Would Bert Kreischer Recognize His Own D*** Pic? - Answer the Internet

‪@bertkreischer‬ makes his long awaited return to Answer the Internet.
Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 9 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Bert Kreischer to the test.
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#AnswerTheInternet #BertKreischer

[@AnswertheInternet]

Subscribe and leave a comment who you want to see on ATI below! barstool.link/ATI

[@jamesmauricio6180]

HEY CRISTINA P

[@pizzle58]

Mark Normand (Kevin Hart)

[@alexcavoli6191]

I dont wash my hands because Ive had my dick directly in girls mouths and they didnt wash their hands before or after so...

[@Thumper68]

If you could get Ben Shapiro I think it would be hilarious🤣

[@neverlistentome]

"Will Smith doesn't wash his hands after he pisses." Really changes the slap....

[@phobototran3247]

"I got a 130 pound beast on the bed, I'm fighting the dog" killed me😂😂😂

[@masterej7998]

Same 🤣😭

[@roydonk2262]

Bert can be all over the place sometimes, but when he is on he is a killer. He absolutely murdered this, top 5 all time ATI.

[@AnswertheInternet]

Thanks for watchin Michael! Who do you want to see on the show next?

[@pizzle58]

@@AnswertheInternet Mark Normand

[@roydonk2262]

@@AnswertheInternet Ryan Sickler, Anthony Jeselnik, Kyle Kinane, Tom Papa.

[@jorn.999]

@@AnswertheInternet JOEY MFN DIAZ

[@zorrakas320]

@@AnswertheInternet definitely mark normand. Dope to see you guys still want feedback.

[@toploc7520]

“What a women” “What a pair of balls” Those dudes were on two different thought processes.

[@skylovermc2146]

Lol

[@jasminepina9058]

I don't get it

[@thirdplanetman9468]

Bert absolutely nailed that Theo impression. Got his mindset as close as you can get it, without being Theo himself. That man's brain is a bucket of incredible. Both of them to be honest.

[@sheffcoleman3518]

I just came across the clip and nearly died when Bert said “Will Smith don’t wash his hands after pissing” and suddenly thought about poor Chris Rock. Lmao. Hilarious content. Love Bert the Machine.

[@jon5one7]

😂 bro got the piss slapped onto and out of him.

[@Coastfog]

Lol

[@knarf_barf]

My favorite part about Bert is that he is actually excited to be there and enjoying every minute of it; whereas some other guests on ATI only have 5 minute videos and they just have an air of “I’m not getting paid enough to do this” and seem rather arrogant. Love pretty much everything about The Machine

[@AnswertheInternet]

He did this directly after a two hour interview. Guy’s the absolute best in the biz!

[@skyluke9476]

Bert always has the longest interviews, because he will spend 6 hours talking to a dude at a bar about styrophome manufacturing

[@mdougf]

Wow, Bert is the best at this segment. Other people can seem forced about it. Bert fucking killed this so naturally. He’s a special dude, love him or hate him

[@AquamanSam]

Tom was great too. they’re unmatched

[@andyfalls6208]

Checked to see if this was the longest episode of ATI, found that Burnt already holds the record.

[@Avalon1204]

His name is Brent dumbass lol

[@TheCurrykiev]

@@Avalon1204 it's Brack. Fucks sake.

[@ElverGarico]

I’m pretty sure it’s Bart

[@coreyprice6801]

Yeah bretts first one was 17 minutes+ dude loves to talk! That’s why we love him.

[@Mike-pn8ln]

I thought it was Bruce

[@KatieDe_G]

Dude Bert is definitely the type of dude who seems like you could sit and have a beer with and never run out of things to talk about. Such a cool guy 😎

[@DoUgIeRuLz]

The English and German accents were hilarious coming out of his face

[@Poisendskull1]

British sounded more Australian lmao

[@DYLANKNAPP94]

RaiderMatt86 It could depend on where in Australia and England they are.

[@whskytngo]

Sounds nothing like Theo Von but sounds exactly like what Theo Von would say.

