Best HFY Sci-Fi Stories: The Nanny

[@robertmiller2831]

Just reminds me that in Ancient Greece Spartan Nannies were highly sought after. Never mess with a mother that is protecting children. You will regret it for the short time you are still alive.

[@najroe]

try taking a kitten from a cat that you are not fully accepted by, just remember to phobe the ambulance first, mother cats have chased bears and alligators away from their kittens... you are just a minor nuisance.

[@thomasrobson6370]

Always defend and protect the little ones regardless if they are yours or not

[@Maeshalanadae]

Children are as precious to us as they are to you, yes.

[@McKavian]

Whether they are your species or not.

[@Boopboob]

Hell yeah.

[@Primearch-GG]

Memorandum on human fighting skills: for humans, even the floor is a weapon.

[@zambekiller]

Alien 1 - Are you crazy?! You want to fight a human on one of their nursery worlds?! Alien 2 - What's the problem their not that tuff? Alien 1 - That's not the problem the problem is they are never unarmed! Alien 2 - Oh that's just a myth they have no natural weapons Alien 1 - No they don't but they are experts in what they call improvised weapons! Alien 2 - You're just over exaggerating Alien 1 - I was there when a human ripping their own arm off and proceeded to beat that Drelgintor ambassador to death with it!

[@Primearch-GG]

@@zambekiller very realistic conversation. Needs a bit of proofreading though.

[@Bob_H]

Floor, wall, gravity, or whatever feels good

[@Primearch-GG]

@@Bob_H well, feel good for the human. For the one on the receiving end, not so much...

[@jeremydaniels3904]

There are two types of weapons. One you hit the enemy with, and one that you hit with the enemy.

[@Edmar_Thorn]

I love the stories of "don't fuck with the children" :3

[@zarendahl]

Especially if the nanny is a Latina. Hell hath no fury like a vengeful Latina.

[@robertschumacher2707]

Never. EVER! Mess with Momma Bear.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Alien guide to don't fuck up (human edition) Dont fuck with: - there younglings - there pets - there boats

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Alien guide to don't fuck up (human edition) Dont fuck with: - there younglings - there pets - there boats

[@dirdydan]

Fight or flight and she ain't a bird

[@richardowen6402]

The game of Hide and Seek has a new meaning to me now........I may be wrong but I've seen it in movies when the barbarians/monster/ Murderer turns up so often in media it's become a trope.

[@Heidao623]

One of the greatest rules of humanity, don't hurt kids

[@jnachtig2]

Despite Glar's insistence, the Empress insisted on watching the video. 3 days later an disk was delivered, without pomp or comment, to each of the Nobel Houses. The encryption was such that only the head of the house could open it. It contained 2 files and a message. The first file was the video from the nursery The second file was a proclamation by the empress that a special cadre of humans with police and military backgrounds was being formed to exclusively investigate and eliminate threats to the royal children. The message simply stated "Ezekiel 25:17"

[@warlockghovat5745]

Hopefully edited to hide the location of the safe room.

[@Tejyasn]

​@warlockghovat5745 a new saferoom was swiftly built, only openable by the blood-peint of humans underrated Royal employ...

[@Saeryfim]

"Olly olly oxen free!" was originally "Calling all the outs in free". *The more you knooooow!* (Also, they should've let the royalty know about it. They'd be ecstatic that they don't need to pay as many guards to be on duty around the kids! XD)

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Oh, they do need as many guards around the kids, they just happen to have a nanny that doubles as a very dangerous bodyguard for children.

[@truekurayami]

debatable. Sure they will be happy she could substitute numerous guards in a pinch, but there is the reverse side what if Garcia turned against their Majesties it would take more force to stop her, and the Empress was shown to be enough of a "mama bear" that she wouldn't want to risk her kids being caught up as collateral just as much as Garcia.

[@anathardayaldar]

The queen was prejudiced and jealous. This was just the excuse she needed to fire the nanny.

[@robisclimbing5359]

Nanny: "Krav Maga!!!" Assassin: "Who is that?"

[@krevor4095]

+++Six Months Later+++ The Empress finds the records. Alexis is adopted into the royal family.

