Being Disabled In School [CC]

[@katedann8377]

omg, the stabbing you with protracter thing happened to me, but it was a metal ruler that someone found in the metal workshop at my school. Yeah, so I'd paralysed both my hips because I went rollerblading and smashed into a tree. I was in a wheelchair and people tried to catch me out and this person came up from behind me while I was sat in my wheelchair eating my lunch and just jammed the ruler into my thigh. And because MY THIGHS WEREN'T PARALYSED, I screamed in pain but because my hips couldn't really rotate I couldn't turn around and see who'd done it before they sprinted away from me. So the rumour that I was in a wheelchair for attention and that I could actually walk spread around my school. Someone then proceeds to tip me out of my wheelchair and leave me stuck crawling on the floor in a corridor for 25 minutes. I wish that people didn't see disabilities as people trying to be special snowflakes and that we're just doing for attention WE AREN'T! On a lighter note though I can walk now YAY!!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Oh. Dear. Lord. That is exactly the type of thing teachers need to crack down on! Discrimination against people with disabilities is so painfully acceptable, even when it comes to children casually tossing slurs like 'sp*zz' around. I'm sorry that happened to you but glad you're doing better 🌟

[@katedann8377]

Jessica Kellgren-Hayes Oh I got names a lot to but they've stopped now because I'm in college and people tend to get more accepting when they're older. I totally agree that schools and councils need acknowledge that this is happening to disabled people on school and that it needs to be fixed! I really hate thinking that someone else could be in the same place I was when I was in secondary school. Also thanks Jessica most days now I don't even need to use my walker unless I'm doing a lot of walking around which is a vast improvement :) x

[@muffin-kx2mf]

This is fucking terrible and a complete disgrace and I'm so sorry you've ever had to experience this - sending all my love your way! I'm so glad you're doing better :) nothing is better revenge than doing well and succeeding in life! I wish you the best of luck in the future xx

[@tiffanyedwards5722]

What kind of freaking monsters did you people go to school with?! Wtf?!?!

[@saoirse7167]

​@@jessicaoutofthecloset I asked people to stop using words like that as 'jokes' in an assembly on inclusion. So far, it doesn't seem to have helped.

[@katecook1236]

You are the ultimate embodiment of resilience

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you ❤

[@lizziesantoro1622]

@@jessicaoutofthecloset you're very brave for telling your story so candidly and I'm honestly so impressed. Thank you for telling your story

[@thomasnewman4027]

Preach

[@TheSammami]

My heart breaks for this little girl being called usless when she was just ill. :(

[@SixtySecondYoga]

TheSammami Same ☹️ teachers can be so cruel

[@brittanybertolin8859]

Imagine being a full adult saying anything that mean to a child. I work with kids and they annoy me all right but I'd never ever ever call them anything like that to their face or behind their backs for that matter

[@ameliabedelia944]

“Puppies exist so the world is a beautiful place” -Jessica

[@nymphh2827]

I didn't cry UNTIL you said "But I bloody did it". YES YOU DID

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Aw, thank you! 💪

[@Lala-ln2pb]

You are seriously the furthest thing from being useless as in without purpose. Just in the short time I've been watching your videos you brought so much joy to my life and I'm just one of your thousands of followers. Most days I feel so lonely and I watch your videos I feel so uplifted like after hanging out with a friend. You're changing lives Jessica. You are light, you are love and you are more than good enough.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much for your lovely words 💖

[@ChiseledDiamond]

"their voices are minimized" That is something I have wanted to hear for a long time. I was put on the wrong medications from age six to fourteen, during most of my education, and my childhood. In school I came out as openly gay and the other girls locked me out of the gym showers because I would quote 'stare at them' wich I had never done before and I was already gay before that moment. Keep in mind I we were in 6th grade at the time. I am gay (lesbian and happy to be so), mentally disabled (properly diagnosed by medical professionals with papers and documentation) with extreme anxiety wich is so bad i cannot have a job because I can barely get out the door or speak on the phone, I am actually terrified of using the disabled bathroom after using it once and a woman berated me for 'not being disabled' just so I could relax a bit and not be paranoid about someone hearing me pee, and having better space to (yes) jump away form the toilet as it flushes, I don't like loud noises, I hate them and I don't want to be near the toilet when it does.

[@castiel4862]

I am watching this while yet another family member texts me and tells me how much of a burden I am. I am disabled, and just recently became this way so I am still coming to terms with it. At the moment, I have no support, no friends or family that care or even say anything supporting, just constant reminders that I am a drain on society. Thank you for making this video. It helps to know that someone understands. You are a beautiful person and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

[@casie4547]

Actually cried when you were talking about pinching your arms and stabbing you with a protractor thats not ok really not ok people are awful☹️😢

[@spencera9229]

honestly kids are assholes (which doesn't excuse it, god no), but those kids were.. particularly horrible

[@ultraboombean]

@Shufei some of them are just kids going along with the environment and would be ashamed by now.

[@k.marlowe8634]

*curls up and clutches this video to my chest* “You are not alone.” Someone somewhere needs to hear this message every single day. Some days that’s me; some days it’s some other stranger on the internet who might be coming across your videos for the very first time. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this section. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you for sharing your story and for making others like you feel just a little bit less alone.

