Autistic burnout: prevention and coping

Let's talk about burnout. Something that is becoming more commonly used in work settings, by neurotypical people, but how is autistic burnout different and what causes it? How can we anticipate and develop coping (and prevention) strategies for dealing with autistic burnout?

[@francescoleman-williams911]

Perhaps some of us would be “better off” in isolation, in nature, living in a cabin etc (sounds like heaven to me) but that’s only because the world is not set up for us.

[@Jen.K]

I've only recently self diagnosed, but during my previous, entire adult life I have instinctively built an environment of nature around me, wherever I've lived. At one home, I collected 107 house plants, 2 cats, a dog and 2 aquariums. I even bought a house plant for a motel room I was staying in for 2 weeks once. I'm coming to the end of an 8 year burn out, during the worst of it, even nature didn't help. Everything felt overwhelming, ominous and too much responsibility. Thankfully I had no pets at the time it hit, and my daughter had reached an age where she was mostly able to take care of herself. I like the idea of a cabin in nature, but the reality of trying to live like that, and stay comfortable, might be difficult.

[@Jen.K]

@@beepbopboop3221 I was talking to my also autistic sister, and neither of us can understand why solitary confinement in prison is considered one of the worst punishments. We both think being locked up with other people 24/7 would be so much worse. I wonder if psychosis from isolation is as much a risk for autistic people, or only NTs. I'm also an introvert, and prefer spending a lot of time alone, I can imagine it would be very difficult for extroverts though. I think an isolated existence in a cabin would suit some people just fine, I mean there would be all of nature to commune with, birds to feed, animals to watch, plants to grow. I like my home comforts and modern conveniences, so it wouldn't suit me, but I doubt it would make me psychotic.

[@francescoleman-williams911]

I definitely don’t think we’d be better off in isolation in a prison! That sounds hideous!! 😳 For me, as an introvert, I can only speak for myself (sorry if I made it sound as though I was over generalising, my bad) it would be heaven for me to live in a log cabin in the woods. Yes, I would lose social skills but, so what?! I’m fed up with trying to fit into a world that not making any effort to fit with me, it’s very one sided and I’m exhausted! Nature replenishes me and being on my own, with 1-2 people who don’t drain me would be perfect for me 🙂

[@melissad8824]

I purposely stay fairly isolated from humans outside of my immediate family (hubby and 2 teenaged boys) because humans are just too volatile, selfish, and rude right now (at least here in the US). The combination of the extreme political divide here and the pandemic has made even grocery shopping an absolute nightmare of endless triggers. People around here refuse to even follow store rules or show a modicum of decency towards others. Every time I go out in public lately, it results in a 2 hour rant against humanity. I am so much happier staying at home and staying off social media as much as possible (we have an online business, so I still have to go onto Instagram occasionally to post about new products, but I lessen the exposure by having those Instagram posts auto post onto our Facebook page so I don't have to go onto FB, and we avoid Twitter like the plague).

[@deadsoon]

@@beepbopboop3221 minimal social engagement then. Like every few weeks. I'd be fine in that.

[@lindalambert8727]

Not realizing I am on the autism spectrum, I went on a two week church trip to France, Spain and Portugal. I spent it with a migraine due to having to listen to people nonstop chattering away on the planes, train and buses. I almost flew home half way through. It felt like a forced match. It was torture. It took me a couple of months to recover. I couldn’t understand why. It certainly felt like burnout. Sadly, I am 73 and have wondered why I am so different my whole life.

[@okthen4912]

i hope you're still alive and learn more about yourself!

[@faeriesmak]

Thank you for mentioning this. I was set to go on a 2 week trip that was delayed due to COVID. I actually don’t think that I can do it. We would be going on my father in laws trip and would have no control over getting any off time of time alone...and I need a lot of that.

[@cherylyoke4872]

I was teaching art in an elementary school and functioned fairly well until I had cafeteria duty. The noise was torture. I kind of walked around like a zombie. I’m sure my eyes were kind of glazed over.

[@EMILYHERRERA]

@@cherylyoke4872 the noise will always kill me. Doesn't matter from what or where, it's been able to bring me to my knees my entire life.

[@EliCrousey]

Sending you 💕💕💕

[@lemonysnickers1777]

I feel like I’m always either on the edge of burnout, IN burnout, or waiting for it to happen. I honestly don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I wasn’t showing these patterns and symptoms 😂

[@kathrinm2420]

I gave you a like but actually it means "I feel the same way"

[@lemonysnickers1777]

Kathrin Müller thank you!, I’m sorry you feel this way too :/ it’s exhausting.

[@DanaM18129]

Same. It is so exhausting! Because I never try new things because I am scared that I get overwhelmed

[@Heyu7her3]

It's cyclical

[@andreweinhorn]

I discovered a few years ago that both my grandfather and father began exercising every day in their mid 30s. I am now 36, and have started doing the same thing. My father and grandfather exercised every single day of their lives, my grandfather until he died at 93 and my father (who is still alive) at 75. This is a huge and highly effective coping mechanism for me. I never compromise on this. I still get burnt out, but much less frequently. And it helps to keep my anxiety at bay. I run, swim, cycle, climb. It just helps to pull my brain away from that overstimulated state. And I find that is my biggest challenge relative to neurotypical people. They so effortlessly withdraw from high levels of stimulation. I just cannot do that. But lots of exercise really helps me.

[@lightbeingform]

Daily exercise is really helpful. I only got into it in my mid-thirties as well, now 42. It took me so long because a lot of my difference made me less inclined to participate in my local NT-centric athletics as a kid, so I thought that wasn’t for me.

[@francescoleman-williams911]

I find it so helpful to hear how other people are when they’re in burnout. “Childlike” for example... I’ve been really chastised for my behaviour by therapists. I’m so angry for being undiagnosed by professionals who should have known better 😢

[@KittyCatSpartan117]

Awe I'm very sorry for your frustration, extremely valid. And you aren't alone, promise. :) been going to therapy for 10 years, not once did they see that my struggles were my autism/adhd, since I'm a women in her 20's they diagnosed me with bipolar. It became my special interest to find out what I had, I obsessed about it and researched to no end. I was done listening to the people who made me feel so stagnate and broken, took matter in my own hands and when I found out about autism I cried. I couldn't believe it, in a way I'm still in denial. But when I had my psychiatrist appointment I brought literally a research paper on myself since childhood to adulthood. Anyone who read everything I went through (hyperlexia, stimming, dyslexia, burnout, regression) could see it but I also realized that most of them aren't really trained in autism adult diagnosis so I had to provide the information, and present them with the stigma autistic adults deal with. She is now listening, and I hope she doesn't let me down like the others have. Sorry I went on a ramble 😅 i just wanted to say never give up, what you feel is valid. It's frustrating but we have to go out and look for those who will listen and help. They are out there :)

[@madeleinehenricsson226]

I have just reacently begged for test. My both kids have it even if one of them havn't got it on paper yet. I see it soo strong in myself and then some people who doesn't know how it is say "If you know and are soo sure how you function why don't you just change your way to react...." Talking about hole in the head comment from "friends"

[@BrightLittleSocks]

I am so sorry to hear that you experienced this. It can be heartbreaking when a therapist doesn't get you or recognize what's really going on. For context, I got my master's (and BSc) in psychology in Germany and Austria and autism (and ADHD) were never touched on in my 5 years of education. I think this is pretty standard. For my friends who went on to become therapists, their training also doesn't focus on autism very much. They are also more likely to be in contact with autistic people with high support needs in clinical settings, so their view of autism can be very one dimensional. Again, sorry you went through this!

