Having A Carer In Your 20s [CC]

[@marielawrence8992]

I just wanted to leave a quick note from a carer's point of view, to anyone worried about having a carer; there is nothing that phases an experienced carer, be that cleaning up for you or dealing with all kinds of bodily issues. We just want to make sure that you are living the way that you want to in the most comfortable way. I will help you bathe, do your make up, hoover your house or set up your TV planner so you don't miss your favourite shows, it's no biggie. I know it takes time to get your head around having care needs or needing some assistance, but you'll get there.

[@ps374249]

As someone who works over school breaks as carer, and hasn't been doing it for long, let me add that even inexperienced carers (who are decent at least) also try to be unphased by the bodily issues (personally, I started out from babysitting, so I had experience with very small children, they're super gross) and just want you to be comfortable and help you out.

[@emiliesmith9917]

Lesbian Amazon Sister It’s very nice to hear this!

[@artsyebonyrose]

Thank you for your services and your empathy

[@AnnikaVictoria24]

I recently got a support worker once a week, because YOU made me realise it was even a thing! I am ~so much more independent now!~ & me and my partner have such a better relationship because he’s not caring for me every single day! Thank you, Jessica

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

That is excellent news, I am so happy to read this!! 🌸❤️

[@Victoriascarn]

Omg never thought I would see you on this channel love you Annika 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

[@withyoctopus]

Annika is in the house. Love your videos!

[@lorelig]

Wow, I didn't expect to see you here! It's cool to know that you have a support worker though, It's nice to see you doing well!

[@ryanandersen-harper7551]

Annika, you and Jessica have actually helped me accept my disabilities so, so much and I really love both of your channels ❤ I'm getting a rollator tomorrow and I don't think I ever would've considered using a mobility aid if it hadn't been for people like you two

[@starhill6792]

Ahh I read career. But I think this is still an interesting topic.

[@braindeadkumquat]

Me too!

[@lunajinks9872]

Star Shine I reread it 5 times to make sure it wasn’t career. 😂

[@amatakespix]

Star Shine same!! I worked as a caregiver for over 2 years so this was a great surprise 😁

[@lauramatalebot7698]

Same!

[@stonelovecharm7119]

It took me about three passes to realize it was supposed to be "carer!"

[@Moccashio]

"Sadly, you don't become disabled and get handed a pamphlet" SO.TRUE. Amazing hair as always

[@deeanazaman8871]

True, it's all hit and miss

[@nataliem7144]

I'm a carer with an agency. Part of the reason I've stuck with this particular company is that I get to stick with my clients. So I see the same people, multiple times a week. It makes such a huge difference. Trust is a huge part of my job, and that doesn't just happen. So having the ability to see my ladies regularly makes it easier for them to get to know and trust in me, Carer Nat. If I may add - immediate mark of a good carer is that they listen to you. Maybe you're not good with physical contact? Ok. Let's find a way to get round that together. Maybe you don't want people in the outside world to know you need care: Ok. Who would you like people to think I am? It's really not working out? That's fine. I really really hope the next person is exactly what you need. Is there anything I can do to make the changeover easier? Also, don't be afraid to say that their appearance isn't quite right. I happily adjust my outfit as the day goes on so I'm uber-professional for one, a friendly-carer for another and a companion-lookalike for another. Heck, I even redo my make-up several times a day on a bumpy bus to help my ladies feel more comfortable around me! A carer that makes you feel like crap, isn't caring. We are literally here to help YOU to do whatever it is YOU want to do, not what I think you should be doing (except if you're bleeding to death etc etc. I'll probably do that without asking permissions). Point being, unless you're about to shuffle off this mortal coil, a carer should adapt to YOU and support you in your ambitions. Be that earning a degree or buying bog roll from the corner shop. Doesn't matter to us, unless it matters to you.

[@MamaMOB]

You’re amazing!!! This world needs more of you!

[@thebookwyrmslair6757]

Wow, you have an amazing attitude! Thank you for sharing from your beautiful perspective!!

[@annieinwonderland]

Yes this need to said yes support worker need care.

[@dorkasaurus.gretch]

This made me cry. I need this kind of care or even the tiniest bit of similar support from SOMEONE in my life. Thank you for what you do!!!

[@MrDooom]

I spent the whole video waiting for Clara to slide into frame, because I _knew_ that was going to happen eventually. I was not disappointed :)

[@lilliankarabaic8194]

I spent the rest of the video just thinking CLARA IS OVER THERE.