[@Stuartette]

I can’t tell you how much I heard “what’s wrong *now*” I thought everyone bumped into something and felt that initial “bump into” pain for the next 10 minutes. I thought everyone had to rest after a shower, or had pain all the time. Or their elbows cracked and we’re sore so much. I ended up always “cracking” my elbows because they always hurt. I was trying to hyperextend them to the point where pain was gone. Obviously didn’t work. I thought other 7 year olds had back pain or woke up crying from back pain. Or having intestinal cramping all the time. Or were able to pop their bones out and in. Or were able to stretch everything BEYOND normal. And then came to the point where my TMJ pains as so bad I couldn’t eat anymore. I lost weight because of it. My teeth are straight but not in the right place. And then I sprained my ankle 3 times. And then dislocated my knee. Then dislocated my knee a year later. And I’ve just been going down hill since. But your videos are what made me realize that my pain and symptoms and issues weren’t normal. And made me seek help.

[@beep3225]

I know I am abled and I can't rlly compare but I need to take a break after everything I do whether it is showering or walking around I get super tired so I can somewhat understand

[@TonxKing]

"Puppies exist, so the world is a beautiful place" is literally how I get through some days. I don't even have a dog. I just watch videos of other people's dogs or remember seeing a dog outside and hold onto the reality that they exist.

[@Kirsty_McKay]

Very emotional but very brave video.

[@Kirsty_McKay]

I always feel as if people, even my own family, get fed up with something always hurting or me being fatigued etc. I decided a long time ago to stop apologising for all my ailments as I literally have no control over them. It does get to you sometimes and I totally understand where this video comes from. I love your videos & think you're awesome xx

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Not apologising for things you can't control is such a freeing and wonderful experience I wish I had started it much earlier in my life! You keep on being awesome too 😉

[@emmafield]

@Twitchyboi he makes you apologise??? Next time he hurts himself I think you should make him realise how silly that is. In fact, if your injuries are due to a genetic disorder then maybe you should make him apologise to you after every injury.

[@brittanybertolin8859]

I totally relate but in a slightly different way. I find people always expect/ask for apologies out of me for needing to leave because of my mental illness and treat it as if I can control it (btw nothing like storming out or anything. Like having a panic attack and trying to get to a place where I can calm myself because its humiliating to do that in front of others)

[@BeverleyButterfly]

Thank you so much for sharing this, it was painful and I hate you went through that. I totally get what you mean by people walking away when you get sick, it's so lonely and horrid I cried during that part because it bought up so much! You are a badass and a fighter so proud of you!!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you lovely! Sorry for your tears but I hope they were cathartic 💖

[@BeverleyButterfly]

Jessica Kellgren-Hayes yes they were much like yours seemed to be xxx

[@meganbeauregard3317]

Jessica, I love all of your videos but this one really resignated with me. I am nineteen and also have a chronic illness, and some of my worst memories are of dealing with people in school. I am consistently impressed with your grace and happiness, and so grateful that you make videos like this. ❤️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much, lovely. I'm really glad the video spoke to you ❤

[@littlemissdiybeautyhacksxo7595]

Megan Beauregard i

[@kateperry2365]

As a 16 year old in America currently fighting chronic and mental illness, I'm so glad I watched this video. This disabled club we are all in is exclusive, and when you don't know anyone with a condition like yours, you feel so isolated. Thank you for showing me that I'm not alone. You got through it. I will too.

[@hannahstephens3645]

I started to cry almost immediately and then my roommate asked if I was okay. She started to watch with me and now we're just both in tears. Thank you for sharing your story. I was bullied in school for far different reasons but it still hurts all the same. People are going to be able to see this video and feel the sincerity behind your words and know that they are not alone and that things will turn out to be okay.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much! ...And sorry for making both of you cry 😘

[@khigher]

I wish I could have been your friend back then. You're brilliant x

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Aw, thank you, I wish you could have been my friend too! x

[@sandycates1]

Dear Jessica, this video broke my heart. I am a retired teacher,(in the states, California) and many of my students had special needs. I am so very sorry for the pain you experienced and the memories that still cause you so much pain. I hope the strength you have now, and the willingness to share your story, will encourage kindness and inclusion for all who hear it. Bless you and I am so happy you and Claudia found each other.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much Sandy! You're such a kind person I am sure you were a wonderful teacher xxx

[@brittanybertolin8859]

I wish there were more teachers like you xoxo

[@manuelagarciademicheo6751]

"And don't worry about feeling like a burden, because you are bringing something to people; you just can't tell" I'm probably just in a dramatic mood today but this really hit me. I feel like most of us (people with disabilities I mean) have felt that at some point, and, honestly, sometimes I still catch myself stuggling with it, so hearing this was really... validating I guess? I don't even know if that's a word. Anyway I'm sorry about all this rambling, I just wanted to thank you for saying that. I think I sort of needed to hear it... and I doubt I'm the only one.

