Being A Mother In The Shiny Happy People Cult | Friends With Davey - Christine Faour

The Shiny Happy People documentary told the stories of thousands of people who grew up in the oppressive and abusive environment of Bill Gothard's IBLP cult.
Former cult members, Davey Jackson and Brice, talk to Christine Faour about her unique experience being a mother and raising her children in the Shiny Happy People cult.
"Shiny Happy People" is Prime Video's #1 documentary, taking an in-depth look at the dark history of the Duggar Family (TLC's "19 Kids And Counting") and one of the most mysterious cults in America.
Learn more about Christine's journey by reading her book, "Behind The Dress" available on Amazon.
Follow Christine on social media:
FB - Christine Faour
IG - @christinefaour
Listen to Davey Jackson and Producer Josh, livestreaming with a new friend every Wednesday at 8:00PM CST.
Podcast audio available on Spotify, iTunes, and all streaming platforms.

[@lf5802]

I really appreciate the way she handled the situation with the paddle. It makes such a difference to pause and realize the impact those ideas and systems have on kids. She could have gaslighted and said "oh, if wasn't that bad" but, she didn't. She paused and owned it and apologized. I wish my parents could have that reaction when I tell them of harmful things done when we were kids due to religion.

[@derickrae]

The paddle burning! My adult son came to my husband and I and asked if we could remove spanking as a disciplinary option. My husband called the whole family to the living room for a ceremonial burning of the paddle in the fireplace. I have never been so proud of my husband. I know that very few men can take that kind of criticism.

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

Wow that is a real man right there! That takes a lot of humility and courage.

[@derickrae]

It does. I work with teen moms today & I tell them, when they ask, to find a man who understands the power of humility. @@MyMerryMessyGermanLife

[@liseklerekoper2441]

Even w/ infidelity, the IBLP doctrine still blames the wife & requires her to forgive, forget, & put MORE time & effort in to pleasing the husband & meeting his needs. This cult is madness & misogyny initially wrapped up in a pretty package.

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

The patriarchy is so horrible. Rules created by men to benefit only men. It’s getting better but man, we do still have a lot of work to do. I mean, it’s brilliant, really. They created rules to blame all of their bad behavior on women so they could never take accountability. R@pe culture starts right there.

[@michelldell319]

I was in a kind of cult, mine was, LDS. And I hurt my children to. You say you are afraid of parts of the church. I tell everyone, I believe in GOD, I don't believe in church or religion. If I was looking to give money away, I like donating my time at the soup kitchens. I'm starting to like people again

[@christinefaour6837]

❤

[@LaLaLonna]

I really appreciate that Christine recognizes the damage that was done to her kids and she accepts and applogizes for it. Thats can be a hard thing to do and it shows her wonderful character. She is also a beautiful woman to this day, i hate that she implied she lost her beauty, she definitely still has it. Shes beautiful inside and out.

[@liseklerekoper2441]

Another excellent video on the IBLP cult, & so interesting to hear from a mom & the ATI home school program. So happy for this woman that she chose herself & got out of her marriage & this destructive cult. The fact that girls & women are blamed for the thoughts, feelings & behavior of boys & men is sickening.

[@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778]

And that woman-blaming cr@p is a big part of many religions and cults. Meanwhile the men are seen as out-of-control animals who have no responsibility for their thoughts and actions. It’s horrible and absurd. It drives. Me. Crazy.

[@jenniferbrower]

It’s pervasive throughout western culture.

[@alshirley3444]

I am in love with Christine’s light Newfie/Scotia accent. It’s great to hear a Mum’s perspective of the shiny happy people.

[@Mel-pb5xw]

It won’t let me edit🤷🏻‍♀️ but I goofed…it’s on Apple TV NOT Amazon

[@ameewishes9126]

I’m a newfie and I noticed and loved this too!!

[@jenniferbrower]

My family came to Canada as fille du roi and were Quebecois. It sounds like home lol.

[@MrBrunoUSA]

"I do not deserve any better" is a common thought/ belief among abuse survivors.

[@stillmagic714]

There was something in the water in 2003/2004 because that's when my family started getting out of our "totally not a cult". I'm so glad you were able to heal your relationship with your kids.