[@molepole1998]

I'm 21 and I have a 26 year old carer. I love her so much, she's like my crazy aunt and has a similar humour to me. Also, she's the first gay person I've ever had in my life SO I ALSO CAME OUT THANKS TO HER ☺️☺️ Life feels more manageable now which is great! It doesn't matter how low I'm feeling, when she comes to see me (twice a week for 5 hours) I feel so much more, well, like I'm actually here, and not just watching life happen behind glass I had trial and error like most people with carers, a lot of old people who got on my nerves and only knew about how to care for old people. I got given a carer mostly for my mental health than personal or physical so it took a while to find someone familiar with mental illness. I was basically in crisis when I first started, I was a terrible danger to myself, had agoraphobia and terrible depression however was unable to go into mental hospital due to having autism and PTSD. I have one regular career and if she's sick then I have no one else. I only want her! She helps me get out into my local town as well as makes sure I eat, take my meds and acts like a counselor TOO. She's so awesome and I feel like I can literally talk to her about anything! Thanks to her I'm even doing ballet classes which I've always wanted to do but could never have gone alone This is way longer than I wanted it to be and now I'm kinda emotional. But that's my story 🖤🖤🖤

[@polydactilism]

Congrats on finding a great support and living your best life!!!!

[@juliecipolla6732]

Thx so much! I have mental health symptoms and I need a carer. This gives me courage to ask for one.

[@rachelcookie321]

I feel like I probably need a carer. I’m 16 and have autism, anxiety and depression. I rely on my parents for lots of things. I can’t go anywhere by myself because I get so anxious. I really don’t want a carer though. I have this thing were I don’t like when people try to help me or tell me what’s best for me. I just want to do everything by myself and no one else to get involved unless I ask for help. Despite my extreme anxiety I did actually go to Japan on student exchange when I was 14. I was never alone during that trip, I went with other kids from my city and stayed with a host family but the only time I felt anxious during that trip was when I got overwhelmed when trying to pack my stuff to come home again. I just find it interesting that I can’t walk into school alone but I can fly to another country with people I don’t know very well.

[@airohtheenby]

Thank you for sharing! I think it’s really awesome that you asked for and were able to get the help you needed! Wishing you well 💕

[@amberwhittington8991]

As a caregiver myself, I'm glad that you've taken the time to explain what we really do. A LOT of people think we are only for "old folks". Over fifteen years as a caregiver, I have cared for ages 4 to 98.

[@sparkybish]

I love your good hair distraction technique.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

😏😉

[@leedent7260]

A good 12th Doctor quote from Doctor Who comes to mind "she's my carer, she cares so I don't have to" and that was about someone called Clara. 😂

[@airohtheenby]

I totally didn’t catch that and I love Doctor Who! Thank you for sharing 😂💕

[@KrisLenda]

Disabled in university would be a great video. I'm in university right now and I'd like to see the similarities and differences! I have cerebral palsy, so looking after a disabled body is a struggle I know far too well

[@annieinwonderland]

She has done one.. on the channel.

[@joshuacreel3000]

Oh my God Jessica the Clara cameo had me like full on cackling.

[@ArtichokeLuvvvr]

Not to delegitimise how you feel however, some organizations use the term service-user because it's a catch all term that doesn't require describing the individual who is access a service. If an organization supports HIV+ people and their families it makes more sense for them just to say 'service-user' instead of 'HIV+ people and those effected by HIV'. It also allows for more anonymity if they aren't public about their status. For some disability groups as well, 'service-user' includes Deaf people who consider being called disabled insulting. Basically its just a simpler term for them to use because not everyone their support is "disabled" or wants to be labelled as such.

[@Eva_R966]

Gethazzor3 that's an interesting note!

[@sebastianjdillingham]

(she is also Deaf)

[@h.m.perdue8358]

Gethazzor3 my mom calls them her clients.

[@danamariesmith8960]

i'm a caregiver in the states! so many people with disabilities have no idea about being eligible to hire a caregiver, so thank you for getting more information about it out there!

[@shalacarter9330]

Danamarie Smith hello! I live in America and I am on disability, so I would love to hear more about what is available for me. Thank you!

[@danamariesmith8960]

hi! it's similar in the way jessica describes in the video. for more information on it you can take a look here: www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/info-2018/hiring-caregiver.html

[@annieinwonderland]

For Australians it's Ndis

[@goldilockz6517]

Are you referring to a PCA? (In the US)

[@justinamoniz]

I find your thoughts on the term "service user" really interesting! I work with people who have experienced domestic or sexual violence and I started using the term "service user" because I didn't want to constantly being referring to everyone as "victims". Language is so important and this was a nice reminder of that.

[@OliverLamWatson]

I read Career also ah, but it tickled me when you addressed it in the intro haha , Awesome vid x

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Glad you stayed! ha ha xx

[@gorillaau]

It made me scroll up back to the title.. and yep. I had misread it also.

[@hle1606]

My brother is disabled so we had carers in and out of my house my whole life. Honestly it DOES matter so much how they get along with the family. I had never heard anyone else talk about this and I loved hearing your viewpoints! Love your videos Jessica!