[@DavidLeeAndrews]

The problem with society today is how certain people are uneducated about those of us with disabilities. Like you, Jess, I don't look disabled on a surface level, and also came across a similar path full of bureaucracy, scepticism, and downright silliness, all because those around us were unable to define the severity of what we have. But as you say, thankfully there were some who cared and were able to see things as they really are, which is saying something, considering I'm partially sighted, ha! Great video. You're a diamond.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you! Sorry you too had the path of most resistance but glad we made it through to the other side x

[@PandaChaos36]

i found you on the video "what not to say to deaf people!" and what a lovely find this was!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Welcome to the channel 😊

[@jessicacompton5371]

Why are people, kids especially, so mean. This broke my heart. You’re always so sweet and trying to make light of a crap situation and it’s admirable. I’m so glad I found you on here. You deserve all of the happiness that Claudia brings to you. And your puppies 🐶.

[@kellymburton]

My boy gets sick because of his ADHD meds. I believe him 100% and you make me feel glad I do.

[@elizabethbulfer4530]

This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours... I cried thru the entire thing. It sounds like our childhoods were very similar (why can't adults just believe children?!) and being called weak, wimp, useless, etc hurts like daggers. I didn't start getting any dx's until I started searching for answers at age 19 (didn't get any dx until age 22). You're such a beautiful person, all the way to your core! I'm going to be sharing this video with people because I think out can really help. Love it!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Oh, thank you for sharing the video, I'm really glad you found it helpful! It was difficult to make (obviously- destroyed my make up with those tears!) but that makes it worth it 💕

[@brittneyzarwel6242]

I can’t weigh in on the exact experience you had I can say I was bullied to a degree in middle and high school. Mostly for being poor and not fitting In physically (clothes, super frizzy curly hair that I didn’t know how to deal with) and even though it was more than 15 years ago I do still tear up remembering how it made me feel back then. I just had to comment about how your dog came in and made it better. My little pup got me thru the last year of a horrendously emotionally and mentally abusive relationship and even now, more than 3 years after it ended, he will still climb in my lap and lick my tears off my face if I’m crying. 💜

[@kaleighmacdonald8267]

I'm seventeen and just finished highschool with multiple disabilities. (hearing problems, chronic pain and chronic GI problems. all undiagnosed because nobody believes me. my diagnosis is literally "chronic pain and chronic GI problems". and i communicate about 90% by reading lips) and i can't tell you how much i needed to hear this. I'm literally in tears right now. Thank you for making me feel seen and heard

[@alisa_and_pup]

Just found this. I have a mental illness, and am constantly tired, and often feel very alone in my struggle. But I wanted to thank you, you sweet sweet person for being so kind and open in sharing. Your heart is made of gold, and I pray God continues to bless you with those few real friends and a strong heart ♡♡♡

[@omni-jq8pc]

While im not physically disabled im autistic and so many points you brought up really resonated with me . When you cried i cried with you and i just wanted to wholeheartedly thank you for putting out your experience and making me feel validated and not like a burden ❤️ lets keep fighting !!!! ❤️

[@pattyszabo3622]

"Puppies exist.. So the world is a beautiful place " aaaaand I'm crying too... 😅💖

[@No1WrthNoin]

❤🧡💛💚💙💜❤ Also, I *love* the last line you said: "See? Puppies exist. So the world is a beautiful place." Even after all the crap and absolute bullshit you've gone through and have been put through, you've still found the world beautiful because "puppies exist." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@sashano2590]

Oh darling, I know this was years ago (both the instances and you making this video) but I still just want to hug you SO MUCH. You are so brave and amazing and a genuine ray of sunshine

[@lizad8627]

I'm so sorry your own class mate not only emotionally abused you, but physically and mentally abused you. I wish i had the privilege of being you friend

[@lbea04]

Thank you for telling your story. I cried along with you. While I did not have a terribly difficult time in high school, my college years have been incredibly difficult. I think some people treat chronic mental illness as made up illnesses and that makes it hard for people to understand because they cannot physically see anything wrong. Being bipolar has shown me who my real friends and family are. Currently, I am laid up in bed with the covers practically over my head, but you have certainly given me a glimmer of hope :)

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

I'm sorry you've had a hard time with people accepting your mental illness but you're quite right, being ill really does show you the best in people as well 💕

[@watermelonwishes4193]

Same with mental illness stuff. I was never bullied in school, but I feel I was, at work, the last 3 years by 3 of my managers occasionally chastising me, saying I was doing it for attention. They didn't know about my suicide attempt 4 years ago. All 3 of those managers are gone-two retired and one transferred to another location so I am healing from that, as well as anxiety, depression, and ptsd. I have the nicest store manager now. She's so nice and so supportive and treats me like a human being. She also has anxiety so she 'gets' it. I have the weekend off and wasn't productive at all yesterday. Spent just 4 hours out of bed. Today was better though. More productive and stayed out of bed. I think I've watched 30 or more of Jessica's videos in the past 2 days. 😍

[@shanathelittle]

I cried like a baby through the whole video, it's just shocking how people can react to the unknown. Thank you Jessica for your honest story, you're truly amazing. The world needs more people like you to really see an other point of view, I believe that's how the bullies will understand how harmful is their behavior. Keep up the great videos, love you, xoxo

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much lovely, really glad you liked the video! ❤

[@caitefa]

Thank you for sharing, Jessica. I can't tell you how many times adults accused me of being dramatic as a child instead of honestly listening. It makes me so happy to watch your videos, finding a positive force for mutual understanding & kindness.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

You're very welcome! At least we know now to listen to children ♥

[@Krazykat3141]

It especially hurt when I would tell my parents about something going wrong with me and they would actually laugh in my face. The memories still hurt.