[@katwitanruna]

Break the silence. Break the cycle.

[@daveyjaxx]

Thank you as always 🙏🏻❤️

[@celiapolman5618]

I keep seeing your comment on a bunch of channels I follow… such dedication 😊 and so true, the more people talk about systems of abuse, the quicker they fall.

[@katwitanruna]

@@celiapolman5618 I just comment on folx I follow or catch and think might be interesting. This became my catchphrase during the early 80s when I first used it in a speech on CSA in college and had an anonymous critique saying “thank you. I thought I was the only one” Having helped one person, I figure it’s the Christlike thing to keep saying it in case it helps someone else.

[@abigailjupiter374]

Fuck yeah!!!!!!!! ✊🏽

[@gowest5145]

None of these people are breaking the cycle, all of them are still in it. All these Duggars making money off this is disgusting.

[@aislynseither5882]

I never realized how close I was to being fully in a cult until I watched SHP. Instantly I started seeing where these beliefs have harmed my own mother so much!!! I've been trying so hard to see where she has come from. Where did all of her fears, self doubt, and self-abasement come from? I don't know why I've been obsessed with figuring out why my mother has such low self-esteem but it's come to my attention within the last couple years but she just thinks horribly of herself. Thank you for giving me one more piece of her puzzle.

[@gowest5145]

She is probably in a church.

[@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778]

“Coordinators” coming over to MY house to tell me how to raise MY babies? I don’t think so! “Them’s fightin’ words!” What an invasion of privacy!

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

Can we say Fascism? Dictatorship? Just awful.

[@jenniferbrower]

It’s like the frog in a the boiling water story. It happens slowly over time until all of a sudden you’re cooked.

[@luannnelson547]

I went to one of these seminars in Atlanta in the 1970s or early 1980s, and decided after a couple of hours that these people were morons - Gothard told some story about how he figured out some guy’s mental illness by diagnosing him (from a distance) with tooth decay. All these people sitting around nodding solemnly at Gothard’s great wisdom; I looked at the friends with me who were at equal eye-rolling stage and we silently agreed that this was the stupidest bunch of people we had ever seen.

[@laurenm.6320]

I’m so fascinated by the absolute pull of characters like Gothard and how people see such charisma where I get the creeps by that type of person, the leaders of cults of personality. There is another very famous person who also has that same perplexing pull on people where I just see charlatan right away and hear loud mental alarm bells of distrust. To be clear, I have my own blind spots as a human, obviously. I’m just innately distrustful of charisma and loud self-proclaimed experts.

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

Yes it’s so fascinating because Gothard never married and never had kids. What?!? Absolutely crazy anyone ever listened to a word he said.

[@boomersnflyers5520]

In the early 90s, as a new homeschooling mother, I had friends in ATI and IBLP. When I asked about their curriculum, they were evasive, but gave me information on how to apply. I remember the application being lengthy and quite stringent. The biggest factor of trashing the application being that as a Christian, I knew we did not answer to any man here on earth nor his doctrine. The lesser reasons were the TV, facial hair, and having to make time and have finances to travel for training. My friends were not even allowed to share a copy of a wisdom book so I could decide if it was "curriculum" I'd be interested in buying.

[@CrazyCrystal8175]

My whole family (Mother, Father, Grandparents 2 Aunts, 2 uncles, and 6 cousins all moved in 1980 to SC with the specific reason to go to school at Bob Jones University. I began 4k and continued all the way through highschool. A few of my other family members went all the way through the University. This woman is telling the stories of MANY!

[@aripinkberry1810]

It’s crazy to me how clearly Christine is stating that her husband left her while they were still in ATI, yet people like Michelle Duggar would claim that if he left well then she must’ve not been doing something right.

[@diannamacintire]

Sad😢

[@sandyschneider6792]

I went from Catholic to Pentecostal also. Now neither & NEVER Bill Gothard!!🤪😫🤯

[@gowest5145]

​@@sandyschneider6792That is because all of them are fake.

[@jaimeoh8146]

Thank you so much for this. I need to read your book and apologize to my children for raising them in such a fundamentalist manner. It’s nice to hear from the perspective of a mom.

