Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Council Convenes (Humans Are Space Orcs)

The courage and bravery of a veteran...
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Original Post: / the_council_convenes
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@NetNarrator]

Will be streaming on Twitch in a few minutes! www.twitch.tv/spartawolf

[@thecatpilot4002]

Think I'm a bit late

[@crayonchomper1180]

Galaxy, after meeting the humans: *chillin'* Extra-galactic Communication: "Surrender" Humans: *"LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY NEEDS THEIR ASS KICKED"*

[@infinitetroll03]

Humans cracking their neck. Got some new toys and some backyard goons. Time to show em what genocide feels like.

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

"always peacefully made new tech" Ya they where 1000% also using that tech to develop weapons and hiding that shit so well no one noticed and them disappearing is just them taking those blueprints and mass manufacturing some scary scary shit so that humanity can hit the problem so hard it creates a fucking sun

[@mutehowl]

@@infinitetroll03 xenocide.

[@____________838]

@@mutehowl xenocide*

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

@@infinitetroll03 The other two are right it's not exactly the same as Genocide. As Genocide is the systematic killing of your own species while Xenocide is the systematic killing of an alian one. Both equally extream but both are slightly different.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

The ship Sounds like a 40k warp exit😂 "Okay, captain, we vented atmosphere on 3 decks, a section is tainted now, and we lost 300 men to the warp and another 500 to insanity..." "ahh.. Another successful warp travel boys, the emperor protects"

[@robertstan9733]

"Proper good helmsmanship, Captain, I've only grown two extra tentacles this trip!!"

[@NovoCognition]

I was thinking more along the lines of a _Battlestar Galactica_ jump-drive, but with a much longer range.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

@@NovoCognition last jump vibes, "yup, that one broke her spine"

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

To he fair a scout ship in Warhammer 40k is the size of 6 aircraft carriers. A battle ship in 40k has a crew of new York on it when it's 50 percent manned.

[@tehs3raph1m]

@@lordpfeiffer8490 flying cathedrals. And that's just the small ones

[@BeeKisses]

Galaxy as a whole: Outside aggressor: Surrender. Humans: DID SOMEONE SAY WAR?

[@DeadWayfes]

All i hear is warcrimes and exterminatus!

[@schiefer1103]

Hans! Get ze Flammenwerfer!

[@fergusabrams1012]

Chemical weapons anyone?

[@BeeKisses]

@@fergusabrams1012 calm down Nurgle

[@fergusabrams1012]

@@BeeKisses that's biological weapons.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Oh these Terrans, *Terran ship crashes in backyard* "yo, you guys got a tow service and a map where we are?"

[@marxel4444]

HUBBY! CAN YOU FINALY ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!? URGH FINE MARTHA!

[@wolfoffenris9951]

@@marxel4444 😂😂😂

[@JosephKano]

​@@marxel4444 I should have listened to mother, she said you'd never amount to nothing!

[@Chokah]

So we're that one crazy friend who'll gladly share everything with you, and will secretly BURN THE CITY TO THE GROUND IF SOMEONE THREATENS HIS FRIENDS!!!.

[@manuelsilva1999]

A tribute to what can we screw with next!

[@Thebobkiller1]

Um... usually NOT so secretly. Usually with a shit eating grin.

[@street1111]

Yeap...sounds right

[@10Tabris01]

Secretly?

[@Chokah]

@@10Tabris01 Well we don't usually announce such things.

[@bogustoast22none25]

Alien: wait for the humans! Invaders: DIE! *meanwhile in human space* Admiral: Can you explain this to me, one more time? Space Jenkins: So I was shitbagging and playing with the paint app on my computer, and I had to erase something, so I used the big circle in white, so it erased everything I clicked on, so then I realized, “What if we use that insta warp engine, strap it to a planet, and warp the whole planet to where the enemy fleet/homeworld is to just delete it from existence?”... sir. Admiral: Do it.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

The berth of the death star lol

[@DragonBornClan4]

Only humanity can imagine and create weapons like this one so casually

[@colinsmith1495]

And THIS is why any FTL ship IS a weapon of mass destruction. Just fly by and let a loose soda can drop and you've got a continent or more gone. Or in this case, if you can wormhole something INTO the other planet.... what's the force of the entire mass of two planets fusing at the atomic level all at once?

[@Nempo13]

@@colinsmith1495 "Boom" Is technical enough of an answer.

[@colinsmith1495]

@@Nempo13 Yes, yes. That's a close enough estimate for our purposes. Very good.

[@merelyunusual1288]

Unknown: "SURRENDER" Humanity: "and I took that personally!"

[@marclytle644]

Weird transmission: Surrender. Humans: We accept.

[@brianmeans5965]

You misspelled "yes you should"

[@aronnemcsik]

Humans: NUTS!

[@Ellanion]

@@brianmeans5965 The implied continuation is "We accept YOUR surrender", darling :) You're both saying the same thing.

[@SSGTWinters]

@@aronnemcsik aliens: *confused* what about root vegetables?

