Autism and the Pandemic

A lot of you have messaged me in the past 18 months, telling me about how the pandemic has been affecting your mental health. Not sure why it took me this long to talk about the pandemic in a video. Better late than never, right? Hopefully, by talking about my experiences (and some of the experiences of others), I can validate the experiences you have gone through. You're not alone.
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#autism
#mentalhealth
#bellletstalk

[@maxderrat]

Thanks to everybody who is providing their experiences in the comment section. It's clear that the pandemic wasn't as negative for a lot of you. In fact, a lot of what I deemed as negative was positive for some of you. This additional information is very important in providing a more accurate, detailed picture of what it is/was like to be autistic during the pandemic.

[@stephenlanuto5993]

Good for you, Max. It is great thing you did with this video

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

TBH, the pandemic hasn't really affected my life very much. 😅👍

[@KaliYuga2049]

Taking the vaccine, will not stop you to give the covid to anybody, it's useless.

[@MarioPerez-ng9it]

@@KaliYuga2049 Nothing is 100%, but that doesn't mean you should abandon the safety precautions offered. Not to mention, it cured him of the psychosomatic pain inflicted from worrying over his father. Ergo, far from useless.

[@CC726A24]

I really appreciate learning your experience, but I am sorry it has been so difficult. As an educator it helps me understand what some of my autistic students may be going through.

[@MammaApa]

I, an autistic and maybe more than somewhat reclusive person in my 40s, musician normally working from home, found the pandemic way easier than most people in general. All of a sudden people were recommended to live the way I have been doing for many years. My regular routines has MANY similarities to the definition of self quarantine. So for me personally, this wasn't so bad. I have felt more "normal" this past two years than I have done ever before. This has not been a popular thing to express, so I have usually shut up about it.

[@WobblesandBean]

Lol tbh I enjoyed it! No pressure to be social, I could stay indoors all day, get everything delivered...it was great!

[@stregahex]

Same. If the situation about the virus wasn't a deadly one, I wish it could be much longer.

[@SuperLotus]

Yeah. I'm chronically ill so I already stayed home all day and didn't have a social life. My life actually got better in some ways: I got some stimulus money and I can see doctors and therapists through my PC rather than going to appointments

[@cyberlingbot3d896]

Yeah I've been inside alone for over 10 years, maybe longer, video games were like my only interaction with people mainly. Now I make game content among other things, so the lockdowns had no effect on my lifestyle what so ever.

[@JennyJinKs]

omg yes.. this..... the hard thing is to not express our feelings about the situation because it's not 'the right thing to do' -and i realize that so that's why i always keep these to myself as well- but still wish could people just keep the 'understanding nature' most developed while in quarantine about mental health awareness, social isolation and that it's not a bad thing and stuff After this 'disaster' ends? because i feel that people kinda judged before but now we're just living the 'same way', in other words people are living the same way maaany people already lived before, so now they can actually understand better especially since many people just see now that it's just 'okay' and even improved themselves while self isolating.... but i still feel like it's not the moment nor it will ever be the right moment to express the 'sentiment' that we are living normal ''as always'' and nothing changed for us when there's people who are having a hard time in quarantine and getting sick i Know people would be upset if i showed any sense of normality about all this, so i just don't talk about it, ever, specially about the masks, i feel that they've made me Way less anxious to go out when i need to buy groceries or things lie that, it's kinda like a security blanket for me, and it's something that i would've never figured out if the pandemic hadn't hit -and since i'm not someone whose masks are part of my normal fashion like in asia street fashion or cyber/goth fashion etc 'cus they've been wearing masks for decades and i have to say i like it- but never wore before because afraid people would judge me more than ever, but since it became a Must and everyone needed at least now people don't look weird if you're wearing one and i feel like even after this is over we'll be still able to wear them if we want without people judging anymore which makes me kinda hay because it's a new thing that helped me out a little, but still i don't feel like people would like to 'hear' any kind of expression of 'any happy sentiment' about Anything related to the pandemic even if it's something that i -or anyone else- found out to help with stuff in a personal level i think that if it's related to It people would be mad to hear something positive about. sorry about the text block, i just felt a little happy to hear/read someone who's also thinking the same way and also feeling like can't really talk about it to most people.

[@chairmanofdabored4120]

Thank you Max for making these videos, your videos genuinely make me feel less alone in the world

[@bboyg1]

I agree with this

[@maaaa_teus]

Even in isolation, you're not alone, bro

[@bboyg1]

@@maaaa_teus this is a fact!!

[@tommyjackson5520]

Having autism is isolating to say the least. When I was doing school through a computer at home, I had a hard time learning anything and without a routine, I was failing school, I barely passed my junior year. (I apologize for the run on sentence). Now as a senior, I'm able to go to school again but now I face the challenge of socializing and understanding social cues again because being in isolation made all my progress towards developing my social skills worthless and that was devastating. I'm now battling depression and have suicidal thoughts. Oh god.... Imagine what it would feel like if people knew I was autistic irl? The endless babying would make me go insane.

[@TheActualMrLink]

I know what you mean. Online classes for me feel like they “aren’t real” or that they’re “inconsequential,” so my already-mediocre grades have been floundering.

[@silent_stalker3687]

So what’s effecting the people with autism more? Covid, the governments response to Covid or people getting mad about masks and the type of stage that sets

[@badlaamaurukehu]

The governments set the stage in case you forgot. Being autistic doesn't alleviate someone from being wrong.

[@davidlewis6728]

i would say the government response. forcing people to change their routines or way of life, or making them wear weird pieces of cloth on their face as max noted, will definitely make things harder for autistic people. the virus itself isn't all that serious most of the time, and while seeing others not following the rules everyone else is supposed to could definitely get annoying, it isn't as bad as the loss of an entire coping strategy.

[@sunbeames1847]

I would say the government response. It feels forced. They admitted to lieing about mask shortages, so can I really trust them. The knowledge that the vaccines don't actually prevent spread but instead just lessens symptoms was something they weren't upfront about, only addressing it after there were way too many "breakthrough cases" to hide it. Frankly, if someone lies consistently, why should I trust or put my faith in them. Call it paranoia if you like, though I think the first lie spoken by the various governments was the first cause of concern as to not trust whatever they push next.

[@Lorrins]

The media fearmongering probably did not help this case either, I'm willing to bet

[@davidlewis6728]

@@sunbeames1847 as a libertarian, i believe the government is usually pretty dishonest. you don't need to be autistic to recognize that, but it might help if you are obsessed with patterns in these kinds of things.

[@trey2099]

The one thing that significantly reduced my anxiety was removing all forms of news from my life. It wasn't healthy for me to continuously be agitated over what's going on in the world. And in many ways, I would subconsciously search out events or information that would trigger my anxiety. Once I realized this, I removed all social media and news from my life. Henry David Thoreau: “Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which it was already but too easy to arrive at; as railroads lead to Boston or New York. We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate.”

[@chronic_johnson_a.r.a.b]

Strangely enough, the lockdowns during the most uncertain, early stages of the pandemic last year were like heaven for me (I don't mean to belittle other people's struggles). Everyone kept their distance and left you alone. The streets were often empty and quiet, I never felt so relaxed. Now that things seem to be heading towards normal, or at the very least, much more under control, I've found myself having a hard time readjusting to what used to be normal. I loved and grew used to every moment of isolation that the lockdowns provided.

[@CC726A24]

I kinda feel guilty but the emptiness and "isolation" of the pandemic was downright amazing for me. I feel like I will think of it with fond memories.

[@chronic_johnson_a.r.a.b]

@@CC726A24 No need to feel guilty, man. Just obviously don't brag about how great it was for you to people who struggled. You're not alone, though. It sounds weird, but I'll miss the lockdowns.

[@forgetit9421]

I needed school because it regulated my schedule through my hole life (even when I switched schools my wake up routine was always the same) and at the start of the pandemic I was willing to do shit because I thought " yeah, it will be just a week or two without my routine" but it lasted longer and my mind just refused to learn anything school related of it wasn't on the old way. But when school came back, It ended up being worse to go back to the old routine because I had developed a new one and because of the time stuck at home I didn't interact with anyone outside of family, so now I'm barely functioning amongst other people. I try to go out to at least train myself to bear being in a crowd, but socialization that was already bad for me is now non existent, and I kinda just gave up in talking to people. The good thing is that I spent some time thinking and understanding myself better

[@badlaamaurukehu]

Smothering(for your own good) is a soft form of abuse inofitself. So is gaslighting and emotional guilt trips for personal gain.

