Bert Kreischer Answers The Internet's Weirdest Questions

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Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 8 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Bert Kreischer to the test.
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#AnswerTheInternet #BertKreischer

[@AnswertheInternet]

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[@ellstackeradventures]

:)

[@manofeire4945]

Funny as fuck, my ribs r killing me give this man an Oscar 🏆

[@taylorsmuin5298]

You guys did your math wrong you forgot leap year

[@thetayterminator1436]

Now I know what quicksand & time stop porn is thanks to this hahaha

[@joshuahales7551]

This guy looks exactly like that comedian Bernt Chrysler

[@momobobo5430]

Kert brystler

[@garretshook3911]

Dude same thought! Could be related?

[@jasonnorton4468]

Burp Cry-Shart

[@joshuahales7551]

@@garretshook3911 could be. Possibly cousins.

[@joshuahales7551]

@Drennan Campbell hi, you're hope?

[@alfonzo9289]

I would love to see Bert and his cousin on a podcast, after those 2 stories alone. Anyone that can shock Bert with their antics, is on a whole different level.

[@eriksolce7000]

Bert hosts one of the longest running podcasts

[@sisyr5615]

@@eriksolce7000 yeah but is his cousin on it?

[@alext7t604]

eyyyyyy

[@Wwattz]

The abe and ari podcast.

[@anthonyzullo]

Rhan vehnolds van wilder was adapted from a news story about bert.

[@traywhitsell5159]

True fans know the Machine can't read. He memorized all of those flashcards. They just look like hieroglyphics to him

[@Isaac-od4rm]

They're essentially Charlie's dream journal from iasip

[@jcarson3721]

"You have to remember, I was giving an interview in a language with which I was unfamiliar with their alphabet"

[@kodamatthews9016]

star circle hashtag shoe

[@makerstudios5456]

They taught him to recognize certain symbols like Koko the gorilla. “Burt want raindrop drink!”

[@brendtman]

That's some funny shit

[@Mperkins813]

They aren't "frozen, they are actors just pretending" well gosh damn bert...thanks for clearing that up

[@foolapprentice3321]

I like "gosh damn" because it almost isnt blasphemy and then it is

[@foolapprentice3321]

@Vince Kinney google the definition of blasphemy

[@foolapprentice3321]

@Vince Kinney lol you sure? Humor me

[@SportsTalkLive13]

2:40 is the embodiment of “I’m not gay but $20 is $20”

[@dadams106]

i'm not saying anything, but as soon as over 150 dollars are involved, I am no longer me and I wish you to respect my choices

[@VexillariusMusicEDM]

Has Bert ever completed an entire thought

[@brento4605]

Vexillarius he’s working on it

[@justinbeagle5805]

Well, where he ends it, it's completed. Who wants to think more than that?

[@Sickwithit355]

@@justinbeagle5805 Not Burnt Crystals

[@eriktorres6994]

He just goes through the best parts of multiple thought then there's not much to finish anyway

[@DewDewMegaDeeDee]

Nope

[@mugzie3989]

5 dollars for hand sanitizer? He’s really living in the past

[@ruskiy7]

lmao

[@nicholassnider1486]

Id get two 4 lokos

[@HicktownHero3030]

Moonshine

[@armpit_farts7327]

3.50 for a tall boy was what blew my mind... I though NY was an expensive place to live, damn.

[@kaitlyns9972]

Nicholas Snider exactly what I said lol

[@Larsove8]

*Q* Bert, what is your favorite colour? *Bert -* So, this one time......

[@jcrumrine7816]

"Qbert,what's your favorite color?" Qbert : "#@+-&%"

[@SilencedPlasmaSnake]

I felt that

[@travis7350]

I’m not saying Bert is Hitler all I’m saying is they have never been in the same room together

[@michaelmorgan6674]

hhahahahaahhaahah

[@PancakeProduct]

Okay, Norm.

[@ryansanchez319]

He robbed a train with Hitler in Russia

[@teknacious]

High key tremendous

[@christianvolland9194]

😂😂

[@GinandGrapefruit]

Bert should call his new new special “ a tall boy and a black and mild”

[@nicfoster4094]

this comment will always be underrated

[@jawnjacob7573]

Idk why he chose a tallboy over a 40 though. A 40 of Hurricane or St. Ides and a black used to be my jam in highschool.