[@plursocks]

I have a carer that comes in once a week just to help me get organized. My brain just cannot keep things organized and I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start when it comes to cleaning or find myself unable to stay focused on the task at hand. For a long time, I felt like I wasn't "disabled enough" to have a carer, even though I knew I would benefit greatly from having someone clean alongside me because I can't really do it by myself...and I was really embarrassed at my inability to clean and didn't want someone to judge me for the mess. But I've had nothing but positive experiences from my carer (though there's a lot of paperwork in the beginning which was kinda overwhelming). So ADHD folks, if cleaning makes you overwhelmed and you need help...just get a carer. It has really made a huge difference in my life.

[@cindygiesbrecht3146]

In Canada we call them 'health care worker/aids' or just and 'aid' or 'worker'. Usually I see them often at the gym with special needs people (a blind man, a girl with Downs, etc). I was thinking it's a miracle you didn't die in colllege! What if you had fallen face first in your vomit and then passed out? I'm so glad you're doing so well these days! Your will power is amazing.

[@YeetusTheFetus]

Idk where in Canada you are but in Toronto we also call them PSWs (personal support worker)

[@rewindandfreeze]

She reminds me of a passage from a Roald Dahl book. It says the good thoughts make people look better, because they shine out of their faces like sunbeams. She is such a beautiful person. You can tell she's been through the shit, but she came out smelling like a (english) rose.

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

My friend became a carer and they are only allowed to spend half an hour with the clients. It is below minimum wage and they are given hardly any time to allow for travel between client houses. She was waiting for a client to let her into this residential building for the elderly and she was outside like 20 minutes and then she got chewed for, "being late" when it was a client who wouldn't open the door for her. Whole thing is such a mess.

[@ecologist_to_be]

DrGrukar McNinjaSixthGun depends on who you work for as you can have anything from 15 minutes a day to 24 hours a day!

[@ellizpicetti]

Yeah, I am a care giver and this is pretty accurate.

[@jaet4540]

How can she be paid less that minimum wage? Minimum wage is a legal requirement, anything less is illegal

[@shinynickel05]

It'd be a massive HIPAA violation to ask details, and please don't give them, but I feel like I worked for exactly that client before when I was still a carer. Her landline phone was also connected to the door buzzer, so I had to dial in, but she'd be on the phone forever despite knowing I was coming back from grocery shopping, so I would be unable to reach her and get stuck outside with her frozen food in 90 degree (30-something Celsius) heat. Then she'd yell at me once I actually managed to get inside (by following other peoples' carers into the building) for not waiting to be buzzed in. I quit that gig after a couple weeks. It was AWFUL. I went on to have many amazing, wonderful clients whom I totally clicked with, so I guess the lesson there is, if the system where you are allows you to get out of a bad situation, get out ASAP. Keep searching until you find the right clients for you. I spent five years as a carer and, after switching careers to office management, even took on a part time caring gig again on the side for the past year and a half.

[@anyawillowfan]

I have a care agency and the carers are treated awfully by management for sub-par pay and unreliable hours (many complain of too many hours when others are complaining of not enough). Unfortunately the only way for them to be paid more would be to charge the clients more, when most of us cannot afford it (I'm lucky to get government money but if I were able to get PIP most of it would go straight to the care agency). Working as a private carer or PA is usually slightly better paid (as well as giving you more control over what you do and who you care for) as everything except tax and insurance goes to the carer rather than a company. That said, I am someone who needs care agencies as most private carers aren't able/willing to only come round for 30 minutes twice a day.

[@lisakukla459]

I'm that one person. 🙂 But with my mobility issues, being relatively new to the disability system (a year and a half), and living alone as well as having to navigate it all on my own, I've been considering utilizing these types of services. I've also only just recently realized that I have Autism at the age of 38 (but oh boy, does that explain a lot!), and I'm realizing that a thing I've really struggled with on and off my whole life actually has a name - executive function - and that I could probably get a lot of relief in that regard from someone dropping in every couple of days to help keep me on track, or help me catch up. My physical issues are episodic, and I'm not strictly homebound, so I feel weird about having a carer. Embarrassed, ashamed, foolish? I can't really articulate what exactly the hang-up is. I'm sure the universal stigma of being a drain on society, being lazy, exploiting the government (they can't be serious about this one, can they?), boondoggling, etc., that goes along with people who have disabilities or Autism isn't easily shaken off, either. After having watched this video, though, I'm realizing it's pretty silly that I haven't even called the phone number to so much as find out what it's really like and how it all works before deciding it's not appropriate for me. I shall make that a goal for Monday. They really should provide you an advocate once your disability claim is approved. I'm sure there's many programs out there that I qualify for and would benefit from that I have no idea about. Thousands of other people as well. I feel like that's by design. 😒 Thank you for going over this topic. It's given me the nudge I needed, and will hopefully lead to a slightly easier and more fulfilling daily experience. That sounds lovely.

[@juliecipolla6732]

boy do i identify! thx for articulating it so clearly!

[@frentbow]

If in the UK request Advocacy from local authority social services or Google Advocacy +your area. I've just had a care needs assessment now I'm confused so I'm going to request Advocacy to help me understand. Good luck

[@Confeggi_davis]

Those pearls look stunning on you!

