Being Someone You're Not

Being Something Your Not? Family, friends, co-workers? How about KZbinrs? Do any try to be something they are not? I tell my story about how I started on KZbin just trying to "please" those around me and I became very depressed and almost quit KZbin because I could not be my true self....until a dramatic turning point. I talk about my mother and if I felt I could be my true self around her...and then we get to friends:)! I take a walk through Veterans Park in Grand Rapids and from there we talk about people being their authentic selves.
Thank you all for being here...welcome new subscribers!!! I pray for our nation every week and I hope everybody here is safe and finding some happiness in their lives this summer. I know it's not easy.
Thank you for being here..thank you for praying for Bill in the nursing home and thank you for lifting me up when I get a bit blue. Your wisdom never ceases to amaze me.
If you have ve been in a situation where you could not be your true self, please share your store if have time or the desire.
Love always to you all,
Susan & Desi
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[@BedfordFalls7]

Hi, I will say my mother was a very good mom. She was good to me. She was a housewife. Mom to three children. Two boys and a girl. She worked like a dog cleaning the home and cooking for all of us. She was always doing her best. Never put herself ahead of us. Now here is the thing. Susan, you spoke of being your authentic self. Sadly I don't think my mom ever got to be that because of her mother and even her father. One day I actually thought about how my mother may not have been all that happy. I just assumed she was. My father was a good man. He worked in Insurance and dressed for the office everyday while mom was home. She cleaned all day. Even as I left for school I didn't even make my bed. None of us did. But she made it. Never spoke up and told me to get up a bit earlier to make it. I did this right until I got married at 22. I feel terrible about this. My dad while being a good provider and wonderful father to us all, didn't bring home flowers for my mother. And I now see that he should have. I could go on and on and many may not appreciate that. I want to say I do know who I am and never not show it. But my mothers parents told her things like "You better do this and do that for your husband" or else you will be a bad women. "You take good care of your man and home. Be a good wife. So that's what she did. Now both parents have passed on and only recently after living my own adult life, did I come to realize I saw my mother as a mother and not the 'person' she was. I was a shy kid who loved animals. My older brother picked on me. So I held my head down when I'd walked to school. Eventually after having a child and going through a divorce, dealing with panic attacks, and then being in another non loving marriage, I found myself. I love my daughter and I'm a good mom and 'friend' to her. I'm outgoing and funny. I have dealt with some very hard times, but after 55, I would say I know my authentic self. My daughter and I have had deep talks. Unlike me and my mom. Not her fault, just a different time back then. I just wish I could have my mother back to tell her how wonderful she was and how I now see what a wonderful mom she was but even more, what a great lady and sweet person she was. And I would be so grateful if I could ask her if she was happy back then and how did she feel about life. I wish I could know what my mom used to feel.

[@LittlePoet]

This was so moving Melinda....abslsouly beautiful tribute to your Mother and yourself. What a phenomenal woman you are...thank you, Susan

[@BedfordFalls7]

@@LittlePoet Thank you Susan. I think very highly of you and appreciate your kind words.

[@carolsailer1395]

My parents married at 41 & 42...their first & only marriage..my mom was 43 when she had me...only child... My dad was a farmer & my mom stayed home...she did a lot!! She mowed all the lawn on the farm she probably mowed 6 acres...she believed in having a nice yard...she had a big garden & took care of all that!! She also had beautiful flowers!! My mom also took care of the house...at the age of 55 my dad passed away from a massive heart attack...my mom & I continued to live on the farm..she rented out the farm land & kept up the yard & garden...my mom grew up in the depression & they grew up where you didn’t show your feelings...my dad rarely gave my mom gifts...my mom & I had a difficult relationship & I know what you are talking about how my mom did things & didn’t complain...I tried not to make things difficult, I tried not to make more work for my mom...I did help outside & mow lawn, I know I should have helped with more things...My mom believed in talking once a week it was long distance...mom usually called me, she didn’t want me to spend the extra money even when I got a cell phone...she insisted...the last few years of her life she had so much pain & I felt so bad for her & I would cringe when talking to her...because she just would complain all the time, I know it wasn’t right & I feel horrible!! My mom passed away coming 5 yrs in Nov...we spent her last week together & I think we finally closely bonded...she was in the hospital... Was funny, at the beginning of that week I grabbed her hand & she gave me a dirty look like why hold my hand??? The day she passed away I held her hand & she grabbed it back...that is when I knew she was close to death...she passed away surrounded by her grandchildren & me...

[@Myover50fashionlife]

What a fabulous topic. I think its not us that is insecure, i think some people make us feel insecure as they are not relaxed and genuine.

[@StephanieJoRountree]

Melinda, I'm so lucky to still have my mother. She just turned 95. Wow! She has deep thoughts, even though she has short-term memory loss. I love every minute I have with her.

[@teresastackhouse6690]

I had a conversation with a friend years ago. She asked me, What would you do if everyone you knew was in a room together? How would you act? Would you even know how to act? How could you play all those roles at once?" I've thought alot about that. I've been told most of my life that I feel too deeply--that I'm overly sensitive. My ex-husband would try to convince me that my "feelings were wrong." My current supervisor often comments that "my emotions are stronger than other team members." My sensitivity isn't my weakness. It's my superpower. I'm the person you want sitting next to you when the world has gone to shit. After a lifetime of being told that I need to function on everyone else's emotional bandwidth for their comfort level, I'm finally done with that. I think other folks need to ask themselves why the strength of my emotions makes them so uncomfortable.

[@LittlePoet]

I am standing up cheering reading this Teresa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Preach it girl!!!! I agree!!!

[@Mexicobeanpole]

I love this post so much!

[@bigmesa9460]

Teresa I felt like you were describing me!

[@patsycloninger2216]

Teresa Stackhouse - my mother understood this about me, and nurtured me and gave me time and space to share feelings with her. She was wise and understood the value of "A Highly Sensitive Person" long before the psychological research was completed. I am so grateful she did. It made some other painful experiences much as you have shared, somewhat less painful. We are a great asset to those we're around, they're not always wise enough to appreciate at the time. So much has now been written on this subject confirming the strengths and gifts we have. Thank you for your message. X X

[@theresew9910]

Hi my name is also Therese and it’s uncanny how much this sounds like me thank you 😊

[@paulalaye6428]

Hey Susan, always soooo good to see you again... I lost my mummy six years ago and talk to her everyday and that helps a little... But my psychiatrist told me, after a suicide attempt, that "Dont let anyone dim your sparkle" and that is sooo true I think.. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Paula In UK

[@MyHelga1]

I agree. Sometimes being by myself is the least lonely place to be....

