when life seems to go downhill

Me when ive got a war in my mind
jewelry collection: evryjewels.com/collections/av...
tiktok & ig: @avreyovard
biz: [e-mail]
xoxo ave

[@marlaabee]

“That’s part of being a girl, is just having fucked up thoughts” Felt.

[@tiffanyann9936]

Me too! So well said!

[@tabbyalex8949]

Honesty, that’s a part of being human, gender doesn’t have anything to do with it

[@jayk5969]

not to get too ~parasocially attached~ but your videos always hit me so hard bc somehow it seems like we’re going always going through similar things at the same time and it makes me feel so seen and less alone in my struggles. i’m really sorry you’ve suffered as much as you have this past year avrey, you didn’t deserve any of it. thank you for being open with us and i’m glad therapy and journaling is helping and you’re trying to treat yourself with more grace. definitely have compassion for yourself during this time and take things one step at a time. i hope your relationship with food and body image gets better. love u sm always ❤

[@melissaflores6988]

From the deepest part of my heart thank you for sharing this

[@marianelagimenez700]

what is your "best shape" anyways? according to who? is this your thought or someone else's? remember these questions, they have helped me a lot

[@savannahwatson2028]

You’re openness is so seen and is so encouraging to those who feel/have the same or similar struggles. The fact that you use your pain to heal others intentionally or not is so inspiring

[@bl3n]

Thank you for being so vulnerable online. A lot of people are rooting for you. Please know that you are loved.

[@carysanna4152]

I am so grateful for this video and it has came at the perfect time for me. I've watched you for years and feel like I have truly watched you grow up whilst I've grown up. I also would like to show my gratitude for you being thoughtful and caring enough to not share the bad habits you found yourself following since it can affect people more than most people even consider. I'm sending you health and happiness for the future. Nothing you said in this video was 'wrong', it was raw and straight from the heart and I feel like you needed to say this and get this off of your chest in order to heal. Proud of you, and grateful for you Avrey.

[@gabriellaharnadek]

Avrey - I am SO proud of you for posting about this. Taking that step means that you're committing yourself to this healing journey because you've invited us into your life and that means you have hundreds of thousands of people that can help to hold you accountable. Which can be TERRIFYING. But it is also SO important to have community and to have people that are able to hold you accountable when you aren't strong enough to ask for help yourself or even notice that you need it. I'm so sorry that you've been suffering - I know the feeling far too well. Healing is a lifelong journey but it's a beautiful one. Two years ago, I was incredibly unwell and yesterday I ran my first half marathon. True, all-encompassing, and fulfilling health is so possible. And the hard times make the great times feel even that much better and more rewarding

[@ronanenos7063]

you are so eloquent and graceful. i’ve struggled with this for years, thank you for opening up and helping others to not feel so alone 💜

[@Miranda-zn4xy]

So happy that you are sharing this! I struggled with almost identical issues my first two years of college. It's the perfect storm of perfectionism, independence, and the need for control on top of pressures from society, social media, the modeling industry, etc that can cause these things to happen. TBH therapy, literature on the subject, and seeing other creators fully healed from similar issues basically eradicated all of that for me. I wish you the best on your journey. Book rec: Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer

[@nope6601]

oh honey, i feel the same way and you're not alone and i am so proud of you to come to that realization. i am going through a breakup bc of cheating, and have the same eating habit of not being able to swallow but then taking advantage of it and eating everything too much at once. but watching this video gave me the biggest comfort ever bc you describe perfectly what's going on inside of me. and i am working on getting better and you give me peace and faith

[@autisticz]

oh avrey… as someone who is disordered currently, wishing you the best in recovery , we love you ❤❤

[@poopypiggy69420]

felt. you're just covering all of the shit im going through and i thank you for being brave and sharing this online---makes me feel less alone

[@kathrync.144]

I've been going through something similar lately - unfortunately it's pretty common. You've motivated me to try journaling to help! I hope you feel better soon 🤍

[@ashleynichole1332]

thank you so much for this. cried so much because i relate too much. i’ve struggled w food for most of my life. i know these videos are hard for you but i appreciate you being vulnerable more than you know. keep growing 💓

