The Importance Of A Thick Skin & Becoming Mentally Tough With A Soft Heart | Life Over 60

LIfe can be tough so how important is it to have a thick skin and become mentally tough and retain a soft heart? Let’s talk about thick skin and your soft heart.

[@cavegirl8052]

Really needed such amazing advice. I grew up in a broken home, poverty and has blood & money-thirsty relatives. Growing up is never easy and lonely to me, my school life is all about being bullied since I never know how to defend or react. It much harder as I am an orphan now in my early 20s. I grow up wishing to not born this condition and felt angry to my parents for making such bad decision that affecting my life. I came across your channel, it gave me sheer hope to change my life around and make peace with past. I hope on getting better life ahead and stronger.

[@darnitthelma4247]

At 40 I feel a lot more sure of myself & when to let go of things that at 20 seemed stressful and now not so much. Hope by 60 I can embrace most of life’s bumps & waves and am able to continue been as strong as I aim to be. At 80 I hope I am as fascinating as you Sandra 🥰

[@femmeadulte1662]

So true ☺️

[@lifewithsandrahart]

It’s a growth process. I have changed throughout the years and gotten better at it

[@truthmatters8364]

@@lifewithsandrahart Amen sister! I'm 63 and yes we are on a different plateau at every decade-

[@rubyparchment5523]

You’ll be fine. I developed this method for overcoming blows, losses. I say to myself, “Now I’ll be getting back to normal.” Turning into bed at night, I pull up sheet and blanket around head like a bonnet, then say these words: “Eff everything.” These things work for me at 66.

[@RN-mn3jn]

The toughest person to forgive in my life was myself. After a much needed divorce from a dysfunctional marriage of 33 yrs, I found myself so angry at me...for staying so long in a broken marriage....for believing in him.... for allowing myself to be treated disrespectful. Ugh. I wasn't angry at him. I was so very angry at me. And it took some time to forgive myself. And it was hard. I read books, I prayed, I talked with others who had been through similar paths, I took up new hobbys, I rode my bike, I worked in my garden, I took long walks, I wrote in a journal and I allowed myself to feel all the hurt and I allowed myself to cry. Slowly but surely I worked through it and forgave myself. And I realized people can only treat me...the way I allow them to. Lesson learned. Lol...it took me long enough.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Excellent comment. Thank you so much for sharing and I am so happy that you were able to work it out and forgive yourself.

[@juliefizpatrick513]

Wonderful comment-I have many of the same hobbies! Keeping busy doing productive things and you begin to see all ur accomplishments 😊🤗

[@gloriayouchisonbrown7734]

So happy you made it out of a bad marriage, and recovered.

[@seventhchild7270]

R N..when people are NARCISSTIC...They are master manipulators!...But at least you realized and left. Many people did not survive abusive relationships or marriages!...WE do better..when we know better!

[@juliet2751]

Thank you for this!!

[@susano7587]

Thank you Sandra, I really needed to hear this today. My ex-husband has been treating me horrifically and blaming me for all of his problems. Blaming me because he thinks it is my fault that it is taking longer to sell our house than he expected. I am on anxiety medication and 2 andridepressants and just met with my Doctor and she is increasing my antidepressant and my anxiety medication because I am not coping well with my ex’s behavior. To top it off, I have a new lump in my breast, 2mm away from the cancerous one that was removed a year ago. I HAVE TO learn to ignore the hate my ex keeps spewing my way when he is in his drunken rages. My biopsy is Thursday. Please pray for me.❤️. UPDATE, My biopsy results were BENIGN!!! PTL. I know all the prayers and well wishes helped immensely!!!

[@bagyalakshmi5973]

❤

[@juliefizpatrick513]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗. Once ur house is sold and you can fully remove yourself from that toxic man life will be better:). Stress can cause a lot of illness.💕🌹

[@susano7587]

@@juliefizpatrick513 I believe, that if the cancer has indeed come back, it his fault.

[@donnaleak5045]

You are in my prayers

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Susan, My healing prayers are truly coming your way. You are under enormous amount of stress and our body often reacts to that stress in negative ways. Please try not to let him get to you and just do what you have to do to keep yourself well. You are important and your wellness comes before everything else. Close your ears to his rants and protect yourself by having a thick skin.

[@KH-wq2lh]

Hello, I never usually comment on videos but this video felt like a sign. Yesterday I had the vilest lady speak to me at work and it completely ruined my day and I started to feel very bitter. When I got home, your video was suggested on my home page and it honestly was touching to hear your advice. It really hit home and helped me revert back to a more grateful and patient mentality. Thank you so much, from an extremely grateful 24 y/o from a tiny village in England 😘🇬🇧

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so much. I’m happy you for something from this. Sorry you had to go through that yesterday.

[@rubyparchment5523]

So many people do this, lash out. Seems it’s always against a woman. But these types are never held to account.

[@shannoninalaska]

People can be very mean. Everyone seems to be angry about something anymore.

[@tinaantwi2665]

Thank you for this message Sandra. I am 23, feel so different, don’t fit in anywhere and working in a toxic work place with gossip and belittling. 😞 I feel so alone

[@couchpotatoqueenera]

As a 25yo, please don't work in a toxic place if you can help it. Wishing you well ❤

[@bernadettekelly8165]

Aww thats real tough ❤ Hold your head up ❤ Hold your head high ❤ By pass it ...