[@PerdroLuvas]

I had a positive relation to the pandemic, I was an undiagnosed ADHDer and Autistic person and due to the lonely time I gained because of the pandemic I was able to notice these traits in me. Your videos were a GREAT help for me to identify the autistic traits I have :D. But the initial lack of routine really affected me and loud noises really were torturous in 2020, this year was better though. I just hope the pandemic will be over soon so that all the anxiety gets easier to deal with.

[@captindo]

It's my kids that I worry about most. Out of the four, three have ADHD hyper type and my youngest is autistic so, I've had to keep a close eye on depression which has started in my teenage boy. I know what to look out for since I got ptsd and brain damage from my time in the infantry which is kinda a blessing to me since I've been fully and completely fine being in one location for an extended period of time, and, I've gotten to spend much more time with my kids which in turn has raised my kd/a in most first person shooters lol. Gotta find routine, hobbies and good time wasters because, the future looks gloomy, might as well say fuck it and have some fun and laugh at the fear right? Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together, cheers from Canada.

[@TheActualMrLink]

I know what you mean about worrying about the kids these days, especially the really little kids who are just starting to be cognizant of the world around them. It’s gotta be rough for them, growing up in a time where a literal plague has swept the world. This tragedy is their “normal”...

[@athenassigil5820]

You're an interesting character, Max! I really appreciated this video and all of your work, it's most excellent content! Cheers!

[@DrewFr33m4nn]

As a person with asperghers (a form of autism), this video was extremely accurate of detailing what dealing with autism during the pandemic is like. Thank you.

[@cwinship]

same

[@clxwncrxwn]

The thought of not being free is making me stress out, I have autism, I hate these lockdowns, this is not how humans are supposed to behave.

[@the11382]

Seriously, the government took my social life from me and I’m supposed to be happy about it?

[@alexanderklepp]

Max, you really cheer me up with your videos. I wish you the best of luck and I totally agree with you that while I am not a student right now, I would rather be taught in person than over a computer as I too get easily distracted.

[@Lapis_Pylosiphorum]

Looking forward to your next video in regards of autism, when ever your in a bless state of mind n can manage it, don’t push yourself into burnout or feel burdened like you have to continue this series I can understand if you need to move in form the topic but for the most part I’ve not resonated with words so much in such a long time MaxD, thank you for all your insights n contribution. Peace, respects & God Bless

[@ebesonen]

I really appreciate it when you talk about mental health, it means a lot to me to know that you care about mental health and Covid 19, it's not done enough to talk about mental health and how to handle Covid 19, so thank you for talking about this Max and I hope you continue to, stay yellow buddy 💛

[@SolomonK515]

Hi Max, As a recent fan of your content and as someone who is also autistic, the pandemic was certainly an incredibly challenging time for me. I was simply too scared and depressed to work from March 2020 till April 2021 as I didn’t couldn’t deal with the thought of giving someone COVID-19 and having them die from it. Being stuck in a one bedroom apartment also didn’t make my life easier, as someone who graduated college in 2019, putting a massive financial burden on my parents. I felt immense guilt for the fact that I wasn’t making an income for myself when everyone else I knew was working during the pandemic. While I am now employed as a part time store associate and working to get my masters in clinical mental health counseling, I still have thoughts of guilt of not stepping up to the plate when the world needed help. Thank you Max for sharing your stories on autism, as it makes me know that I am not alone.

[@WobblesandBean]

My sensory issues are all sound related, not touch, so I'm lucky that masks aren't as bad for me as they are for other people on the spectrum. I can't imagine how bad it must have been for those who are like you, though. 😞 I'm so sorry.

[@badlaamaurukehu]

I'm reminded of the two-year old who was forced to wear a mask on that viral airplane video.

[@mechanicalmortician198]

I started university last year and due to the demands of the pandemic and virtual learning, had failed my first year almost completely. It discouraged me from following that career and I dropped out, applied for other courses and got a really really good one but because of the pandemic, they dropped the course last minute and with no student finance to live off, I was left with no option but to work a year and try again the next. I moved away from home for this and now in a city alone with no support, no diagnosis and a full-time job that is demanding too much that I can’t communicate my needs to, I am struggling incredibly to cope again. Not to mention the sexual harassment I’ve been receiving which is only adding to the increasing stress and causing me to have breakdowns and panic attacks. This pandemic has screwed me incredibly and I don’t know how I’ll survive the year,, Thank you for the video. I think what you’re doing is incredible and it’s a relief to be understood

[@undead4456]

I can’t imagine how hard that has to be, i was lucky enough to make it through the online school ear with ok grades… but yeah it was a wild ride. I had to move 4 times and even lived on a pull out couch for a good month. I don’t know for sure what I would have done if I failed school but I’d definitely recommend going home. There’s ZERO SHAME in needing a support system and going home for a few months. There’s nothing more healing than spending time with the ones you love and care about.

[@pablo_giustiniani]

Hold the fuck up, sexual harrasment?

[@mechanicalmortician198]

@@pablo_giustiniani yeah,, I got a job as a kitchen assistant but because I’m the only “woman” in the kitchen and am young and masking heavily so appearing very sweet and naive, a number of the staff there have made passes but the creepiest being when a 40 year only guy there got my number and asked if I needed some company and asked if he could come over and implied some other very uncomfortable things. I can deal with the sexist jokes but this is getting seriously overwhelming and embarrassing that I can’t talk to my work about despite trying but they don’t even know I’m autistic because I was desperate for the job and didn’t want to screw my chances,,, now I regret it

[@mechanicalmortician198]

@@undead4456 I’m so glad you got through! Sadly going home isn’t an option for me. I chose to study far away to get away from home as it’s filled with traumatic memories and not overly supportive people. Although if things get really bad I might have to which sucks because I worked so hard to get away from that place,,,

[@pablo_giustiniani]

@@mechanicalmortician198 That sounds messed up. Stay strong girl, don't doubt to ask for help if things get out of hand

[@one_smol_duck]

I'm definitely in that "the pandemic has been oddly healing because of my autism" camp, but that's only because I was already working remote, already had extensive routines in place for being home all day. If this had hit two years earlier I would have been in College and I do not know how I would have coped. It really scares me to think of it -- College was already such a hellscape for me without covid going around. Grade school also would have been horrible. I have massive respect for all the students out there, Autistic and NT.

[@sneedmando186]

Siblings have Autism, really thinking about getting tested, your vids have been a huge help and educational, thanks ♥️

[@DarksteelHeart]

Max, I have loved your content since I found you a year ago. I appreciate that you are able to see both sides of an argument. I wish that the vaccine was both a choice, and not so political. When politicians use things like Vaccine and Disease as political weapons, it muddies the water for both sides. I respect everyone for their choices, i only disrespect those who wish to take mine. I'll pray for you and your pops, Max. Stay awesome and stay yellow, friend!

[@williammcconnell1212]

Also autistic here. I share many of these experiences. A new 1 for me is the vaccine. The sensation of needles and the idea of things being injected into me makes me panic like nothing else. I have been called anti vaccine, anti masker, covid denier and many other things for the crime of being autistic and my body reacting with terror and extreme agitation towards masks and needles. Its sad but, i didnt expect anything different.

[@dylan____3107]

I still have trouble wearing masks due to not being able to breathe. The way you described it is very true. Personally, I came from a very toxic upbringing with a lingering hint that I might exist on the autism spectrum. I worked extremely hard through therapy and hard labor to move out on my own to begin the next chapter in my life. Then, covid hits. My lively hood I worked so hard to create for myself was at a constant threat of being taken away from me, like the thought i would wake up back in a place of trauma completely outside of my control, if I lost my job. So my stress levels with fight or flight, went through the roof. I couldn't handle wearing a mask, since I couldn't breathe, and my stress caused me to breathe even less. The politics is very annoying on both sides, even in daily conversations with others. Its almost like, you can't openly talk to others about issues your experience, being we are all in the same boat going through the something, which is very untrue. Thanks for your video dude, big silent hill fan here.

