Autistic Person Reacts to (scary) Autism Simulations...

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Autistic person reacts to autism simulations.
Today I’m going to be watching and reacting to two autism simulation videos. These include loud noises, distorted sounds, and bright and flashing images. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or having a bad day, maybe save this one for later!
💛 WATCH NEXT 💛:
You're ALL under ARREST! | Actually Autistic TikToks:
• You're ALL under ARRES...
10 Sensory Traits of Autism:
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struggling with autistic burnout:
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00:00 A message in Comic Sans
00:16 Autism simulations
01:00 Meltdowns are like psychosis?
11:05 The lunchroom
14:37 You're under arrest!
The Autism Simulations:
Can you make it to the end?:
• Can you make it to the...
Autism Simulation:
• Autism Simulation
Sources:
Schizophrenia - a guide for autistic adults:
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism:
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
*Links with a star are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you and any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate every like and comment!

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Today I’m going to be watching and reacting to two autism simulation videos. These include some loud noises, distorted sounds, and bright and flashing images. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or having a bad day, maybe save this one for later! Avoiding listening through headphones and keeping your volume low might also be a good idea. Look after yourself! 💛 What did you think of these? Do you feel represented? How would you improve them? If you missed that last TikTok reaction video (we talk about faking autism, parents filming their children's meltdowns, and the struggle of choosing from menus): kzbin.info/www/bejne/bpOukqmOf8ZoaJY And if you missed tier ranking autistic special interests last week (some were indeed interesting…): kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6eslWx5e8qjnJI See you soon!

[@noeldoesstuff]

I think there’s a pretty good one by the guardian called “the party”

[@dmgroberts5471]

I've always hated those bright white days. I didn't really think that could be Autism until now. It's funny, I'm constantly learning that things that I've lived with my entire life, and just assumed were normal things, could very well be Autism things. Comparing experiences with other Autistic people has done far more to convince me that I am Autistic, than the three years of research did. I guess the research is more for the NTs.

[@NatanoNielni]

I found this one and it's more accurate to my experience at least.. kzbin.info/www/bejne/mYXdhpWbas2if5o

[@MartinMCade]

For the second video, the audio is definitely me. I hear every single noise around me. It's good when I'm outdoors and away from people and mechanical noise, but when I'm in a crowded area, it becomes a cacophony of mechanical noise, talking, and every other sound.

[@Ultrabot5964]

For some reason I can actually relate to the lunch room part and a bit of the mall part

[@pemanilnoob587]

You know what’s awful? Having to wear headphones due to my autism, but then those headphones having extremely high volume when it says “low battery” to the point where it makes me have meltdowns

[@metallsnubben]

I actively refuse to use headphones with any kind of "active electronics" in them (noise cancelling, wireless etc.) for just that reason, if it's not ear destroying beeps from battery or bluetooth connection stuff it's just a constant buzz that doesn't go away

[@fern1416]

Get GP to refer to audiology and get the hearing retraining aids. Life changing. They do have a low bat beep but I suppose you could just change the batt every 2 weeks or a schedule to avoid it

[@pemanilnoob587]

@@metallsnubben my last headphones didn’t have the ear bleeding sounds, but I had them for so long they broke, and the new ones really suck. I’ve had them for a few months and they’re already starting to break

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Yessss - I HATE that with a passion.

[@youleeaah]

That sounds like such an awful function to have on headphones. Have you ever tried noise filtering earplugs instead? Personally I can't add more noise to already a lot of noise or I will feel even more overwhelmed. I like that my Loop earplugs tone everything down and I can adjust the volume throughout the day. They help me go out with my kids on days where normally I wouldn't be able to.

[@agoodwasteoftime]

it blows my mind that NTs *don't* hear all the chattering and clattering in a busy cafeteria. How can you not? I guess they do hear it but they're just more capable of blocking it out, but i definitely can't. I struggle to hear others in conversations in those types of places, and the worst part for me is that if i try and talk with all that background noice, my voice sounds like its underwater and that drives me insane and makes me incredibly uncomfortable so i tend to just not bother talking in places like that since no one can hear me anyway no matter how hard i try.

[@fern1416]

Hearing retrianing aids from audiology 👌. Ask your GP to refer you

[@dmgroberts5471]

Honestly, I don't know how they do anything "out there." I don't know how they can sit in a room full of other people, all moving around, without screaming. A busy street is like the deepest circle of hell for me. And the sound of so many people talking, "waawaawaawaawaawaawaawaawaawaawaawaa," like a gigantic untuned CRT TV. And I will never understand how they can stand perfume/aftershave, I pass some people in stores or on the street and I wonder how they can live like that. I would much rather just smell of recently laundered clothing. Not detergent, I use unscented. For obvious reasons. NTs are _weird._

[@MarcMunkyTTV]

It's so strange to think about having the ability to choose what you focus on or to tune things out by choice rather than it all just happening and you're stuck reacting to what your brain is doing. It sounds amazing, honestly.

[@Dario-uj6qo]

I don't know yet if I am autistic or not but at first I thought they just removed the sound because she was talking to then start the simulation (I barely heard anything) and when it did start I thought it was just about the lights, I didn't see anything weird about it as to me it is always that noisy, to me the idea that people actually heard so little or altmost nothing is so foreing and I can hardly swallow it

[@grigoriraspoutine9298]

yes same

[@nailati]

13:48 "sitting with a bunch of people who clearly don't want you there, and keep making jokes at your expense, and you laugh along like you're really in on it, when it's actually killing you inside..." ...oh, look, it's my entire high school experience summed up in one sentence! 😬

[@fygfyg7242]

For me the first video felt a bit too cinematic, like a lot of scary scenes in movies do - quick cuts, weird angles, unsettling images (like this moving eyes), slowing down or moving fast, scary sounds in the background, someone breathing heavily etc. So while it was unsettling, I don't think it was for the right reason ("scary movies techniques" were making it unpleasant instead of "autistic point of view"). But I too loved the change of the perspective at the end. The second one makes me wonder, do people really experience cafeterias etc. so quiet? Or was the silence a little exaggerated to make the diffenrece more obvious?

[@Dario-uj6qo]

I don't know yet if I am autistic or not but at first I thought they just removed the sound because she was talking to then start the simulation (I barely heard anything) and when it did start I thought it was just about the lights, I didn't see anything weird about it as to me it is always that noisy, to me the idea that people actually heard so little or altmost nothing is so foreing and I can hardly swallow it

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

It's exegerrated, of course NT hears it, it's just that they can block it outta their mind better so it doesn't bother them as much

[@CESmith]

I don't have sensory issues, but I do notice loud cafeterias and don't find them pleasant, also cloudy days are bright.

[@MirandaMcKennitt]

EYES person with schizophrenia here. the "following eyes" mini-hallucination is normal for an autistic person who is under strong emotional/sensory stress. even non-autistic people are having them sometimes. it's not a sign of psychosis. you can discern between such thing & the real genuine hallucinations by switching your attention to it. it should instantly go away. children are more prone to those (autistic or not) also. seen all your videos. KISSES AND MILK.

[@rosalynanna]

I agree, when I'm in a fight or flight type stressed state due to overstimulation, and I'm taking in snapshots of detail around me rapidly, sometimes I perceive movement where it isn't there. Like you say, switching my attention fully to the object makes the movement stop and I know it's not real. Just my brain being over-stressed and trying to process everything.

[@dribanlycan]

Oh my god that explains the random "thats a person and their looking at you" feelings i get when im overstimulated, i thought it was something worse,

[@pemanilnoob587]

I’ve definitely gotten some slight hallucinations before, but it was always just a basic shape moving at the corner of my vision that I can’t discern, or bugs on walls

[@erin1569]

Definitely, I think it might also happen with heavy anxiety or depression. If I remember correctly, the DSM includes a special code for depression with hallucinations. The distorted view of the world typical of these problems can leak into the perception of the real world.

[@herbertnorman617]

When I am in an anxious state, I do get both small visual pseudohallucinations - movement in the corners of my eyes - and small audio pseudohallucinations, usually my brain overvigilantly interpreting sounds as something they are not - like hearing a slight whisper (no discernable voices and consciously differentiable from a real sound) in something like a humming sound or fan noise.

[@JhericFury]

It's weird to describe, but i feel like it *feels* brighter when it's noisy.

