Autistic Adults on the Phone 😬📱🤦🏼‍♀️

[@anabelle1508]

I just don’t answer the phone altogether 😂 I get back to them by texto or after I heard what it is about and I feel ready to talk

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I do this a lot of times too. 💕

[@NorthLoftier]

Relate + able.

[@Chaosmamaof4]

Bc u don't wanna answer the phone and wld rather text means u have autism???

[@WholesomeBeaut]

😂😂!!

[@ematise]

Oh my God 😮. 😐

[@bacchira1251]

Even my behaviour on phone calls is autistic. I can't believe it. I hate picking up an unexpected phone call. My family always complains, that I am never reachable.

[@1LovedbyHim]

OMG, me too!

[@DrummerrDuckie]

Clearly your family lacks the understanding and compromise to try and contact you in ways you actually feel safe, secure, and comfort responding in. I hope your family may one day learn to better respect your boundaries, you deserve not having to make exceptions to anyone trying to force crossing your lines.

[@besverjin5130]

Omg!!!! Man I thought this was just me. They constantly call me and they think I’m an Ahole. For a while I thought I was

[@besverjin5130]

@@DrummerrDuckie I don’t know who u are but thank you!!!!

[@bacchira1251]

@@DrummerrDuckie Yes, you are totally right, but with humans it's not so easy. That's why I have nearly no contact with my family anymore. Unfortunately they don't get it and I can't change them. But I have enough friends who accept me as I am. For me it's huge, that I notice them crossing my line. I dont feel guilt and shame anymore for not being able to be always available for them. I know now, that their behaviour is disrespectful. It's not my fault and I am doing nothing wrong. 🤗

[@Jacoby_T08]

Nah this hit a lil too hard 😂😂😂

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha :) glad I'm not the only one

[@bobbyknight3589]

yup glad I'm not the only one 😹😹

[@haleypirio921]

God. This is so refreshing. My mom always gave me so much shit for having anxiety around phone calls. It made me feel so incompetent as if I was just defective. It's nice seeing other people who struggle with it. My younger self would have loved to see this. I'm crying now. Thank you.

[@Mushroom321-]

Sad to hear..

[@Kris_J12]

I feel so seen right now. I struggle with this a lot. I hate picking up the phone even if I know them, I go into panic mode. Sometimes I don’t even answer the phone.

[@UCMICU]

Omg. I can relate. I get the “resting bitch face” or “why u mad” all the time…which is maddening itself. ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Definitely maddening! And sometimes when I watch my videos back I'm like... girlllll you look SO mad. And before watching I would've thought I was going to appear really bubbly. lol

[@Jesus_is_Lord555]

Same

[@besverjin5130]

I honestly thought my RBF was due to me being a rising Scorpio ♏️

[@wormisjunkd]

im telling you a major boost is hanging out primarily with autistics. so comfortable and freeing. now I get to look at big typicals the way they look at me. like ‘who is this weirdo and why do I have to explain every detail of my existence to them, why don’t they just get it like everyone else’ lol

[@abigailkargol2575]

Oh my god the "--oh sorry, no you go" and then trying to start your sentence over like three times...too relatable

[@MomontheSpectrum]

CRINGE!!!!

[@solomon2424]

OMAGOSH! I have the same problem!! I HATE to talk on the phone!

[@macgirl67]

So true!! ... But the worst for me is texting! You don't even want to know how long it takes me to type a text... Hours, hours!! 😂 My husband even makes fun of how long it takes me .. I'm always wondering if I'm replying in the right manner, tone, implication. I edit & re-edit over & over. Then let it sit for at least 30min to an hour on my phone so I can reread it to myself in the right context & fresh state of mind.And THEN, I worry I replied the wrong way after I hit the send button. Especially if I haven't gotten to know the person well enough yet, & it literally takes me a year of being around someone, consistently, to feel comfortable! Talk about overanalyzing!

[@Rita-tr6cq]

oh, I also think through what to write and how to respond, I got better in it but I used to delete whole messages because it didn't sound right. sometimes still do.