[@cecilegg]

i think a lot of us needed to hear this, really appreciate you sharing this!! x

[@maddiganmarie]

this video resonates with me a lot. i feel the same way. in fact i just went to the doctor and talked about my anxiety and i got medicine for it 😭 i’m so happy i’m a step closer to happiness

[@kindofadulting]

Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. Hugs with consent! I’m sure this video is exactly what someone like myself needed to hear. Thank you for being real. Manifesting your healing and everyone else who’s going through their own silent battles. ❤❤❤

[@photosdeluce3573]

Thank you sm for opening and talking about, I've been in recovery of an ed for almost 2-3 years now and it is always helpful to see that you are not the only one struggling. We all struggle in different ways but we need time, patience and selfcare so sharing is always a relief. Tysm, love you and take care

[@taniaalvarad0]

Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability on such an open and large platform. You are helping more people than you know. Love you and your videos very much!

[@antoniamercado1306]

thank you for being so vulnerable with us avrey. watching your videos is always so comforting because you’re always so real and authentic with us; it’s truly appreciated. i hope you continue to follow those healthy habits and heal with time. sending so much love your way🤍

[@scottyrobinson5708]

I swear Avery Ovard you are the only one keeping me alive during this challenging difficult and tough time I love you & you go girl hang in there stay strong!💯⭐️🤩❤️❤️❤️

[@haileyabecassis3713]

"Instead of just feeling free" this HIT me. I've struggled with disordered eating a lot in the past, and I fully understand what you're going through. I've been in a healed place for a while now but it is still so difficult to not slip into those old patterns sometimes. Just remember to be kind to yourself and I know you'll get through it

[@jessxkay]

i am going through a breakup right now, and hearing that you also struggled to keep anything down made me feel so seen. it feels impossible to do anything for yourself and keep the same habits as the person you were before. thank you for sharing this with us avery ❤

[@thobsss]

I love the vulnerability. I have had a good relationship with food throughout my life but uni is kinda messing it up a little. I’m studying Physiology and it has been SOOO eye opening. Food is soo important and is how you thank your body for doing incredible things to keep you alive. It affects so many aspects of your body and mind. I’m so glad to have a lecturer who’s passionate about this and drives the message home. FOOD IS A GOOD THING. She has inspired me to try to eat healthier and I’m excited to go on the journey, even though I’m finding it difficult to start. Uni is basically my whole life (which needs to change) and sometimes I prioritise it over food and caring for my body. I also have to overcome my anxiety of going to the gym. I, too have a long way to go.

[@grunge-ny5lp]

im so proud of you avrey! i’ve been struggling so much with food as well, and comparing myself to where i was at last year, it’s been so hard but i now have a better relationship with food and it helps so much to know that im not the only one struggling, especially since i look up to u so much. rlly thank you for sharing and i wish you nothing but the best & healing ❣️

[@avabradley2417]

thank you for sharing & being vulnerable. sending you love & a big hug 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@IsaacHwa]

avrey, you're great and we're all rooting for you! we are proud of you for all that you've overcome and i believe that you've got the strength within you to overcome all else that you have ahead of you :-) sending love always

[@meghanhughes]

[@finessepr1ncess]

this video hit me really hard. im going to visit my parents for a month and im actually terrified that i wont be able to follow my eating routine everyday where i know exactly (calories and other rules :(() what im eating. thanks for talking about this topic its nice to know someone is going through similar x x

[@silent_hermitcrab1256]

I feel so seen. I went through a breakup 4 months ago (I also got cheated on lol) and lost a ton of weight which I still haven’t been able to gain back. I’ve never hated my body more in my entire life, my self esteem in on the floor. I’ve since moved countries and am living on my own for the first time at 18 and I’m hoping this change in scenery will help me begin to heal myself and my relationship with food. Sending love and healing energy your way. We’re all in this together

[@mariamaljaberi3730]

wait she got cheated on??! I’m sorry you both went through that but you’re stronger now

[@optimistichaos9004]

I know it’s hard, I’m also struggling with my mental health right now. But I feel that what really matters is that we are aware of it and are making moves to change things for ourselves for the better. We’ll get better 💌 Thanks for being vulnerable and open

[@leahfleischner564]

So proud of you. Sending so much love

[@desireemichelle168]

thank you for making this. you have no idea how much i relate to this lately.

