body memory from sitting in the classroom and from there I can recollect what I was doing and how the room looked, but rarely what I or someone else was saying. Relate to that fishing for words thing and the red chili story, getting one word or some letters wrong. Often when I'm saying something I come up short with one particular word in my own language, or I can sort of see the word in my minds eye but in a dyslectic way and I don't know how to spell it out. So sometimes I just try saying out loud what I think the word sounds like to see where the fault lies.

[@kissit012]

I’ve always thought of my memories and organization of such as a filing cabinet system. For more abstract or yet to be related things, it’s more of a webbing system that allows for quicker recollection and connection of subjects across multiple fields. Sometimes it’s a combination of both

[@stoic521]

You can enhance this by storing it better in the first place. Memory is order + imagination. Memory techniques are really helpful, especially if it's critical information for stuff that is important to you. Story technique, loci method, Major System, memory palaces etc.

[@fopdoodler9427]

Wow... I didn't know what my autism was, but thanks to you I am getting at least some inkling of what my problems are and why I am having a hard time taking tests at my current university. Thanks for the amazing videos.

[@virglibrsaglove]

That's me to a T. I'm officially diagnosed with ADD and self diagnosed autistic. When I used to take ADD meds my recall ability was very sharp. Without ADD meds my recall ability is hit or miss. The information is all there. But without meds there's often a cloud that prevents me from seeing where I filed the information. At other times there isn't a cloud in the mental sky and I recall everything easily and quickly. The really "interesting" part is that when I took the meds, I seemed to use a different mental filing system than without. I would have expected to not remember while not on meds information that was filed while on meds. But it went the other way, too. If I filed something while not on meds, I could recall it better with no meds than with meds. Now with no ADD meds for many years, I seem to have gaps in my memory from the years when I took meds. And, yes, fatigue effects me greatly, too. Or illness, stress, low blood sugar, etc. If everything is right, my recall ability is right on. Sharp, accurate, witty, fast. But if anything is off, I come across as a complete dolt. It's frustrating and embarrassing. I remember the looks from people at work as I struggled to find the words. Yet other times I was a complete hit. People would talk to me expecting me to be right on, and then were off put when I wasn't.

[@lilyorozco8699]

Your explanations are amazingly clear ! I thank you so very much!!

[@shanerooney4982]

Hi thank you so much for this. This has happened to me on numerous occasions and I only now understand why. It usually happens in work meetings and once happened in a job interview. Needless to say I didn’t get the job and friendly members of the interview panel asked me afterwards exactly what you said there-“what happened , you are normally so confident….” . I put it down to nerves at the time but looking back it was due to my Autism which I didn’t know about at the time. Thank you

[@jessicapippen4737]

I have used the same metaphors for years. I was amazed the minute he started explaining this subject because I felt like no one else really every understood or believed that this problem exist. Thanks for making me feel a little less crazy. :-)

[@brittanyleavitt3423]

Yes! I totally relate to this. I usually tell people that I’m running on a dial-up connection. Once I’m up and running, everything is good. I can get from one point to another no problem... but once I’m disconnected, it’s going to take a bit for my brain to reconnect

[@DaveTexas]

My memory has always been freakishly good - I could memorize anything. I never had to re-read notes or cram for exams because I remembered everything from the initial lectures. I can memorize music after reading/singing through it a couple of times. (Seeing as how I work in opera, this is a good thing!) That said, I cannot remember people. I can’t remember names, and I can’t remember ever having met people. Once, while working at the opera, an audience member came up to me and greeted me in a very friendly way. I apologized and said I didn’t recognize them. They told me their name and said that we’d been in college together and lived in the same apartment complex for two years. I had NO IDEA who they were. I pretended to remember them so as to not offend them, but I had literally no memory of who they were. They remembered my cats’ names from 30 years ago, which meant they spent time inside my apartment. It really freaked me out that they were like a complete stranger to me. On the other hand, if I photographed someone (I was a professional photographer for about 15 years), I could remember their name for years. It had to do with looking at their photos, labeling the negatives, creating a file for them, that sort of thing. I could run into someone in a restaurant after not having seen them for 10 years and remember their name and the circumstances under which I had photographed them Now that I’m in my 50s with a degenerative neurological disease, my memory isn’t what it used to be. I still remember that I saw The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway on May 25, 1988. I still remember that I sang a concert in Carnegie Hall on November 26, 1995. I flew to Australia for the first time on February 10, 1999. My favorite cat died on January 3, 2003. Dates seem to be burned into my memory. However, I can’t remember which operas we did four years ago; I have to look that stuff up now. It’s very, very troubling for me to not have access to memories like I used to have. It causes me to get extremely frustrated.