[@alexguerra1668]

Man, how refreshing to read this. Even if it’s years later since I’d started digging deep for answers to “why I’m like this.” I was digging in all the wrong places, but hey 🙏🏼 here we are. We’re not crazy 🎉

[@NM-zb6pd]

Sometimes i feel marveled, what a piece of art this mail i have composed after spending half a day at job, then i spend extra hours late to compensate 😅

[@dillasoul2228]

The level of anxiety I have with this very situation causes me to not pick up the phone or message back for almost a month, and that's with everyone I do like or is family

[@rlee7077]

YES. I actually got a job at a credit card company once & forced myself to talk on the phone 40 hours a week for work. I hoped it would take away some of the awkwardness & teach me a thing or 2 about communication--It was ... probably much harder for me than others working there 😆 I realized how much stress the calls coming in at randomized intervals had on me when: one night my sister accidently spooked me coming around the corner, and instead of screaming, I hollered, " Hello!" (As I was trained for surprise calls with my company) 🙊😆

[@meganchartier1060]

Omg that's so funny 😅 and great u decided to step outside ur comfort zone and try to better urself ❤️

[@dublindame333]

Thanks for that ending. Wasn't expecting that. "Hello" 😂 ps kudos doing what you did 👏

[@Sunset1705]

Accurate. People constantly ask if i'm sick or sad or if i'm ok in general, both in person & on the phone. i'm lik,e uh yeah.. why on earth would you think that? But then I notice other people being a little down/off in their tone, as a matter of who they are, and it's seemingly ok when they do it? I don't get it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Me neither. I also feel like when I talk to people in person, I'm treated differently. The other day I asked the instructor of my yoga class a question, and she looked at somebody else when she answered it. She only did this when she was talking to me and not others in the class. Interesting things like that happen to me all the time. It's like I can't hold people's attention or something.

[@Bluebell2683]

@@MomontheSpectruma neurotypical person refusing to look at you when talking to you - sometimes means they feel self important and not very interested in you. Which is why when autistic ppl look away to focus better when talking- they call us stuck up. Cos to them it signals feeling self important - I say this from using an online psychology resource for anyone thinking I’m talking out of my ass or something. Like it’s what psychologists say not me

[@alexguerra1668]

@@Bluebell2683interesting! Noted 📝✨

[@heartofplaydoh7647]

You hit it on the nail! Exactly how I feel!

[@heartofplaydoh7647]

@@Bluebell2683please send me this online resource. It would truly help me

[@aleeshasarr]

I’ve gotten really bad at this. Even in high school I was never one to call first or text back right away but now I rarely answer phone calls or text unless I have to, even with my best friend. It’s easier for people to take it the wrong way. Like no it’s not you it’s me. Sometimes I find myself scripting conversations before they happen so I don’t go blank, even if I’m just calling customer service. My biggest struggle now is finding a psychiatrist and my insurance doesn’t help.

[@Mushroom321-]

Relateable from in high school!!! 😮😮

[@jazy3091]

I'm sitting here crying. Add masked version where autistic person answers the phone and immediately starts overly cheerful "hello

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

I have to do that when my mom calls b/c she has her own issues (paranoid personality disorder) and if I'm not sugar sweet with cherries on top she gets mad at me and accuses me of being rude.

[@loyalty3116]

I just realized today that putting on speaker phone helps me detach a little. I feel like calls (from new ppl)distract my life in a way. I hate a lot of noise anyway. So putting it to my ears bothers me n not being able to see who I’m talking to as well so I need to video call or put on speaker.

[@besverjin5130]

Absolutely! Speaker helps

[@seajelly2421]

I LOVE connecting with people and I'm normally very chill, BUT every time the phone rings I go into a mini-panic and can't even think straight. Texts are almost as bad. I wish I could figure out this problem and fix it 😭

[@kelleyparker5593]

So me, I just came upon your videos and wow, I so relate. I have always known I had sensory issues, but everyone would say, your not autistic, you look in my eyes and are social. Ahh, theres alot more to it, thanks for showing all the ways that arent so typical. Gave me hope and now I dont feel so alone!