[@kathrinkaefer]

Before I knew I was autistic (or anything about autism really), I had autism described to me as experiencing everything really intensely, and I was shown this kind of simulation. Based on that, I was imagining something even more intense than my actual experience and did not recognise myself as autistic. In fact, I was often told as a child "none of the other children are making such a fuss", which led me to believe I am exactly the same as everyone else and just choosing to be difficult. In a shopping centre like this, it's not that I am overwhelmed by individually noticeable sounds or stimuli, but I will notice myself getting incredibly irritable and angry and wanting to escape after about 10 minutes of being there, and until now I never knew why. It was only as an adult, when someone said to me that I always seem to experience everything on a super intense or extreme level, that I began to think that maybe autism does apply to me.

[@JonBrase]

My "hearing autism described and not connecting it to my own experience" thing was eye contact. I recall reading a Scientific American article on autism as a preteen and thinking "not making eye contact, that's weird", totally oblivious to my own eye contact issues. I don't have the active aversion to eye contact that many people describe, just a lack of need for it and poor sense of when it's expected. The article was written in the 80s, though, and was describing classic autism more than the presentation formerly known as Aspergers, which is what I seem to have, so it's fairly understandable that I didn't see myself in the article as a whole.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Same here. I saw a few videos here and there of "what the world looks like for an autistic person" as a kid and they always seemed way more intense and exaggerated than my personal experience. It definitely didn't help that I would take things like the jump-cuts and hallucination-like editing and blurring extremely literally. We need more of these types of videos with a neurotypical POV so autistic people have sketching they can actually compare their experiences to & understand how different and less accurate to our experiences that "normal" looks

[@C-SD]

"I want a NT simulation" describes most of my childhood. The moving eyes are maybe like at night when you're tired sometimes a stack of clothes will look like a person or monster until you get a good look at it. I'm super light sensitive, and that seemed about right for me, but I always thought that the lights were just painfully bright for everyone and were just stupid. lol

[@katethevampire]

The second video really made me understand why my therapist recommended I get tested for autism, I genuinely thought everybody heard every conversation in lunchrooms happening at once are you telling me that's not normal?????

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

No fr I JUST found out people can tune those sounds out like h o w

[@birnapetursdottir2616]

i’m honestly still not convinced people can do that.

[@bot7845]

Im convinced they install hack

[@sunnijo]

If the simulations had chewing sounds, shoes squeaking on the ground, and three people all flipping through TikTok with really bad audio quality, lots of sudden loud noises, and their phones on full blast, then they’d be more accurate, at least for me. My quality of life would be so much better if more people would just use headphones when watching videos on their phones in public.

[@leenaparsons9876]

For me, it's like my body reacts to certain sounds as if it's a fire alarm or something. And everyone else just keeps talking and going on without hesitation, and I'm like, how can you expect me to tell what I want to eat at a time like this.

[@MarcMunkyTTV]

I feel that. My toddler got an electric toothbrush from his babysitter and kept turning it on and putting it on things. I had to take it away when he did that against the table because of how jarring that sound was. He also slams things, which has that effect too. It makes me want to lash out. I don't obviously, but that's the panic response my body has.

[@coppertones7093]

sounds a lot like misophonia

[@laurenhebert4245]

“How can you expect me to ________ at a time like this?!” perfectly sums up how I feel every time I’m around people and trying to do anything.

[@SonnyMoonie]

What you've said here is more evidence to me that I'm opposite autistic, I mean, neurodivergent, but the opposite of what people usually mean by autistic. Loud noise, I might have a startle reflex for a couple of seconds if I didn't see it coming, and that's all, but what's this about telling what you want to eat? You eat when it's time to eat, or when there's food, and not when there isn't food, right? You'd probably get hungry if you don't eat for 8 hours, but that's all the effect, right? Are you saying there are appetites for different sorts of food? Are you saying other people are interested in what your specific appetite is? Are you saying it would ever make a difference in what food you're given, when you're around other people? It all sounds bizarre, to me.

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

Wait so can NTs actually more easily pick out the conversations going on in those crowded places? I always wondered what the point was in talking when you can hardly even hear yourself over everyone's voices (but to be fair, i would join in too if i was tired of not being heard through the noise)

[@a_me_1]

I'm glad you talked about not reacting in the moment too. I really relate to being overwhelmed but just not showing it in the moment. School would always be so noisy and socially exhausting. I always acted okay until I got home and it would only take a tiny little thing to happen and I'd completly break down, it felt like it came out of nowhere and afterwards I'd feel really bad about shouting and crying... at the time I thought it was anger issues, a mental illness. social anxiety, hormonal issues or stress until I found out what autism was... now I'm pretty sure it's something like that.. I actually have an assesement in 2 days.. I had to wait a few years for it and i can't really believe it's almost here.. as always thank you for making these videos. Whether I'm on the spectrum or not they are really relatable and reassuring somehow😊

[@selma.lovescats]

exactly!! the only times when i did break down were always in my room alone, other times when i was with people i would just kinda go quiet and not respond. hope you get your diagnosis!

[@mandymorrow5473]

I completely resonate with this. However, I may never find out if I am or not because I'm disabled in other ways, have to live with my family, and they're quite okay with just slapping the mentally ill label on me.

[@LuanMerlin]

I also relate to this. At the moment I am trying to advocate for my needs at work (i.e. reducing the sensory input at my workplace), and I sometimes wish I would have my meltdowns at work already instead of only at home, so people would understand better how important it is for me that those needs are met.

[@dmgroberts5471]

I think what NTs don't really get, is that we _really_ don't want to have meltdowns, especially in public. Very unpleasant, very humiliating. I think the vast majority of us will hold on as long as possible, sacrificing attempts at masking to devote that energy to maintaining control. That has been my experience, I've never melted down publicly unless I was pushed past my ability to keep it in.

[@a_me_1]

@@selma.lovescats that sounds relatable too. I have a friend who has a very similar experience. Also thank you so much😄

[@ashleyien1222]

😮 You mean cafeterias don't sound like that to everyone?! I've only recently self-diagnosed, but I always hated cafeterias and found another place to eat when I could/ was allowed to.... usually alone, since I didn't really have friends for most of my school years. I completely understand about the cloudy day being too bright. I need to wear glasses and I feel like I can't see as well with sunglasses so I just go around squinting all the time. 😅

[@alejandro-314]

Hearing is one of the major sensitivity for me. One of my worst childhood trauma is people singing me Happy Birthday. Thankfully, my mom stopped doing big parties after my 4th birthday when she realized the distress I was going through (I was diagnosed as an adult).

[@hannahbrown2728]

AaAAHH! Sure wish people would respect my own distaste for birthday rituals even to this day!

[@princessleira2663]

omg - as a young child I also hated being sung happy birthday to. My family has it on home video where I'm just sitting there with my cake and candles lit in front of me and everyone is silent and lets me stare at my candles quietly before blowing them out, instead of singing happy birthday. I'm an adult now too, and currently in the evaluation process for autism.

[@DavidBowman-mq1bm]

Not a fan of Happy birthday either. It's jarring. I always felt put on the spot. Like a spectacle of some sort.

[@hannahbrown2728]

@@DavidBowman-mq1bm It definitely feels like its more for the singers than the receipient. And oh god. Restaurant birthdays. Worse than family ones

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Awesome sensitive mom ❤

[@cosmickitty5475]

I once had a delayed meltdown last year after an unexpectedly long day of work as an usher at my college. I had an entire afternoon planned for getting homework done and chilling only to find out what I thought was a couple hour shift turned into an entire day. Once I left I just remember crying because I was too overwhelmed and having my entire day thrown off.

[@73caddydaddy93]

The eyes moving on the back of the jacket does kinda relate to me personally when I was a kid. My vivid imagination would cause me to sometimes manifest those little "hallucinations" when trying to make sense of everything, causing little changes as opposed to full on hallucinations of things that weren't there. Still kinda happens to this day to a much smaller extent. There was a brand of jam as a kid called Sunny Jim that I thought was nasty due to texture, and I remember seeing the picture of the boy on the label's face change to a sad face because I felt guilty for not liking the jam.