[@fancyprincess4318]

I am a teen and since i was little i have been a highly sensitive person and feel things deeply. People on the other hand have seen it like something that can destroy me and get to me with their mean words. Now after a lot of self reflection i have learned that a lot of people are jealous and insecure and its easier for them to project their insecurities on the other people rather than working with themselfs. Having a soft heart and being highly sensitive is a challenge in todays society because you often feel lonely but your video and your words have proven me again that im not a selfish person for protection my heart and energy and being reserved.💕💕

[@TomVable]

Hey, lots of courage from a fellow hsp! We can be soft and strong in this world...❤

[@leilaalrashidi5704]

I never had a grandmother while growing up. And lots of the time, I wish I had one, so I could learn from her maturity and wisdom. Yet I believe God has a reason for everything in our lives. But knowing Ms. Hart made me feel as if she was the grandmother I never realized I needed in my life. Watching and listening to her stories and what she has learnt throughout her whole life is an absolute gift. I can't thank you enough for what you've done to me and the impact you left on me. I hope that God blesses you with all of his endless love and comfort. ❤️🕊

[@zannaadedigba3936]

Amen!!!

[@vmwoodcock]

At 73 I know that all the things you say are true. Your videos are always so good have a nice day from Scotland in the U.K.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you very much

[@Tltawhr1]

Thank you, Sandra.You've helped me so much. I'm 42, lost my mom at 34, and you've so kindly helped me navigate life and advised me from such a warm and confident perspective. 🙏 💕 🙏

[@BlueleafDanny]

♥️

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I know it’s hard to lose you mother so early in life. I am so happy that you’re here and that my conversations may help you in some small way. We have a wonderful community here of caring subscribers

[@Tltawhr1]

@@lifewithsandrahart 🙏Yes, your community here is really wonderful. Have a beautiful day, Sandra. Looking forward to your video next week. 💕

[@betho.3542]

I also lost my mom early (I was 21) and Sandra has filled the empty place with such wonderful thoughts and advice - things my Mom might have taught me through the years. We're blessed to have met her here!

[@Tltawhr1]

@@betho.3542 Thank you for sharing, Beth. It really is amazing there are people like Sandra out there. I feel so blessed to have come across her channel. She's taught me so much, and I know there will never be anyone quite like my mom or her advice (and I still listen to my mom's words of wisdom from above), but Sandra really feels like a mentor and guiding light.

[@INSIDEBEAUTYwiththeoldgirl]

Hi Sandra, great points. It took me years to do what you are saying. It comes with age and spiritual maturity. I used to get hurt and upset if I felt mistreated, now I just say a prayer for the person. I now know that we have a choice in how we react to those type of situations. I don’t let my emotions control my feelings and having a soft heart comes easy now. Love and prayers to you, Sheila

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

Beautiful lessons learned. Set yourself free. I love it.

[@darnitthelma4247]

Yes walk away from anger & bitterness and leave them be. Praying for them is kind but I’d just feel better walking from the situation & leaving them to deal with their own insecurities/anger and keep head held high

[@INSIDEBEAUTYwiththeoldgirl]

@@ashleybergstrom8934 Thank you so much! You used the exact word to describe it, free! We can choose to free ourselves from all the turmoil chaos and random thoughts and what a glorious blessing that is.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Shelia I agree. It does take maturity to be able to develop that thick skin.

[@christinepearce2915]

I really needed this. The other day I had a very ugly argument with my neighbor's landscaper when he damaged something on my property and then denied he did it, even though I saw him. We got into a huge shouting match. After listening to you today, I have decided the best thing to do is to catch him off guard by apologizing to him for getting so upset the next time I see him. I'm sure when he sees me approaching him he will think that I am going to lay into him again. Instead, I'll kill him with kindness!

[@pearlhall3787]

This was such a nice chat. I've been told all my life that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is very difficult for me to not feel the pain of others, & cry at their misfortunes. I used to cry when my siblings got spanked. My dad would tell me to stop, or I'd be next getting the paddle. The other day, the song "Rockin Robin" was playing & I started crying, because I remembered our sweet Conure, Oliver, who died a few years ago. He was so funny, because he would always dance & sing, & bop his head to that song, but to no other song. It brought tears to my eyes remembering him. Things like that happen to me all the time. I try not to cry, but I can't seem to help it. I'm just super sensitive. I wish I wasn't. One thing that bothers me, is that I wear an essential oil, amber musk, always the same one, that I like. It makes me happy & It doesn't make me sneeze like perfume does. My grandchildren love the smell, & they want to hug me, because then their mom tells them they smell like Nana. Every time someone has hugged me, they tell me how good I smell. However, my sister always tells me I stink. She always makes a rude comment when I see her, about me stinking, even in front of other people. I don't tell her that her house stinks, when I visit her, which it does. It's just so rude, It makes me not want to be near her. She is also always complaining that I can't hear her, & she says negative things to me about that all the time. Finally, one day, I asked her to stop being so critical. I told her that she slurs her words, as if she is drunk, & that I do not constantly complained to her about that, & it's hard for me to understand someone who slurs their words. Actually, I had never told her that before, but its true. I never wanted to make her feel bad, but that day I told her to please stop being critical of me. Hopefully, she got the point. Of course, afterwards I felt bad about saying she slurs her words, but I was just so tired of her constantly being critical of me. I may be sensitive, but I'm not going to change me to please someone else. Your advice is very helpful. I love your channel.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for sharing and I’m happy to hear that you stood up for yourself and gave her a dose of her own medicine.

