Best HFY Stories: The Humans Call It “Anthropomorphism”

[@GenStallion]

Had a truck in the army. Her name was Sally. Not being human shaped isn't going to change anything.

[@Jszar]

Out of curiosity, would you and your fellow soldiers have risked their lives for Sally-the-truck, with no obvious need to do so? Asking because most people I know tend to think of their vehicles as animals rather than “full” people. We grieve when they die, and if it’s from malice, maybe even try to get revenge. But it’s pretty uncommon for humans to risk our own lives to bring back the body of a dead pet for burial.

[@GenStallion]

@Jszar Probably not. In my opinion, thinking of your vehicle as an animal is still a form of anthropomorphizing.

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@GenStalliondefinitionally it’s technically not anthropomorphising it. Since the Anthro literally stands for Human. Definitely still emotional. But on a technicality something else.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Human: yea, we have a really strong pack bonding drive... I mean " realy" strong Alien: can't be that bad... *Points to a human cooing and "feeding" a roomba with googly eyes*

[@DasHeino2010]

Agreed! :3

[@homoerectus6953]

its not a "Roomba" mate, that's Chris and we would die for him.....

[@justinpuzin5120]

Easy fix, just add a memory download system. Sure, Robo buddy still needs a new paint job for the new body, but all the quirks and experiences are there.

[@poppazoz]

Combine this with some sort of self destruction protocol so the human won't feel so obliged to go back. You know, "Hey, Cujo died to save us (when it blew up as the enemy got to close) but it's OK because we've got him in a flash drive and we'll put him in a new body. It could actually make them more willing to expend him in combat feeling like he's invulnerable.

[@anathardayaldar]

They should have interchangeable SIM cards.

[@norsehawk]

Put eyes on a trash can, Humans will name it, and woe be the xeno that kicks Dumpy.

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

Put two headlights on a vehicle. That's close enough to eyes that some humans will bond with their car.

[@DasHeino2010]

We are a lonely bunch! :3

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Don't you mean Benjamin?

[@redeye5515]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 Bin-jamin

[@dalemorgan8263]

​@@redeye5515 Came here to say exactly that.

[@warlockghovat5745]

I honestly thought this was going to end with a line about “recreational” drone development being requested.

[@user-sq5mr8ut1o]

Protectron: Please assume the position

[@KaiHenningsen]

"Sufficiently inhumane" isn't. Anything that can act autonomically humans can bond with. Which, actually, should make aliens happy, as they're members of that group.

[@taitano12]

Perhaps not so much happy as reassured. That does sound like a pretty large potential contract they lost. Well, at least they have the other contracts to look forward to. The failure of this one is actually a testament to the quality of workmanship and production values.

[@aardvarkqq]

Maybe explaining the pet rock will help

[@anathardayaldar]

I once had a pet rock but it died.

[@CowCommando]

Simple fix. Add a little quick release USB drive to the chest, head, and each limb. Teach the soldiers that the robot stores an identical backup of itself in each of these drives that is constantly being updated. If their robot friend ever gets injured, all they have to do to _save_ their friend is grab just one of the drives. Then they can upload their friend into a new robot body when they get back to base. Make them drill grabbing a USB device and then ditching the bot. It won't stop all of the issues, but they'll have an easier time just grabbing a memory stick and getting out of danger instead of trying to recover the whole bot.

[@Mark73]

I assume the USB drive is a dummy and doesn't actually do anything?

[@CowCommando]

@Mark73 Indeed, the story implies they upload their experiences to the cloud or some future equivalent. You might as well use it for something though. Maybe if the Wi-Fi is down wherever the fight takes places you'll get some unexpected benefit. Regardless, the drive's primary purpose is simply for the benefit of the soldiers to have some way to _save_ their friend without needing to go to all the trouble and risk of recovering the whole bot. That's what got them killed in the story. They didn't want to leave a fallen friend behind. That's why you drill them on saving one drive and leaving the rest. You're not teaching them to save the bot. You're teaching them to save themselves by leaving the bot when it falls while still giving the soldiers a way to fulfill their need to _save_ their friend. It should also help with the issue of wanting a specific bot fixed when a replacement body would be cheaper The drill teachers the soldiers that the _mind_ of the bot can switch bodies, so they get less attached to a specific frame. That's the goal anyway.

[@dalemorgan8263]

Solid reasoning

[@broEye1]

They were lucky. The most common response to a robot that looks human is "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" The other side of anthropomorphism: the uncanny valley.

[@CowCommando]

I think the blank faces and lack of hair probably saved them here. They were different enough to make it work.

[@corinthiansdaniels3728]

At least it's not the other side of this you know CLANK CLANK CLANK SNAP YEAOUCH command oh fuck we can't let anybody know about this

[@BruceBowman-wz9or]

Thank you for all the good stories. There are so many of your stories to comment on. Thank you again

[@MarkJohnson-ro1ed]

I’ve met EOD guys that will run through a mine field to retrieve their drones.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

Kinda was hoping for humanity to have to explain the rabbit hole that are furry's and anthros but this was just as good

[@Jszar]

Sequel time.

[@MarkJohnson-ro1ed]

A missed opportunity!

[@DasHeino2010]

Wait till they find out about Furries! :3

[@denifnaf5874]

They'd exterminate humanity

[@DasHeino2010]

@denifnaf5874 Avenge me brother! Avenge me!

[@elaniarkady7351]

So true! Like this one!

[@hy78an]

this one I like

[@luzifershadres]

Humans in HFY: Make bonds with emotionless drones, makeing them look HFN in the process Humans irl: "Sir, we lost 3 expensive drones." "Eugh, take civilian ones and send them on suicide missions."

[@Appolyon]

Let's be honest: just put a pair of googly eyes and a name tag on a garbage bin and the whole office will bond with "Dave" within a week.

[@Mark73]

Intellectually, the humans do understand that the drones aren't intelligent and don't feel anything. But that doesn't matter to the humans.

[@alexfranz817]

Wilson!

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Oh, we treated the drones like good jedi with Clone Troopers from Star Wars.

[@jaytonobrien6325]

Simple fix just give them an option to backup and save their unit's memory before an operation... and brief all squads that their Jeffery or Madison or whoever is going to be fine because they're all got an hyperdata transfer processor installed and could in the event of 'death' upload themselves back into HQ's database and be transferred into a new body. And give the drones a weak A.I. to further personalize themselves into their squads companionship

[@hybrid22003]

I saw a sequel to this. They put googly eyes on the new robots.

[@SuperCalFan]

Stick two googly eyes on a rock, a literal piece of stone, and you now have a pet for a human. What did they expect would happen? And how do they expect the aliens to design the drones so this attachment doesn't happen in the future?

[@loganshaw4527]

Aliens saying it is not alive. Meanwhile humans look at Johnny 5. Well he was not alive until he was alive.

[@RedRipperDragon]

100% someone tried to have, "relations" with one. 😅

[@ArkaneOmega]

Is this one about furries?

[@patrickplevak126]

Unfortunately not😕

[@JohnTheRaeder-xf5sh]

Noice!!!

[@anathardayaldar]

I would put googly eyes on mine.

[@dalemorgan8263]

I'm not the only one who's heard the name Aragath before, right? Struggling to recall from where exactly, but I think it's a username from somewhere.

[@ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc]

Well done. Pronouns have a bad name right now lol but you did a good job with this.

[@marvinmarvin4879]

Erster/ first Love from 🇩🇪