[@pattimiller9577]

Hello from Vancouver island Canada. I have found your videos just in the last while and loved them. I am 65 and I love makeup and face creams and all the things. You are very beautiful and I love that you find good products that are not expensive. I have bought rose oil and love it. You said that you dont have age spots on your hands so I do and was wondering what you could recommend I use. Please keep up the videos they are so helpful in many ways. Patti

[@jerseystotler3615]

Wow I really enjoyed this video for some reason it reminded me of being in Michigan at John Ball Park they had a Komodo Dragon there of course I had to see it cause they facinate me. Your videos are so thoughtful I really liked Grand Rapids Michigan I ran around that area for about 10 years and Im from Illinois I live on a little farm in SW Missouri now just me and my dags and cats I moved here at 62 will never regret it. I love being in nature ❤🥰❤Kisses to you and Desi ❤🥰❤

[@OlderWomenRock]

Wonderful as always Susan . I have a lot to say about this topic . Nothing will bring it to the forefront more than starting a KZbinr Channel . We all have a public persona , everybody . Finding that fine line and it truly feels like a fine line on KZbin is actually rather confronting . “ just be yourself they said “ Me ....but which self lol Another philosophy “ when are you not yourself ? “ even a fake you is yourself , perhaps not authentic though . I feel rather strongly about women conforming to what is expected so I’ve chosen ( yes after trying ) to not be sugary sweet because that’s not me . I think People watch because they can identify with us or they’d like in some way to be more like us . I’ve accepted that you can’t please everybody , I’m never going to be everybody’s cuppa . I’ve also decided recently to avoid being clone like to speak out more about some of my thoughts and beliefs . 😊💞💞

[@LittlePoet]

You are so wise and watching you I can tell you know exactly who you are...and that comes across. No I do'nt suppose we want to get on soapboxes every week...LOL...and it's funny...I have strong opinions but I have never been tempted to venture there...I wonder whY? I am so happy to see you! I miss you!

[@OlderWomenRock]

LittlePoet Susan Id love to hear some of your opinions . I think the woman who subscribe to you will find it of value even if they don’t always agree. We can be a nice woman , a good woman and still have our viewpoints . 😊💞💞

[@JayneNicoletti]

The problem is most of the women commenting have narcissist Mothers. I know because I had one. If society let us not like our Moms and stop with the fake BS of "but she is your Mom" we would be more forgiving and happier. I always was my authentic self because I was always told not to be by the person who should of let me. So it worked out lol. It would of been nice to be supported but the silver lining is it made me a better stepmom AND have more compassion. Based on your videos, it seemed that has happened to you too. 💕

[@Rose-px6cg]

I’ll tell some jokes and lies and call it a relationship 😂

[@tonimilstead5089]

Always uplifting to watch your channel. I found men so difficult that I never married. I am not a man hater, but I let them make me feel bad about myself at times. I was engaged twice and both of them wanted a mother instead of a wife. I just couldn't find one that would meet me half way or even 60/40. It always had to be about them and I wasn't willing to change. At 65, I really don't have that many regrets. I have lots of nieces and nephews who have kids and lots of friends and am not lonely. I would love to have some grandchildren, but that's rather difficult without children:-) Anyway, I found there are worse things in life than being single. Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. I have so much inner peace from Jesus. He is the only way to get true inner peace.

[@Jkaye13]

Yes! You are so right.. Yeshua is everything we will ever need! I met a man in college when l wasn't looking, and l know he was placed in my life by Yahweh.. and l married him and know that he loves me deeply. When l read others stories, l realize how blessed l really am, and l am grateful, and thank Yahweh every day. 💗

[@peggyharris3815]

Have you ever been clothes shopping with friends and they tell you how good you look in something...you buy it...2 weeks later, at home, you try it on and wonder "WHY DID I CONSENT TO THIS? " (and it wasn't cheap). I now shop alone and have no regrets.

[@pamelacorsi]

My mother died last year. She was not capable of loving me, the oldest of her three daughters. I was daddy's girl, I was bold, I was independent. She actually said that I ask too many questions. She was never proud of my accomplishments in my career. All the reasons my father loved me, she disliked me for. I had to be guarded with her my whole life, (65 years), be careful not to share too much for fear of her criticism or indifference because it hurt so much. I now realize I was everything she was not and maybe wished to be.

[@lilibetfellinger8641]

Absolutely spot on for me too. I found comfort and gratitude in the thoughts that they worked hard to provide a superior life and education for us. This comforted me. My beautiful, brave granddaughter and I held her hand that night,she kept telling us she loved us. When she slipped into her final sleep we were there, we loved her and would never let her down....even though LittlePoet hit the nail on the head..."you never saw my face". Im okay in my heart and I used my mother's money to buy the finest watch for my granddaughter,in memory of a special time we shared, holding hands until time drifted away....thank you L P. Just love you to bits!

[@Mexicobeanpole]

Yes. Moms are people too. Full of self doubts, jealousy and other not so great traits, even toward their children. But, it is what it is.

[@elizabethconroy7665]

That’s me too Had to take an AntiAnxiety tablet every time I visited her

[@californiaglo9666]

Oh Pamels, I have experienced the same thing. When my dad passed away six years ago, I knew my mom would hate me worse. She talks bad about me to the family and I think they believe her. I live 70 miles away and still get blamed for ever. My brother was her favorite. He passed away shortly after my dad. He stole from her, left her house full of junk and she still speaks highly of him. I was told that I always have a solution to everything.yes, I do! I am strong, smart and independent. She never had been. Sending you a big hug.

[@suzanne296]

Wow this hits home

[@lynnc7896]

I was shattered when Cooper died too, I bawled like a baby. To be honest I like dogs more than people. On a lighter note your hair is looking fab lately! 🙂

[@LittlePoet]

Oh Lynn....what can I say...I just love you for loving Cooper...he was blind but he taught me how to see the world. I had 13 years with him :) I swear, I think Cooper sent me Desi to mend my broken heart. I know I sound crazy...but thank you so much for being here...xxoo Susan

[@lynnc7896]

@@LittlePoet you and Cooper on that chair looking out the window is burned into my mind, when you are at your lowest your dog will always give you unconditional love and support, furry angels. 🐶

[@bevansabo2762]

You are truly my favorite on KZbin. I have been watching you for almost three years. After my divorce I had gave up on everything and I found your KZbin channel and it totally saved my life. Thank you my friend. I watch you every time you put out a new video. It fills my heart with sunshine.

[@nkf7135]

I think that our authenticity can change over time and in different situations. We may have been different 5 years ago, but perhaps not less authentic. And it is normal to react to and with those around us. When I am with a dominating, opinionated person, I tend to listen, rather than verbally disagree, though I may disagree in my heart. And I think that is ok. You make me think....

[@Mexicobeanpole]

I agree with you. It doesn’t make us less authentic.

[@Thale771]

Oh my goodness, how have I been so lucky to have found you...I have literally sat here for over 2 hours watching some of your videos while doing my craftwork, and I cannot explain how much it means to me, to hear your gentle spirit speak and just wash over me. Thank you, thank you, thank you....I feel blessed to have just found you. Brings tears to my eyes of gratitude.... And your statement made me lol - I'll tell some jokes and lies and we'll call it a relationhip. Priceless.

