Beautiful Boy: More Than An Addict

The beauty of the Santa Rosa Ecological Reserve in southern California provides the backdrop for a father's lament upon losing his beautiful son to addiction and mental illness.
Walk alongside him, as together, we who survive dream of a better day, sustained and inspired by the pain, brokenness and courage of those who live with the unrelenting weight of mental illness and addiction.
morethananaddic...
Click this link to listen or buy 'We're Still Here' by Vanessa Contopulos:
vanessacontopul...

[@Add_Account485]

Sentences that stood out to me!! " Recovery is not about a bad person becoming good.. it is about a sick person becoming well!!!.. (Hallelujah!!! Finally somebody who gets it from the right vantage point!) " Where did we loose you ? " Where did you go? " What door was "UNKNOWINGLY" opened by you that could now never be closed!?. " " These drugs that had one time bought U such relief had now been forged into your own personal BALL AND CHAIN?! ... Thats becomes your oxygen ; your means for survival?!" " They whisper ' one more time!!. & This time it will be different!!!! ( That is 💯 truth!) Parents aware of a child's suffering of the stigma the disease brought! Very much truth in this.. The words.. THANKYOU.. for your understanding. You got no idea how powerful all of that is.. I have not met one person who is not an addict that understands any of that. Some of these words are as though the addict themself has written this poetry.. God bless your hearts.. Your insight and wisdom is beyond tremendous.. you've obviously done a lot of soul searching.. I've never come across parents that UNDERSTAND like that..

[@profdavidclark]

Jim, I was deeply moved by your beautiful tribute to Nick. We must develop the recovery communities you talk about. I will put your film on our Recovery Stories website. It is the courage, love and understanding of people like you who will help change the world.

[@lauramilagros5472]

3/7/2015 What a wonderful tribute your beautiful boy. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a semi-retired RN, BS, & I have worked with the Recovering Community. I have seen their struggles, their set-backs & their triumphs, many having "dual diagnoses." This may be an unfamiliar term to the general public & many are still unaware that there is a whole group of people "out there" who have what the professionals call a "dual diagnosis." This refers to those who SIMULTANEOUSLY suffer from mental illness AND a substance addiction. Generally speaking, the mental illness appears YEARS before & goes unrecognized & undiagnosed. As a result, because the person is so miserable & so tortured, they begin to experiment with self-medication. They are so desperate to find relief any way possible. Unfortunately, street drugs, use/abuse of prescription meds & narcotics, & excess alcohol abuse are NEVER THE ANSWER TO ANYTHING. EVER!! They only compound the problem & make a bad situation worse. Not only do these individuals spiral rapidly downhill - they can, & often do, take their ENTIRE family right down with them! As it is, substance addiction causes severe collateral damage to those around them. Those with a dual diagnosis, however, take this to a whole other level. I dont need to stand on a soapbox & point out the obvious, but what makes a bad situation even worse is this: Our healthcare system has FAILED these persons on every level. Even more obvious: Early, accurate diagnosis & CORRECT, multi-fasceted treatments will save a lot of lives & preserve a lot of families.

[@Add_Account485]

I can't believe the enlightenment of the writer of this video... I 100% believe you finally got it . Now to get the rest of the world to catch on..

[@Marcy1420]

Jim! Because of Nick I am now working in a recovery center as an addiction counselor and group facilitator. I searched for addiction videos that would be great for group today and could not believe I stumbled on this. I shared this video with my group today and thought of you all. Thank you for sharing this video and continuing to keep Nicks story alive for those that are also suffering with this disease. God bless you all ❤ -Marcy

[@jimcontopulos8729]

Thank you Rocco for your kind words but more importantly, for your recovery. Yes, the world needs helping. Take a look at Shatterproof and get involved..they need your voice and passion. jim

[@susanklimusko6092]

So beautifully said and done. I too lost one of my beautiful boys, Austin, age 23...thanks for helping lift the stigma of addiction. I walk with mine everyday

[@missrachel1974]

When I seen this, the only word to come to mind is WOW. This is all so perfectly said. I have a loved one who is a veteran and a heroin user. It kills me and rips my heart apart. The part that really sticks with me is when it was stated that an addict trying to get clean is not a bad person trying to become a good person. It is a sick person trying to get well. Thank you sir so very much for putting this out there. Whether you know it or not, I believe this video is helping others. It helped me put some things into perspective and for that I am grateful.

[@scrosby3119]

Thank you Jim for your courage, and strength in sharing your story in such a beautiful way. It has touched my soul. Our son is now 24 and 2 years clean from heroin. He suffers from incredible anxiety and I pray that he will live to one day feel the joy he deserves. He is our beautiful boy. Our family's pain has brought me to working in our community to reduce stigma and increase understanding of these illnesses. May you be comforted in the light and love you have provided for others.

[@RachelGigliCarrieri]

Watching this Jim for the first time. Such a beautiful tribute. Such a loss. Sending you enormous amounts of love for everything you do for you family. And for us Carrieri's as an extension of that. xoxo

[@belindacontopulos4153]

Rachel, I'm just now seeing your comments. Thank you for these kind words.

[@belindacontopulos4153]

12 years now and still I say "there is not a day or an hour that I don't think of you" Nick's dad.

[@cathiemoog2399]

Jim, this is a deeply touching tribute to Nick and your love for him. You clearly struggled alongside your son during his addiction and mental health problems. I am very saddened by your story. I lost my 22-year old son in 2000, while he was staying at a drug rehab in N. California. I would like to start a statewide (and possibly national) dialogue about needed changes to the current system of addiction treatment. I am looking for people to stand with me in that arena. The Justin Foundation.

