Timesuck | The Kirtland Cult Killings and Jeffrey Lundgren: 1 of 2

[@leeadams4934]

Literally just came back from the dispensary. This is about to be a wild session and my girlfriend's FIRST Timesuck episode. She's highly into true crime and comedy (like me) do this is perfect for us. Let's Go 💨

[@rydz656]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[@leeadams4934]

@@rydz656 no you're not

[@bryangreb399]

Wow what a first episode, get the full experience, even a fish type moments. Yikes lol

[@jennnorman9382]

Oh boy.. what a first episode lol!

[@BadMagicProductions]

Welcome!

[@hinglemcgringleberry]

Albert Fish time suck episode was the first episode that i listened to, and i was nearly vomiting. This is the first episode since that time that I was on the verge of puking again, thanks Dan!

[@feversandmirrors]

You know it's going to be a suckin' good day when a cult Suck drops 🙌

[@TheAndyp1234]

Man Dan, I've been here for a long time. This topic is a real Gold Star set of Episodes haha.

[@LaBordeAtWork]

Dan and BM crew, I was at the NOLA show (1st balcony, 2nd row) and I gotta tell ya my sides (and leg) have never been more pleasantly sore. My sister had to cancel last minute so I was able to move around the seats and get a couple from higher up that wanted to join me on the lower row. Wonderful people! Awesome decision! However, the gentleman would make sure my left leg knew it was indeed a "punch" line. Obviously didnt care as it finally felt like a comedy show again. Huge shoutout to Josh and Whitney from Pensacola for making my night unforgettable being able to laugh along with them. 3/5 stars. Wouldnt change a thing.

[@Safety1stKatey]

I rarely listen to the Johnny Dare Morning Show but one day, a few years ago, I just had it on and he had mentioned Timesuck. I looked Timesuck up and was obsessed. Then you guys launched Scared to Death and I became addicted. I don't care for Johnny Dare Morning Show but I thank them for introducing me to Timesuck.

[@Jackallen88]

Disappointed the Stryper drop was so late. I knew it was coming, just thought it would be sooner.

[@capedoctor]

7th is still top 10, so looking forward to this Monday edition, thanks Dan

[@leslieserna6934]

I loved how you broke things down with precision on this sick and twisted lives cult. I live in Utah in a small rural town called Brigham City. Yep you’re thinking correctly. I’m not a Mormon nor have I ever been and strongly believe that Mormonism is a cult. Living in this community my relatives and myself were ostracized and looked down upon. I’ve learned a lot from a group of X-Mormons turned “Christian” named “Saints Alive” however I’ve learned so much from watching this podcast of yours. I thank you and have become a subscriber of yours. You’ve done an incredible job of explaining this unbelievably wretched situation.

[@zanderwhite7364]

Definitely keen for the next episode, much love from the sunny coast Australia 🙏

[@BadMagicProductions]

Thank you!

[@tchenzhen8187]

Hail Nimrod!

[@dakotathehunter5487]

Best unintentional joke ever, Fuck that shit!! 3/5 stars

[@mikegish3897]

Just wrapping this suck up and holy shit! This is one of my favorites!!! Also this guy somehow reminds me of Bender from Futurama as he starts his cult. It’s sooo insane!

[@BadMagicProductions]

Glad you liked it, thank you!!

[@chrisstump9722]

I think I heard Dan say the church on Sunday at 10 o'clock guy is the one true prophet

[@AlannaArgudo]

This is so interesting since I grew up mainstream LDS in California and have family friends in Nebraska that are Community of Christ/RLDS. The sect is much more progressive than I grew up in since they're allowed coffee, and women are allowed priesthood. I'm not a part of the LDS church now, and I'm glad I'm not. I think Dan would find Cults to Consciousness very interesting! The ex-Mormon host interviews many people from extremist religions, cults, and organizations. Love your content! It got me through a bad breakup. Sending you and Lynze love all the way from Australia!

[@MasterHoJay]

Let's Goooo!

[@sarahg4335]

I’m dying! The finger blasting and 6 pairs of panties made me cry laugh. 🤣

[@Funky_Gizzmo]

I really love your little poop dance 😂😂😂😂 better than the song 😂😂😂

[@sstrick500]

I've lived in Independence, MO my entire life. This happened when I was around 12 years old. I didn't pay much attention to it back then. Independence was a really nice city back then. Its an old working-class city now.

[@cdorst2286]

can't wait for part 2! Hail Nimrod

[@squishiehunter693]

Fascinating. You have the best channel.

[@ScullyPop]

This is one incredible presentation.

[@catapfract]

That was awesome to listen to....subscriber for sure

[@vickibartle4023]

Grew up just outside of Kirtland and snuck into the barn after all of it was over, still smelled of death and was creepy as hell. Hail Nimrod!!!

[@BadMagicProductions]

Hail Nimrod!

[@stevesullivan3503]

"Some of you have gotten angry about my kink shaming in past episodes, but you know what? F**k that sh*t." Such an underrated pun 🤣🤣🤮

[@kennethmullen-qe9hg]

How hypocritical of Jeffrey was it, to try to file a complaint with the police about someone suspiciously hanging out and watching him from outside his window? LmMFaO!