[@monnievaradi596]

Dear Susan. Thank you. My special relationship ( yep) there’s that word. My special relationship with a few very special KZbin ladies means so much to me. I have found friends who do understand the real me. Im not ashamed to be me, 72 years old still wanting to be pretty, still learning, still feeling..if anything, this new journey is more exciting because I have found a group of ladies who know And share and care.. and then there is the best part, Desi! And by the way, your hair looks fabulous today!

[@jacquimg2469]

Your comment about “still wanting to be pretty, still learning, still feeling” resonated with me. I’m 70 and I’m “still wanting.” Most of the time I forget that I’m 70. I don’t know how to be 70. It’s not so much that I want to be 50 again. I want the options I had when I was 50.

[@barbaraweatherman5340]

I too am 72, wanting to look pretty, still learning. I get this. ❤️ We are fierce!

[@Deem1953]

Susan, I had a wonderful mother, but she tried to teach me to live for my husband, the typical mindset of the 1940's. so, when i was 40 years old, i finally met the man of my dreams, and i became what he wanted from a wife because i was terrified of losing him. i always put his needs, his feelings and his desires first, so much that I lost myself. I turned into a woman that he didn't fall in love with years ago, and he left me after 10 years of marriage. Your video today spoke to me. Always be yourself, and when someone loves you, they love the real you.

[@robinsaxophone232]

Your videos are so beautiful, peaceful and inciting. Little Poet is a good name, because your vlog is poetry for the eyes, ears and mind. You seem to always search out and find beauty in your life even when it’s sad. I just turned Medicare eligible this year and it’s nice to find someone my age with such a lovely way of seeing life’s experiences. And your little doggy is adorable with his goofy underbite and those sweet, soulful eyes.

[@lynnyb1859]

Your video brought up so many memories. My sister had a similar relationship with our Mother. I on the other hand was always my authentic self much to my Mothers horror. I watched how my sister and Mother bonded. However as time went by, I realized that my sister was so dependent on her that she lacked the confidence to navigate the world on her own. I was a wild child of the 60’s and lived an unconventional life style. Because of this my Mother and I were not close. She barely knew her grandchildren which was such a loss on both sides. There was anger and hurt feelings. However, when my Mom was in her 80’s she ended up living with me. She told me how proud she was of me. She admired my strong spirit and what I had accomplished. I guess what I am saying is sometimes being your authentic self has its own set of problems. So basically no regrets because we are all figuring it out as we go along.

[@josienavarro8530]

Your video brought me to tears, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I was not the perfect daughter my mother wanted me to be and many a time I would rebel against her. She wanted me to be the mother she never had, she wanted me to nourish and comfort her and I didn’t know how cause she never taught me how. It’s sad to say but when she passed away I was relieved cause now I could breathe and be me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@peggyharris3815]

Amen. I know the feeling.

[@barbaraweatherman5340]

I can so relate to this!

[@trishthedishbliss60]

My mother was mentally and physically abusive toward me from my earliest memories. She did not want or love me. I felt I was "home free" when I left home @ 19, started my own family, lived my life on my terms. I had a fake "good" relationship with her throughout the following 35 yrs although she continued to hurt me in insidious ways. Two years ago I severed ties with her in order to finally rescue myself from the toxic relationship. I am now 60 and feel I am still healing from the wounds she inflicted. But I am FREE. I can BREATHE. I loved this video and I love your authenticity💗💖💗

[@wilmabrock6257]

Trish Bliss I had a mom like that too and had to pretend to care for her when I just felt rage. She died this year and I finally feel free. I am so glad you have made the move to save yourself. You deserve it!

[@Mexicobeanpole]

Great post. Live & love your life.

[@deezahm9143]

💜I had a similar relationship with my mom...I forgave her many years ago because I realized she was a malignant narcissist and dove those who loved her her away. When she died, everything I ever felt it regretted died with her.🌼

[@KAZHE63]

Trish, you are not alone... there are many of us out here💕

[@LittlePoet]

I am glad you made your great escape....although sad, life finds a way and we women can't move towards pain, we move towards growth and happiness...and we have to save ourselves....but it takes a lot of courage! Love to you Trish...xxoo Susan

[@wildmeadows8495]

“Tell myself some jokes and lies and call it a relationship.” Dinner alone tips - thank you!

[@vesnaxo9514]

Love this ❤️🤣🤣

[@roseyc.5846]

Wild Meadows I could certainly use the tips, too!

[@LittlePoet]

Only problem is I have to pick up the tab and if I want to break up, I can't.....but on the upside....so much in common!!! xxoo LOVE YOU!

[@margaieljohnson1231]

Great message. Really hit home here. I've spent the majority of my life being that person people wanted to see. To the point where I never realized who I am. Even today late in my life. At this point, the only thing I know is 5hat Jesus knows me and loves me just the same. Never was given or received self esteem. Thank you for your message.

[@elainemullins7860]

Something just clicked in my brain when you talked about what we saw in your videos when you could not say the words. I have always connected with you because of that. When I was watching the rain and listening to the birds I was thinking that I could watch and listen all day long. I remember grieving with you when your dear Cooper passed and grieving my dear dog Buddy over again although I thought that grief was gone. I can see how much you and Desi love each other and am so glad you found him.

[@melindatruitt4712]

I love your videos! I'm a new subscriber as of yesterday when I found a video of yours. I admire your honesty and strength. You asked if there was a time when I wasn't my authentic self and there were many after my divorce in 2008 after 24 years of marriage. I started the dating thing.... Unfortunately at the time the only way I can describe it was like being a dog at the pound. I would try to be whatever I thought he wanted me to be and if a relationship started or if it only lasted a handful of dates and then ended for whatever reason I felt like I had been dropped back off at the pound as a surrender until the next would call and I'd try again..... I had no identity and no self esteem. I wanted someone else to give me a part of their life so I would just have at least a half. I wrote, at the time, a blog post about a Gift Bag. Basically that if you give someone a gift bag it's usually fluffed with tissue paper and beautiful bows, maybe some streamers, etc. but when the recipient opened the gift bag it was empty. Fortunately I'm not that way anymore...

[@monam.5923]

I found your channel just when I needed it the most. 2020, recent divorce, unemployed, due to the pandemic and alone in a small studio apartment at 62 years old. You inspire us women who feel broken. Thank You! "Hugs from Ohio"

[@LittlePoet]

Oh you are so lovely to share with me your life...it inspires me to feel so not alone...and that's half the ball game!!!

[@annanorth4584]

Blessings and hugs to you. It will get better! I was in a very lonely and desperate place 5 years ago. My life has taken a 180. We never know what miracles are right around the corner.

