CBT Unhelpful Thinking Styles (STOP Self-Sabotage NOW)

[@suba_rally9936]

wow, i'm so glad I stumbled on your channel. it's a goldmine of helpful techniques and info!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi subie_grl: I'm so glad you did as well! And thanks for the feedback - it is motivating for me :)

[@mikelord2698]

Pretty much what I was going to comment. Great channel Barbara

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@mikelord2698 Thank you! :)

[@d16082]

Big Hello from Australia. Thanks for these insigful videos. I love personally studying all aspects of spycoanalysis.

[@Cjvvufivi]

Do you do this over facetime appointments, I'm struggling really bad with this

[@GayorgVonTrapp]

Barbara. I was quite surprised to find a channel so freely offering such direct and helpful definitions of cognitive issues followed by really useful advice and actions to take to address feelings and behaviour. I am so grateful for your willingness and endeavour to help. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[@aziaa.8663]

indeed i really appreciate her generosity she really saved me by these infos

[@WilliamMagnor]

"Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping" - Jordan Peterson, Rule #2 in "12 rules for life"

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Love that phrase!

[@anoopasubahan1706]

@@BarbaraHeffernan correct

[@srolesen]

And think twice before you let yourself get mangled by the CBT hamburger machine, are you an actual hamburger and are your state of mind simply a thing to fix and replace, or is there something else going on.

[@pokemongurlz]

@@srolesen tf does this even mean

[@srolesen]

@@pokemongurlz Means CBT is designed to be convincing at the cost of accuracy, and there is a hamburger like quality to it, the therapist will frequently just close their eyes and chuck all the problems into the machine, more invested in churning out product and measuring success as "% of problems solved" with 0 understanding that some problems are simply not suitable for that hamburger machine and require a deeper level of understanding. I think CBT is fundamentally a good approach to many issues and that hamburgers are fine on occasion, but I also think that there is a pervasive lack of willingness in both industries for the machine operator to stop and think twice before mashing something through that meatgrinder that does not belong there.

[@vasantipunchoo3699]

You are soothing .reassuring .constructive.its full of love that reaches out to all of us needing such support.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you! :)

[@MmmmOk100]

You are right on track with this one too. I have always been a great friend to others but honestly, have never been kind to myself. Thank you for all that you do.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome. Yes, be your own best friend!!!

[@buzzingnoise]

In my room I have my own art everywhere and I love it because it reminds me of how creative and colourful I can be!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!

[@alizo3]

I almost cried watching this, I've been doing many of these categories especially labeling for way too long that its like a fact of life with me. Thank you so much for this video ill begin improving and removing these toxic thoughts

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Your comment is very touching. I am so pleased this has been so helpful for you.

[@tnnutcase7259]

Thank you for this, I'm 60 years old and never knew/put together all the negative talk I have been doing to myself. Your channel is awesome and I can't get enough. I just started seeing a counselor yesterday for CBT therapy.. I will use your channel to boost this even more.

[@24CarrotCake]

I have a friend who was struggling to remember all the distortions so I gave her names that made it easier to remember and identify. Chicken Little (catastrophizing), Kardashian(comparing ourselves to others), Betting on the Ponies(Predicting the future), Moving Mountains(Changing things out of your control), Cement shoes(intractable), Trigger Happy(generalizing), Been there, Done that(Worrying about past), Grinding Gears(perseverating), Bad Trippin'(Fanaticizing the worst).

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Love this!

[@24CarrotCake]

@@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you for your wonderful work!

[@edmo1982]

Omg, I've check all the boxes😂 1to6 no wonder my mind was so f***d up

[@nryane]

Thank you. Great reminders! My trauma therapist used EMDR and CBT therapies. What you outline is the kind of thing she would have me practice for “homework”, between sessions. The awareness of these various patterns of thought makes our self-talk less critical. That way, we can be the person who says to ourselves: “Would I say that to a loved one?” It’s taken a lot of practice to come to a place of self-kindness. So nice to hear gentle, kind words in my self-talk, instead of the harsh ones I used to say to me. Blessings!🤓

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Wow ! Thank you for sharing that. I hope it gives other people hope and the motivation to do the work! It is so wonderful that you have been able to shift your self-talk... Isn't life nicer when we are nice to ourselves?! :)

[@nryane]

Barbara Heffernan Indeed! Being able to change neural pathways and practice new habits are a blessing!

[@vijaysridhar9777]

I used to see things negatively beleiving that if it becomes positive then the reason is that i felt negative, never thought it will take a tollover my happiness . Ma'am, your idea is worth a thesis! Provided me relief and i feel i can deal with thoughts more efficiently. Please do provide more such content, Thanks a ton! May God bless you!