[@sunbeames1847]

Completely off topic, but considering your pfp, I'm currently playing siren for the first time. I've got my first ending already. Thoughts on the game/sequels?

[@gregmoldovan5921]

My fitness center forced us to wear a mask and oh boy! Cardio is the worst and heavy lifting... forget about those last 3 reps per set!

[@vaevictis_]

I’m not autistic but I really do appreciate these videos and helps me understand a different perspective

[@NT-sx2bd]

This is a nice video of yours, I'm glad to see your still around on KZbin.

[@bdk336]

I'm very high functioning with ADD. I also have a similar situation with a family member I'm worried about catching covid and very scared of the potential brain damage to myself so I can empathize with your own worries. However I'm also unemployed and no longer in school so the pandemic has been relatively easy on me. I was actually lucky enough to find that we already had masks in the house which were very soft and I could just about tolerate wearing for an extended period if I really need to. I had to go out for errands so I acclimated myself to wearing them for longer than I'd normally be comfortable. I've been saving those comfortable masks by using the strategy of bagging them and leaving them for a week to kill germs. It's always a big relief to take the mask off but I've actually found that the stress of wearing the soft masks is less than the stress of dealing with spontaneous, unexpected and unwanted social interactions with strangers. The masks seem to greatly reduce the frequency and length of those interactions so I'm actually seriously considering wearing them in public in the future even if I have no health concerns. I also don't have to worry about schooling my expression as much in public (I generally try to actively not show my emotions when I don't want social interaction cause most expressions I naturally make seem to prompt people to say something).

[@TheSacredPain]

It's so good to hear your situation regarding the pandemic has gotten better. I really felt for you when you were describing the situation with your dad, it's how I feel sometimes about my mom. Thankfully, I don't live with her anymore and I still play it super safe just in case, but I still worry about her all the time. I am not on the spectrum but I do have pretty bad anxiety sometimes, so I definitely sympathize with you. Stay safe out there Max.

[@kickass1437]

Love your content for all of those reasons. But I believe the best way to get people to be a Patreon is to make community posts for early Patreon videos.

[@unclelandy]

Hey Max. I found out about you through the Heart of Darkness videos, and I so happened to be autistic as well. At one point I found your “autism series” while looking for the HOD Series to send to some friends. It’s neat seeing a fellow autistic, let alone a fellow autistic who manages to like similar things to me. And now I hear about your Covid experience and I’d like to give my chip on the table. When the lockdowns began for me (I live in Rural Georgia.) I was in 8th grade, mass hysteria was spreading around and I had to essentially stay away from the news or anything relating to Covid. Even on the internet. I was going through a hard time in 8th grade so I also ended up using the Quarentine to my advantage. Unfortunately people I met online screwed me over mentally. And due to my tendency to hold grudges, it took me a while to let go of said anger. Anyway fast forward and my freshman year starts. We showed up to school with masks and what not, but my school gave us mask breaks too where we’d head outside and well chill. Many of us used it as an excuse to be social and breathe. Me included. Now my relationship with the masks was the exact opposite relationship with how you felt from the masks. I could breathe fine walking around in the mask but if I stood still that’s where breathing became hard. (Probably because due to my ADHD my thoughts distracted me from the fact I was wearing a mask.) but eventually for my freshman year I got used to wearing the mask… then sophomore year happened and breathing became hard for me in mask as I simply haven’t been wearing the mask much during that summer. Nowadays I can’t imagine going back to the masks, I don’t know how my best friend does it, they wear a mask all the time in fact, originally due to concern of passing their brother Covid but now just because it looks cool, they definitely got used to wearing masks in public for sure 💀 more so than me. Ironically enough me and their mother think they might also have autism as well. Now one other thing I shall mention, School being removed from my routine at the time didn’t cause me meltdowns but rather affected my sleep schedule in a way I still have trouble fixing now to this day in 2024 But as I grow older and start to notice the importance routine is for me, I start to have meltdowns about change. It’s always nice to know others who understand those kinds of things, autism or not. And it’s nice hearing your story as an autistic myself. I’m glad I could’ve discovered you! I hope you enjoy yourself

[@Eizenicus]

Bro i just stumbled across your autism videos recently and the part in this one about working in a retail store in canada during the pandemic brought back a memory of probably the only time I got truly fed up with our policies. I was all for people wearing masks as the pandemic was a serious thing, but as someone with autism (that i only learned about very recently as of 2023), a warehouse employee and that summer hitting up to like 35-40 degrees Celsius, not allowed to wear shorts in the warehouse, new management up my ass with no knowledge of how our system worked, as well as having a new employee that had zero interest in doing his job and also criticized me for taking my mask off when it got unbearably hot, I had a complete meltdown. Pretty soon after when I took it off briefly one night that employee complained to management and quit, lucky for me there was no repercussions as they understood since there was only about 4 of us on night shift and the aforementioned heat. Anyway, your videos have been incredibly enlightening to me as after I learned of my autism it was weird to know that most other people don't experience the things I do. But hearing you talk about such relatable topics has honestly been such a relief because yes there absolutely are others that experience them. My fellow autists, you are not alone we're in this shit together.

[@CitrusJasper]

Coming from an autistic person, the pandemic actually made me feel better about my surroundings (Not saying it was a good thing overall, i actually lost someone close this year from it). I got to work at my time and pace for university and personal work. Everyone else was in the same stress/anxiety levels as I did all the time, so it helped me feel less alone actually. Coming back into the real world again has actually been the hardest thing for me. Coming back and working with others who feel happy to go “back to normal” striped away the comfort I had knowing everyone was in the same situation. Like I’m being left behind. I’m getting better now. I actually work with other kids with similar behavioral problems as I used to as a kid, so I can empathize with them about feeling left behind or just over sensory issues coming back from virtual classrooms. Therapy is a big help in this transition. Thanks for a different perspective though. Your videos on autism has helped me sort out my own personal struggles with this kind of life. Cheers!

[@kalypsodeepsea982]

Well, in my case, I liked being home-schooled. No makeup, wearing my hoodies and sweatpants and not wearing a bra. Perfect for me. Plus no going out, yeah 😅. But I missed social interaction, a bit. Now, I am glad to be physically back in class, despite of the mask irritating my face.I still can't free dive yet, due to the restrictions, and I hope to get back at it asap, but for the most part, I am happy. I just hope everyone else gets vaccinated, because I had my two shots already. 🌊🧜🏼‍♀️

[@sunbeames1847]

Although I'm delaying my vaccine, I recognize there's a risk/reward aspect to either taking it or not. I recognize I'm young, healthy, and live on my own. Its my understanding that the vaccine doesn't hinder the spread, but rather lessons the severity of symptoms. I'm also concerned over a lack of research into long term effects, making me feel as if the risk of taking it in my situation outweighs the risks of not taking it. That said I recognize that it's ultimately a risk assessment and different people will not only have different situations then I influencing said assessment, yet also have a different sense of weighing how risky things are. BTW thanks for the video. I think in terms of feelings of distress, it helps when people are able to have shared experiences to reflect on.

[@georgfriedrichhendl9881]

I'm not jabbed either, and I'm above 35 years.

[@standandyliver9811]

The problem is corrupt government and big pharma don't want you to have a choice or make that risk/benefit assessment for yourself

[@filipecosta1232]

I can't stress enough how awfully lucky I was during the pandemic for having the assistance of my family during all this time. On the other hand it didn't help much that I didn't get a chance to work on my projects and the skills I was developing for the better part of half a decade by then for about almost a year and when I finally had a chance to do so and decided to live alone for a while, and I eventually caught the disease and got my family worried sick because of it. With that said, these past two years went by pretty smoothly for me, but that's mostly because game development is, by and large, a computer based job and I did have my family support. But, yeah, these last few years sucked. Specially for those that, like me, live in Brazil...

[@zebulon220]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation. it feels better to know that I'm not the only one.