[@user-eh3jb6qf1y]

@@jawnjacob7573 the breakfast of champions

[@uncommon0belief]

I think Bert Kreisher is the only one that went all in on ask the internet Lol!

[@EdoKwin]

He actually just rolled with everything straight off and had fun. A lot of other people overthink it.

[@Protectobot]

When he said 'ask' the internet, I thought maybe he was already drunk 😝

[@TheRacingMonkey]

I love Burnt Chrysler!

[@matthewabdel-missih281]

Same but I think Bret Crystals is way better!

[@travisinthetrunk]

About damn time you guys had Bert on here.

[@jamesmason7979]

The Time Traveler's Wife thing was equal parts hilarious and touching.

[@TheWalkingDavid]

James Mason glad I didn’t have to type this. It’s a great movie. Underrated

[@KineticTaco]

Bert is dying on the inside even thinking about a seltzer water with the sunset 👍

[@BertaRawDawg]

Best part is having the setup on this one not be perfect. I feel like the kid gagging and throwing up + the camera falling over happened on the most acceptable episode. Bert seems like the most down to earth, don't treat me like a celebrity kinda guy.

[@markrasta9046]

Forrest Harvey he’s a compulsive liar and fake laughs and brags about his success

[@1492Jam]

Mark Rasta You just described every stand up comedian ever

[@ericrenquist6494]

@@markrasta9046 I agree that his bragging can get annoying. One time on Rogans podcast he went on and on about all the awesome shit he's done, riding motorcycles through Veitnam , ziplining five billions miles an hour etc.

[@MrJamesohh]

@@markrasta9046 he has never had a "real" job, of course you would brag about that. He has taken the piss his entire adult life and people paid him to. That is worth bragging about.

[@thedeafgenius]

Kid is a pussy and shouldnt be working at barstool.

[@user-zb6lg1xj3k]

2:06 “but they’re not actually frozen!” Hahahah no shit Burnt

[@trippwhitaker1809]

If $5 doesn’t get you drunk you’ve never bought 2 four lokos in Florida and funneled them both

[@Laizerdisk]

The season finale of the revival of "I Shouldnt Be Alive" is gonna be your story

[@Lamm2910]

2 for 5 all day

[@alefever93]

@Let Tice Hand Grenades ain't shit

[@alexstroud3854]

Yeah, he must be losing touch with his Floridian roots. I'm in Georgia but I'd go to Quick Trip and grab a $3.50 bottle of wine, that'll get you somewhere at least. Or get like 3 cans of 8.5% Schlitz "The Bull". I'm a drunkard on a budget XD

[@kaitlyns9972]

Tripp Whitaker my initial thought lol

[@ARKHAMxMaverick]

The only thing funnier than that guy puking is when Bert dry heaves himself.

[@benjohannes7873]

Brent Crystals is THE best person for this game

[@nutty5127]

Ben Johannes burp chrysler

[@vipinsanthosh2764]

New special "hey big boy" out on Netflix. Gotta do your work for you Bert

[@deshaundozier]

Vipin Santhosh watched half and it was ok.

[@sleepeasyfriends3149]

Vipin Santhosh it sucked

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

I _loved_ it! His youngest daughter sounds so fun.

[@jamesl3426]

deshaun dozier Secret time was better

[@For_The_Watch]

Bianca Bloom I thought it was really good as well. I was in literal tears when he was taking about his 2 favorite things to do with his gun 🤣🤣😂😂

[@ShivaRainchild]

We already know the answer of the question in the thumbnail.

[@jaygroomes1357]

More comedians need to be more interactive like Bert rather than just answering the questions boringly

[@1untamedbrain]

You can tell he's authentic. He's just naturally a person that pulls in the entire room when he's speaking. He has what they call a magnetic personality.

[@elias6570]

1untamedbrain it’s a shame he’s so racist. He could do really good things with his career if he hung up his klan hood

[@daddumleitgames6019]

E lias how is he racist lol?

[@kayamorris3144]

daddumleit games I’m curious as well

[@perrywinklefartsniffer6630]

@@daddumleitgames6019 ask tom segura

[@michaelabulman8451]

I almost didn't recognize him with a shirt on

[@Protectobot]

DAMN, I guess someone had to beat me to it. He's very proud of his beer belly ^_^

[@iann399]

This is by far my favourite one 😂😂😂

[@theduder2617]

Fingers crossed for more with Bert! He tells an entire story with every answer. It's awesome! lol

[@ColejoeBRO]

He could’ve bought a Four Loko and chugged it. Anyone gets smacked off those!!