[@hammerheadtaco]

Dan had wayyy too much fun singing “do ya wanna get poopt on?”

[@ScienceHelpUs]

Dan, just a heads up. In the unlikely event that chiasmus comes up again in a future episode. You should know that, besides one, the examples you gave are more of an antimotabole. The main difference between the two is the repetition of words. Chiasmus don't repeat words while antimotaboles do. Chiasmus: "Love without end, and without measure Grace." Antimotabole: "One for all, and all for one"

[@peterneufeld8957]

I was about to eat a nature's valley bar when he said "I hope your not eating right now, especially something brown" 🫢🫣

[@jennnorman9382]

This actually made me laugh out loud!! 😂

[@thomasannahail4536]

I wonder what the Customer Service line is like for whatever department handles Cancellation of Eternal Marriages.

[@DeconvertedMan]

I ... don't think this is going to have a happy ending...

[@Gimp_82]

Thanks Dan for this, I legit live a mile from this church and the powerlines are one road over Hail Nimrod

[@JayJonesy11]

Can you do one on Christopher Dorner, please?

[@maxwellkleine4056]

I believe that’s how it was spelled. It’s a rap song but it got me to investigate more into a case that should have gotten a lot more publicity to be honest.

[@raquelroberts]

Maybe it's because I have ADHD, I don't know, but I completely understood what was said. God has always told us to pray to receive an answer as to what to do, instead of just blindly following.

[@jdepaul87]

As a Jeffrey.... you forgot Dahmer. And yes there are many reasons to hate my name.

[@Maggiemae01]

This guy sounds pretty top shelf. Reminds me a lot of a POS I married.

[@stevensonjc21]

Classic Jeffery! That’s JEFFERY being JEFFERY right there! Lmao

[@jaymzOG]

Episodes like these really make me consider the possibility that Jesus, Moses, and Abraham cooked up their religion just like Mormonism and Scientology and were all in it together in the beginning, things got out of hand and Jesus ended up scapegoated. Quite possibly the greatest conmen in history. That's my tinfoil hat theory.

[@msanderson28841]

Dan should do one on the yellow deli cult.

[@johnnybobtrucker4416]

Somebody please do a jeffrey lundgren poop atrocity compilation from this podcast. Both parts please.

[@CheshireSB]

Lord poopy lover is the victim here... The power of peanut butter compelled him!

[@BadMagicProductions]

😂

[@mikolasambir4466]

New cult timesuck yay!

[@slap410]

I have no issue with women working. Some would argue that's my generation, but I am a strong believer in mitigating wiggle room for manipulation. Men that complain about women have more individuality is sad.

[@jaymiller5669]

My ex just sent me this- I love Dan Cummins stand up so let's see

[@vdub2014]

my brother told me that this fella is on some albert fish vibes.

[@monus782]

For this story it just keeps getting worse and worse, even the brown stuff was far more disgusting than I initially expected. 1:44:10 I just turned 29 and have never been on a date, as I mentioned in the incel episode it’s for a variety of reason but one of them is because I spent my early 20’s on a possible cult myself (a fundamentalist Catholic type of community) which seriously messed up my sexuality and after leaving at 24 I had serious mental health problems I’m now working in therapy, that’s the defense for myself at least.

[@Undying3001]

Stryper is really a fantastic band btw

[@raquelroberts]

The Seventh-Day Adventist Church and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are two very similar religions yet their differences are very different from each other. Some people call the Seventh Adventist Church or SDA Church a cult as well. I grew up STA and now I'm lbs, LOL

[@abrasmith8222]

36:46 as a woman you can't get unsealed without good cause

[@adamcullen1210]

Poophole Loophole tshirt drop incoming!

[@martinoberman4685]

It's very upsetting that Danny didn't call jeffrey shit dick not once😢

[@michellekrajcovic7424]

I know Alice, Debbie, Susan & Sharon. I did 13 years in prison with them. All wonderful women!

[@TylerDurden-hb4vf]

Knockoff Prophet Jeffrey would make great stocking stuffers.

[@adamethridge7824]

Cults is weird

[@abrasmith8222]

35:38 any "good" Mormon will know this

[@hairypolack]

Doesnt this guys voice sound a lot like Quentin Tarantino?

[@stephenroby8498]

