Bert Kreischer | This Past Weekend

[@ZonkzUK]

Does anyone else think Bert looks like he'd make a great cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz?

[@Sploshification]

Dude holy shit the accuracy.

[@jazanthapus2659]

Naaaaaailed it

[@onegvid]

A giant ewok

[@drewduz]

Kaiben Music and Eddie Bravo could play Dorothy's deaf Jack Russell

[@overtflow]

bro LMAO

[@pirategolfer3201]

Theo's throwaway lines are other comedian's A material.

[@GlennJimenez]

Al Pratt yeah Theo’s tiny comments at the end of everything he says are brilliant Sometimes I feel like THOSE are the actual jokes.

[@Cassiekillgannon]

“Where’d you kiss him, lips or small of his back?”

[@jayd2818]

Bout time, Farley was the DUDE

[@Isaiah42069]

Dont let Carlos Menstealia hear that.

[@shustyrackleford_710]

@@Isaiah42069 never heard that nickname for him before lol but its so obvious! Thats awesome

[@hasanwahab5854]

Comedians on podcasts are one of the best things that happened on the internet.

[@JapaneseIrishman]

Shine is such a perfect intro song for this podcast

[@geofflineberry8829]

Who is the artist? I know the song but cant remember!!!

[@amavasya5884]

@@geofflineberry8829 sorry if it's too late but its bishop gunn

[@ryanmfoto]

shit is tiiired

[@JapaneseIrishman]

@@ryanmfoto almost like I wrote this two years ago...

[@xrmighty]

@@ryanmfoto must be corner stoned lol

[@stevenmartinez872]

The world is just a little brighter thanks to Theo von ☀️

[@polymathing1614]

Joey Diaz is my therapist, Theo is my spirit animal

[@councilv1250]

Shine that light on me, gang gang

[@clw5746]

@@councilv1250 cringe

[@mysteryY2K]

@@polymathing1614 tbh, same

[@iliketurtles1253]

I have never laughed as hard as I did when Theo said, “the first time we kissed I think she had blood in her mouth for some reason...cuz her teeth were all banged up. She could have just been in a wreck or something”

[@TheDemigodZilla666]

Bert talking about meeting and fighting for his wife back with such excitement is what we all need

[@CapuchinzRule]

“Drink some Koolaid & play with myself or buy a new harp” Theo kills me everyday with the most random drop ins 😂😂

[@DubbsR]

"Did you have to kiss his lips or the small of his back" - Amazing! Crying

[@PunkassErnie]

Bert looks like an off duty security guard telling Theo the young skater not to do drugs like he did.

[@isaman8278]

"It was the day after New Years Eve." - Bart Kushner 20:51

[@susie7336]

Isaman lmfao

[@drinkju]

isnt that new years day then?

[@r2droo2]

Lol beat me to it

[@yucko9501]

It sure was.

[@customerguy8581]

Burnt Chrysler - the fattest, most racistest comedian on the planet.

[@luisherrera9656]

I want someone to caress me the way Theo caresses his ankles.

[@1970HondaCL100]

Finally, someone to make that Chris Farley portrait look thin.

[@a.k.4o]

The finger is horrific in that painting

[@sneesus98]

AK 4o it's a drumstick i think

[@seanwilks7712]

Are any of,you even old enough to,remember Farley? He was twice as big as Bert. See Bert in person and your opinion would change. Sounds like your just cut and pasting other people’s opinions.

[@tabletalkpodcast845]

Never knew who that was Farley! thought it was a self portrait ha

[@TheUnholyPosole]

...the Bert is fat joke is like 12 months old.

