Beginning Steps to Heal from a Narcissistic Parent - Rebecca Johnson, LMHC

[@andersdottir1111]

The first thing I did when I identified that I’d been brought up by a narcissistic mother (dec’d now) and recently left a narcissistic partner was to identify other narcissists in my sphere (and there were a LOT of them) and as quickly as possible get rid of them or the ones I couldn’t go no contact (like my daughter as she has my 2 grandchildren) go low contact. I then started to say ‘no’ to almost everything; as I realised requests made of me were not in my interest or I was interested in the request (that’s been a game changer). I spend time now only with people who love and respect me. I still have a long way to go though.

[@AndreaW-dk2ew]

Establishing and maintaining boundaries have been the key. It was difficult in the beginning but is so needed for me to keep a healthy mental state.

[@MakeupbyMillyC]

The healing process can take years, but it’s so worth it. Great video.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks 😊

[@realhealing7802]

After decades of abuse, I finally realized I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family system. I set boundaries, they broke them so I am no contact with my entire toxic family. I am giving myself time to heal. I cannot change or fix anyone but I can change myself. Thanks for your encouraging information.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks for watching.

[@blaxmibusobj]

Thank you.. In today’s world how to deal with Narcissistic abuse is needed

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks for watching!

[@valeriebirge8922]

Thank you for this information and encouragement! Am now, at age 55, being compelled to confront things I have been avoiding and pushing aside my entire life. It seems divine Providence put your video in my KZbin lineup - I have never watched any psychology videos - but there you were, right on time! I am looking forward to learning more.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks for watching!

[@susannahfox7188]

I am someone who went through extensive therapy in the 80's and even became a therapist (LPC) later in 2000 (I am retired now). Not once in any of that therapy or training was narcissism even discussed nor identified. It was all focusing on alcoholism, addictions, etc. Yes, my narcissist mother was/is an alcoholic, but it was not the core issue. I virtually knew nothing about narcissism until the story of Chris Watts woke me up, with me well into my 60's at the time. I have had my share of therapy and 12 step meetings. None of it helped me, obviously. Currently, I am struggling with volcanic anger, which is triggered when I get around alcoholics or addicts, and, wait for it.....narcissists. And most of them use.... So, I am leery of engaging with another therapist and wasting more of my time. Any suggestions? Any books on dealing with anger (obviously, I never learned appropriate coping behavior), my mom's main strategy was hostility and volcanic anger, in addition to attempting to seduce me at every moment. Thank you for any thoughts on my dilemma.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Hello! I encourage you to find someone that works with trauma (anger can be a symptom of trauma). I am so sorry you are carrying the weight of your mother's abuse. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson is a good resource. Also, Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward.

[@susannahfox7188]

@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc Thank you for the suggestions. I just realized something last night, looking at someone's Tik Tok......the Tik Tokker was talking about narcs who will agitate you until you become angry, and then throw it in your face about how you are angry, as a strategy to nullify you further. This is exactly what is happening to me now, as I live near a person who is doing that exact strategy. I have had to cut contact with this person off, (who also is a long term alcoholic btw) entirely, as it seems there is no way that continued contact does not lead to these crazy, volcanic anger provoking situations - her demons are attacking me. So, having more insight into this now, I see it as a brush fire, that needed attending. It infuriates me that these people can come to you as sheep in wolves clothing, they seem to want connection, or in my situation, the circumstances dictate that I am in close quarters at time with an alcoholic, who is also acting narcissisticly, which is very triggering for me. Sounds like an Al-Anon issue......the main problem I have with 12 step groups is that they are founded from ideas from Aleister Crowley......a satanist - "as above, so below." They do not allow you to talk about Jesus in those meetings. The only one who can really heal you......if you have any books to recommend that include a Christian perspective, that would be appreciated too. Shalom

[@Greenawareness188]

​@@susannahfox7188. You are not alone. You are courageous to look within. I can see your strength. Processing your anger will take time. I believe you can begin when you are ready!

[@suir1828]

I am dealing with the anger too about my narcisstic parents and Society, who did not help me at all.

[@Greenawareness188]

Thank you ma'am, I appreciate your videos. They are honest and calm. Trying to unpack what went wrong with your childhood at age 60 is confusing . I have caused a lot of people in my life to suffer because of my disregulated emotional reactions. I want to be free to forgive. I want to learn to value myself.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thank you for watching!

[@baymuscle97]

Thank you so much for posting this video! Several months ago, my wife mentioned to me that I might have a narcissistic mother and I have been watching a lot of KZbin videos to see if that is true. Unfortunately, it is and I am devastated but grateful that I now accept the truth so I can proactively do the necessary steps towards healing from the emotional abuse that I endured in the past. I am assured that with support from my spouse, friends, similar videos like this one and my faith in God that I will heal from these wounds and thrive.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

You’re so welcome!! Thanks for watching :)

[@santhosantho1]

Thank you so much for this! This is giving a hope 🙏❤

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

You are so welcome

[@outdoorswalker3744]

Finding a therapist is difficult. I have tired. This one does not take my insurance, that one is not taking patients. The ones left seem to not align with me. Am I too picky? But if I get someone I do not connect with how will that help, just more frustration. You tube videos are all I got right now

[@gigigirl79]

I do have a general one, but would really like to find one that specializes in recovery from narcissist abuse.

[@sandrab2589]

I agree, finding a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist is very difficult and the searching by trial and error is also expensive! I struggle with just being believed. Narcissists are so adept at perfecting their public image and people cannot believe that what went on at home is so different. The KZbin community of fellow victims of narcissistic parents has been most helpful to me.

[@angel4re]

I love your videos. I find them so very helpful and appreciate the knowledge you share. I have a situation where I was the scapegoat in my family. I guess all I have to say is my mother is a narcissist as is the golden child. Unfortunately, I ended up being mothers caretaker. Yup, she lives with me… can I heal at all while she’s here? I’d love you to make a video and help those of us in this type of situation. Thank you for shedding some light on the healing process.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks for watching! I believe you can heal (even though it is more difficult). It will require firm emotional boundaries and detachment so she no longer has so much power over you. A strong support system and self-care is essential as well. I will do a video on this topic in the future. I appreciate the suggestion!

[@angel4re]

@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc that’s hopeful!!!! Thank you again. Hoping the video will be sooner rather than later!!!!! 💕

[@romaineknepp6620]

I am so thankful to have found your channel.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Me too! Thanks for watching.

[@thAvenueCollective]

Thank you! Very helpful!

[@joanebel5207]

Very helpful. Thank you.

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thanks for watching!

[@stephenatkinson2333]

Thank you.

[@MaryUhlig-xy3wu]

What are some signs that a client is ready to distance themself from a narcissistic parent?

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

I think that if you have tried to establish boundaries with the narcissistic parent and they continue to violate those boundaries it may be time to distance yourself from them. It certainly becomes more complicated if you are a caregiver to them. If physical distance isn't feasible, then creating emotional distance - or emotionally detaching in a healthy way - is necessary.

[@dawnrobbins5877]

Thank you for your guidance. ❤ New subscriber here!

[@rebeccajohnsonlmhc]

Thank you :)

[@libertycan6959]

🙏🌷