[@xchimino2]

It is a lovely painting. I thought it was a photo! Thank you for sharing all this information. :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks!

[@pgreen6840]

I enjoy always talking to myself constructively as I am in good company :)

[@laurenellis3147]

Barbara, I love your warm and expressive style. I'm an Occupational therapist learning about CBT. You explain CBT really clearly. Thank you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know! So pleased! Good luck in your work!

[@andreapalumbo6070]

I think being a friend of myself is a very powerful concept, as well as the "self-sabotage" one that is more tricky because the sabotage looks like a solution instead of the cause of the problem. I worked on it - without a strong consistency but with results - for about four years. Yet, the path is long, the tunnel is brighter but not ended. Thank you very much doctor Heffernan for putting these concepts in such a clear way, so that they are immediately applicable for all of us! I'm already using the cbt log and reviewing all my homework on inner dialogue in light of the six styles you explained so well.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So awesome that you are utilizing the log! Practice is key and increasing our awareness of patterns is the first step.

[@gwm_john]

I am glad to that i found this video, i just broke up with someone i thought was the one, my soulmate , my forever tru love only to realise i was just putting that person on a pedestal and not realising i was forgetting myself. Going through this break up i now realised i was going through the Cognitive Distortions that you mentioned and feeling miserable. Now i know i have the tools and knowledge to change all of these behaviours. Thank You So So much and i love your CBT videos! Thank you !

[@birdhousejr17]

Great overall! I liked the concept of "being a friend to yourself." I believe it's important to view yourself in this manner so that you may reflect on your world and situations in a more helpful and constructive way. 👍🏻

[@RosePetal17]

Be your own best friend🙏💖

[@kristine6996]

It is a trauma on a deep level, starting in early childhood. One day it Will pass on the mean time I am counting my blessings in the midst of a pandemic 🕯.

[@fuhermann1411]

I am almost in tears! i found so much relief knowing there is something i can do and having an explanation on why i am feeling this way and to change it. Thank you for sharing this freely, you have no idea how much it means to someone who is suffering. God bless you!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I am so, so pleased you found this so helpful. Thank you for letting me know. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara

[@franziskaklose11]

Hearing this valid emotional response to the breakup, like saying „I am feeling sad“ instead of thinking about the future and how it will always end up like this hit a nerve. I was never able to just express how I feel so I got anxious it might happen again which causes all the catastrophic scenarios in my head.

[@aosorachan]

The concept of ''Being a friend to yourself'' is a very important and essential starting point to attempt to think in a more accurate and less distorted way, to begin to make small progress as much as possible and to stop the negative thinking and categorizations. Thank you so much for all the videos and the PDF. It's greate help. Sincerely appreciated.🙏😊

[@JacobsRegeneration]

Being a friend 2 your self.. can you elaborate some.. I feel this will help many. Thanks in advance!

[@HKashaf]

So clear and so concise, months of therapy and never understood these concepts so clearly.

[@catcaa9027]

I’ve been looking for something like this for over 10 years, thank you so much For sharing, after listening to a couple videos, somethings I can put into perspective now, I hope this helps other people, I will continue to post updates and improvements in my own life in the hope that It may help someone else in their journey to find peace and solutions with depression and anxiety which was unknown to me and was never properly diagnosed until much later in my life.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Cherry: Thanks so much for letting me know how meaningful the videos are for you. I hope they truly help you on your journey!

[@plamont2004]

That is the best advice anyone has ever given me "What would you say to a friend?". Thank you Barbara

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

❤

[@Love_Incorporated]

i am currently going through a seperation after 2 kids and 7 years. I am struggling mentally with panic and seperation anxiety. your video helped me thank you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it was helpful, and sorry to hear about the difficult time you are having. Hang in there!

[@lesleygarvs4640]

I am suffering the consequences of ptsd... In this time, from time to time... A totally heavy emotion comes out of nowhere(apparently, now we know it comes from past trauma and abuse)... And it s so intense as if it doesn t let me breath for the next minute... Before would be worse... Now getting better, simply by realizing it is a huge step... Soo intense and chronic... Wow, thank you, Barbara!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

❤️‍🩹

[@pedanpontif]

Thanks for posting. My mental illness has caused me to miss the last three days of work.

[@SparkyWaxAll]

thank you. I'm 60 and now just learning this valuable life saving information. I appreciate you.,

[@jones10121970]

Thank you for your videos. I feel comfort when I watch them.