[@ematise]

No you're not alone😊

[@katpablo]

I love/hate the accuracy of this 😩😩😩❤❤❤

[@MaMaKendra42]

Omg! Spot on! This is whypeople like talking on the phone

[@9u1n]

I needed this video. It’s so hard sometimes to communicate with people why talking on the phone is super stressful and can even cause panic attacks.

[@meredithharris3718]

I HATE the phone and i end up ghosting ppl altogether. And if i dont open up a text within a certain amount of time im like scared to ever open it and respond back. If or when i finally do i try 2 think up some "creative" fib as to why i couldnt answer....like i keep hearing others say, its just so damn tiring!

[@Rykuii]

oh my god , i do that exact thing too ive ghosted so many people like that because i didnt respond in what i felt was an appropriate amount of time so i just didnt respond at all

[@archi7996]

I don't have autism but I'm just monotone AF this is too relatable

[@laina2848]

Often when I speak I get accused of being mad. I guess that's how my voice sounds. I should have known sooner 😊 love these, Thanks ❤

[@ChristinaAngel-0]

😂😂😂 I needed the laugh. So sweet and can identify!

[@summersalix]

Spot on! 😂 I relate so hard! I just found ur channel and it’s been super helpful while I’m currently going thru the dx process myself.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

oh awesome! Sending good vibes your way. Thanks for checking out my channel! Please let me know if there are any additional resources or videos I could share that might be helpful to you.

[@paulyisapepper]

Omg, I love this, my son, it's great I love his mind, and patience is a virtue❤

[@Kriszee4]

I feel like this exact problem controls my life. Thank you so much for making this!!!

[@dslays.3]

Being autistic is HARD asf, sometimes you don’t say anything after thinking about it and you just figure something out, OR you say something without thinking. It’s one or the other.

[@NiinaSKlove]

Yup, story of my life on the spectrum 😬😬😬😂

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So sorry to hear you have dealt with these experiences, too!

[@NiinaSKlove]

@@MomontheSpectrum 😬😬😅🙃🙂

[@Poniella81]

Phone calls are the worst.

[@naturalscratcher9498]

This is exactly why I prefer FaceTime! But only with people that I feel really comfortable talking to on the phone!because then I can see when they’re starting to talk or I can see their facial expressions and they can see mine!

[@leedickinson2419]

Oh, this is so very relatable! 😩

[@Nicole.Bentley]

Haha at least you HAVE a best friend 😂

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I am laughing so hard right now. That was AWESOME. And too true!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🙃

[@shabaka6406]

Am I the only autistic that hates phone calls AND texting ?? Both give me so much anxiety…I swear, I have text messages I simply have not opened/read or replied to in over 1 year. I can’t explain it, I don’t know why I get so stressed out and debilitated…maybe PDA? Anyhow, these days, I’m practicing with voice notes, which, to me, seem like a combination of call + text, WITHOUT the time pressure of answer phone call now! Or reply to text now! - Noooooo, I need about 2-5 weeks for that😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@indigobunting2431]

Even a buzzing phone makes me scream.

[@TheMuziklover]

omg this is every one of my conversations over the phone. 🙈

[@ritatownsend7408]

Yup. Yuppity yup yup yup. Totally get it.

[@renbaker5124]

This is so relatable

[@Jesus_is_Lord555]

This is so relatable. I was just diagnosed a couple of days ago, I get crippling anxiety trying to talk on the phone.. it’s even worse if I have to leave a voicemail 😩

[@robbiegibson4112]

I did this yesterday. I do this more often than I realized. I've needed to call a close friend for a while. I avoided answering yesterday because I didn't feel "ready to talk?."

[@disenchantedtear8219]

Ugh I seriously hate the phone!!! Always have! And I’m an early 80’s baby. Didn’t like them then and loathe them even more now! Which means making Dr appointments for my child are not so easy in me! But thankfully ordering food is all online now!