[@gaiagreen2690]

Me too. Only I have already appologized a zillion times and each time I have been forgiven, but when I see my daughter constantly suffer due to her lack of self esteem, her self doubts, anxiety and other issues created by her fundamentalist upbringing, the pain and the guilt literally tear me apart. And they always will. And I think that, since I failed to protect her when she was little, I deserve that pain now.

[@womenfrom0202]

Thank you for your courage in acknowledging it all

[@texaspatty4697]

​@@gaiagreen2690This seems like a viscous circle. The girls have poor self esteem. The mother learns why, and sincerely apologizes. The daughters forgive her but can't shake the ideas they acquired in the cult. And the mother kicks herself every day for her failures. It seems like they all are victims of the cult. This is tough. I think counseling could help, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps you focus on what is true. What could be more Christian than that?

[@lindasoderberg9477]

It's good to hear this from a parent's perspective after realizing the lack ng term effects of their mistakes as parents.

[@daveyjaxx]

Christine was so open and honest about her experience and I hope a lot of people hear her story that need to 🙏🏻❤️

[@angelacantrell1639]

​@@daveyjaxx🤣

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

I really love that you’re getting the women’s experience, and moms’ experience. You really see how Gothard created a cult just to justify the patriarchy and child abuse. The thing is, many churches are still believing and teaching many of the things that are in this cult. And they think they’re okay because it’s not part of the cult…that’s what so dangerous!

[@CrazyCrystal8175]

SHAME IS ATTACHED WHEN DIGNITY AND SELF WORTH/ESTEEM ARE STRIPPED😢💔

[@vidhead85]

Wow, I am stymied at how this alternate world is just destroying so many people and their lives. Thank you Christine for telling your story. I knew how it affected kids and especially the young girls as they grow up. I never heard this story from someone who hadn't grown up in it. Thanks a lot!

[@KNosk826]

How fortunate - and no doubt healing for many- to hear this perspective. And from a Newfoundlander no less! They're the best story tellers and our country would be poorer without them. She's an absolute gem. Thanks for having her on ❤

[@user-lm6jh4yr6n]

It’s so interesting to hear how she feels about church after being in such rigid religion. I feel the same - I’m still a Christian but I can’t stand the thought of consistently going to church.

[@lesawiliams5335]

Life was so, so hard! Our 5th was severely handicapped, then had seven more kids!

[@lizcollins7716]

And you've survived! You deserve some happiness. I wish you well.

[@subbae117]

I never realized my parents ascribed to a lot of the IBLP teachings until I watched the SHP doc on Amazon. And then I found you and your podcasts, and it’s helping me get through my deconstruction and helping me deal with the trauma. I was married off at 17 and will be divorced this Sept. I have 9 beautiful babies that I had to leave behind with their dad. Listening to your videos helps SO much, so thank you for putting this out there!! ❤

[@AuntieNise]

Good luck to you ❤

[@Lovecoffe506]

You are a fighter. It is so good that you are making this choice. Just that action gives hope that your children will get to be free in the future ❤❤❤❤

[@powderandpaint14]

You do not have to leave your children with your ex, you have a legal right to atleast shared custody. There are people who will help you with legal fees so please look into it.

[@gowest5145]

This world I'd difficult now. Set your affections on things above. Focus on Jesus.

[@carolynrobe5957]

What kind of divorce lawyer do you have? Must be a strange one.

[@girlygirl1890]

I've never been in a Cult, and I do not know anyone who has personally experienced one, but*********** I LOVE THIS LADY******* She is an absolute Gem. When she was going through her years in the cult, she always KNEW it was wrong. She spoke against things to her husband, but her words were ignored. Very intelligent woman and she expresses her thoughts very well. So glad for her that those days are behind her and she is living a completely different life. SHE IS AWESOME!!!!!!! Blessings to ALL, including the Podcasters who have gone through this. This was such an ENLIGHTENING, INFORMATIVE, and EDUCATIONAL interview so thank you to all of you for sharing this with us.