[@ryaniversen8653]

@@aronnemcsik *Screaming Eagles intensifies*

[@D3vious113]

Aliens: oh no don't touch that we have no idea what it is. Terrans: STRANGE MATTER GO BRRRRRT YEEHAW!

[@olivergreenwald8790]

Hi all, author here! Thank you so much to @NetNarrator for doing this! What an amazing reading! So glad that so many of you enjoy it and just tickled at the positive comments and responses.

[@oddbirdMusic]

Is there any more, or is this a oneshot?

[@szymonbollin5074]

Is there more?

[@olivergreenwald8790]

7 parts currently!

[@szymonbollin5074]

@@olivergreenwald8790 nice

[@wyrmhand]

Any thoughts on continue this fantastic series? Have just read the 7 parts that You had nearly two years ago.

[@GenStallion]

War, our greatest sport. I hope there is a part 2 soon.

[@tonyjohn477]

Just looked at the OP seems this was a one off. Shame really as i really got into this story.

[@aronnemcsik]

there's part 2 on reddit

[@tehs3raph1m]

@@aronnemcsik it's up to part 7...

[@aronnemcsik]

@@tehs3raph1m that is absoultely fantastic

[@tonyjohn477]

@@aronnemcsik Oh i did not see it but thats good news thanks:)

[@taitano12]

Humans return to the galactic stage after another few centuries. "Hey, guys! We've got some new toys to share!" "Where have you been? The enemy could be here at any moment!" "Huh? Ah, no. See, we went out and - after two-hundred and eighty years - we found them about three million light years from here; about two centuries travel time. They were about halfway here when we found eachother... Took a few decades, but three of their galaxies are liberated. That includes their home galaxy. The fourth of their galaxies had to be scoured... Half of it's uninhabitable now... We burned everything." "You what??" "They had encountered some sort of mutagenic stuff and we had to go all 'Halo' on that galaxy. The last 800 years were a lot of fun... We would have included you guys, but the Consul we sent was only a third of the way back when the last sector was liberated... Bunch of pushovers, really."

[@mr.e6289]

once the fighting starts the humans appear with the UFS ' cornholer, UFS ' get'off'my lawn, and the planet destroyer class ship 'doomguy'

[@aronnemcsik]

they going to blast "the only thing they fear is you!"

[@ComedicLetter]

“What are they gonna do, shoot a hole in the surface of the planet?”

[@mazeriayong8311]

@@ComedicLetter "No. I will shoot a hole THROUGH the planet."

[@robertschumacher2707]

@@mazeriayong8311 -in order to obliterate the enemy scoutship that thought it was safe in the other side. "Did we get him?" "The shot missed, but the rock shrapnel took it out."

[@kittlemax836]

@@mazeriayong8311 To hell with it, just fire the planet it'sself

[@RoninIV_unleashed]

Is this going to be an ongoing story? If so, I'm looking forward to the next installment!

[@R_Rottluff]

I hope so

[@willparry530]

if not, the rest of the series is on Reddit, haven't read it yet myself so I can't tell you if it's finished.

[@mutehowl]

What David said. I always feel bad when a story ends of a cliff hanger.

[@bobbyadamson3154]

Agreed

[@Coolbond2]

Unfortunatly the story seems to be unfinished for now as it has not gotten a update in 4 months ending at chapter 7.

[@colinsmith1495]

I have to imagine all the human scientists got a little giddy when they heard the news. "You know what this means, right? All those experiments we wanted to do but someone said 'what if you blow up the solar system?' Those are ALL on the table now!"

[@Praetor_Jeep3r]

I would wait to listen to Net Narrate the rest of this series, but I've already started reading it on reddit and I'm hooked like a crack addict

[@generalzeta7000]

Thanks for letting used know there more to come with out spoilers.

[@Praetor_Jeep3r]

@@generalzeta7000 After reading through the 7.5 chapters currently on reddit I still might listen to Net narrate.

[@taetannim3581]

"Broadband! Like goddamn savages." That line killed me!

[@kurtismiller9544]

Definitely want more of this story

[@Sharkakaka]

Strange transmission: *SURRENDER!* Humans: No u!

[@aronnemcsik]

Humans: apologies we do not enough rations for an entire spieces of POW.

[@NcrXnbi]

reverse uno card

[@DepressedCrow]

Unknown: "Surrender." Humanity: "Nuts!"

[@nk_3332]

Technically it was "We can't accept your surrender", then when it was us who were to surrender "Nuts."

[@DepressedCrow]

@@nk_3332 🤓

[@yourlocalfestivefurry354]

The radio seems to be comparable to alien suddenly destroying saturn replacing it then trying to communicate with us by sending us a VHS tape

[@davidblakley6806]

some cycles later at the start of the conflict the dread silence is shattered by the cacophony of human "classic" rock blaring from radio transmissions from every terran ship in the armada who blinks into the battlefield.

[@scotteggert9820]

You do know only two songs would be playing from the Human battle Fleet. the first one would be The Winged Hussars by Saboton. The Second one would be Dreadnuaght also by Sabatodon. Human 1st Fleet: "And the Winged Hussars's arrived. Coming down the mountainside." Human 2nd Fleet; 30 minutes later: "And the Dreadnuaght's Dread NOTHING AT ALL!"