[@debismith2802]

Have to say it again....I adore you and your videos.....you are so calming to my soul.....yesterday it finally rained most of the day after 2 weeks of dry, hot, humid weather....I just stood outside in it smiling....thanking the universe for the life giving rain....listening to everything living around me sigh with relief and joy.......ahhhh the pleasures of what is around us that we have to take the time to "SEE" and enjoy.

[@NelCooper]

Great points! 🌸🌿🌸

[@LittlePoet]

I just adore you so much....the rain and the woods gave me such a nice soundtrack and I guess I never realized how " real" can be so melodic. Thank the Universe....that makes me cry..you are wonderful Debi!

[@daniellereid01]

I think that the reason why I love animals so much is because they are themselves all of the time. I find human relationships, be it with family, friends or lovers, to be difficult, so I keep many at a distance and only my cats close xox

[@siennabay]

I can relate to this as well and agree. Thank you.

[@bloubrown802]

I have a cat and a dog.... they are my comfort and joy... people have a tendency to hurt others so much, I stay away from them (people)

[@sewndebisdream6953]

Your mother was beautiful....you look alot like her.💃 Love your blue & white blouse ❤️ Enjoyed your message.🤗 You really help us think about our own lives☺️🌸🌻

[@judyconstantino9838]

Susan, I think this is your best video ever. I appreciate your honesty and how reflective you are.my heart breaks at the thought of you losing Cooper. I think that great grief comes from great love. How wonderful that you have no regrets about how you treated your mom. How many people are not able to say that. My mom was not “herself” for the last 30 years of her life. Depression and manic-depression are the demons that are rampant in her side of the family. The gift that came out of that for me is, because I have witnessed what mental health issues of so many people I love, I am very proactive about doing what I can to keep that demon at bay for myself. My sweet Willow is my best medicine and caring for her is a joy. Right now, she is dealing with some serious health issues.I feel privileged to be able to care for her. On another topic, I’m so happy that you have kindred spirits in your friends involved with music! Even though I recently found your channel, I have binge-watched many of your videos made over the last 5 years. I suspect that you are your own worst critic. I really believe that everyone one of your videos has made a connection with many people in so many different ways. I think that if a person is lucky enough to live long enough (I’m 66), we have experienced both the happiest and the saddest of times. I love that you have 5 years of videos on your channel! It’s a wonderful library of selections I can go to based on my mood at the time or what I’m currently experiencing in my life. You probably don’t realize how many people you have touched because not everyone feels comfortable leaving comments. Wishing you many blessing each day forward. Judy and Willow from Arizona

[@elizabethelliott3175]

I wish you would perform for us! Show us the authentic you -- you're a vocalist and pianist!

[@Guinevere.625]

I think so too. Maybe you could just work a short clip of a performance during a video. I’m sure many of us would love watching you perform❤️

[@joanmaxine1]

A very thoughtful video! You have discovered by yourself what took me 20+ years and thousands of dollars of intensive psychotherapy to accomplish. They were the most important and productive years of my life and my lessons learned have helped me survive my 80 years. May you keep learning. ❤️

[@MaryEllenAfter60]

In 1990 & 1991, I found I could not be my real self, and I changed the situation as quickly as possible. My two older sisters watch every one of my videos, so even if I wanted to be like someone else, I can't, lol. Every single day (unless I was out of the country) of my adult life I called my mother. I can remember being so tired, but still called her. Looking back, I am happy I did. Your video was beautiful, Susie. I've watched you from the very beginning, and have enjoyed seeing you evolve. Blessings, and love to you, and The Dez...Mimi

[@maryellenlibonati4901]

Mary Ellen I watch all your and Susan videos from day 1. I miss Colleen. 💔

[@madelinestuart8827]

@@maryellenlibonati4901 I miss Colleen too! I hope she is ok?

[@LittlePoet]

Oh Mimi....youa re so strong and lovely...and grounded...I very well can see you making a change for a better life every single time....that is so cute about your sisters!!! They keep you 100% honest but you would be that way anyway!!! I thought of you this week when I realized I need new cookware....I want to be prepared from fall and perhaps cooking better dinners at home. Thank you so much for being here...stay safe and happy...see you soon, Sues & Dez

[@janefriel6895]

Hi Susan,I was adopted.My parents had my brother for two years,also adopted.My mother told me many times that she didn't want anymore children.My brother was the apple of her eye However one day the social worker who knew my parents through the adoption process came to my mother and said they had a baby girl who they needed adopted parents for.My mother sent her to my father's work place to see what he said.Yes,my father wanted a girl.So there I was.I spent most of my life standing behind my brother in my mother's eyes.Once I traveled 40 miles to do a message for my mother.My brother pulled up in his car and she said "it's ok he's here" You can go I was in my 40's by then.The night my mother died I sat on her bed and sang her favourite song.I took her to my home to wake and I still clean her grave when I can.My brother lives in Europe.He left Ireland 10 years before my mother died.

[@NewYawkahBroad]

Take comfort in knowing that this mindset is not limited to adoptive children. My parents sheltered my sister, a life long drug addict, and my oldest son, a raging narcissist, in their home for decades. (She adored him simply because he had male genitalia. She failed to produce a son.)They required nothing of them while I worked and was independent. But who was there next to both their death beds (two months apart) for hours until the moment of death? Those two mooches were busy picking the bones off anything of value in the home while my parents were taking their last breath. My parents died intestate and I got NOTHING. I told them I only wanted my grandmother's wedding ring and my great uncle's guitar. Not the house, not the bank account. In the end the drug addict got the ring and the narcissist got the handmade guitar from the 1920's. Neither of them live independently since my parents died. My favorite saying is "It's never too late for a happy childhood". Make yourself happy. I have had child like things for myself since my 30s. Bubbles, colorful chalk, water balloons, even a vintage Chrissy doll. My children were not allowed to touch those things without permission. Don't let the bitterness of injustice stop you from having great joy in your life; otherwise they win. Take a page from your bother's life. Live your life and don't look back. You DESERVE to be happy!

[@janefriel6895]

@@NewYawkahBroad Hi,I am aware that the favourite child thing isn't just because we were adopted.I just told it as it is because my mother didn't want a second child and I was not allowed to forget it.I have not allowed it to affect me consciously.I have lived a goodife.I have traveled worldwide,I have a beautiful home,I want for nothing other than my health.My brother and I have a good relationship.Hes very aware that I looked after both my parents.I bought them their home I now own it.I have no regrets regarding my parents.I treated them with the respect they deserved.I paid for them to attend my brother's wedding in Europe.Anything they wanted I got them My point is that no matter what I did my brother still came first.All he did was take.Thank you for your reply.

[@Jkaye13]

@@janefriel6895 So sad that parents can favor one child over another.. and not see the real love in a child that is there for them and truly appreciate it.. you however have the peace of mind that you loved and cared for your parents the way a good daughter should. Guilt and regret is a horrible thing to live with after someone is gone..