[@robTCGZ]

I've never been professionally tested/diagnosed, but many people have told me (including some of my professors at the university) that I have Asperger's. Regardless, I personally discovered with the pandemic that my lifestyle is called quarantine. I've always loved being in my house. Because of that, I love working from home. It's like a dream come true. I get paid to stay in in my house. I'm really hopeful that I can continue doing so even after the pandemic is over. I kind of see why most people would hate this situation. I understand I'm an outlier.

[@Crinbo]

Not autistic, but I’m severely introverted. For what it’s worth, the pandemic has only improved my mental health. I’m no longer expected to keep up with others, to go out with people, to make small talk. I can literally just hang out at home with my wife all day when we’re not at work and it’s awesome. Not bothering with friends or family, I’ve suddenly found myself with a lot more personal time that I can spend on stuff I care about like writing, reading, working out, and playing music. Great to hear your perspective though.

[@macewindow4642]

I cannot speak for the autistic community and though i am not diagnosed, but my therapist thinks i might be on the spectrum, so there may be some similarities. Max, you were right about the “being in school giving structure”. 3 months before the pandemic, i was living in another country, learning the language to go to college there. In many ways i was not dependent on my parents. Then the pandemic came and i was forced home. For up until now, i had lost all structure, structure which had provided me the ability to regularly shower, wash clothes, living what people deem as “normal”. Since i got home, i have struggled to get outside(though the pandemic did that to everyone), which was normal for me because when i was a teen, i never got out anyways. Days would go by where i forgot to brush teeth, take regular showers, change clothes regularly. My social abilities definitely declined. Not that i exactly need socializing, just that every now and then i might want to converse with people. There have been days when i could have short conversations and others where i barely said a sentence. The masks have definitely been bad in the sense that they are itchy and hard to breath in. Any heavy breathing and that mask gets sucked into your mouth by your own breath. I mostly played video games during the pandemic, but it was not so bad. Problem is, i should be almost done with uni right now and i have not even started. My parents have recently been more and more upset that i have not “flown away” as they say. It is a struggle and brings great anxiety. I know that i struggle a lot with socializing, loud noises, crowds, being touched(not that way!!), smells and at the most, I don’t even know the first part of living on my own. Every time it is mentioned to me, my anxiety spirals. They bring college and a job up without warning as if it is a normal thing to talk about. Maybe it is. Maybe i am just lazy and a clueless young adult that should be out in the world, making his own path. That is my stage in life right now. It is not easy and I understand others that read this and are in a similar situation. Best of luck in this crazy world!

[@withinthrall1445]

It’s kind of wild hearing about how people hate the masks to me. I have autism as well but for me, the masks really provide a sense of comfort. I can’t really describe it, I’ve noticed that it gives me something to sort of fidget with, but I can wear mine up to 10 hours (I pretty much have to for work.) I think I view it more as an extention of my cloths, I also wear my jackets and hoodies all the time unless it’s super hot out. I always love finding how others deal with different things than me. But at the same time, I think my opinion would be totally different in a school setting. It was already stressful for me growing up, I think adding a mask at that point would have been to much

[@WK-47]

I think I know what you mean. I don't have to consider my own or other people's facial expressions - it's all in the eyes when everyone's masked, but not in an overwhelming way. Sure, it gets hot and sweaty underneath, but at least it's something to fidget with as you say.

[@jigoujitoku7193]

You have the same Co-morbidity as me. No wonder I enjoy your content so much, very few people in my life understand what that is like.

[@jigoujitoku7193]

To add to my experience. I feel like not being around people as much, I lost the ability to mask, and being around people became more exhausting than pre-pandemic. Before, I would call it a slow burn, during the pandemic I had little to no tolerance. I spent most of my time organizing my RetroArch installation, curating my Rom's list and creating custom artwork boxarts and screenshots. I watched a few series' from beginning to end and did the occasional movie once the theaters opened up. Walking in nature was a welcome break from the house and my anxieties were mostly to do with the prospect of going back to work, and having to deal with large crowds of people again. People requested my company throughout and I did my best to push people away and exist in isolation. On the occasions I did socialize it was pleasant, but the days leading up to it were always anxious. I'm not sure why. I also noticed some OCD behavior became difficult to manage. I had a big fear if I left the house, something bad could happen, so I would repeatedly check everything was turned off, and that windows and doors were locked. Learning new stuff was difficult. I tried learning piano but it was difficult to stay focused once the novelty wore off.

[@davi0121]

While I did enjoy certain aspects of the lockdowns, namely no more crowds, the pandemic could not have come at a worse time for me. At the time the pandemic hit my country, I was three-quarters of the way through my first year of college, I had a group of somewhat stable friends, I had entered my first-ever relationship, and I had felt like I was finally making a breakthrough in my life. Then the lockdowns came. I am one of a house of six, and with five of us at home, I was imprisoned with four loud, argumentative people who never SHUT THE FUCK UP. I had to force my parents to get me noise-canceling wireless headphones (something one of your prior videos suggested to me). It worked, but I was practically confined to my room or out in the fields and forest because my social energy was constantly on empty from having to constantly interact with family and attend digital classes. Most of my new friends left and didn't respond in messages, and when the year ended, I was stuck in a house of sounds that I hated. I fell into a routine of waking up, browsing the internet and failing to sleep. I went to a dark place and for the first time in years, I began to have suicidal thoughts. If it wasn't for my core group of friends, I would not be here right now. The second year of college was plagued with constant waves of COVID forcing rapid change, and by the end, I was one of two people left in my class. My entire family have been vaccinated, which I am thankful for as I get to see my immunocompromised family once more, but the experience has left me with severe stress, and set back years of personal and physical development.

[@AnonsFunFactory]

Great video, Max!!

[@Snakeskin94]

The only people that benefited from the pandemic already didn't have social lives. This situation has been Hell for me- mind racing day in, day out, with no way of alleviating the tension. Existential thoughts plague my every waking moment unless I'm doing something with my hands, or am online- video games have become stale forms of distraction, and even music doesn't do much. I hate it. I fail to see how anyone in the comments could claim it benefits them.

[@Techno-Universal]

Also my home city of Melbourne recently gained the world record for being in lockdown for the longest period of time in total since the pandemic started so being in lockdown for such a long time did unfortunately promote to development of some new undesirable mental problems but we will hopefully be reopening next week or the week after so I can finally get out into the community and begin my recovery mentally! I also ended up missing out on a significant amount of my TAFE course this year due to the lockdowns but we should hopefully be maybe returning to the classroom next week or the following week! I’m really looking forward to it as I have not been able to learn much from home at all since we went into lockdown back at the start of August! :)

[@republicofsandles]

Hi Max, As an autistic person, an issue for me has come following the longest period of lockdowns against coronavirus. I no longer remember how people interact socially. Conversation is far more stilted than in 2019 because I am out of practice and need to observe other people for a second time. The issue is complicated by the actual changes in social attitudes and behaviour which took place throughout society in general follow 2019. People now stand in the middle of a busy street to have a private video call over their phone's loudspeaker. This phenomenon also occurs on public transport, and in general people seems more willing to answer the questions of the day with noise. I knew silence and shyness before the lockdowns started. For other people the feeling of alienation is a new one, I've observed more neuroticism and psychoticism in the general population now than before the lockdowns. Therefore, the 'double empathy problem' between neurotypical and autistic people will probably worsen in the near future. Kind Regards, Republic of Sandals

[@officialdeath278]

As a socially awkward introvert with ASD (aspergers specifically), I'm very prone to tiredness and exhaustion in social settings, especially in school settings. Not a lesson went by when I didn't yawn and almost fall asleep during class and it's only gotten worse through the years, though my very mild recurring insomnia played a part in that too. So when quarantine hit and I was able to use every single break to just lie in my bed to rest instead of sitting on a bench with crowded hallways louder than football matches and eating my lunch at home instead of the lunch hall/cafeteria that can rival metal concerts in decibel output, even if it's just a 5 minute break, being able to load up my social battery for the next classes in my home environment I'm actually doing better than ever in school, even finishing assignments in class early. Don't get me wrong, I do still have issues sleeping and I still do yawn throughout the day, but it's gone down considerably in comparison. As such, quarantine has felt like a blessing, and although it is exhausting to hear literally everyone talk about how miserable they feel for not being able to invade every other persons privacy bubbles (mainly talking about the super loud extroverts not the calmer people, you know who you are), I do understand the need for being social. I do have to admit though that it does make me feel really guilty since I'm the only person on the class's Zoom calls who's happy about it this, it feels like I wouldn't be able to say my true feelings without getting heavily judged. On a different note, great vid, and although we differ a bit I do understand what you're trying to say and appreciate you sharing your views as always.

