Be Discerning: 10 Sneaky Clues He’s Playing You || Red Flags To Watch Out For 🚩

[@maameabenaanimwaah1580]

Some of these men who are good listeners listen to use your own words against you.

[@sophiachybe747]

Spot on

[@IjeomaMbadugha-Sunny-dt5it]

I totally agree

[@Sonictheshorthog]

Agree

[@nonyabigness]

Should a man not listen. 😂

[@babou5694]

When your gut feelings is telling you something ain’t right? Trust it . Something definitely ain’t right. I use it all the time and pray about . Using my Intuition never fails me.

[@baldwinhillzbrattt]

That's so true. I'm starting to learn this fr. When you get a gut feeling ... just leave and do you because you're not getting that feeling for know reason!

[@ariellet4668]

I broke up with a man I thought was the one three weeks ago because something did not feel right, I did not want to break up with him. He checked off all the boxes only he kept canceling on our dates he was a provider great listener put me on a pedestal, but he constantly kept canceling dates and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I found out that he was listening to his mother and she was making decisions for him. The best decision I did was leave.

[@Shesrachael4]

Broke up with him because of inconsistent communication, best decision I ever made.

[@marykivuva6412]

I'm about to do that to one son of pharaoh who thinks I'll just sit and wait for him to call me after being so inconsistent for a while now... I'm just tired and not interested in the rship anymore

[@Shesrachael4]

@marykivuva6412 Ask him for clarity and if u ain't getting any . ..then u can walk away

[@Bigbadgurl]

@@marykivuva6412don’t ask for clarity. You don’t need it. It’s already CLEAR that he isn’t intentional about you. He is just entertaining you while investing in another person. Ghost him completely

[@ms.camillewarrenempress31]

People just don’t want real thing that why I rather die alone

[@MulungiChristine]

I really need strength to do this, but I fear to be alone. I need Jesus right now more than ever . I can't take in anymore the inconsistent of this guy. He has made me feel so low and asking myself why am I not getting what I give in return. Jesus I out this here because I need a way forward. Show me a way forward. Dear Lord.

[@francesmbewe8457]

The talking bad about the baby mama 😂👏🏽 you will think the baby mama is crazy until you are in her shoes

[@MyLifeAsRaphael]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@BelindaMahama-b8f]

True

[@ritipee3593]

True

[@ONLYmindYourBusiness]

😳😭🤣

[@cutseruni5630]

I met someone on Tinder, and after just a couple of seconds of chatting, he was already telling me I was 'the one' and that I'd be his wife. I didn’t see this as a big red flag at first since it was my first time trying to date, so I just laughed it off, thinking he was joking. But when we finally met after a week of chatting, I immediately felt overwhelmed by his actions. Besides our shared love of anime, we didn’t have much in common. We had different senses of humor, and I'm usually a pretty loud person who likes to vent and get opinions on things. But he didn’t want any of that-he even said he hated 'gossiping' about others. During the date, I was the only one trying to keep the conversation going while he just nodded and silently judged me. After that date, I blocked him, and then he showed his true colors, blowing up my Instagram DMs with insults about my body and other things. Glad i Dodge that shit 😂

[@ONLYmindYourBusiness]

Dang .. what a coward 🤬

[@marnieandnoelle]

Jealousy and control issues are big red flags. If he doesn't want you to ever talk to any other man and even is jealous of your spending time with girlfriends, and wants to control everything you do, wear, say, etc., run far, far away!

[@renateabi2662]

You said my mind. My fiance stopped me from speaking with my male friends from church and always try to pick what I wear at times I feel he's doing too much...coupled with others I'm healing and will call it off in matter of days. Even though he doesn't know 😂😂

[@marnieandnoelle]

@@renateabi2662 Be careful, sometimes men like that can be dangerous when you try to break things off.

[@renateabi2662]

Honestly I've tried twice but he refused to let me go claiming that we fix things . I've rage and anger he has whenever there's a conflict I don't understand. I'll look for a way and travel back home

[@marnieandnoelle]

@@renateabi2662 Praying everything goes well for you.

[@princessidokoiwas558]

Exactly my case , I have cut everyone off because of this man , and I am done really done

[@anshiicaa_sharmaa0717]

One major red flag is that they do not like to discuss about their relationship with x and do not think about the future of your relationship.

[@call-me-Diana]

Another red flag is he wants to keep the relationship secret even after you both have been dating for a while, he does not want to see your pastor, mentor or anyone you esteem as authority over you claiming he likes being private.