[@ranz177]

Be strong we love and support you 🖤🖤🖤

[@Msforevermakeup21]

There is not a single video of yours that I don’t want because you are so freaking inspiring and I relate to you in too many levels and I am so appreciative of you talking about it ❤

[@EmilyHummingbird]

My life has been super poopy lately. Thank you for being open with your own stuff, it helps me feel less alone. ❤️

[@cryptic9917]

thank you, this is such a raw video, i dont think i’ve ever connected like this with a video.

[@fdoihgsd]

thank you so much for sharing this...going through a similar situation (breakup and disordered eating)...i would love if you continue sharing your journey of healing with us.

[@olyanaioannidou8526]

I came back to this video because i remember it was comforting and it is, thank u

[@selindoygun521]

I know exactly how you feel. I am slowly healing my relationship with food/exercise. It’s a roller coaster process. You’ve got this, we’ve got his ❤

[@gabbyyan5088]

Hearing you speak about this immediately brought you down from the pedestal that I had you on in the best way possible. Thank you for talking about this Avrey.

[@risika]

I was listening to a podcast that said, “it’s important to live life by design rather than emotion. Basically, sticking to a routine is what allows us to be the healthiest version of ourselves (especially when you're fighting these demons ex. OCD for me). In my journey - I’ve had to overhaul how I approach work/habits by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my habits (ex. journaling/working out) - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on my youtube channel. Because historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up

[@somethinggood9267]

I like what u said

[@maddiemilton_]

thanks for sharing this- as a model myself i put so much pressure on having perfect habits.. then i started trying to cut corners as well. that being said I'm currently suffering from gastritis and pre-forming stomach ulcers. huge wake up call. using food to heal our bodies is so important, and sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize

[@lalaleviste]

i love the way you edit your vlogs. its so calming and pleasing to the eyes.

[@liamkljsdjb4077]

It took me so long to stop letting my life revolve around food and weight and all of that jazz. Now I’m at such a better place and actually enjoying life. I’m so glad for you, that you’re working for that too, to enjoy life and have love for yourself. It’s not easy.

[@mattisonlampe5149]

thank you for being so vulnerable

[@barbiedoll44]

ive been feeling this way lately. i used to deal with an eating disorder for years and i decided to recover a couple months ago and it was amazing, some hard days but that’s to be expected i was living life & loving myself. i relapsed a few days ago and it was fucking miserable. i do not want to put myself through any of that shit ever again, exactly as you said there are healthier ways to maintain a fit body and ive done it before so i do not need the unhealthy miserable “faster” way of doing it. i am better than that. i love myself and i will not harm myself ever again. i deserve better than that. and i am so glad u feel the same way

[@maggie6618]

I feel like you just took all of these thoughts from my brain. Thank you for this!!!!!

[@kailynyoung859]

You describing your relationship with food after your breakup is EXACTLY what happened to me when I went through a divorce about a year ago. One day near the end of my marriage, my appetite simply disappeared. I had been a massive foodie before this and cooking was by far my most valued hobby, which I suddenly didn't have anymore. I dropped a ton of weight extremely quickly and I can totally relate to you explaining just how strange it was because it essentially changed overnight. I also had the same phase you did when I could eventually keep food down again it was so easy to justify bad decisions with "I've lost so much weight, what will this one bad meal do?" I'm just now starting to settle into my "new" body and focusing as much as I can on nourishment (i.e. what will my elderly self wish she had eaten like in order to stay feeling good as long as possible?) and also exercising purely for my mental health and not paying attention to calories burned at all. Wishing you all the best and hoping you know you're not alone in this

[@anadusao]

avrey you have no idea how much you opening up about your relationship with food means. i have been struggling for the past two months out of nowhere with eating and having no appetite and i completely relate to everything you've said. this is fucking up my life and i hate it because eating/food shouldn't be such a big deal when it constitutes a big part of one's life. like i shouldn't have to overthink dinner with with my grandparents or how travelling/eating out is going to affect me. i hate it here!! trying slowly but surely to stick to new habits and getting better but it's tough out here. and i just want to get better.