[@TheAmazingMrMcFlyy]

First guest spot Theo ever did YEARS ago was on an early Bertkast way before Rohan finally had him on, and out of all the great Bertkasts, this was one of the most enlightening and pretty much the most open and relaxed and comfortable I’ve ever seen Theo on anyone’s podcast since. Learned so much about how they have such a past with great comedias before anyone even knew Theo as a comic! So glad they finally reunited for TPW!!! Love you guys together, great dudes

[@brentrice3492]

(Discussing diseases they can “beat”) Bert: “What’s one with your eyes?” Theo: “Optimization.” Bert: Laughing “no I think that’s just a word.” Hahahahahahaha

[@gimmedataids]

Theo's a ballpark kind of talker

[@loicjeannin6233]

@@gimmedataids a very large ballpark

[@joeharris7985]

Theo goofy as hell 😂 he said that because opt in optimization also has opt in optometrist 😂😂😂

[@prodbyryshy]

"my dad lives in a convenience store" "a CS they call it" lmaooooooooooooooooooooo

[@bundescoach3528]

dawg I lost it and still haven't found it

[@breakfastattiffanys741]

Can someone explain? Maybe it's an American thing?

[@k1xnt]

@@breakfastattiffanys741 it's pretty surface level, not sure where your from but a convenient store is like a 7-11, Racetrac or Quick Trip. there's not really a joke here, just Theo being full of shit in his super serious joking way. like how ridiculous is it too make an acronym for convenient store

[@dylanstumbaugh356]

@@k1xnt ridiculous.. though very convenient...

[@lionsmanexx]

I thought he said CVS at first, making a play on that. Cause technically CVS could be convenience store too, hahaha, it made me giggle regardless

[@elzk6393]

At 35:50 Theo asked the question "Do you ever think we will get in a race war like that ever again" and he was referring to the Rodney king situation... oh Theo Theo Theo. Only if you new what 2020 was going to bring...

[@moze_-]

How has Theo never had a special titled THEOretically.

[@erickhofmann8765]

This. Must. Happen!

[@Novarealmhopper]

I like you.

[@sarahemikula]

Nice! AND no bashing of women, could be the first one in this section.

[@sarahemikula]

@wyseTV sorry man, my compliments to the witty title for Theo ✌️😏😀

[@lionsmanexx]

Theology

[@tylerstafford4508]

1:05:36 I almost died choking on sunflower seeds. These podcasts make my 12 hour shifts driving so much better 😂

[@MCVenarse]

What a cool episode. Have been watching for a little over a year, but have never been understood Bert so it went under my radar, but this has made me really like the guy. Also it's nice hearing Theo this passionate and fired up

[@weswes4187]

Theo: Your wife's a beautiful lady! Bert: ........ Yeah she's ok...

[@LOVERGEIST777]

Thank you so much for the conversation and laughter... Helps me make it thru the day

[@kali4good]

"Two weeks more in the womb and he wouldve got that question right" theo von is entirely too good!!!!! XD

[@christdolphin69]

That Lena Dunham rant was the most true and based thing that Theo ever said. So incredible

[@ShaneMcBryde]

I like Theo so much, I listen to his commercials.

[@thebrazilianatlantis165]

Some of the funniest things he says are improvs in his commercials. "I used to put my shoes on first and then my socks and people called me an idiot. Maybe I was right, I don't know."

[@tafavor]

That was delightful. I felt like I was sitting with y'all. Two of the best story tellers 🥰

[@alechorwitz3134]

Listen to Theo just Trash Lena Dunham for 2 min straight was unreal 37:58 . Bert was deer in the headlights. GANG GANG ONWARD

[@avarey8411]

One of the things Theo does best is trash talk about people. It backfires on him usually, ala Eddie Bravo & Jack Russell Terrier comment. But Theo's shit talking comes from a real deep place.

[@susie7336]

It was beautiful

[@Strype13]

When did that bitch get so fat, anyway?

[@vinmad6669]

alec horwitz ....... who is Lena Dunham...... who cares....... what she EVER done

[@joej3281]

I was dying when he said he would rather fuck Danny DeVito than lena

[@chrisleyleonlewisiii9644]

Finally another pod cast to watch that's actually good I've burnt through all of Joe's stuff to date

[@lilstrawhat]

Wow how do I get that belt? You have to win it......and you didn’t.