[@brightpurpleviking]

I am a woman in my fifties and my relationship with my mom is so very difficult. I needed your message, thank you! I’m an artist and it is my soul to paint. I have been told repeatedly that my life is worthless as an artist. Even having been shown in museums twice, even having my art in private collections on five continents. Even having gotten published twice! I’m still seen as a failure and TOLD I am a failure. I need to shake that negative talk but their words play like a continuous reel in my mind. 💜 REAL is the way to go! You are SO RIGHT. But REAL is so so hard to find.

[@Kiki-yo4hi]

Know, that YOU, are Made From the Most High . . . GOD. He Make's NO Junk !!! LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. I've Had to LEARN That, the Hard Way. Don't LET Other's Control YOU. Don't Give Them That Power. It Doesn't MATTER What Other's THINK. BE YOU, and DO What Make's YOU HAPPY. That's What MATTER'S. It IS Hard, as well as SAD, When, Especially a Family Member, or Someone that we Hold Dear to us, Can't SEE, ANYthing, except Their Opinion and Selfishness.

[@carolcorkill3919]

I loved this video and your willingness to be so honest. It’s hard to be our authentic self......I’m still working on that. 😊 I was blessed to have a loving and wonderful mom. She was my best friend and we would talk about everything. It was so hard when she passed away in 2009 and I still miss her so much. I could always be myself with her but my dad was a completely different story. He demanded perfection and we always had to put up the image of a perfect family and that was the furthest thing from the truth. Because of that, putting up this perfect image stayed with me. In my marriage, it was about being the perfect wife and mother and creating the perfect family. My husband was an alcoholic so we were far from perfect but I was in the mode of creating that perfect image. I still struggle sometimes with being my authentic self but I’m doing better and learning to love me and who I am and that’s a good feeling. Thank you for opening your heart to us. You are a beautiful person inside and out Susan and I really enjoy your videos and look forward to them. You encourage us all to be better and love who we are. Bless you and cute little Dezi. Stay safe and have a wonderful week! 💕

[@katebarnes9293]

When I was young I had low self esteem but I put a ‘front’ up, big smile, twinkly eyes that was me, or was it? ..The shy girl who thought her nose to big, hips to wide, self critical inner self was at that time, the real me....I was glad I could hide that person under a faux personna until I could shed my insecurities and be the real me...Sometimes we are our own worse enemies.....I love that you make us think about the person we were, the person we are...We aren’t always upbeat, sometimes melancholy...You reflect Us .......and I thank you.. much love Kate xx

[@BrendaKay2024]

Thank you for being you...Then and now...

[@lanepadelford7958]

I don't think I even know my authentic self. I have always been like a chameleon. Blending in wherever I am and whoever I'm with. I'm 65. That is really sad.

[@BlingyBea]

Me too

[@elana81RDH]

"Sitting by myself is the least lonely place that I can be." I completely understand this. I feel so alone in my marriage right now. It's my second marriage, and I can't help but feel like I gave up on my first marriage too soon and rushed into this one. All my problems didn't magically melt away with a change of circumstances. It's too late to go back now, but I feel like I just want to be by myself. I'm not looking for a man to fix me this time. I just want to be independent and alone but I'm scared. I've never been on my own.

[@wildmeadows8495]

Just starting to get into metal bands as my new spirit self. Am 56, divorced, and have spent my life being my mom’s good girl! Grieving that the soul was stolen so early, but trusting that the August blooms will be even more spectacular.

[@claudinechabot3579]

Susan I can totally relate to this video. Also, I have thought that you should be a therapist. You have such a deep understanding of things. I spent my whole life trying to please people; not say anything to offend them even if I did not agree. Now in my older years (almost 70) I am trying to say what I think and not agree with everybody. What do I have to lose at this point in my life? Love you and Desi. Also, I have always loved your thrift store videos; fun to watch. You are a beautiful person; the kind of person I would love to have as a friend.

[@wendyfrench9898]

Dear lovely Susan we love you because of who you are . I've followed you right back before you lost Cooper and your a very special person to be able to do what you do . Never stop believing in who you are , a super lady . Hugs from Wendy in UK 💕🙏

[@roseyc.5846]

Hi Susan: My daughter and I have a dysfunctional relationship, which is very painful for me. I tried so hard to be the best mom I could, especially since my own mother and I clashed quite a bit. She never seemed to approve of me...no matter how good my grades were, nothing at all. I'm sure she loved me, but, she was brought up not to shower praise on one's children. My daughter seems to have only disdain for me; I never claimed perfection as a mother, but, I know for sure I did my best. I can never be my authentic self with her, so, I'm going to simply "love her from a distance". It's a shame we can't resolve our issues "in the living years"..life is so short. What little time is left, I refuse to spend in constant conflict. Thank you for another wonderful video. Stay safe and well! Rosemarie 💖

[@karenhollywood1808]

Thank you Susan for being here for me xxx

[@christelherder7298]

im turning 50 need to learn to live my after devorce ,i can handle it my mum did not learn me to live my self it meens always be dependent she hopes i will not but some times its difficult to keep my own vision of live i love your post today my dog past away this year i can still feel the pain of it . my mum visited her sister she is in nurhing home so you can imaging some time the feelings wil overwelmed with the situation im from holland try to find a way to live for my selve following youtube helpes to ceep on track dear i love you and lots of huggs from holland

[@debmarrett212]

Watching you grow on your channel has been inspiring to watch. You seem so much more content and able to work through disappointments. I enjoy hearing your thoughts! I'm finding it difficult to be myself at work. I feel misunderstood and not sure how to change it. Blessings to you and Desi from Midas and me!

[@smrccsjc]

Morning Susan, well it's morning for me. Actually I'm starting my day with you as I drink my coffee. There is an old song call Stand in the Rain. It's by Superchick. The chorus goes like this so Stand in the Rain stand your ground Stand Up when it's all crashing down you stand through the pain you won't drown one day what's lost can be found so Stand in the Rain. I think if you looked up this song you would really like it. And of course you can find it on KZbin ! When listening to you today I felt like man I wish I could sit down and have coffee or tea with you. Talk about life, the Beauties and Sorrows of it. 💜

[@deannalynnkennedy754]

Now I want to check out the song. I think I will. And ditto on the coffee talk.

[@roseparker1245]

I just found you wished it had been a year ago I'm 60 raising 2 grandchildren after 42 years me and husband split but were getting back after one year I feel your love and kindness thank you

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you Rose so much....you have so much going on...I am rooting for you! xxoo Susan & Desu

[@marynyhof6916]

Hello my friend! I am one of the "new" women who you addressed. I have so many thoughts on what you shared here. And so connected with you relationship with your mother. THANK you for your sensitivity. Maybe we wouldn't share the same views on things. But you can still care for those people. I live in Holland. We are practically neighbors!!! I think the f=one of your first videos I watched in the last 10 days, you talked about LAV!!!! I thought "OH my gosh! This woman lived in Wesr Michigan!!! LOL. Thank you Susan! And Desi!!! You are golden thread and the fabric we call life.xo Mary your fellow Michigander!!!