[@gh-ps5es]

I've learned all of this through experience in therapy but it might be because I'm a science person, I find that I can work more practically when I have structure. But I can't just take out a pen and write everything down in a book while my therapist is speaking, and having it being broken down for me like this makes me think it's not an impossible mountain to climb. Thank you so much for your service, I look forward to exercising what you've taught here with my therapist's support and hopefully moving on from this stangnancy crisis I've been facing throughout the 5 years of my 20s.

[@jessicacalderon9427]

So happy I found you, I struggled with OCD and learning how the mind tends to transform situations had been the best thing that happened to me. Thanks 😊 for your educational videos 🙏

[@brittae90]

Seriously, I can't explain how helpful your videos have been to me. I found your channel yesterday and I have been obsessing. I love your vibes, meditation, medication beliefs, and your calming voice. It would be so amazing to have you as a therapist

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Brittani Lee: Thanks so much! I'm so pleased it is all resonating with you! Join me for the Free webinar (link in notes below video) which is coming up soon.

[@brittae90]

@@BarbaraHeffernan oh yes. I already signed up for the soonest one. ♥️ Thank you for all you do

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@brittae90 Awesome! I look forward to "meeting" you there!

[@joyceychang]

Extremely helpful! I learned about CBT and this video really explains the underlying reason why we list our automatic thoughts and only after can we identify the cognitive distortion behind it.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Joyce: Thanks for pointing out that key point! I'm pleased the video was helpful for you.

[@j.juanpaiz4391]

So much wisdom explained in a simple manner, so that the brain accept it without interference....! That´s the way how you deliver an important human truth. Excellent!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

😀😀🙏

[@uswabatool5602]

This video changed my life :) its only been about 2 weeks since i am practicing classifying my thoughts and i already feel so productive ! So much time that i used to spend thinking is saved . Thank you 🙏🏻please keep doing what you do. I am sure itll help many more people 💕

[@mollygoheavier1709]

Thank you soooo much xxx agoraphobia server anxiety and depression here for 18 years with no help xxx

[@frankuriegas1888]

I cried watching this video because it’s my first time in a long time trying to seek help for my anxiety and a lot these negative thoughts are how I think, this was really helpful and im going to start developing a better thinking pattern, thank you.

[@rochelleromero270]

Please keep posting videos! I’ve been searching for the practical help you provide.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I will! Thanks for the encouragement. And I'm so happy they are helpful for you.

[@reazmahmud5505]

This Lady Is A Savior !!😌

[@tinamitchell8223]

Beck's Barriers labelling, emotional reasoning and catastrophizing really applies to people I currently know who are no longer in relationships and doing exactly what you describe. Thank you for making me think their thought processes through that CBT theory. They do not think of the fallacy of fairness about themselves but there is black and white thinking...

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So glad this was helpful!

[@franklinstephen3268]

Hello Tina how’re you doing?

[@sugarsnap1000]

Great context, soothing words for the soul. There’s on line narratives of blaming and damning others nowadays. Your videos are great. TY

[@Linusrox123]

I have {sadly), had to watch perhaps 100 KZbin shrinks before coming here. Without having gone through a lot of your videos, I have to say that I just love your way of explaining these things as if you are a good friend or mother talking to her bestie or kid. I really appreciate it. There is an Aussie woman on Psych Central who also talks with her hands and has this gift of conveying their knowledge as if there were, you know, a human.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know! I hope my videos are truly helpful for you!

[@annali6848]

I really enjoy your video. I learn a lot from them. I also like your calming voice. Keep it going~

[@karimaais820]

Thank you very much for this instructive video I made really tired from automatic negative thoughts and catastrophic cbt inherited from my narcissistic crazy toxic sadistic father who enjoyed catastrophasing and blaming us for nothing and stupid things and saying that we Nell cause his death he really damaged our brain pattern of thinking and conceiving the world. Nd I feel really tired of trying to fix it but I still trying because I want to get better and get the wonderful life I deserve. All those who struggled with childhood trauma and did make it should be considered heroes because the damages are really deep and take lots of work and discipline and time to deal with them so I totally understand when you say it’s not easy but it worth it. No child in the world deserves to go through the craziness mess up fathers. It’s a real crime against humanity. I wish everyone lots of happiness and success

[@kelmohror6960]

For five decades, Barbara, I have built a foundation of negative core beliefs and self-talk. They are comfortable old shoes I am fearful of changing. I am mired in work I can't physically do much longer. I am manic-depressive with obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a stultifying degree of apathy. Do I _want_ better mental? That's the billion dollar question.

[@jeandresley275]

I love the idea of being a friend to your self.

[@brittneyholiday7795]

I love your Mom's painting! Very nicely done and it's beautiful. :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much!