[@Elizabethsfasting]

I am an HCA or a ‘carer’ and working on my CNA and I want to say a huge thank you! There is such a stigma around both needing the help and providing the help. The more we talk about it the less of a stigma there is!

[@clairej81]

This has helped me massively. Being young and disabled is hard no one seems to think you need help and will just get on with it.

[@haileyparlette8083]

I have been a caregiver (until may of this year) for over a decade. It was really interesting to hear from some one who recieves care. I mostly worked with dementia so my residents couldn't exactly relay their personal experience. I started watching your channel because I am now dealing with chronic pain and mobility issues myself. Still waiting on a diagnosis. Thankfully I can still handle my ADL's though my house is a mess and I wash my hair as infrequently as I can. 😊 💖💕

[@charlottemaclean204]

As a carer I feel very shocked at the treatment you had received, I worked with a company and we had teams with a few service users per team that we cared for. That way the individual had the proper care and we knew everything that they needed, I loved it and we had great bonds, I'm glad that Clara is your carer xx

[@vikingqueenmaddy2754]

I have ehlers danlos syndrome, chronic pain, crohn's disease, chronic migraines and more. I'm 29 and have used a walking stick for the past 11 years, a wheelchair on serious days for the past 6 years. I used to be so embarrassed about my disabilities and my equipment but then I found your channel. Thank you so much for letting people see us as normal 🖤

[@Diamond123682]

I saw "career" at first glance, but then I read it correctly and, honestly, got even more interested. Also, leave this to the fact that I'm still kinda new here, but I didn't know that about Clara! I thought she was just a *really* good friend.

[@thedukeofweasels6870]

I relate to this I don't have a care worker but I do get nurse visits to bandage in chronic wounds and having someone with the right personality makes a huge difference I've had people that I couldn't stand I know they're gonna do everything wrong and it's not even worth explaining to them because we're just not on the same page. Luckily there's this one nurse I've had that is absolutely amazing and I consider her a good friend she's put so much work in there she's nice and pleasant and makes the experience as pleasant as possible. She even followed me when I moved across town despite the fact I'm now in a district she doesn't normally cover. Having someone that takes the time to listen to you and do what's necessary to relieve your pain even if it's not the conventional standard is so important when trying to live with any kind of illness.

[@shesaysdisco]

Clara’s hair is absolutely gorgeous! I love that color on her, especially with the lip color! I’m so glad you make videos like these. I’m not disabled, and no one in my immediate family is either, so I always learn a lot from you. Also, your positivity is really uplifting and I appreciate it so much! I have pretty severe depression and anxiety, but you never fail to cheer me up at least a little. Much love from the US! ❤️

[@juliecipolla6732]

i have depression, anxirty and ptsd. i am disabled bec of it. i learned there is a whole community of fellow disabled people out there who have such strong spirits and who are amazing like me!

[@OliviasCatastrophe]

Thanks for sharing this! I'm my sister's primary carer for the time being and we're good friends. We're in the UK so this just gave us a lot of tips for things we can do! You absolutely don't get a pamphlet and I wish we all did 😭 I'm glad things are solid with your carer now :)

[@xXCiciliaXx]

I'm a certified nurse aide in Michigan! Being a carer is difficult but also rewarding. I'm glad that you have a great carer and a great wife to help you.

[@ClaireRousseau]

Oh, I'm glad you're making another video with Clara. It was fun to see her pop in but I was like 'what? but I want more Clara!'. Don't think I can make the stream live but I'll look forward to catching it afterwards.

[@sakaradee]

Claire Rousseau I thought that too! And glad it will be avalible after the event :")

[@foxclouds]

Absolutely love this video. I have been wondering about the carers in your life. Thank for being so open about it. I also laughed when Clara appeared in the frame 🤣 I would like to know what Clara had to learn to assist you and how she manages to work with you, be your friend and deal with anxiety. You are so lovely! Thank you for your videos!!

[@maureenzieber1523]

Clara “hola!” I CRACKED up. 😂

[@sarahwithstars]

I lasted 42 seconds lipreading today. I do love that your annunciated conjunctions are clear...I spotted your 'hence' a mile off. Xxxx edit2: at 42secs I realised I needed every word of content and put the sound back on! Edit: holy shiz, I started uni 12weeks after spinal fusion. Because I was off Fentanyl and SO much better than just before my surgery but I was not ready for. My mum drove 300mile round trip every 10days to do all my laundry, shopping, take my library books back to the library 300m away and get new books and collect everything I had ordered online from the post room that was less than 10minute walk away from my room but I couldn't carry! That was a fun term....

[@triciarose389]

sarahwithstars // I suck at lip-reading, so I only lasted like ..... 0 seconds. 😬😂

[@diamondsxd7765]

I just tried and I lasted about 9 and then was lost, so good job.:)

[@shalacarter9330]

Your mother should be sainted!