In the case of Joseph Smith, the creator of the Latter Day Saints, the verifiable truth is all these and more. Joseph Smith tried to change the Bible to suit his own desires. In order to do so, he created a faith that conflicts with the core tenets of Christianity. He made up an entirely different history, Jesus, gospel, and God. He covered over his own sins with false claims of authority. He made predictions about the future that did not come true. Worst of all, he contradicted the Bible to appeal to people and led them to destruction. Joseph Smith was a wolf that Jesus warned you about in the Scriptures. History shows you how he snuck in and devoured many unsuspecting people. For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. 2 Peter 2. This is exactly what Smith did. His legacy carries on today with millions of nice people stuck in the very same chains Jesus died to free them from. I detail the non-Christian teachings of the Mormon Church. Matthew 16:18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. This Gospel is the only way to the real Way, Truth, and Life, Jesus! Deuteronomy 6:4-5 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Recorded in the Bible almost 3,000 years ago. It remains an important part of Judaism today. It also has been proven to be accurately recorded in the Bible. An intact copy of Deuteronomy, including this prayer, was found with the Dead Sea Scrolls. These were ancient scrolls found buried in a cave in Israel in 1947. This shows that there is One God. This belief is foundational for Judaism and Christianity. They are monotheistic faiths - meaning one god. The Mormon Church says there are at least 4 main gods. There are also many lesser gods. The Bible says the Lord is One. Joseph Smith disagreed and said God is not one. Joseph Smith’s core claim was the Bible was corrupted in some way. This gave him the pretext to alter it to make his new faith. He vaguely claimed this “corruption” occurred sometime after the Apostolic period ended but before his creation of the Book of Mormon in the 1800’s. The Dead Sea Scrolls expose the enormous problem with this claim. They include an intact copy of the Old Testament Bible that was put in the cave in Israel before the end of the Apostolic period. They then remained there undisturbed until after Joseph Smith made his claims. So what does this mean for Smith? It definitively destroys Smith’s justification for changing the Bible. He said it was corrupted. The evidence proved that it was not. Deuteronomy 4:35,39 Unto thee it was shown, that thou mightest know that the LORD he is God; there is none else beside him…..Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD he is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else. There are no other gods beside me. There is none else. God’s unaltered Word states this fact with certainty. Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” Joseph Smith was a demonstrably sinful person. He had many wives and took them behind the back of his first wife. He also married women who were already married. This demonstrates one of the signs of someone being a wolf. They may appear righteous on the surface, but inside they seek to devour others. Also anytime Polygamy is mentioned in the Bible it comes with negative consequences. God doesn't condone sin, and He didn't want robots so He gave man free will. Man chose sin causing all the wrongs we see all around. Jesus said we are to love each other as we would want to be loved. NOTHING to do with sex, and we are not to judge. God is the judge since He is perfection and the basis for any and all morality. God wouldn't contradict Himself telling you to harm anyone ever. God is everywhere, in all of time. The beginning and the end, and thus He doesn't need us for anything other than a loving relationship.

[@stevensonjc21]

Lol you know no one’s reading all this right?

[@CarolineFarrow]

I was eating chocolate 😭iykyk

[@BadMagicProductions]

Oh no!!

[@maxpace2870]

CULT CULT CULT

[@Sharkdog11b]

So everyone is clear. The Mormon church (lds) does NOT CLAIM ANY OF THE SPLINTER GROUPS. Period.

[@CyberiaCafe]

You truly inspire me because if you can become a successful comedian that means anyone can regardless of good jokes

[@CyberiaCafe]

That being said luv the podcast well researched as always

[@proudmilitarybrat76]

What a back handed compliment. Ouch. Do better. Be better.

[@kennethmullen-qe9hg]

And as for one possibility of how 2 large circles and 3 little ones, could maybe be taken as May 3rd, it would be as follows: The 3 small circles's obviously where he got the 3rd from, but also (nowhere near as obvious) showing the month will then have 3 letters in its name...which, I know what you're thinkin', "Then WHY'RE other circles or symbols needed?" Well...we all also have to remember, just WHO we are TALKIN' ABOUT here... And...I'll just have to assume whatever 'calendar' these folk were 'using' abbreviated the months...SO ALL of the months had consisted of only 3 letters: not too much help, there. So we now come, to the two bigger circles, that, depending on HOW close together they'd been, could BE SEEN as breastsasiz that, especially, after a good ol' fashioned Cle. Steamering all over the bottom halves of each, the top two and the cleanest of the four total halves, MAY start to look a BIT like an "M," ESPECIALLY, if starin' at it SO LONG the tops halves of ALL ta-tas start lookin' like M's to you (you know, like say "Mmm..."), not, unlike, the Golden Arches ("Ba-da-nunt-na-NA, I'm lovin' it"; and, not to be confused, with the main player, in a game of "water sports," OR the arc of the covenant [though both of them may melt your face off and be impossible to forget once you've set your EYES upon them...]) and so we see how the month starting in an 'M' was derived; then, finally, the large circles, also tell us that it's the second of the two M-months! Elementary my DEAR WATSON--hence, how one can easily see how Jeff "Poopy-Boy" Lundgren'd derived a date of 'May the 3rd,' from those 3 little and 2 large circles... tyvm... LmMFaO!!!!!!

[@nabrog2674]

Weeeeeeeeeee!

[@DeconvertedMan]

No, god isn't a thing, so it doesn't talk to anyone. :D

[@DeconvertedMan]

I agree that we need seperation (at times) for bilogical men and biological women.

[@christofl6523]

25 minutes in and you haven't even said anything of substance about this case. Just get to the damn point!

[@lindaarrington9397]

Look man I know this story well ok But noooo you stopped at the worse place. And please stop using God's name in vain. Young man you might think it's funny but it's not and I'm gonna unsub if you keep it up

[@rkgomes3875]

Hail Lucifina!!

[@BadMagicProductions]

HAIL!