[@estherhadassa1061]

Loving your mix of metaphors!!! It's seems to be my kind of thinking too.

[@DTrecording]

The filing place analogy really resonates. I can recall data exceptionally well because it's easy to organize and associate. But episodic memories and even faces I'm not intimately familiar with, I don't have a good way to organize, store, and retrieve that kind of information.

[@veanncantu2169]

Omg I love you explain things so well and show me that it's my brain not me being stupid or just have bad habbits

[@JoanColeMassage]

your filing cabinet and sticky note analogy - so true

[@Saba-LouAKhan]

I also use the filing cabinet analogy and generally describe my menory as being highly selective, sorted by the categories ‘factual’ and ‘emotional’. For instance I can nearly perfectly recall lessons from school regarding my focussed interests (in the natural sciences) but will completely (and I mean COMPLETELY) forget some conversation/encounter with someone from school whom I didn’t deem particularly interesting. To the astonishment of my highschool friend with very good emotional memory, who can hardly belive I could’ve forgotten as I seemd so bothered by the instance in the moment. These videos are just pointing out and naming more or less everything about me spot on. Sincere thanks.

[@jesuismanu]

I’ve been looking into getting myself tested for a bit now. And what you’re explaining here rings so true and that’s why I am so afraid to actually be tested because I will forget what to say, what are the important points and they’ll just say what everyone else tells me: there’s nothing wrong with you. And here’s the thing, I can’t bring myself to make a list, to just write it down and I don’t know why. Thanks for the videos, they are helpful to recognise myself.

[@xoxoLeony]

I've begun that list and now I'm entirely overwhelmed when I look at it and it's all scrambled up and all over the place. I dread attempting to put it in order somehow.

[@superstarvishaal]

Although I have not gotten myself diagnosed for Autism yet, I relate so much to this. I find that my memory is incredibly strong at times that other people are amazed at how I am able to recollect people I had only seen or briefly met a long time back. At other times, I feel as I can't identify people I had met many times. I used to think it had something to do with the details on their face, body language or other attributes I tend to pick up when I notice them. I also see this at work that I am able to solve complex problems, and simultaneously have trouble with the most mundane tasks at other moments when I am not able to recollect how it is usually done.

[@cory99998]

Yes, learning is like a highly connected filing cabinet. Everything is logically ordered and locked into crystalized systems where one thing leads to the next. This cannot be forgotten as it is the nature of the logic structure.

[@sir_no_name1478]

Nice analogy, I feel like that to with the file cabinet. The ABC list method from f. Vera Birkenbihl helps me personally to open all file cabinets needed for a certain tasks at very low costs

[@jimmaier233]

Exact same thing. The fluctuation between brilliance and useless like a fool the next day (tech field)... my whole life ! I have huge gaps of competence, where it doesn't hold any interest to me, or it's s.th. others do naturally, that I just don't get and am naturally bad at. Memory, same thing. Due to your videos, I became aware - huge revelation. Aspergers goes back in my family, a long time. My mother, her father, his father.. back to 1880, it's so interesting. The behaviour is so obvious in my family, that it's easy to recognize. Such a shame, nobody was aware earlier. My sons are also on the spectrum. It explains so much. Thank you !!!

[@jalissasnyder7382]

This was completely on point! I have compared my brain to a complex filing system, too, or like the library filing system. That's why I have to write EVERYTHING down as soon as it enters my conscious awareness because if I don't, then I forget... and if I want to speak with a professor, I have to write down what I want to talk about because otherwise, I forget. I feel like I have to write a speech if I want to say anything coherent because otherwise I'll forget and feel like a mumbling fool!

