Autistic Burnout To Autistic Psychosis

[@sejhammer]

I have definitely experienced this. Also autistic, diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a child, ADHD at age 14, PTSD at age 24, panic disorder age 31, finally ASD at age 34. The trauma connection is really big. I think we are more sensitive to accumulating trauma.

[@-book]

I experienced similar thought patterns from 8-12ish years old. I had the same sorts of thoughts of being spied on and accidentally killing people with my thoughts. I knew it wasn't real, but it FELT so real. Even when you aren't actively distressed by the thoughts, the feeling of two parts of your brain disagreeing is deeply uncomfortable. I wish I could describe it.

[@DanaAndersen]

Absolutely, having to convince yourself of something you know you shouldn’t be convinced of in the first place is such a strange experience to have

[@flowntheloop]

I am autistic (also diagnosed with OCD and CPTSD), and my autistic burnouts can absolutely lead to mental health crises. For a long time I thought that it was some form of psychosis (it has definitely felt akin to it at its worst), but I think a lot of mine is severe intrusive thoughts that come with my OCD-that for some reason get triggered when I’m deep in a major burnout. In the past year, I also started experiencing false memory OCD, and that made it all the more terrifying. I really appreciate your honest and open videos. You are so right that this is still such a taboo topic and it is nice to hear that I’m not alone in these fluctuations in mental health. Edit: it may be worth noting/exploring that several mental health diagnoses are comorbid/co-occurring with autism. This includes ADHD, OCD, and bipolar disorder to my knowledge

[@alix8503]

The irrational beliefs you mention sound a LOT like they could be OCD actually! Like I know for a fact that I closed the window, I clearly remember doing it 2 minutes ago, but my brain still tells me I forgot. I'm convinced but I'm not. OCD is a super common comorbidity with autism, especially when there's also trauma in the mix, and it can be about quite literally anything one could possibly feel anxious or uncomfortable or unsettled about, not just the typical themes portrayed in media! Especially this "I did X random thing or thought X kind of thought and somehow caused Y to happen" is a super typical theme, often referred to as magical thinking OCD. Definitely worth looking into if you haven't already, as someone with episodic bouts of OCD (who also gets them more frequently in times of stress and burnout!) you've described it better than I've ever heard without naming it lol.

[@flowntheloop]

Yes! My intrusive thoughts and false memory OCD get triggered (see my comment above) whenever I get deep into a burnout. It can be terrifying

[@DanaAndersen]

See it’s a toughie because I’ve thought this too, and looked into it a lot, but when I brought it up to doctors they say ‘nope, not OCD, dunno what it is tho’ 😅

[@alix8503]

@@DanaAndersenIf you've been to doctors who weren't specialised in OCD, many of them only recognise the most stereotypical themes and not the pattern behind them that can pop up with any subject matter. The good old "but you don't clean or check your locks all the time, so it can't be OCD!" nonsense. Idk how accessible it would be for you to get reassessed with someone more specialised, but even without a diagnosis it might be helpful to look into OCD-focused online communities and self-management strategies, to see if those might work for you? It definitely sounds like the OCD pattern to me as a random outside person who is also biased (lol), even if it doesn't meet clinical criteria. Ultimately, if a strategy helps, it helps, regardless of official labels. That's just my 2cts though, definitely take that with a big grain of salt bc, ya know, biased online stranger and all that lol. All the best to you either way!!

[@stephenie44]

The world of OCD confuses me. On one hand, I see how it’s its own thing, on the other hand there are so many versions that sound a lot like other experiences. There is a website called neurodivergentinsights that has a section called Misdiagnosis Mondays with a bunch of Venn diagrams that compare and contrast diagnoses. I wonder if their OCD ones would be helpful.

[@stephenie44]

I think I have obsessive thoughts, but they’re mostly pattern related and don’t cause stress. Like, my apartment building has some 2 bedroom units, and some one bedroom units, and every time I walk by the building, my brain is trying to sort out which units are which, even though it’s really not important. I genuinely have better thoughts to think, but my brain does it automatically, and I think it will continue to do that until I figure out the pattern. 🤦‍♀️ 🤷‍♀️ I was talking to my partner about it, and we admittedly have lots to stress about, and she said, “well it’s much easier (less stressful) to focus my attention on a non-problem than to just walk around trying to solve our real problems. Admittedly, when I’m more burnt out, the thoughts take a different turn. Sometimes it helps me to assign a function to the thoughts. Like, oh, that’s my brain wanting a break from life’s problems, but not actually feeling relaxed enough to day dream/not problem solve. Not sure if any of my babbling is relevant, sorry if it sounds condescending or something, I’m not trying to be.

[@blouburkette]

Well I just finished bawling my God damn eyes out. Four years ago I experienced an "extreme mental health event". I got diagnosed with this that and the other but nothing really felt like it fit. Doctor after doctor. First the docs gave up then I did. This made me do a Google and I cannot fracking believe this. I was just diagnosed autistic a year ago. So much makes sense. You have said you're not perfect (cause like duh no one is) and I never want to put anyone on a pedestal so I want to be clear: you just making this video alone and me just coming across it has shifted my view of myself in literal minutes. I have been living with anxiety for YEARS thinking there is just think evil think lurking in me (I don't want to imply mental illness is evil lurking, it's just how it felt internally since I could not name it.) That I'm hiding it from myself but I swear I'm not and the thought loop goes on. Now to have this explanation? Well that's not anything evil, that's just my body sending off alarm signals. Just like any other disorder. Just my brain doing a brain. Thank you for being you Dana. Keep on trucking. Love from the Midwest us of a.

[@DanaAndersen]

Well damn, thanks for making me shed a tear too 😭😂 I know I’ve said it a million times now and will probably say it a million more, but I’m very much trying to say the things I’ve needed to hear at various times in these videos, my content is very much intended to be the thing that prompts a thought that helps someone out even just a tiny bit, so comments like this and knowing it’s actually happening really mean more to me than I’ll ever be able to express 😭 We’re all in this together and I’m so glad that just chatting about some of the horrid crap I’ve had to endure can turn into something positive 💕

[@Scarygothgirl]

All my life I've been struggling with unexplained mental health events (as well as physical and neurological health stuff) than all seemed unexplained and unconnected. Since understanding that I'm autistic I've started putting all the pieces together and all these different events are all explained by different aspects of autism. At times I thought I might be schizophrenic or bipolar or just "completely insane". But now I know I'm not broken, I'm just autistic ❤️

[@edensummerlin1638]

I'm autistic and have been delusional since childhood. Sometimes it's worse than others. Sometimes it's connected to my OCD. I am always aware on some level that the thoughts are not true and not rational. I always have "insight" into my delusions. The closest thing is Delusional Disorder but I agree with you that I think it's just because I'm autistic, and there's something going on with autism and delusional thinking that hasn't been studied enough yet.