[@thedrivinginstructor6878]

I lost my mother last December (2021) and my father in May of this year. It's been rough, you and many other KZbinrs have helped me in some way, to move on. A day at the time.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So sorry you lost your parents. Thanks so much for sharing this with us

[@thedrivinginstructor6878]

@@lifewithsandrahart Thank you. It means a lot.

[@deborahmclaughlin532]

WONDERFUL words of wisdom and the perfect way to live.💞 I can only hope to implement all of these qualities. Forgiveness can be the hardest thing to do, especially when someone (i.e., a sister) has deeply hurt you - intentionally. I've forgiven her inwardly, but still keep her out of my life as a form of protection. I still consider this to be forgiving - but maintain my distance as insurance to not be a victim again.

[@barbarastein1173]

Thank you for the wonderful advice. I am thinned skin at 75. I never had enough courage or confidence to tell people how I really feel. I am a work in progress.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Keep working on that! ❤️

[@allisonmodaff5635]

You have a good growth mindset, Barbara! ❤️

[@Banana11128]

Sometimes though I'm glad I don't say what I'm thinkn coz words can't be taken back,it really depends though other times I do get annoyed with myself for not sayn what I need to

[@susanprentice9668]

Bless you Sandra. I am dealing with a very vicious husband who is just unhappy and can show great kindness. I learn so much from you.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I hope your husband will change. Do not let him be mean to you.

[@suzanzaman7942]

Walking in the ways of Jesus Christ has made me a different person, I have more patience,I'm forgiving and most importantly understanding that we are all sinners, we all carry hurt and misunderstanding no matter who or what you are we live in dark times it's so important to be the light. Jesus Christ said be the light of the world. Studying what Jesus Christ did and how he handled every situation was with wisdom and love.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts today

[@christined2495]

I was a thin skinned, sensitive person when younger. As years have passed, I have for sure changed.I don’t take things so personally, forgive and forget others, and honesty I don’t care that much anymore about what people say or do, or think…

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

Same here.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I agree Christine

[@juliet2751]

Soo me!!

[@audreyrobles1505]

You are such a beautiful woman. I'm approaching 49, and I have hopes to be as balanced as you are. Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us.

[@Rbeeline]

A person is never too old (we are close in age) to hear your sage advice, Sandra. Thanks once again for your gentle reminders on how to be a decent human being in this topsy-turvy world. You are appreciated greatly.

[@vitakhan307]

I think you either have a thick or a thin skin. Yes, life can add thickness to your skin, but it takes time and suffering before you can more resist misfortunes on your way… Thank you, Sandra. Have a wonderful week!!!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Vita, It truly is a learning process and does take time. With practice and wisdom.

[@debgilbert3206]

At 61 I still let people get to me. I think it's because of my mother's harsh treatment of me. Thank you once again for your motherly wisdom and gentle reminders.

[@mkbrown3902]

I'm caring for my narcissist borderline personality elderly mom who abused me my whole life. I have been learning about grace and compassion and still protection myself. I try to see this time as a gift to learn how to not react. It has been a BIG STRESSFUL journey. Taking time for myself has been huge. I am so isolated right now caring for both parents so watching your videos and others is my refuse. Thanks so much.

[@katierose1893]

I do as little as possible. Thankfully in Canada there are socialized affordable nursing homes. Not great quality but I can’t live with them so that’s all they get. I visit once a week for 2 hours.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I like the positive attitude that you have. It takes a lot of wisdom to turn around a situation that you’re in and put a positive spin on it. Blessings your way and stay strong.

[@tracyleecornish5398]

When I turned 40 I felt like that was a perfect place for me in my 20's I didn't know who I was yet there I was working full time a wife and a Mother took me a long time to find myself. Now at age 60 something I am very happy with where I am and who I am. I think age helps us gain more confidence as well as life experiences. I don't get worried or angry now because I know those people that hurt you are hurt and so I move on not wanting to own their problem as it is theirs not mine to sort. Being happy with who I am is also about letting go and being you when you do you will be very very happy as I am. Thank You Sandra for your wisdom and sharing it with all of us.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so much

[@lilaclilly198]

So inspiring and uplifting! I haveI been through so much trauma, rejection and abuse on every level, I am surprised I haven’t turned into concrete. Over many years I developed a thick skin. Inside am soft as marshmallow… Never loose your sense of humour. .. Every once in a while someone will get under my skin. Usually when am feeling vulnerable. . Thank you 🙏🏼 Sandra, I always feel better after watching your videos. 😘🤗🙏🏼

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us today.

[@dianemunson9698]

Only Jesus works for me 💯% of the time I highly recommend everyone try the soothing power of his all encompassing unconditional love

[@deborahpellerito6117]

Amen

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks Diane

[@bluejay5531]

This was a lovely inspiring video Sandra, I think it is really really a challenge when the people that constantly hurt you are your own family of origin. And when there is on their part no awareness and no owning it, no communication and mostly denial. I have been working on forgiveness forever, but I do feel deep inside that there is still resentment due to deep wounds in childhood that continue as an adult. And have been unable to thicken to my skin in spite of trying....still did no give up 🙏🌷

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Sometimes there are negative people in your life that you do have to eliminate. You can eliminate them but still forgive them for what they have done and how they act.