[@emmadiri7189]

Even privacy is good but secrecy is a red flag. A relationship can be private without being a secret. I agree

[@victoriaosuporu7177]

Story of my life 😅

[@Florachika]

Another Red flag is that he acts perfect

[@AnnoyedBeagle-sb6hw]

A red flag, you visit the man then he takes more of the time on his phone or laptop.

[@mercyakpan8032]

I agree.

[@simply_sophia]

#9. Been there. I was not feeling peace in that relationship; In my gut, when I prayed, my body just told me no. And I was right. Started asking me for money, was jealous of what I had going on, started monitoring where I went/who I talked to. When I broke up with him, the most hurtful thing he said is that I’m acting as if I’m all that and that I should humble myself, I’m not that pretty to be acting like I am. No guy is going to go for this (abstaining), etc. Words I didn’t expect from a man who wanted to marry me.

[@babou5694]

A lot of men carry lots of narcissistic traits . Once you tell them no . Their true color comes out . Lying, gaslighting, controlling, manipulating. That’s what majority of them do. That’s why I’m not surprised of how they act . Cause I know they are on BS.

[@ms.camillewarrenempress31]

You go with the first gut

[@lf3554]

dodged a bullet! 👏

[@marymwinga5082]

Men men men think we are stupid. They think we will just junp accepting them when they say they want to marry us just within first time of communicating, not knowing a single thing about us. Then after weeks their true colours start to pop up. I am a very patient person and always choose singleness over counterfeits. Not this time 😅

[@uchevania8250]

The part of the " strong feelings" you get knowing that there's something wrong somewhere but you just can't figure out 😢

[@AyesheIsAlwaysLovely]

That’s your discernment kicking in…START PLANNING YOUR EXIT.

[@adaobiokoye9345]

A lot of guys do fhis these days, expecially ghosting. One has to be careful and prayerful

[@mbamemarieclaudine1628]

Miss Ayanime I just want to be your friend. So much wisdom, so much poise, so much intentionality. You are dripping with elegance sister.

[@flok7201]

I’ve been there; I still remember my experience. On our first date, he wanted to marry me the next month! 😂😂 It was exactly like my experience; if we weren’t in the same country, I’d say it was the same person, the only difference mine was constantly calling and lovebombing me, he wants to know my every movement. He was saying things like, ‘I want us to travel and go on a vacation.’ Most of them love to control and are arrogant. They’re immature.

[@daramolamary9563]

Ayanime says and I quote... he's a walking, talking breathing red flag😂😂😂😂. I so much love and enjoy listening to you.

[@Rachael_Callista]

This was so educational . Ladies all she is saying is true

[@Designwithaceetee]

You are just all shades of glow today miss ayanime😍

[@debbieyoyo2997]

Your intuition is your gift ladies, please use it.

[@CrownAsé]

Substance abuse, whether it’s drugs like marijuana or cocaine or alcohol, can be a significant red flag in a relationship. If someone consistently needs to be under the influence while spending time with you whether it’s to “set a vibe,” for intimacy, or just to hang out it raises concerns. Why can’t they be sober when you’re together, especially if you’re trying to build a meaningful connection? Inviting you over to get to know each other, only to use substances, signals a lack of authenticity or emotional availability. It’s even more troubling if they ask you to procure(buy) drugs for them that’s a red flag in itself. Another red flag is when a man is willing to take your money but never reciprocates. Or even ask for help period in anyway. If he lets you spend on him or cater to him without ever taking you out or doing anything thoughtful in return, it shows a lack of respect and balance in the relationship. A man who expects you to give while giving nothing back is a clear warning sign. And this is financially and especially emotionally because it your time, care and energy your giving without them offering that same energy in return. I agree, that’s a major red flag. When someone talks negatively about their current partner or ex especially using disrespectful or harsh language it reveals more about their character than the person they’re criticizing. It shows a lack of respect, immaturity, and unresolved emotions. If they’re so upset or bitter, it often indicates they haven’t moved on or taken accountability for their part in those relationships. It also raises concerns about how they might speak about you if things don’t go their way in the future.

[@HighTeaElegance]

We thank God for this early exposure 🙏

[@FollowYourLife]

Another huge red flad is, without being asked, him telling about how much he paid for the things he owns (house, car, watches, curtains, furniture, car wheels, etc etc etc), how much money he spent on trips with his sisters/brothers/children, how much he spent on his divorce(s) and any other luxurious stuff he can afford.

[@martinesalomon5334]

Why is it a huge red flag?