[@asleepywitch7175]

I’m watching this 3 years after it was uploaded! I was bullied a lot as child from the age of around 9-14 (it only stopped when I reached a crisis with my mental health and was sectioned under the mental health act for my own safety) - seeing you being so strong and resilient and defeating every challenge that comes your way with sass and optimism gives me hope. I was unable to complete my GCSE’s because of my awful school but I hope to one day, complete them, thank you for being such an open, wonderful person.

[@breannabeck2478]

I️, like you, have an illness that makes it hard to be ‘normal’... I️ was feeling so lost and then I️ watched this video and it touched me. You are such and outstanding woman and by you sharing your story you are Helping people around the world believe in their selfs. Thank you for being you and being so incredibly strong. You are amazing girl!

[@meagansbabe]

You are soooo brave! The world is definitely a better place because you are in it. I have learned so much from your videos and I truly look forward to seeing them each week. You are a rock star!!! Thank you for being you.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

That's such a touching comment, thank you so much! I hope I continue making videos you like to watch ❤

[@koala4996]

God this made me bawl. You're one of the most positive people I've ever seen, very inspiring how you use your channel to bolster others and raise awareness. I always feel cheered up after watching one of your videos, even if I'm also sniveling.

[@morpheium203]

Well now this is one of my favourite videos on the internet. I'm not a teenager but still not very good with words, all I can say is no amount of soldiers coming home to dogs or children videos will make me feel as happy as seeing you be happy now with Claudia. I'm glad you got through and I'm glad i found your Channel. Hope you two get all the happiness you deserve and more. Loads of love :)

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you for such sweetness, I'm really pleased you like my videos! xxx

[@Greeningermany]

This is the most beautiful and touching story that I ever heard. My heart goes out to you and I send you my love. I don't have a disability but I was the victim of bullies through my whole schooling, I was either painfully visible involving verbal, physical or emotional abuse or was completely invisible. Just because I was different and liked different things. But like you, I find joy and beauty in the small things in life, I love to day dream and I am thankful for all that I have. I certainly would have wished to be able to appreciate all the wonder of life without having to go through those things that I did but if that was the price, it was worth it. I love your videos and thank you for sharing your obvious joy and happiness in life, the beauty and love of your family with Claudia and your dogs and friends. It makes me realize that there is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic and optimist. Thank you for bring joy to my day with your videos. I would have gladly carried your chair up those stairs in Uni. Cheers, Michele

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Being a hopeless romantic and optimist is definitely the best way to live! We would definitely have been friends at school ❤

[@tarshariley]

Thankyou for this video. I have always suspected there was something going on for my daughter the same as me when I was a kid. Then a few months ago she started getting very unwell and the doctors and her school were trying to convince me that she was faking. I kept fighting fiercely just to have her treated with respect! Never mind have the doctors keep treating her and keep looking. I am now fairly certain we both have hEDS (we have both had a very large amounts of fractures and dislocations and both have POTS). She is about to start high school and this has empowered me to continue to fight fiercely for her right to fair education and for the schools to facilitate and monitor social aspects. I am sorry for your terrible experience and well done for your amazing achievements and thankyou for sharing your experience ❤️

[@jetilargo6867]

That hurt so much, since it reminded me so much of me and my messy school experience. You are the humanized resilience

[@Indigo_Ivy]

Im going back to year twelve after having half of my first attempt off due to burnout. This video is really helping me and omg I resonate with this story a lot. Hopefully this time I will have more support- I have some diagnoses and have the drive to fight for the others I need, and I’ve applied for an Assistance Dog which I’m super excited to be able to regain some independence. Thank you for making these videos, you’ve made such a difference to my journey as a young autistic, chronically ill disabled person.

[@annaegan493]

I related to this so much! It took so long for me to accept my disabilities or accept help. I'm doing a BA in my final year (my 5th year) and it's been so hard physically, emotionally and socially. I'm pulling through by the skin of my teeth but I'm determined to not let my pain, mobility or fatigue stop me. You are definitely not alone xxx

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Yes! You must be almost at the end of your uni year now so well done for getting so far, you awesome human being! 👏

[@joysfulljourney]

You're such an incredible human being, and the way you manage to stay positive throughout hardships is truly inspiring. You're really an illuminated soul who deserves all of the best and brightest things in the world

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much! ⭐💖

[@Katellabe]

You are now a rolemodel (and maybe a supermodel) to me. I need to work on being more positive and focus on what I can do.