[@bluejay5531]

@@lifewithsandrahart 🙏

[@n.v.1173]

YOU ROCK, KEEP SHARING YOUR WISDOM! 🙏🏼💃🏻♥️🌟😊

[@marywahome7738]

Thank you Sandra for the light you bring to the world.♥️♥️

[@dianemunson9698]

Every single word you have said here today is so true Sandra but no one can accomplish these wonderful objectives without Gid because humans just do not possess the kind of unconditional love that you speak of.

[@lauranipper5084]

I beg to differ....I have that unconditional ❤️

[@dianemunson9698]

I meant God 🙏🏻🤗💜

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I think as children we are born with unconditional love, and sometimes along the way we forget that.

[@aprilhealan8639]

I appreciate your positive attitude and encouragement. So many things in this world are superficial and negative.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you April

[@susantaft6873]

Thank you for your sharing your wisdom! You said it perfectly. Because I have a thick skin people think that things don't hurt me. I get hurt like anyone else but I just 'let it go'. There's an internet photo of a little girl with a crown on her head, the heading says: "On the darkest days, when I feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy, I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown"! Love it!

[@aliciasmith3844]

Hi Sandra…. As usual another uplifting video that is so needed. I love your words of wisdom and guidance. As silly as this sounds I remember when I was 39 a woman at work said “ you should always keep your glasses on because of your wrinkles”. That bothered me so much. Looking back that was ridiculous. I always looked younger than I was. I think she was jealous and tried to hurt me. I wish I would have had thicker skin back then. Thank God I do now. ❤️Alicia

[@ivychicken]

Love this, Sandra! ❤ A soft heart must be protected. I can so relate to what you said about having a thin skin… I don’t think my skin is thick just yet, but it’s a work in progress! 💕

[@lifewithsandrahart]

It truly is a work in progress Ivy. It doesn’t happen overnight

[@daniacharles5541]

greetings to Sandra thank you for sharing the importance of a thick skin I always believe in being humble and wise humanity and 51 years of age I don't believe and keeping any one in my mind or in my heart I have a forgiven heart the key to happiness to focus on the positive live in the moment laugh in the moment I love every moment of your life thankful Wednesday to you Sandra blessings to you and your family continue doing what you're doing long as you can speak keep speaking long you can move your hand move it along you could move your feet you move it and you keep going with that faith I am a new subscriber to your channel so when you post up a new video can you please send it to me please 🌷🌷🌷🌷💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💙💙💙💙💙👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🌟🌟🌟🌟💐💐💐🌴🌴🌴🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🦜🦜🦜🐥🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🍒🍉🍊🍊🥭🥭🍍🍍🍍🍋🍋🍈🍈🍈🍏🍏🍐🥝🥝

[@JJJettplane]

I remember being a teenager and so angry at my dad. He was teaching me this very lesson and I will never forget it. Best advice he ever gave me and now that he's gone I ponder his words to me that day and am reminded that he too was a very sensitive person and had to make up for that with thick skin himself.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you for sharing that interesting memory. You must’ve had a wonderful father

[@nancybrone7985]

This is so wise. However, with me, I had the opposite. I had a thick skin when I was young and it thinned as I aged. There were times when a good friend would stop talking to me and refused to tell me why. I ruminated about it for a long time . After years went by, I found out what offense I committed and it was so minor and innocent that I was shocked. For example, I once said "I have been in enough weddings for a while that I want to take a break except I would stand up in your wedding." That caused the silent treatment for years. I tell my grandchildren to try and settle hard feelings but if they're ignored , to just walk away . It took a long time but I finally learned not to let others control my life. A priest once said when a situation like this happens, ask God to "Bless the other person and change me." It's not easy to do but it works.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for sharing Nancy. Good advice from the priest. .

[@shweetiepetina1563]

I like that, too.

[@jolindley9715]

Thank you Sandra, this was a little bit of what I needed to hear today. I stumbled upon your channel by accident and so glad I did. Each time I hear you, it's like I've visited family or a friend, who knows what I'm feeling and they give you that unconditional support and warmth. Given I don't have much of that in my life, I just want to say thank you. Warmest wishes to you ❤

[@betho.3542]

The perfect message. I live it every day (especially on facebook). At 65, I am a gentle, kind soul in need of this pep talk to toughen up! Thank you once again, Sandra.

[@delisamarchetti5926]

Hi Sandra, I am 59 years old and your words and channel are such a comfort to me as I enter into this new age in my life. No one ever really talks about this stage of life, and I find myself faced with many unexpected issues, and feelings. It feels like everything in life is changing so fast I can't keep up with it. Sometimes the changes are happy ones and other times they are difficult and disappointing. I have gained a lot of encouragement from your videos. Your natural beauty shines from your eyes and heart. Thank you for sharing and offering a hand to help up those who are behind you on life's ladder.

