Autism Spectrum Disorder and How it Can Negatively Affect Relationships

Downloadable programs:
--- Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples- www.livingwithaspergerspartne...
--- Interpersonal Relationship Skills: eBook and Audio Instruction for Male Partners with ASD- www.neurodiversemarriage.org/...
Coaching services for autistic male partners:
--- Skype Group for ASD Men Struggling in Their Relationship with an NT Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
--- Skype Group: ASD Men’s Master Class: www.asdmasterclass.com/2022/0...
Coaching services for neurotypical female partners:
--- Skype Group for Neurotypical Women Struggling in Their Relationship with an ASD Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
--- Skype Group: Recovery from Cassandra Syndrome for Neurotypical Spouses: www.cassandrasyndromerecovery...
Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple:
--- Skype Group for Neurodiverse Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
Individual coaching services:
--- One-on-One Sessions for Struggling Individuals and Couples Affected by ASD: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
Access to “Members-Only” videos:
--- Get your perks here: / @markhutten
Parenting resources:
--- Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1: www.myaspergerschild.com/2019...
--- Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: www.high-functioningautism.co...
--- Discipline for Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum: www.myaspergersteen.com/
--- Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.autism-meltdowns.com/
--- Launching Adult Children with ASD Level 1: How to Promote Self-Reliance: www.launchingadultchildren.com/
--- Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Kids on the Spectrum: www.social-skills-emotion-man...
--- Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: aspergers-mystery.blogspot.com/

[@xtratc27]

Whenever I watch these videos I feel like you are narrating a movie about me, my wife, and our struggles.

[@positivevibe7684]

Mark, I am almost in tears. You are describing my husb to a T. He has toxic guilt and shame. He is super hard on himself. He feels like a failure. He is over 60 and refuses to seek help. I thank God he's not difficult to live with. He's a pretty good guy, and he tries. It took me years to accept something isn't quite right with him. I think I was in denial. Your videos have helped tremendously. Many thanks 💕

[@happytexaschristy]

First, our entire family (mom, dad and teen) are all aspies. In our home, we’ve learned to respond to each other by starting with “I understand and respect your point of view. Would you mind if I share my point of view with you?” And it works so well! We all feel heard, understood, and respected. Once we’ve both shared our point of view, we’re able to begin discussing the topic in a really productive way.

[@kiwiopklompen]

Great idea! Thx

[@yellowhawsoars]

Wow genius! I'm going to try this, it could help so much. One of us is diagnosed one of us suspected aspie.

[@happytexaschristy]

@@yellowhawsoars I hope it helps!! It took us probably ten years before our communication abilities finally matched up. The earliest years were hard and none of knew about autism. Now, we are unstoppable!

[@ekkolima]

That's cool.

[@mistressofstones]

Thank you for your videos. I'm not a neuropsychologist but I'm pretty sure my husband has autism. I used to have clients when I worked in disability whose behaviour was less cliche than his actually. He repeats words and phrases, he stims, he doesn't notice basic social things, he cannot describe his feelings basically at all, he almost ruined our marriage in the beginning with what was basically pseudodeviance, he says something negative to explain his behaviour because the real reasons embarrass him, and he had some extremely damaging melt downs where he said the most awful things I've ever heard anyone say. I always liked autistic people and I was in love and fascinated by him so didn't think practically how difficult our relationship might be. It was really, really hard!!. Ive basically forced him to work in this relationship with me but he's starting to be honest with me and trust me. One time recently he said "I'm confused" and I was so touched because in the beginning he would say anything else than admit he was lost. Thank you for making these videos because it makes my attitude change from like "why do I have to manage everything" to realising actually he is trying really hard and it makes me realise how much he needs me to believe in him and lift him up. I know he is devoted to our relationship, after all our dramas he's still 100% committed. He makes an effort to show his love the best he can.I have to make sure I can be his soft place to fall, as well as making sure I get my needs met. THANK YOU!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[@JJ-yh4nd]

I love what you have said here. Thank you. Judi

[@JesusChristIsKingIsGod]

I appreciate your love and commitment to your Aspie husband. Blessings to you both ❤

[@positivevibe7684]

@jesslee. I could not have written this better if I tried. You hit the nail on the head💯 My husb tries the best he can. He is definitely committed to our marriage. Prior to me accepting he has ASD, I used to think he was a heartless narcissist who lacked empathy. I used to give him a great deal of attitude because I didn't think he cared about me and took me for granted. It's taking a lot for me to see and accept him just as he is. I understand he is not able to give me what I want/need emotionally in our marital relationship. I would like to hang in there with him, but I'm not 100% sure if I can. I focus on the positive of hanging in there, but it's not making up for the emotional needs. However, I have no doubt that things are working out for my good. This is why I don't want to make any rash decisions right now. 💕

[@javajuli]

Your work is amazing. In the first video of yours I ever heard I foolishly thought you were defending the ASD1 over the NT wife. I was so wrong. I would delete the comment but I have watched so many videos I cannot find it. So sorry! I cannot begin to tell you how awful, confusing, and lonely my life has been because I married a high-functioning A man. God bless you!