[@v3Lovely]

Your vidoes save my life. I would give anything to sit down and talk with you. You're so awesome. Thank you.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Wow, thank you. So pleased the videos have helped so much!

[@menposed]

This woman is a God send!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks!

[@cheriehugler3302]

I was just admiring the picture on the wall and then u stopped to mention it and that yr Mum painted it and I was like Oh my gosh can she read my mind!!!! Lol Its a very lovely painting! And your presentation is awesome, feeling as tho I finally understand what is going on with me so thank you very much 🙏

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!

[@anntrope491]

Great info… I believe this will be very helpful for a lot of people… including myself,& my adopted son… thank you !!💕🌻🦋🌸💕

[@judyoceanhikes679]

I'm hooked. I'm so grateful I ran into your video's. I am a 73 y.o. active woman and my live in partner of 9+ years left about 6 mo ago. Altho I use to be a county Social Worker, now a retired R.E. Broker, I was spiraling down with my attempt at self-help. In just a few days this has really helped. I'll let you know how I am in about a month. I plan to stick with this.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased to hear this helped! Do let us know!

[@Snowystardust12]

I really appreciates being reminded to be a good friend to myself. I would love to hear you speak about the various cognitive distortions more often. They are eye opening and like purification for the mind.

[@dorotkak2002]

I've just discovered your channel. I love it both as a therapist and a client! Thank you

[@roseshaw6344]

Thank you very much Barbara

[@hew195050]

Byron Katie work is one of the ways to do CBT work on yourself. VERY helpful!

[@AnneFlint-m4i]

BEAUTIFULLY explained…a real treasure 🙏☀️ of a video!!! 🙋🏻‍♀️💫⭐️💫

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you kindly!

[@kamaliwickramage2418]

This is an amazing explanation. So profound but so simply explained! Thank you!

[@beetlejuice3171]

Like your vibe, approach and tone! Your Mom is a great painter.

[@miraeraya]

Your mom's painting has a calming effect. She has a hand like your mind. You are both great and good souls.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you! That is so sweet of you to say. I did inherit my desire to help others from my mom :)

[@nilzabento1143]

I can say for sure that changing behaviour is very difficult. I am very glad that I found your videos here, I am waiting to be seen by a psychologist and there is a big waiting list. Thank you very much for uploading these videos!

[@francesbeth2077]

I was not aware of CBT. It was so helpful for me because I can relate to some of the unhelpful behaviors. Thank-you again for sharing.

[@bozenawojno344]

I am so grateful for your wonderful job. I was so tired with my emotional pain and I was looking for help... and I find You. Everything you say makes sense to me and I can see that I have to learn to treat myself better and no more sabotaging myself. I am 74 years old and I want to be young mentally again. I’m involved in qigong and now I have you 💞so I am in good hands and I can see my future much brighter and healthier 🙏be blessed forever and always 🌹

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So happy you are here. How wonderful you are accessing these powerful tools - qigong is great! Welcome! 🌹

[@kingnola..952]

Thank you I love this video 👍💗

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know!! I hope it helps!

[@carolwilson9341]

I am really enjoying your series as I feel like it was written for me! Very helpful. And the painting is lovely.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm so glad!

[@Trisha_B_done]

Wow....did not realize I'd gotten to the "Why bother" stage. Life circumstances and the thought patterns you mentioned hit me on point. I am a caregiver by nature (& was one by profession) and have wondered lately WHY I don't seem to treat nor care for myself as much as I do others. This video helps bring the patterns to light, and gives me tools to work with. Thank you. Much needed in these days of forced isolation due to the Covid. Will fed to others. Off to view more of your videos.💕

[@janetstraw191]

Your mom must be an admirer of Claude Monet! 👍🤗👏

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes! :)

[@oriettabornacelli5426]

Your are an excellent resource for other therapists thank youuuu❤

[@brendaparker3658]

So happy I found you dear Barbara. Love it and love the water lillies.....so wonderfully gifted and helpful you are. Learning so much. Love and light, Brenda

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you Brenda! :)

[@neila.rochelle565]

3:57 thank you Barbara. I’ve worked for years with CBT but get stuck and revert back to negative self talk. Excellent reminder for me. Also a reminder of how hard it is to change these thoughts

[@isla4953]

2 things: thank you for sharing this important information and your Mum is an amazing artist 😻

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

😀♥️

[@julianyk29]

Hi¡¡ I´m from Mexico, excuse my poor English please. Just to say thank you. Your videos are awesome and helps me a lot in order to improve as a human being and as a therapist

[@Onlinesully]

Are you a practicing therapist ? What country? Hope it is going well for you. Take care.