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

I love Love 😍😍😗😗😚😚😘😘👧👧❤❤🌷🌷🌷 You so soo much really I like u I m alone

[@meerutpat]

Hello Sandra. This is Patsy from England. I love to watch your videos and love how you talk with such depth of feeling about things that really matter in life. As I have got older my feelings have got deeper and more caring. Life can be so tough and lonely as we get older. It is so good to have someone like you to talk to. I love you very much Sandra and will watch you forever.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you Patsy! Sending love your way!

[@monikalenz2559]

Sandra, thank you. I often feel I am too thick skinned but I think we grow a thick skin over decades of having to deal with the many difficulties of life. I just today learned that my ex-husband died recently and I feel like I should be sad but surprised that I don't feel much of anything. I wonder how many others have felt guilty for not being sad when their ex dies? I had 24 years of a rocky marriage with him before alcoholic tendencies got to be more than I could deal with. I have a happy relationship going on 27 years now. Only got married again 5 years ago because I didn't want to risk another divorce. I'd developed a thick skin about marriage I guess! Your chats are so wonderful. Thank you thank you!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Oh I hear you Monika! A bad relationship or marriage really kills whatever is inside of you as far as compassion for the other person. How smart, you are to wait in your next relationship to be sure it was going to be good for both of you. thanks so much for sharing and I’m happy to have you here.

[@mamaritz1128]

Another soulful message. Thanks Sandra. My experiences have helped me developed thick skin and my loved ones especially my husband, sons, parents & siblings keep me soft-hearted.

[@myfreespirit67]

Thank you for sharing your light Ms. Sandra. 🙏❤️🙏😇🙏

[@brendabrooks9699]

Seriously Sandra I try everyday but I struggle so much. In everyone else’s eyes I’m sure they think I have the perfect life. I have a husband of 35 years , 3 children and 4 grandsons a nice home and nice car but when you have depression nothing is good. But you do help me a lot. I do not have a thick skin. I love hard I hurt even harder over the littlest things and the big things put me down for weeks. I have good days and bad but it just all depends on mainly the start of my day if everything starts off bad it stays bad. But you’re beautiful inside and out.

[@52janethatcher]

Same here at 70.

[@brendabrooks9699]

@@52janethatcher I’m 56 and lived a whole life of depression. I can remember being a kid with a great family and spending most days crying. It’s clinical depression it’s terrible

[@bluejay5531]

I understand, depression has been in my life forever too..

[@brendabrooks9699]

@@bluejay5531 The pain is so deep no matter what I do I can’t get out. No medication no therapy. I pray I try to live by doing great things for others that helps. But I’ve had a lot of death and that’s the most painful.

[@bluejay5531]

@@brendabrooks9699 so sorry Brenda, I know how it feels...I am still very depressed and it has been decades, what has helped me a little, to hang on are the little things, day after day...nature is truly truly healing, if you have even the tiniest park, street with trees, go there and have a quiet walk, or sit, listen to the birds, watch the trees, learn to breathe, be mindful, slow down, do not follow your thoughts...do not believe all of your thoughts...try to focus on small things you can be grateful for, look into what you are eating and how this can be so related to our mental health, and if and how you are sleeping..if you have some friends, talk, communicate what you are going through or look for a support peer group maybe nearby...sending you healing vibes..

[@rainicascadia5514]

You are such a delight! I wish I could have been a daughter of yours. My life would've turned out better. 💗💗💗🌹

[@lifewithsandrahart]

You are so very kind.

[@Batkin_Art]

Great advice. The difficult part is when you or others are hurt, not necessarily on purpose. Usually this is where ignorance comes into the picture. It's difficult for me to not take the opportunity to put them in their place and hopefully educate someone on topics they don't understand. This is how society and we as humans move forward after all. But in return you're often seen as easily offended or aggressive. It's a difficult battle. But it feels necessary. By not saying anything or easily forgive in these situations, can send a signal that their behavior and logic is ok. I guess it comes down to the way you approach these things..

[@oldvinezen9857]

May I suggest a beautiful book to you and your subscribers? It's titled, The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz. The Four Agreements are, Be impeccable with your word, Don't take anything personally, Don't make assumptions, Always do your best. I like to think of my skin as not getting tougher but more pliable, more relaxed, almost like a shedding away of the old skiin that has absorbed so much pain and hurt over the years to rejuvenate and renew itself. Perhaps this could be called "wisdom".What ever analogy we choose, I love your ideas and thoughts. Thank you so much!!!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I really appreciate your book suggestion to all of us. I am always looking for new inspiration and reading about self improvement. You I’m sure will find that many of our subscribers will appreciate your contribution to all of us today. Thank you so much for sharing

[@MaryEllenAfter60]

Good afternoon, Sandra. I was in my early 30's when I realized I needed thicker skin. Then, it had to get a little thicker once I started my channel. Excellent video, my friend. Blessings, prayers, and love..MaryEllen

[@lifewithsandrahart]

LOL! We never know about the comment section. 99.9 % are so kind and respectful. The other we can’t take personally. Love you bunches my kind friend.

[@Karen-nq8du]

These are beautiful truths and well worth the practice. I needed to be reminded of this today. I read once that when people say critical things, it says more about them than it does about you. Sometimes when I'm set back by an unkind comment I think, "Oh poor you! You must be really miserable to talk like that." Usually, then I'm able to feel compassionate and unaffected. Bless you, Sandra. You're a gift to us all. xo karen

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

I totally agree it is more about them. 100%. I love what Dr. Phil says. "What other people think of you, is NONE of your business".