[@SueLyons1]

The therapists are generally neurotypical and are floundering around in the dark of the gloriously diverse neurodiverse world

[@SueLyons1]

36:00 'autistic joy' 👏👏👏

[@babybirdhome]

To me, the thing that marks depression as depression that I’ve noticed when I’ve had it is that depression is actually a shift in your perception - you actually perceive the world differently and that warped perception is what causes and feeds the depressive cycle and brings about the gloomy “what’s the point” moods and dark thoughts and ideations. Burnout doesn’t involve that same warping of my perception, so although on the outside, some of it looks very similar or the same, the internal experience is not at all the same. When I’m depressed, I see the world differently. When I’m burned out, I just can’t stand the world I see at the time, but it isn’t markedly different (all things being equal) from when I’m not in burnout.

[@knowyoursource8794]

Thanks for sharing - very helpful ❤

[@tink5337]

When I get burned out, it co-occurs with depression. One usually leads to the other for me. It starts with anxiety, then burnout, and then I just crash all the way down and it seeps into every aspect of my life.

[@EinarMagnusson]

I think this really describes my experience too although I´m only starting to realize how this functions. How do you get out of burnout or prevent it from happening?

[@kkso3318]

I'm interested in hearing what you all have to say about AuDHDers and escaping society. I'm at war with myself on this one. One part of me wants to escape to the middle of the woods like Sam talks about here and yet another part of me is desperate to stay connected to society. The two parts of myself are at war with each other in this way. I long for a community in the middle of the woods, living primitively, and for me to be just slightly on the outside of that. Welcomed in when I am able but yet allowed to just sit on the outside and keep watch. Anyone else feel this way?

[@mikaylaeager7942]

Thank you for doing this! I experienced burnout just last year for the first time and I thought I had had a stroke and was permanently brain damaged. None of the medical professionals I was seeing had ever heard of autistic burnout (Even though they were aware of my autism). When I found out about it while researching for myself it was the most instantaneous feeling of relief I have ever experienced. This needs to be more talked about! This is real autistic awareness stuff here!!

[@janorhypercleats]

Yes, I was very freaked out when I experienced autistic burn-out. Like, my whole system shut down! And in those days no one knew anything about autism, so no one could diagnose me. I just had to suffer through a horrible experience! I got diagnosed with autism a few months ago and I started watching videos about autism on youtube and I came across a video about autistic burnout and started learning about it. No therapist has ever told me anything about it! Sometomes you're better off with youtube, a lot of therapists don't bother to stay on the cutting edge of what's going on.

[@minniethomas6206]

For real, shes good xx

[@Zarex10101]

I know you might not believe it, but really, the reaction to the super chat comments and distractions was VERY relatable! The more incoming stimuli I have that I need to keep track of and respond to while in a limited time frame, the more frazzled I get, and ironically the less I'm able to cope with the timeframe and incoming stimuli. The only way I can fix it is by stopping the stimuli from coming into my awareness in the first place. It's like crumbling under pressure, but only if I'm AWARE of the pressure, if I'm hyperfocused on whatever task or goal I'm attempting then I remain oblivious and unaffected.

[@Artifem]

I relate to the physical exhaustion you mentioned so much! When I was a freshman in high school, I would come home to be absolutely drained from all of the new stimuli and people. All I could do would be to lay down for hours and not do anything, to alleviate some of the exhaustion. This happened for months and it still happens, even 4 years later. I would be so severely tired that I could barely speak or make sense of anything. I have recently pieced together that I maybe autistic, and this is just another thing that told me something was slightly different. Thank you for enlightening and helping everyone with your videos and livestreams!

[@yasmeenamzk]

I was the same, even changing schools from the assumption that the long journey was the issue. For the past few years I thought I must have chronic fatigue, but now I guess autism is the answer

[@Jen.K]

I'm 15 minutes in and finding it difficult watching you struggling, trying to keep up with chat, interact in real time along with presenting information. This is even difficult for NT KZbin presenters. Please don't do this. Let us just chat among ourselves. Some other channels choose relevant questions from their chat, comments and discord server after the live stream, and address them during the next live stream. This works very well, is easier to watch/listen to and there is still audience participation. The videos are called something like "answering your questions episode 38" Your free flow rambling and information is so valuable and helpful. It's frustrating when you interrupt yourself because of trying to catch up with the chat. Carrying on listening now..... love what you do, thank you so much.

[@SweetiePieTweety]

Jen K I agree for Sam’s sake that interacting with the chats and acknowledging Super Chats is unnecessary. I would rather hear Sam free flow live until she chooses to interact then go back. Next go the moderator could collect them and then an individual Super Chat shout out could be part of the “Goodbye” or even an intermission and goodbye. We try so hard don’t we? But I must admit seeing the struggle manifesting in real time as to what she was speaking to made it incredibly real and therefore quite valuable content. Couldn’t have staged that performance any better on the set. The struggle is real.

[@briena8881]

Dear Sam, although I enjoyed your nice and honest way to deal with the situation and kept up with the questions in some way, I would suggest for you the following adaptation: I did the technical part of webinars for quite a while. The participants were around 300-700 people and I was responsible for answering technical questions, forwarding content questions, etc, so I know from experience that it is nearly impossible to keep track of questions and focus on the presentation when the participants rate is that high. So I would suggest, that you make a Q&A at the second part of your video, so that at first, you can focus on your script and keep the high quality of information, and at the second part, you have focus on the questions, one by another. And to make it easier, one or two assistants could choose questions out of the chat, so that they would filter the chat for you and you wouldn't have to dive in.

[@NATHAN-uz8un]

Omg. The florescent lights at my job bothered me so much. But just me. How strange that lights could cause my life to spin out of control. . . But they were like top 5 reasons why. ..It was a call center so I could not escape people's voices in my ear for 8 hours a day.

[@Jen.K]

They've bothered me too, my whole life, without me realizing it was the lights. All through school and various jobs. I would be fine, then walk into a fluorescent lit building, and suddenly I would feel strange, my brain would get foggy, things would look somehow wrong. Back outside into the natural light, and I would feel better. I'm just starting to figure all this out, and learning how to take care of myself. I've also worked in a call center, it was actually one of my better experiences because I had a script I could stick to, which made communication easier.

[@cogit8able]

Florescent lights trigger seizure disorders and migraines. IMHO since Autism is a neurological disorder it is only logical that fluorescents lights trigger autism.