[@diji5071]

@@pakastanibullfighter4948 Jean, that's how they spell it down in Louisiana. 18 Letters in the alphabet.

[@kevinkoger5749]

Brian Smits Music and Theo knows it. That’s why he shuts it down😂😂😂

[@Doorito_]

@@pakastanibullfighter4948 jeen*

[@-AyeYallThereGoLaFlare-]

devildog1982z whoa chill tf out

[@existential-espresso2898]

@devildog1982z @Walter Windsor Can't even tell who the troll is here, so i'll like both.

[@coynerooski]

*"Name 3 diseases you can beat, honestly..."*

[@ChrisBeames]

"Yeah, I could beat Crohn's"

[@landon7swag]

“Optimization...” - Theo Von

[@christopheredwards105]

@@ChrisBeames I've got Ulcerative Colitis not Crohn's but this shit would destroy Bret. It's literally incurable, there's no beating it.

[@joemarkey6]

IBS isnt the same as Crohn's(IBD), can someone get Bert a job with the scientists who've been trying too cure it for the past 40 years with no sign of cracking it, If bullshit were brains he'd crack it in 2 minutes

[@EastwoodFPS]

Man i feel spoiled with these podcasts the last few days. Callen and D'elia, you and Bert! Rogan and Elon musk tonight, shits awesome!!

[@kezallison4771]

That Elon podcast is that old. Wow

[@ctfashow]

Jesus. The D'Elia jokes seem hella creepy now, in hindsight.

[@tadah21]

👍😬👍

[@rogaru]

In hindsight its still a joke

[@ctfashow]

@@rogaru wow. Thank you so much for clarifying. I was completely unaware!

[@Guttrocker]

Ralphie May sleeps in the middle of the cruise ship. lol RIP Ralphie

[@noahomen]

after bert says his wife has a crush on theo theo starts talking really fast and changes the conversation lol

[@mariahrfordays1988]

NOAH OMEN warp speed lol!!

[@julidiamondlover]

Man you ever experienced one of your friend's girl hitting on you? If you're a homie, it's awkward as hell. It's like don't put my friend in this weird thing, don't hurt them! Even though your friend probably doesn't care as much as you. Probably just overthinking normal people shit.

[@donmichaelcorbin4417]

Unfortunately, as men, we all to often have to bust that magic nut before we're able to think clearly enough to know better than to do such things. There's been more times than I care to admit where I'm bumping uglies with some chic and as soon as I bust that magic nut.....BAM! I suddenly come to my senses and I'm like, "What am I doing banging my girlfriend's Mother during a commercial break while watching The Jenny Jones show?"

[@julidiamondlover]

@numba1pimp playaOG absolutely. I mean maybe that should be the sign to leave that girl, but it's not a good place for a "woman" to her man or one of his friends.

[@Absurdword]

Theo has a history of being into other dudes wives. So.

[@badform2862]

I had such a f up day this really turn my day around tho thank you guys

[@guadalupe6564]

you got so nervoud when Bert said his wife had a crush on you lol.

[@Ilostmyairpod]

Rat king and Burnt Chrysler 🤩

[@azl2p]

Why do they call Theo rat king?

[@DeadGrenadier]

cuz hes king of the rats

[@DavidDiaz-zp4hu]

Just people all in their feelings and the most they can do is make a disparaging remark about the shape of his face ..

[@collieowens5751]

chrysler that’s burnt up in the streets of detroit

[@danielleskillern4475]

Its Bruce kersher

[@AlphaMom55]

I love how you called Lena Dunham out, Theo! Not just talking about her looks but literally calling her out for using modern feminaziism to propagate her brand. 👊💙

[@ItsMe-uf1st]

Yeah about time, enough of this pc bullshit!