[@darcyb6678]

Maybe so, but unfortunately when you have to live with them on a daily basis it becomes your business. 🙁

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

@@darcyb6678 Sorry to hear that. That is very difficult. My own lesson learned is I removed myself from that person and became emotionally well again. Certainly not easy, but healthy. All the best.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

That’s how I often feel. But if someone is negative around me and continues to be so, I eliminate them for my life

[@Karen-nq8du]

@@lifewithsandrahart Same

[@lindabuono7893]

In the book by Joel Osteen, I Declare - " When you allow what someone says or does to upset you, you're allowing them to control you." Forgive and forget. It's better for you and the other person as well.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for sharing Linda. So true.

[@luciatat4084]

Be careful with Joel Osteen. He seems to be a sheep but he is a wolf, dressed as a sheep.

[@luciatat4084]

What you said here is true, but be careful with false people like him.

[@duenawatkins6689]

Some of my life experiences that were painful but did not destroy me, caused me to be resilient, able to bounce back, be more compassionate, forgiving, understanding. Yes, my heart is still child- like, in some ways, , and there is a quiet strength, a force that surrounds my precious tender heart. I have learned as I age ( 60 years old now) to communicate when my feelings are hurt, if an offense occured worth mentioning so I do not harbor un-forgiveness; I do not want a root of bitterness to spring up in my spirit. I wanna be free.. Free to be my authentic loving kind witty quirky self.. 😂😊 I appreciate your wisdom. ✌🌻

[@KenDrPH]

You’ve said it all however, it’s OK for one to be vulnerable…I believe allowing this to show belies an inner strength as well…at 71, one thing I’ve learned is to give love and always be kind, we all have a choice. We only get one Life and it goes fast but if done with love and authenticity, once is enough 💕🌈

[@MM-gr4sn]

Hi Sandra, I'm a viewer from Sydney Australia. I am in my late 20s. Thank you for generously passing on your wisdom.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you so much

[@vilmatakamine9960]

Thank you Sandra for your words of wisdom 🙏 I will try 🤞 to remember them. The other day I was at a target store and the clerk was kinda "short/rude" and I thought to myself, maybe she's having a bad day 🤔 . We do owe it to ourselves to be a little bit more aware of what's going on around us, instead of living in our own little bubble. Love your videos ❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So very true!

[@PraveenSriram]

I work as a cashier at Wegmans and I’m nice to everyone even the rude people

[@PeachesSkinCare]

Your words are gold. I have a very soft heart and my skin is not that thick unfortunately. My heart is big and I am a huge empathetic, not the best thing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I never put on a false front and I am always just, who I am. I don’t understand people that are unkind, hurtful or unwilling to help others. To me making someone else happy or helping others,is everything. I surround myself with amazing humans and at 56 , I try not to take thing personally, but if I see a wrong being done I will be the first one to say something. 🍑🧡🙌🏻Lisa

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Lisa you always have the best attitude. You’re you’re doing the right things in your life and you’re helping so many people with your skills. Thanks for sharing

[@PeachesSkinCare]

@@lifewithsandrahart 🙌🏻🍑🧡

[@redruby747]

U described me

[@PeachesSkinCare]

@@redruby747 awww love knowing your out there Rosy. Have a blessed and beautiful week🙌🏻🧡🍑Lisa

[@Stephanie_TheLightworker]

I’m so sorry people leave mean comments. I’m proud of you for not taking it personally. God bless u and thank u for making this video. Have a wonderful day.

[@nancymarwick9764]

Thank you for your beautiful message ❤️ Forgiveness is key and not taking things personally frees my spirit immediately. Today in northern Minnesota the birds are singing so magically and my yard and flowers are beautiful….so blessed and many blessings sent to you as well❤️

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Sounds beautiful!

[@robertaperazzo6205]

Thank you. I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me, I send a letter for both of them, forgiving their actions and I found it healing and ready to move on and to give my heart to someone that’s true. Some would say that I was weak but I’m not angry I just true love in my life and theirs, if it’s what they wish for.

[@kevinhanley6462]

Thank you for this comforting video. It really helped my mum and I found it useful. We're both very upset right now as yesterday, I found out a friend from childhood has passed away. Your video has had a calming effect on her and will play it again tomorrow night.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

[@tommieslayden4105]

Happy birthday, Sandra! You are a true inspiration for thoughtful living. My 70th birthday is this week, coming at the end of three weeks of a serious bout of covid. It has made my birthday more special, despite the fact that I am weak as a kitten. Physical therapy will get me back in shape, and I want to do as you say, be kind to myself, and move forward with my life.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Happy Birthday!!!