[@daphnelecesne2618]

Wonderful, wonderful mom. Why does no one want to go to college locally, so to be close to the people who care?

[@EmilyBrown-ql9mf]

I’m now a career with a girl who is like one of my best friends we have such a laugh and amazing adventures..we use the title of buddy rather than career or PA it fits our relationship best

[@EveryDayALittleDeath]

I've only had a carer breifly, after I'd had severe pneumonia and became severely deconditioned due to spending weeks in a hospital bed but I still found this video extremely relatable. My condition also follows no schedule and doesn't give a crap what my plans are. Also college/uni being extremely difficult due to health problems (though in my case it was the commute that killed me, as under my disability classification, I could only be a part-time student) This is as good a video as any to tell you how much you mean to me Jessica. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as chronic physical illness and seeing another disabled lesbian being so happy and in love and successful gives me hope that I can get there too one day. Thank you so, so much.

[@strawberrysyrup13]

Very off topic! But vintage style suits you so well I CANNOT imagine you in any other clothing/style :) you are absolutely a dream ♥️

[@ekl1457]

I was a PA for a child with ASD and adored it but loved seeing your take as an adult. So interesting and very educational.

[@lowrishepherd434]

I became physically disabled at 22 and it was only through the biggest coincidence that my dad was retiring from teaching so luckily he was able to be my career, I also have a fantastic fiancé who I’d been with since I was 19 so it’s very lucky that I can have the help that I need but as my dad is getting older I do worry about how much he’ll be able to care for me in the future and I also want him to be able to have the breaks he needs as well, this is exactly the video I needed right now because I had no idea how to go about getting another carer who isn’t a family member or friend, will have to look into all of this, also my fiancé has a full time job so he can’t be my carer but he helps me to shower and things like that when I need it, I completely get where you’re coming from though about being young and disabled and not wanting to draw attention to yourself! It’s something that a lot of people struggle with but no one ever talks about so thank you for a very refreshing video xxx

[@JixieDyeAuthor]

Oh goshy gosh I have been through so much of what you've talked about. I used to have an agency and I hated it for two specific reasons 1, because they never told me what time they would turn up, they just expected me to wait in all day for them and 2, because I hated not knowing who was going to come. Some of the carers I had were complete disasters, like the polish woman who got upset because I didn't have any dairy free milk for her tea in the house and said 'fine if you want me to drink this and get ill then I will' and the woman who literally reached across to my plate mid lunch and stole half my sandwiches even though I'd asked her if she wanted me to buy her a sandwich and she insisted that she didn't and then stole mine. There was also the carer that was verbally abusive and called me a 'bell end' or rather screamed it at me. Now I have 2 personal assistants or PA's as I call them and they are fabulous. They're actually cousins. I met the first one when she covered for another PA I had at the time and I just kept her on because she's awesome and the second one is actually the first one's cousin who came round one day just randomly and then we hit it off like crazy. Now I love them because they boss me about a lot when I forget to do things. I have sight issues and ADHD as well as other mental illnesses so I often get distracted or forget things and they keep my brain on task which I love.

[@JixieDyeAuthor]

Also Jessica I would totally love to collaborate and do a video together. I know that might sound crazy but hey if you don't ask you don't know right?

[@DresdenShuffle]

I'm a carer. Have been since I was 16 and I'm 30 now. I care for my mother who has multiple debilitating mental illnesses (from abuse as a child and genetic predisposition) Life hasn't been easy because of my job. It's a full time job and it can be very full on, especially with someone who has mental illnesses. She's getting more independent now thanks to outside help which gives me a break every now and then.

[@ZairaBandy]

and who pays you?

[@melissas4226]

I also read career and just stayed for the whole thing, it was super interesting

[@shaunamckelly6236]

Hi, Jessica, I did misread the title, but I stayed for the video. As a woman with cerebral palsy who uses a wheelchair and needs help with most of my daily activities, I could relate to so much of what you talked about in this video. I live in the United States, so the structure and hassles are slightly different. I am happy that you are doing better now, and I hope that you continue to have success and enjoy life. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

[@Mush27]

I have worked in the care industry for the last 12 years, and you are totally right, no one ever really knows what is available to them (especially direct payments). I have worked as a manager of Domicilary care for the last 5 years with several companies and the experience will depend on how Person centred the Company is and also how flexible they can be (previous company we would go above and beyond to support someone How and when they needed it). Im so pleased that you made this video to show its not an embarassing thing to need help!

[@Lov3E15]

My dad is a quadriplegic and getting a good carer for him is impossible! The government won’t give us money because he was injured in a car accident, car insurance only provides 7hrs a day (for a guy who needs 24hr care) and all the extra care needs are expected to be covered by his family (all expect his wife to help out but she passed in the accident and all his kids are less than 25yo and most busy in university). The past year has been too hard dealing with getting him adequate coverage.