[@FollowYourLife]

@martinesalomon5334 to me it's a sign of insecurity mixed with grandour. Valuing mainly material things above genuine emotional connection. It's bragging - "look how much I can afford, how generous I am. I can buy your love, I can buy anything I want, value me for my success and money, not for who I am, I am not worth of being loved. You can have this too if you behave and do the right things. I know everything, listen to me and you'll be happy". Etc... Etc... Etc... In my experience such a man lacks empathy and doesn't care about someone's feelings. He love bombs and then discards a person. Easily.

[@theChariteTV]

Yup!!! I just act like I don’t care

[@debbieyoyo2997]

I’m exhausted already. You were very patient with him.

[@obengjemima6477]

This advice is golden.I almost felt into one’s trap😂

[@tamibebijohn3199]

I have been a victim of Mr..... moving too fast, He was a divorcee with three kids, and I barely knew him, lets say a month and he started with the marriage talk and my mind was not at peace with him. Plus he refused to share what caused their divorce, I told him I cannot continue coz I might still make same mistake his ex made or even worst

[@oladipupoesupofo9554]

God bless every sweet man out there, including mine.❤

[@PhionahB-p4b]

Such people are always fast they dont have patience in anything

[@diastemakay_offe]

From 12:25 I started laughing with you, 12:29 I felt that Aah so deep😅. We as women have to be really discerning, truly know what we what, pray for clarity and direction. I'm loving this episode. Thanks for sharing

[@obiakormarychinonye9116]

Please signs of narcissistic men

[@lawsonvictoria459]

Your channel is the best thing that has happened to me this season of my life

[@Corn.G4]

I'm so glad you touched on channeling anger- this kind of energy in a healthy and powerful way! It's so true.

[@kenelontchi247]

Thank you for sharing. I witnessed most of these signs in my previous relationship. Met a guy the first month he told me he wanted to marry me, what???? Always talks bad about the ex, as if he was a Saint. Many relatives told me there is something fishy about him but I did not listen. Even my intuition was telling me, it's not a good direction but I kept insisting. Always presure me for sex, Humm. Thank God after some prayers and fasting God gave me the grace to end everything. It was not easy but God made it easy for me.

[@Gabby_glow]

I agree with all the advice you gave. When my head started spinning, I knew that something wasn't right and I walked away, but then he chased me and it was the same thing again. Trust your instincts this time girl, best decision I left him on read and let his feelings hurt while I am at peace. No contact from me, and he continued to message me, so I left him on read. Even though I had the option to block him

[@C.Laura5938]

Thank you so very much for this mam. This is just for me at this moment. The truth is I don't see the need for the rush in any relationship especially when thinking of marriage. We really need to slow down, get to know each other.

[@UjayAhamefula]

Ayanime you have such a beautiful laugh😍😂😂

[@kerasrc6230]

#2, 4, 5, 7, 8 check. And my #10 with this particular individual - no argument was over until he won or one of us walked away. Toxic does not even begin to describe those exchanges, lol I was younger, but still old enough to have known better. Took several years for me to exit that entanglement. Don't let that be you. Trust your instincts, ALWAYS

[@BlessingChinaza-j5d]

I've had same experience in a relationship, when the relationship was still tender he was all loving and caring and sweet young man but after like a month our communication started fading and he's easily annoyed over things unnecessarily when I spoke to him about it he apologises and then offers me a monetary gift, at that time I thought it was just a gesture but when repeated the same thing after ignoring me for two weeks plus without calling or texting with the explanation that he was busy , I got so irritated that I had to make him understand that am not going to be bought over with money anymore, he left and never returned

[@anitalawrence122]

My favorite actress in the movie series “Selena”

[@Tinahbae29]

The church story made me laugh 😂 Men! men! will always find a way to embarrass us It's just me healing from all these red flags I thank God that I was able to notice earlier and stop the mess I was in✌️❤💃

[@estaexcellent]

Oh My Elegant Esteemed Coach, all that you've listed were my exact experience I'm not kidding you...but because I have been listening to you and Winnie's School of Elegance and with my experiences and my standards that I can't lower. I stopped picking his calls and responding to his messages..... Thank you 🙏 for sharing this now I know I'm on the right path ❤❤

[@graceacquah246]

Anyanime I love your red nails 😊

[@kingdomfirst4541]

You’re a good content creators, precise, specific and great examples!!

[@francesmbewe8457]

That question about divorcing a billionaire husband is a red flag 🚩in itself. There are some people who you will go on dates with and think to yourself “ey I have suffered”.

[@ms.seipatisekokotoana6694]

Happy to have found your channel ❤😊

[@olayinkasolomont]

The story of 2 children is sooo funnnyyyyyyy

[@watchandlearn3590]

Gosh…you just totally nailed it with this one.

[@kaghasylvia6735]

what if he says the relationship is whatever you the lady defines it to be?