[@suzettesanborn5659]

I'm 48 and newly diagnosed with ASD. I have a son who is also diagnosed with ASD and has been since early childhood. My son is now 24 and for the last year and a half it's just been the two of us. We have been living together in a one room studio apt. so very close quarters. Ok was able to come to realize that I'm autistic. I'm now realizing I've very heavily masked my way through life. FYI, I have suffered through secret abuse from the age of 5 till 47! I went from constant abuse of every form from my step father and then at age 17 got into an abusive relationship with a Narcissist. My husband was also an alcoholic and drug addict. I was the main source of income and would Litterly almost work myself to death to cover everything. I was a nursing assistant and nurse. I also had 3 children by time I was in my mid 20's. Also all three of my sons had physical and mental disabilities including Autism, ADHD, SPD, Elhers Danlos Syndrome, and Seizures. We felt with homeless, no food, no transportation, etc. Always struggling, constantly under stress, never getting a break, never went on vacation, didn't have any family or friends for help with kids, or Anything! I myself also suffered from Chronic Illnesses such as Elhers Danlos Syndrome which is genetic, and suffered all my life. Then in late 20s diagnosed with Endometriosis and had multiple surgeries then a total hysterectomy at 30. Then in 30s diagnosed with Lupus and Fibromyalgia, and Gastroparis. Also been in a couple of life threatening auto accidents. This is just touching the surface of what's happened in my life. I was diagnosed as Emotionally disabled, Depression, Bi polar disorder, borderline personality, Anxiety, ect. It got to a point where I just stopped seeking help. Now I got away from my husband, and anyone toxic in my life. I've been extremely isolated, but I feel safe. Now it's like all of my Autistic traits are coming out, and my son says I'm acting "more autistic than him". What can I do?

[@EMILYHERRERA]

I don't know, but I can relate to this entire thing so so much. The abuse, the hardships, the grind, masking, exhaustion, & trauma. I also live with an autistic son. Also a nurse. I've been in isolation for a few years, and it's the only thing that's felt safe. I know I have to work things out just to survive, but I can never go back to the way things were before. I live in the US, which seems like the least supportive place I could be, dealing with something like this. Social supports are an entire joke; they don't adequately exist. I can't go back to the rat race.

[@PotentEpiphany]

You have to treat the traumas with therapy. You probably have cptsd like me with a list like that. And also learn how to manage meltdowns shutdowns sensory overload individually is helpful. It's hard to find information. I had to mostly look on twitter and KZbin for advice. You and your son could watch together maybe 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@rebeccat9389]

Look at EMDR therapy, yoga, or info about the book the body keeps the score! Trauma sinks into your body and needs the right sort of treatment. Life is tough but so are you!

[@BetheChange80]

You were so brave ,given what you and gone through.Hope you are doing great and able to have a vacation or small getaway from the daily grind now and then. Here we are reading about your life after 2 years and many people feel the same .

[@johnacord6224]

Thank you for sharing

[@rockrchik99]

I feel like I’ve been burnt out for almost a decade...

[@Jen.K]

Its been about 8 years for me, but with radical self care, I'm getting better. Are you taking good care of yourself? With some changes, it is possible to recover.

[@angelabertrand9684]

Me too...

[@strawsofftheneurodivergent4221]

Boundaries are very important! I isolate so much because I know from experience that I cave in at some point, make other's needs come first.. eh That's trauma - I go into freeze or even FAWN mode because very often I just DON't know HOW to REACT to continuous demands, it is exhausting to constantly having to explain your needs, especially when you have been chronically invalidated...

[@ianlopes7485]

as an autistic-adhd watching the recording, i say: very difficult to watch but worth it! i got caught in ALL of your confusions and changes of attention focus. it's like... everything that was disrupting your attention flow distupted mine together. so i had to take 2 days to watch the entire video and so much energy. probably wouldn't be able to participate live. i understood how a script is important to me as viewer also. and, at the same time, how it is important to see you in your natural flow unscripted and go through that "with you". i think i know you better now and that is also necessary. no criticism here, at all. only a thankful feedback. i'm a brazilian 31yo man recovering from a major autistic burnout (reason why i was diagnosed last year) and all the stories here are very important to me as reference and support. i feel represented and belonging. health care for autistics here in brazil is very poor, so the internet is very important. thanks a lot.

[@ascgazz7347]

I was diagnosed ADHD last year which was a good step for me at 41, now after watching a few of your videos I’m like; shit. This explains the rest. Thanks for the info.

[@teapolso1700]

Thank you! Just a thought: One hypothesis is that depression actually is seeing world very much "as it really is" (depression realism). Autistics kind of see and experience the world without filters, very strongly and real (sensory issues, noticing every detail etc). So maybe there's a connection that's why? (own experience is that what they call a mild depression has been the basic state of mind since very little...)

[@DanaM18129]

I got a burnout from just spending time with friends, studying and trying to get a driving license and it lasted 6 months. I am still in recovery

[@kathrinkaefer]

Burnout has been really severe for me. At age 21 (pre-diagnosis), I contracted glandular fever, which triggered chronic fatigue lasting four years. It's been a slow recovery, but I have slowly started to learn how to manage my energy and discovering I am autistic has been a revelation. Now my only problem is that even with a diagnosis, there is no support available to give me a break from the constant feeling of overwhelm.

[@MamaEvaUSA]

I had burnout after my second child.... I felt so broken for so long.... finally went to a GP and after blood tests they found “nothing wrong” with me😳🤷‍♀️ This was before I figured out I’m autistic.

[@cogit8able]

That sounds like postpartum depression. It is for real.

[@GG-yv1dt]

Re. "high-functioning burnout" vs. "low-functioning burnout": I quite like the phrases "compensated burnout" and "decompensating burnout" or "decompensated burnout." The verbiage of compensated and decompensated is borrowed from trauma medicine/emergency medicine (at least in the U.S.) and refers to whether the body is managing to cope with a severe loss of blood, also known as hypovolemic shock. Losing a lot of blood is always bad, but up to a certain point, the body can compensate for that blood loss by constricting the blood vessels (to maintain blood pressure as much as possible) and by pumping the heart faster -- like when a restaurant loses a member of the waitstaff in the middle of a dinner rush, so the remaining servers have to pick up the slack, so they walk faster, and maybe even run. This is compensated shock. It's stressful and we don't like it, but for the moment, all the cells (like customers) are still getting fed, at least enough to stay alive. A body, and a restaurant, can do this for a little while, as long as things get back to normal pretty soon. Decompensated shock is when there is so much blood loss that the other parts of the body that were picking up the slack, themselves don't have enough energy to do their compensatory activities. The heart can't pump faster because it isn't getting enough fuel to pump at all, and the vessels can't constrict because they're not getting any fuel, either. The body system collapses, and life functions cease soon thereafter. The restaurant cook quits, and the customers leave, unfed, nonetheless having shat in the stopped-up toilets and blown their noses on the table cloths. More importantly, they don't leave any tips. When I was in compensated burnout for two years, I was in a bad way, but I managed to keep it hidden, and I went to work and did my job. I didn't have positive relationships or take very good care of myself, because I didn't have enough metaphorical blood supply to do everything, but rather just enough to drag myself out of bed and show up. Then I decompensated. I stopped showing up for work. I stopped getting out of bed. I stopped feeding myself. I had zero relationships at all. Eventually I attempted suicide and was hospitalized. (Don't worry, I'm better now.) So, I like compensated/decompensated burnout because such language more accurately parallels the language used to describe the body's response to stress and trauma -- as opposed to functioning labels -- which, as you've talked about, Sam, have an unseemly history of locating the source of non-thriving entirely within the non-thriving individual, to the neglect of examining the effects that terrible circumstances and horrific experiences have on people.