[@wheelie26]

I can’t stand agency carers, you never know who is going to turn up and when you think you know who’s coming they change it at last minute then there are the carers who you don’t get on with, only once I rang an agency to ask that a person not come to the house again but she still turned up for the next two days despite more phone calls. I have now decided to go down the direct payments route and hope that I can find someone as cool as Clara.

[@djamelreilly5433]

Thank you Jessica, I work as a bartender and after having a deaf guest one day (I failed drastically) I decided to learn Bsl from a book. I have now plateaued but your videos really help. Just wanna say thanks for all the effort. 😊🙏

[@rebeccawiens4224]

I read career, but I'm subscribed to you so I know better. I'm so sorry that you had such awful experiences in the past. I'm also glad that you have Clara with you now. Having someone take care of you is no shame. I hope that this video will help other people out there who could benefit from having a carer.

[@clarissagarvey7080]

"Sadly you don't become disabled and get handed a pamphlet on all of the wonderful services you can now use." This hit so hard for me! It's frustrating to have to figure this out yourself. I wish doctors were better at helping with this when you get diagnosed.

[@znyznyzny]

am I the only one that read carer correctly? 😆

[@STT511]

🙋🏼

[@spacemonkey340]

I did, too.

[@heiditrampedach2084]

Me three 😁

[@manuelbonet]

I clicked precisely because it said _carer_

[@unicorn1655]

Probably

[@melannpurl]

I am from Australia and my son has disability funding for his autism and OCD. Last year we did government payments but this year we opted for a "plan manager". Its sort of a middle ground where my son and I can make all the decisions about who to hire but the plan manager (accountant) will handle all the money and make sure we are on track not to run out etc. Its made life much easier for us.

[@BlinkPopShift]

My husband provides most of the care I need when I am stuck with long migraines and also functions as semi replacement for my lost long term memory. I'm trying with my most recent video series to use technology to take on the lost memory functions but the physical needs are still his job. Getting a carer in the US is out of my budget and because we have insurance instead of NHS they will go to the ends of the earth to not pay for things. I'd love to hear from Clara about what she does everyday and how she learned and feels about the job.

[@CoraBorealis]

As a person who has a chronic illness and also worked as a carer, this video was amazing to watch and incredibly informative. I felt such a connection to you, I had to drop out of university because of my chronic illness and became very unwell because I couldn't care for myself well enough. I'm finally well enough that I've worked as a carer for a year and now I'm going to university to do occupational therapy so hopefully I can help people like us. I still have to live at home and work part time but I'm getting there. You've given me so much hope for the future that even if I get ill again and need care myself, hopefully I will still be able to function. Thank you for this video.

[@ellawhomersley4340]

Ooh as someone becoming increasingly disabled whilst at the first year of uni I'd very much appreciate your disabled at uni video!

[@GeorginasJourney]

Yes! I’d love to see a university experience video! I’m starting in September & am so excited but also so nervous about how I’ll manage uni with a disability 😬

[@LesleyMLK]

Georgina's Journey I would love to know too! Thanks Jessica for this video 😊

[@GeorginasJourney]

LesleyMichelle2000 good luck if you’re going to uni with an illness/disability too!

[@LesleyMLK]

Georgina's Journey Unfortunately I will not be able to got to uni next year because of my ME/CFS, but hopefully the year after. In the meantime I'll be following your uni journey. That is if you're going to continue your channel... 😊❤️

[@GeorginasJourney]

LesleyMichelle2000 taking time out to focus on rest and healing is really beneficial in the long run! I took two years out and am so glad I did as I’m so much better at managing my symptoms now and knowing my limits (and you will too in time 😊). Thank you! I’m hoping to keep my channel going and show what life is like at university with chronic illnesses, as well as giving tips as I discover them along the way :)

[@abinamikaze]

Get as much help with uni as you can! I'm going into year 3 with more conditions than skittle flavours, and It's been easier than I thought it would be. Pacing and good support network is key (as well as staying at home!). Also get DSA ASAP!

[@Kati-fy7uj]

Hi Jessica Would it be possible for you to make a video on sign language interpreters as I am studying to be one Thanks Love your videos

[@HAngeli]

Krazie kat I'm also interested in that!

[@nataliem7144]

Tip: get out into the deaf community as much as possible (to practice, and also to get to know the people who will likely be hiring you) and keep studying as much as you can. There's a huge difference between a level 2 communicator who isn't quite confident yet, and a level 6 who has decades of practice, but you'll get there :)

[@TexBirdie]

I would love to see that video about being disabled in university! I learned bad self care habits during that time that took me years to overcome- I wish I knew someone with first hand experience to caution me before

[@malliaher7071]

How long has Clara been your caretaker? What is Clara's work schedule like? Also, do you have to supplement her pay since you mentioned that direct pay lacks proper funding?

[@eleanormarshall455]

I'm a Personal Assistant for autistic adults and I found this video fascinating! It was really enlightening to hear the perspective of the 'Care-ee'. Thank you Jessica!