[@gabby222themoon]

I think it’s a comorbidity of something we’re experiencing as autistics, and maybe it presents slightly different CUZ we’re autistic. But not all autistic ppl experience these things so it can’t just be bc we’re autistic. Yk?

[@Bokatisha1234]

I've had very similar periods of time, especially during very stressful parts in my life, and I've mostly taken it as "Stress is giving me weirder intrusive thoughts". I actually had a very similar "My cat is a spy" intrusive thought that I'd talk myself out of every single day for a month a couple years ago. Mental health issues and stress and autism makes the most weird potion in your brain.

[@Hopie_T]

I remember listening to this story from Rotten Mango about a schizophrenic family, where there were many kids and a lot of them, after a point, started getting diagnosed with schizophrenia after some kind of extreme stressful event. And I don't remember exactly what it was called, but from what I understood, a lot of the siblings had hallucinations and delusions to one degree or another, but most of them understood they weren't real. Only a couple of them were 100% convinced they were real. And that differentiation in diagnosis has a name that I don't remember Now I'm not saying that's what it is, or that it has to do with schizophrenia at all, I'm just bringing it up to say that... what kind of people are these doctors? You tell them something extreme like that and they go "well if you don't believe it you're fine"? So if a person is hallucinating a bunch of disturbing stuff or has violent intrusive thoughts, it's okay as long as they don't believe they are real? That's so effed up, sometimes it feels like nobody cares. As for it being a function of autism that's not mentioned often... I believe it. I mean autistic adults are so understudied, it wouldn't surprise me. I myself haven't had extreme things like believing I harmed someone, but I do have weird, sticky thoughts that make no sense and are hard to shake once they are in. And I haven't been through the kind of stress you have. It would be nice to not be dismissed left and right all the time, but I kind of get it. We really aren't equipped as a society to take care of everyone. That's why self diagnosis and finding answers through the internet and through community is so important, because for many of us, you might not get a chance to be evaluated and helped by a professional and it would be a shame to be able to get comfort in other ways and not utilize it because it's not considered valid.

[@DanaAndersen]

I’ve deleted a couple of comments that seemed to assume I’m talking about something schizophrenia related, and though I see where the similarities can be drawn, I really don’t think it’s related to my experiences, so really appreciate you bringing up a different case without that implication! I think it’s much more similar to what you call your sticky thoughts, but that bit more extreme and hard to shake. A few other comments have mentioned OCD, which i think is more likely, but if there’s a super high number of autistic people experiencing something, I am personally more inclined to assume it’s autism related with crossover, like how I had many doctors look into diagnosing me with bipolar or BPD, only to decide it didn’t quite line up 😅 I’ve definitely benefitted more from community support than I have any doctor I’ve visited anyway!

[@JonBrase]

​@@DanaAndersenEarly descriptions of autism described it as childhood-onset schizophrenia, or as a "schizoid disorder". Schizophrenia tends to have adult onset, does not have RRB as a diagnostic criterion, and is characterized by psychosis that is usually not present in autism, but can look similar socially (flat affect, social withdrawal, etc). I am inclined to wonder if a large fraction of schizophrenia cases aren't actually cases where a high-masking, undiagnosed autistic individual develops plain old psychosis under stresses that also cripple their ability to mask (thus an apparent "adult onset" of social symptoms).

[@RainyDayWithTheSpoon]

@@DanaAndersen Hi Dana. I have commented elsewhere. I find your writing somewhat easier to digest. Tell me please.. do you have a blog [I cannot follow your speech [audio or transcript]]. Thanks. 🙂

[@BubblegumFace48]

I’ve never commented on a youtube video in my life but I had to for this one! I can *completely* relate to these patterns of thoughts, and they’re so scary and feel so real/ out of control. I know another comment already said this, but I wanted to also say that in my experience it also turned out to be OCD! Non-stereotypical OCD patterns are so easily missed by doctors. In my case the app NOCD has helped me so tremendously. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this, and whatever it turns out to be, I wish you the best of luck!!

[@steveneardley7541]

Thanks for sharing a practical tip. These websites can be such a godsend.

[@steveneardley7541]

I have diaries from the 1970s where I was so CRAZY. I put the diary on disk, and it was so disturbing to read, that I just deleted the worst entries from the file. I think I've developed more "mental hygiene" since then so I don't go to those places anymore. I saved one written section of the diary (that was really bad) just to remind me of where I've been. I haven't read it for years, and have no desire to do so.

[@dalekblep8136]

God the "i'm always told i'm smart enough to figure it out on my own" is like such a crappy way to just not help soemone who's asking for your help like??? Especially when you go to a professional for it and they brush it off... I took time off of my day to come see you so that's probably the only event i'll be able to attend today and you tell me to f off and figure it out myself when it's what i'm struggling with in the first place??? Ugh

[@niloc4627]

Dana, thanks for this video: what you're presenting here is very important. Once again, we see how far behind mental health research is. In 2006, a very similar thing happened to me (this was 16 years before my own diagnosis). I thought members of my family were plotting against me and accusing me of various crimes. I was also seeing and hearing things that were not real. The logical part of my brain knew this wasn't genuine, but my emotional response was pure terror. I eventually came out of it, but it took me a few years to "cleanse" my brain and learn to think straight again. Purely for myself, I would call it severe dissociation, rather psychosis, because I could recognise the real from the unreal. The mental health services were very dismissive towards me as well. Colin

[@jenniferhenderson2715]

Highly relatable. I was once on a ladder painting my house. My husband was away about to drive home. I got this sudden sense of dread that something horrible was going to happen. So I started praying nonstop for protection for my family. I went inside, went on Facebook, and found a man in our church had been killed when his tractor flipped on him. It happened while I was praying, and I was immediately convinced it was my fault. My family was kept safe, so another husband, father, son was killed. It has been 13 years, and I still feel like it was my fault. I KNOW I had nothing to do with it, but I still FEEL like it was my fault. Such things have happened over and over from childhood on. And while I KNOW my thoughts on such things aren't true, I still feel like they are true and it alters how I live and function. There are others, not as drastic, where I KNOW something not to be true, but still have thoughts as if it is.