[@ninaschultz6922]

Brice ❤ I wish for Brice from the bottom of my heart, that one day his parents may ask him in what ways they hurt him, and that they will say they understand his pain and respect his emotions, and how sorry they are ❤ idle wish, maybe I wish my mom could say sorry, too, for me it was no contact or suicide a few years back. With no contact, I am now happier than I have ever been. I never knew I would one day be able to wake up with a smile on my face every day and be happy. Before, I had been fighting depression and anxiety all my life, I had a lot of therapy which never really helped, it was very difficult. It is so good to hear Christine talk this way about her children and to think about their beautiful relationships, it is touching me deeply ❤ very healing 😊

[@abigail9791]

Her humility is impressive! Amazing and touching that she is willing to acknowkedge and apologize.

[@staybent9380]

I have collected a few of those red folders, my step dad was a devotee of basic life in Seattle circa 1980’s. The expectations from those teachings were worse than the abuse I suffered in the evangelical churches we attended. Thanks for this, I’ve accepted my parents’ involvement in this, they were doing what “god” directed but it’s hard. I have literally run away to Australia to get away! I am still here 30 years later and don’t dwell on the Misery of my past but it’s always there.

[@patriciaschultz3005]

Thank you Christine. Your honesty and vulnerability are amazing. It’s hard to live with the guilt of having been such a poor parent because of these teachings. And all I can say is I hope my offspring find a way to heal and finally live true happy lives. What’s wonderful is you have helped me find better language for the apologies they are owed. Bless you and all who gave you a platform to speak out. You book is in my Amazon basket already.

[@reflectingqueen]

being divorced and having been a member of a protestant church in the Netherlands, I recognize a lot of what Christine mentioned! A surprise to me ,actually. F.i. my exes family never wanted to hear my part of the story and believe him blindly, according to my ex sister in law, because he is her brother. She divorced twice, but is accepted back again. Even my children are treated differently, f.i. where the inheritance is concerned, from the grandparents, my ex parents in law....who were born in the twenties of last century.....so yes, those crazy ideas still linger on well into the 21st century! Such hypocrites as well....affairs, incest and what have you....thanks Christine and thanks guys for putting it in perspective , like: no more organized religion for me....

[@janishuey3639]

What a great interview! Christine is very well-spoken and I know she’ll sell even more copies of her book. I think she’s correct that just writing about your experiences is cathartic. That she is helping other people is a bonus. Thank you Davey and Brice.

[@katiempojer]

She is highly educated

[@gowest5145]

It is all about the money they can make off TV and books

[@Junebugreen]

The only people who think the 60s and 70s were a period of debauchery were people in cults. Stuff was overall somewhat tame.

[@Quantum_Idealism]

I loved this one so much. Christine is so self aware and mature for a Shiny happy people mother.

[@lavenderbluemama953]

Thanks Davey, Brice, & Christine. It was great to hear this perspective & I ordered the book. I feel like I am in self-induced IBLP/Southern Baptist immersion therapy right now, trying to track down how the teachings influenced my already abusive parents. I understand the aversion to certain hymns, scriptures, etc. When religious teachings & ceremonies are intertwined with your abuse, it is very difficult to disentangle the two. As a child, I mistook the voices of church people, some evil & some well-meaning, as the voice of God. Since the age of three I was surrounded by those who told me what God expected of me, to the point that I couldn't even hear my own voice, much less God's. It is impossible for me now at 53, to "find God" in a church. I have absolutely no trust in people who claim to know God's will. (Like Brice says, "I've served my time.") As I've commented before, if God wishes to speak to me He knows right where I am. (Just a heads up, God: If you wish to contact me via burning bush, please consider the Crepe Myrtle shrub near the shed. It's already a lost cause & the other one is growing like mad. Also if you'd like to disintegrate our Box Elder Bug mulch infestation in the process, have at it. Peace out.)

[@lesawiliams5335]

There’s a recovery group for ATI parents? We were in ATI for over 15 years and had 12 kids. Unbelievable pressure, inadequacies! It was extremely difficult!

[@daveyjaxx]

Omg so glad y’all made it out ❤️❤️

[@ezbody]

Please share your story if you can (if you feel comfortable). The more people speak out, the more people will realize that they can (and should) leave.

[@liseklerekoper2441]

Yes, as Recovering Grace helps anyone who survived this cult. I hope you Google it, familiarize yourself w/ the site & stories shared, & then connect w/ others who had similar experiences as a woman & mother in this cult.🫶

[@erpthompsonqueen9130]

Thank you. Watching from Alaska. Had to leave my whole family behind when I escaped as soon as I was legal aged. It was1970 Early on in the Gothard saga.