[@jimcontopulos8729]

Daisy.. thank you. So very sorry for the loss of your own beautiful boy. I understand your pain .. and yes, your hope. May you find the strength to transform your pain into a redemptive work and thus honor his life. Gods peace to you and your loved ones. jim

[@The3ART3]

This is all so true. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for doing something about it with this video.

[@vickikirkpatrick5838]

Jim ~ I just saw story about your Beautiful Boy, Nick. Very touching & in some ways was like my story. My two "Beautiful Boys" Jeremy & Chad were more than just addicts, like your Nick. They struggled with the diseases of addiction & mental illness for nearly 15 years. They were in treatment, however both of them succumbed to their illness. My precious Chad 26 yrs old, went to sleep April 2, 2008 and never woke up. My precious Jeremy 32 yrs old, went to sleep May 5, 2008 and never woke up. Just one month apart I lost my only 2 children to accidental drug overdose. What gets me through is looking forward to when sickness, old age & death will be a thing of the past. A time when I can hold my sons again, their bodies no more affected with disease, but finally healed. May you be blessed for all the good you do. I hope peace touches your broken heart. Vicki

[@jimcontopulos8729]

Vicki.. I am sorry for just now replying to your beautiful words. I am so sorry for the loss of your sons. Just this past week I heard from another friend of mine who lost her 2nd son to this disease. So it through the prism of my tears that I reach out to you. I too look to that better day when we meet our loved ones again, free of the weight from this life. Thank you again for reaching out to me. In Christ Jim

[@KShinn55]

This is all so touching I am bawling my eyes out, we lost are son Nick S. from Az. on February 2nd 2008 when he went to sleep also, I never heard it put that way. You saying all of Nick's out there really is touching me, we miss him so much. I am so sorry you lost both of your sons. And you lost Nick, Jim. I lost my daughter two years before Nick, he struggled with it very hard, even felt bad about missing her funeral. I hope that's not what happened. Anyway I'm so sorry for all of your losses, I am so glad that I recently I'm a recovered alcoholic 17 months, I'm still waiting for his dad though. Prayers and love to you both.

[@jimcontopulos8729]

Thank you Ilona.. there are so many issues that confront us, but recovery teaches and awards so many gifts, not the least is that I am my brothers keeper; there is no "us" and "them" it is "we". "Where we go one..we go all" from the movie White Squall.. Ck out Shatterproof and lend a hand.

[@jimcontopulos8729]

Cathie.. thank you for your thoughtful words. Yes, I have always said that it was easy to love Nick, but difficult to understand him. Such is the case with addiction. I will make contact with you via The Justin Foundation because I, too believe we need to have a national conversation about addiction and mental illness. There are some very encouraging signs that this is beginning to take place. Thank you again. We will talk....For A Better Day

[@roccop913]

I'm so sorry about yourson...addiction is everywhere & has affected me. Thank god I nipped it in the but..I wanna help the WORLD! God bless u & again..I'm so sorry:(

[@carolyn1294]

so sorry for your loss..:(

[@jimcontopulos8729]

David.. thank you for your kind words. The Japanese pottery art/method of Kintsugi is a beautiful metaphor for what needs to take place in the brokenness of our lives. Kintsugi informs us that a live that is broken can be a live of even much greater beauty because of it's brokenness. But this will take community, care and great skill. May we see that Better Day for those affected by these unrelenting diseases. Thanks again. For A Better Day...jim

[@lauramilagros5472]

(CONTINUATION OF COMMENT JUST POSTED IN ERROR. NO OPTION TO EDIT ... ONLY DELETE!) 3/7/2015: cont Currently, there are those who are working hard to REMOVE THE STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS. There are many working hard to bring about overall improvements in mental health care & addiction recovery. There are also those who are working to educate the public regarding patients with "dual diagnoses." Even with all this activity, the wheels seem to move very slowly. Tribute videos, such as this one, are ideal methods in which to both educate the public AND keep a loved one's memory alive. Again, my condolences on the loss of your son & thank you for sharing his story. Please be assured that many lives will be saved by watching this tribute video to your precious son.

[@jimcontopulos6272]

Sara thank you for these words. Yes, he is your "beautiful boy" and deserves recovery. Nick also suffered from extreme anxiety and went in and out of our County's emergency mental health facility. I pray that your son will continue on recovery's well worn path and that your pain continues to inform your service.

[@jimcontopulos6272]

Now 14 years since losing our Beautiful Boy and still I would say " there is not a day or an hour that I don't think of you". Thank you again Nick for your courageous efforts toward recovery. Perhaps a better day is coming, there are some glimmers of hope. Until we meet again on that glorious day .. that Third Day.

[@jimcontopulos6272]

how sorry I am for your loss.. please know during these dark days that you are not alone in your grief .. I too grieve for the loss of your Bobby.. may I mention a book that helped me tremendously during the past 3 years..it is titled "Lament For A Son" .. an exquisite journal to be read over and again... God bless you and your family Meaira..jim

[@jimcontopulos6272]

thank you for your kind words.. too many young people caught in the grip of this unrelenting disease.. John O'Donohue, the Irish poet/philosopher said."all of us, even our ill, are so much greater than our biographies" and so it is of your son and the many "other Nicks" ..jim