[@hildebergman]

Ridiculously relatable 😂😂😂

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

Felt deep

[@Jellyfish146]

I forgot the Halloween script last time. Nobody got the chance to say trick or treat

[@cecygeez2000]

No the “Nailed it 👍🏼” confirmation 🤣 i’m not even autistic and this is me all the time!!! 😂

[@alucardian101]

Changes in inflection and tone of voice can be lost on us autistic individuals, I see little point in changing my voice to suit situations as my memories of speaking even just seconds prior have me questioning on whether I shouted or raised my voice. I also feel the reverberations of my voice physically on my chest and it makes me feel like I did shout even in situations where I didn't. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding something that works often enough to be suitable, you'll never please everyone.

[@CatholicOnTheSpectrum]

This. Do NOT fucking call me, I will watch it ring.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yep.

[@anitas5817]

Omg. People call me, I don’t answer, I text them back a bit later.

[@kathyroux7386]

That's my grimacing smile!

[@heatherlikesoctopi]

if someone i know calls me i decline the call and immediately text them “lol yeah right”

[@eternalili5301]

Too relatable

[@rural_girl555]

i dnt even answer the call. i just wait until its missed and go back to texting

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yup

[@empressspace8110]

This is so me I get so anxious even during phone calls I always answer awkward. 😂

[@SoldOut4JESUS]

I have no friends I was undiagnosed until like 2 months ago everyone just thought I was a complete jerk that couldn't answer my phone I am so afraid of my phone that I just completely avoid it sometimes 4 days at a time and even then it's hard to look at because I'm afraid of what's on it

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

When i was younger my parents kept telling me to check my tone- b/c my mom thought I was being rude (when I clearly wasn't) I thought something was wrong with HER (which it was but two things can be true at the same time) so from then on when talking around her I always made sure my emotions were over dramtic (or at least that's how I would see them) Sometimes when I am emotive I feel like I'm just putting on a show of emotion when in reality- yes I may have those strong feelings but it feels like I'm putting in a display so I can make everyone feel comfortable.

[@francoisgagnonlemieux3135]

I hate phone calls

[@KideaRock]

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK the best! I would love to see more of this!! This is soooo accurate 😂

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Haha I had fun making it. Let me know if you have ideas for other “autistic experiences.” Thanks for watching 💕

[@LadySweet888]

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 🤯

[@KarenDUlrich]

I had NO idea this was a thing until I self diagnosed autism a few months ago. I feel "normal" now.

[@pskyy]

Can not answer phone calls. Way too stressful.

[@Jen-CelticWarrior]

I *hate* phone calls! Answering them, making them….😫 I hate to have to call to make appointments for me or my dogs.

[@stargazingstar3239]

It took soooo long to train myself to take shit like this in stride you have no idea

[@kathyb249]

I LOVE this!!! This is my life. But I've learned how to modulate my voice and sound enthused even if I am showing zero emotion on my face.

[@natashaedwards4719]

“That is so funny 😬”

[@koalabffs9050]

I only answer phone calls from people in my contacts

[@dianeb-r8512]

My personal strategy is : 1) checking who it is 2) if I don’t know who’s calling, I just ignore it altogether 3) if I know who’s calling, letting it ring (while helplessly trying to guess why they would be calling me) 3) sending the person a text a few minutes (or hours, depends on my anxiety level at the moment) later pretending I was busy with something and asking them directly what they wanted to tell me. Works great : even if the person insists to speak to me on the phone, at least I can prepare for it.

[@MandrakeGuy]

why do i relate to this so damn much? i hate it- its like the second i get a call my first thought is "okay but can i just not" ejsgafs STOP BEING RELATABLE 😂

[@kristinamelnichenko5775]

Valid, and hilarious ❤😅

[@thewisdomofaspen3022]

I have taken to saying yellow and my best friend accepts it and says it back

[@erikacampos9073]

My autistic 18 yr old daughter to a T❤

[@chairninja]

That's funny I do not speak until the person calling does...my feeling is you called me so it's on you to say hello first 😮😂

[@ananigma7]

Omg this is sooo accurate! 😂

[@meredithharris3718]

Oh, and making responsible phonecalls...like just to make an appt for the doc or dentist or wutever...i need days to prepare for. Then when i finally force myself to do it, most the time it literally takes me 5 mins to tackle 3 phonecalls that ive been putting off for like 2 weeks...and idk about anyone else but as i get older this whole thing gets more difficult. Is it bcuz im getting fed up finally of all the masking sh*t? Im a brand new one here, still trying to learn even what EXACTLY it is.