[@Nkkdawson]

I was raised in the IBLP and FIIFB, Vision Forum. I shook Bill Gothards hand. I would have become one of Gothards girls but thank the Lord things got in the way. But there is so so much more to my story. There was abuse but the men have all the control and are above the law. I left many years ago, but it took years to heal from all the trauma.

[@itsemeinin]

Thank you for this. I was not involved in ATI, but i did a lot of the same things she said, including following the Pearl’s and “disciplining” (meaning punishing) my kids instead of loving them and finding ways to work with them and not against them. I’ve apologized too, but it is so hard knowing the things i taught and forced upon them.

[@chrisharris9643]

There is quite a bit that I identify with in the conservative , evangelical thinking....but there are 2 things that make me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never have joined this cult...... 1. I'm not anyone's doormat and 2. Kids are not anyone's punching bag. I could not and would not hurt a kid the way the pearls and Gothard try to compel their people to do. The whole " discipline " thing that they champion disgusts me

[@powderandpaint14]

It's abuse, there's no other word for it.

[@andreaarias2085]

I attended the Institute of Basic Youth Conflicts when I was a young adult. The teachings were encouraged by those who were discipling young adults in the church. The teachings do not guarantee success for families!

[@EstherLTurner]

Thank you Christine for sharing this. It was very helpful to me as I admit to being horribly judgmental about how any woman could be a part of this organization and how any mother could ever agree to hurt their children. I praise God that you got out - even though it was painful to you, bring free is a great reward. It was also nice listening to you - as a fellow Nova Scotian, I recognized that Newfoundland accent immediately. I wish you every happiness.

[@christinefaour6837]

Esther, thank you so much- haha I did't think my accent came through, but I guess it did.

[@randyholloway920]

“I praise God..”. So you’re still in a cult. If you weren’t then you would know there is no such thing. It’s all BS.

[@sherip9854]

Just ordered the book. Gotta support my fellow Canadian. 🍁 Thanks for this interview.

[@daveyjaxx]

Thank you so much for supporting and sharing your story in the chat! 🙏🏻❤️

[@christinefaour6837]

Thank you!

[@mienafriggstad3360]

👏 me too; 🙋‍♀️ Hi from Saskatchewan

[@Mercillville]

These family coordinators were the exception. Most of us young people knew better than to disrespect someone older than us.

[@mienafriggstad3360]

🙋‍♀️ Hi from Saskatchewan 🇨🇦. I had neighbors in the IBLP in Saskatoon Saskatchewan 🇨🇦 in the early 80s. I was 6 ish. I had to wear a skirt or dress with tights underneath; inro homes (2 sisters and their families) if I wanted to play with their children. I grew up IBLP adjacent; ACE school; getting paddled in school and at home 🤦‍♀️. Thankfully I moved to British Columbia 🇨🇦 in 1990 that ACE school didn't paddle; my stepdad and mom stopped paddling me when I was 16. I graduated from that ACE school in 1994. So I'm about the same age as Christine's oldest. FYI I'm a strong and kinder christian now; then I was then 🙏

[@randyholloway920]

To be clear, if you are still identifying as a “christian,” then you are still in a cult. Maybe. not as severe, but it’s still based on mind control.

[@deannabaker9898]

Been there.... got a t-shirt (and skirts). Our family served at 2 training centers. Left in the middle of the night.

[@Mel.H_]

This was an awesome interview. Thank you Christine!❤

[@rroadmap]

Please consider making the exit video the same volume as the interview. I listen to these videos at night and it starts blasting unexpectedly and can wake up others who were sleeping fine with the low conversation.

