CBT Unhelpful Thinking Styles (STOP Self-Sabotage NOW)

CBT Unhelpful Thinking Styles (STOP Self-Sabotage NOW)
Identify which unhelpful thinking styles are contributing to your self-sabotage. These automatic thoughts, or cognitive distortions, can create considerable pain. CBT therapy or CBT counselling helps to identify unhelpful thinking habits and uses CBT exercises and cognitive restructuring to help you change unhelpful thinking styles. Unhelpful thinking styles include labeling, emotional reasoning, catastrophizing, personalizing, mind reading and mental filter. This video will help you to challenge negative self-talk, self-sabotaging thoughts and identify unhelpful thinking patterns. This, in turn, will help you stop self-sabotaging behavior!
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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via KZbin, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

[@suba_rally9936]

wow, i'm so glad I stumbled on your channel. it's a goldmine of helpful techniques and info!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi subie_grl: I'm so glad you did as well! And thanks for the feedback - it is motivating for me :)

[@mikelord2698]

Pretty much what I was going to comment. Great channel Barbara

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@mikelord2698 Thank you! :)

[@d16082]

Big Hello from Australia. Thanks for these insigful videos. I love personally studying all aspects of spycoanalysis.

[@lilj1905]

Do you do this over facetime appointments, I'm struggling really bad with this

[@WilliamMagnor]

"Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping" - Jordan Peterson, Rule #2 in "12 rules for life"

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Love that phrase!

[@anoopasubahan1706]

@@BarbaraHeffernan correct

[@srolesen]

And think twice before you let yourself get mangled by the CBT hamburger machine, are you an actual hamburger and are your state of mind simply a thing to fix and replace, or is there something else going on.

[@pokemongurlz]

@@srolesen tf does this even mean

[@srolesen]

@@pokemongurlz Means CBT is designed to be convincing at the cost of accuracy, and there is a hamburger like quality to it, the therapist will frequently just close their eyes and chuck all the problems into the machine, more invested in churning out product and measuring success as "% of problems solved" with 0 understanding that some problems are simply not suitable for that hamburger machine and require a deeper level of understanding. I think CBT is fundamentally a good approach to many issues and that hamburgers are fine on occasion, but I also think that there is a pervasive lack of willingness in both industries for the machine operator to stop and think twice before mashing something through that meatgrinder that does not belong there.

[@GayorgVonTrapp]

Barbara. I was quite surprised to find a channel so freely offering such direct and helpful definitions of cognitive issues followed by really useful advice and actions to take to address feelings and behaviour. I am so grateful for your willingness and endeavour to help. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[@aziaa.8663]

indeed i really appreciate her generosity she really saved me by these infos

[@vasantipunchoo3699]

You are soothing .reassuring .constructive.its full of love that reaches out to all of us needing such support.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you! :)

[@MmmmOk100]

You are right on track with this one too. I have always been a great friend to others but honestly, have never been kind to myself. Thank you for all that you do.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome. Yes, be your own best friend!!!

[@alizo3]

I almost cried watching this, I've been doing many of these categories especially labeling for way too long that its like a fact of life with me. Thank you so much for this video ill begin improving and removing these toxic thoughts

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Your comment is very touching. I am so pleased this has been so helpful for you.

[@xchimino2]

It is a lovely painting. I thought it was a photo! Thank you for sharing all this information. :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks!

[@buzzingnoise]

In my room I have my own art everywhere and I love it because it reminds me of how creative and colourful I can be!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!

[@vijaysridhar9777]

I used to see things negatively beleiving that if it becomes positive then the reason is that i felt negative, never thought it will take a tollover my happiness . Ma'am, your idea is worth a thesis! Provided me relief and i feel i can deal with thoughts more efficiently. Please do provide more such content, Thanks a ton! May God bless you!

[@nryane]

Thank you. Great reminders! My trauma therapist used EMDR and CBT therapies. What you outline is the kind of thing she would have me practice for “homework”, between sessions. The awareness of these various patterns of thought makes our self-talk less critical. That way, we can be the person who says to ourselves: “Would I say that to a loved one?” It’s taken a lot of practice to come to a place of self-kindness. So nice to hear gentle, kind words in my self-talk, instead of the harsh ones I used to say to me. Blessings!🤓

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Wow ! Thank you for sharing that. I hope it gives other people hope and the motivation to do the work! It is so wonderful that you have been able to shift your self-talk... Isn't life nicer when we are nice to ourselves?! :)

[@nryane]

Barbara Heffernan Indeed! Being able to change neural pathways and practice new habits are a blessing!