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

Sounds like a psychic thing. But religion causes mental illness. Sort yourself self out. I have many psychic occurrences

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

I’ve had very similar experiences and thinking patterns

[@gabby222themoon]

I’m autistic adhd generalized anxiety diagnosis but I truly believe it’s more OCD than GAD. but anyway during burnout I experienced psychosis in the same way you describe. It’s so awful and scary. I’m sorry you haven’t gotten the answers or help you need. I feel you on this.

[@jentaslar166]

You tell about paranoia. Did you ever have hallucinations? I was told by psychiatrist that i might be high functioning autistic. I have had things you describe whole my life and it is SO relatable! I was told i am on schizophrenic spectrum as well but doctors find me "weird" one because of awareness. Like other docs told im healthy because im self aware, even tho i have most of symptoms of schizophrenia, but somewhy im self aware, and it doesnt reduce symptoms in any way. I have a lot of autistic traits. Psychosis does increase so much with burnouts. I had a lot for life. And once my psychosis turned to a very bad psychotic break where i wasnt anymore self aware, then i got my diagnosis in fact. In my childhood (i have psychotic periods since very early childhood, i was probably born with this) i wasnt self aware too. But became one closer to my 20s. Some doctors still dont believe me, saying im healthy and my symptoms and experience are schizophrenic disorder but weird one, because i know whats happening with me. But might it be autistic trait too...

[@MADDCLOWN]

People with schizophrenia can be self aware. A lot of them You could have both autism and schizophrenia spectrum

[@jentaslar166]

@MADDCLOWN Yep. I know, that I'm self aware and at the same time I'm on the schizophrenic spectrum. Explain that to those doctors I visited, they believed me only when I was young enough to not be self aware... Thank you for reply tho :)

[@gmlpc7132]

I think what you are describing is similar to intrusive thoughts which are often highly irrational. The person who has these knows the thoughts don't make any sense (a key difference from a psychotic person who insists their beliefs are true) but the thoughts still trouble them and affect their behaviour. These thoughts can even have an almost supernatural aspect where a person believes some "force" will make their actions have these extraordinary effects. I often have beliefs that if I don't act in a particular way something bad, maybe even awful, will happen to me at some future point, vastly in excess of what I've done. I know this makes no sense but "to be on the safe side" I follow the action or ritual. This is really a form of OCD with superstitious aspects. I suppose we have to defy and challenge the thoughts rather than letting them control our behaviour but it's hard to do so.

[@radishraven9]

I don't think I've experienced this but from my observations of a friend of mine and patients I've encountered, autistics that have comorbid OCD are more likely to have some psychotic tendencies. When i was a junior doctor in psychiatry last spring this doctor who worked with autistic people said that often risperidon or quetiapin (mild antipsychotics) can be beneficial for autistic people who are in severe depression or have a lot of anxiety. I was confused, but it really did seem to work!

[@DanaAndersen]

It’s so frustrating because I’ve had several times I’ve been certain I have OCD, but every doctor I’ve spoke to has downplayed it and told me my experiences don’t line up well enough 🙃💕

[@stephaniesisson9318]

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression then BPD then Bipolar and had episodes of psychosis before working out (on my own) that I was likely Autistic then got myself referred for a diagnosis. I now have a diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. They removed my bipolar diagnosis but kept the BPD/EUPD diagnosis on! I wasted so many years trying to get help but ending up on every drug that big pharma have made for mental health issues that never helped but made me worse. I dont recommend the psych drugs, im surprised im still alive after all i went through while trying to get help! My psychosis was similar to what you describe but with the help of illegal drugs it would sometimes become more real/seem real to me when most of the time i had been aware it wasnt normal/real.

[@rebeccalivingston7465]

Omg me too. I've been diagnosed anxiety, depression and BPD with a differential of bipolar. Experienced psychosis, attmited myself. Now I'm on the journey of trying to get assessed for ASD. 💜💜💜💜

[@piddlydiddly]

Thank you for this. 10 years ago I lost my brother the same week I found out I was pregnant and this tiny little pixel thought said I killed him because I got pregnant, I created life so clearly destroyed his. When child was born things got worse when, like you, I was fearful of being alone and watched by child and mental health crisis got involved etc, they said it was PND but with "a bit of psychosis" but I knew it was all absolutely ridiculous, but it didn't make it go away. It's come and gone since, always comes when I'm really stressed, sleep deprived and in a "depressive episode/burnout". Drs have never wanted to treat the psychosis part because they've always been like "but you know it's not real" and that's true, but antidepressants and cbt, which is all I get offered instead, makes zero difference. URGH. Love your videos

[@lesliekarl3594]

I have had experiences like this in the past and it's always so distressing, adding to the never-ending spiral of shame. I did not fit the criteria for any mental illness (besides anxiety/depression), so it didn't make sense on where it was coming from. I was just diagnosed ASD/ADHD earlier this year and now it makes all the sense. Thanks for speaking about this Dana!

[@Reed5016]

Holy sh*t. Autistic psychosis is probably a description to certain situations I’ve been in, too.

[@flyygurl18]

Covid was the weirdest experience and it's unsurprising to hear everyone had an adverse reaction in one way or the other. I agree with lots of people in the comments suggesting it might be worth investigating the possibility of OCD. There's elements of magical thinking ocd to you experiences which I can relate to. thanks again for sharing so candidly

[@espressosoup]

I'm shocked at how much I relate to this. I haven't been able to get therapy, or really even go to the doctor for probably a couple decades cause I'm poor AF. Also didn't know I was autistic until about a year ago, but long story short I've been tortured by events like what you're describing off and on throughout my life and it's taken a huge toll on my mental and emotional health. Thank you so much for describing this 😂

[@PlumDreams]

thanks for sharing your story, I relate to a lot of it. growing up and being told, when opening up and asking for help, "oh damn that IS pretty weird. huh. ur smart tho u got this :)" is so isolating and defeating. fucking hurts, man. I have faith I can move past this, heal from it, whatever, but right now I'm in the brain-foggy self-care phase you described. are there things that you/anyone know that helped you out of that weird state of.. idk, constant petty internal conflict? that's how it feels for me. it can lead to very embarrassing and frustrating behavior, and I'm amazed that I can't just.. *not* do this shit, despite knowing it's irrational and not helping me. I *know* I must not be alone in this. again, you're awesome for sharing.