[@deborahbarry8458]

As a Canadian, i melted into her accent. 💛

[@cblazgoogle3844]

What a DELIGHTFUL person Christine is👍👍👍 good luck to her on her journey👍

[@christinefaour6837]

Thank you- all the best to you as well

[@allydecoste4281]

Im sooo happy you got out...i think your an amazing strong women..and have soo much respect for how you handled your husband and the situation From one East Coaster to another! Im also in Nova Scotia and watch Davey and friends all the time. I was never expecting to hear a story from an ex member of this cult over here on the East Coast of Canada..i must read your book now. I think what you are doing now is amazing along with Davey ,Bryce & Lindsay. I watch and listen to be educated on high demand Religions/ Cults. Most of it just blows my mind. Anyhoo...thanks so much for sharing! ❤

[@joyceinman9389]

Never in IBLP cult but in a n independent fundamental church. Still have bad dreams on a regular basis about our family being constantly judged, and this was 20 years ago. I hate that this junk still messes with my mind. I have apologized to my children for this time in our lives.

[@paigebecker6446]

This was such a great interview. Thank you!

[@jac9366]

Nothing shallow about going to church because you love the people, however I'm sure with time you'll find you can love them without needing to go to a church and there are so many more people to love beyond church going types who also can reciprocate without involving God.... it just takes time to reciver and time to develop perspective.... so glad for you have a good relationship with your children and I'm sure your experience and witness will help many others find a better way forward 😊

[@BethP-pl9nc]

Thank you for sharing Christine. It does help to see everyone's perspective.

[@SHAVEYSGIRL]

I'm so glad to hear you say you still consider yourself a Christian.

[@thesmiths629]

I'm so sorry to hear how oppressed and controlled some women have been, but glad to finally understand why it seems to trigger women specifically when I choose to dress in a similar modest style. For me it's a free choice, comfort and functional, while beautifully feminine. I like to not be concerned about how my body looks in public by knowing it's kept private. I show no more of my body when swimming than I choose to any other time I'm in public. I enjoy my long hair, but practically it's too long to be left down while doing farm/house chores and a bun is a great way to protectively style my hair during the day. I get compliments, comments, questions, and accusations all on how I look, but I feel comfortable, and confident. I hate pants. And I love the freedom of not wearing restrictive clothing anymore. I love not being worried about a bad hairday when I can twist up a bun and put on a wide headband to hide my frizz. Though people commonly think I intend it as a religious headcovering, it's really just a lazy "hair" covering.

[@DizzyME13]

I loved this interview, she is such a strong woman! ✌️

[@christymarsh3363]

My mom talked about how in the early years on the ATI application my parents had to have THEIR parents permission/ blessings for us to join! 🤯

[@delilahhart4398]

I wonder if anyone has ever told off the "family coordinators" for telling them how to parent their own children.

[@cheryl_texacana3999]

I love Christine!! It was fun hearing all her adventures all across Canada being a Canadian myself but living in Texas

[@christinefaour6837]

❤

[@delilahhart4398]

I'm trying to understand the appeal of the IBLP and ATI, but I just can't understand why someone would allow other people to tell them how to live. This woman was a schoolteacher before she joined, so she was educated. How can someone who's well-educated and intelligent can fall for it all.

[@aurea.]

I can't speak for her, but in a lot of cases it's not about how smart or educated a person is, it's about how vulnerable they are. That vulnerability can open one up to things and people they otherwise wouldn't consider.

[@rondellthreadgate8092]

Look at the GOP, a lot of them are lawyers, they got sucked in also, Trump is the ultimate manipulating conman, as are the get rich quick televangelist “ preachers “

[@deborahborne4861]

Christine I have a tip for you regarding reading the Bible. Try a completely different translation than the one used when you were in the cult. This may allow you to experience God's word in a fresh way without some of those memory triggers. It is working for me. Blessings

[@AngryPug76]

Or even better, read holy texts from other religions and faiths. There are far more than that one path.

[@christymarsh3363]

I have found the Mirror Bible to help me recover from spiritual abuse from ATI but I still struggle with certain passages such as the sermon on the mount...

[@randyholloway920]

There’s no such thing as god or Christ. It’s all made up. Do you even know what the Bible actually is? It’s political book. Put together to help Romans control their empire by forcing the people they Concorde to give up their pagan religions. This, if you control what people think, you can control them. The church became an arm of the state. Learn people, learn it’s good for you!