[@Lo0nex_]

aww, that end part is kinda cute in a way

[@Kagomai15]

The first paragraph makes me think how things look on first glance when you're not paying attention, and your brain builds the rest of the picture, which often is different from what's actually there. Like I'll misread words or misinterpret pictures and find it funny the difference between the two, but when you're stressed and paranoid these differences can be even more stressful? Like the eyes on the jacket feels like a misinterpretation and/or a paranoia of being watched more than a hallucination

[@ruru_McCakey]

Mostly I'm surprised by how quiet things apparantly are for nt's in that cafeteria example. I can't even imagine that. But regarding the autism simulations, kinda accurate but not really? But I guess it'd hard to simulate for someone who isn't autistic so I appreciate the effort.

[@Aliceherz24]

I have the white sky thing too! many people I've complained about it to were always confused like "the sun isn't even out, its a dull cloudy day!"

[@a_me_1]

Ah the bright sky thing is relatable to me. On cloudy days I always find myself squinting and closing one eye. I've always felt really self conscious about it but I can't help it, my right eye is just a bit more sensitive. Even on days that other people just describe as dull. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling that way though. The shops brightness level in the video is relatable too. And all the noises and noticing small details. I do kind of enjoy the experience of being in a shop though, it feels a little exciting and I like looking around at all the details and things. But classrooms, typing, sniffing and eating noises really agitate me and I used to find it really horrible when I had to study in a school setting. I would have rather gone home and studied there or at least had earphones. Luckily they relaxed the 'no phones' rule towards the end of my school time so I could have music to drown it out. But in the young years we weren't even allowed to take a phone out or have earphones in when working. Except in art class, they did allow it sometimes which was nice.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

You know you have autism when you go outside and the sun is too loud.

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

I can go outside at any time of day and the light will literally give me a sore feeling in my eyes and I am physically incapable of looking up towards the sky because even the ground is too bright. I need sunglasses (and regular glasses too ngl)

[@katzenlady5339]

I personally think the moving eyes on the hoodie are quite fitting. When I was a child I had an insane fear of artificial things that kinda resemble living objects starting to move. So for me it captured this fear quite well.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Ooh - that's interesting! Actually, I remember being absolutely terrified of a few portraits on the walls of hotels we stayed in when I was small. I couldn't look at them!

[@katzenlady5339]

@@imautisticnowwhat Oh I can imagine! I was terrified of some portraits in my grandparents house. One they even had to take from the wall whenever I visited them

[@Izzylovesdinos]

For some reason I was expecting roblox simulators 💀

[@amberr3662]

That should be a sequel to this

[@Dear_Lola]

Brooooo LOL

[@superdupercoolguy69]

escape the evil overstimulation obby! (SCARY)

[@thecolorjune]

Yes!! Delayed melt downs are huge. I would rarely melt down at school, but I had nearly daily meltdowns at home during elementary. I also needed hours of talking with my mom to process the day. I’d ask her about social situations and sensory issues a lot and try and figure out how to handle them. I didn’t know I had autism, and it was quite hard.

[@fryda1438]

Woah. I had no idea someone could go to a cafeteria and not hear the obscenely loud clattering and meshed yelling that appears in the second video. What!! (I’m autistic)

[@cazridley5822]

I really relate to the noise in both , for me it’s like someone is shaking all my brain cells up like a snow globe and it makes me feel really panicky and sick , too many people around like the cafeteria makes me panicky and hyperventilate and if they are all moving around it upsets my own balance

[@janeann3331]

I learned I was on the spectrum at the age of 23 because I got a job at the mall. I used to work as a salesperson in a brightly lit showroom. I enjoyed going to the mall as long as it was on my terms. However, when I was on a schedule and was forced to be at the mall most of the time, that was a different experience. I was having very public meltdowns every other day. This motivated me to research why I was having outbursts. By the age of 26, I concluded that I was on the spectrum.

[@ooshiikurai]

My meltdowns were often confused as temper tantrums by my family. I would have the overwhelming urge to sit down in a corner or against a wall and breathe. And I’d cry and fight to get that chance. And yeah… wow, I’m just now realizing what I was actually trying to do. I thought I was a moody kid but now I realize I must have been trying to get low and somewhere quiet, which was my perceived safe place.

[@JamieODonnell-oq8sy]

To me, the eyes on the jacket moving is close to something I experience sometimes with my own autism: If I see a face that creeps me out, my already active imagination becomes convinced that it's about to jump scare me, & then my autism amplifies the resulting fear. This happens to me somewhat even now when I'm 18, let alone when I was a young kid like the video's subject. Of course, you may not have experienced that. I hope this helps.

[@theburningflame4975]

Gotta admit, I'm autistic and have hallucinations (mainly auditory, but minor visual and tactile ones too) linked to my autism - I don't have schizophrenia. The eyes moving thing actually made sense to me. If I look at an object, but don't look at it directly, I sometimes think I see it move (especially if I'm tired), which then causes me to turn to look at the object to check if it did move. Oftentimes, I think it's just the way the light hits it or the way my brain processes the bright light.

[@lovlibea85]

Hi, I’ve been lurking on your content for a bit, and I just wanted to suggest something. There’s this video called “It’s Just A Five Minute Walk” and it’s by Laura-Lys Alvarez, and it portrays a meltdown through the filmography of it, and it’s based on the experiences of (I think) 14 different autistic women including the creator herself. It actually helped me realize that that’s what they can look like, and I showed it to my boyfriend (we both think we need to get assessed for autism) and he found it so relatable it was disturbing and a bit upsetting/unsettling for him. So do be warned of that if you do decide to watch it, if you see this. You’re fantastic btw, I greatly enjoy your content :))

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Just watched that. Thank you!!

[@jimwilliams3816]

Thank you! KZbin has been offering that to me for a while, so you got me to click on it. I'm not sure if my vision blurs, I'll have to try and pay attention (right!). I may mostly dissociate; things look...weird. The cars freaked me out just watching, that resonated. (I live rural and hate cities...hmmm.) The thing that I noted most: that the overwhelm trigger was emotional rather than sensory. That was both surprising and affirming, because my emotions (ADHD) and thoughts are what carries me over the edge (sensory mostly wears me down and sets me up), and much of the talk I see on meltdowns makes it sound like it's almost entirely sensory overload. I know I am neurodivergent, but when I analyze my meltdowns I still hear an imaginary Freudian therapist saying "see? You just have to deal with your ISSUES!" (Actually, my psych is a bit like that.) I do work on those, and I know it's more than that, but the voice is still there too often. The other eye opener was that she made it through the wave of overwhelm -- I could FEEL that -- without it being a classic, highly visible meltdown. I certainly do the latter, not extremely frequently, thank heavens. If what she experienced was a meltdown (and I am not suggesting it wasn't, just processing the idea that it was), then I have had a LOT more of those. Yikes.

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

​@@jimwilliams3816yes! I have had so many emotional overloads. I never actually had a sensory overload before but it sounds agonizing. I do wish emotion-based meltdowns were portrayed more though

[@mievaa00]

some scenes from the Amélie movie are the most accurate depiction of sensory sensitivity imo, ofc autism is also other things than just sensory issues but still

[@gordoncooper2481]

Two television shows that have had scenes that accurately portray my experience of autistic sensory overwhelm are Heartbreak High and Ted Lasso. In the case of Ted Lasso it is explained as a panic attack, but the portrayal is very close to what I experience whenever I am in the environment he was in, which was crowded, noisy, stressful, and illuminated by confusing and painful lights. Those scenes were very relatable.

[@kristinamanion2236]

The second simulation came on, and I went yes, this is what places with a lot of people are: school, work events, conferences, etc. And colleagues always wonder why I don't network at these events but instead sit in the corner and knit. Though if the begore is what most people experienced no wonder others are confused when I say its too loud to talk. The first simulation leaned a bit far into horror editing for my experience. While malls are bright, loud, and overwhelming, I don't recall them being specifically scary as a child, but perhaps I've forgotten.

[@hannahbrown2728]

Right off the bat the second one was a much better representation of how it feels. Maybe with the first one since its kid focused and everything kids experience is pretty novel it presents differently. Though I still get blurry vision in my worst moments, but by then Im already long gone into a meltdown. The harsh attack of flourescent lights kills me some days, and I will hear a whisper from three aisles over in a grocery store. If these two videos managed to merge together with the detail focus and the more natural sound they'd be a great example. But without smell truly youre missing another layer of how harsh shit can be with sensory overload.