[@diamondslashranch]

Welcome Mary!

[@marynyhof6916]

@@diamondslashranch thank you! xo

[@mmkeat393]

I am one of your new gals! Love, love, love your videos! Have a wonderful weekend!

[@diamondslashranch]

Welcome Marla!

[@vesnaxo9514]

Me too...new here and i m loving it.Amazing women

[@DonnaRhodesletstakeupmakeup]

I've been around w you Sus since the start of your channel and I've seen you overcome that sadness. It was like an undercurrent that we cannot hide bc the eyes are a window to our souls. And, it's very "Freudian" ..the mother/daughter relationship. It runs so deep. I'm proud of you girl! Being real has brought you great success. And, you're so talented- there's no hiding that! love u,xo

[@LittlePoet]

Donna! You had a great video...I do'nt remember you telling me about your Mother....oh, something we need to talk about over lunch! Love you so!

[@debra7241]

Hello Susan. I also had the same kind of mother. And the same kind of father. Though the story with my father is just as difficult, it’s less painful in some weird way because I wasn’t raised around him. I could never know who I was because my mother also didn’t know who she was. There was an extreme deficit in the esteem security department In my mother, therefore there was also one in me. She was my role model. What was I to do! I’ll be sixty years young soon, and just discovering myself. And though finding myself has unfortunately come by way of pain, I’m Still grateful for sure. There’s a song that is by The Rolling Stones, I know you know it. Wild Horses. The rendition of it by Susan Boyle is hauntingly beautiful, and every word rings true about the mixed feelings I’ve had towards my mother. Much love Susan, and will you give your handsome pooch a couple of kisses for me. ❤️

[@mondayschild229]

Hopefully we grow and learn much through our family dynamics. I am not an outwardly forceful person, but I must have lived authentically, because my mother disowned me twice. (Not for anything I ever did to her, I just didn't live my life as she wished.) I have a very close relationship with my own daughter. We have been travel buddies. I treat her as my best friend. I learned from my relationship with my mother to allow my own daughter to make her own path through life, and no guilt trips.

[@cherlynbarrett6493]

You are such an inspiration. I become centered and had peace to feel your positive energy.

[@lauracodd7452]

The hardest time I had being my authentic self was when I was working. I was told almost on a daily basis that I was too sensitive. So I tried really hard not to be that way until one day I realized that was the part of me that I really loved! I am a sensitive soul and that is ok in fact it is more than ok!!! Love to you and Desi!!!!

[@wendy-leemorrissirrom8636]

Rescuer. Yes always making the situation ok, yes it must be exhausting. My mum didn’t judge me. Parents mould our personality.

[@christysmith2807]

Susan I love this video. My mother never approved of me and I never felt safe. Recently I have been grappling with me and who is that authentic me. The funny thing that happened after she died, I was cleaning out her house and I found all the things that she saved about my business accomplishments and awards I won. She never said a word about them at the time. You are the gift I give myself every Saturday morning.🎁

[@LittlePoet]

I felt I was given a gift just reading what you wrote Christy :) I thinkwe look to our Mothers to love us the most and protect us...and when that does'nt happen I thinkw e are forced to work on thsoe deficits for most of our lives. I think most of us find peace with it. I did but it was much later in life....thank you so much for being here and I hope your weekend it a good one...stay safe, Susan & Desi

[@AnnMitt]

KZbin put one of your videos in my feed. So random. I've watched several of your videos and really enjoyed them. Well done. Beautiful stories and beautiful photography. In a video about a year ago you mentioned moving into a different apartment. Are you still thinking about moving? Your current apartment looks so beautiful.

[@galeovermyer3683]

Hi Susan, I'm 69 and its extremely difficult for me to show my true self. I'm working on it and am better but still hesitant to do, say or be the real me. I mostly share what I sense a person needs to hear from me not what I need to say. I so thank you for being YOU with us all! It is very special and an example of how to be content with who you are!!! Love you...Gale

[@ladyyaya6782]

My Mom is one of the nicest people you will e er meet, but.......! Im right there with you Lovies!

[@donnamufich564]

Such mixed emotions on the Mother/Child relationships~ Whether we know it or not Our Mother's really knew us more than we know~My Son~He is my ♥️~My Greatest Gift~

[@janpeterson6851]

OMG! New viewer here. Retired school teacher here. Everything you said...yes. I’m most lonely in a crowd. Jan

[@LittlePoet]

Me too Jan....a crowd is lonely...alone with my thoughts sometimes can be such a happy place...I think that is why Bill craved sitting there in that park.

[@deezahm9143]

💜Thank you for this, Susan. I am so glad you discussed the mother/daughter struggle. Not all moms and daughters have good relationships. Those who do, can never understand. 💐

[@KAZHE63]

Absolutely! It is crushing for a girl not to have unconditional love and acceptance from her mom. It helps to know that we are not alone.

[@Gramma40]

Thank you! I really needed this, since working in a corporate office for years, somehow I've put on something else instead my "real".. I'm a new subscriber, thank you for this Video!!!!! Would love to see Desi day and what all he does.. lol. Also do you do any live videos for questions and comments??

[@cindyj.timelesstreasures7771]

I love your videos because I feel like you touch us all in places where we need to grow and then you help us to try to get there. I love a summer rain too.. It does wash everything clean and then there is a new day to start over and enjoy. I miss my mother, she died in 2014 at the age of 95 but sadly had dementia and didn't know me for two years. Sometimes she thought I was her sister...it was heartbreaking to watch. We had a good relationship and I truly have no regrets. I was there for her through all the years of her life and she did her best for me. She was the best grandma to my children and they still talk about her with love and respect. Thank you for allowing all of us to share our stories; you frame your videos in such a beautiful way that makes us feel comfortable to share. Love you and Dezi. I never had a sister but if I did, I'd want her to be you!💕💕

[@RandomLifeProductions]

The relationship with moms is a difficult one, but years of learning forgiveness and seeing the world from her perspective is awesome. I was filming in London today great to be out in the sun...

[@LittlePoet]

I want to see!!!