[@LecheVitrineUK]

We have direct payments for my daughter through an agency because I can't deal with paperwork. I'm autistic ADHD and other issues my doctor says I should have a p.a. But then the government took away my PIP and said that I wasn't autistic and they completely traumatized me. thank you for doing this video x

[@HeyItsZee_]

Laura Jaine that is awful! Im,sorry

[@elanag.8102]

That would be me~ I was that human that thought it said career, and still stuck around till the end and loved it :)

[@piscesgagamonster]

man, you talking about your time university almost made me cry. Im glad it got better at least

[@cheyanntheawkwardcactus9652]

I read this as career...and then realized as I clicked on it what you actually put....I'm not disabled or have many people I know with a disability that makes then need a care giver, but I enjoy learning about these things so that in better able to befriend people who are different then me.....also I just really love you're style and voice

[@Mobile_Dom]

having been a carer and having a degree in it (huzzah) I also despise the term Service user. just seems so clinical in an inherently personal profession

[@shinynickel05]

When talking about the job with friends, I'd always refer to them as my clients, but on the job, I generally just let each person choose how they wanted to be referred to and what they wanted to call me. If someone's new to the system and wants to just introduce me as their friend or helpful neighbor because they're struggling to come to terms with a change in independence level, that's totally cool. If they want to stick to professional terms to reinforce professional boundaries, also totally cool. But, yeah, service user is a really weird, needlessly obtuse, vague, and distant term. No one actually ever opted for that.

[@brookepeters-pleasant4589]

We use the term "participant" here in Australia & I'm a Support Worker

[@twinstarssystem2857]

i'm really worried about my future, because my family is unhelpful at best when it comes to disability, and i want to get as far away from them as possible, but i also cannot live alone. i can't cook or clean or really function like a abled person, so it's pretty reassuring to hear that carers are something that are possible to get as a young person even if it's not easy

[@tk2557]

"who you don't really care about seeing you naked as long as they stop the pain" could not stop crying at this

[@kimheyman8418]

After reading the comments I am glad I am not the only person who read career! Just stumbled upon your account about half an hour ago and I can’t stop watching! I am learning so many different things.

[@ams23ish]

definitely please do a video with Clara, she looks really cool!

[@MadamePastisset]

Anna Styr she is! 😀

[@caitlinelliott7005]

I have chronic pain and last year thought it would be great to move in with my best friend who was super enthusiastic about helping me whenever I needed, as it's rare enough that I'd never qualify for a carer. It was a good idea that went bad very quickly, sure he was happy to make me a cup of tea or fill my hot water bottle, but after a few months I was getting worse and he was getting busy, and instead of just telling me he no longer felt he could offer me any help he just, well, ignored me. A little awkward when we were living in a 2 bed flat & it did cost us our relationship but it was quite the learning experience. None of my friends have any issues with daily tasks or any form of disability, so I do like watching your videos to hear how other people handle and experience these kinds of things. Also your hair is amazing

[@impanduhhh6860]

Please make the Uni video, I plan on going to Sussex university but any first hand information about being disabled and studying would be amazing! also anything about being disabled in brighton would be lovely!

[@rustypplskillz]

I work as a carer in Sweden (we call it personal assistant) and it was super interesting to hear about how it all works in the UK and to get your perspective on it all. Thank you for sharing!

[@AmyChou]

This is off topic but Clara’s hair is absolutely gorgeous!!

[@julirogers3131]

Had carer from the get go. I spent years as a P.C.A./ Direct Support Aid and Certified Nurse Aid. (US) I love watching your videos. You mix real with humor and sometimes real with all the grit and tears that come with it.

[@Carolynbearolyn]

Yep, brain totally read “career” 😂. I actually work as a carer in an assisted living facility here in the States, so this was a wonderful topic!

[@theuniquebean]

I am my children’s care worker. It will be an interesting transition once they reach the age of adulthood, finding someone else. I feel that I will continue to help others as I know first hand how hard it is to find help and people who actually care. This was a great video.

[@200yearsago]

I'd been avoiding this video because I kept reading career and thought it'd make me feel bad for being in my twenties and unable to do fuck all but I'm glad I finally watched it. :)

[@stephieclaire5497]

I'm a carer in a residential home and it truly is the best job I have ever had. Meeting the people whom I get to support is remarkable the things they "you" over come every day and the way "you" they have to just accept that these people are here to help you in any way you need. I also love your comment on the carer caree relationship I couldn't agree more. It really is about being the person that the people you support needs you to be !

[@drcloudy]

. . . . I have had this video in my recommended at least twenty times. Literally every time I thought it said "Having a CAREER in your 20s" and so I didn't click it because that topic doesn't interest me. Holy crap.

[@timecrayon]

Although I'm not disabled myself your videos are really helpful, not only from a "I want to know more about different people's lives" kind of way, but also considering that anyone could be in this situation one day, so it's great to know about everything that could and should be done! Thank you so much, Jessica!