[@andreapalumbo6070]

I think being a friend of myself is a very powerful concept, as well as the "self-sabotage" one that is more tricky because the sabotage looks like a solution instead of the cause of the problem. I worked on it - without a strong consistency but with results - for about four years. Yet, the path is long, the tunnel is brighter but not ended. Thank you very much doctor Heffernan for putting these concepts in such a clear way, so that they are immediately applicable for all of us! I'm already using the cbt log and reviewing all my homework on inner dialogue in light of the six styles you explained so well.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So awesome that you are utilizing the log! Practice is key and increasing our awareness of patterns is the first step.

[@tnnutcase7259]

Thank you for this, I'm 60 years old and never knew/put together all the negative talk I have been doing to myself. Your channel is awesome and I can't get enough. I just started seeing a counselor yesterday for CBT therapy.. I will use your channel to boost this even more.

[@kristine6996]

It is a trauma on a deep level, starting in early childhood. One day it Will pass on the mean time I am counting my blessings in the midst of a pandemic 🕯.

[@birdhousejr17]

Great overall! I liked the concept of "being a friend to yourself." I believe it's important to view yourself in this manner so that you may reflect on your world and situations in a more helpful and constructive way. 👍🏻

[@RosePetal17]

Be your own best friend🙏💖

[@laurenellis3147]

Barbara, I love your warm and expressive style. I'm an Occupational therapist learning about CBT. You explain CBT really clearly. Thank you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know! So pleased! Good luck in your work!

[@24CarrotCake]

I have a friend who was struggling to remember all the distortions so I gave her names that made it easier to remember and identify. Chicken Little (catastrophizing), Kardashian(comparing ourselves to others), Betting on the Ponies(Predicting the future), Moving Mountains(Changing things out of your control), Cement shoes(intractable), Trigger Happy(generalizing), Been there, Done that(Worrying about past), Grinding Gears(perseverating), Bad Trippin'(Fanaticizing the worst).

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Love this!

[@24CarrotCake]

@@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you for your wonderful work!

[@pedanpontif]

Thanks for posting. My mental illness has caused me to miss the last three days of work.

[@catcaa9027]

I’ve been looking for something like this for over 10 years, thank you so much For sharing, after listening to a couple videos, somethings I can put into perspective now, I hope this helps other people, I will continue to post updates and improvements in my own life in the hope that It may help someone else in their journey to find peace and solutions with depression and anxiety which was unknown to me and was never properly diagnosed until much later in my life.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Cherry: Thanks so much for letting me know how meaningful the videos are for you. I hope they truly help you on your journey!

[@jessicacalderon9427]

So happy I found you, I struggled with OCD and learning how the mind tends to transform situations had been the best thing that happened to me. Thanks 😊 for your educational videos 🙏

[@uswabatool5602]

This video changed my life :) its only been about 2 weeks since i am practicing classifying my thoughts and i already feel so productive ! So much time that i used to spend thinking is saved . Thank you 🙏🏻please keep doing what you do. I am sure itll help many more people 💕

[@fuhermann1411]

I am almost in tears! i found so much relief knowing there is something i can do and having an explanation on why i am feeling this way and to change it. Thank you for sharing this freely, you have no idea how much it means to someone who is suffering. God bless you!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I am so, so pleased you found this so helpful. Thank you for letting me know. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara

[@joyceychang]

Extremely helpful! I learned about CBT and this video really explains the underlying reason why we list our automatic thoughts and only after can we identify the cognitive distortion behind it.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Joyce: Thanks for pointing out that key point! I'm pleased the video was helpful for you.

[@Love_Incorporated]

i am currently going through a seperation after 2 kids and 7 years. I am struggling mentally with panic and seperation anxiety. your video helped me thank you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it was helpful, and sorry to hear about the difficult time you are having. Hang in there!

[@SparkyWaxAll]

thank you. I'm 60 and now just learning this valuable life saving information. I appreciate you.,

[@janetstraw191]

Your mom must be an admirer of Claude Monet! 👍🤗👏

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes! :)

[@HKashaf]

So clear and so concise, months of therapy and never understood these concepts so clearly.

[@kamaliwickramage2418]

This is an amazing explanation. So profound but so simply explained! Thank you!