[@RandomLifeProductions]

It will be up tomorrow😀

[@simonecobb8903]

Oh, I just love the sound of the rain, and then, the birds in the morning. I could only tell you stories in your company, I can't do it on here. So sorry. Its too private to share with so many people. Some of it is embarrasing. But, living alone for 2 years, I think Im coming back to my real self. I found a way to start forgiving myself for some of the crazy things ive done..............the difference between GUILT ....and REGRET. Love to you and Desi, xo Simone

[@melissaadams6776]

Do you think disapproving mother's are most likely wounded...insecure.....fearful girls......themselves...... I do

[@conniemurphyover70stillgla47]

HI SUSAN MY MOM never talked very much,even the 15 yrs. she lived with me but I always knew she loved me.on her death bed 6-10-20 she lifted her head and looked at everyone in the roon .I like to think she was saying "see you later" and passed. hugs connie

[@carola3046]

Susan, I hate to say it, but I have to disagree with you again...I think that's twice recently...LOL! I have been with you since you first started your channel. I don't remember any of your videos as being a disaster. And, I believe you were authentic...just on a journey finding out who you "wanted to be when you grew up!" I am still on that journey...aren't we all...because "time changes people...and people change with time." Thank you for another "deep" video. Blessings, Carol

[@melissaadams6776]

Susan ...what a wonderful subject today!!! If that is your mother on the title pic beside you...my goodness...on the likeness..... Your gracious spirit is such a gift you share and offer so freely Thank you ! You have a good week See you Friday

[@jbzahm22]

Thank heaven you are now what you are. I decided you could become one of my best friends. You speak for so many people who watch you. When you say you weren’t able to be yourself it brought to mind, what deep down in my heart, that I could stop bluffing my way through life, I recognized myself in what you said. Thank you again.

[@christinadaggett6024]

This was such a touching video. I can really relate to the issues you had with your mom. My mom was very critical and I grew up without a lot of confidence in myself. I'm just now at 60, feeling like I am becoming my authentic self.

[@ellie5901]

Thank you for another great podcast. Being our authentic selves is a big subject. We have to be very brave to just be ourselves. I think we learn from a very young age that it is not always ok with other people if we dare to be ourselves. It could be that siblings are jealous of talent or the way we look, and we learn to hide out true selves. I can remember singing as a teenager and my sister really laughed at me. I never sang in front of her again. I can remember going to audition to join a band and my boyfriend said to me be careful and don't make a fool of yourself. I didn't do the audition. I had lots of that in different ways, and I was very scared to be myself. I could write a lot about this subject. However it such a waste of time to let jealous siblings or so-called jealous friends win, we need to grow a thick skin which is difficult if you are a sensitive soul. I have wondered why God gave me talents, when my sensitive nature would absorb the hurtful and undermining comments, maybe that was my challenge. I challenge my self a lot and am finalizing a BSc in homeopathic medicine, it's not easy, however, I find it intellectually stimulating and I know I am really being myself when I am studying this subject or helping people with the knowledge I have acquired over the years. However I never really sang to the best of my potential. I let those hurtful comments get to me.

[@dorisporis8]

Hi. I think you are right that it just takes time to actually find out who you are! I think we are always trying, but we get swayed by life, society, the media, family pressures and other expectations that we put upon ourselves. I am glad you share all this because I am the same age as you. You seem to have more inner joy than I, so your work helps me inside and out!! Thank you.

[@dwynne3179]

My mom died last December, but she had been in a dementia care home for years, so I actually had lost her a long time ago. For most of our relationship, I was the parent, and she was the child - so if I ever broke those rules and told her about something that frightened me, hurt me, etc., she just got silent. She couldn't cope. I do miss her fierceness, her sense of humor, her intelligence and wit. But I wish we could have really gotten to know each other before she passed.

[@MrBri103]

Hi. I’m one of your male fans. Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this video. You said so many things I needed to hear, and you said them with great sincerity and humility. Thank you !

[@deliarodriquez4989]

That pain never goes away hu girl l.no matter what you do or go.its not the same life.l.likr I said before am also a divorce also.when he wanted the divorce I was working I was a banquet supervisor and I use to work alot of hours.so I cut my hours work less.be home more.that didn't work.its was very depressed.i don't want to ever go down that road again.

[@lilliegill3565]

I have been they as you have,you share the good and the bad of your life,that is great,cause what you dont see,are how we really feel behind the camera, as you set in front of it,sometimes we feel as you do just not the same things happening, God bless you,I enjoy watching you,you sometimes give me hope to go on.

[@linda7452]

Hi Susan, I have just stumbled upon your channel and I really love listening to you, honestly and truly. I am 68 and still married, but basically I am alone in our relationship. I am also a musician and studied classical piano since I was 6 years old, graduated from the music school at Indiana University, married and had to locate to Michigan for his job. I never wanted to marry him, but due to his parents' strict religious dictates, we had to for peace in the family. We divorced, no children, 6 yrs later, and I moved back to FL where my family resided. I married a CPA, had two sons, and have lived a comfortable life, but not living "me", just going along with what I had to do. I was shocked and devastated to find out that he had been having a secret affair for 4 years with someone he met online in my 50's. He would have been the last person I would have suspected to do something like that, but, yes, it was sexual fulfillment galore for him. We were mismatched but stayed together at his begging for forgiveness and for our sons. I am fortunate to have my 88 yr old healthy mother alive and wonderful to be able to call and talk to at this point in my life. She is one tough lady, a widow with 3 young children, and an attitude to conquer and strive to make a great life for all of us. She was also blessed to have such physical beauty that turned heads wherever she passed. I was the oldest and the most sensitive of her kids, talented, only one to graduate from college and never gave her any problems. Yet, still at this age, I will ask her for her wisdom and guidance and she has never really lead me astray. I didn't listen to her, though, when she advised me to leave my husband while in my 50's and find a companion who I could laugh with, enjoy music together and be happy, not tied down, and free. Oh well, I have not been able to visit with her because of Covid, but hopefully, she won't pass before this virus either takes her or there's a vaccine. You are very talented and I look forward to more of you! Thank you.

[@nextphase1752]

This was real and comforting to hear. It’s what’s needed most especially now. My heart is heavy today because of family illness’s and hearing your story helped me. Thank you Little Poet.

[@connienorleen]

Hi Susan, I love your videos and look forward to hearing what you have to share every week. Authenticity is a great subject. I have been thinking a lot about this subject and more lately. I will be sharing on my video soon about this and more. I am 77 and I think I am just now coming into my own with my authenticity. I believe it is a life long journey, at least for me it has been. I love that we keep learning and growing into our own true self. I appreciate you. ♥

[@KayKay-ef4ot]

Thanks for another beautiful video.

[@susanfernandez7475]

Hi Susan! I just found your channel yesterday! Your channel came up as a recommendation for me on KZbin and it looked interesting so I clicked it. I love your videos! You are such a wonderful and charming woman with a lot of wisdom. I too started my life single late in life. 2 years ago I was divorced after 27 years as he found another person. It was extremely hard for me and still is. You are helping me to see how you can be happy still. I am looking forward to watching all of your videos and taking many of your suggestions, including the movies! Best to you!

[@lisaschmidt8466]

Hi Susan, You’re so graceful and eloquent. I loved this video and always look forward to seeing your style and creativity.