[@prosethorns]

"I'm just a ... giant." Subscribed. I'm 6 ft tall. Let's be friends together with interesting hair and problems we tidy away.

[@clarienne7583]

Hi, I'm 6'6" and do historical swordfighting as a hobby. 😅 Can I join the giants club?

[@VoodooAngel63]

I did think it was a misspelling at first but almost immediately recognized the term. I am getting to the point that I am needing a carer and it was helpful to hear what you look for in a person to help you. Thank you for this.

[@N7Biotic]

great video. I have a genetic condition which has definitely got worst in age. I'm in my mid-20s and feel like someone much older, as I have very bad mobility problems now. This video has opened my eyes, that there is help for anyone. I want to live independently very soon. so I might look into the caring system.

[@breathelectric56]

(I’m from the US) I really like how an actual person comes to you to assess your individual situation instead of just filling out paperwork... this provides so much CONTEXT for the person’s needs. 🙌🏻 Love it.

[@theannieelainey]

This was amazing! Thank you for sharing!! I would love to be able to hire a carer, have to look into it ❤

[@ellenwardlindley4398]

I am facing the daunting reality of needing a carer and this has been really helpful to know! Also - your hair really is beautiful.

[@zweij]

You look stunning! Your hair is mesmerising gurl.....! Im gonna sub, your storytelling skills are awesome!

[@Aster81]

Yeap, read 'career' but I'm sure you got more than just one person misreading that stayed until the end. :) You're super engaging, very informative and absolutely interesting to watch.

[@Eva-dy9qy]

Lovely and super informative video even for someone who has no direct experience on caring - also ARE THOSE FISHES ON YOUR DRESS I love it

[@lizziejacobdennison5268]

Dyslexic! I read career, but I found this really interesting. So glad you found Clara after such a struggle. My brother has a carer and I know it's a bumpy road finding the right set up, he is very happy with his now and so are we. Thanks for this :)

[@simv_]

I'm going to use "happy as Larry" from now on, its such a great phrase!

[@simv_]

"SHE BOSSED ME AROUND LIKE NO TOMORROW" PAULINE SOUNDS LIKE A MFING BOSS CAN I HAVE ONE OF HER

[@salan3]

What amazes me about your videos and gives me so much boost is that you appear so 'up beat' . I spend so much time with zero energy and feeling like I am either 'tripped out' or very drunk. (neither are true!). If its not to personal, I would like to know more about how you get on with the hygiene side of things. (going to the loo, showering, just washing, Feminine aspects etc) I am male but that is the side I am finding harder and harder (just been diagnosed with arthritis of the spine to add to the mix!). I love the way you are prepared to talk about things. They are often 'not spoken about in public!'. Like a lot of people in similar situations, it is difficult to not let things drag you down. So it is great to hear about people like yourselves that have been there and manage to have a life.x

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

I have always thought your friendship with Clara is amazingly wonderful! I love her hair the color it is now! Looking forward to Sunday’s video! I would like to know (1)whether it was you or Clara who had the idea for her to be your carer and (2)how that first conversation about it happened!

[@TingleTetra]

Quadriplegic here, going on 10 years now. I have to have 24-hour care as I live on my own. The stuff you said just rang so loud and true, particularly when you started talking about your university experiences. I get those long periods of time when I am fine and can be on my own or with friends and then I'll have suddenly I need for my carer to take charge and know what's best. Continuity of care is so important! Brilliant video, Brilliant hair! XX

[@steph5630]

I’ve watched this video about 8 times! I had my care needs assessment today and am VERY excited at the prospect of finally having a carer. A friend of mine is a carer and we are comparing schedules to see if we can make it work through direct payments. I had to choose an agency to support and that was so hard! I just chose the one with the most accessible website 😫 Thankyou again Jessica for talking about these experiences. I’m working towards being well enough to finish my degree and a video on disability at university would be amazing! 🤍🤍🤍

[@Sam..123]

Being a carer is my career so was hoping for insight in both and got it. Thank you!❤

[@blossomoranges]

new video!! best part of my week 💖💖💖 you're a wonderful lady and i adore you!

[@reitakitty1]

This is probably the first video i ever watched from this channel! and, honestly, i definitely thought this was about having a career! But as someone who is graduating from a masters degree in psychology and neuroscience, and is struggling with career choices, i found this incredibly educating! Every now and again i consider working as a carer, and whilst i find the concept appealing, hearing your side has helped me realise, that whilst my heart might be in the right place... myself as an anxious 23 year old psych graduate is unlikely to be the right fit for those that need it! This probably sounds very negative, but it's a blessing! I want to help people, but if i'm not up to the task, then i'm just wasting peoples time, and possibly risking them becoming ill! I believe myself to have so many ways i can help, so i shall endeavour to find those! and be a positive to everyone that i can!