[@manuricher4370]

Never isolated.

[@pigmanpiggypiggyman3732]

Great video, as a neurotypical this was very useful to think about

[@ukskywatcher9598]

Good video. I'm autistic with ADHD too . You actually sound like the lock picking lawyer too Bless 🙏🙏.

[@venepskeuten9206]

I'm in the camp where the pandemic felt kinda nice even though it was spread out way too long. At the time I was still in school. I have always tried my best at it, but I never liked it much. Felt more like an 7 hour chore every day. Didn't have any real friends there to make me desire contact either. The lack of responsibility and sense of freedom felt good. The negative if course that with this many opportunities to grow socially were wasted and my friendships somewhat weakened, which I allowed to happen.

[@TheMrt666]

It was a weird time for me, my anxiety of getting it was the most I've ever feared for myself. Being told of how bad it was from my mother who worked on the front lines and seeing her in tears over her job in the years she's been there was gut wrenching, It's so bizarre even to this day having both vaccines I still fear for myself and most of all my father who's had cancer 3 times and a heart attack. Yet, on the other hand, it allowed so much time to myself, where I managed to really understand myself and hang out with so many more people than my usual friendship circle over xbox, it was oddly a really good time to be sharing the same boat with so many people at once and with that I became much more social. Ain't that weird? Eventually, it led to me discovering more people where I felt more "On the same wavelength", which led me to you Max *Thumbs up*

[@neurononymous]

I personally can wear masks despite my ASD making me exempt in the UK so I do, but I understand why people wouldn't be able to do so. For myself I still do have certain issues with sensory issues connected to touch but most of mine are auditory. Personally I believe if you can wear a mask easily and don't have something like asthma or autism to stop you and refuse to wear one, it's disgusting and reprehensible. On the contrary, I also believe that anyone who shames people who are exempt are ableist. For me in the pandemic, I think I'm probably struggling with it a bit more than some people as I'm pretty extroverted. My fears about covid more revolve around my OCD rather than autism, but the idea of isolation terrifies me and so does illness, so seeing people talk about refusing the jab and things like that really upsets me personally. I'm glad I can relate on some issues with people here because I feel a lot less alone. I only have 1 other close friend on the spectrum so it's refreshing to hear other people's point of view

[@FjongFleron]

So in Denmark we really don’t experience covid anymore(we haven’t done that for a while now) but I remember that I fell out of my routine completely due to the fact that I felt like I never needed to do anything cuz everything was closed. And I am kinda still in that now. Thank you for your vids. They really help out

[@JohnXOsterman]

Thank you.

[@Legolassytrio]

I have high functioning asperger's and generalised anxiety, among other things, and my experience of the pandemic has been... chaotic at best. At the start of the pandemic, I was finishing my university degree, and I was already struggling with a lack of routine. I had very few lessons, and most days I felt like I was just floating with no structure or goals. It also didn't help that I was living with strangers in student accomidations that year, and they had grown very toxic over the year. They did not like me or my brother, and were very cruel and verbally abusive. I was working with support staff at the uni to create some sense of structure when the lockdowns arrived. It destroyed the progress I had made in creating a routine, and sent me spiralling back into floating aimlessly. Trapped in a house filled with people who hated me, with my brother being my only companion, I retreated. I grew terrified of catching covid, not because I was afraid of dying to it, but afraid that I would make someone else sick. My anxiety twisted that fear into the fear that if I left the house, I would get sick, and that would make someone else sick and kill them, and I would be a murderer as a result. As the lockdown wore on, my anxiety got worse, and I began to fear my housemates; fearing both that I might get them sick or get sick from them, but also fearing their verbal assaults as my mental health worsened. I stopped caring for myself properly. I rarely left my bed. I was increadably lonely. I lost all motivation to do anything, any sense of productivity. I would lock my door most of the day, only opening it to my brother when he brought me food. If it wasn't for him, I probably would have starved myself in that room. I have no idea how I completed that year of uni, but eventually, the year came to an end. And my time at that house did too. After a while of panicking that I would become homeless and being unable to get help in getting a place to live when the student accomidation was up, I was eventually directed by my uni to a support service designed specifically for people with Autism. They got me a house to live in, and now provide support each day to check in on me. They've been helping to increase my confidence and independance, and reducing my fear of leaving my house. With their help, I've got better. I have more routine now, I can leave the house and use the buses again on my own, I am cooking for myself and remembering to eat more. We still have a lot to work on, but I'm in a better place now than I was at the start. And I got my university degree; It was better than I thought it would be, given how hard the last year of it was. As bad as the pandemic was, I think it was made far worse by the timing and the other things happening to me at the time. Especially the house I was living at. But that's just my experience.

[@ase773]

While I’m not Autistic I do have a condition called complex post traumatic stress disorder, and I can say for certain that what you Mr. Derrat has said in this video has rung unsettlingly true I can’t ware a mask it feels like I’m being choked, and the scorn from those who adhere to dogma about how to best handle the pandemic has been torture. And once the vaccine rolled out in my state I lost contact with a family member over my hesitancy to take it Sense I didn’t wish to take something that had been rushed out skipping so many tests and medical trials. For now I only wish things to Return to normal and to you Mr. Derrat stay yellow

[@jamesbryant8133]

As someone that was never recognised as autistic I just had to cope...... Had to confront every problem. I'm 40 now and done many things. I thank god I'm not 'labeled and enabled'. All the power to you all though.

[@btwonderkid2453]

I had a weird experience with masks these past years. I got a job working in the meat department and found that the cloth masks helped me a lot with my job. They did a good job at keeping both my nose warm in the refrigerated environment I worked in and allowed me to better help customers without having to worry about smiling. So overall my work experience was improved because of the masks. For classes they were hit and miss at times due to the teacher's tech knowledge. Overall though I continue to pray for everyone's health as this continues and hope this all ends as soon as possible.

[@jamesklark6562]

I don't have autism but I had to work 12 hours a day 5 days a week during the pandemic. I felt like killing myself by January with all the lack of social connections and feeling my life was way too routine and unhealthy, those feelings kept persisting into late spring until I decided to just disappear for awhile and get into drugs so there was something else I could feel other than anguish. It's only been recently that I started pulling myself back together but I'm still dealing on working our alot of the triggers that forced me into that awful mindset, I still haven't returned home to my parents but I feel like there's someone else in my life right now that's making it all worthwhile.

[@AdamSmith-gs2dv]

I have ASD and can relate to alot of this. When lockdown first happened I had a full blown panic attack when I was laid off and online school was absolute hell: didn't do well at all. I also absolutely DESPISE masks due to very similar reasons, IDK why it is but I absolutely hate things touching the front of my face and it's not just limited to masks I also hate wearing glasses as well. I suffered through it before the vaccine but after the vaccine I didn't wear it anywhere I could get away with it. What's funny is when NY reintroduced the mask mandate I was one of the very few who did not put a mask back on and I swear I had to be the only one who had three shots who was disobeying the mandate every single time I went to a store because I am almost certain everyone else who was not obeying the mandate was antivax. Needless to say in November I am not voting for ANYONE who was for any of this crap

[@brianjustinramos9521]

Thank you Max for sharing this. While I do not have autism, I somewhat understand your struggles with the mask wearing. I accompanied my father during his whole stay at the hospital during and after his operation for 2months and companions and patients were required to wear masks at all times inside the hospital. This includes sleeping as well as doctors and nurses would enter our room to check on my father at intervals at night so I had to wear one while sleeping as well which became difficult and uncomfortable overtime. I do wish there was a better mask design that would give us the same level of protection while making it comfortable to wear.