[@sarahlogan2075]

Your triple mixed metaphor is perfect BTW. I only lose the words that I really need. This happens a lot but mostly if I'm tired, stressed in general, specifically anxious, or excited. I also substitute words like in your restaurant name example and mix up letters in other words. Things can go down hill in a flash as you mentioned.

[@michaelarmington5501]

I’ve never related to something so deeply! Thank you for sharing

[@JinAndSodaTV]

I LOVE that combined metaphor at the end 🤣🤣 Wanted to add really quick.. about the "I completely forgot my question, I know it was a good one.." and it's this: That happens to me even when im having a deep, intellectual conversation with someone.. and what I've found to be really helpful was to keep a small notebook or notepad around (I mean, I pull them out when deep conversations start happening.. i dont mean I have a notebook opened all day every day for every convo 😅), and I jot my question or input down really quick so I won't forget. I also preface the person I'm talking to like "sorry, im just writing this down real quick so I don't forget.. but continue please 😇"

[@danielfinch362]

My trick for accessing the memories on the tip of my tongue is to go through the alphabet, its a reasonably successful method of retrieving such memories.

[@ChristophersMum]

I do this with names...😁

[@danielfinch362]

@@ChristophersMum yes I relate to that. I'm terrible with names, even forget those close to me lol.

[@jay6562]

Yes! Last week, I told my coworkers, as I was struggling to recall something in a meeting, that I can't recall all of the information in my head all the time. Sometimes while trying to remember, almost got it..., I ramble about something unrelated thinking it will bring me back to over to the train of thought where I need to go. This leads me to be very verbose sometimes, but it just depends on my mood.

[@Aroniyun]

This keeps happening to me. I start your video and think "that doesn't sound like me" and then I continue listening and go "...oh. nevermind." For instance, I have an exceptional memory to the point of it being painful but that file cabinet comparison fits too well especially misfiling a record or blanking when it's my opportunity. I've become confident enough to outright state that I need a minute to get my thoughts together. I pause a lot as I speak because I need to grab the right words to get the thoughts out.

[@elisciaventurino2205]

Yes, my memory is horrible. Short term and working memory both. It's gotten progressively worse as I've aged. When I'm at work, I have to write everything down or else I'll forget it right away. And it's hard for me to recall things, as Paul said, it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't quite remember it. Causes so much frustrating moments.

[@danitrevisani]

Perfect explaination! I related myself exactly!

[@Joey-rs7uq]

Like the Hot Chili instead of Hot Pepper comparison, when trying to remember something I say a completely backward and convoluted description of whatever im thinking, where it's almost like English is my second language and im trying to translate two things that aren't 1 to 1 (Even though I only know English). The thing I usually say makes sense if you think about it, but most people just remain confused because they don't possess my inner context or follow what im saying (Can't blame them half the time). It's really inconvenient and embarrassing, and so whenever I'd play charades/memory games I sound articulate and dumb at the same time.

[@Mrs.Silversmith]

I can relate to having my train of thought get distracted by something and then trying to stop and remember what the comment or information was that I was going to share with someone. When I am in that situation my strategy is not to try to remember the item directly but to recall something in the sequence of thoughts I was having. If I can do that, my mind will run along the same path and, voila, I am back to that thought I temporarily forgot. In general though my memory is pretty good; I remember all kinds of info people typically forget. However, bringing it out when I want to is more tricky.

[@rrrrrfffff]

I've never been diagnosed as on the spectrum, but over the past few months I've come to realize and conclude that I most likely am, based on some other yt videos, a TON of research, and some very difficult self evaluation. One *memory* I have from my childhood, I was in conversation with a friend one day and as I was talking, I all of a sudden forgot the word "strawberry", and it was such a mental block I couldn't remember the word for almost a month after that moment. Brains are weird sometimes. And I definitely relate to the analogy of not finding the right search term. This is a literal issue for me, when trying to find something online, on a regular basis. Also, in conversation now, if I'm speaking with someone I am more familiar with, I will regularly substitute the word "thing" or "thingy" in place of a word I can't remember, since that happens so often. Usually the other person gets what I'm saying and I don't have to mentally struggle as much, which is a relief.