[@senormooples2354]

Was that a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy reference HAHAHA

[@____________838]

You heard it too?

[@mitchcampbell4197]

In this scenario humanity can be described as "FUCKING SEND IT!"

[@snidecommenter7117]

"Come get an unspecified amount you male son of a canid."

[@Iluvantir]

Humans find nice new aliens to befriend: "Engage Pack-Bond Mode." Humans hear their new friends have been threatened: *Happy Waaaahhh! noises* - "Looks like whoop-ass is back on the menus, boys!"

[@Shythalia]

I will not take this slander against radio! lol

[@paulhuston9991]

I REALLY hope this is a series! This is great!

[@bryceaustin4995]

I want more, love this.

[@agoddamnferret]

this goddamn series, I read through it all, OP stopped posting 2 years ago. I need more but they've been on radio silence

[@thatprofessorguy8316]

Of course the admiral is excited for a first contact scenario. His empire will get 50 influence from it.

[@LordEverlost]

Good stuff!

[@colindendy7002]

I really realy hope there are moreof this one.

[@andrewstrongman305]

Damn, I want to hear more of this story!

[@scotteggert9820]

You do know only two songs would be playing from the Human battle Fleet. the first one would be The Winged Hussars by Saboton. The Second one would be Dreadnuaght also by Saboton. Human 1st Fleet: "And the Winged Hussars's arrived. Coming down the mountainside." Human 2nd Fleet; 30 minutes later: "And the Dreadnuaght's Dread NOTHING AT ALL!"

[@BBCTopgearfan]

For the algorithm! Sorry would have watched this sooner but I was watching and reading the comments on the prologue of "The Blades Own Truth" or as Zack and I have taken to calling it BOT

[@drewgilbertson]

Well, there goes the space neighborhood

[@floofingfloofer13]

Do more of these please

[@bluedragon5676]

Hmm kinda left it open so is there more to come or is this just a short ?.

[@mannydavis7708]

They settled on our worlds, we on theirs and one day we all just up & left & no one knows what happened.

[@eliandervalderen5849]

It has at least 3 parts I belive

[@EnraEnerato]

Meanwhile in human space, it is here and now on the anniversary of the receiving of the intergalactic threat, that I stand and proudly proclaim our pre war efforts are on an all time high. Never in the history of mankind have we been as productive and focused as we are now, never as professional and never as prepared. And we keep preparing, for we know not of where and when the enemy will strike, so I say, we should make the most of the time left till then! Terran government at the press conference in regards to the anniversary of the intergalactic demand to surrender

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Narrator Bless the Author

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Aliens: Surrender! Humanity: we We are We are coming We are coming BACK!!

[@snidecommenter7117]

Aliens: Surrender! Humans: Nuts.

[@NatsuDragn33I]

Woah, this sounds like it took a badass turn. Is there more?

[@WallNutBreaker524]

11:18 Humanity Prepares, Humanity Defends.

[@judebazan7621]

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@Bonesaw4444]

That sounds like there will be a second part?

[@Whisper555]

This was part 1 of what ended up being a 7.5 chapter long incomplete work. Apologies for being the bearer of bad news. Posting this message here as much for myself as for other people to remind me where this ended up going.

[@3PercentNeanderhal]

Improbability drive? Well naturally the answer to that is....42

[@nickschaefer9320]

Humans said "We be right back"

[@mutehowl]

Surrender! For we come in pieces. Some unassembly required.

[@Ghost_Ark66]

Extra-galactic alien: surrender Humanity: oh Boy here I go killing again :D

[@ironwolfF1]

Great story, shame the author has not unleashed his Muse since the seventh installment of this wonderous tale.

[@thejak]

Man the good stories and the way too soon, chapter 2 please😢

[@kerwinbrown4180]

Always scout the enemy!

[@krimsonsun10]

Xeno: Surrender! Humans: All of life is forged from hell, Yet from its beauty... our legacy began. Our ancestors struggled with this paradox, But today we take solace in our past. We embrace this fire, it is... who we are. A fiery clash of fates awaits us all. Our destiny must spawn havoc in the name of preserving the future of life. It shall come to pass that the fire in the depth of our souls returns those who would defy us to the hell from whence they came, For there can be no other destiny, but our own!

[@willgallatin2802]

Basic human philosophy; win, lose, or draw, you will need a doctor real soon.

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@imnotalfred]

Hello

[@calvingreene90]

From, DARPA Researcher, Maximilian Mad To, Admiral Jack Prudent, Federation Navy Subject, Would you greatly mind returning my notes, test equipment, and prototypes of my anti-strangmatter manipulation project. The stellar core mining research which was my initial grant proposal is fun and all but given current events the lack of weapon potential takes off some of the shine. And I have grown more cautious since misplacing Triton.

[@waynecampeau4566]

Hmm.. Some fool species is going to attack an alliance that build Dyson spheres? Sounds like suicide to me, anyone with that level of technology doesn't even have to "fight". If they do, large portions of the galaxy could be destroyed or worse. 😯 "Here, let me just teleport this small black hole into your home sun, your move?"