[@wuthapun41]

I agree with your points at the beginning of the video, how quarantine had affected online school for me(still is a detriment), and the mask situation as well. I barely passed through my senior year, due to me not focusing on my work either from having a shit internet connection, playing video games, browsing the web, or just anxiety from having built up a large amount of late assignments. I was close to getting kicked out of high school. Very glad I decided to go back after the quarantine laws were not as strict. Having to wear a mask was also hard, as I couldn’t properly breath, the amount of dirt that filled up my nose, the smell of chicken poop, and dog and cat hair caught on my masks. The sweat from my face even made the mask more suffocating to wear. I persevered somehow, and ended up in College. I feel more at ease as I don’t have to deal with the mask, as I have gotten used to wearing, and I even forget that I have it on my face. It may as well have been something that you aren’t used to, a lot like having a stray cat live inside your house or something. Online classes suck tho.

[@BravoOneCharlie]

I am autistic and changing to online classes and the distress I had was the realization I needed to get a diagnosis. It was so hard to get used to online classes and it was also hard to het used to in person again (bright lights from the classroom drive me crazy) so I just shut a few of them off sometimes). Thankfully masks don't bother me (if they are cotton) so I guess I am lucky on that one, that I am more sensitive to light and sound (but one day that I used a N95 to school drove me crazy with the terrible elastic it had).

[@Hayden_Lummus]

As an autistic person, I actually liked wearing masks. That way no one could see my face. It was more on the psychological level than the sensation of having it on my face or breathing issues, which I myself didn't have. And that's just my experience. Also, dealing with a break up with my now ex-fiance' during the pandemic was even rougher than if it happened during the before times. Cause before I could go hang out with people at the bar I was a regular at. But couldn't do that during covid. I even had to move back to my hometown and back at my parents place. I felt so alone. So much more than i ever had before.

[@HaohmaruHL]

I hear you. Been living in japan for several years and only about month ago I started realizing I'm definitely an undiagnosed adhd and might somewhat be on autism spectrum too. I mean I always knew there's something up but thought I'm just shy or socially awkward. I heard about adhd before but thought it's something completely different for some reason or mixed it up with other syndromes. I can't do people interactions well and always try to avoid them as much as possible, can't maintain eye contact and always get scolded about it, and every time I talk to someone its like they're mute because no information they say is ever retained in my head. You just nod in response without realizing what's going on, praying the interaction will end asap. It gets in the way while at work a lot. Especially because I have to maintain connections with clients and do meetings (I absolutely hate it and dread every single time). Yesterday I spent an hour in the office staring at one single page and I couldn't read it because of all the voices and sounds everywhere distracteing me. You keep reading same sentences over and over. It's like being stuck in an endless loop of many micro groundhog days. White noise helps a lot to block of noises when doing things at home but can't really wear earphones at work. Mother being an orthodox christian always made me wear a cross on a chain around my neck when I was a kid but I couldn't stand the feeling of something against my skin and hated the idea. Also the reason I can not wear wrist watches or glasses, it just keeps bugging me and I can't get it out of my head. Back to being in japan, here everyone wore masks long before the "event" happened. So after the event, nothing really changed but oh boy, now you will get judged or simply declined the admission to a facility without a mask. Basically you have to wear it everyone the moment you step outside your home. As someone who hates getting the attention I feel you already automatically get too much attention from everyone around just for being a foreigner, now imagine if you're a foreigner not wearing a mask. Triple the anxiety. I also feel itchy and suffocating wearing a mask for the same sensory overload reasons. I dunno about lights but definitely can't stand loud noises like dance parties or even overcrowded places (something like Shinjuku station is like a personal hellish nightmare and it's like a maze to get out of this station as a cherry on top). Probably why one of my hobbies includes hiking because climbing mountains is peaceful and involves almost zero social interactions. But here in japan mental illnesses are not really acknowledged by society and no one will ever give you any accommodations. Trying to talk and explain why you're like that is futile. They will just laugh it off and say that you are lazy or simply have no motivation. It's considered that you either suck it up, succumb and conform to the public norms while persevering, or gtfo entirely. There's are also Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and constant ruminations over nothing as a fun little bonus dlc. By the way there's a only Concerta (Ritalin) allowed here in japan, every other drug is banned. I heard it doesn't work for everyone. P. S. It also suddenly made me realize why I only enjoy ass kicking or hard games like dark souls or megaman, or even fighting games. I'm also a roller coaster and sky diving junkie. I think due to lack of dopamine I feel like I need a huge dosage of adrenaline just to get this small motivation/stimulus to even feel anything. That's why when the game let's me know I suck I strive to get even better at it or when you kill a boss you kept struggling so much you feel such an orgasm. Hyper focusing on a game until you can play perfectly.

[@cyberlingbot3d896]

Some people might feel disgruntled by this video but for me personally I'm glad Max came to us to vent his frustrations. I hope getting all this off his chest helps, try to empathize with the man instead of just writing it off. Stay Yellow.

[@Amparito847]

I think the pandemic was the best thing that happened to me, it made communication with my classmates easier, and I didn't feel lonely as everyone was by themselves and I got to see my cousins more often. I also had more time to discover myself and enjoy the stuff I like

[@redmohawkguy1]

As a person on the spectrum (I was diagnosed with Asperger's, so its not particularly severe) I haven't personally had much of a problem wearing masks. It was hard to breath through them at first and they fogged up my glasses, but I eventually got used to having the mask over my face and learned to adjust my glasses so they wouldn't fog up. I worked at a school from 2020-2021 where I had to wear a mask, and even a face shield on top until I got the vaccine, so I was more concerned about not spreading Covid than the discomfort of the mask. My coworker who is a Navy vet actually complained about the masks more than I did. I do, however, respect anyone in the autistic community who does have a problem wearing a mask. Touching dandelions gone to seed used to make me cringe and run away as a kid, ironically, so I know exactly what tactile sensory issues are like. I think autistic sensory issues are a more legitimate reason to not wear a mask than the supposed medical problems of people who don't want to wear them for political reasons.

[@dasuero7489]

Hopefully, suicidal ideation hasn't cropped up and become prominent. Remember, all of us who dearly stay yellow,-- this bright, respectful and intelligent community-- you are worth it, no matter your mental or emotional disposition, orientation, upbringing, sensibility, sensitivity, flaws. You are forever a wonder to behold and love, especially during what is still trying times all around the globe. This also goes to you, Max. Thank you for acknowledgement and support of not only autistics, but those struggling with adhd, anxiety, ocd, schizophrenia and what have you. I sincerely believe that the world will come out a bit stronger than the first wave from last year. If you have someone who deeply cares and loves you for you are, cherish and hold on to them tight; so, keep that surge flowing. I can't imagine how horrifying it was to be under the mask mandate in Canada or someplace else that enforces the same rigid mandate and have to wear masks compounded with guilt and anxiety that autism and adhd brings up and amplifies, especially in regard to infecting a close relative or family member by chance or so. I hope this finds everyone well because I don't intend to be malicious nor dismissive of those on the spectrum. Regardless, in addition to staying safe, we have to try to stay yellow everybody. Greetings to Canada from Hawaii.

[@greenhowie]

So... I'm not sure if I'm autistic since my parents saw getting me tested as some sort of social faux pas (and by this point I've learned coping mechanisms) so this might not be a valid comment... but people staying at a distance and not touching me has been fantastic. Just so nice not to be constantly aware of feeling people breathing near me or getting too close behind in a queue and making me nervous. The hand sanitizer everywhere has been great as well since I'm a bit of a germophobe. On the other hand I was terrified of getting a job during the pandemic after catching Covid at the very start due to working in a hotel. I just started a new job a couple of days ago though - not out of feeling I could work again but because the jobcenter were planning on making me do a course to find out why I hadn't found any work. It's a very high energy job so it keeps me focused on movement - incidental tai chi has been great in keeping me from panicking since it's all about performing every action as gracefully and efficiently as possible so you don't worry about people being close to you or what they might think of you. tl;dr good video Max

[@WK-47]

Has the pandemic/lockdown been a real mixed bag for anyone else? The loss of routine/predictability was a massive shock I'm still recovering from, and the general anxiety of it all has been really discomfiting. On the other hand, social distancing while in public and otherwise being left to get on with things at home is... pretty good. Early 2020 wasn't even good for me, so I've no clue what to make of it at this point.