[@bec1.618]

I have not had experiences anywhere near the extent of yours, but I understand. Mine definitely affected me but certainly not to the same level as you- however I’m finally able to acknowledge that how I was treated was not okay, and that it is more than reasonable for me to be hurt by it. I hear you, I see you, and I am so, so proud of you for everything you’ve managed to achieve- and everything you’ve failed at too, because you tried, and that’s an achievement in itself. 💖 I am self-labeled as disabled, and diagnosed with POTS. I am halfway through the process of being diagnosed with ADHD, and trying to start the process of being diagnosed with ASD, chronic fatigue, chronic pain/fibromyalgia, Ehlers-Danlos, and IBS (or some form of partial paralysis/reduced function of the stomach). The process of diagnosis is difficult as it is for abled, mentally healthy/functioning, “normal” people; for the disadvantaged, it’s downright near impossible and so incredibly draining in so many ways. The first step of trying to be heard is also far from easy- especially as a child, or being mentally ill, queer, female, neurodivergent, and labelled as a hypochondriac or “overly sensitive” (when in actuality you’re disabled and ill and no one is listening)… let alone all of the above. Achieving anything at all on top of daily survival through our difficulties is absolutely incredible, and you should give yourself every bit of credit- because it is more than deserved, it is EARNED. For anyone who has ever had to fight for basic rights, equality, (and god forbid, equity) I see you. You’re absolutely amazing, and I’m so so proud of you. If you need to rest, that is more than understandable. But if you’re able to fight, and you do, thank you. On behalf of the small mentally ill, neurodivergent, queer, disabled and chronically ill little girl that I was, THANK YOU. You are valued, and you are appreciated. And most of all, you’re a badass 💖

[@Smudgie33]

I've never written a comment like this being a typical reserved Englishwoman but I just felt compelled to do so. Jessica - Words escape me at how horrible your school and "friends" were towards you. I wish I had known you then as I'd like to think I would have been a friend. Kids (and adults) can be so cruel sometimes but I truly believe you are only given in life what your soul can handle and you have come out of that terrible experience so much stronger and such a better person for it. Despite your disabilities and what life has thrown at you I am amazed how happy you always are, although I know not all days are like that I'm sure. Take care and tell Claudia to give you a big hug. (or not if that comes across as too weird). lol PS: I did smile at the end when you were hugging your dog as our Bichon, Freya is my comfort, snuggle buddy whenever I'm feeling low or having a bad anxiety day so I totally got that... ❤️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much lovey! I definitely could have used a friend like you back then xxx

[@gothy_ragdoll9860]

this has got me ugly crying.. so much love for your courageous soul

[@littlebeeandnutmeg6395]

Crying through this whole video! It made me realise how poorly my school was designed when it came to wheelchair access, I used to climb 3 flights of stairs then pass out soon after. And your touching words at the end broke me down, it's just what I needed to hear. So often I feel bad for being extra work for people but knowing I could be giving something in return that people value more than the extra time it takes to be my friend is such a wonderful thought

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Aw, I'm so glad that the video connected with you- especially my little pep talk! 😉 You definitely bring good things to the people around you xx

[@luizasantiago566]

I was very bullied at school for being "ugly", of course its nothing compared to being disabled and picked on for it, but this video reminded me of those times and how i used to think my life would end because of that. But we can be brave and fight through this as you said, and now I feel like my ife has gone so much further than i ever imagined and even more than the lives of those who hit me or cursed me in the past. So thank you so much for this video, you inspire me so much.

[@gabvsgabe]

I just discovered you and your lovely channel in the last week or so and I find myself watching several of your videos a day ever since. I'm watching them as they pop up and all out of order but I find myself constantly moved by your grace, light, honesty, intelligence and humor. I don't know you and I won't ever meet you but I feel as though you are a friend to me, and the world. You make my heart swell even on your hardest videos to share and I am just so glad some one like you (and your charming Claud) has chosen to share her life with all of us. I hope you continue to do so ever more. Many of us will continue to watch and laugh, cry, and love with you. Hearing your stories, learning what you've lived through, and seeing how you choose to carry on makes me think that I can make it through anything I'm experiencing too. So thank you for your words Jessica and thank you for being you. Wishing you all the best and a happy holiday, with love from California.

[@harunababe8986]

I cried watching this video because it reminded me of all the similar trauma I went through.

[@ollivergalaxy6785]

I feel rather odd writing this after having watched the very emotional and inspiring ending of this video but I totally relate to the experience of being a sick child. I had a rather weak immune system so I was sick a lot and even had to get an operation at age three. I definitely had a lot of disbelief around me because I always was some sort of ill and I feel as though that has shaped me in a rather negative way in my teens/early adulthood. I definitely am a lot better now in terms of I don't catch the flu or get colds as often as I did and I even went this whole year without the usual flu during winter! I'm not totally healthy, mind, as I am type one diabetic and have a few mental illnesses. But I feel that, because I grew up with so much disbelief surrounding my health, I've grown to keep things to myself. Even if it's something potentially serious, I tend to keep my issues to myself as long as possible.

[@emmaeriksson7155]

Ugh this hit me right at home. I hear your story and I’m truly sorry for what you had to go through I have the same experience with being autistic but my parents really didn’t believe me. (And got late diagnosed at 24y/o). This lead to I didn’t believed in my self so the first 5 years as an adult I was filled with deep depressions, burnouts and constantly having gastric catarrh (I believe is the English word but stressed bowel to the point that can’t eat, move or sleep bc of the pain). Thank god I met my psychologist who got me to believe that I wasn’t make everything up. I still have a big trust issue with them and are very good at keeping them at a distance. But I got good grades in school so I had no problem there at least :) But it also took me 5 years to complete my exams in university.