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

Oooh, the reflection of the white cloudy days resonates with me too. I need sunglasses because there diffused intensity of light strains my eyes more than a directional light (like a sunny day) often does. I always need sunglasses if I'm on the water or if the ground is snow or ice covered.

[@selma.lovescats]

the cafeteria video or whatever it was is accurate for me, especially the background noise. i think the brightness would be in the middle of neurotypical and autistic view for me. before my diagnosis i never knew everyone heard the noises so quiet! thats why i dont really sit with people because i cant hear them talk because of all of the background noise (and i have no friends anyway)

[@SanguinaryBlade]

Just a second... The buzzing of florescent lights, thats an autistic thing? I thought it was an everybody thing.

[@Link-dx1lx]

Wait no I swear everybody hears them buzz??

[@Redmage913]

If the fluorescent light ballast needs replacing, everyone can hear that. But I do notice the constant sound of fluorescent lights, akin to an old tube TV where only certain people notice/are affected by it, but everyone can hear when the noise is bad enough to warrant repairs.

[@zinzimashibini2949]

Same.

[@asdland2218]

These videos are just like students had a meeting and wanted to add things in from a list . I've seen other videos that are more bonkers, they easily drift into video ideas as they get excited with the project.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

😅 you're so right! I can picture the meeting!

[@YourRyeBread]

1:30 the eyes blurring when the sound is loud? Yes. So Often. 4:49 there's no distortion for me so yeah it felt weird. the horror attempts definitely dont feel realistic or good to have chosen for me. I also dont remember much after a meltdown cuz its really scary Wasnt that kid too tall for the perspective they were giving? Is that just me? 12:10 the brightness and volume feels accurate to how horribly loud everything is

[@jermfanaccount]

as an autistic guy who had to suffer through the horrid public school system (not in America but in Australia. honestly it isn't much better), i think the second simulation is super realistic to my experience. it's always so bright and colourful, and usually that doesn't irritate me as much, but oh my god the NOISE. god forbid if the class i'm in doesn't have a carpeted floor, because i'm just gonna be hearing the sounds of people's squeaky ass shoes all lesson. the horribly loud chatter, the cramped classrooms where everyone is always way too close to me, people banging on the desks (i don't know why they do that), it's all too much to the point where even the brightness becomes obtrusive. i swear neurotypicals just have their ears turned off or something.

[@laratheplanespotter]

You’ve really helped me realise how much I struggle with life and that it’s not something I’ve failed to fix. I’ve always thought I needed to fix myself when in reality, I’m just built different ❤

[@Maestro_Saber]

Weirdly enough, in the first video - it felt much more similar to my psychosis than my experience as a ND person

[@Respectable_Username]

On the other hand though, does anyone else have the AuDHD experience where half your brain is like "please no more external stimulation just go to bed and lie down and go to sleep" but then the other half of your brain goes "but I'm boooooooooooorrrreeedd". That's me right now. One of _the_ most frustrating feelingd

[@Authentistic-ism]

The thing with being looked at by lots of people, including briefly mistaking the jacket for a face looking at me, is really salient from this video in the mall. I feel it does represent how self conscious I become the more overwhelmed I become.

[@Dopevibesx]

Facts i think it’s just us having pattern recognizing cause I see faces but not psychosis just seeing things that remind me of eyes and mouths usually happens when I’m overstimulated

[@janeb2958]

Agreed, I'd love a neurotypical simulation! I've always been described by my family (jokingly, somewhat patronisingly, but overall kindly) as a "delicate flower" - there is just TOO MUCH at times. I'm recently diagnosed with ADHD and on the autism diagnosis journey in my 50s. These videos were interesting overall - what it doesn't get is the brain-ick aspect of some sounds, colours & smells, the sort of "I desperately need to get inside my skull/senses and scratch that itch/pick off that burr" feeling that is both distracting and painful so it makes you snappy and low on bandwidth the same way trying to walk entirely normally with a sharp stone in your shoe or a sprained ankle would, or doing something formal with a bad toothache. The shopping centre one did capture some of the sense of everything coming at you too fast and out of order, constantly putting you off balance - that's exactly how I feel in hard situations (shopping centres, large transit interchanges, airports, public spaces like theatres or concerts or fairs), like the information that is coming at me is suddenly both turned up in colour/brightness/volume/strength and is fragmenting, becoming kaleidoscopic. And I'm meant to track a conversation, read an information board, walk through that space at the same time? I always found it amazing that other people could do that so well! I can cope better with the sensory stuff if I'm not also dealing with people and trying to get the social stuff right - both at once is HARD. I get really snappy and come across as sulky/angry/being demanding when I'm melting down! So for example I sometimes tell people to walk across town to the place we're eating without me, so I can do the moving through space bit on my own and stop, hyperfocus, hum as needed, then meet them there and do the social stuff whilst I'm at least sitting down and most aspects of the space stay the same.

[@DelticEngine]

To be accurate for me, the fluorescent lighting and any screens would be shown flickering rapidly at different times. I've yet to see a simulation show this. It's why I get severe headaches and migraines. The sounds are a bit inaccurate in that sudden, sharp sounds would be a lot louder drawing immediate attention.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Sensory is one of those places where I sometimes think I must not qualify for my diagnosis. I’d say my sensory profile isn’t exactly neurotypical, but just as I don’t struggle with various cognition issues as much as many on the spectrum, I feel like my sensory issues are pretty manageable compared to lots of others, and some are best explained by my ADHD. That said, I am trying to stay regulated today, as it’s my wife’s birthday and I so often flame out on any given day in recent years - so I’m not going to risk watching today. But how much of that is my GAD? It’s very confusing.

[@thecolorjune]

I agree that my ADHD also somewhat masked my sensory issues with autism. For example I enjoyed the excitement of malls, but they wiped me out and I could have meltdowns once I got home, but I wouldn’t connect it to the sensory experiences. Now I’ve found that if I limit the draining sensory experiences, then I have more energy throughout the day. Even if the experience itself isn’t often as overwhelming as shown in this video.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Thank you so much, that’s really helpful. I’ve come to see how ADHD and autism produce some sensory seeking/avoiding conflicts, but the notion of coping with inputs but having it catch up with me later as crash or meltdown is something I hadn’t managed to put into words yet. I kind of sensed it, which is why when my therapist has me look for triggers, I note that they are real and relevant but somehow not the whole story. I got my AuDHD diagnosis at 62 and have been trying to manage this stuff unconsciously and/or by sheer force of will my whole life, and it’s really caught up with me over the last 6 years or so, but it is often very very opaque to me what is going on. Your comments really helped me connect some pieces, and I really appreciate it.

[@thecolorjune]

@@jimwilliams3816 I’m glad I could help! I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since age 8, but was only diagnosed with autism last week at age 21. I’ve suspected it for years. It was a huge relief to know for certain, and I’ve been working to learn more about myself and how my mind works. It’s an ongoing process, but I’m grateful to be getting the support now. I wish you the best as well 🧡

[@JonBrase]

The diagnostic criteria for autism mention both hyper- and hyposensitivities as possibilities (and sensory issues aren't required for diagnosis), and my profile seems to be mostly on the hyposensitivity end. I do have ADHD, so maybe I'm having some of the delayed reaction issues you describe.

[@jimwilliams3816]

​@@JonBrase I think I've figured out this much -- I can fall into an ADHD inattentive state that makes me oblivious to a lot. I think I have definitely used ADHD inattentiveness to block out sensory awareness and discomfort. I do know that light tends to be bright, noises are loud and certain smells are a problem. I have the issue of not being able to isolate the voice of a person I am talking to from other voices to in a noisy room; at first I thought it was hearing problems, then I realized it was cognitive processing (but what?), now I realize it's AuDHD. So I suppose what this means is my auditory processing, and maybe other senses as well, run more to the hypersensitive, if not as much as as some; and my AuDHD strategies are heavily skewed to blocking it all out, since I cannot filter or moderate it -- except what I must be blocking is awareness. And while not fixating on the inputs probably helps a bit, my nervous system is still dialing up, and I'm not aware of it until it starts nearing overload. I don't yet understand masking well, but I suppose that's one version. Thinking out loud here. That's one reason I post, typing this stuff seems to be my way of journaling. I'm no good at doing so on my own, AuDHD motivation issues. But I am highly reactive, so responding to a new idea pushes me into a hyperfocus rabbit hole...