[@Cedrinya]

I just recently got Diagnosed with Autism and you and other creators helped me on this journey so I want to thank you so much for that. I useally don't comment but your Videos help me a lot! I have like similar experiences on a daily bases that I can not really put into words. Often, when waiting on a bus, while talking with someone or similar scenarios (I can't really pin point it), I get into these dissociated states where I blank out, am full on in my head and stories (Often involving my surroundings and people I talk to at the moment) are starting to form. Sometimes the Stories only involve simple conversation but sometimes they are full on heated discussions or something like that and I feel the emotions, I'm having in that made up Story, in my body. I get full on angry until I get out of this state and afterwards I just hope no one noticed what happened. It can get really scary sometimes and I can't control it in any way. I know all of these storys that are forming are completely not real and involuntarily fabricated but in that very moment I'm honestly scared by them. I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with Autism and is another byproduct by all the Mental Stress I indured my entire life without knowing I am Autistic.

[@Scarygothgirl]

It's happened to me several times. As a teenager I was convinced that I had caused the death of a family friend who had died of a heart attack. I don't know how to reach out for help when I am in that place. In the past I've tried and my friends haven't understood that I've been delusional, instead I have convinced them of my delusions. It's really frightening that when I'm in that place I'm better at convincing people of my delusion than I am at accessing help. I don't want people to believe my delusions. I want to be helped.

[@KiethLemon]

Hi Dana! So I can relate too, and this is not an advertisement I swear 😂. Blindboy Boatclub is an autistic podcaster, artist. He talks about his experience with dissociation and paranoid beliefs. He has heaps of stories about this on his podcast. He also after goes through how he has these mad thoughts, and then how he works his way out of them. This has helped me a lot. He has a recent story about how he thought these evangelists were serial killers, but they were just trying to give home a lift home 😂 If you wanna, you might want to Google specific mental health episodes because his topics vary widely.

[@nydiancokerlcmhclcas7205]

My son is Autistic and went through burnout, shutdown/catatonia and psychosis. It was during transition from 8th-9th grade year a really stressful time at school. There's definitely a connection!

[@marraine7299]

I've had stress induced psychosis before, and your experiene sounds similar to mine. With me, the delusions involved thinking that soap was poisonous, I was being spied on in the shower, I was the Antichrist, etc. I could sort of tell that it wasn't real, but 70% of my brain was fully convinced that it *was* real. So I would tell people 'Sorry, I'm a bit delusional but...' and then rattle off some wild stuff. But, that partial insight made people doubt me, which made me start doubting myself too...and led to some dangerous situations and dumb decisions (such as not washing for a week or more because I thought soap was poisonous; my partner would have to bribe me or trick me into the tub). So you're right that it's not much talked about, and that it is a wild thing. But definitely relatable

[@TegraStorm]

and you know what, YES i DID HAVE FUN watching the video because you Speak the TRUTH GIRL

[@enchanted.forests]

Omg! I am so glad this video appeared in my recommended. I had no idea autistic psychosis was a thing, but for years I have been saying that the three instances of psychosis I had in my life were directly correlated with my ASD, a direct byproduct of it as opposed to a separate disorder. Intense situations (especially intense social situations) stress me out, then I become paranoid because I can't process them mentally or emotionally, and then I often become sleep deprived as well due to the intense anxiety, which can further the psychotic symptoms (sleep deprivation will cause psychosis in anyone). As long as I stay on top of my sensory issues, life coping skills, and social/emotional processing (it takes way more effort than for a NT), my mood is stable and I have no psychotic symptoms. It isn't really surprising if you think about it -- a mind that struggles to process things, when overwhelmed, may just make connections that don't quite make sense in order to not have their brain break in half. At least that's what it felt like in my experience. Btw, two of the breakdowns I had were during the pandemic (2020 and 2021) and one of my delusions involved a cat too. But I thought the cat was dead when it wasn't, killed in a government conspiracy, not a government spy.....Catspiracies (cat conspiracies). 😂

[@nomam9085]

scarily relatable, but makes me feel so much better, hearing people experiencing same things i do just makes me feel so much more normal ,you know?

[@eimanm4676]

Just pointless speaking to people who do not understand autism im just now back from a meeting at my child school,she is autistic and been bullied everyday and the amount of the gaslighting the teacher was doing is really scary I was really thinking that they are trying to tell my chikd she is delusional and imagining things she isna child for the love of God, its unbelievable !!

[@DanaAndersen]

Oh man, this brought back some memories of me BEING that kid 😭

[@eimanm4676]

❤❤❤ you are making a big difference by sharing your experience expressing what we go through as it is ❤❤❤❤

[@TegraStorm]

2:20 OMG YES I can also logic myself out of those irrational thoughts but it is SO ENERGY AND TIME CONSUMING OMGGG

[@emmam8829]

I get this too, weirdly I have had multiple incidents having this with animals as well! Dunno what that's about. Not sure what I can do about it so kinda just accepted it now and focus on spotting it early and taking a step back

[@SparkleDragon547]

For years I thought the devil was trying to trick me into mental bets to steal my soul. I knew this wasn’t real either but the intrusive thoughts wouldn’t let me be.

[@laura.bseyoga]

Mental healthcare seems very much to be a matter of getting lucky in the UK. I've had so many terrible experiences I just don't bother any more. 💚

[@swampselkie]

This is scarily relatable - Dana, thank you for speaking out about your experiences.

[@jeyjey9153]

I can relate soo much to this! A few years ago I was in a state where I had really crazy thoughts, beliefs, hallucinations, and body feelings that drove me crazy. But most of the time I was aware that this isnt real, so I didn't matched the diagnosis criteria for "real" psychosis. But that wouldn't make it less scary. Because it also got to the point where I couldn't function anymore and daily life got unmanageable. But luckily the doctors at the hospital took it seriously though and put me under antipsychosis- medication. That really helped, and I was soo glad that those medication exist, even if I was very suspicious, because I once got antipsychosis medication for sleep and anxiety and had very severe side effects. But the new one really helped, even if I still had some struggles for some time, but at least it never got out of control this bad again. Today I'm without medication and I hope soo bad that I will never experience this shit again

[@bioluminescentlyunfolding5716]

This is so interesting because it's an area of autistic experience that I haven't heard anyone else describe before, but it resembles something I experience, albeit that mine is more in the nature of a transient but recurring experience. I was diagnosed autistic a few years back, and while it's been a huge help, in the aftermath my life has fallen apart. I left an abusive relationship, ended up in unsafe housing, had several bereavements, and my existing autistic burnout was worsened by caring responsibilities. That's maybe half the shit that's occurred in the past couple of years alone. And during this difficult time, a lifelong tendency of mine has worsened to the point that I've started really paying attention to it. Namely, late at night I will imagine scary (often supernatural/impossible) things things are about to happen in my home. I can freak myself out to the point where it's hard to go from room to room just to do my bedtime routine. I never lose my awareness that it's not real. Yet in that heightened state of arousal, my normal bias toward rationality becomes irrelevant. The mere idea that horror movie-level stuff could be real just captures me, and I have to force myself into action or put on a KZbin video or the radio to de-escalate myself. The terror seems rooted in the idea of discovering that yet another aspect of life I'd believed solid (in this case, reality itself) is just a veneer that can be unpredictably torn away. That's not surprising after all I've been through. Re: the non-supernatural fears, they concern male violence and that too fits given my circumstances. But it really troubles me that I can simultaneously believe something is about to happen, and know it's just me psyching myself out. I don't think I've ever raised it in therapy, probably because it's a huge problem while I'm experiencing it but not otherwise, whereas I tend to use therapy to talk about the underlying life issues that drive my various problems. But maybe I need to ask about it and see what happens...