[@rochelleromero270]

Please keep posting videos! I’ve been searching for the practical help you provide.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I will! Thanks for the encouragement. And I'm so happy they are helpful for you.

[@gracemaerz8872]

Love the picture, how lovely!

[@aosorachan]

The concept of ''Being a friend to yourself'' is a very important and essential starting point to attempt to think in a more accurate and less distorted way, to begin to make small progress as much as possible and to stop the negative thinking and categorizations. Thank you so much for all the videos and the PDF. It's greate help. Sincerely appreciated.🙏😊

[@JacobsRegeneration]

Being a friend 2 your self.. can you elaborate some.. I feel this will help many. Thanks in advance!

[@anntrope491]

Great info… I believe this will be very helpful for a lot of people… including myself,& my adopted son… thank you !!💕🌻🦋🌸💕

[@edmo1982]

Omg, I've check all the boxes😂 1to6 no wonder my mind was so f***d up

[@eunicemboya9016]

Wonderful presentation ❤

[@KateMurray]

Super interesting that we can label and reframe our thoughts! I'm going to start paying more attention! :)

[@midnightplum1760]

I love you and your knowledge.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you! I truly hope it is helpful for you!

[@hew195050]

Byron Katie work is one of the ways to do CBT work on yourself. VERY helpful!

[@wilma.espiritucrowley]

Thank you for this, Barbara! I appreciate you and your work!

[@oriettabornacelli5426]

Your are an excellent resource for other therapists thank youuuu❤

[@cheriehugler3302]

I was just admiring the picture on the wall and then u stopped to mention it and that yr Mum painted it and I was like Oh my gosh can she read my mind!!!! Lol Its a very lovely painting! And your presentation is awesome, feeling as tho I finally understand what is going on with me so thank you very much 🙏

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!

[@Doglady3]

THANK YOU!

[@plamont2004]

That is the best advice anyone has ever given me "What would you say to a friend?". Thank you Barbara

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

❤

[@jeandresley275]

I love the idea of being a friend to your self.

[@julianyk29]

Hi¡¡ I´m from Mexico, excuse my poor English please. Just to say thank you. Your videos are awesome and helps me a lot in order to improve as a human being and as a therapist

[@Onlinesully]

Are you a practicing therapist ? What country? Hope it is going well for you. Take care.

[@jones10121970]

Thank you for your videos. I feel comfort when I watch them.

[@brendaparker3658]

So happy I found you dear Barbara. Love it and love the water lillies.....so wonderfully gifted and helpful you are. Learning so much. Love and light, Brenda

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you Brenda! :)

[@user-qs6cw5ll4q]

BEAUTIFULLY explained…a real treasure 🙏☀️ of a video!!! 🙋🏻‍♀️💫⭐️💫

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you kindly!

[@Trisha_B_done]

Wow....did not realize I'd gotten to the "Why bother" stage. Life circumstances and the thought patterns you mentioned hit me on point. I am a caregiver by nature (& was one by profession) and have wondered lately WHY I don't seem to treat nor care for myself as much as I do others. This video helps bring the patterns to light, and gives me tools to work with. Thank you. Much needed in these days of forced isolation due to the Covid. Will fed to others. Off to view more of your videos.💕

[@christinemaore7107]

This is so powerful. I love it. I also have a beautiful painting from my daughter.

[@nilzabento1143]

I can say for sure that changing behaviour is very difficult. I am very glad that I found your videos here, I am waiting to be seen by a psychologist and there is a big waiting list. Thank you very much for uploading these videos!

[@franziskaklose11]

Hearing this valid emotional response to the breakup, like saying „I am feeling sad“ instead of thinking about the future and how it will always end up like this hit a nerve. I was never able to just express how I feel so I got anxious it might happen again which causes all the catastrophic scenarios in my head.

[@brittae90]

Seriously, I can't explain how helpful your videos have been to me. I found your channel yesterday and I have been obsessing. I love your vibes, meditation, medication beliefs, and your calming voice. It would be so amazing to have you as a therapist

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Brittani Lee: Thanks so much! I'm so pleased it is all resonating with you! Join me for the Free webinar (link in notes below video) which is coming up soon.

[@brittae90]

@@BarbaraHeffernan oh yes. I already signed up for the soonest one. ♥️ Thank you for all you do

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@brittae90 Awesome! I look forward to "meeting" you there!