[@TheCommonS3Nse]

As I've been getting older, I've definitely been noticing how much my eyes dart around while in public settings and how drained this leaves me afterwards. I feel like my brain is in the Bourne Identity movie and looking out for any signs that the spy agency is tailing me... but I know that I'm not actually worried about anything and I am perfectly safe. That's the level of stress that my body feels when in that setting.

[@hockeyhacker97]

4:37... I mean the point isn't to be accurate to the symptoms, it is meant to be accurate to the discomfort to the symptoms, you kind of have to go horror movie vibes to give the same feeling to someone who isn't disturbed by light or sound, that is also why they blurred the vision to give uncomfortable feelings to the light even though that was way less uncomfortable than going into an overly bright area but I get the idea of why it is horror movie vibes to simulate the feeling since you can't simulate the experience.

[@charliekahn4205]

I only just realized that the miniature artificial forest features and artfully placed quiet kiosks in the hallways of my local mall were put there on purpose to block the sound from louder stores, and made to look nature-like and/or blend in while also being complex in order to draw focus away from the loud, complicated store decorations. This is probably why the mall is still there today.

[@elizakeating8415]

For me, the blinking is one of my favourite aspects of that first video. Its not something that represents my regular sensory experience, but noticable blinking is actually one of my clearest tells for when im on the verge of a sensory overload

[@Elektrakosh]

It was pretty weird for me as a toddler/ young kid I found that the noise of a jet landing/ or taken off seemed so loud it made me cry. as a kid in primary and high school things were loud but bareable in most cases (due to old electrics I guess) once I hit around my 30's I found I was slowly getting worse....Light became a bit too much for me and my hearing (despite being damaged at a gig) can pick uup sounds when trying to sleep. I find that my 'acting chops' to mask my autism is slipping as I can't help but react if I'm too stressed through anxiety or overstimulus. I'm 45 and have basically become a wild hermit. I don't like people, loud noises and bright light is unbearable most times. I get stressed easily and see everything brighter, sharper and its gets noisier and I can physically feel my pupils dilate as I'm ready to fight or flee.

[@sampreston1791]

I'm finding exactly the same, I suspect its impacted by hormonal changes and just the burn out of a life masking. I'm still awaiting an assessment but the sensory overwhelm seems to be off the wall lately. Any human environment is just too abrasive.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

"Imagine a telephone ringing in the background that you can never answer..." - That was the best demonstration of autistic sensory burden / distraction / overload / panic I've ever heard. It was given by an autistic man giving a presentation to a group about what his sensory experience is like in public spaces. A telephone rang in the background - loudly - durring the first few minutes of his talk. THAT is what the world feels like to me in places like shopping malls, crowded streets, or when I hear fireworks, car alarms, dogs barking, loud traffic, piezo beeps in medical offices, people arguing or yelling, and yes, phones ringing! "Imagine a telephone ringing in the background that you can never answer..." When I use this analogy to decribe my sensory experience to nuerotypical people, they look utterly shocked. Then, they change the subject. Good! =) Then, I know they understand at least a little about my expereince of the world, and that empathize with me on some level. Imagining such a world shocks and overlaods THEM. The same way Autistic people are shocked and overloaded by stimuli we encounter all day, every day when navigating the nuerotypical world. These "This is what autism feels like" videos are problematic to the extent autistic people themselves are not creating them. Nuerotypical people need to run their educational autism scripts and storyboards past a reasonably representative sample of autistic people, and make adjustments accordiningly. Autism is not psychosis. Eyes on Insane Clown Posse shirts don't usually follow us. However, if you subject anyone to painfull, distracting, grating stimuli, adrenaline will increase blood pressure, heart-rate and respiration. If this burden continues or increases, overload occurs eventually, and bad things happen. The threshold for overload varies from person to person and from day to day. It's lower when we are tired, in a bad mood, or hungry or sick or are dealing with multiple sensory inputs like bright lights, pungent smells, uncomfortable clothes, heat, cold, humidity, and/or social demands. The resulting physio-emotional collapse may indeed cause temporary psychosis. If severe, repeated, and sustained enough, we may go into de-realization and shock, AKA "disassociation". Just like a nuerotypical person experiencing something traumatic like a violent attack. The sensory world does violence to us sometimes. The worst situation occurs when our autism and sensory profiles go undiagnosed and unsupported. We don't know WHY we are experiencing these feelings in "safe" places like grocery stores or whatever. The ordinary day to day world becomes violent and terrifying for us. All the while, our psychologists and psychiatrists tell us "Don't worry! The world is SAFE for you! Try this (behavioral techique, meditation, exercise, pill, diet, etc...) Then, when we are still overwhelmed, we feel like failures. Depression and dark thoughts set in. Why even try? Some of us start looking for an exit. ...any exit...☠ If you find yourself in this place like I did, there is a safe, fast and highly effective way to stop the hopelessness. Google "ketamine infusion theraphy". It saved my life in 2018. A single treatment. I've not had such awful thoughts since, but if they return, I have a way to stop them immediately) The truth is, grocery stores, shopping malls, and most public spaces, people and social demands are NOT safe for autistic people. Not even close. It's the nuerotypical world that's psychotic - not autistic people. It really is a horror show. Just watch the news (if you can stomach it) Let's face it: People are awful. Especially in groups. I'm still trying to figure out how to manage and thrive despite it, because, well, I love people! Noise cancelling earbuds help. So do lightly tinted sunglasses and a hat with a visor to control intrusive sound and light. They also mark me as different, so people's expectations of me change from "normal" to "different". This sets the stage for disclosing my autism if I choose to, and requesting accomodation. It dosen't always work. I make mistakes all the time...but like I said: I'm still figuring all this out. We all are. Things have gotten much better since my diagnosis. Last year. At age 57. First and foremost, know and be kind to yourselves my freinds... =)

[@roxyamused]

In the first simulation, the soundtrack, sound effects, sound manipulation like doppler or sound bending. It's to invoke fear, which underscores the actual experience. Add a lot of high end, filter resonance, no need to make quarters sound like metal pipes, just record it using a terrible mic with a lot of digital aliasing, have a ring or buzzes that are like 50 cent difference from each other which would be hard for anyone. For light, color, they could just have turned up the exposure, brightness, saturation a bit, made the light flicker at a really high rate that's easy for us to notice, but NTs don't experience the flicker of fluorescents, so it'd be disorienting. That's how I experience the 'snow'. I wear sunglasses at work because of the lights. The second I think doesn't over sensationalize but also could use to make things sharper. This stuff is painful, not just blurry.

[@markwright3161]