[@pseudodidact3956]

I’m very reclusive so overall the pandemic isn’t super hard on me, but I’m so thankful that I’ve graduated before covid started. I absolutely hate being stared at through cameras, even more so than in person (which I know is kinda weird.) Also with my fixation issues I wouldn’t have retained any information. Masks surprisingly don’t bother me all that much, once I incorporated them into my routine. I’ll pick at it a lot and move it around, but it doesn’t overload me the way it does other autistic people, idk why. I actually kind of enjoy wearing masks, because it makes me feel like I’m hidden, and I don’t get as anxious when I’m stared at. And because of that reason, strangely enough, I can hold eye contact longer than usual when wearing them (only for like 10 seconds, but it’s still an improvement lol.) My heart goes out to all the autistic people who do struggle getting through this pandemic, and I wish them a happy life.❤️

[@YoungZackary96]

During this pandemic, I learned that I am not a homebody. At first, I hated wearing a mask outside of work until last February after I switch from the cloth masks to the disposable dentist/doctor masks, But the constant routine of work and sleep and not doing anything on the weekends was really hard on me mentally.

[@jacobbelow4136]

You, Max, have my deepest condolences regarding the toll this has been taking on you, as well as how torturous wearing a mask had to have been for you. Even though I don’t particularly enjoy wearing a mask, I still bit the bullet and wore mine, even on those hottest days at work where it would just give me a throbbing headache, and it would just be an effort to get to the end of the day (though I was lucky that I wasn’t in close proximity to others the whole time, so I got multiple moments of much-needed relief where I could take it off). Regarding the vaccine, there are still some family members of mine who still don’t trust the vaccines, despite the overwhelming evidence that they are highly effective. I’ve had others say directly to me: “As long as you remain unvaccinated, you are a danger to yourself and everyone around you!” In the case of one of my family members who is in the business of pharmacy, she is very supportive of the vaccines, but she still says that the only one I should really take the vaccine for is myself. But I definitely understand your predicament and am glad that you got the vaccine, to help you have so much less to have to endure or worry about! If it’s benefitting you (and to further extent your father), that’s great! I just sincerely hope that Canada is able to have enough progress to be able to ease the restrictions soon! Of course, I’ve been hearing that the way the lockdown measures taken down in Australia have been BRUTAL (almost to Orwellian levels in some instances)!

[@maxderrat]

Thanks man. Yeah, the lockdown measures could be worse... which is why I try not to complain too much. I can go back to movie theatres again, and I can cross the border into the U.S. starting on November 8th, which were the two biggest restrictions. Now, it's just a matter of when Canadians can start to remove masks. I think they should be able to now. Over 80% of the eligible population has been double-vaxxed. People who haven't gotten vaxxed should have been vaxxed by now if they wanted to. We really need to start getting back to normal up here.

[@jacobbelow4136]

@@maxderrat Well hopefully that’ll be sooner, rather than later! But now that I think about it, do you think that it would be more bearable, rather than wearing one of those face masks that doctors wear, to wear something like a gas mask (kind of like what the characters in ‘Naussicä and the Valley of the Wind’ wore whenever they ventured into the toxic jungle)?

[@senbrisbane5352]

I got written up at the start of the plandemic they asked me why I did not wear the mask when I got told on by some random woman. I did not answer them because it was stupid. I was by myself when it happened in a lobby they passed through. They still sent an email and what is done is done. Still being autistic was something I only figured out as an adult. And the masks I wore at first were so suffocating to me and messed with my breathing too. I still have to pull my mask off at work at random. I do it when alone. People just don't get us.

[@6lu5ky86]

How would I go about testing myself for the autism spectrum? Also, I live and take care of my grandparents and the vaccine was a no brainer. My grandmother still isn't vaccinated but at least I am so I can protect her out here in the country from the city work.

[@CloveHitchJack]

Hey man, I work in retail and I find myself constantly pulling at my mask, having a beard means that the interior of the mask plucks out some of the hairs. The guilt i feel from the desire to abandon the facial muzzle has kinda desensitised me to my adapted heavy breathing. Tbh I think that the masks have made us all crabbier and customer interactions are heightened from both parties as a result, but there is a weird sense of comradery that keeps me from going mental 😅

[@land3021]

Yeah I can empathize with what you said here. I'm honestly kinda lucky I can still hide myself in public and be like everyone else with the whole mask situation... But I guess, humble brag or not, the glasses fogging up thing has been just the smidgiest bit irritating... a small price to pay in my mind, and, while I don't really have any massive issues with the demands placed on me right now because of the pandemic, I can definitely understand that some, may be spending hours upon hours fixating on homework and not getting anything done because either they're so zoned in on it yet don't understand anything but still want to get it done like i did, and to those people, well... dropping out of classes may not be an option for y'all, but damn, for me it relieved a ton of stress in the long run - BUT I still would've loved to have gotten down the concepts I was struggling with, even if I would've never asked for help with them since I didn't know what I needed help with, only that I needed help with something... Like Standard Deviation, or knowing what the hell shots are, or thinking I know what shots are and then realising I was wrong... which only feels worse not understanding when your doing school at home since, atleast in my case, I had ample amounts of time, with no real responsibilities outside of school, trying and failing to learn stuff on my own because I made some tiny mistake in learning something and never had anyone to properly steer me in the right direction or challenge me without leaving me confused or defensive...

[@Sourinksoda]

I dont know if the sunflower lanyard is used outside of the uk, but in the uk its a symbol for hidden disabilities, and it does feel safer wearing it. Ive only had 1 retail job last year at Christmas rush, it was fun and rewarding but i didnt realise the stress tol it took, i had tonsillitis like pain in my throat for 2 months, no doctor could figure out, i now know that when im overwhelmed i feel like im being strangled hard, the prolonged stress and uncertainty triggered the same pain with the slightest of stimuli wither it be having to talk to customers too much or just being out in the cold air. Of course i didnt realise i had autism at the time but it was one of the big factors into getting me to realise that i was, the uncertainty paired with a low mood from general christmas performatism didnt help the situation

[@n1fffan]

for me, the pandemic has been a mixed bag of overall bad. social distancing was basically me doing what I usually do, but now I don't get weird looks for giving people a wide berth when walking past them. I was unemployed before the pandemic, so I didn't really go much of anywhere anyway, although it's even worse now because my main mode of transportation is generally walking (used to be bike, but I haven't had a bike for several years), and it feels weird walking just about anywhere these days the masks... I freaking hate the mask. I refuse to wear them when out and about, I got a few choice words for anyone who has a problem with that, but I will when going through a crowd or entering a place of business will go and throw my mask on. I have a hard freaking time breathing with those things on, no different than the difficulty I have with a thin bedsheet over my face. no reason I shouldn't be able to breathe, but i really have a hard time. I once explained I couldn't breathe in a mask to a friend of mine, and he said it was all in my head... I wanted to tell him off, because no shit sherlock, it's in my head, doesn't make the breaths I draw any less harder for me physically though. Now, as for the shot... I'm going to put this plain and simple: I feel that the shot should be a choice for someone. I feel that people should be doing the research on these vaccines before anything else so that they can make an informed decision. One factor I always state is to weigh out the potential risks and benefits, Often folks who are or around loved ones who are immunocompromised are easily people I would say the benefits outweigh the risks (and no one should have any reason to shame you on your choice), but even those I would say should get the shot, they're free to make the choice, and I respect them for it. I was originally gonna wait until January to get my shot, but life circumstances made things weigh out for me to feel it better to get it in August instead. Donno where the card they give you is (nor do I actually care =^•^=) but I do know that getting shots suck, even as an adult (the nurses administering the shots were understanding of my dislike of shots, and did a wonderful job, barely felt them either them). I got the Pfizer vaccine, and other than the soreness after both doses, I had no issues other than the expected sickness after the second dose (a little self care, something to deal with the fever, and maybe a warm bath should help with that =^•^=).

[@duckman12569]

I tried to do cardio with, not even a proper mask on, but a neck gater. Was pretty terrible, and I wasn't even heavy-loading.