[@susancrowshaw9878]

Hi Susan, I'm loving your videos even if you did make me cry the other day in the one where the neighbour gave you a warm coat. You have a talent for telling a story. Keep smiling your wonderful smile xxx

[@juditha6785]

Growing up I tried to make my mom proud of me in so many ways, but I just never seemed to get that satisfaction from her as hard as I tired all of her life. I know she loved me and I her, but we just always seemed to have conflict. It was good to hear that you seemed to try to conquer the same.

[@maryjoobrienmoulding6298]

I think the older and wiser we get it helps us to be more the Real us with age comes a lot of wisdom.I’m a LITTLE hard headed to not be who I am usually Hee hee! My husband says my head is made of Green Irish granite. Moms and daughters hmmmm ! That’s a deep deep phenomenon.I didn’t have daughters but I have a. almost 7 yr. old granddaughter who I spend a lot of time with I want to nurture that every day every way I can she is a mini me in a lot of ways . Cooper was a special dog. I really feel he sent Desi for you at the Exact right time for both you and Desi. It was meant to be .Take care Susan..........

[@michellem9275]

I feel like a prisoner in disguise with my covid mask on...but hey..we gotta do what we gotta do to survive.....hmmmmm❤

[@alisonl5127]

Those masks hurt more than they help. Plenty of research on that. In fact the cdc, who, etc, have all had that on their websites. People just don’t read them and trust what the news tells them without doing their own research. Someone with lung problems MUST ask their doctors before wearing one. Even if there’s a city ordinance, like there is in most cities, we do not have to wear them. It’s not a written law, only a suggestion. They do not keep viruses out, as viruses are small enough to get in. They’re microscopic. In this heat, wearing a mask is very dangerous. People will start getting sick from rebreathing their toxic breath. Especially the elderly, and those with suppressed immune systems...

[@karent3004]

@@alisonl5127 . Thank you Alison. This is just one of the many things about this whole mess called Covid that bothers me to my core. It's so hard to speak up around louder, all knowing voices, even when you know better. I'm right there with you...🤗

[@deena681]

I am curious, what happens to surgeons that wear masks?

[@carrienecas9867]

Good Morning Susan! Loved the video! Especially about Mothers, I do have regrets that my mother and I had a pretty awful relationship......she is still alive and at 86 she is now trying to have a relationship, but it is strained...Its basically a telephone relationship since she moved so far away .....I am trying....anyway, you brought up good points to think about....I love your videos and always look forward to them! That little Desi always makes me smile! Have a Beautiful week ahead!!! xo

[@maryellenlibonati4901]

Tell her you love her.

[@deliarodriquez4989]

I love that color of nails.itd very 1976.i use to wear that color in my early yrs.you know even if you have people around you.2e are still along.saying what happened to me I used to be so happy and full of life but now am empty no fun no love just a big empty hole

[@margotlainhurley2380]

Why would anyone want to be like some one else we are one of a kind we are our selves I don't want to be like no one else but me

[@Mexicobeanpole]

What you said about your earlier videos. Profound Susan. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Love Cooper. Love Desi. Love you!

[@alwilliams1009]

True peace and contentment comes from being your authentic self. Your videos are so lovely and thought provoking. Others have mentioned how beautiful your hair looks in this video, and I agree. What did you do to make it look so pretty? As always, Desi is just too adorable. Love and joyous energy sent to both of you.

[@ourcrackerboxcottagebyanit9027]

I did that in my first marriage...It lasted about 17 yrs and ended with a nervous breakdown and out patient hospitalization. :( Fast forward to new marriage....I'll never be that person ever again...I can only be me!

[@homehelpheart7440]

This was a very important subject to discuss! Since I was probably 40 or 45, there has been no Sheri but the authentic Sheri. Some people would say that I am too authentic but I don't think there is such a thing. Some people just aren't comfortable with us being who we are and having our own opinions. At 67, I am a completely different person than I was at 17 or even 27. During my early dating years in my early twenties oh, I felt like I had to put on Persona of being more outgoing and comfortable than I was. I was such a people pleaser! For most of my career, I was in a job that required me to teach and provide customer service by phone, email and in person. My cubicle was very small, so I had to pretend to that people being almost on top of me did not bother me. But as I got older, and thanks to many online groups in the DC area that met in person, I became more and more comfortable being myself around people. I even became more outgoing though I am still in introvert at heart. To me, not spewing everything you're pissed off about in a KZbin video is not pretending to be a different person. It's just a choice of what you will share with others on your KZbin channel. There are times when I rant on my KZbin channel and there are long stretches when I don't. That doesn't make me inauthentic. It just means that I prefer to put positivity into the world. 💗

[@LittlePoet]

I just adore you so much...I hope we get to phone chat again soon!

[@sunshinegirl4101]

Thanks for the inspiring video Susan. You always put me in a reflecting mood and I think of the good times I enjoyed in my life and just to do some dreaming of how life could have been....Louisa

[@beautybeyond9420]

Thank you again for an amazing video Sue. Ive think ive said before, that i never came from a happy home. My mum didn't really care what my father thought of her, so he attacked her by attacking me. Over the years, she became consumed with that. If i put on weight, I stayed away, because he would laugh at her because of me, because that worked. When my marriage fell apart, i had to hide, because he'd laugh at my failure. It got to the point where i never went back home again, but she would worry he would see me and laugh at her, so i avoided my hometown. I stopped telling her anything negative about myself, because she would say " Well you have really caused him to criticise me now" so i became something i wasn't, someone who would give my father no room to criticise, therefore keeping my mother happy. I am not that person now, but it was s battle for a long time. Yet still, every now and then i think, why are you doing KZbin Bella, you know you're not good enough. I remember Patti put a video up, telling us about Cooper and i knew how you would be, i knew how much you loved him and i was proud of you for making that first video after, for sharing your loss and love for your beautiful dog. People who matter can see your heart and will judge you and warm to you because of that, no matter what others say. I would never allow the words of anyone to make my daughters feel they are not good enough, i still wish, as much as i love her, my mum had felt the same..God Bless..Bella x

[@LittlePoet]

I know Bella how complicated and hard relationships are with our parents...and they last a lifetime. Your father's cruelty is so hideous and I am so upset you had to endure it for far too long...and without your own dear Mums support. I would imagine you felt like an orphan and dare I say, maybe will always feel a bit like that? I know I do....we learn to survive and we do that by trying to be everything to ourselves...and well, when we are young...that doesn't always work out so well. You made it and you raised great children....you broke the cycle. You won. And that is such an amazing triumph Bella!!!

[@karenmortimer9623]

I would love to see a video on how you style your hair!!

[@LittlePoet]

Oh Karen...really????? I don't think of my hair as anything special :) You are so sweet...I will do it....I think! xxoo Susan

[@Jkaye13]

Your hair always looks so stylish and nice.. with every hair in place! You should do a video! 😄