For the first one (I paused at 8:27 to comment, so maybe the second too), I think the complex bit is trying to get neurotypicals to experience their every day like those with heightened sensitivity to light, sound, smells, etc. We could watch the raw footage at a volume representative of the original environment and obviously experience it similarly to how we would if we were there, but unfortunately, so would neurotypicals, and they'd be left wondering what the problem is. As a result, the video has to be amplified in various ways to knock neurotypicals off from how they would usually be able to cope with that environment, so they will need to edit it in a way that prevents them from approaching it in their neurotypical way, if neurotypicals are to experience the same difficulty heighten sensitivity in such settings can bring, hence catching out a neurotypical with the eyes on a shirt moving to force narrower focus on that in the overall setting and the like. I think these videos need a lot more explanation around them, they shouldn't just jump straight into the 'simulation', but have context set out before, throughout and after. It should be explained that we don't experience things exactly how it's shown, that much of the editing is to replicate the intensity to a neurotypical brain of those environments, not show the exact experience. If I was to be involved in making a video like this, I think I'd have the original footage on the same screen as the edited example. I would draw the attention of the neurotypical to the specific areas that we may be more prone to fixate on/be significantly affected by with flashing arrows and circles, or what would be better would be to create some kind of pulsing of that area of the screen/detail at an intensity that would unsettle them and force them to pay more attention to them to a comparable degree, and with symbols flashing at the edges these to show which sense(s) is/are being affected. After that the overall footage would be edited to replicate any possible effects experienced by neurodivertent individuals as directed by such individuals, so if blurring of vision or similar is possible at certain points of stress, etc, and then notes added for those bits to show approximately what percentage experience those elements in those settings. These things could even be split 4 ways to be played simultaneously, one being the original footage unedited, one amplifying sounds, brightness, areas of focus, the 'active sense(s)' symbols, and the other 2 showing some of heightened visual intensity of the original footage, minus annotations, and also show the possible blurring effects, etc, that some may experience, and 2 pieces of footage enables different effects to be shown simultaneously, or one empty space for general annotations. I think I'd also create a complementary neurotypical simulation for those with the heighten sensitivities in those environments to understand how they experience that setting, so they can understand what the hyper intense 'neurodiversity simulation' is trying to overcome. Of course, I don't have the skill or network of people needed to make videos like this accurate to the widest group of autistic people possible. Edit; The second one is part of the way towards what I described doing. :) It showed a 'neurotypical simulation' first, but didn't clarify whether it was edited to be a neurotypical experience for an autistic person, so would appear abnormally dark and quiet to a neurotypical person but be experienced equal to how a neurotypical would with a level of sensitivity equal to that of an autistic person, then an autistic simulation second of the same footage, but without clarification on if it was the opposite, edited to be abnormally loud and bright to an autistic person but accurate to an autistic person's experience if their sensitivities were reduced to that of the average neurotypical. All that for this specific scenario and just focusing on the initial experience of brightness and sound, not replicating the wider range of ways these environments are experienced differently that the first tried to do with undefined/unexplained editing choices. It could have done with the original footage in the middle for additional context. Both neurotypical and autistic/neurodivergent people should find that accurate to their experience of the world at the appropriate volume and screen brightness, then the neurotypical and autistic simulations should fit in around that, too dark and quiet for neurotypicals, and too bright and too loud for the autistic neurotype respectively.

[@spliwola]

I will say that when sounds are too “loud” or “pitchy” that effect you said you find creepy I hear that, it’s almost like my ears are expanding or reacting to the pitch of the sounds and flaring it out. Clanks, loud music, certain frequencies of sound not everything. It’s hard to explain but yeah, I get what they’re trying to show. I constantly hear like a buzzing of a radio inside my head. It takes a long time in a complete silence environment for that to go away, so it’s almost never goes away.

[@kana2112]

For me, everything gets more intense, yet kinda fuzzy at the same time. I can relate somewhat to a lot of that first video. The second one the sound is spot on. Lights seem more bright than in reality though.

[@Catlily5]

For me everything gets super sharp.

[@louzantehamilton]

The first one-When it zoomed out to show the kids reaction it really hit me hard , actually got tears in my eyes. I think maybe because it switched from me feeling quite fight or flighty with the simulation bit then suddenly it reminded me of my son who is also autistic , and it so upsets me to see him struggle like that 😢

[@PhilNelson_internet_fossil]

From my experience (as an undiagnosed, possibly Aspergers syndrome, possibly something the "medical profession" is apparently ill equipped to understand well enough to reliably do more good than harm trying to "fix"), the video fails to convey the sharpness and intensity of image, the intensity and clarity of sounds, including the distortion of a cacophony of overdriven, low fidelity sound systems mixed with the reflection, from thousands of hard surfaces, of many people talking too loudly, the intense smells, of course (personally I tolerate a mix of a thousand stinks pretty well, except for strong perfume, and being a bit allergic, apparently, to some of them), and the speed and complexity generally.

[@user-zt3em9gv7s]

In my experience it doesn't look all white and washed out. It's just that every colour is very intense and hard to look at. I also can't hear my own voice in crowded places. I recall singing in choirs at school. I basically hoped that what I was singing was the right thing because I absolutely couln't tell my voice apart from the others'. Concerning the focus on details, I'm personally a visual stimmer, so whenever I'm in a new environment I just keep looking at certain parts of objects repetedly in a certain order and that distracts me and calms me down a lot. If I have no headphones with me I just try to play a specific passage of a song in my head over and over again. I think they made those eyes on the t-shirt move to symbolise that the child was imagining what would happen if they moved.

[@ShadoeLandman]

I think the eyes seeming to move on the jacket represent the uncomfortable feeling of eye contact. If you just showed a person's eyes to a non-autistic person, they wouldn't feel uncomfortable about it (most likely), but they'd feel uncomfortable with eyes on a jacket moving.

[@tigristhelynx7224]

I feel the same about fluorescent lights + visual snow. Reading any textbook was a chore as the text fuzzies "danced" and lights turned the pages an ugly gray-green that was hard to stare at. Since watching your videos, I've began to accommodate myself more, using sunglasses outside (difficult as a eyeglasses-wearer) and using Dark Reader when online.

[@pamelars7497]

Visual snow, that's something I needed

[@sirpatrick549]

One feeling I had a lot in the lunchroom, was every time a loud noise occurred I would feel a wave across my skin like every hair would stand on end.

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I relate to what some others have said here in that I find busy places with lots of light and sound overwhelming and often get quite dizzy, but I also find them exciting 😅 it's like a weird love hate relationship where I'll often seek it out but need to rest later. I would say I'm quite sensitive to smells (I have been known to crawl round my house to figure out which random bit of carpet smells bad lol) but I actually loved the smell of my primary school lunch hall. It had a smell that I always described as "sandwiches" and if I go anywhere with that smell I get an immediate nostalgia hit 😆

[@JennaGetsCreative]

Here because you mentioned this video and its performance in today's upload, watching all the way through and commenting. Maybe it'll get a second chance! I had no idea these simulation videos existed. I agree, I don't like the hallucination element. This feels like PTSD flashback driven panic, not sensory overload. (I have both Autism and PTSD.)

[@pinkharlequin994]

As an asd specialist, I can fundamentally confirm that some peoples experience of ASD can include hallucinations and voices although, understandably people who experience ASD rarely discuss this due to enormous fear that they will be stigmatised more than they already are.

[@brittastrophe]

the thing on the jacket was sort of relatable to me in the sense that being autistic in an allistic world can make me feel very paranoid, and burnout/meltdowns/shutdowns actually can lead to psychotic-like symptoms. i’m diagnosed with comorbid bipolar disorder but i don’t really see that in myself as much as just autism & cptsd which both have a connection to experiences of feeling watched 24/7. at least, for me. (and i’ve seen some others say similar).

[@brittastrophe]

also this is interesting to watch because just last night i was thinking about how difficult i can find it to explain my experience as an autistic person and how id seen these sorts of videos about other mental illnesses (and never really liked them) and i could try making animation or something instead that expressed my Own experience

[@brittastrophe]

i think the video would’ve been improved by captions on screen explaining what’s going on

[@smig2801]

I can't relate to the distortion of the sounds, but when there's too much noise I just hear a really loud mass of noise like the second video, with specific sounds eventually catching my attention. When I get overwhelmed and try to escape if feels like every sound, bright light and smell are extremely invasive, while I try not to lose it. I get dizzy, nauseous, and panicky.

[@Rae-ic7sp]

I just want say thank you for putting these videos out for everyone

[@MarcMunkyTTV]

I wish that an audio engineer went over that last video and had like one friend you're trying to focus in on hearing, but it's going in and out. They could've done that with the focus too. Like when someone walks by, briefly change the focus to them and back to the friend quickly and to different spots in the room. The brightness was too much, but also it might feel that way because of being sensitive to brightness like that. Hmmm.... I wonder. It's always going to be incomplete though trying to give our perspective, but I think those changes would've made it more towards my experience. We had spots with circular tables in high school and I always preferred sitting there with friends, because it was easier to focus on hearing the conversation.

[@AvengefulSiren]

I don’t do well with fluorescent lights at all or intense smells or loud places. I almost had a meltdown as an adult at a popular candy store. It happened to be crowded, loud, bright, and the smell of all the candy just drove me overboard. One of my friends noticed and took me outside, told me to look at the floor, and he calmed me down. Thank goodness for that because I’m 28 and having a meltdown as an adult can be quite terrifying and embarrassing. People judge harsher if you’re an adult having a meltdown

[@nathanbeer3338]

The problem with these type of videos is that it can only center around a single individual who has autism which may mislead the neurotypicals thinking that every person on the spectrum feels and sees the same things. My worst experience with this problem was that in high school, my schoolmates and I who are on the spectrum were not allowed to cross the road without someone holding or hand, I understand where the school staff were coming from, but that was just degrading.