[@kingnola..952]

Thank you I love this video 👍💗

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know!! I hope it helps!

[@j.juanpaiz4391]

So much wisdom explained in a simple manner, so that the brain accept it without interference....! That´s the way how you deliver an important human truth. Excellent!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

😀😀🙏

[@ClaireTanseysKitchen]

Thank you for this. Thinking patterns are everything!

[@frankuriegas1888]

I cried watching this video because it’s my first time in a long time trying to seek help for my anxiety and a lot these negative thoughts are how I think, this was really helpful and im going to start developing a better thinking pattern, thank you.

[@v3Lovely]

Your vidoes save my life. I would give anything to sit down and talk with you. You're so awesome. Thank you.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Wow, thank you. So pleased the videos have helped so much!

[@tinamitchell8223]

Beck's Barriers labelling, emotional reasoning and catastrophizing really applies to people I currently know who are no longer in relationships and doing exactly what you describe. Thank you for making me think their thought processes through that CBT theory. They do not think of the fallacy of fairness about themselves but there is black and white thinking...

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So glad this was helpful!

[@franklinstephen3268]

Hello Tina how’re you doing?

[@hemday9346]

I love you for changing my thoughts and behaviors. Thanks!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome!! Thanks for letting me know how helpful this has been

[@isla4953]

2 things: thank you for sharing this important information and your Mum is an amazing artist 😻

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

😀♥️

[@craigalden54]

Thank you so much....

[@reazmahmud5505]

This Lady Is A Savior !!😌

[@miraeraya]

Your mom's painting has a calming effect. She has a hand like your mind. You are both great and good souls.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you! That is so sweet of you to say. I did inherit my desire to help others from my mom :)

[@alisiakrastelcoach]

Ohhhh, labeling... that was so powerful!

[@pgreen6840]

I enjoy always talking to myself constructively as I am in good company :)

[@lead-tv1385]

I needed this in my life.

[@ariellelucena5127]

Beautiful painting from your mum ❤

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much 😀 I agree!

[@MrBish435]

Thank you so much Barbara, this video has been so good in helping me identifying my unhelpful thoughts. I'm looking forward to learning and implementing CBT tools.

[@elleaprilterrell]

❤❤❤thanks- and I am sure this is a rewatch with a pen and pad😀

[@aliciaalexander6745]

Great explaining and examples

[@gh-ps5es]

I've learned all of this through experience in therapy but it might be because I'm a science person, I find that I can work more practically when I have structure. But I can't just take out a pen and write everything down in a book while my therapist is speaking, and having it being broken down for me like this makes me think it's not an impossible mountain to climb. Thank you so much for your service, I look forward to exercising what you've taught here with my therapist's support and hopefully moving on from this stangnancy crisis I've been facing throughout the 5 years of my 20s.

[@neila.rochelle565]

3:57 thank you Barbara. I’ve worked for years with CBT but get stuck and revert back to negative self talk. Excellent reminder for me. Also a reminder of how hard it is to change these thoughts

[@bozenawojno344]

I am so grateful for your wonderful job. I was so tired with my emotional pain and I was looking for help... and I find You. Everything you say makes sense to me and I can see that I have to learn to treat myself better and no more sabotaging myself. I am 74 years old and I want to be young mentally again. I’m involved in qigong and now I have you 💞so I am in good hands and I can see my future much brighter and healthier 🙏be blessed forever and always 🌹

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So happy you are here. How wonderful you are accessing these powerful tools - qigong is great! Welcome! 🌹

[@rsnsol2490]

I totally believe being a friend to yourself and self love is the first and most important step. I have to say that in my experiences with some of this , if I asked my boss if everything is ok when he walks by and says nothing in a crappy mood way he would instantly be offended, because I tried this and learned to just keep my mouth shut. it only makes things worse because toxic situations in a work place are ever present as a reflection of the state of general mental health in society. so ideally I agree with your approach but when you have been through people using and abusing you for years out of their own selfishness and a lack of knowing how to stand up for yourself even when it means offending your boss or parents or whatever it makes it hard to have faith in people that they would even care about what I have to say or how I feel. its frustrating to me trying to deal with the hatefulness and selfishness i encounter .

[@jasminedsilva9087]

Thank you thank you thank you!! You’re helping me help myself ❤️ Priceless gift.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are so welcome

[@leofunks31]

Barbara I just want to say that you are an absolute legend!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

LOL! Never thought I'd be a legend :). So glad the videos are helpful for you!