[@TheLittleBlueFly]

What honest and loving points you touched on. Individuality is something to be cherished, loved and always shared. Everything I do is with kindness and love. We all don’t see the color wheel of life in the same way. But, with compassion, respect, and always love for one another we can paint a beautiful landscape that can pass on for years to come. May beauty surround your day, Sandra!🌷

[@carolefox6553]

Sandra, I think a gentle heart and thick skin (thick skin meaning objective and confident) go together and are both the result of being open and positively expectant, rather than feeling we have the need to protect ourselves. There are people with different personalities and prospectives all around us and each of us wants the freedom to choose with whom to associate and to what extent. Problems arise for me if I misinterpret rejection as hurtful... or if I have unrealistic expectations or if actual malice is involved and I haven't removed myself from the situation. Yes, you're right. A gentle heart and thick skin make life a lot better.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

I have a sister who finds joy in throwing jabs and insults at me every chance she gets. Especially when other people are around. I just ignore her. I used to get really upset about it, in private, wondering why she is so mean, but now I just feel pity for her. Sad she is the way she is, and thankful I am the way I am. No good comes out of mulling it over. SHE is the one with the problem.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Absolutely Ashley. You’re doing the right thing. Underneath she may be very jealous of you for some reason

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

@@lifewithsandrahart Others have told me that. I feel such freedom now. Thank you for your reply Sandra.

[@AllahsServant12]

I LOVE how you tie your neck scarf. Will you do a tutorial please?! :)

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I have done several tutorials on neck scarf time. Please check out my playlists

[@AllahsServant12]

@@lifewithsandrahart aaah thank you! Will definitely check that out 🌻🌻

[@dorothybilbroroot4701]

Sandra, I enjoy your videos and watch because I usually learn something useful. I have never written a disagreeing comment to anyone. Throughout my life, I have had to put up with these kind of people, school, work, family. At this time in my life, if I come into contact with this type of person, I can see absolutely no reason to play that game. I don't want to plot to take person off-gaurd or disarm them as you say. Bottom line, they are the same person always and they enjoy being this way. It might change the situation temporarily, but this personality will always come back. There are so many good, kind and caring ones in my life, why would anyone bother with them? My experience is, this is a readout of who they are and these are built-in traits. It is relatable to dogs eating meat, birds preferring seeds. These kind thrive on this and enjoy. Sorry, life is short, and there are so many good people. I choose the good ones!!

[@user-pk6bo4vg9w]

I always feel fantastic when I listen to you. Bless your heart Sandra.

[@pchase1213]

And we never know, how that person may be presenting us a lesson, That our egos aren’t expecting . I suppose there is always an intuitive knowing in all situations, but your advice to not react and be thoughtful as to how their life is going, is sage

[@darinabantle5801]

Blessings dear Sandra ☺️ and thanks a lot 😊 Your amazing video means a lot to me 😊

[@carmengloriazambranogaete2651]

Thanks Sandra, you are a great person, you help me a lot, it is very hard to me to express what I really feel about what you say, my language is Spanish, I live in Chile I’m Chilean, but I hope you can understand what I’m feelimg about your words

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Yes Carmen. Thank you ever so much

[@tamathagilbert5816]

Absolutely Sandra. A thick skin and kind heart is vital...🎀🙏🎀

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Absolutely Tamatha

[@lesliekaye1199]

Yes l also wear my heart on my sleeve I have to develop a thick skin I am an Empath Forgive with grace Don't take things personally Yes.. Don't let other people get under your skin I have control over how l will react I am not a weak person We all have been rejected at some time Others have no right to put you down Forgive...

[@dloveofgod8269]

Hello Sandra, what a wonderful video. Great advice! You're a treasure 💕. I do pray God create in me a kind heart & a right spirit. It's taken me a lifetime to learn some of these lessons to let the harsh words bounce off and grow in kindness, forgiveness and generosity. My best to you, Arthur and your family 💕.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so very much for sharing your thoughts with us today. I always love hearing from you.

[@AboutCreativity1]

That's Good, Keep Going! "Greatness is the ability to recognize the power of your own mind, to embrace it, and use it. - Napoleon Hill,1883-1970" OR "When we are no longer able to change a situation; we are challenged to change ourselves. - Viktor Frankl,1905-1997" & "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl,1905-1997"

[@justmaria5806]

S: It is helpful for us to hear this and I know it is helpful for you to say it. I might be off base but I feel you might be going thru this in your own life right about now. Your desire to share this life skill is what makes all of us come back to really listen to you..... to hear you.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for all of those wonderful quotes

[@lindablum3226]

Love the Viktor Frankl quotes.

[@lorettafreeland2219]

Wow you have that right forgiveness will free us sandra you have a gift and you share it

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks so much

[@cameronmonteath4910]

Thank you Sandra. Sometimes I wonder whether having a thick skin is an innate thing. This shows me that it's a skill that can be developed. At this time it's really important for me - especially as a young person. It gets me thinking whether people are born with certain traits(and others not) or whether they are developed(through childhood, adulthood etc). Sometimes I look at other people my age who are much thicker skinned than I - and I definitely would love to be just like that - the process of being mentally tougher. Hopefully with time things will improve. Thank you so much for this video :)) Sending all the very best wishes your way. Cameron

[@charlenewilliford6957]

Always happy to see you. It is absolutely necessary to develope a thick skin. Now more than ever!! Take care

[@debsheartfeltchannel1726]

You have such a sweet spirit and a loving heart ❤️. A wonderful person, I’d love to have as a forever friend! Your daughter is blessed to have such a wise and loving mother 💕

[@godislove7688]

Thank you Sandra for sharing with all of us and for your kindness 💐 . God bless you 💜🙏

[@VAgnerian18]

Great points' very helpful with your calm demeanor and description' as a recent widow' after 45 years of traditional married life' being thin skinned and soft and fragile soul' emotionally bullied by the in-law gang' going through grief' the video of those past years keep rewinding and replaying over and over' but listening to you has become my therapy of the day' - - - Laura

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Laura. I’m glad this may have you thinking about things.