[@XiomaraDragons_]

I have autism and I can’t sleep without this band thing a bit like headphones it tells you different stories and things like that but what’s most annoying is a need to have it on high volume so I’m going to sleep and then out of nowhere there’s this loud LOW BATTERY and it’s SO ANNOYING 💀💀

[@Kaye09MNchick]

I feel like the simulators can be helpful for NTs but, I've noticed they're missing at least two to three senses that can really affect an Autistic person. Sight and sounds are typically the only senses that I have seen in these simulators simply because there's no current wide spread technology where someone can watch a video online and physically smell, touch, and taste the thing in the video. So, while I kind of like these simulators and some can be pretty accurate (especially the one where the focus was darting around...I do that a TON), I also feel like there is too much of a limit for them to accurately give a NT the FULL experience as an Autistic person. This is why it's SO important for the Autistic community to be a part of any conversation about Autistic needs, supports, etc. We need more Autistic people in positions where the community's best interests are heard and respected.

[@hockeyhacker97]

6:42... Yeah cloudy days can be way brighter than sunny days to me, I hate going out on cloudy days where the clouds are thin enough the sun gets through because it is brighter than when it is one small light source rather than one spread out large dispersed light source.

[@breakfastattwilight]

I wonder if the face on the jacket was emphasizing how faces on ANYTHING, including inanimate objects, can still seem like someone is looking at you? When I was younger, I had to flip over magazines, books, etc. with faces on them looking straight ahead because I felt uncomfortable with having their eyes on me, even though I knew they were inanimate objects. For example, I have a Dragonball Z manga with a picture of Goku staring straight ahead on the spine. That was the only book on my bookshelf that I had with the spine not facing outwards because I didn't like Goku staring at me while getting dressed in my room, lol

[@michaelhyde-parker6344]

what I used to do in a noisy room was to try to single out one conversation & focus on that, but that gets harder and harder to do. When I discovered sensory earplugs they became a godsend as they save my ears & brain.

[@rd76pag]

I have to wear sunglasses when I am outside in the daylight. My eyes literally hurts when I am out in the daylight. Continuous loud sounds makes my body tense up and gives me anxiety. I remember about a year ago that I was with a friend of mine. We was eating at a restaurant when my ears suddenly got overwhelm. Due to the continuous loud sounds that I was subjected to. I had to cover my ears in order to cope a little until we left the place. I am usually listening to music when I am out in the public. The music helps me not to get overstimulated in public.

[@buttonwoods]

My first thought, when Alex from the first video went into a full blown meltdown, being "why hasn't his mom pulled him back and scolded him yet?" probably says a lot about my childhood

[@maggierestivo5256]

Thank you for your comments about white skies! I feel the same way. They kind of creep me out, to be honest. I prefer darker, grey skies to the white ones. The glare, yes! It's almost like a horror movie for me. I can't go out if the sky is like that.

[@inongezulu5859]

Didn’t think much of it but it felt like someone pointing a flashlight in your eyes, I wear sunglasses (probably look silly when there’s no sun but just the whitish grey skies that seem really bright, but no one else seems to have an issue with)

[@dmgroberts5471]

For me, it's mainly faces. Most "neutral" expressions look vaguely disdainful to me. I can't tell the difference between a fake smile and a genuine one. Stuff like that. So, in public, with lots of people around, my brain is constantly trying to process people's expressions. This is very tiring. It's like being in a room full of moving, talking Rubik's-cube-people. I think a good simulation would be a room where all the lights are white LEDs, there's loud white noise in the background, and all the people have paper plates over their faces that have really small text on them that's spelled slightly wrong. And if you look into anyone's eyes the entire screen goes white with a scare chord.

[@jimwilliams3816]

I have a similar thing with faces -- I wasn't that aware of it until I took Baron-Cohen's eye expression test, and discovered that I regarded most "ambiguous" (to me) eyes as hostile. My favorite of these was the one that was supposed to be "desire." Good thing I was never interested in or capable of flirting. I didn't score unbelievably badly, but mostly because it was multiple choice. I got many of them through process of elimination. My completion speed would have been near the bottom were it timed.

[@corafishy]

your comment about the sky on an overcast day affecting you resonated with me so much. it feels so intense to me - like tiring for my eyeballs and i just get kinda melancholy.

[@CoreenMontagna]

I love how you intersperse so many childhood videos of yourself!

[@scepticalhyenas5750]

The florescent lights in that last one would drive me nuts. The flashing would bash me over the head with a migraine and the sounds from the damned things would finish me off.

[@littlechickenman]

So far the best way i found to describe how loud noises feel like to me is its like someone stabbing me in the brain, or giving me an electric shock. Not entirely accurate but the closess I've got.

[@davespicer3647]

For me, sounds when I'm stressed feel at though they're happening *inside my head* so there's no way for me to defend myself from them. BTW I was dxd at 46 and am now 75.

[@dmgroberts5471]

YES, THAT! ...I understood that reference.

[@jimwilliams3816]

I think I know what you mean. Anxiety and irritability feel like that to me. It’s a bit like a shock, but it’s kind of tangy, especially if it persists. I have this idea it’s stress hormones.

[@AutisticHermit]

I was diagnosed 15 days ago as Autistic and I always struggled to explain how I experienced things differently, So I liked what you said about having a neurotypical version as I would love to see how they see things. I spent too long writing this comment and can't remember what my point was lol Just a very enjoyable video as usual always look forward to the next upload.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Thanks for sharing that! I relate SO much to taking a really long time to write a comment. Mine get ADHD long, but also I am constantly processing what I am writing, and rethinking it, and trying not to say things in a way I shouldn’t. I don’t even want to admit how long I can spend writing one.

[@AutisticHermit]

@@jimwilliams3816 Yh it's difficult, I've spent over 25 years on youtube and this is my tenth comment probably in all that time. This community seems worth the effort to at least make an attempt to write comments. So I appreciate your response and sharing also. As i'm sure like a lot of us out there it's nice to see familliar experiences and not feel so seperate.

[@thelifeofelle1389]

Why am I crying after the first one...because I'm awaiting an evaluation while seeing signs in my MUCH younger brother and my mom told me he "threw a fit" when they went trunk or treating at a nearby church and how everyone stared and how she wanted to discipline him. My mom has no clue what autism is and probably would see it as a stain on the family name 🙄 so I had come to the conclusion that I would hide my diagnosis (if given one) but...if my brother is also autistic and is being raised by a strict no-nonsense parent on top of having no support, I can't help but think my getting an official diagnosis is the only way he would have even the slightest chance at getting the support he needs

[@TeahThyme]

There’s a lot of things that I didn’t realise or think about but I’ve had hallucinations from sleep deprivation and that’s what the first video reminded me of more, there’s this extra alertness that makes you look out for things like you’re expecting them to be hostile. I’ve seen eyes where there was none, or paintings look at me (that was really eerie, but it’s worse when it’s a photograph or something realistic, that just seems to make it even more difficult to process as “it’s not actually doing that”) and even mistaken street lights as ufo’s that were coming for me. It’s obviously different for everyone but particularly since my psychosis came from sleep deprivation it both amplified senses as well as “washing them out” since my brain couldn’t process them. Insomnia is really not something to take lightly, sleep deprivation in general is not good for you mentally OR physically Sensory overload can for me cause shutdowns where I dissociate heavily, that can sometimes distort the surroundings or at least my memories of it afterwards. Amusement parks being nothing but a blur while I can take a walk in nature and remember every mushroom in as high quality of a picture as my VSS allows for … I may also have told doctors that I hear voices, can’t hear what they’re saying because they’re outside of the room but I can tell that they’re laughing. Old guy probably couldn’t hear the nurses next door while I can and will locate a beeping noise that other people need to put next to their ears to hear, because he gave me meds for that without further questions than if I believe they’re real or not, which I’m pretty sure that the nurses are real so yes I’m pretty sure that the voices are real. Well. Stuff happens, particularly when you’re already suspected of being psychotic due to dissociating while having no idea how to describe it as well as hallucinating after not being able to sleep for five days straight @_@

[@kbrennan3836]

I actually liked the way they edited the sound in the first one. I guess I experience sound as a combination of the two videos: there's a background roar that I can kind of get used to, but if I'm moving through a space, unexpected sounds from close by will hit me way too clearly and are pretty intrusive.