[@richardsnow2838]

Humility is such a wonderful option and as a parent I’ve found it works much better than prideful foolishness

[@pattymcquaid5495]

Thank you Davey. Keep up the great work. Love you!❤

[@beckybishop2801]

I know of a family who bought this hook line and sinker. The parents were immigrants from Communist Romainia so bought into the control thing - it was familiar. Of the eight kids only two are following the Lord. The mom died of cancer. Dad remarried and moved back to the homeland. Very, very sad.

[@Marigold776]

I found it really hard to hear her describe so flippantly about the rod breaking easily and going out to buy a paddle.

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

Yes- chilling. 😵‍💫

[@lorisampel9320]

Very interesting. So nice to hear a little humor after the storms

[@iw9338]

Excellent, thanks very much for sharing. ❤

[@Joanna-hq2el]

Love this I just bought the book and requested to follow on insta. Such an inspiration! And I feel it’s not shallow at all to go to church for the people! I find it incredibly humble to just be interested in human connection and not some sort of glory and such. Not that ppl who go for God aren’t humble I’m just saying.

[@taraderosa2969]

Amazing, amazing work. You are incredibly talented!

[@Himmiefan]

One thought I had over and over while listening to this is that all of this has nothing to do with the teachings of Christ. You could even say that they thought that they were Christians but really weren't since they had been deceived into accepting teachings that had nothing to do with Christ. In fact, so much of evangelicalism or conservative religion in general has nothing to do with the teachings of Christ.

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

That’s so true. Christians have long acted very un-Christlike. It’s a tragedy, really, because Jesus was a true renegade. He did things that were radical back then, but radical in love. Radical love would heal and change so much. But instead, all we ever hear about is their radical political beliefs and radical bigotry against people who don’t think and live like them.

[@Kristenm28]

This was great, thank you!

[@GroovlyDo]

Maybe initially not accepting someone's application makes joining more desirable, a psychological manipulation. Why is religion (any religion) given a free pass to do the most horrific things without question?

[@katiempojer]

OMG i just read her book, it was recommend to me on Kindle fabulous read!

[@whitneyrivero5365]

All that damage done to so many kids and families by weak parents with no backbone or ability to think critically or research. My mom was this same way, brought us up the same. I am still so affevted by the isolation, homeschool, religious abuse etc.

[@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778]

I loved the modest-swimsuit fashion critique at the end!!!!😅

[@terrilowe3530]

So insightful and helpful to me!

[@jenj181]

I believe JB and michelle spent many many hours getting Michelle's facial muscles to memorize how to make a smile look authentic... even tho its fake but looks real.

[@DimaRakesah]

I also had never heard of this application process! I didn't know people had to agree to a bunch of life changes just to get the curriculum. That's wild!

[@christymarsh3363]

Wish I could hear her words from my parents but its healing to hear a survivor mom share ❤️‍🩹

[@renmuffett]

Wow. I was 19 in 1973 and have never even heard of that cult. 😮

[@delilahhart4398]

I don't understand the rules forbidding men to have facial hair or long hair. Didn't Jesus supposedly have both facial hair and long hair?

[@melissahodgson1958]

I wanna see what my parents signed, if they signed anything. I knew the TV had to be removed, dress codes, etc. Anyone have the stuff from about 1985-1990?

[@madlnmade]

What an incredible woman, so much respect.

[@colleenroyle588]

How do you not know showing an abuse victim a paddle is like bringing back a nightmare..” oh I’m sorry, it’s not funny”..GMAB

[@MennoNoMoreAmbulanceGirl]

We had to wear full cape dresses to swim if we were in public. We found some water proof fabric at Walmart that at at least didn’t absorb water

[@rhondamerritt928]

Thank you😊

[@sandrametcalfe7483]

I think people forget that we can’t control the universe. We can’t make our children into something they are not. Our children will grow into what they choose. God gave us free will. I think it’s wrong to force your will onto another person. Jesus never forced people to follow him. Bill Gothard has created his own form of Christianity. He has made himself God.