[@michaelperez3413]

Abe “ who couldn’t stand to do a little bit better huh “ bro I laughed my ass off 😂😂😂

[@addisonjacoby]

I love how in depth he goes into the questions

[@OdinsSon22]

They say women talk more than men, berts an exception.. he talks more than 10 women combined

[@lightt5209]

The "would you rather be drunk 24/7, or never drunk again" dilemma is one that alcoholics face literally everyday. just saying.

[@dragonflybtchbauer7655]

Time Traveler's Wife IS AMAZING! I didn't know I would like it so much. I think their wedding day was one of my favorite scenes other than the one Bert mentioned

[@DJWideNigga]

This guy is a legend The machine forever😂💯

[@Barry-Sweaty]

Burnt Chrysler looks like he hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in weeks, love you Burnt

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

How to know you've got an alcohol problem: not understanding that being drunk and never having a drink aren't the same thing.

[@pogosticksrreal]

That Time Travelers Wife synopsis legit made me start crying

[@Winterknows]

I just watched your Netflix special, it was amazing! I laughed so hard my husband thought I was crazy!

[@staceydiggan805]

I would break my hand to get out of Dave Matthews Band...🤷🏼‍♀️

[@stagglee1227]

Bert freakin' TAKES OVER a room...

[@matthewrossilini5808]

Lorenzo's Oil. I don't cry, but that movie was gut wrenching

[@jamesjemo4954]

Thought I was going straight to the drunk question but stayed through the whole thing, never laughed this hard in so long

[@cxh6779]

8:50 I believe he’s insinuating that he is currently doing that 😂

[@jackygreenhow9889]

this us so funny! the behind the scenes interaction with bert is the cherry on top

[@nzajflynn]

I've watched a bunch of these, noone else holds a candle to Bert.

[@lerrickduque4152]

This is what the world needed in a time like this🥺 greatest episode yet

[@MrBob2212]

I was brushing my teeth to this and spit so much toothpaste out when the host yelled “you can finish in a nicer place than IN HIS ASS” 😂

[@hidorikadoom4776]

I like how he makes just everyone around him talk more and more it’s friggen hilarious

[@AnxiousStacker]

Bert and his cousin would be the best duo to just go out on the town with, would be constantly cracking up. Matt and shane would be the best to stay in and chill with, bert and his cousin going out with.

[@eriktorres6994]

"I'm hearing a lot of 'forever' talk" lmao Imagine doing rehab for some hard AF drugs and then you can't even have a drink anymore ever 😭

[@In_Case_Im_Fake]

Hey producer! let's get on that spill! that green is leakin cuz!

[@taedo7661]

Other folks just answer, I love how Bert actually puts serious thought into his answers. It's great.

[@galenleslie5768]

This is the best episode I've seen this guy is fantastic!

[@poyoloko1961]

If ur gonna have bert on here he better be wasted

[@brandonolson7507]

He was shit faced on Legion of Skanks last week and it was rough

[@simonmckendry9298]

This game was made for Bert. Loved his new special.

[@LetsBuild_withBabyByrd]

"IM CATCHING LOADS!.... is he puking? Cant think about catching loads?!" LMFAO 😂💀😂💀😂

[@julenguerrero1353]

We need a part 2 please 😂 this is the best one

[@edithmr21o]

"My daughter is going to search me someday say 'i miss dad' watch this and be like 'wtf'?" Awe dont say that we want you around for a long time

[@pmurpmur]

anybody else think the mark in the bottom right (just left of the logo) was a smudge on their screen and tried to get it off?

[@timestamptramp6192]

This is my new favorite channel, subbed!

[@briancluff6513]

4:45 😂 “Oh F” camera pans up

[@rnajarro11]

YES!!!! FINALLY YOU GOT HIM ON!!!!

[@DeadInTheFace]

ray najarro he been on

[@kaptainhugz7695]

I am so impressed that Bert was able to go 17 minutes without being racist

[@Brandon.Murphy]

Kaptain Hugz what about at 2:17?

[@ogfunctionn]

@@Brandon.Murphy not racist at all lmao. He simply couldnt do a Japanese accent so he did another. Hows that racist? Fuck outta here with your nitpicking bullshit

[@QueenNelly14]

Function YESSSS!!!!

[@Brandon.Murphy]

Function I was joking

[@mbrady8946]

One of the best in this series!