[@lorrainemisra3183]

I keep self sabotaging my own happiness need help so much...things will be going so happy and my thought keep telling me something bad is going to happen

[@hemday9346]

I love you for changing my thoughts and behaviors. Thanks!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!! Thanks for letting me know how helpful this has been

[@eunicemboya9016]

Wonderful presentation ❤

[@gardenialeeman4932]

Very interesting! Thank you so much! And the paint is beautiful! What I have in my office and I love is a picture of may Great grand parents. Just love it!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome and thank you for letting me know!

[@aprilterrellcreates]

❤❤❤thanks- and I am sure this is a rewatch with a pen and pad😀

[@ElephantPatronus]

I thought the painting behind you was a photograph. Such detail! Kudos to your mom. It's lovely.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much!

[@anbujothivinodkumar3564]

Hello mam. I am from India. Your words are soothing.. Very helpful... Love u so much.... Waiting to watch more. Thank u

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it is resonating with you!

[@leofunks31]

Barbara I just want to say that you are an absolute legend!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

LOL! Never thought I'd be a legend :). So glad the videos are helpful for you!

[@mdabdullahilkafi8116]

You are amazing. I loved the concept of being friend with myself. Best wishes for you.

[@DogloverYt409]

I have multiple art pieces that my significant other made for me. I love them and they are up in my room.

[@noodletribunal9793]

putting all those similar ones under mental filter is actually really helpful for me!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

That is awesome!

[@sitaoliveira1924]

Looking forward to exercise into behavior and believe system change. Thank you!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You're so welcome!

[@Peebee01]

Beautiful painting ! Your mum is very talented ❤️

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much 😀

[@TheSereiaM]

I wish i could find a therapist like you.. .. amazing video 👍

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Well, thank you! Please join me for my free webinar if you have an interest: roadmaptojoy.life/rewiring-your-brain/

[@TheSereiaM]

@@BarbaraHeffernan yes , I will. I am working towards my Clinical license. Absolutely love the way you explain the CBT techniques . Thank you for sharing.

[@jasminedsilva9087]

Thank you thank you thank you!! You’re helping me help myself ❤️ Priceless gift.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are so welcome

[@mahmoudsalahat259]

Thanks alot about this feedback my specificly, cognitive thoughts distortion

[@KateMurray]

Super interesting that we can label and reframe our thoughts! I'm going to start paying more attention! :)

[@ahomeinpisgahontheroad4481]

Speaking as a friend is a good idea.

[@marymullins4130]

Hi. Thank you so much for very useful videos. I have a franed embroidery picture of snowdrops made by my 82 year old Mum hanging in my office space!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Sounds beautiful!!

[@AriadneNaudia]

I just subscribed, hoping that these videos can help me. That picture is a painting?! I thought it was a photo! Your mom has some incredible skill!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks!! My mom is talented :). So glad the videos are helpful for you!

[@IrfanAli-gg3od]

We have lovely qutations to help addicts and for other ppl..

[@ariellelucena5127]

Beautiful painting from your mum ❤

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much 😀 I agree!

[@ankitk_here]

Ofcourse ma'am u r in right track, u always did awesome things in your previous jobs as well..

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

thanks... wishing you the best!

[@idagreen3495]

I am Soo happy I found you and listened to this particular video. My ex broke up with me after 3 months of dating or getting to know one another. I've gone through CBT a few years ago and I still draw on it. It was the best decision I ever made. Especially the part where she had me to list all of my tragedies and then find the good in all of them. From rape to the my dad having a massive heart attack in my arms. I was about to send another video from you to my ex because I suggested this therapy to him as well. I found out his wife had died 2 years ago on the date he was supposed to come meet me face to face. So I asked was that the reason, and he said yes, he just wasn't ready. This video confirmed that I didn't do the self destructive behavior. I think it was getting to the point where really deep things or thoughts he has pushed down were emerging. It was scaring me some. I had suggested he have this type of therapy. So now I'm sending him a link. It's been 5 months but I still care. I don't wish to go back, but I just thought this would help. Thank you so much. I plan to listen to other videos because I could still use it.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Welcome to the channel, and I'm so pleased this was helpful. I wish you health and healing :)

[@hhmedia103]

Thank yo so much mam.....finally i found your channel to change my life

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Welcome to the channel and I wish you health and healing!

[@tstephensen8614]

I struggle with these distorted thoughts. I am going to work on being a better friend to myself and so I am going to work on building the habit of listening to one of your videos each day. Thank you for taking the time to share your expertise!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So wonderful to hear that you’re aiming to be a better friend to yourself. I love it!!

[@MohammadAshraf-px8fs]

I suffer from dpdr, and i get negative thoughts a lot, I hope your channel helps