[@AnswertheInternet]

lmao 100%

[@Dubaroo99]

UH HUNDREDD PERCENT

[@dzd2371]

This a wrasslin van? 🤣

[@ws8061]

"Can you still go to your barber if he's racist" "I feel like this isn't for a white guy" Lmao

[@codyholt9797]

The Theo Von joke really got me 😂

[@thepowerofmyth]

Ngl, bert killed this.

[@toastedjoe1013]

At first, I thought you were telling Nigel, Bert's alter-ego.

[@adamsmith544]

I was at Bert’s first set in Philly for Secret Time. I thought he absolutely killed it. Almost liked it better than the taping since it was raw and the ad libs thrown in.

[@MrNicvdb]

How nice of the ATI crew. They have Tom on last week and now they do him a solid by having his tik toked buddy come on. What great guys!

[@slugemonkey313]

Pound-for-pound Bert is coming into his comedic prime. This video was gold and I’m grateful I exist in the same time period as him. A living legend.

[@marcobellina3696]

That's alot of pounds

[@janpavel1441]

Alright Bert we get it.

[@roguesample]

Lmao at Bert talking about how Theo would be easy to kidnap

[@EdoKwin]

2:51 - The sweet part about this is the implication that his wife is the girl of his dreams

[@justinleonard6183]

I think he’s in love with himself he watches his own standup and podcasts and laughs

[@Arthur-ek7nd]

Bert "I'm not an alcoholic because I exercise despite drinking 6 days/nights a week" Krystal

[@traceyrice4978]

It's pretty wild that I drink 7 days a week, never work out, and am not yet a burnt Chrysler

[@guywithalltheanswers6942]

I'm just trying to delude my self. I work out hard and drink hard but I know it's stupid. Being an alcoholic fucking sucks. Stupid genes.

[@mandolorian162]

@@traceyrice4978 same, lol not bragging by any means but like 6-12 a day depending on work and what not and still only like 115lbs

[@obiwankenobi9439]

@@guywithalltheanswers6942 yeah.. It's those genes alright 😂😂

[@chiefwawawa]

@@obiwankenobi9439 that mickey mantle gene bruhbruh

[@averyeastman5681]

LMAO his Theo Von voice is fucking amazing. "GIMMIE SOME OF thEM HAMSTERS... Why yall got gloves?"

[@dzd2371]

This a wrasslin van? Too funny!

[@MR-jd1yo]

too perfect i herd theo in my mind

[@conservat1vepatr1ot]

“Umber Kryshir”? We’ve all been saying his name wrong.. that or we aren’t hopeless alcoholics that were hammered during this recording..

[@Trevenclaw]

What makes Brent the best is that he parties like a maniac and relishes life, but also loves his wife and kids SO much. If he cheated on his wife he'd be a sad sack but because he doesn't he's rad.

[@robertaBooey69]

I normally don’t do this with people is the greatest line 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@amandamarie740]

Bert is one of the most genuine people, and it’s like it’s bc he can’t be any other way lol love him

[@DYLANKNAPP94]

He seems that way :)

[@nikolasspring]

That Theo van impression was spot on 😂

[@Talie404]

funny when he said "I wish that worked for standup" when it clearly did with his "the machine" bit :D

[@highferaltruth]

"i'm on blood thinners. i take baby aspirin." lmao

[@liamengram6326]

The same as being healthy by drinking a gallon kool-aid a day.

[@jenniferdennis6465]

They are blood thinners

[@highferaltruth]

@@jenniferdennis6465 i know, but he made is sound like a prescription lol

[@jenniferdennis6465]

Gotcha!

[@DGRIFF]

Bert did more than crush this show, he taught you all how to manage the film lol

[@ARKHAMxMaverick]

Confirmed - Bert nails EVERY impression he does.