[@CynthiaForlines]

Was 19 and went to Basic Life Seminar in early 70's. In the early 90's had 4 school aged children decided to home school and came across the IBLP curriculum and started attending a church that used the curriculum in the church run school. Parents brought the children to the day school and were expected to teach. I taught 4th 5th grade English. What a joke...Did such a poor job. I was overwhelmed. I had a 3 year old a second grader, 4th, and 6 graders. All boys. The 3 year old had to sit in the pastors office while I taught a class. I believe we were the only school approved by Gothard to use the curriculum. Extremely legalistic and judgmental church in which you never felt you measured up. After a couple years, we moved from California to a Midwestern state and found another "Gothard" Church even more Legalistic and judgmental than the last. I used the curriculum at home. My sons were 5- 14. The older boys wouldn't cooperate, wouldn't study. We attended the Knoxville summer gatherings. They went to Indianapolis for training .The older sons saw through the hypocrisy but were labeled "rebellious"..whole program was supposed to be a family lifestyle...both parents participating with a strong father leadership....not in our household, I was in it basically alone. Husband attended church and church functions but was mostly absent. I was attracted to the legalistic churches because I knew something was wrong in my marriage. My husband's behavior.. Workaholic and emotionaly unavailable..nonpersonal very damaging. I thought the legalistic pastor and men of the church would bring some accountability to my husband to be the Godly husband as presented in the Bible. Unfortunately the programs and Churches we attended only damaged us... trying to live the Christian life by works and be perfect..this Damaged the kids, 😢 Turns out my husband has Asperger’s. He's on the spectrum. Nothing was ever going to make our family life normal. It all makes sense now. But we are all extremely damaged. Except husband....he's in his own world.

[@Persida_]

Interesting. Love hearing a fellow Newfoundlander talk.

[@christinefaour6837]

❤

[@kimberleypatty2604]

Since you brought up the swimsuits, 😂, we weren’t allowed to swim in mixed company. IYKYK

[@realhealthrealwealth]

That was 25+ years of Hell. If ya don't think you are in a CULT look again.

[@daveyjaxx]

Absolutely a cult and if people can’t admit that now they’re just destined to live in denial

[@ezbody]

The sad thing is that it's by far not the only Christian cult, there are probably hundreds of them, wearing a mask of sanity. Even if they are not considered full fledged cults, but something as seemingly innocent as forbidding to read books or watch TV can cause a long lasting damage, i.e. keeping people/children ignorant (which is a control tool) is one of the forms of abuse that cults use.

[@liseklerekoper2441]

Yep, just like almost all the Duggars. Just look at Anna Duggar … still devoted & submissive to her husband, Josh, despite massive infidelity & him being a pedo & convicted for downloading CSAM. Anna chose & continues to choose Josh over protecting her own 7 kids.

[@herewegokids7]

​@@daveyjaxxI really felt that when she said "I used to be HOT! And I wasted my good years in that nonsense" Myself, I've recently realized that the years age 25-50 for me may as well not have existed in terms of self development. Yes I had 7 beautiful children. My ex got two masters degrees. I got auto immune disease, constant postpartum and suicidal ideation. Sweet.

[@Dulcimertunes]

Past time to end IBLP😡

[@jerisharpe906]

Don't any of these people have any common sense, why can't they think for themselves? I have always questioned authority ever since I was a very little girl. Just because soneone told me I was stupid, I may not have stated it but in my mind I literally thought "You can go to hell."

[@louhortonsculpture]

What’s some of these scriptures that don’t match up? I’m really interested in this! This is so important. Gothard didn’t start this mess and his downfall isn’t the end of it. These beliefs are widely held in general. Oh I’m not surprised at all they told you to lie at the border!!! They and many fundies have no respect for the government. They basically think they can “fair game” the government just like Scientology will “fair game” their enemies. They completely ignore that “give Caesar his due” lesson.

[@loveycat5474]

My father attended the ATI one time and then he did not attend anymore seminars including basic and now I know why. He must of not like all the rules that are not found in the Bible.

[@user-bn7bk5mw4s]

Well they whipped us in public school in the 80s with the paddle. Elementary school! We were not of that religion but my mother brought the home paddle to the principal to whip me when i was bad. Thank God things changed

[@michellebatchelder]

The only thing I have negative to say is I got mono as a 5th grade girl who never kissed anyone 😂 ...thank you all for sharing your stories. I grew up cult adjacent/fundie light of sorts

[@Mel-pb5xw]

Yep, while it’s often referred to as the “kissing disease” in reality it’s a virus that can spread in a myriad of ways.