[@dickieboypnuts1]

yea , that bitch has a body like a baked potato

[@fmekki]

RAT KING AND THE BURNT CHRYSTLER GANG GANG

[@louiegallo1289]

19:34 "I swear to God I spoke to God" is the Bertiest line I've ever heard.

[@seanbean4682]

Almost any other comic would've LOVED getting a pic of them with a horse on a jumbotron.

[@patrickclark3288]

Anyone with a sense of humour would

[@10oner]

No u got it all wrong, the horse was the one that got a picture with the horse

[@alexanderje8336]

21:32 T: "B O W D O I N?" B: "No, B O W D E N" T: "Waaaauuuwww"

[@jonostewart6140]

Bert... get Theo on Something’s Burning!!!!!

[@SkateIandI33]

Jono Stewart him and Joey Diaz would bereally good since he usually has two people on at a time!

[@kuslerf12]

It just happened with theo and red rocket

[@gator4458]

@@kuslerf12 I was unimpressed with it

[@Nonameforyoudangit]

​@gator4458 Theo was the funniest and most competent in that kitchen. Hitter.

[@waxilllium548]

Bert kreischer and Theo von to make a phenomenal standing podcast together.

[@alexsideris7487]

SHINE THAT LIGHT ON ME

[@heywsupitswill]

Hypes me up every time

[@vinmad6669]

alex sideris ........FUCKIN GREAT SONG

[@MrPapa1970]

Who sings that? is that St.Paul & broken bone.

[@Matt-gk4jy]

Marco maestre jr Bishop Gunn babbaaayyyy

[@alexsideris7487]

I just met Theo that shit was so surreal

[@mr1rottenapple]

It's funny that I care but for some reason I even appreciate the way Theo gives a little care to his sponsors. So many not just obviously hate doing it but give no love to the businesses giving them dough. It says the right things that he cares enough to try on the boring parts

[@malibuice650]

Theo- "Optimization!" Also Theo- "What is that?"

[@davidtidwell6688]

that awkward silence and deadpan after bert said "i do that sometimes..." has me dead.

[@21c.fenidecht]

"I'm gonna have some coolaid, then play with myself, then I don't know, maybe get a new harp"

[@sarahmcintyre6150]

“Gout, that’s too much shrimp and not enough elbow movement “ LMAO 🤣

[@PordanBJeterson]

Bert is like a deaf Jack Russell

[@temple06]

More like the fattest, laziest, deafest English bulldog

[@johnnie543]

Or like a blind Saint Bernard. Onward....

[@wesleybynum5461]

johnson543 lol this is a good one I can see it now

[@johnnie543]

@@wesleybynum5461 Instead of finding mountaineers lost in the Swiss Alps he couldn't even get out the front door. Let's hear more....

[@McHonkenberg]

Theo said the same thing about Eddie Bravo

[@sydann8180]

I love that face Bert makes when he laughs and his voice gets all high that shits funny

[@ayou4525]

Bert looks like he just came back from a swingers party lol

[@Justin-lg1qb]

21:34 Rat king is amazed by a southern Georgia town name. So beautiful

[@LM20237]

Once again, a story about Whitney Cummings proving why so many people can’t stand watching / listening to her on podcasts.

[@LM20237]

+X X I didn’t say she wasn’t funny. I said she’s insufferable.

[@XX-lx4mr]

L. MAC. Ha, touche

[@tsnorquist]

Look at them (o Y o) all day tho young blood

[@caseyjones8246]

Both Theo and Bert turn into little SJW soy boys when they do a podcast with her.

[@Mmmleftovers]

@@caseyjones8246 because she's influential and has power.

[@honestinsincerity2270]

I feel like whatever town Theo grew up in was like the nexus point for all traveling circuses. Every episode he reveals a little more about life there and each weird snippet is more fantastic than the last. Even if it is all made up and he grew up in a neighborhood like Wally Beaver, I'd actually be more impressed for someone just thinking up those goddamn characters.