[@stephenie44]

I agree, there need to be more research on psychosis in general, but also how it relates to the mental health and experiences of autistic people. The symptoms exist on a severity spectrum. Knowing that your thoughts are irrational is a sign of it starting. Not sure why our society sits and watches to see if it gets more severe or resolves itself with time/less stress. There seems to be a real lack of comprehension about psychosis symptoms in general and what it’s like to experience them. My partner’s psychiatrist finally found them a med that stopped them hearing voices and she was sure that now my partner would be ready to go back to work. Um, no. The meds didn’t help with the paranoia or agoraphobia or stress intolerance. Hearing voices was one piece of the much larger can’t-maintain-employment/struggling to survive puzzle. Your symptoms should have been a clear sign you at LEAST need a good therapist to help you cope and give you someone safe to lean on.

[@awrooo_rrruff]

Hey, suspected autistic here with diagnosed depression, with my childhood cat I wouldn’t get changed in front of him either because I was convinced he was a human reincarnated as a cat. But like you I knew it wasn’t true. Still always behaved as if it was true. As a teen I would suddenly turn on friends because I was convinced they were psychopathic, trying to manipulate and control me. I’d then come back and apologise when I was feeling well enough. But relationships were irreparably damaged because of it.

[@violet.senderhauf2187]

I yeah I Think of those sort of things as disembodied emotions. Like you can't quite understand why you are having those feelings, so your brain makes up reasons to have those feelings and the made up reasons generate more feelings. when you are going about your day you often feel the need to brush aside your emotions and you have a hard time remembering what set them off but you still have them and they want attention, so they create surreal imaginary scenarios that are impossible for you to ignore. I found it helpful to except the emotional realities of the intrusive fantasies and figure our where the emotions stem from even if it is a slow process.

[@indigoChild2121]

My 1st comment was removed😢 Just saying thank you for articulating so well and how grateful to you I am , you've been a great help these past few weeks

[@itisdevonly]

You're not alone in this. I've definitely had similar issues during times of intense stress and anxiety. The thing that prompted me to seek therapy for the first time when I was 18 was that I started having paranoid delusions. But I knew they were delusions. But I couldn't not feel like they were true. Like, I had this delusion that everyone I passed by was watching me and criticizing me in their heads, on the basis of extremely trivial things. Like, "What is with this person carrying a box? Why are they carrying a box? They're so weird." or like "Why are they wearing a coat with their hood up? It's not even that cold. They must be such a wimp." The thing that tipped me over the edge was when I was waiting for the elevator and I heard footsteps down the hall, and so I rushed into the elevator and hid around the corner so they wouldn't see me, because I was paranoid that they would think I was lazy for taking the elevator instead of the stairs. But, like, I knew how ridiculous this was. I could still reason and understand that 1) this person is probably not paying any attention to me whatsoever, 2) even if they are paying attention to me, it's unlikely they're judging me as lazy, especially as they have no idea what floor I'm traveling to, and 3) even if they did see me and judge me, it would not matter; they most likely don't even know me. I was also crying every day because I was severely depressed. So I finally was like, hm... I think should get therapy. I'm probably long overdue for that, actually. Oh, I should add. I'm AuDHD and have CPTSD (and likely OSDD as well). Took more than a decade from my first brush with therapy till I finally got diagnosed with CPTSD (I had to figure it out first and essentially refer myself for evaluation; prior to that I had an unspecified anxiety diagnosis). I'm still not diagnosed yet with autism or ADHD, but I have my assessment in a few weeks, so I will get the diagnoses soon. (I'm fairly confident the result will be confirmation that I'm AuDHD.)

[@ama.mitexi]

What you’re doing is beyond important!! Thank you immensely for being the first person I’ve yet to find, who has been able to find and place the words to describe exactly how I’ve similarly felt or the ways in which I experienced ‘life’ or being ‘me.’ I’m truly joyous to have luckily come across your page! P.S. I relate profoundly with the comment section on your videos and that is an utterly relieving first as well. So refreshing to be surrounded by proper punctuation!

[@szellllest]

One of a few videos I had not need to speed up to listen! Props up to your brain! 👍

[@stephenie44]

Whenever my partner has been too stressed for too long, they get thoughts like that. It seems to be a sign that, like, you’re really being pushed past your limit, but life goes on anyway so your brain has to find some way to accommodate itself. I would imagine that, autistic or not, there is a stress response pattern that increases in severity as we feel less safe and our life experiences further exceed our capacity to cope. Like, stress level one is having a negative emotion as a reaction to a negative experience. But when those emotions become pervasive, we move into a different… zone? that we call “depression” or generalized anxiety or complex grief. And there are additional levels from there: dissociation to varying degrees (not feeling real, the world not feeling real, your memories not feeling like yours, etc). And then how strongly do those experiences impact you - because there seems to be a point where people know reality, even if their thoughts challenge it, and then there is a point that people no longer can decipher what reality is. When my partner has lost their grip on reality, there have always been big issues in reality that are intolerable. Like, you can see a way out of a bad situation, but you have no choice but to grind on for a few more months or indefinitely before you can afford to make the change you need. Or there seems to be nothing you can do to be taken seriously by a doctor and you just have to wait to run into a doctor that doesn’t think you’re crazy, which who knows when that’ll happen, meanwhile your daily experience is incomprehensibly insufferable.

[@Jodamo]

This happened to me last year when I was extremely burnt out going through a crazy time with work, long covid, just moved across the country and my old town had a major disaster and my spouse said they wanted a divorce. My brain just lost it. This was the first time it happened for me and it coincided with new meditation/spiritual work I had been doing, and it was very intense, so I actually thought it was real. Ended up in the mental hospital where they initially said bipolar, but none of my doctors now think I’m actually bipolar, and I agree. I think it was what you talk about because I have had it happen again a few times on way smaller scales and I’ve been able to logically see it as not true in these cases. Very interesting and thanks. Disclaimer: I am not diagnosed autistic, but pretty sure I am.