[@randomstuffs3060]

anyone else just wanna live in a cabin or cottage in the woods alone with a ton of pets and animals?

[@cogit8able]

Life goals!!!

[@faeriesmak]

Cabin, yes, pets no, Maybe one cat but that’s it.

[@tiiaj7589]

Parenting young children is stressful, but I’m finding parenting teenagers impossible. Plus the arthritis flare ups stopping me from doing most of the things that help me cope with stress, including exercise, as well as my interests. So; extra pain, less relief, poor(er) sleep because of those things, and more serious issues with the children as they get older. Definitely hit the rock bottom pit of burnout, and no signs of any of it letting up yet. I literally thank God for my husband as I would never be able to do this by myself. But part of my actual point I mean is parenting feels hardest in, basically, whichever point you’re in NOW, lol. At least to me it’s been like that. Today I could not understand something simple my son was telling me until he literally drew a picture of what he meant. I don’t feel like I have anything left to put towards anyone including myself.

[@melissad8824]

For me, my boys hitting the teen years has been such a huge relief. The older they get, the more I can relate to them and discuss adult issues with them like politics, social issues, etc. I could never relate to kids because I was such an "old soul" as a kid. Now I see so much of myself in my boys. I actively work to remember how I felt at their age, which really seems to help a lot in parenting them. I don't try to be perfect, and when I set a rule or a boundary with them, I always take the time to explain why. When I was a kid, all the adults dictated their rules and beliefs and imposed their will on me and never gave explanations, which pisses me off to this day. When I explain the reasoning behind rules and situations with my boys, they stop fighting me, discuss the issue with me, and either they agree to the rule or we modify it to work for both our needs. Treating my teens like adults has made ALL the difference in our relationships. I also say please and thank you to them sincerely without sarcasm. My husband comes from an old school dictatorship mentality and has MUCH more difficulty in parenting them. He thinks I'm nuts for explaining things to them and asking instead of demanding. As a result, they argue and give him passive aggression.

[@faeriesmak]

I think that I have been burn out from parenting for 20 years now. Both of my sons have ADHD and one is also on the spectrum so their needs are more than typical. I didn’t know that I was probably on the spectrum myself!

[@jerrysims6691]

Part of being ASD is understanding your limits and building in plenty of chill time. So often we set ourselves standards based upon non-ASD people (society in general) most usually because this is what we believe is expected from others and society. The result so often is burnout - leading to feelings of failure. We have to fully understand that what works for society in general will not work for us and that we must set our own individual goals in life that fit what we can cope with without making ouselves unwell. We need to be strong in the face of external pressures and say no, I'm doing things my way and refuse to bend to your demands and criticism.

[@justbeegreen]

The US sucks for support systems for adults on the spectrum.

[@garyfrancis5015]

Justine UK have NAS there not perfect but as a charity buisness they 10x better than autism speaks.

[@amybe3]

They suck at any level. I’m just tired.

[@NATHAN-uz8un]

So true

[@lisakukla459]

Yes. Every knowledgeable person I've discussed it with has advised me that with the risk of pre-existing conditions protections being taken away in the future, it's not really worth it to even pursue an official diagnosis, as there are very few resources available either way in the US, and certainly none in my state. They all say there's enough information on the internet and I'm cautious and discerning enough to have gotten to the correct determination on my own and make appropriate adjustments. I am already officially disabled by some spinal nonsense, so thankfully I don't have to battle with an employer or school, which I think is the main thing that makes self-diagnosis viable for me. I can't imagine what an impossibly difficult decision it would be otherwise.

[@priscilaminott3640]

Not just the US.

[@airinkujo3207]

do you guys ever feel that you have to just hide in order to recharge? but since you don’t have accommodations you have to bounce back immediately whenever the situation calls for it and you just get more irritable and more fixated on your routines in order to have a sense of control as you are trying to do everything that is required of you just because you’re an adult that doesn’t have a proper diagnosis to ask your professors and employers to accommodate for very specific needs such as sensory overload and auditory process issues.

[@kstar6508]

I have experienced so many burnout during my whole life and I couldn't understand myself at that point. Thanks for the precious information. Now I can create proper boundaries to protect myself.

[@maarakailet1]

I know the stream is over, but I felt compelled to make one comment. Absolutely not! A person with ADHD cannot choose to stay focused. If I could wish myself better, I would have by now. I spent years thinking I just wasn't trying hard enough to be "normal". Now I know that I have to learn to with what i am.

[@nordveien]

Pretty sure that was thickly veiled sarcasm on Sam's part.

[@sadiesins5442]

@@nordveien hard to read sarcasm in general, never mind when you have ASD, though.

[@BIBLE-a-s-m-r]

I love how he said “dragons or robots” and you just “umm..?” Then you gave a thoughtful answer and idk but that’s autistic joy to me that you actually gave a thoughtful answer because it might have been his special interest idk. And instead of ignoring it or finding it bad or uncomfortable you just engaged kindly. That’s why I’m proud to be autistic. I love trees very much and I asked someone at work what tree they’d be and I got a verbal warning for making people uncomfortable. I see red still and it’s been two weeks.

[@MrsYasha1984]

This makes me feel better! I have had a twin pregnancy and birth. After the birth, the non stop baby care started, because twins. My husband, whos also an asperger like me (though back then we didn't know), had at the same time a huge flare up with his collitis ulcerosa, linked to the babies. So everytime one started to cry, he got diarrhea. After my hubby almost died from an obstructed collon caused by his collitis, and me struggling with ten month old babies, I finally called for help because it just was too much. The children are now 6 yo. I have had therapy, and once a month the children spend a WE at their grandparents. They are now in Kindergarten, so I get some quiet time. But I still feel like I'm struggling to get out of that hole I fell in when they were babies. It got better, I don't need to lie down as often during the day, and I can organize better and do some hobbies. But this year with the closed schools and everything was a struggle again, and I need to be careful. I fight everyday to get out of that stupid hole with it's slick walls, and every mistake I make I slide back down again. But I will make it!

[@kathrinm2420]

Minute 46.00 I agree so much! I am in the last state of burnout now and why? Because I could not stop doing research on autism. I downloaded papers on google scholar that got published recently, I watched videos, I understood so much and at one point I had so much compassion with y self that I could not stop crying! It was such an emotional process that by now I am just left without any ressources

[@weavervideo]

Man can I ever relate to that Kathrin! To counterbalance this myself I ensure that I set dedicated and deserved time aside for the healthy simple things in life, the things that when it comes right down to it are all about resting my mind. Some of the things that rejuvenate me is being with Nature (which includes pets of all sorts), listening to light classical music and other instrumental types (I stay away from lyrics as they get my mind going again), and physical exercise. I ensure these things are in my life as a constant. I find I don't have to set time aside to learn about autism as that takes care of itself :). All things in time Kathrin. Be kind to yourself along the way!