[@ashtentheplatypus]

Masks are a double edged sword in my experience. I work 12 hour shifts in a factory setting, and boy, I hate wearing my mask. Like you, I'm constantly itching underneath it. Sometimes, if I'm more secluded, I'll let it dangle from just one ear for a little bit to let me breath. But, on the other hand, it really helps with my communication. Since people can't see my facial expressions, there's less for them to misinterpret cuz of my autism. It puts us on equal footing in terms of communication.

[@TheVonWeasel]

Isn't it just wonderful that the "solution" of lockdowns has caused pain, suffering, obesity (which makes one more susceptible to disease), loss of business, loss of hope, and loss of life from suicides and denial of medical care for cancer patients and those on the organ donor list. All because there was a virus that you had a 99.98% chance of surviving if you were a relatively healthy individual.

[@Daxter609]

I was mentally breaking down from trauma a week before we were put in lockdown. I couldn't see a psychiatrist or therapist in person and I all I got was 10-15 minute calls with them. It was unbearable hell I was on the verge of killing myself so I got admitted to the mental hospital and it didn't help either. None of the doctors were around to talk to because they didn't want to risk spreading covid. I'd rather have COVID than the mental issues I was going through. I wonder about all the people that have mental health issues but can't see proper help for it because the lockdowns won't let them get the help they need in-person or the therapy/group sessions are the most social thing they have to look forward to for the week only to have that taken away and feel even more isolated.

[@manart6506]

The more reason to make the best we can do to make Covid go away… it takes resources and makes posible other health issues to be a bigger problem.

[@TheVonWeasel]

@@manart6506 It's as impossible to make Covid "go away" as it is to make the common flu go away. Should we just lockdown forever and treat everyone who isn't sick like they have the plague? Having a strong immune system: i.e. getting outside, exercising, maintaining mental health and relationship support systems as well as natural immunity is the most effective against any disease. All of those things have been banned by politicians who have no degrees or understanding of immunology. Does that make any sense?

[@TheVonWeasel]

@@Daxter609 That really sucks man, thanks for sharing. Wish I could offer you more support other than to know I'm on your side.

[@antonzandt159]

Exactly.

[@benfrancois7856]

I am high functioning autism I also suffer from add and or ADHD it does make life a little harder when I was a kid I used to have a photographic memory but not anymore LOL

[@BygPhattyPlus]

I don't think I'm autistic, but I have many of these fears. And sadly, my grandma did catch Covid and after a month battle with it and another illness she got while in rehabilitation, she passed. And I think i was the one who infected her, so one of my fears was realized. I do wish people would wear masks here, but I know it ain't happening.

[@PhillyCh3zSt3ak]

Disclaimer: I have no idea if I am or am not autistic due to never being diagnosed (though that thing with sensitivity to certain stimuli did resonate with me as whiskers drive me up the wall until they're shaved). I will say as an individual that everything done by my state fucked with my social life tremendously, lost people that I thought were friends to political differences that were once able to be shrugged off as differences that were overcome by the cliche that is friendship. Not only that, by my whole New Years' resolution of 2020 was to become more social and with a buddy of mine (one of the two friends I lost to politics) was going to help me with that as he was much more socially adjusted than I am. There were some really, really low days during the "two weeks."

[@Leitis_Fella]

I feel you about masks. I hate surgical masks because I hate the way they feel on my nose and mouth. N95s have been a lifesaver for me; I have worn the duckbill N95s and the KN95s, and even though they're still itchy masks, they're more effective and less itchy than the surgical masks.

[@gianniclaud]

Thank you for sharing that bit about masks... I find them to be one of the worst things about this "pandemic" - absolutely abhorrent!

[@jacobbelow4136]

As for how the pandemic has been effecting me, it hasn’t been THAT drastic, though it certainly was not without its stresses. Whenever those stresses have been getting to me, I would refer to one of my favorite films of all time: ‘Apollo 13’. The whole year 2020 has been feeling like an Apollo 13 mission, with one little spark throwing everything into a whole spiral of chaos! But I always think to myself of how those astronauts not only had to sadly skip their moon landing, but also had to resort to taking the long way back to earth without the aid of a direct-abort, AND had to power down to only 12 amps on their craft, which meant losing their heat and their food and water freezing, and barely enough breathing oxygen. They were miserable the whole while getting back home (and in Fred Hayes’ case, suffered a raging fever and urinary infection that took him two weeks to recover from afterwards), and the chances of them becoming the first astronauts to die in space were (pun not intended) astronomical, but rather than fret about their odds, they complied and cooperated with each other to get back safely, and it was ultimately a success. And even though the movie dramatizes some moments with the astronauts bickering and snapping at each other to emphasize the grueling situation they were in, the real astronauts were great at cooperating with one-another and keeping their psyche together to get out alive, even despite the torture. I know that most of us could never achieve the endurability and collectiveness that astronauts are known to have, but I think to myself that the best I can do to just try to those levels (even if on a smaller scale like just trying to get through a miserable workday). And I also keep in mind, that moment in the film where Tom Hanks is channeling the tales of Jim Lovell’s stories of surviving catastrophes, and the line of: “You never know what events are going to transpire to get you home!”

[@georgfriedrichhendl9881]

Well, I think the P(l)andemic is an even bigger challenge for ADHD people.

[@CC726A24]

I am autistic and the mask is generally amazing for me as I don't have to worry about people seeing my face and judging my facial expressions as they may normally do. Also, other people are used to seeing entire faces and that is how they normally function. However, now with masks, they are forced to see through a keyhole, and is quite funny as it seems to make me better in comparison in social situations as others are not used to be lacking all the information. The pandemic was great as my wife and I are very reclusive so it worked out great in that regard.

[@CC726A24]

I have sensitivity issues but I am lucky that the mask doesn't bother me. I can't imagine life if it did bother me as described.

[@Starzoh]

This dude is cracked at Halo

[@MaxterandKiwiKing]

I actually don't mind the masks all that much, in fact they help hide some of my facial features which helps reduce my social anxiety a bit. They do still get itchy and uncomfortable at points, but I don't seam to have that problem as badly as you describe, though that may be because my particular brand of ASD doesn't have it as bad when it comes to sensory issues. Except chalk, the feeling of chalk in my hands is almost painful.

[@SoulbreakerNB]

Same. I need to remove my mask as much as I can wherever possible. I hate my face mask because I always gasp for air every time I remove it. Being socially anxious about other people around me when I'm outside doesn't help either.

[@MapleStarBlitz]

I'm autistic and I like wearing the mask it's like wearing a mask over my ugly face ^u^

[@artrosis56]

I had trouble wearing masks at first. But with time most of the anxiety went away. I thought: ''well, when it's cold I get buried in blankets from head to toes and that doesn't necessarily make me breathe worse'' And that idea helped me. It's definetly an anxiety thing and luckily it was easy to conquer for me

[@averytheamazingone]

I live in a country where the mask ryles arent as strict and I kinda hate it. People took it an ran and now everyone(people at work, stores, etc.) pretends that nothing ever happened. It kinda makes me mad when I walk into a store that is either "mask mandated" or optional and over 90% of every person I see isnt wearing anything and getting into each others spaces. I see people cough into their hands and go touch fruit, its really nasty

[@scr4932]

Same here; even the staff don't weak masks. I keep checking the entrance door out of fear that the "only with masks" sign has been removed and I look like the only idiot who hasn't noticed that yet.

[@Advance493]

I have Asperger's but I thankfully do not mind masks unless I'm at work, doing physical tasks in a hot room. I actually miss the social setting of the classroom, despite my social anxiety. That might be because I was going to class with more girls, so I had a wider "selection" that just the small amount of coworkers.

[@bdk336]

Seeing as you're another person who doesn't mind masks much have you found that wearing one reduces unwanted social interactions with strangers? I've actually been considering wearing one in public when I shop and such even after there's no serious health concern just for that reason.

[@Advance493]

@@bdk336 there've been one or two people who either wanted me to wear a mask or wanted me to take it off, but those interactions are rare. Vaccinated employees no longer have to wear them at work either.

[@bdk336]

@@Advance493 I more meant do you find that random people try to talk to you about non-mask related things less when you're wearing a mask?