[@javajuli]

@@winterroses2020 I realize that now :). This was the first video I ever saw so I think my heart was a little hard.

[@modestorobledo2862]

I have an autistic son, (30 years old) and I get irritated when talking to him for long periods of time.

[@NatalieClewley]

AWESOME!! Thank you for this video . . . best yet, at least for me, the NT wife! You have an amazing ability of explaining that helps us to understand easily. Grateful

[@markhutten]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ithacacomments4811]

You make solutions sound so possible. But, I found being in relationship with someone on the autism spectrum to be like hitting your thumb with a hammer every day. I have lots of experience... mother father brother sisters nieces nephews son daughter two husbands and myself !

[@markhutten]

Re: “Mark, do you take clients for online counseling?” --- Yes. I have an NT “ladies-only” group, an ASD “men’s-only” group, and a group for neurodiverse couples. Here’s the link to register: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2020/10/mark-hutten-m.html ….. and I do one-on-one counseling with one or both spouse [but there is a waiting list for that currently: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2019/07/skype-counseling-for-struggling-couples.html

[@SliceySlicer]

I'm autistic, but I don't quite think that way.

[@rachelfitzsimmons9499]

I've offered to do couple counselling but he sees no issues with himself and no insight Nt people don't get excused for their behaviour so why excuse asd behaviour???? It's emotional abuse

[@markhutten]

true

[@grey3083]

NT’s also have a natural inclination to be discriminatory think all the hierarchies in the world most likely created, implemented and long-upheld by you no matter how detrimental to those at the bottom. And the fact you discriminate to gate- keep opportunities based on who you feel is more autistic. Let’s address that long- standing issue first. Then we work on whose behavior is worse.

[@starlux3543]

Just discovered your account and has been a lifesaver. I have read loads of books, joined chat groups, follow accounts about ASD, etc and feel like you understand all the little nuances that often get left out. I was married before to neurotypical (I am as well) and our relationship was wonderful and easy. Sadly I lost him to Melanoma. I am now with a high functioning Aspie and life has been pretty hellish for 15 yrs. I started piecing things together when our son was having issues and I went down the rabbit hole of intense research. Lots of answers with your videos. Thank you! ***With that said, I admit I struggle to read what your videos have in print while also listening to what you are saying. I am guessing others my find it challenging as well. Would prefer to have one or the other so I can fully absorb each point being made as they are both important.

[@hazelpottage8898]

Both myself and my boyfriend have Aspergers Syndrome. I love my boyfriend very much however recently I feel like whenever I ask him a question or I tell him something that I would like to do he does not respond to me. He is keen for me to do the things that he likes to do however he does not respond when I suggest things that i like to do and he is not responding to my text messages although I think he expects me to respond to his texts. How should I behave? I know he loves me as much as I love him however I need to heard by him.

[@JJ-yh4nd]

Thank you for your videos Mark. My husband and I have a 26 year old who has been recently diagnosed with ASD. The things you speak about have offered us both perspective and insight into what we are experiencing, with regard to our adult child. We appreciate your work here. Do you ever conduct mediation services for families dealing with ASD and communication difficulties?

[@jenn_jean_kent_artist]

Please add help for when both the husband and wife are on the spectrum. Such a major next level of communication and struggles I can’t even put into words, and then our two adult children too!! I’m at my wits end…

[@liveyouryoga]

I live in an Aspie world. Myself, my husband, our son, my older brother and even my father are all autistic.

[@grey3083]

🤍

[@nirrieeva4239]

Would it be similar for a marriage, where the woman is the aspie and the man is the frustrated NT?

[@dianeroeder3350]

I don't think it matters which way it goes......no matter what, it's a frickin nightmare!

[@dianeroeder3350]

Just be prepared to do all the work and get nothing in return

[@allaboardthegravytrain5987]

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