[@drtaverner]

It's hard to know how good the first video is because it's trying to evoke for NTs what it's like to have ASD. I think that it's not really made for us, but to try to trigger NTs.

[@howdoesonename7090]

I find the sounds particularly are difficult to communicate to people sometimes. For me I can tell when I'm getting overwhelmed because the sounds become oppressive. All these background sounds start ramping up in volume and I become suddenly aware that I can't escape them, but they keep getting louder and louder in this almost persistent beat. It's this feeling of being trapped, of being surrounded and almost attacked by the noise. Usually I find that whether I shutdown or meltdown too is dependent on how sudden things like noise are; if it's steadily building in the background I will shutdown, but if I'm intensely surprised I meltdown instead (e.g. loud background music vs something being dropped) though my meltdowns are much more easily triggered by a physical sensation than noise personally and I think that comes from being raised by a very noisy family where I've had to learn to cope with lots of noise. That lunchroom example I found very closely replicated my experience of a school cafeteria, minus the lighting being a bit too bright. I've always been amazed how people can seemingly hear each other so easily in a busy environment like in a cafe, as I've always struggled to hear other people over the conversations of people around me and sometimes will even be able to hear more of what's going on in other people's conversations than my own. Never realised how much quieter it must be for neurotypicals o.o

[@gtb81.]

that lunchroom one was surreal to me, i didn't realise how quiet it could be. i thought everyone heard all the convos overtop eachother? what??

[@SliceyMcHackHack]

That first one gave me actual anxiety.. And when it switched POV and the second that child snapped I nearly cried.. That was so jarring.. I was not prepared..

[@catpawrosales4265]

Mind. blown. I had NO IDEA, serously NO IDEA not everyone experienced the cafeteria like that. The screeching chairs and overhead flickering buzzing lights...the barrage of loud voices... I've always been told that I'm sensitive, but...?!?! Everytime I've forced myself to stay with friends in a bar or pub, everyone talking and laughing THEY CAN ACTUALLY HEAR EACHOTHER TALK?!?!?? It's not just a wall of sound and lipreading?? And I find this out today??? I'm almost 57! I got my first headphones when I was 13-14 and I LOVED being able to shut the world out. My hearing is my superpower, it's how I know what's going on, who's where, etc. Hearing tests shows I hear way above the norm, up to 27'000 kHz. I can replay music in my head, backwards and forwards, disect harmonies and isolate instruments, listen to one at a time. I wanted to work in sound engineering, it would have been perfect for me. I love sound editing.

[@SonnyMoonie]

A few months older here. I noticed after watching a video that had a soundtrack starting with a couple of hours of Pink Floyd, when the soundtrack switched to an early 80s variety mix, "Burnin' For You" had such noisily sharp cut-and-paste editing, that it seemed like an up-front part of the sound of the song. Tom Tom Club, Big Audio Dynamite, Siouxsie and the Banshees, some Liz Phair, that's the good stuff. Any disagreements? Any other suggestions?

[@SonnyMoonie]

So I was trying to say with that comment, I don't know how much my hearing is like that, if I can hear enough high frequency anymore, or is the sort of music I think is well mixed and interesting, just noise, compared with what you would like? I don't know much about mixing, actually, or much about what artists and albums are supposed to be popular with people who appreciate higher hifi. It's more about, I wonder if an entire side of the frequency spectrum or thing about sound is missing from what I hear, so that my choices between artists or albums or songs would be random as far as that segment goes. I think "What Makes You Happy" by Liz Phair is the coolest sounding of the tracks I was trying to mention. I think "Kiss Them For Me" be Siouxsie and the Banshees might be the most interesting musically, dreamy too. "Rush" by Big Audio Dynamite seems very creative about music and mixing, and also relevant lyrically at my age. "Genius of Love" by Tom Tom Club is like just fun, crunchier individual sounds than I remember it having, while I think they were going for and getting the impression of a lot of clarity in the overall mix. It's unimportant to me whether you know or would listen to any of those tracks. I'm just worried a little, maybe some of them would hurt your ears in high pitched parts of the sound I might not be able to hear, or some would have terrible clashes that are the opposite of music you'd choose to listen to, or music you'd work on remixing yourself. So I'm just asking for some hint whether there's similarity in what we hear, and how we hear, even if you choose to listen to none of that, to protect your hearing, or your sanity. At least I'm not suggesting you listen to cringey big band noise like "Back To Chicago" by Styx, or that you blow out your high frequency hearing by listening to "Smoky Mountain Rain" by Ronnie Milsap at high volume, or "My Girls" by Animal Collective at any volume. I do have some sort of standards and ethics, I think.

[@catpawrosales4265]

@@SonnyMoonie I think you'll find the mini series "Ways of hearing" by Damon Krukowski interesting, I sure did, and he explains it way better than I could. But it comes down to this, at least for me, certain ways of compression HURTS, like the tinny sound of a poor recording played through low quality speakers. This is much more common in the digital era than it ever was in the analogue age. It tires my ears and makes them ring afterwards even on low volume, and feel like nails on a chalk board. I recently got new earbuds which range from 20-40,000 and it feels like I can breathe listening when I use them, there's no concrete roof ready to hit me on the head. It's relaxing. But only for a few hours, then I'm 'cooked', lol.

[@catpawrosales4265]

@@SonnyMoonie I love Pink Floyd

[@NyoomMonster]

The second was pretty spot on for me with the sound. Every thing is approximately that volume relative to each other for me, all the time.

[@Ghoulbum]

I used to stare at the ground when I was outside in the sun as a kid or in bright places. I didn't think too much about doing it, but I now realize I was trying to avoid that sensory overwhelm.

[@AOT_suicidalmaniac]

disclaimer : venting; a single curse word I'm not sure what to do. I've spent years wondering, doing research on what I could possibly have as a diagnosis. Nothing seemed to fit me. I want to find something that will make sense of the majority of my symptoms if not all of them, then i can work on finding the co-occurring disorder(s). Recently, since around a year ago I've been doing research on autism. I've just recently started to compile my research into a document(s) to show people. I've been so positive this could be it. Everything feels right to me, the research, the self-assessments, hearing other people's stories. But my mother along with other people in my life keep telling me I'm not autistic and that they don"t see it. Which is fine, I guess. But they aren't giving me an answer as to what else it could be. They aren't even giving it a second thought. I've been hyperfixated on my mental state for YEARS. But no one takes my thoughts or suggestions on what it could be seriously even when I thought it wasn't autism or it was something else. No one is helping me on this. They are just treating the symptoms, giving me pills, and assigning random shit to me that makes no sense. I want to know the source of the symptoms. I'm 17 years old now, soon I'll really have to do all this work on my own. All the neglect on the topic of what I have is really getting to me. I'm starting to have serious doubts. People keep telling me to stop focusing on my mental state and diagnosis, "it's not healthy for you", "I'd prefer you watching/researching other things on the internet", "I'm going to restrict your access to the internet". I'll admit i can be obsessed on the topic to the point it's very noticeable and interrupts things in life. But I'm the same way about Warrior Cats, Netflix's Arcane T.V series, and writing my own stories. I watch, read, and write so much it's noticeable by others as well and it's all i do. It's the same intensity i have for my research. So why is it any different? I genuinely don't understand. My mother says that I'm being stubborn and that I think other viewpoints and thoughts are wrong if they aren't aligning with my own. "You want people to agree not understand" Is what she would say. I don't feel like I think like that, but because she always says that, I wonder if she is right that I do think that way. I used to have a therapist, but they weren't kind to me so I'm in the process of looking for a new one. Should I keep doing research on it? Should I fight for it? Should I give up? What should I do? Looking for genuine advice! [Sorry if it's long]

[@wittykittywoes]

i have sensory issues, but not autism. Its interesting to see the overlaps and the differences, thank you for this resource

[@streled5361]

I think the Joker's eyes moving might be a reference to the eye contact avoidance, a very common trait in autistic people

[@zinzimashibini2949]

I think the first one may be a bit overexaggerated. The second one is surprising and definitely accurate about the way cafeterias are for me as an autistic. I really want a neurotypical simulator too!