[@kathrinm2420]

@@weavervideo Thanks for your words! I was quite successful with that selfcare treatment yesterday. Did a slow walk in the forest and took a bath with mediataion music. I need to learn to do more self care :)

[@francescoleman-williams911]

Funnily enough, I cope relatively ok with things that are “meant” to be stressful because I’m kind to myself, other people recognise they’re stressful and you get a bit to slack in the rest of your life. This means I beat myself up even more for the things that aren’t meant to be stressful because I think “look at that mega stressful thing you coped with fine, why are you finding daily life so stressful?! You’re such a failure.”

[@juiice]

Frances Coleman-Williams Being able to do one thing gives no indication of being able to manage another...this is blatant ableism and grinds my gears. I’m the same though, I’ve had people call me a swan because I look like I’m coping but flapping away (literally sometimes!) underneath. We must do what we can within our own comfort zones. Be kind to yourself 🌸

[@jmjacquard2933]

@@juiice I could not agree more with you! It's like trusting gurus are trustworthy for seeming to know one thing better than those with absolutely no experience. @francescoleman-williams911 I can relate to your message a million percent. Truly, loving ourselves is not a shame!!

[@araya9453]

To Sam thanks for doing this video - it helped me relate to so many people’s experiences via the chat and made me feel less alone. I think for future it would be perfectly acceptable to run a live chat video with small intermissions lasting a few mins or less - perhaps playing a sensory style video or nature view and allowing everyone to ‘catch up with reading chats’, including yourself, as I could totally relate to myself struggling to read chat, listen and contribute, I found it overwhelming so I understood how you felt. Thank you for the video.

[@weavervideo]

And not only perfectly acceptable but perfectly essential! It's the real smart thing to do :)

[@christyS6284]

I was diagnosed borderline autistic and dyslexic when I was 6 years old. I can relate with the things you mentioned hugely. I get burned out very quickly, some people don’t understand why I get so burnt out and I have to tell them and it’s frustrating to have to explain it. But loud events, group hang outs and any kind of loud noises bother me. I can only handle it for a short time. But I can feel burnt out and overwhelmed. I do enjoy hanging with people but I love my quiet more. I have to give myself time in between hang outs with people and going to places because it’s a lot to handle. I tend to get super quiet, my brain fogs out and I loose interest in communicating. It’s a lot of work to communicate and to be expressive and when those around you ask you, what’s wrong? I just want to be left alone and not have to explain myself all the time. When someone asks me what’s wrong, I just brush it off and say I’m fine and will talk about something else to get away from explaining myself.

[@user-td1qb8pi6b]

Oh my god. I have struggled with PMDD for so many years and this is the first time I've heard someone else mention it! I am 21 years old and currently in the process of getting an autism diagnosis. Thank you Sam, your videos are so helpful and reassuring. Whenever I'm feeling burnt out or close to burn out I come and watch your videos ❤️

[@cogit8able]

My daughter has these difficulties. She is only 16 and wants a hysterectomy.... like now.

[@PhoebeK]

Hi, I am glad you found the PMDD young I was not diagnosed until 29 and autism at 31, hold on and fight for what you need. It is ok to decide you need to not have children for your mental heath so ask for a ovariectomy (the hysterectomy is so the progesterone add back which can be one of the problems with PMDD).

[@borb13]

*Constant agitating noise*, yeah, I know what you means; my neighbor does this so often. You explained it very well!

[@iCyFlaMeZ96]

SNIFFING

[@zakzwijn8410]

Marijuana works really well for me. It soothes my mind and unstresses me like nothing else. But in moderation. Only when I do not have to work the next day or have a busy social programme. Because weed influences the REM sleep phase, it's only good if you can stay in bed and sleep as long as you like.

[@alexandrabarnes4511]

I got my autism diagnosis 5 years ago when my kids were 11 and 9 and everything you say about parenting (here and on your video about being an autistic mother) resonates deeply with me. A lot of playgroups were hell for me when the children were little because they clung to me, needing my attention the whole time while I desperately needed other mums to talk and share with but nobody came to talk to me. One time I was in tears because I was so lonely and overwhelmed, with my little boy confused and upset because his mummy was crying. Each one I walked out and never went back. I didn't find proper mum friends until I joined the home education community when my eldest was about 4 and it was through those friends I eventually discovered that my kids are probably both ND and I myself was autistic. I believe I may have been in autistic burnout since losing the 2 pregnancies before my ds1, if not longer, or else in repeated bouts of burnout over the same period, and now am in a pretty low and desperate place longing for some kind of light. I'm being assessed for ADHD next week and just hope the psychiatrist (I've gone private as the NHS takes so long and has been little help so far) can help me somehow otherwise I don't know where to turn for help.

[@someonerandom256]

I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder when I was 4(I realize it's not an official diagnosis on its own, but the doctor told my mother what was going on), and ADHD when I was 9. I've been unmedicated since age 11, except for a Ritalin placebo trial in grade 10. I've never been diagnosed with Autism but my brother and son both have been, and I know I'm autistic. We had a MAJOR move during the height of the pandemic, during which time I had to downsize all of our belongings, repair our home, and sell it, prepare the pets, and then travel halfway across the US, before making arrangements for the rest of the move overseas. By the time we got into our new house and I unpacked halfway, I was completely burnt out. I couldn't finish unpacking and while I managed to continue to plan lessons and homeschool my kids, I just couldn't handle the grading process and put it off as much as possible. We also had family come to visit and they would not leave for 6 months, even though they had come to stay for only 2 weeks. During all of this time I deconstructed from my lifelong religion, and eventually became the happiest and least anxious I've ever been, because I was living in my head and really getting to know myself, but I was still too burnt out to get anything much done physically. I also became more visibly autistic, because I didn't have the energy to mask. A few months ago, 2.5 years into this epic burnout, I realized that I had to get out of this pattern for the sake of my husband and children. I finally went to the doctor and asked to get on medication for my ADHD, and about a month and a half in it really started helping. I've been able to start downsizing again for our next big (and hopefully permanent) move, and I've been able to get a grip on the grading as well. I know Strattera doesn't work well for a lot of ADHDers, but it's really helped pull me out of my head space and back into the "real world." I'm pacing myself this time around to hopefully prevent the burnout from reoccurring.