[@MDSMAZa]

Bert is probably the most lovable comedian alive..that story about getting his wife back really made me want to find that sort of passion for a woman, had to be pretty serious if God started talking it over with him.

[@baxpiz1289]

Michael Smazal show business

[@MrHolyTiits]

LMFAO Berts face when Theo says his mom is polish and dad is Nicaraguan hahahaha

[@elevenilltime4801]

I and Theodore used to catch frogs down at the local ditch. I also ate a Monarch butterfly once at the graveyard by our house.

[@jarvoh6256]

Theo and D'elia are untouchable at the moment, so funny!!!! GET IN THERE!

[@karstenvonfjellheim5321]

When Bert's shirt comes off: IT IS ON!!!!! You feel like a fool if you take your shirt off!

[@MexicanJesus1998]

Nick said “30 years old but never been 9 months” 😂 thats fucken awesome

[@aleksandarmarkovic1013]

Man this has been the funniest podcast, I have laughed trough out. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

[@M6A6T6T]

You’ve lived you’ve loved you’ve laughed

[@Theflowergeekcrafts]

these guys talking about first kisses... lmao! these two crack me up.

[@amberpinkerton1279]

"Al Rowker lost weight and I didnt like it ☹☹☹☹" dude how he said that 😂😂 hahaha he said that so sad and how he looked down and looked so sad; like a sad little puppy. Haha it was great dude. Theo Von has this amazing adorable (unresistable 😘😘) hilarious odd innocence and sweetness about him man. He really does. I freakin love it. Very funny dude. I hope to see him do so much more. Hopefully another bert podcast! So great! Tom segura and bert together with Theo or Segura and theo alone would be great too!

[@AKAB_22]

“Is that gay or just fucked up?!” Had me fucking dying

[@TheCrederer]

"were all the women you slept with over 18"? "Ya" "Wwwoooooooow"

[@scottb2858]

Theo is from Louisiana, what u expect

[@MrCotty777]

literally one of the best books ever right there on your table

[@pwn3d542]

Oh my lord “What made you want to be in your wife”

[@jumpbrick]

One of the best interviews of Bert Kreischer - but it felt a lil short. Love you guys

[@Kryptospotted]

Bixby Coffee ad at 43:28, read as grown-up Walt Jr. Close your eyes. It's him.

[@youknow12341000]

Wow... underrated comment

[@danielleendswell9250]

Awwwww I love Bert!!! So funny and sweet and real!!! I like these sit downs!!!

[@JK-tg4rw]

Definitely one of the BEST PODCASTS I've watched of Theo's. Most RELAXED I've ever saw Theo with a GUEST!! Great CHEMISTRY + DIALOGUE between these two!! 😉

[@robertgordon9668]

The grandma " I know ain't they cool " line cracked me up that was great !

[@clobberbusters]

This fool just said he grew up in the gout belt

[@jrsmith3344]

He just said on Rogan's podcast, that he grew up in the rabies belt. Talkin about fighting raccoons, Hahaha

[@thewomaninr3d434]

Louisiana boy right here and I still use cool whip containers for Tupperware! Gang gang!

[@diji5071]

Theo grew up in the everything belt.

[@benjochambo]

Bert’s cranium looks like a defect tennis ball they give to the local kids

[@TheAmazingMrMcFlyy]

Just realized Theo said aloud what I’ve been feeling about this Lena Dunham chick since I found out who she was... im so glad he said that so loudly and concisely. Amen Theo

[@boymeetsfish3589]

*the psychic that set Bert and his wife up just cracking up outside that church*

[@thazzle7509]

Theo, untuck those ears my brother, they need to breathe.

[@jxmmyontwitch]

I’ve heard about a thousand skillshare ad reads but theo’s takes the cake as the best one I’ve heard yet

[@McHonkenberg]

Does anybody else think this started in the middle of a conversation?