[@_NAANMIBAWA_]

Very lovely video. Please can you do one talking about situationship....

[@anaesblaise6548]

Those Mister Who 😂 listen nothing about your real-life situation. 😅

[@TheMercilina]

Ayanime first of all I'd like to say that you are every man's goal and of course these things are expected. Because I remember the first time I saw you I was already calculating who I wish I can connect you to. However, all these can be avoided if you practice Rotational Dating. All women should do this as it would save you from a lot and you'll be able to observe without your heart being compromised. Just like Mr woo or what, if you had been detached and just observing, you would have taken all his antics as what it is without being involved. If he wants to take you shopping, then by all means he should. Rotational Dating enables you to go on dates and just enjoy yourself without having expectations. And when the right one is in front of you you'd definitely know

[@ayanime_edem]

I can’t believe I’m just seeing this comment 🤦🏽‍♀️ Oh thank you for your kind words, they just made my day. I do practice and advocate for rotational dating because it can be such a game changer when done right. As for being detached, I’m proud to say I was and the reason I didn’t go on a date again with him or allow him take me shopping was that after all his antics and revelations about himself, he was out of the rotation. I needed to make space for someone else 😉

[@kerasrc6230]

12:12 That is all. And I haven't even finished watching yet.

[@PreciousIbironke]

The 5th Tip is really funny 😂😂

[@_itzprudencez]

He sent me the movie "war room" like you mean i should be on my feet praying for you while you cheat with your two eyes opened?

[@Gloryboundmedia24]

Awh awh! He believes that much in your ministry! 🙈🤣🤣🤣

[@chiomaonwuamaeze8605]

Aaahh😂😂

[@etukudoubokobong4460]

Every single point mentioned is so true. Now I wish I had seen this video b4 then, but I guess we learn everyday.

[@nubianQueen009]

I had a friend who tried being affectionate and all of that with me. he wanted to me to compromise with my sexual values. He didn’t define our relationship. I fled. I’ve seen that before. My gut feeling wasn’t at rest. I’m glad I ended things.

[@azianizz]

First to comment! Yay!!🎉🎉🎉

[@beatricesarpomaaosei459]

I like the third point

[@francesmbewe8457]

Every time this person disappeared, the less I cared. Eventually I let go and didn’t look back

[@janetngare1003]

Ah ah ahhh I met such a guy from the jump he says let's get married let's get married I ran for dear life

[@reabetswenene2922]

Love this look so much! Absolutely gorgeous 😍😍😍

[@suadfarole5136]

We need to hold man accountability of their stability

[@vicnanziri4617]

I just added a few on my list. This is very eye opening. Thanks so much sis. May be the other red flag is when he makes everything about him! No recognition for anyone else. Like he always use "I". ...... That really sucks cause it can't always be about you!

[@CN-Nesyia]

Is this man name donald? Lol he sound familiar

[@eloquencewithabimbola]

Ayanime, let's go shopping tomorrow. That's on me.😂

[@ayanime_edem]

😂😂

[@DaintyAbby]

Ayyy you are looking so pretty and radiant 🥰💕

[@ayanime_edem]

Oh thank you beautiful 🤍

[@OluebubeWrites]

Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤

[@estherdickson4247]

Ma’am you are looking gorgeous gourgeous😮😊❤!

[@jennysbeads]

Some men are taking from our play book... Women say they like men who have a plan blah blah blah

[@namulondobeatrice9340]

Mine knew that every Monday I go to his place, transport is mine and leaves the house open whenever I go but this time I asked is the house open? With aloud voice Nop ! I went before reaching my instinct told to first call him phone number off on WhatsApp on text him said I first take photo where I was took photo the guy said I'm lying, I came back home heart broken my relief was to broke him no access is calling but I'm down

[@AndiOutLoud]

😂😂 @ the devil is a liar. I can’t 😂😂

[@onyioje]

Good evening ma, please i haven't gotten an answer to my question yet

[@HelenSunday-xu9vi]

Thank you Ayanime. That no 8, 1 think every woman should pay attention to it. And I noticed it's always with a long time male friend and you might be carried away that you are in a relationship but he hasn't defined it before. I have experienced it before and i had to set boundaries. Do you know someone told me recently that the guy has done his traditional marriage but he chatted me two months ago that he wanted to see me. But i declined because I have known him for many years without him making any commitment but wanted sex. Most men are very crafty in this aspect. Another red flag is a guy making clear to your face that he has a woman in his life but still wants to be with you. Please no elegant woman should reduce her worth to this level. Any form of disrespect is a red flag promax

[@olamidegeorge]

Thank youuu ❤

[@mauricequeen]

he said, if we are joking and i say that i will hit you now , what will i do

[@faithharuna8414]

Beautiful. Learnt a lot. Thank you

[@AgnesImpraim]

I have been watching your videos It's very educative I would be glad if you would make a video on grooming and self care and tips on self care Kudos 👏

[@adamsmeshach7729]

Best video in the internet ❤

[@MzConcept13]

Been talking with a guy for 4 months now consistently....he told me he really likes me but he is not ready to get into a relationship right now but he is willing to see where things go.....i dont know how to respond to this....i like him but maybe i should withdraw myself....