[@weavervideo]

In Philip Wylie's book Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): How seeking a diagnosis in adulthood can change your life (2014), the terminology used to describe what we are talking about (Autistic Burnout) is mental exhaustion or breakdown. The following is an excerpt from his book. Mental Exhaustion: Many late diagnosed autistic adults experience mental exhaustion due to intense mental activity, and from trying to survive in a 'strange' world using intellect rather than instinct and intuition. Constant brainstorming about how to solve life's problems is very tiring, so whenever possible, physical relaxation is recommended during periods of exhaustion. Without understanding ourselves properly, we are at risk of exceeding our stress threshold. Prolonged intense mental activity without sufficient relaxation can cause our mind to 'crash' - just like a computer system. I have the digital format of this book which is great as it can be searched quickly. The book has numerous references to this phenomenon we are now referring to as Autistic Burnout. Hope this helps provide further support in understanding our specific challenges.

[@___creature]

you making clarifications + being less scripted + seeming less masked all feel so so so supportive to get to witness + be a part of thank you

[@catz537]

I need to look more into this "periods and ADHD/autism" thing...I'm always super dead tired during my period no matter how much I sleep in, and the brain fog is *next level.* There's a term for it - "period brain" - but now I'm wondering if it's worse for autistic people because we get brain fog for no reason all the time lmao. Also I tend to get depressed and have lots of mood changes right before my period starts, during the week leading up to it. I haven't had this happening this past week so much (about to start my period), but it's probably because I'm in a new environment - just started an apprenticeship at a zoo a week ago, so my brain is in learning mode. Anyway, thanks for the video. I learned some things and I really enjoy watching your stuff

[@petermcgee2162]

Personal "stepping out for a smoke" is in response to the presence in mind of stressors that can "rollover" with me bringing on a spike in anxiety very quickly and demanding a change in environment and replacement and redirecting of activity. Perhaps functioning as a stim.

[@nerdipedia1142]

Wow. It’s like you were reporting on my life. I only found out I am autistic a few months ago (I just turned 50) and I am experiencing textbook autistic burnout (I stopped being able to manage masking which was why people started asking what was up with me and one person said, “hey are you autistic? You might think about seeing if you are...”. I’m learning everything I can because I refuse to let this rule the rest of my life. Thank you!!!

[@francescoleman-williams911]

An autism card is fantastic as long as the person you give it to has a clue what it is and what to do!! A long time ago a member of the public was in trouble and gave me a card saying she had seizures. I didn’t have a clue what to do. I tried to help. She told me she was trying to pick up her dog from the vets so I guided her, (she took my arm and leant on me) to the vets, it was about 50 yards away and we took about 5 minutes to get there. When I arrived, the vets knew her and took over her care. I have no idea if I did the right thing???

[@phillipsheehan2765]

It's good to hear someone on the same wavelength. You ease the existential lonelyness.

[@MereAYT]

I really wish I had seen this when I was younger. It explains so much of my life.

[@lindalambert8727]

I think living on pure adrenalin for many years as a nurse caused me to burn out and need a pacemaker at 53.

[@davidstambaugh569]

When ever I reached the point of burn out, I would just quit that job and find an other where they had no idea as to how I could perform.

[@khalyasongofnerdsandwriter5473]

When you said “it can last for decades” I just experienced a literally heart stop. 20 years. Since I was 10, because that’s when I just stopped pretending and started being a totally vile person and generally staying isolated and just - reading, to avoid... uh... triggering events I won’t say, because y e a h... And my life makes more sense...

[@metalchemik]

I couldn't agree more. All this years filled by turmoils with NTs. And saddest thing is, I cannot get better by changing surroundings causing my burnout - because I am burnout. This makes me cry. And all the people who sais I'm the-pressed (or "deep-(un)-rest" if You like). Or I'm just faking. Faking!

[@phillipsheehan2765]

Mulungu Bark is a gentler sedative then Valerian. Scullcap is good if you are kept awake by a busy mind.

[@theunboiledfrog1258]

This hit home for me. I work with traumatised young people some of whom are autistic. I have to mask while they are able to express their behaviours, for example I have to be quiet and not make a lot of noise as it triggers them, while they bang around and yell at me and I can’t react or be triggered. Ok maybe not the best job choice for an autist, but I am still not formally diagnosed. I come home absolutely exhausted and can not function in the rest of my life. The other exhausting thing I have realised is that I have my grand children, both toddlers once a week, and my parents insist on visiting me at the same time. This is just so stressful! I can barely deal with the toddlers (who I love dearly and want to spend time with, but then my mother wants my attention and my dad has dementia and I just about scream because in all of this no one thinks about my needs, including me. Right now I am just so burnt out but hav two go on pretending everything is fine, because I don’t have a diagnosis, no one cares about my needs.

[@terrah3735]

I completely understand what you're going through. My husband had brain surgery last year, his mother moved in with us and her health at that time was declining and my daughter & grandbaby were living with us. Not only was I taking care of my husband, mother inlaw & grandchild but I was trying to hold down a full-time job which ironically was similar to yours. I was completely depleted/burnout. I decided things had to change so I changed careers, set a schedule for times that I'm available to babysit and made time to do things I like to do which serves as my therapy. I wish you all the best.

[@araya9453]

I understand, family/relationship and works pressures are a big part of what led me to a bad burnout (as well financial and health issues), I think speaking your mind and asking for space is important, explain how you feel and don’t worry about offending anyone. Many in my family think I’m selfish because I like to be alone, or demand less erratic family stuff, but in the end it protects you from burnout and that is crucial, I’ve been in bad burnout for years now and lost everything because I didn’t stop.

[@juiice]

You’ve got so much going on. I can relate to the having to mask to prevent triggering others. I’m the same with my children but they trigger me too. I don’t get a minute to myself and haven’t for many years. If nobody else is thinking about your needs I think you need to stand up and do something (so much easier said than done I know) - it’s ok to tell your parents that’s not a convenient time to visit. It’s ok to see your grandchildren without being responsible for them. It’s ok to use that time to look after yourself. And it’s also ok to look into a career change or break if you can afford it. You’re doing so much for others, that can’t continue to work if you’re not ok. This might sound harsh but all of the people you take care of have other people who can take care of them for a while, sounds like you don’t. Take care of you 💐

[@catherinejames2734]

This is a really important area needed for discussion. Especially in that doctors don’t understand it. My doctor has been trying to help diagnose what has been happening to me regularly for almost a year now. I keep notes with great detail because I want to know why I keep physically collapsing almost monthly sometimes within only two weeks. I can’t function for days at a time, absolutely smashed. My sensitivity is extreme at these times, I can hardly touch surfaces. When I recover I am almost hyperactive. I have also been trying to stop masking as it’s exhausting me to the point I just want to stay home alone , socialising has become really stressful. I also don’t want people to know what I’m experiencing it just makes me feel like I’m failing at life.

[@catherinejames2734]

@michele0324 thank you, I'll look at what that is.

[@McBlammy]

As an autistic person dealing with burnout right now, I'm in the process of quitting my job and probably leaving my stressful career permanently because I need a rest and if I don't get it its going to lead to worse mental and physical problems than I already have. I like how youtube is recommending you cabins in Sweden because honestly all I want to do right now is disappear to a cabin in the forest someplace and sleep for a year.