[@Clayne151]

I had this kind of thing when I was a kid. I was convinced there was poison in drinks my mother gave me. Obviously there wasn't and I kind of knew and there was no reason to assume otherwise. But still it felt like it. Another similar thing was with my then-girlfriend a few years back. She sometimes out of nowhere was CONVINCED something bad had happened for example to her Ex, and she HAD to check. There never actually was anything, unsurprisingly. She does not have autism though, but was diagnosed with borderline and depression.

[@YukikoAkazui]

okay well first of all: i'm also autistic and had similar thought patterns, i thought there was someone/something akin to a benign ghost living in my bathroom talking to me by making the tap water drop, i also had fears of people looking through my windows (im on the ground floor) or being in my room. I also had some flare-ups of burn-out and depression because of my relationship and uni stress recently and since then i've become relatively convinced that society will collapse relatively soon and it's a lot more compelling than it has been before (i.e. I'm acting on my fears) which is of course also driven by my knowledge about climate change. I know it's not super logical but the issue is that the CHANCE is there that it could happen and no one can really tell me climate change is extremely worrying, and thus my thought of collapse is likely. secondly: i LOVE your hairstyle, you look adorable! My hair colour looks similar to yours and im almost motivated to grow my hair out like yours. You also seem extremely emotionally intelligent, and like a great person all around

[@asher3491]

I relate to this a lot! I'm also autistic and I have had a diagnosis of cptsd and anxiety for over a decade. Just within the past month I've found the answer as to why I have bizarre thoughts like this. It's OCD. I've had periods in my life where intrusive thoughts rule my daily life. Things that are so absurd that I know they aren't true but they keep coming up. I've had therapists and psychiatrists not know exactly what to do. I don't fall into a stereotypical ocd image of hand washing and other rituals. But I have a new psychiatrist who was able to fairly easily spot it. It may not be the case for you, but it may be worth looking into and/or asking professionals about OCD.

[@youzerr5041]

i enjoyed this very much :) TY

[@frantri3246]

Interesting, I can relate very much. Always KNEW that certain events I clearly could not have influenced were actually caused by me. I attributed it to my upbringing - my parents were extremely religious, part of a cult and esoteric, so relating events to non-visible stuff somehow made sense. But I KNOW it is not real, it just doesn't make sense. But still to this point I have these thoughts. I think you are right, part of this could be caused by autism.

[@DanaAndersen]

Your comment has prompted me to think some of it/the origins of it could be from my parents too. They got very into new age stuff when I was a kid, my dad did hypnotherapy and past life regression, and my mum practiced more of the spiritual/guidance stuff like tarot and palm reading, so I got a lot of ‘you are the energy you put into the world’ and ‘our brains are connected to the wider galaxy and influence reality’ types of beliefs that, though I do feel like I’ve unpacked and dealt with a lot in adulthood, are probably definitely still lingering in my subconscious 😅

[@Swagsoviet06]

This is so relatable that its scary i thought i gaslight myself into bring scitzofranic and it was the placebo effect because it is so rare and only comes with prolonged periods of intense stress but i dont know how to even describe it other than pure paronia and delusional thoughts similar to that cat thing u hit the nail on the head and this video is very important

[@MorganJ]

12:59 I'm not a doctor. I would highly suggest reading up on OCD though, because what you are describing sounds like what I have read about that condition.

[@amirat8162]

Thank you for this ❤❤❤

[@jesslolyeet5644]

I know someone else commented this, but as someone who was diagnosed with severe OCD (by a doctor who was very knowledgeable about ocd), this sounds 100% like my OCD. It sounds a bit more like Pure OCD. Mine worsened during quarantine like yours, and I actually had the SAME THOUGHT ABOUT MY CAT TOO. I hope you can figure everything out for yourself 😊

[@MorganJ]

2:57 I want to start by saying I am NOT a doctor. This is NOT medical advice. What you're describing makes me think of what I've read about OCD.

[@DanaAndersen]

I get this lmao, but I’ve explained in detail to multiple medical ‘professionals’ and been told it doesn’t line up well enough 😅

[@MorganJ]

@@DanaAndersen It sucks that doctors aren't taking your concerns seriously enough. The way you describe knowing that something isn't real but having the irrational fear that it is anyways no matter how much you logically know otherwise very much so sounds like how obsessions can work in some people with that condition.

[@MorganJ]

@@DanaAndersen I was very very young at the time, but if I understand the paperwork correctly, mental health professionsals thought I had OCD originally, but the dr who diagnosed me with asperger's (I know it's not used now, but this was back in 2005) thought that my symptoms were better explained by autism. So I've kinda gone down the rabbit hold of reading up on the condition to figure out why they thought that originally.

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

You look as tho you play a doctor on TV.

[@nickinatita]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sure it's very helpful to many. I don't have an official asd diagnosis, I did get tested over 20 years ago, and they said I was not autistic, for really dumb reasons that can be refuted now. Instead, I was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder with the likelihood I'll either unalive in a few years, or develop full schizophrenia. I can't deny that I lived heavily in a fantasy world since I was a toddler, that I felt imperative to believe for the sake of surviving myself. I was able to shed that fantasy world almost 10 years ago now, and I can tell you, I'm not not about to develop full schizophrenia and for better or worse, I'm still here at 47. I feel that schizotypal is another word for trauma ridden autistic person. I'm seeking reassessment now, and let's pray they see it how virtually everyone who knows me including asd folk do, that I'm autistic. I think many afab/females are completely misdiagnosed, especially back then. They have 0 ability to use critical thinking about why some of these things are happening to a person, they look at the surface results and with their fancy letters, proclaim you that. Like you, I knew the fantasies and magical thinking weren't real, I'm not stupid, and certainly not delusional or psychotic, even if I had experiences that mirrored those things. I'm on disability, you mentioned in another vid about how it's almost impossible to hold a job- I'm that, even though I'm not lazy. I've developed more coping mechanisms as I got older, though the system might unalive me in the end. It's super hard to be different

[@erikd4690]

Burnout from lockdown is a big part of what eventually led me to discover that I might be autistic. Before that, I was dealing with a bunch of thought patterns that felt pathological but also didn't fit any diagnosis. My version of having a strange mental relationship with a public figure was that when I heard that Avicii died, it felt like I lost a lifelong friend, even though my only knowledge of the man was that that I liked some of his music and I really hadn't even been a fan for very long. I mourned for weeks about it, and felt weird for doing so. I also knew intellectually that my perception/feelings around the event were wildly disproportionate, but despite this knowledge, I just couldn't stop feeling that way. The sense of lacking control and regulation in your own inner world is the worst part, I think.