[@faithasaya]

Maybe??? RUN SISTER!!!

[@chisomchukwuma3906]

Are you still waiting? Runnnnn o Once they want to see where it goes or to go with the flow, runnn

[@chidinmacliffordCAGCE]

​It's the Runnnnnn ooo for me😂@@chisomchukwuma3906

[@Deedee718Bklyn]

Yes, get rid of him. He is looking for something for free.

[@obiakormarychinonye9116]

Good afternoon ayanime Please can you make a video on list for beginners who wants to go into their elegance phase. Like from beginners to master stages, thank you

[@KathyAndrews-f8r]

I think she has a video on that. What you shouldnt wear and things to switch up for the other.

[@adusandra5446]

I admire you Ayanime ❤

[@Habbybash]

What a beautiful and informative video

[@ogochukwunwa]

I just love you ❤❤

[@patienceakhabue4366]

Ayanime, nice video. Can I ask a question please, personal though, am looking for a friend with this name. Did you ever live in Navy town Ojo.

[@oladipupoesupofo9554]

Miss Anyanime. Please, can I have a chat with you?

[@odyody502]

Looking great

[@NancyKargbo-h8j]

Thanks a billion ma

[@mamekay3467]

Mr Woo has Narcissistic personality disorder that’s unfortunately the summary of it all ‼️advice: pls Run

[@UjayAhamefula]

I do what i gotta do😭😂😂

[@emp-g4w]

Been there

[@Junestern]

Met this Nigerian guy and unfortunately he had all these traits.I left,a month later i met him with his pregnant ex".HE WAS DOING EVERYTHING WITH HER, WHILE HE WAS WITH ME🤑

[@talatuisah4226]

❤❤❤

[@Stacey1.2.3.4]

I experienced something similar. Met this guy and he wants us to get married in a space of 5 months before leaving the country. He was like... He'll get me a passport after some months or a year so I can join him over there 😂😂😂

[@ms.camillewarrenempress31]

That why you cannot trust people all the way especially trying to do it on your own

[@nurseannesinspirationalwellnes]

❤❤❤

[@GlendaCarr-e6g]

Taking his phone with him when he is just going too the kitchen 😂 after receiving 5 text messages back too back, so i wait until he is snoring and open the phone because the dumbass gave me his password 😂 and its text like hey long time no see you know whom this is? Or hey i just called you text me back! So i open it up and reply i was eating my ladies 😻 when you called or text , hahaha they say fk off and that they will now block me, aka him 😂 and i delete my messages too them 😂 so when he sneaks and responds the next day it wont go through becausshthey have now blocked him😂 you cant play a playa

[@Goddess_Nkem]

More red flag when he mentions the price tags of things he owns or wears... and when I asked him to help replace my 58k perfume, he says "later" 😂 it's been 2 months... he never brought it up... neither did I. ( always saying "ego adiro", but would rather lodge me in a hotel than take me to his place🤦‍♀️ It's like some of these men think women are dump asf Another one is when he talks more about sex-scapades ... says he is a bad boy , and when it comes to doing the hing, oga comes in less than a minute! Like wtf!!😂 Plus he keeps saying "let's born together" ( let's have babies together 🤣) Not to mention he has 2 little boys and a woman he did traditional marriage with , but hey are "having issues". I don't call, he does the calling, I've stopped picking When he gets the hint , he will stop calling 😂😂

[@zaraa.6549]

13:49

[@miayana2539]

Totally off topic but you have such a pretty name. I love the way it rolls off my tongue. What does it mean?

[@irenekafoda_favcarsalesrep9800]

True ❤

[@Holamiamigos777]

The few african men that I briefly dated were like this. This man told me Day ✌🏽 of us meeting. "My parents got married within 1 week of them meeting each other" sir what are you telling me that for? 😂 if you want somebody to drop a bag on you get you an african man they are not selfish. But if you want to date someone not for play play Go with God 😭 you're welcome

[@ayanime_edem]

Not the go with God 😂😂

[@OlyoUdeoye]

Am first