[@Jamie_Wilson]

I think I'm going to use this video to remind myself that I'm totally normal in some communities, I'm just not normal in "their" community. This feels nice, this feels like belonging, anyone else know what I mean? Like I feel like all you guys are here cheering me on (sorry to use guys, I just completely missed all the pronoun stuff when it first became prominent... guys means all of you, I really don't mean to offend anyone, it just feels like masking to do that stuff when I don't really do it... anyway lol) On that tangent 😅 Yeah, this is a nice video

[@stephaniebennett7149]

I actually did leave the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas area and moved to rural Oklahoma. I'm 52 years old and not diagnosed. However, everything you say is describing my life and I know that I'm burned out with my career. Thank you for your channel and the excellent content! ❤

[@pnutqpublic]

this has been popping up in my suggested videos for a while and i've been procrastinating watching it cuz it's so long 😂 but today i had time and i'm glad i watched it. i'm also even kinda glad it turned out to be a live because your comment section was almost as helpful to me as you were.

[@lisakukla459]

I'm incredibly interested in this topic, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to either watch this is short segments or wait until it's presented in an organized, scripted video format. Ironically, I'm finding myself getting quite agitated, but in a good natured, amused kind of way. It's not lost on me. 😆

[@madeleinehenricsson226]

I don't know how to thank you enough for this video. I have it in the background and listen and it's SOOO SPOT ON. When I crashed because of total devistating enviroment at work. The boss were not there or the one responsible for our schedule the first three days after a BIG change. They left us to solve it ourselves. I crashed within 5 days and I was away for over half year. Everytime theres a crash it take longer to come back. Also have 2 kids with own difficulties within the spectrum added to the situation.

[@SarahAndreaRoycesChannel]

The last year I learned that I definitely have inattentive ADHD, while not diagnosed pretty much proven because the appropriate medication helped. Which I got because I described my problems but suspected depression. And I was depressed (and pretty much burned out). And now I learned that still some of the symptoms I at first attributed to that might in fact be overlooked ASD (some are obviously in opposition ;-) ) I have not an official diagnoses for either, but just knowing and looking up tips from channels like HowToADHD and your channel not only helps a lot, but also is very relaxing and I haven't got depressed and even became productive again because I stopped beating myself up about the executive problems. With all that said, I actually don't think a diagnosis for ASD will help me in any further way (ADHD yes, because of the medication) after all my experiences with the existing health care. In fact I would not trust any outcome of a diagnosis, positive or negative because of that. The important thing is that I learned what helps me ;-)

[@clarissahansen6242]

How on earth do you get medication without a diagnosis of ADHD? I've been diagnosed for 12 years and it's still nearly impossible for me to get my prescription.

[@SarahAndreaRoycesChannel]

@@clarissahansen6242 Wellbutrin, the medication in question, has several use cases. In my case it was depression. It is also very helpful with addictions.

[@cogit8able]

When I was diagnosed with Aspergers they also diagnosed me with ADD. They prescribed me 50 mg adderall daily. The organizational difficulties that sent me to get assessment didn’t improve at all on the medication. I asked coworkers and they thought that I was less distracting for them. I developed a heart arrhythmia due to the adderall.. while on the med. SVT , I was totally not interested in food. I had to take it with breakfast and then had no interest in food for the rest of the day. I also had no sense of humor. Nothing was funny. I was not funny. I am usually funny. So I was experiencing anhedony as a side effect. Since food and humor are my coping mechanism I became depressed. I was exhausted when I got gone from work and went straight to bed. I discontinued the Adderall. Sadly I still have the SVT heart arrhythmia from my time on adderol. There’s no medications to treat ASD. I feel that the psychiatrist was quick to prescribe for the ADD because otherwise he had nothing to offer me.

[@cogit8able]

I suspect I do have ADD because Adderall is a CNS stimulant and except for the cardiac arrhythmia which was intermittent. I was not sped up. I was tired AF.

[@darksinge]

For me, watching you struggle through this live stream was so relatable that it was more helpful than the actual words you said. Ironically, I think it added to your credibility!

[@13saz]

The fact that you even attempted a live chat is amazing. I can so relate to the struggles that you are having during this. It requires some serious multitasking and ability to shift focus. It must be really challenging for NT, never mind us with ASC

[@cherylyoke4872]

I was on edge enough that my voice was often very brusque which was off putting for my students. Sometimes it caused escalations of bad behavior and there were behavior problems in my classrooms. I found that if I took the time to explain some of my communication problems with my students, and if they were good hearted enough to listen, our relationships greatly improved. At that time I had no inkling that I might be on the spectrum, but now it seems so clear that I had a great deal of trouble with over stimulation to sound.

[@niamh7047]

This live was great! Love the lighting in the background. It’s so calming. Boundaries for me was the best thing I learned and am still learning to do. I’m very sensitive and have very delicate limits so I’m working on being kinder to myself. That helps me personally with not dealing with too many burnouts.

[@rhuechantal6316]

I love your content, and appreciate your candid approach. I felt with you the frustration of having to split your attention in half between conveying a much needed message, and multi tasking the flittering incoming chat. I thank you for trying to take that on. Certainly I could not do it and would incessantly lose my train of thought had I tried. I hope this is not discouraging to you at all but encourages you that I understand. Conversation and awareness of autistic burnout definitely needs to be discussed, acknowledged, researched and understood so that we can thrive. Thank you for spearheading this topic and sharing your invaluable experience.

[@catherinejames2734]

So glad to hear that you experience irritability. Well, I mean, only because I have been so irritable, I really can’t be around anyone. My poor husband needs to stay away yet, at the same time help me. It’s a hell situation. So you mentioning your irritability is just helping me understand it’s part of it all. Thank you.

[@melhorsey5771]

It has taken me a couple of weeks to listen to all of this, and it was worth it 🙂 thank you.

[@macaroniheart444]

I have been randomly selecting Yo Sammity Sam (sp?) KZbin episodes (?). I really appreciate this one in particular. I have anxiety, depression and OCD. I am contemplating my Autistic traits, not easy to distinguish from the trama of my childhood. For too long of my life I have been totally unaware of my own challenges. I just assumed I was like everyone else. So why, when I thought I was working so hard, did situations deteriorate and explode, my melt downs increasing in severity?! So much of what was said in this video is relatable to me because I have been living it. So now I am slowing way down. I thought it was what one is suppose to do, constantly be busy. But now on super simple mode My mind has space to process and grow!

[@SueLyons1]

PMD 'one day of wishing myself out of existence' I used to have what I called an Ugly Week where everything did not appear rosy at all, especially inside.

[@Rogue136]

I find it funny when people say 9:30-10 is an early night. I basically pass out at that time just so I can get up in time for work at 0730. Its because my quality of sleep sucks.

[@Jen.K]

Yep, me too, I've needed a solid 9 hours my whole life.

[@lilykatmoon4508]

I’m just realizing I’m autistic and have been in burnout for at least a decade. In and out of the hospital with more than one break due to mental breakdown.