[@anathardayaldar]

The empress is prejudiced and jealous. This is just the execuse she'll need to fire the nanny.

[@hraharahra]

Honor guard of fully trained and equipped human warriors to follow and protect the royal children everywhere is formed. Few weeks after another assasination attempt, a noble High house, spontaneously combust, turning the unfortunate clan in fried chickens. No more attempts against the protected by the honor guard was ever made.

[@johnnyrotten3175]

​@@anathardayaldarunder normal circumstances I would agree, but she protected The empress's brood. That gives them a bond transcending what they didn't have before. Plus, she would probably understand now the rule about 'always keep a human on your side !' The video from the nursery showed graphically what happens if you don't 😅

[@mattbrown5511]

Rule one; never even think about harming a child, any child, unless you wish all of Hell upon yourself.

[@dtavs_exe]

Hollow bones? Yeah they had no chance against human nanny.

[@HumourlessPig]

I choose to believe that this nanny is played by Fran Drescher.

[@Zaluskowsky]

a fricken gree

[@WILIZIN]

Fran kicking alien ass with that Brooklyn twang.

[@Shyster099]

And that was grandma. Hire some human guards. Love this story!

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

when a human woman takes children under her wing, whether they be hers or another's, woe betide the poor sucker who declares intent to harm them.

[@nicholassmile5800]

She said "Denzel Washington, "king Kong ain't got", and then left the room.

[@billcook7285]

Adrenaline is a hell'a crazy drug. 😂

[@sanadamakie]

Whoaa, can't remember the name of the story, but wasn't there a similar one where a human nanny killed some people that had boarded the space ship was working on? That nanny also used Oxen Free to get the kids out of hiding. Same person?

[@randomstranger9674]

Yes, I think this story was a thinly veiled copy of that original one.

[@X9Killbot]

If anyone remembers the name let me know cause I love those kind of stories.

[@rydergolde3169]

​@@randomstranger9674 I wouldn't call this one a copy nobody owns "Olly Olly Oxenfree", and the hide and seek might've been a reference, if that not to mention I've seen *another* story about a nanny, where the nanny was hired on a planet and fought off several raiders; just like this story, that one has the nanny putting the kids in a shelter before ripping and tearing *at most* I can see this story having subconsciously been inspired by any number of similar stories, but calling it a copy is just dishonest

[@sanadamakie]

@@X9Killbot I wish I knew.

[@randomstranger9674]

@@rydergolde3169 There's nothing dishonest about saying that this story uses a plot almost identical to an older story by a different author and including some very similar key phrases.

[@Just_Tired]

After hearing this, the first thing that comes to mind is Roberta from Black Lagoon.

[@kennethmana3103]

Bloodhound of Florencia

[@Darkinu2]

I just watched CJ Dachamp video on her. There wouldn't be anything left of the Noble Houses that hired the Assassins much less the Assassins themselves.

[@jdtheone]

You want to see a human in full battle rage threaten the children any children and you will regret it for the extremely short time you live

[@jasonwarren9279]

I wish I could up vote this more than once.

[@theblueslimeboi]

Thwy don't have to be my kids to be MY kids.

[@LockandLoad79]

Hah. I bet her real name is not Garcia. It's Roberta "The Terminator"/"The Bloodhound"/Rosarita Cisneros; She took her previous masters name as a new alias. Can't be Fabiola, because Fabiola does not fight like a mad dog.

[@mrd1433]

Ah, A fellow person of culture.

[@Darkinu2]

I see what you did there. Those assassins got off easy.

[@TacoBlend]

Besides messing with Mama Bears, the worse thing you can do is mess with someone's paycheck.

[@Leapyean]

That Human bonding instinct is strong. Do not get between a human and their children, even if they are not their own!

[@Tejyasn]

NEVER get between a Human and a child of *any* species they have chosen to protect.

[@SenneWMichiels]

Heh, the xenophile hypernet sites.

[@samsignorelli]

Galactic Rule 34

[@nesapanjalingam704]

Thank you 😊

[@DanPeacock]

Don't. Mess. With. Mamma Bear.