[@sherrydropauer1518]

The best advice I’ve heard in a very long time. Peace be with you. I always say nobody is going to steal My peace

[@deniseroth1]

Forgiveness has been so important to me over my life. As I have learned to forgive and let go of resentment I have found true freedom. I check myself daily for this. If I find myself feeling hurt over something I try to analyze the situation and really determine what is the root cause of that hurt. Have I been guilty of the same thing? Would I want to have forgiveness given to me? Yes! Thank you for your words of wisdom. You are a true blessing, Sandra.🙌🏻🙏🏻❤️

[@b_740]

Thank you. My dad was actually talking about this with me today and it finally clicked. I can't explain it, but it just clicked and I cried cause people definitely have hurt me but the concept just made sense and I thank God for that and for people like you who give this wisdom for people who don't have dad's like mine. ♡ Your channel truly is a *blessing* thank you! 🤗

[@sunshinegirl4101]

You were lucky Sandra having a father to give you good advice. My father called me a good for nothing and that is how I developed a thick skin and had to build up my confidence over the years.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I’m sorry your father made you feel that way, but you were able to turn it around and make it a positive in your life

[@patricia753]

Great advice Sandra! We all need compassion, both for ourselves and other's, especially when our feelings have been hurt! ❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So true!

[@patsy6589]

Good advice, unfortunately I have a hard time forgiving my husband when he is in a grumpy mood and takes it out on me. Guess I'll have to develop better communications skills. Wish I could get my husband to listen to your wonderful advice you so lovingly share each week. It's hard not to take things personally coming from your spouse, the person you are closest to. I can't believe anyone would give you a hateful comment, that's the craziest thing I've heard so far today, but it's early.

[@denisecieslinski9476]

I have learned alot if hard lessons but I will never change my heart ❤

[@judithgreen3689]

Developing a thick skin to protect a tender heart is good advice. Certainly, knowing your own truth, and following your own dreams in spite of others, friends of no friends is the only way to live a full life. I wish my younger self understood that. Sad that some of us don’t develop a tick skin until we’re old.

[@ninafrederick6048]

What i want. I keep getting manipulated over and over again cause of my big heart. I wanna protect my heart enough to say no. And to remember no matter how much u love somebody(family,friends,love life. ESPECIALLY family) not to dismissive bad behaviours. I cant blame myself cause i was younger and a kid who feared bad things happenening. I also feared thinking im playing victim or being badminded. Im saying i took a huge part in gaslighting my own self cause i didnt like when bad things happen...so i felt to far away from knowing my own self cause i dismissed every bad thing and blame myself...just to keep peace around me. Now i know and have been practicing i cannot blame the actions of others on myself and not dismissive bad behaviour

[@marysmith8876]

Hi Sandra. Thank you, you are always so wise. Blessings to you xx

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Blessings Your Way, Mary

[@alyona_karpushina]

Dear Sandra, thank you for your video 👍 Such useful information 🌟

[@brigianna4869]

you are so beautiful! thank you for your wisdom❤

[@lindabowman6459]

Thank you so much for your wisdom. It seems to be the only way to survive these days is for us to build up a thick skin to survive having a soft heart.

[@benedictepoutou5646]

Dear Sandra, I'm a new subscriber and I'm happy to have discovered your channel a few weeks ago. Since that, I"ve watched lots of your past posts and now, I'm glad every wednesday morning to follow your talking. I learned so much listening to your advices, always so right and so fair, and to your experiences that your share with us. Your are such an example for me and you help me to reach the best version of myself . I try to follow your advice and every day, find joy and hapiness - also do something unuusual or particular like now in writing a comment. .. what I ' ve never donc before ! - and when the day is over, I'm gratefull for each moment I've had. Thank you so much for your kindness . Looking forward to wednesday ! Patricia ps : sorry for the writing mistakes, my english is little poor- I'm french

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Patricia, Thank you so much for commenting and letting me know that you are here and are enjoying my channel. I am just so happy to have you. Thank you so very much for all of your kind remarks and I hope you will comment again to let me know how you were doing.

[@carrieannstocks4715]

Thank you Sandra, I needed to hear this.❤️❤️

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for watching and being here.

[@mc9145]

I agree, it’s hard.. I have been the nicest to some of these kinds of people and I am shocked when I hear from other third party people that these people have said mean things about me.. very hard to be nice in that situation.. But you are right.. if we get nasty in return, we played right into their hands.. Forgive and forget is the only way out of that toxic loop.. it’s hard but it’s the right way..

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So very true.

[@user-mq3gt2ht6m]

thank you! you help me so much! I feel very bad now because of the war, because of the constant shelling and air raids. you are my island of peace!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

My prayers and blessings your way. We all pray for peace and you are in our thoughts.

[@gabrielamaja9672]

Music to my ears... thank you.

[@Fahim_Lalani]

Try to develop a thick skin is my fav advice from you dear

[@gildasomia3461]

Sandra you give such wonderful advice, I'm so grateful to have found you on this site! You remind me of my childhood confidant Aunty Flo, she taught yoga into late 80 years. You bring such peace into my life. Bless you Sandra, Gilda from Australia 💖