[@saaras3081]

Jessica you are such an inspiration. You are the epitome of willpower and strength. I love you so much!

[@AGothNamedWednessday]

The world is a beautiful place because puppies and kitties exist, but also because people like you, and people like Claudia exist. You and your radiant shining personality and disposition help make the world beautiful. Never forget that 🖤🖤

[@Sleepymcninja]

You absolutely beautiful angel, this video made me cry, although I didn't have the bullying, having gotten ill during my 6th year I just left school. I have felt useless and like an outsider, your videos are a little shining light of positivity and show me that things can and will get better. That my worth is not based on how much money I earn (none) how busy I am (not at all, unless you count sleep) but based on the type of person I am. You are a twinkly little star, you and Claudia are amazing and yes life is beautiful, 99% because puppies exist! Thank you for putting yourself out there, you help more than you know xx

[@morpheium203]

Erin Goodall I see the puppy invasion in the picture 😄

[@Sleepymcninja]

Comickaaze lol that's my fuzzy angel! 😇🐶

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Yes, yes, yes, your worth is definitely based on just being a lovely person and from this comment I can tell that you really are! 💗

[@deannarose2424]

I was also diagnosed at 17 and spent my senior year in a wheelchair or at home being homeschooled. I always thought something was wrong with me and I spent so much of my life in pain and feeling suicidal because of it. I wont get into more details as I don't want to get upset but I just want to thank you for this video and helping me feel less alone. All your videos are just so wonderful and you are a bright spot in the universe for me. I am actually working on a lot of my PTSD around school right now in my EMDR sessions, but I don't know if I will ever be completely healed and not feel so angry. It can be really hard to describe to people why things were so difficult. it was really validating hearing your story. I think i still carry a ton of the isolation and shame that time period instilled in me and I don't know if I will ever let it fully go.

[@alyssa-jadelynnebutlin7778]

Jessica , you are truly amazing , I can relate to your struggles as I have cerebral palsy , I always wanted to be a hairdresser, but my. body didn't cooperate so as a teenager I typically quit then some 20 plus years later i went back to complete it, but unfortunately after 2 years of minimal college back up I was forced to quit on the insistence of the college , however it made me feel terrible and somewhat "useless" . So now I have to accept my disability and the pains associated with it. So I concur with your challenging situation. Good on you ... you are a gorgeous inspiration to all people out there, disabled or otherwise♥️♥️♥️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

I'm so sorry your college did that! I hope you still enjoy all things hair related however 💇 xxx

[@alyssa-jadelynnebutlin7778]

Jessica Kellgren-Hayes , I do still enjoy things hair related, even though I am a male I very often like to get my hair set on rollers and constantly find happiness in rollers and covered in a hairnet and under a large overhead hairdryer .

[@fionamaley]

Sobbing while watching this, thank you for validating us all, I love you so freaking much!

[@floatingaway1665]

Awww, I've been going through some undisgosed health stuff the last 9 months or so. And I'm in high school, this video gave me so much hope and strength. Thank you, I love you❤️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

You are so, so welcome lovely. Remember, you're never alone and I hope things start to improve for you 💖

[@thenerrdpit7441]

How did you survive having to lay down IN THE DARK FOR A YEAR. This blows my mind. I know you don't need it, but my heart goes out to you, you deserve a crown for sitting here today, because you are a warrior princess.

[@chantelschneider3045]

You made me cry cause I'm in the same situation you were in high school where no one helped and everyone thinking I'm lying I'm currently in university and I have a service dog. He makes everything worth it. Thank for sharing your story and for the kind words I really needed that at this point in time. So thank you from me and my pup, Sebastian !!!! :D

[@lenagoodwin8223]

Gosh you actually got me tearing up. You have such a beautiful soul (and puppy) :) I really struggled silently through high school. I knew something was wrong but doctors, family, etc. made me feel like I was just an attention seeking, lazy piece of crap. I really felt invisible. I mean I had a few friends but it always seemed people only acknowledged me when no one else was around or during class work and the rest of the time I didn't exist. At the time I hadn't claimed the term disabled. In fact sometimes I still question if I deserve too, until I have a bad day. Turns out I have dysautonomia, chronic migraine, pots, etc and likely undiagnosed adhd/autism... Anyway, thanks for always reminding me I'm not useless and there is no such thing as not disabled enough with all your videos:)

[@bec1.618]

I have a very similar experience to you- I’ve also been diagnosed with POTS, and am currently trying to get diagnosed with ADHD, autism, chronic fatigue, chronic pain/fibromyalgia, POTS migraines, IBS/some form of reduced stomach function, and Ehlers Danlos. I’ve also recently claimed the disabled label, and still struggle with whether I deserve to use it or not. We definitely do. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through, and you’re not alone. I’m proud of you 💖

[@michelletackett9489]

I was bullied for being disabled. I hated school, and I could not wait to get out of there.