[@TheStefan6969]

Bert is so hilarious!!!! I'd love to hangout with him!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@dereklasker5350]

This the best one next to biznasty and Cody ko/Noel Miller

[@s.d.3236]

What movie made you cry? This clip at “fire in the hole” while trying to not laugh at work.

[@ricklee4220]

This is the best thing I've watched in a long time

[@nicklight7818]

4:16 I lost it when he gaged hard.. crying laughing!

[@ri1079]

What they didn’t know is that Bert was hammered here and nobody knew

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

God damn I love him. His new special had me roaring laughing. I love how he really considers the questions too, looking at both side and picking them apart. That’s some top notch critical thinking buddy.

[@blackmass5846]

This is the best interview right now omfg 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@batmantoast8013]

Definitely one of the best guests on this show!!!

[@SobaHoe]

Haha jokes on him can’t even buy hand sanitizer anymore

[@TheCpadron19]

Original can of four locos before they took the caffeine out.

[@YungYemen]

Lol was thinkin the same.

[@TheCpadron19]

@@YungYemen blackout in a can.

[@baileyoneill8123]

Bert getting math explained to him and it just saying [Explains Math] is classic

[@ScottWaa]

This is my favorite interview since he did that morning tv show.

[@SvgeMars]

I’ve only ever seen 1 of this guys jokes, but after watching this, he seems hilarious. Just saw his Netflix special, gonna go watch it. Any other good specials he has?

[@steph_hunt6007]

He has a stand up called "flying dildos" hilarious

[@etangbose4755]

All of them

[@SvgeMars]

@@etangbose4755 lol this was forever ago. I’ve went and watched most of them haha

[@mikeridgland4783]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see Bert doing barstool content..but what I would give to see Joey Diaz come on ATI or some other barstool series .

[@missnerdynurse5923]

Mike Ridgland oh FUCK YES. I fuck love me some Joey Coco Diaz!

[@zjp692004]

now my favorite episode! love bert

[@noahdickinson6975]

this is the absolute best one

[@antonyohara]

how much is a tall boy like seven bucks? wow rich guy moment

[@VivaLaGolf42]

Antony O'Hara I wonder if this is also because everywhere he drinks (LA, big cities, airports, hotels, etc) have super inflated prices compared to “normal” cities

[@coldpocket1988]

You can get a four loko for less than 5

[@lowkeykeylow5526]

1.89 for a tall boy of hurricane here in Washington state

[@ArmyofBulldogsProductions413]

I'd rather brake my hand than go to a Dave Matthews concert.

[@brandoncarter1173]

I'll break my hand and still go to a Dave Matthews concert.

[@savehimgffff1777]

Why? Their live concerts are awesome!

[@teknacious]

@@brandoncarter1173 damn right and possibly a future millionaire

[@Rob_0011]

LOL man cooking show is awesome

[@sonintrepidus]

Best kind of guy to do this sort of thing

[@TheDoomWorm]

Im watching this on Home Office... I really hope the IT department isnt recording my microphone

[@gracehampton7036]

Why is it that instead of explaining the math they just wrote “explains math”

[@robertjmckenna]

Been binging ATI episodes the last few days and one of the best.

[@lukemeadus8076]

This is a masterpiece 😂

[@pepespliff8980]

Every stoner has talked about having the weed stat we always talk about I wonder how much weed I've smoked in my life time

[@dakodatrumble4981]

Too got dayum much

[@pepespliff8980]

@@DistractedArachnid yeah I always think that I could have my own house with a nice car and have holidays and all that but I guess that's life

[@fishnhunt2187]

definitely need more of this ..haha😂

[@lovetownsend]

Good Will Hunting, the hug scene. Only movie I've ever cried to. It's like Berts answer, when it hits you personally

[@erichodge567]

This guy's hilarious, but I can't afford to lose this many brain cells.

[@MrEarwick42]

Bert “this one time/wanna hear a story?” Kreischer

[@besidju3938]

Best episode yet!

[@bigmrmacharward]

Best episode of this show ever!

[@wolferine6466]

My names Bert Khrischshshsher and I’m going to have liver failure soon.

[@MrTamiller07]

Bert "I had 5 beers yesterday morning" Kreischer

[@Akrafes]

2:03 "Magic Japanese word. Right?" HAHAHAHA God dammit Bert I ve cried laughing

[@Jmrox2001]

I love when he makes the sound with the card