[@drtaverner]

Calling people on the phone like it's 1985. 😅

[@aj_us]

I answer and go “-what”🤣😭

[@honeybnoir824]

Since learning more about Autism, I'm starting to wonder more and more which parts of me is acting a certain way, like how uncomfortable I am when it comes to phone calls because I don't know what to say at times and I'm afraid of being too awkward and making the other person uncomfortable. It's the same with socializing IRL. A part of me wants to be with other people because as a human I need social interaction, but a part of me hates it because of how difficult it is. I guess it's both anxiety and how I'm able to communicate as an Austic person? I feel that I don't sound so bad when I know what to say, but might stutter or my mind goes blank when I don't know what to say or do. I don't know how emotionless I may seem to sound though. Question to anyone who's also Autistic: Be it on the phone, video call, or in person, does anyone have trouble trying to get there thoughts together to try to say what you want to say without being interrupted by the one who's talking to you?

[@MzRavenLong]

My exhusband who I presume is autistic after 15 12 years of marriage, always complains of being cut off while speaking. He even prefers to leave voicemails to avoid interruptions. He often says he needs time to process whats been said to him. He avoids eye contact when being spoken to more than when hes speaking, and has excessive social anxiety amongst other things..

[@thecatfarm]

yes.

[@Talks_2much]

😂 i dodge calls from my mil sometimes because she will call and want to talk for over an hour about people i dont know and things i dont care about. Or i get to play therapist while she goes off about a bunch of stuff that she stresses out about and can't chill out about. But if i dodge her calls for too long, she calls my husband and tells him i didn't answer and he just looks over at me and starts coming up with excuses for me. Ge couldve literally just got home and didnt even get the daily briefing yet. I could've been playing sims all day and he will just come up with some stuff 😂 He's honestly the best ❤

[@robbiegibson4112]

Lol I can actually relate.

[@kierrehill9756]

I’m the overly expressive one when I’m making too much noise and over talking them and they are like SHUT UP girl no wonder all I do is text lol

[@lish8591]

This is me with my husband. He tells me to call and talk to family members. I ask him what do I say. Outside of my parents, it's hard to call someone if I don't have something specific to ask.

[@Macabrebifidus37]

I get panic attacks when i accidentally hit the call button on instagram when talking to friends lol.

[@laurisawitch0707]

All my online friends schedule phone calls so I know well in advance when people are gonna call me 😂 and it's easier to mask over voice but people I know irl I can't call for the life of me over this shit. 😂😂😂

[@jenniferhorner751]

can relate totally

[@allstar4065]

Nope. I relate to this.

[@josueacunauwu]

That's literally me 😭

[@megzasaurusrex]

I probably piss people off I answer "yeah?" Unless it's like Dr or something calling haha

[@orionkelly]

Haha classic. Totally relate.

[@bunnym5617]

So true

[@chaangg494]

I save myself this struggle by telling everyone “please text me. Talking on the phone makes me uncomfortable”. Its a struggle when I meet people who prefer calling over text but unless I must, I will avoid answering calls to my best ability 😭😭

[@bryanmerton5153]

😂. Right on!

[@LadyPelikan]

I had to learn to call in my first salesman job. That was great CBT! I've almost got over the block, but I still don't like it.

[@kayleeyates27]

I went to acting classes since I was 10.. so now I have no idea if I’m truly masking or not😢

[@uphilldew]

me and my mom everytime i have to call my friend urgently:

[@meganmordecai7321]

I hate phone calls I can't do them at all I just don't answer and when I have to I'm very one worded answers or seem rude but I don't mean to be I'm just so overwhelmed with anxiety and worried ill say the wrong thing

[@ChivyD]

This is exactly goes

[@TriviaTomb]

I only answer the phone if it's my husband or one of my kids. I have too much anxiety to answer if it's anyone else, even if we are close.

[@th4nky0uf0rth3ven0m]

when i answer the phone, i wait for them to say something so i know what the tone of the call is

[@Beafree]

😆 omg! That's how I feel