[@Coolyourjetscris]

“What’s his middle name...if you had to guess his middle name” 😭

[@noahkim8773]

Did Theo really quit drugs, he just said "wow" when bert kreisher spelled B-o-w-d-e-n.

[@kbennett4384]

I noticed that too, odd!

[@caseyhodgin7287]

That's just a common response he gives, similar to saying ,"yeah" or "okay" ... I think Theo is low-key very socially awkward, especially when he interrupts to make a point but then can't finish it.

[@chasedonovan8937]

“Stop drinking, manage what I eat, smoke pot everyday.. I think I can manage chrones. That’s how I manage my IBS! 😂

[@420CrH]

I don't think that Theo likes Lena Dunham very much. Lol

[@johnnie543]

But he does want to sleep with a woman because she has a vagina. A man with priorities, this Theo Von! Onward....

[@Mmmleftovers]

Because he's intimidated by her beauty .....

[@Keanuism]

Who does?

[@ericsanchez2917]

@@Mmmleftovers 😂😂😂she's the girl u fuck when ur super drunk and wake up like what the fuck

[@WanderingFlameEntertainment]

Your podcast is the only one I don’t fast forward the ads on because they are fucking hilarious too

[@bobleeswagger6138]

Podcast starts at 3:50 you’re welcome

[@trucomment]

dude theo chuckle while asking questions is GOLD lmao.

[@ButtermilkChicken617]

Does anybody actually think Tony Hinchcliff is funny? That little dweeb has never said anything that has made me even giggle so I was just curious if ppl actually found him funny. Not to mention he just has one of those faces that you wanna punch for no reason..

[@ythandle16]

I never liked him just watching him on podcasts; his voice kind of grates me. I saw him open for Joe Rogan and he was actually pretty funny live so go figure.

[@samueladams5243]

Tony is sub human

[@dave-hc2vi]

His voice is kinda annoying, but he can be funny sometimes. I like Kill Tony too, but a lot of times the funny lines on the show are from people other than Hinchcliff so not sure that counts

[@SuperHoneyOil]

Yeah hes good at writing mean stuff for roasts and his podcast. But remove him from that vibe and he sticks out in a bad way.

[@KarenTookTheKids364]

I don't get it tbh. He's the one person who Rogan promotes and I've never understood why. Unfunny, and arrogant.

[@vinmad6669]

THEO...... WOW ONE OF THE BEST PODCASTER...... THIS WAS GREAT

[@theweldfathertutorials4860]

“My fathers from Nicaragua” Bert’s reaction killed me 1:17:13

[@rydaddythanos8968]

24:57 Theo is getting some ideas

[@David-ys4xb]

20:34 "That's the other problem, I don't have a problem quitting drinking... like, I'll just have a problem starting up again."

[@HmDd-vk6gn]

Owen is the dark arts, leave that boi in his basement son! Onward

[@usakrana8871]

Literally watched every episode of Reality Bites and had no idea who any of the comedians on the show was at the time, Had no idea who anyone on the cast was at the time its amazing how much changed in ten years.

[@ashrafsahdan5606]

Theo: "Are all the women you've ever had sex with over the age of 18?" Bert: "Yeah" "Wowww...", I lost it when Theo said that like it's a truly remarkable and rare thing. lol. H is punchline always coming out from weird angle when people least expected (and sometimes probably didn't even realized it). The power of them dark arts.

[@kcassi1]

Bro, saying Tony looks like he’s holding the devil in his mouth and he doesn’t wanna show it to you is the weirdest yet most accurate thing I’ve ever heard.

[@NoBeunoPendejo]

That sums up basically everything Theo ever says..."the weirdest most accurate thing I've ever heard" 😜

[@mikeyRD08]

@Theo Von HOT ONES DUDE. It would totally hit a new target audience. I'd love love love to see it.