[@fabienneboniface6167]

"I amuse myself" 😂 im doing this too, i call it autojoke lol

[@magicalsimmy]

My dad recently died, right after I left an abusive relationship, and the past 3 years it has been so hard. Caring for my mom now and she is a covert narcissist (I won’t get into it, but it’s bad). I hardly leave the house and can’t seem to motivate myself to get a job. I was hired on with 2 different jobs, but they were very high stress jobs with authoritarian management who wouldn’t make accommodations or compromise in any way, and I left after a day or two. I feel like a broken human being now who just can’t deal with anything, as dealing with my mother and the grief of losing the easier to deal with parent is triggering enough. I just don’t have it in me to do anything anymore.

[@marydesmond2102]

Sam....this is my second video of yours . You are authentic.I had prementral tension too =Hormonal. Natural remedies.x

[@oaklandkiwi]

What remedies work for you?

[@YawninHaze]

Before I even consider that I was on the spectrum (I'm self diagnosed but will definitely look into getting officially diagnosed once I get a new job), I noticed that my ability to communicate well with others becomes very difficult during heavy work days/months. For awhile now nearly everyday, past 4pm, my words start to jumble up, my thoughts become fuzzy, very short term memory, it takes a lot of effort/usually gives me a terrible headache to form sentences and continue conversation with others. Until I saw this stream I thought I was losing it since no one that I know personally goes through this to this extent and think I'm crazy whenever I explain these symptoms to them. So after hearing that this is more than likely related to autistic burn out, is very reassuring to me. My speech does get better after a lot of relax time. I just wish it didn't happen as often since it is extremely frustrating not being able to converse with others comfortably after 4pm. Especially when you want to spend time with friends and not come off as awkward or always out of it. I'm currently going through major burnout and I hope to soon find some time to recollect myself before I go job searching.

[@kj3d812]

Thank you for this video! I'm really glad you mentioned your friend who moved into an apartment with not necessarily high-decibel noise but irritating, constant, agitating noise -- I'm in that same boat! We live in a condo and the guy next door was, for a while, playing his music for 6-8 hours straight every night, VERY loud, so much that our walls were rattling. After several requests he finally turned it down, once my husband told him I have ASD/Asperger's. The music level is better now, but there's that constant low bass boom-boom-boom-boom, for hours on end, which is just so grating on my nerves. I have a degree in classical music and am extremely sensitive to both music and sound in general, so even with his music turned low it's a near-constant irritant. My computer desk where I work is in the living room (which shares a wall with our neighbor;s condo) so I can't just go to another room to get away from the noise. I get so exhausted trying to block out the seemingly neverending "dance club" next door.

[@melaniemiller3888]

Thank you for validating my burnout experience. I was so confused on what was going on.

[@paulineburke7965]

I'm a teacher and I so get it. I'm in Italy and I'm Irish. Every day I put on a smile to give decent lessons. The price I pay is very high. I also have a disorder calked Distonia so I have constant pain and can't control the movement of my head. Thanks for sharing 💚 I know burnout! Much love. Yes, I have so many coping strategies!

[@jonbowzy511]

hi stay strong hun.

[@elisenieuwe4649]

Yes, we have a lot of organizations and policies to help people with autism here. I'm glad you've got that support as well.

[@rollings2035]

Wonderful! We can live comfortably & happily, it's just there's lots of strategies we need to implement.

[@spirituallawyer]

Sam I don’t know how to thank you for what you say about autistic parenting burn out. I am 55 and have four autistic kids and I have been in almost permanent burn out since the birth of my first child. I am only now realising I am autistic too.

[@JUDE11236]

I self diagnosed my PMDD 20+ years ago. My psychiatrist finally diagnosed the PMDD in 2014. I self diagnosed my autism - actually a friend's son (12 at the time - 2009) was diagnosed with Asperger's, and she told me that I did so many of the same behaviors as he was doing. That's when I started doing research and agreed with my friend - I'm autistic. My youngest daughter's therapist is assessing her for Autism. I'm trying to persuade my new psychiatrist to do an assessment on me. And THANK YOU! You're amazing!

[@lightbeingform]

Loss of skills Increasing sensitivity to stimuli Cognitive: Speech becoming more difficult Decision making Mood executive function memory

[@jennaurban9199]

I have been burnt out for like a month and its definitely not the first time its happened. Last time it lasted like a year and I started panicking when I felt myself slipping back into it again. Anyway, I find your authenticity so relatable. We definitely seem to have the same "flavor" of autism lol. And by that I mean the autism/probable ADHD combo. I found this video helpful and thank you for taking the time to make it.

[@sampreston1791]

Struggling with burn out atm and can not mask so yeah, its really hitting home. Only issue is trying to get referral as ive realised ASD is probably why I have nothing to show for my life at 42. Last public meltdown was on a university trip to Spain a few years ago and I couldn't explain it, couldn't get support... its been horrible from school to work to personal life. I'm not sure how to get better as my situation isn't going to change as it revolves around my son and his ongoing crisis, supporting my ASD partner etc.. it's like I'm trying to mitigate or mask on behalf of both of us to keep our world turning. Court hearings, hospital or care home visits, driving in rush hour, social workers ... chores are all me and overwhelming. I actually went to university to do wildlife conservation because I do thrive outside in nature. I'd curl up and die in a city

[@jacquelinemackie4395]

I have always been a people pleaser, and it's exhausing. I think I gave up at some point, but old habits die hard

[@moshballs7477]

I am loving your channel. Thanks for all u do.

[@EricMHowardII-yh1rn]

Running out of words in connection to answering personal questions can be an real challenge for me . Thank You for talking about this matter 50:57 wholeheartedly.

[@sabserab]

So glad I found your channel. Missed the leve stream bc of time zones. Ah yes, lovely greetings from Germany

[@purplequeen8298]

Nature helps me a lot. Makes me more positive. 🦋

[@marlls1989]

You simply described me after a week at work with multiple meetings

[@marlls1989]

After getting at this point I have to isolate completely from everyone around me for one or two days, seek nature and avoid crowds.

[@marlls1989]

To avoid getting to a completely trashed out state I add coffee break after meetings to recharge, but this just reduces my crashes to a single lazy Saturday

[@marlls1989]

It helps that I work in academia and the only hard appointments are the meetings, the rest is mostly on demand deadline driven work. So I can easily just say “I am working from home today” when I don’t have the energy to go to the uni

[@seemag9095]

You're awesome :) I see myself in a lot of what you say, and really appreciate you putting this out there. Thank you

[@MissL4lly]

I come across not in a way intended, I try so hard to tone "me" down. I'm finally on a pathway to investigate ASD. I'm 54 and so tired. I find that with your channel I can relate. Thank you.

[@sayusayme7729]

Wow, yes. Thank you. So much 💙

[@annarehbinder7540]

Can’t sleep before 23.30 but honestly better for me around 02 in the morning.

[@jeremie4219]

Thank you. It was a really good live. Maybe a next live could be about difficulties in social communication and social interaction, and what it looks like in everyday life. I don't find videos on this subject on youtube.

[@drewharris7785]

I love your lamp with the colors!

[@AbolishTheATF]

The part about your friend living in a noisy area is so relatable. I moved to a city and the constant stimulation is draining but I thought I was crazy for thinking that bc at the time I didn’t know anything about autism