[@thergal]

Haha yeah his british sounding polish guy was amazing

[@Poisendskull1]

Been waiting for this one. Thanks ATI

[@AnswertheInternet]

Anytime Mr Beaver

[@randomshit2229]

7:20 “well shit gang gang son!” Lmao that Theo von impersonation was hilarious 😂😂

[@ThankYouYoureWelcome]

Warm toilet seat had me cracking up! 😂

[@spicypretzel7616]

Him sayin Wiz Khalifa instead of Mia khalifa was the funniest shit 😂

[@spyderg2138]

Dude is way funnier than I thought he was.

[@SHADOWBEAR82763]

Leaving a restroom years ago, a guy at the sink noticed that I hadn't stopped to wash and said "My daddy taught me to wash after I pee, I guess yours didn't." I smiled and replied "No, he taught me not to piss on my hands.'

[@Phi1618033]

Bart was made for this game.

[@obiwankenobi9439]

Bart Pitt

[@cptdarkon5946]

When Janikowski was with the Seahawks I was at the stadium for warm ups. He came over to the side line in his gear but no helmet, opened his gym bag and grabbed a FAT wad of dip, chunked it in his mouth and went out to practice kicks. The dude is such a beast it was like watching an old WWII moving around on the field. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen

[@rebelcities8200]

Actually one of the better English accents. Love you Burnt x

[@buckkuu]

I love how Bert can just talk lol.

[@stinkyfinger777]

The Theo Von kidnapping thing got me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@zchrymtthw1993]

The Theo Von impression is golden! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@bigboomer3841]

The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one---- Everyone but Burt

[@jedediah7772]

Loved this! Very funny, thanks 😄

[@keenanlarsen1639]

His Will Smith story aged beautifully. "Let me tell you the key to Hollywood...."

[@ricenbeenz...]

Dude I thought he was gonna cry when when he was answering the question about his wife banging his worst enemy

[@cormacjoy6916]

Me too!

[@makaizuniga4352]

“Wiz Khalifa😭”

[@KevinsDisobedience]

I’ve seen a lot of comedians bomb on this show. Bert gets it.

[@meDaleLane]

Gee this Brett guy can talk! This is easily the longest one of these ever! Did he even answer any of the questions?

[@Soren27]

Bert

[@heavypootisspencerguy2266]

GI Jane 2 can’t wait to see it

[@DadsCigaretteRun]

Bert is the master of not answering the question at all 😂😂

[@im-not-me893]

He won’t answer directly or even at all sometimes, but he’ll give you a hell of a funny quip or story. Really just a rollercoaster with him lol

[@maui1526]

Film idea for bert. Comedy film obviously; Bert's gambling debt leads him to rob a bank, at which, Theo von is withdrawing a large sum after winning a bet. (Lobster fighting), he then takes Theo hostage, they end up on a plan, piloted by ari, Bert hijacks the plane, does some sky king shit (shout out Seattle) but then, right before berts about to make his escape, he realizes ari and Theo took the money and jumped DB Cooper style. Where does they're adventure lead? Find out next time I smoke an absurd amount of weed after not sleeping for a couple days

[@jackzwahlen764]

I spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out who my biggest enemy was for that one question, and then I realized my biggest enemy is probably me so double win

[@totallyfakefakename4664]

The best thing ever isn't a warm toilet seat. It's blowing up the restroom for the next twenty minutes.

[@withcharlie6059]

Touch my camera through the fence Brad chrysler!

[@thatmg]

8:24 THATS A LEGIT GREAT JOKE!

[@vedantshinde697]

This segment is made for Bert!

[@wolffyward]

Burnt Chrysler still hates John Mayer 😂

[@asdfjkl74able]

I didnt know Theo Von was by name but the impression was so good I knew 100% who he was talking about

[@unclebeav5886]

Is this a wrastlin' van!?!? 🤣😂

[@brandonm8901]

I love how similar Burnt Chrysler's English and Polish accents are

[@CalTxDude]

The guy who mentions Janikowski...Wow!!! LoL No wonder they had to use closed capturing!!

[@makingmo]

The best part of shitting in public is making the guy that walks in to piss, gag. It’s a walk off home run

[@nicid54]

Dang! So, not only did Chris Rock take a mean slap at the Oscars, he also had to walk around wearing the aftershave of King Richard's Richard?!