[@rohankulkarni100]

wow..its so practical and useful technique. Thanks for shaing

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! Thanks for letting me know!

[@joanmeyer4743]

My mom died last month & we didn't have a healthy relationship. I was visited with her every day as she slowly died but never brought up any of the negative things that were said & done in the past - the reasons why we weren't talking in the first place. Now I believe that I will never get closure.

[@basdevos1746]

Hi Joan, my parents died when I was 30 years old. Lot of things were left unsaid. Especcialy about my upbringing. I wrote a letter to them and read it out loud to my girlfriend, as if she were my parents. In this letter I told my parents whitch struggles I had growing up, and asked them why they treated me the way they did. My conclusion at the end was that they didn't know any better. They tried in a poor manner to raise me. They acted in patterns of behaviour, they themselves were taught by their parents. I told them that I have forgiven them for that. That's how I got closure. Hope it will help you to do the same. Lots of love to you from the Netherlands

[@francesbeth2077]

I was not aware of CBT. It was so helpful for me because I can relate to some of the unhelpful behaviors. Thank-you again for sharing.

[@rajesh2517]

hey Barbara, you are a great soul helping people get out of sorrow. May Jesus bless you. Love from India :)

[@menposed]

This woman is a God send!!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks!

[@mahmoudsalahat259]

Thanks alot about this feedback my specificly, cognitive thoughts distortion

[@brittneyholiday7795]

I love your Mom's painting! Very nicely done and it's beautiful. :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you so much!

[@hsmint]

Thank you Barbara

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! I hope it is helpful!

[@anbujothivinodkumar3564]

Hello mam. I am from India. Your words are soothing.. Very helpful... Love u so much.... Waiting to watch more. Thank u

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it is resonating with you!

[@ekkamailax]

God bless you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you very much :). I wish you the best!

[@mollygoheavier1709]

Thank you soooo much xxx agoraphobia server anxiety and depression here for 18 years with no help xxx

[@medhachakraborty7474]

Thank you 🌈

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You’re welcome!

[@Snowystardust12]

I really appreciates being reminded to be a good friend to myself. I would love to hear you speak about the various cognitive distortions more often. They are eye opening and like purification for the mind.

[@vinina2009]

I love the way you explained all the mental distortions ! God bless you .

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you!😀

[@mariamkinen8036]

TY. ❤️ My eldest bro is a drab. No deal. Nice painting. Yes.

[@joeyzalman8254]

thank you very much, very clear!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome!

[@markony94]

I discovered your videos yesterday, and what I can say is that you speak in a straightforward, down-to-earth language. Thank you!

[@robynvanderlely2926]

I absolutely loved this video. It really resonated with my life and how I am personalising things and catastrophising . I will work on this . Thank you

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So glad this was helpful! You can do this! :) wishing you the best, Barbara

[@eduardomartindelcampo1134]

Magnificent, I´ve just seen two of your videos and are amazing. Thank you for helpling us.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! Thank you for letting me know!

[@jamesstokes1579]

This was very helpful. In having a few days of feeling quite down at times, a few of these videos have helped identify where my thoughts are. Now I can start changing the response.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Terrific to hear! So glad they are helpful for you.

[@Linusrox123]

I have {sadly), had to watch perhaps 100 KZbin shrinks before coming here. Without having gone through a lot of your videos, I have to say that I just love your way of explaining these things as if you are a good friend or mother talking to her bestie or kid. I really appreciate it. There is an Aussie woman on Psych Central who also talks with her hands and has this gift of conveying their knowledge as if there were, you know, a human.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for letting me know! I hope my videos are truly helpful for you!

[@tstephensen8614]

I struggle with these distorted thoughts. I am going to work on being a better friend to myself and so I am going to work on building the habit of listening to one of your videos each day. Thank you for taking the time to share your expertise!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So wonderful to hear that you’re aiming to be a better friend to yourself. I love it!!

[@lucyperalta7978]

So grateful.. Your channel is what I needed ❤️🙏🏻

[@sosleepy1193]

Maam, ure getting me all choked up, thank you so much

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I hope this is helpful. 🤗

[@gardenialeeman4932]

Very interesting! Thank you so much! And the paint is beautiful! What I have in my office and I love is a picture of may Great grand parents. Just love it!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome and thank you for letting me know!