[@MarkAg47]

Wishing you health and happiness young lady.

[@amberweimer8660]

This has been really inspiring to me about taking control of my ed, i rlly appreciate you

[@thetorturedreader]

oof, this hits. thank you for posting this, it had to take a lot of courage. im on a health journey as well and healing my relationship with food is hard, but i'm slowly getting better with it.

[@jerichomendoza8883]

you're strong. remember that. the fact that you're still here today, opening up about your life is an implicit billboard that's saying you are STRONG. introvert support from the Philippines Av!

[@lucyjade6345]

sending love! it gets better! pinky promise

[@taiebaazad3199]

This genuinely made me cry for some reason

[@niurka7]

love this and love you, thank you for being an inspiration and for our girly talks they mean more than you know🤍

[@isabellewillemse]

Very relatable... I can imagine your painful thoughts. You're not alone!

[@dinakongevold8770]

i relate sooo much to this. thank you for this video. i really needed this💗💗💗

[@chloetaylor1509]

this video was very helpful and motivating for me to also work on being healthy again, thank you avrey luv you!

[@taylorhurt1014]

thank you so much for making these kind of videos

[@marialauraverso]

this was so refreshing to hear. Thank you for sharing

[@jaquelinezelaznog355]

Thanks for sharing Audrey, my mom passed away 5 months ago, and I've been struggling so hard with food and health issues, food make some anxious, honestly there's a lot of things that been making me feel anxious, I feel like I'm bad to myself, sometimes I feel like I neglect many things, that I should do a lot more for myself even tho I've been trying so hard to achieve my goals. Life feels somehow like I'm in a big rush lately, I feel false, I've talk with my therapist about all of this and that's been helpful. But the big change is within me, sometimes I feel like a little child again, I miss my mom so much, and I feel that the pressure that I feel is because I want to make her proud. I wanna be myself again, I wanna feel like I'm living, enjoying, breathing, I want to be in nice to myself. Life it's an unexpected journey, things happen, people go and come, being this age is just crippling amazing and horrible at the same time. I'm just glad that I found this video. I really hope life can makes us feel again the best way again ❤️

[@katehume4985]

u have no idea how much I needed to hear someone else come to the conclusion I really to come to myself ❤

[@ttorianderson]

when you stumble into a video and it immediately speaks to your heart

[@inesabidcharef8255]

Yup...u're right everybody is in a mental breakdown from a hill to another most problems solved but the relationship between you and you're body or generally yourself is time consuming social media make it so hard I'm saying this to you conveniencing myself to really believe that I can make my own relationship so stong stopping by closing every other toxic Instagram photo and ACCEPT the reality that people are so critical about yourself

[@jupitired777]

sending u the best vibes avrey

[@renatavargas3683]

thank u so much for this

[@remavora]

oh avrey.. seeing you tear up made me really feel for you. I feel like on social media we’re supposed to - as women - just bounce back from break ups and have our “hot girl single” moment so quickly. but that’s absolutely not the reality for i would say most people. life is hard. and you are so right, relationships with food effect more than we think. i think a good idea is, instead of trying to “be in the shape i was before my breakup”.. be in shape and have a mindset accounting for all the things you’ve gone through, as the person you were pre-breakup is a version of yourself that hadn’t gone through those things. that version of yourself is not who you’ll ever be again (due to life’s circumstances you’ve gone through).. and that’s 1000% OK to understand that sometimes things are going to be harder due to life’s circumstances. but that doesn’t mean the person you can be now, after the fact, can’t be just as good or better as the person you were “a year ago”. i am so proud of you girl❤ be patient with yourself. give yourself credit where it is due, and never worry about “saying the wrong thing” - how you feel is how you feel. no one can take that away from you. you have all of my love and support.