[@Lukerogers0121]

Tony Stark: “I don’t trust a guy without a dark side.” Bert: “I can’t be friends with a guy who’s never been fucked by a Dog.”

[@marcherrera23]

“What a pair of balls” 😂😂🤣

[@shannonrenis8063]

Lmfao 😂😂😂 if it takes 9 minutes it's not being done right. That's funny.

[@didisaythat4230]

Damn.. when he said snort coke casually. What he should of said was "hardest thing to do casually? Anything on coke." I can casually snort coke for sure. Just afterwards everything will be a spectacle.

[@Eriey3]

Bruce Kersher my favorite comedian!

[@VentureGroms]

His impersonation of Theo is hilarious

[@devonclose2606]

His face right before he said a thousand dudes hahahah

[@rollierick2232]

"We got a bag of hamsters" lmaooooooo

[@Arcturuseyes]

Bernt Chrysler, Master of Accents.

[@bigbeardedmexn3554]

@ the 12:58 mark is he talking about pat mcafee 🤣🤣🤣

[@zgiW]

"I might get a tighter cut" that was quick holy moly 11:20

[@zgiW]

aaand Brent has ruined it by liking a strangers warm toilet seat

[@friendsofthedead2742]

His description of “awesome NFL kicker” was just a description of a young Pat McAfee 😂

[@matthewmc4363]

The bathroom joke. Somebody warmed this up for me. Boarding school.

[@EarlyBirdArms]

Mia obviously isn’t gonna be known as a sports fan 🤣

[@ScottyFang]

Lmao my dog story; I was 5years old and the family took a day trip up to a fish hatchery out of town. We still have the video of this huge yellow lab just CHARGING me over and going to town while everyone laughs for 10 straight seconds

[@Thumper68]

I’d take the personal bathroom and bring a TV tray from home it’s now a personal office as well!

[@Green_Gold]

I've heard Bert say a thousand disgusting things but hearing that he likes freshly warmed toilet seats from a stranger is maybe the most disgusting thing ever

[@hongkongfueynz3071]

Yeah that’s just nasty......

[@larsonfamilyhouse]

Only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one

[@Globbs]

He says it to throw you off.

[@ruxtonau]

Bort knows all about being a crazy person :P

[@MauiWowieOwie]

10:25 I don't know if I've ever ;laughed more

[@GrantCline]

Bert is the best!

[@crimsonsky97]

Dude is a gem

[@dakotaflora6998]

1 time pass to commit any crime would easily be a high speed chase from the police

[@lawbl5415]

First question, instant Bort lies. Classic.

[@sachadelanghe4337]

Missed chance -> "I can still smell his cologne... or in that particular case colon"

[@sorad5791]

6:45 I loved this question. I honestly think I was In a past life, or am in an alternate reality, an assasign, a ninja, or spy or something. Because I have always loved the idea of breaking into someone's house and looking through it. Not to take anything, just snoop around and then get out, undetected. It is just the thrill of knowing that I definitely have the stealth to do it and could get away with it. I'm crafty. Sounds so interesting. Don't come for me lol And the One Love link he made from sitting on a warm toilet seat someone just got off of in public was so wholesome lmao

[@the_silver_trumpet]

How come at 5:40 he sounds a little bit like Edward richtofen 😅😅

[@shannonrenis8063]

Lmao if I was his wife I'd be like how the hell does she know what your junk feels like

[@JALA578]

Things that didn't age well... That opener hahaha

[@anthonyderr1943]

Bert is the best to ever do this

[@adamsauve]

Brent Chrystler is everywhere right now

[@kelsey635]

I loveeeee that he thinks his wife is the woman of his dreams❤😅

[@radiowoe5517]

Bert is a wild man

[@gnamewname8553]

"I have a bag of hamsters". WTF. Haaaaaaaaaahhaha

[@ygkemosabi8280]

Perfect example of society teaching people that racist means anti black and not that his barber would hate white people... lol

[@brandonm8901]

Yeah I assume that the question means the barber would be racist towards you, not another race