[@sarahhouston9948]

You are my goddamned hero Jessica

[@lavenderrbleu]

This video absolutely made me cry...I suffer from anxiety, and I've never asked for help with it because I have been made to feel like a burden...so I feel alone and like I have to do this alone (which doesn't help my anxiety)...hopefully one day I can have your strength.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Oh my dear, sometimes asking for help is the strongest thing you can do! Don't be afraid to reach out, if people make you feel like a burden then that's on them, it's nothing to with you. You're not alone ❤

[@randomrainbow4479]

Absolutely not alone. I've been struggling with the same thing for over a decade. No, wait, I think more like 2 decades. There's been so many times I think I should talk to a professional but I live in the States and can't even afford insurance, so definitely can't afford a therapist. I don't know what to do. I've looked online but I can't seem to seem to get anywhere. It gets so bad sometimes I stop taking care of myself. I don't understand why this keeps happening or why I have such a hard time caring enough to stop it when it does. Even as I type this I keep thinking I should just delete the whole, not bother you with my shit when you have shit of your own to deal with. I won't though, because my point to begin with is to show you you aren't alone. I feel the exact same way and I'm trying to see my way through the mess, but that I haven't figured it out either. Watching Jessica is very helpful though, eh? There's gotta be some light for us somewhere too.

[@TheNarcoticMonkey]

7 Cups. You can talk to trained listeners online for free. Merry Xmas!

[@watermelonwishes4193]

@@randomrainbow4479 I can definitely relate and I care. 💕💞💕💞💕

[@watermelonwishes4193]

@@randomrainbow4479 Also, I live in the States too. Do you know about the texting warm line 741741? I've used it several times. I'm more comfortable texting than talking. It helps a lot-they're very nice.

[@chriscutler8025]

Dearest Jessica Thank You For Sharing Your Story .It Is and Will Help So Many Young People and I am about to be 60 and was Born With Invisable Issue of Disability , In My 30's I Had A Back Injury which lead to other issues of Disability and now live with more .It does take courage and there should not be unkindness and deliberate acts of cruelty . Please know I am so Proud of You for Who You Are .You Are Appreciated Warmly Chris

[@AjayyHatake]

You don't understand how much you've impacted me to start KZbin Jessica. Love you so much!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Hi Ajay, glad to read this!

[@AjayyHatake]

I'm so honoured that you replied! one day i'd love to collab with you! keep doing what you're doing you're just amazing! xoxo

[@zoegras4787]

As a future elementary teacher, thank you so so much for sharing your story. I will never think that students are faking, I will always listen to them.

[@caidcoburn7928]

What a wonderful person, surprised videos like this are not trending on KZbin

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you xxx

[@ichan2753]

I know it's an old video, but I can't explain how much I appreciate that you did it. End of 2017 (13 YO) I had a car accident and I can no longer move my legs, besides that I realized that I was gay. Luckily my school and classmates were very kind (some not so much, others looked at me with pity). I just felt really bad about all the social pressure I have, and discovering this about you made me feel,,, less alone. I know it doesn't mean much, but thanks u :,)

[@GeorginasJourney]

I watched this whole video through blurred eyes because I related to it so much that every sentence made me cry. Even the good ones :)

[@GeorginasJourney]

To everyone going through the same thing, *I believe in you* And somehow, even if you can't see how, things will get at least a little bit better ❤️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

🙌💕

[@SixtySecondYoga]

You are such a strong person! They called you useless, but you’re the most useful person I’ve ever seen.

[@jamiez901]

thank you so much for sharing those horrifying stories! you are propelling for changes!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

I think that sums up my past: 'Horrifying But Helpful' 😉

[@nicoleallen3079]

I deeply feel that the world is a beautiful place because of puppies too!!!! All 3 of mine are glued to me all day, everyday.

[@finalfantasy7freak664]

I really relate to what you said about school boards being difficult. I have learning disabilities and ADHD and getting assistive tech to help me learn was impossible. I was made fun of in class a lot for not being able to keep up and learn at the same rate as everyone else, but I didn’t realize people were making fun of me until I graduated from high school last year. Most people thought I was dumb and crazy, mostly because of my ADHD making me unable to sit still and pay attention (I am super spacey and daydream a lot, though), and I say things and act without thinking, and I have a shit memory and constantly ask people to repeat everything they say a dozen times (Yay auditory processing disorder). Because of these things they all thought I was annoying, which was an invitation for the bullying. And while a few teachers were actually great, there was this one time where we went over my IEP and I realized that they weren’t. It was that IEP that is supposed to help you transition out of school and into Adult Life™, and I was told to write down what I wanted to do with my life, what career I wanted, and all that good stuff. I wrote down that I want to be a writer. Then I got my IEP and the notes that were made on it back and every single one of my teachers said that I wouldn’t be able to be a writer because I “don’t understand how life works.” Nevermind the fact that I researched the publishing process and how the beta readers and editing works and I practiced my writing skills everyday because no one wanted me to be around them because of how annoying I am, so I had turned to books instead. But these grown adults actually thought that since I have learning disabilities I am just stupid and incompetent and unable to have dreams like a “normal” person. When I complained to my parents and the few friends I had, they repeated the same thing that was on my IEP and said that the teachers were right, which really hurt and it honestly still hurts. The result of all this is that I never really told anyone what I want to do in life and I have a hard time asking for help. I don’t have social skills, which is a thing that happens with ADHD apparently, and I still don’t have many friends. I started college with absolutely ZERO self esteem and anxiety, so I bawled at what you said at the end of your video.