[@elisazouza]

i missed your videos AAAAA WELCOME BACK

[@zofia7657]

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this

[@dreamysol]

thank you for sharing this ❤ i'm sending you love and wishing you the best

[@nead_sinead]

Avrey, even the way you're speaking show how enlightened you are about how you're coping. It's clear you understand struggles with food are common/circumstantial and go wayy beyond the question of 'looking good' (you said yourself, you're still in good shape, but mentally you are in pieces). With the level of self-awareness you're showing, repairing your relationship won't be 'easy' per se, but it will be holistic and hopefully enduring (but journeys have ebbs and flows, so give yourself credit x1,000 sister!)

[@carolineswn4]

Perfect timing for me. Sending my love to you

[@francescabruzy0112]

i felt every bit of this omg!

[@mariaaaaali]

Needed this ❤️ thank you

[@theGer-Ver]

You got this! Stay strong girl!

[@Marenoficial]

Thank you for sharing Avery ❤️‍🩹 feel u. Lots of love,

[@carsyntillman1681]

Hi Avrey! I just wanted to reach out, I just started crying watching this video bc I am going through the same exact thing you are going through with food, I just dropped a lot of weight bc I wasn’t eating at all, and now these past few days I’ve been eating like shit and when you said “oh it doesn’t matter bc I’m skinny” That was my exact same thought. It’s so crazy bc I relate so much🫶🏼thank you for sharing this video, it shows that we aren’t alone💚 it means so much to me bc I just realized I am doing the exact same thing.

[@cdk456]

that opening clip omgggg

[@Grace-cv7gv]

This is so fucking spot on and well said thank you for sharing your vulnerability as a girl I feel as though you spoke exactly how I was feeling inside ❤

[@abbyparsons197]

Thank you so much for sharing this

[@makeupbymissp]

You are so valid. Thank you for sharing

[@rainybard7245]

i’ve been trying to loose the covid weight for over a year now but i’m attached to the comfort food cuz in the shutdown i looked forward to my food, snacks etc to be exciting for the day

[@malstarplanet]

Love you Avrey ❤

[@smileytan]

sending all the love ❤️

[@christinapugacheva6913]

oh i feel everything you’ve said

[@reginacoppel982]

Love youuu girl ❤️❤️❤️

[@funerls]

everyone’s experience is different and everything you said hit a spot for me.. i’m currently in the process of healing from bad habits and trying to mend my relationship with food back.. something that i wanna share that definitely helped me was cooking. cooking for yourself and others.. seeing yourself and others enjoy a meal you made feels euphoric.. food didn’t feel bad when i got impressed with myself and when i see my family and friends enjoying food that they deserve.. after a hard workout or my mom coming home to a warm comforting meal i made after a long day at work.. it just became an eye opener that everyone is deserving of good food.. everyone is deserving of nurturing thing that keeps them going.. something that fuels people so we’d have energy to take care of eachother and love eachother while getting pleasure of something yummy at the same time.. food was never and will never be the bad its always going to be there for you

[@thesilentcartographer5575]

I've always hated public laundry rooms. Stolen clothing, weird people, filthy surfaces. I don't miss it one bit. The best thing I learned living alone, is that it's normal to get lost within yourself. It's the best time to step outside yourself and evaluate where you are, who you are, and what you can do to better yourself.

[@r.a.z96]

I hope everything goes well with you ❤❤

[@faresaaulia2792]

thank you avrey

[@Sydneyeden17]

Same here. I feel this so strongly ❤

[@soniczforever5470]

Its ok things go up and down ❤ i have anorexia and bed. I gained weight as muscle yay but cholesterol went really high as i hated my body. Couldnt stop binging. I eventually learned to do other things before my definition was ruined. Im now eating healthier now while still working on bulking up a bit.

[@allthingshealthy2314]

It’s so hard and I feel you because as women were expected to do everything and do it all well and in a timely manner. All while having hormone fluctuations and not having the same energy and mood throughout the month. America does not understand this at all

[@kayleeanderson6927]

You’ll always be my comfort KZbinr I love you

[@edwine2156]

I genuinely care about this girl so much Avery I’m glad your feeling better and I wish you nothing but the absolute best 🤍 ya

[@owlgirl6648]

Thank you for making this video. You are brave! Also, what camera do you use? It’s really nice

[@RachelIlous89]

Struggling with my body and with food my whole life. I’m 33 and still trying to find a peaceful balance