Being Becca LIVE (12/1): Let's Talk Autism & the Struggles of Alexithymia...

[@leslieiannottacronin2176]

My daughters Life Coach mentioned this term. I’m just beginning to understand this. It’s interesting that there is sometimes delayed reactions or emotions that come out later.

[@BeccaLoryHector]

It can be very confusing!

[@chairninja]

I love you ... I will never ask you to smile 🤗💜 My Great Grandmother my best friend died when I was 5. I didn't cry about it until I was 7. I have never remembered when people die. I find it so weird that people know the date and then grieve them on that day. I grieve through time dates have no meaning to that. Until 2020 when my father died, my only parent that genuinely loved me. The day is seared on my mind... he was trapped in a nursing home, I was trapped in US thousands of miles away 😢 I always thought this inability to feel was just me 😮 ☺️ Anger... lol my husband jokes I'm like The Hulk, he's not wrong nobody likes me when I'm angry.... Not even me 😂 I'm both hypersensitive and hyposensitive to emotion. My MO is to suppress strong emotion as I was emotionally abused as a child. I also don't feel in the moment like it's not switched on I recognize what I should be feeling but it's not in my body just my head. Then later my head will release it and I will feel it or repress. Been working hard in therapy for 3 years now to overcome the suppression trauma reaction. I'm self ID autistic and I'm thrilled to be me as I am. No more wondering what thee f is wrong with me, I'm fine my brain is wired different none of it was my fault I can be free authentic autistic me. Love💜Peace✌️Truth

[@BeccaLoryHector]

It feels so amazing to not be alone on this ride. Easier now that I understand but still a major trip. Thank you for sharing the journey with me 😊

[@laurakurkowski4413]

Whoa! I experience this in 2 ways. Definitely the delayed emotions. When I have to “be on” in the NT world, I can shovel it all below the surface and it then bursts up later. An ex used to ask why Saturdays were always so bad for me and it was the bursting of feelings suppressed from the week of corporate office life. But I also experience the inability to articulate or identify the emotions. Realizing now all those times in therapy being asked, “But how did you FEEL?” and not having words for it. As I start to take time and apply terms to these emotions, I can’t help but question am I making a translation deck that is genuine or just something that helps NTs understand. Yay!

[@BeccaLoryHector]

Yes!!!!!! I ask that exact question!!!

[@michellebaughman4632]

Is “missing” an emotion? It sounds like that is what you are describing. I have done the random crying thing too. It is very frustrating when/if people see me crying and they demand to know why am crying because I don’t know what to say.

[@BeccaLoryHector]

Ugh I hear you. Its challenging to describe to others especially as we are in the middle of it! 💚