[@luisortiz9017]

Not going to lie I literally thought Mary Poppins going to be in this one😅😂

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Story 8ve been meaning to write called Our children mean the world to us. A new colony gets glassed, 1000 adults and 12 children are killed. Humanity responds by cracking 12 of the attackers planets and bombing the rest back to the stone age. At the galactic council. We have said time and again our children mean the world to us, we never said it was our world and now our children mean Your world to you.

[@dire9084]

Mamais mad. She go BBBUUURRRRR!

[@leechowning2712]

Lets just all agree that A: we all need human nannies and B: we stop playing assasinate the hiers. Because the only thing worse than her success is what she would do if someone had managed to hurt one of those little ones.

[@anathardayaldar]

She already slaughtered them all. What worse can she do?

[@leechowning2712]

@@anathardayaldar They were hired by someone. That someone could have a very bad accident.

[@foogee5403]

When "Their only fear is you" kicks in, I guess. Great story, thanks for narrating it! :) Edit: Also reminds me of the story "Babysitter" kzbin.info/www/bejne/nXbVpZ-ioZaohs0 Edit 2: Or "Cute and Cudly" kzbin.info/www/bejne/kKrCd4KioJyGerc

[@Darkinu2]

Or "The Carer". But I see men and women of culture here.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@medical-cyanide1526]

Good story. However even with the excerpt it still makes minimal sense. I would’ve preferred If say she was trying to hold off time because it looked like the invaders knew about the safe room and had say codes or tools to get in… or even something as simple as she was trying to throw them off of the trail/stall for guard forces and things turned violent.

[@carlfranz6805]

Well, sonebody has seen "The Sound of Music".

[@Terran.Marine.2]

I should rewatch.

[@benjamincabreraaparicio8684]

Protect the little uns

[@mattsteele7681]

Que the doom music

[@YouKnowWhatNow]

"can she sing" - bad/awesome 80s flick - the joke. i forget the name

[@PeoplecallmeLucifer]

14:18 What kind of pause?! I never thought the word "pregnant" can be used instead of "long" or "prolonged"

[@oftcrash]

It’s a pause with an expectation of something about to happen.

[@alfreddelcrow9941]

Children can be annoying BUT! it's still our duty to protect and if needed die to keep them safe.

[@s0cc451]

HAHA, I CLAIMED THIS COMMENT SECTION FOR THE MACHINE GOD!!!

[@PeoplecallmeLucifer]

Don't make me get the wrench!!!

[@RealBelisariusCawl]

Praise the Omnissiah

[@foogee5403]

k

[@X9Killbot]

@@PeoplecallmeLucifer That's what he wants you to do! Get the rust spray!!!

[@zambekiller]

All these damn tech-preists stealin our tech why don't ya go and explore a tomb-world

[@splitirisbear4589]

Amen sister

[@335chr]

Man Mary Poppins got hardcore when she when to outer space

[@mattstrandquist2148]

We defend children. No exceptions.

[@anathardayaldar]

Alexis: "Doe, a deer, a female deer..." Xeno: What's a deer? Alexis: Oh. A prey animal we used to hunt and eat. Xeno: OMG

[@Engie50Limerick]

[@MigdalShen]

Heavens forfend. 🤣Not merely a Human, but a deeply religious Human!!!

[@Maeshalanadae]

Wasn’t quite the quote from the passage, but close enough I suppose.

[@Chokah]

Quirk of translation software?

[@Maeshalanadae]

@@ChokahMaybe so. But perhaps Matthew 10 would have been a better quote. “Take heed ye despise not one of these little ones, for I say unto you, that in Heaven the angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in Heaven.”

[@FoxDren]

It's correct, it's the exact text of the king James bible translation.

[@asonofdorn8442]

Christ is king!

[@ARandomULTRAKILLFan]

yay first commnet

[@williamcastro3017]

WARNING! Mama Bear mode Activated! RUN, oops too late. 🧏🏽‍♂️😊👍🏽

[@carlfranz6805]

Well, sonebody has seen "The Sound of Music".

[@wigginender]

First question was, "can she sing? " Second question was, "can she fight? "