[@Cararara1987]

oh my days, i ended up needing a evaltion for schizophenia after hearing voices. i was dianogised with bpd already now they say autism and adhd. but its horriable losing track of reality. i have to sleep every afternoon in a dark room and im so tired of being me.

[@UnvisibleGirl]

I'd never heard of this :o I think I've had simalar thought patterns but logic grounds me typically so never really thought of it as a issue

[@DanaAndersen]

When I’m doing well it’s just a fleeting thought here and there that I immediately logic out of and forget about, but when I’m already doing super badly they stick in such a weird way 😭💕

[@UnvisibleGirl]

@@DanaAndersen like ruminations? The only ones that stick for me is how people think of me and my actions, can ruminate for ages on those

[@shorgoth]

I've been in a perpetual state past burnout for the past decade or so due to being forced and stuck in an appartment with neighbours playing music over 10 hours a day including the whole night every freaking day. At some point I just can't cope anymore. The only reason I'm not completely insane or violent is because I have a degree of meta analisys and 30 years of studying psychology helping me identify the irrational behaviours before I enact them. I can't trust myself an inch. In one month I'll finally get access to subsidized housing for autistic people with strict rules on noise. Can't wait to be out of here.

[@simonmcglary]

I had a completely different experience with lockdown. I was working as normal and loved the quiet buses and the sound and smells of nature. On opening up I switched to cycling, I couldn’t handle the people! Still have problems, but time in nature helps, the nerve damage in my left arm doesn’t help but the challenge it has given suits me! I need a challenge! As regards the mental health issues sit on top of the neurodivergence. Best part of 40 years of depression and anxiety and 10 minutes with a psychiatrist who specialised in neurodivergence and a working diagnosis of Asperger’s. Fast tracked for the diagnosis after that! They need to be tackled differently from the neurotypical approach.

[@martinhope6542]

I'm 53 have lived live with a diagnosis of extreme anxiety and depression now since a long hospital stay they are saying I might be autistic, people around me saying I was psychotic which was very scary, hospital disagreed with that.

[@O-Demi]

Well damn if we're talking these goddamn intrusive thoughts, I have some. I am paranoid, I am aware of that, and I saw that paranoia is part of Autism symptoms BUT I GOOGLED AND I CAN'T FIND WHY (I saw it on one of these circle diagrams). So, ever since I was a kid I've been convinced that someone is looking into my bathroom through the vent hole. I've moved placed many times. My brain is still convinced of that but I know that it's all in my head. Also, about people being reborn as someone else: recently in my larger family 4 new kids have been born (now I have 4 nieces and nephews) and I am pretty much convinced that 3 out of 4 are our reborn grandpas and a grandma (and the other one is the reborn someone from my cousin's husband's family). I know it's silly, and I don't truly believe it, but that's what my brain is telling me. EDIT, to add: I also absolutely believed that I'd somehow manifested someone's death, yeah. Maybe ND people are just super aware of the faults in their thoughts, that could be my explanation. And we take it seriously, while some other people would just laugh at their own strange thoughts or never even notice them... But as the psychologists (who talk about OCD) say, thoughts are just thoughts. They do not characterize who we are, only our reation to them kinda does. My other explanation would be that one of my parents is a narcissist, and they have magic thinking, and maybe they inadvertently teach that to their kids. Because I know for a fact that I used to believe that "someone got the thing I wanted because they had plotted against me", but it was all bull*hit and it was a pattern I learned from my parent and had to actively unlearn.

[@DanaAndersen]

I have the same thing of being certain someone is watching me through vents, cracks etc, random places that no one can really actually be, so I know they’re not, but I’m still expecting to see a set of eyes whenever I look 😅

[@O-Demi]

@@DanaAndersen I'm really thankful you've made this video! It's very relatable!

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

We have to identify it, to resolve it. People who dont want labels are just stupid.

[@kaminaminami]

I went completely psychotic when i was being a straight A student literally started seeing shit and being super obsessive with my thoughts i gpt told my my psych it was because of the stress and that its related to autism but it still sucked because i was just absolutely losing my mind and couldn't do shit to stop it

[@TheYangnyin]

I have experienced psychosis like this avfew times and it's horrible. I got through it by just being cautious while trying not to rock the boat too much since I figured it was just my brain being wonky.

[@LizardBlizzzard]

I was paying attention but the sweater you have on is distractingly cool and I'd love to know where you found it

[@DanaAndersen]

I…found it in my best friends wardrobe 😅 if you google ‘Home of rainbows cosmic knit cardigan’ you should find it!

[@LizardBlizzzard]

@DanaAndersen I found it!!! Thank you so much. Also, the point you presented in this video was presented very clearly. When I have another therapist, I do think I want to raise this idea with them because it makes more sense than what has been previously attributed to causing my episodes of psychosis

[@wmd40]

i felt like that when my friend died about my cat. but it wasn't that he was fake. it was like i could see my friend watching me through my cat and sort of using him as a vessel to comfort me. it was really emotional but i felt so crazy when it was happening. I knew it wasn't real but i swear it was like my friend would come through him and spend time with me and then leave. it was weird and hard to explain but i swear i could talk to him 😅 it was positive for me though because it let me grieve my friend's death. i don't even believe in God honestly or afterlife really but i swear it was real even though i know it was not true. same with the putting the stuff in the universe thing. i don't normally tell my doctors about it because I'm afraid of being told I'm delusional when I'm not

[@LynIsALilADHD]

Theres not really a new diagnosis when dealing with wonky wiring in your brain..... theyre all just like conditions intertwined with the one big diagnosis.💞

[@mariesmith9508]

Diagnosed ADHD, Depression, OCD, and highly suspect autism but the person evaluating me said I wasn't because "You are able to stop stimming and you made too much eye contact for an autistic person". Because masking isn't a thing I guess? Anyways. I have had similar thought patterns that I caused people's cancer or injury. I also believed at different times that I had items stolen from me, but I'd draw a blank when trying to remember what those items were (I have actually had things stolen in my past.) I always knew to some degree it was my brain making things up. It felt different than regular thought, and definitely different than my imagination. Sometimes it is related to my OCD, but like you said, I think it's an underlooked side of autism. If you want to do some reading, I suggest looking into hypo-NMDA conditions. You'll see some talk about delusions and autism there.