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

You are absolutely going to be a writer and nothing is going to stand in your way.

[@elliesophliz]

Teenagers go through so much in school and life in general. The fact that you made it through that horrible time with all the additional things you had to deal with is truly inspirational! I hope the bullies watch this video and feel some remorse... but that's something you never have to worry about any more so turn those tears into happy tears!

[@alydrolet5770]

This was really helpful for me. I have been dealing with headaches for the passed month and all though my parents believed me, I don't think that they really understand how they felt or how I dealt with them. You gave me hope that things will get better.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Things will definitely get better! The best advice I can give for explaining the pain of your headaches to your parents is to take the greatest physical pain you've both shared (from something simple like a stubbed toe to broken bones if you both happen to have done that) and then extrapolate- it's always easier for people to he;p when they understand your pain. I hope you start to feel better soon 💖💖💖

[@alydrolet5770]

Jessica Kellgren-Hayes thanks so much for the advice. Love u girl, keep the good work. ♥️ U made my day.

[@kirbird]

5 years for a 3 year degree is incredible. I, too, took 5 years because I couldn't handle doing more than 3 units at a time... And I'm so grateful. Finishing a degree is a huge accomplishment :)

[@rinamarie116]

Thank you for sharing your story

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

My gosh, that's a classic tale of parents who should have listened to their child! 🙈

[@rinamarie116]

Yep! Luckily my epilepsy has become entirely manageable and i've been seizure free for quite some time :) My parents were you though, and things happen

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Oh good! I'm so pleased you're seizure free! 💖

[@CodyO917]

It really upsets me that you were treated that way, you’re an amazing person and deserve to be treated as such!❤️

[@carlagianchino8688]

Brave lady, teenage years are hard, double so when you are different to others, but you are crushing it now, wow strong lady now

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you! 😀

[@scifirocks]

I was born disabled, but nobody considered me disabled when I was at school. I was just the girl who said she was in pain, was bad at PE and had lots of medical appointments. This meant I wasn't given any accommodations and was openly mocked by multiple PE teachers. I had to use a wheelchair temporarily when I was 9, I wasn't allowed to go to school as the classroom was upstairs.

[@ellarose9890]

Jessica, I love you and your videos so much. This one especially hit home with me. I am in my senior year of high school and only being diagnosed with a chronic illness I've been struggling with for years now. Your words are so beautiful and needed. Thank you for making this video.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

So glad my story connected with you! Really hoping that your diagnosis helps make school easier for you and good luck for graduation ⭐

[@leoneabbacchio2098]

*Puppies exist, so the world is a beautiful place* i love,,,. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and my mother came up to me yesterday saying a relative has just gotten four puppies and that if we want we can drive up to see them (five hour drive,, shes an icon) for dog therapy and i nearly cried 🐶

[@Bucherviews]

Aww, I cried too... school was horrific for me as well, and although I know I didn't have the same challenges as you, I feel your pain. xx

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Sorry to hear that, I hope everything is heaps better for you now! 💗

[@OuhPii]

School can be tough sh*t ...but in a way teaches you, to deal with the worst of the worst and always stay positive

[@meikewinkler2444]

oh my gosh !!!! It makes me cry seeing you crying ! You are a wonderful person and you deserve the best in life. Thank you for making me smile (or cry) watching your videos:) lots of love from Germany :D

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you! Love back to Germany ❤

[@georgerobins4110]

Huge shoutout to the friends who came and visited you and let you cry. It’s a shame that there aren’t more people like that and that so many people couldn’t see what a wonderful person you are, Jessica. ❤️❤️❤️ I discovered you from your collaboration with DissociaDID and you were so kind and wonderful and understanding in that. You’re an amazing person and you deserve better than the people who did all those horrible things.

[@thomasbernhardt5978]

I feel you on the fact that kids don’t get listened to. When I was in fifth grade I was in so much pain like 12/10 In a wheelchair and everything. they told me I have conversion disorder (google it) and I told them it’s not in my head they didn’t believe me but guess what I was right

[@katie9146]

This is so good to hear...Something important that I took away from it was that it's very important to listen to children when they say they're in pain and continuously try to find a diagnosis.

[@chloe-marietaylor1947]

You are such an amazing and inspiring person, I'm sitting here crying along with you. It's so incredible that you persevered through it all and didn't let the people or policies stop you. Thank goodness for the people that were kind to you and thank you for making this video, people need to hear what it is like. ❤️

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

You are so welcome, thank you for your kind words 💕

[@annaadong]

(hello 7 months later!) I think your story should reach more people, and make everyone aware of the "unseen" problems in schools. All the children and teenagers who has gotten sick or impaired, even for a short amount of time, have experienced this invisibility-treatment. Your story was so touching, and oh how I envy your determination!

[@priscillaisawesome3]

Thank you for sharing your story. I have to say I was crying right along with you! Sometimes it amazes me at how truly mean people can be. I'm so sorry you had to experience this level of bullying in school! You are a very strong and resilient person and I truly admire you!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

You're so kind, thank you ⭐

[@resonantdave]

In the last few weeks I had good reason to believe I might be dying after my nervous doctor spoke to me. Your videos were a treasure in this time. We no longer think it is that illness. You are at least useful for that.