[@AUnicorn666]

It sounds like it may be the first stage of psychosis, or early psychosis, this is similar to how my psychosis is, it’s treated so it’s not getting worse but this could be psychosis caused by autistic burnout, which would be a stressor that causes your brain to experience psychosis. I don’t think it’s ocd because it’s usually obsessed with the possibility of causing something and not beliefs of causing those things, but the beliefs along with the paranoia around the cat sounds like psychosis and it could be a singular episode (I don’t remember how often it happened that you said in the episode) or it could be the beginnings of a psychotic disorder imo, but it may be good to get treatment if it persists and look into the different symptoms of the first stage of psychosis as well as the treatments for that and acute psychosis, I don’t think it’s part of thee autism but I do think it’s caused by the stressor of autistic burnout Note: I am not a professional but I do hope to be someday but I help autistics and folks with mental health conditions in my free time mainly including disorders with psychosis as a part of them but also a variety of other things, I am autistic with schizoeffective and ocd and I have a special interest in psychology and have for years

[@stephss]

Burn out.... is another level, for sure. Thank you for sharing your experiences. 🫶

[@advaitawho]

Relatable 😩

[@PatchworkDragon]

I'm diagnosed with depression and suspect I have autism, but my experiences are a little different from yours. While you seem to be describing delusions with insight, mine are usually hallucinations with insight. They get more frequent (and more morbid) when I am exceedingly stressed or depressed. For example: for about an hour one day I saw and heard an obviously dead crow at my workplace, watching me. My logical brain says that dead crows don't go to gas stations, and someone else definitely would have mentioned it... and yet, I saw it. I heard it caw. (Cognitive dissonance alert!) I tried to explain this to my doctor, so he sent me for a schizophrenia assessment. The assessor said, "I don't know what's going on, but it's definitely not schizophrenia," the doctor slapped schizophrenia on my record anyway, and he never looked into it again. That's US healthcare for ya. I, too, like labels, so I've been thinking that it could be depression with psychotic symptoms, but I hadn't considered it possibly relating to autism. Seeing how many people here have had similar brain anomalies leads me to believe that it might be worth looking into. Anyway, it's a huge relief to know that I'm not the only one. (And I'm not the only one who the doctors don't believe or care to help.) Thank you for this video!

[@EmilyBell-g9q]

Okay does anyone feel like this so my burn out experience has been like this don’t know if this happens to you or anyone else. But I can feel something happen in my brain like it’s weird. My thoughts will seem to get backed up and one or a few thoughts will just keep going around and around in my head while I am disassociate into my head for long periods of time. My senses will all go up and down but the level for the low is way higher then my normal low level it’s like the volume got turned up and lights . Then my memory will not work well and I start to drop a lot of things I will loose things loose track of what I am doing or where I am going even where I should be I just can’t get my brain to function it’s like I am buffing I don’t know and other things

[@StingALing223]

Personally, I got diagnosed with psychotic depression after already having an autism diagnosis. However, my ease getting this diagnosis was probably due to A) my Ma being a doctor B) the fact we are an upper middle class family and C) I was really really feckin ill

[@DanaAndersen]

I may be reading your comment a little wrong here, but I wasn’t trying I say that anyone experiencing similar DOESN’T have a diagnosable condition, just that I personally didn’t have the ‘right’ symptoms for anything according to doctors I saw. Ofc, lots of people are correctly diagnosed with all sorts of things alongside being autistic, it’s not always ‘just a tism thing’!

[@StingALing223]

@@DanaAndersen oh, don't worry, I didn't take what you said that way, I was just trying to explain my experience. I just got quite excited when I saw your post because I didn't realise other autistic people had a imilar experience to me

[@Paisley_111]

​@DanaAndersen hi. Yes there is a link between psychosis and ASD. I have diagnosis of psychotic depression & asd. Also had catatonia and auditory hallucinations. To me (I have some relevant qualifications and personal experience) not feeling yr describing ocd. Don't under estimate monophonic thinking and psychotic depression combination this is exactly how it presents with me ! Eventually also developed seizure NES. Had excellent psychiatric care in patent. Asd specist. Yes it part of the spectrum... when monotonic thinking goes off the rails . 😊❤❤❤

[@StingALing223]

Omg I clicked so fast. Literally me

[@BipolarCourage]

Is it more irrational thoughts with anxiety?

[@SloweddieSpaghetti]

It's so difficult to tell what is autism and what os not. Leaves me rather confused. Much research is needed.

[@nyllneksif2574]

2:47 😂❤😢😮😂❤ 🙏 for sharing this ❤I’m convinced it’s we see alternative endings:-) Maybe your cat is monitoring you. Someone may have summoned monitoring spirits to your feline companion. apparently it’s a thing xx I. Believe Anything People Tell Me. I think that’s a good thing doesn’t mean I agree or would divulge it xxxx Weirdly finding some psalms helpful -“

[@helenaskew4851]

doctors should study the human brain neurotypical and neurodivergent and mental health, also study it before they become one. Living the world we live in they should know.

[@pattayaesl7128]

Write a book , sister

[@EmilyBell-g9q]

Does this happen to you? I like to relate experiences of my own with other peoples experiences so they can under stand I can kinda I stand what they mean and how they can feel and I get I get told I am only talking about myself and I only care about myself but myself. But my actions show way different then that . they show I am a very caring person and I try to help everyone and I do anything for anyone. so I will buy my friends some things to see them happy and so I can see them smile and stuff . I get told I am trying to buy people . when that’s not what I am trying to do. also I tried to teach my friends about autism and I got ignored and told I am wrong and I didn’t know what I was talking about . to me people only know the name autism . and not what it actually is. How do they say they are spreading awareness to autism when they are not teaching anything about it to anyone and just saying the name and that’s all.

[@marchfast8291]

I enjoy your rough area accent.

[@jonasandersen8204]

I experienced this as Well! I felt like I murdered my step-dad when he died last year, because I did not stop smoking like I had promised, and the last thing he did before having a heart attack was smoke a cigarette. Naturally it must have been God/the Universe that killed him in that Way because I did not stop smoking. Smoking and drinking alcohol is still so hard for me. I feel dizzy and Think that I Will die or atleast become Very sick and have to have surgery. I get massive panic attacks because of theese things. Had the same with unhealthy food so my safe food was no longer safe. I feel so sorry for anyone experiencing this type of thing.

[@matttriano]

He smoked and it's your fault?

[@jonasandersen8204]

@@matttriano yeah, because I did not stop smoking like I promised. I am saying I experienced the same type of psychotic feelings ans thoughts because of burnout. I know its not true but I felt like it was true. Just like Dana described in the video.