BEWARE OF THE HOLIDAY HOOVER: Don't Fall for the Narcissist's Tricks This Holiday Season

[@CommonEgo]

Have you ever endured the holiday hoover? Or maybe you're dealing with it now? If not, count yourself lucky 🙏❤

[@tomsl7111]

Happily I can say I'm not experiencing that. Great channel!

[@CommonEgo]

@@tomsl7111 Thank you! ❤

[@tomsl7111]

@@CommonEgo you are welcome!

[@jennifs6868]

Just went through it last night. Tears, and then silence. The feeling of being alone at this time is unbearable. Thankfully sleep has been merciful with me. Now to forget.

[@tomsl7111]

Oh my goodness! Some days ago I sent you a message answering your question. This morning I got a new message from this person. Now I know what's really going on here. These people never give you a closure. Not going to fall for it! 💪💪. Thank you for this video. It was necessary!

[@user-vj2sn7vv5s]

I always take myself back to the day when he ghosted and brutally discarded me , I was on the floor , a year later it mentally took alot of work for me to be back to where I was in a healthy way , now the hoovers have begun this week and a few months ago. I now know i need to protect myself. Guard your heart at all costs and dont let them back in.

[@elsitabebe]

NOT being hoovered is a compliment 🙏🙏🙏🙏THANK YOU for saying that so far SO good. 3 months no contact

[@emmamiller6493]

It's New Year's Eve and my ex has just texted me to say Happy New Year so I came straight here to settle myself and tell myself I'm doing the right thing not replying. I needed to hear this to keep strong and not entertain his hoover attempt. Can't say it's easy though :-(

[@lisaparlove989]

Not wanting my ex to deal with the holidays alone. So daily phone calls with him. But we divorced in September. I had to tell him no more calls today. Over is over. I was the one feeling angry being in contact. I needed this today. Thanks for posting.

[@CommonEgo]

Boundaries are so important ❤🙏

[@Jpl-z7p]

I searched for Holiday Hoover because my ex came back and the Hoover attempt was STRONG. He wanted someone to take him out on his birthday and to provide Thanksgiving and Christmas for him. I told him that if he wanted to talk about a relationship and build a healthy relationship, we could revisit that after the holidays were over and that my children were my only priority at this time. He never responded back. Complete silence. He wasn’t going to get what he wanted so he had no need to respond. It’s almost laughable when you have them figured out. It still blows my mind how their thought process works.

[@majorgirl3465]

Holidays make people vulnerable, remember they will use this as leverage use on you!!****

[@CommonEgo]

Sad but true 😔

[@MR-tr2fz]

This video is pure gold, from beginning to end, thank you! So timely - today I received a hoover xmas card from narc ex-mother. She writes, among other things, "please forgive me for the things you're claiming I did to you". Errr... Stay away from predators everyone, stay safe!

[@CommonEgo]

Complete with a fauxpology too... 😔

[@MR-tr2fz]

@@CommonEgo lol hadn't heard fauxpology before, excellent!

[@CommonEgo]

@@MR-tr2fz it's entirely possible that I just made it up 🤭

[@euanelliott3613]

I had a narc relative text me saying how much she missed me... That's funny, she didn't seem to miss me when she and her sister suddenly cut me out of their lives for more than two years without a word of explanation. And now I'm supposed to trust them? No way. NO CONTACT.

[@catherinezhu4761]

"It's not a compliment. It's an insult." Wow - that's GOLD!

[@AmethystDreaming]

Don't do it people!! I had a really shit end of 2018 with work issues and sickness and allowed him to hoover me. Within a couple of days he was back to his old tricks. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was STUPID, lonely but STUPID. I went through a partial abuse cycle and FINALLY went no contact for the VERY LAST TIME this year. I cannot believe I went back to it, he started abusing me literally two days after I went out to see him. I am stronger for it, but NEVER AGAIN. Holiday hoovers. You can be vulnerable. Am not having the greatest time right now but he will NEVER con me again.

[@CommonEgo]

I've been there. Stay strong ❤🙏

[@MR-tr2fz]

Con is the word indeed... Better alone than with a narc!

[@Mike-xt2lh]

I've noticed after being abused and belittled numerous times my narc father all of sudden started being super nice . But don't know how to get away from him he all of sudden started helping out when he didn't used to do anything for me he was super hateful & jealous towards me . I don't trust anything he says he sounds very suspicious and sneaky. He goes from acting really overt to covert with me it's very crazy . Thinking I'm being hoovered . I'm really worried now cause I can't get him outta my life . I feel he's only pretending to care about me when deep down I know he doesn't .

[@CommonEgo]

Trust your gut. Grey rock is an effective technique in times like these because narcs dont have patience for boundaries. They'll usually give up or show their true colors before long. And you're not violating him in any way by doing this. You're just setting your own boundaries ❤🙏

[@amyd1549]

Great video. Holidays are tough. The guilt in not responding to a tearful narc, brings me down.

[@CommonEgo]

That's the burden of empathy, but remember that having it is also the greatest blessing 🙏❤

[@MrCryptler69]

My Birthday is December 19th and I hope I don't hear from the Ex Narc Monster. Discarded after 13 years of marriage, come Thursday will be the Best Birthday and Christmas Gift combined! FREED FROM THE TRAUMA BOND!

[@CommonEgo]

Yes! Congratulations and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ❤

[@76_Sad_77_Happy]

I got divorced last year from my covert narcissist after being together for 17 years ,we have 2 beautiful girls together. I was brought up that family is above everything and my patents stayed together even though they weten not 100% happy ( I thought who is ?). My ex came from a divorced family where she was abused by her step father ( before her mother married this monster ). It is hard for me to let things go ,I am a co - dependant and I am from Irish blood so I want to fight against everything! The final disguard was fecking hard to take ,but I will not let my 2 girls down ! I am finding it hard to trust people at the moment because of what happend, I live in a different country and have a very small circle of friends here. The strengh I have is partly learned from people like you! Keep up the good work ! You have beautiful Brown eyes !

[@Angela-us8zh]

That grinch don't want to mess with this girl, I made myself clear he's a big looser, he can keep fooling his new evil supply. Happy Holidays tough narc survivors.🎁

[@CommonEgo]

❤🙏

[@dawna4185]

i def got hoovered today! acting all sweet and interested suddenly. he needed some company for christmas eve....stopped him right in his tracks and the nice sweet mask was ripped off revealing the predator beneath....i always get thrown off a little by this sudden interest...for a minute i wonder if it is genuine this time, that he realized how horrible he is, that he was remorseful...etc etc etc....NOPE!! such a predator, such a shame....thanks for the video xo

[@tomdarco2223]

I am doing my best to stay alive

[@CommonEgo]

Tom, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. There are online counseling programs and/or hotlines you can call if you dont have anyone to talk to right now. You're not alone ❤🙏

[@amyd1549]

Hi Tom. No matter what, you are not alone.

[@tomdarco2223]

@@amyd1549 I am a person and i am in trouble

[@pam164]

Tom It will get better give it time i felt like you 2 years ago thought i would never get through it but i did, no contact is the only way to free yourself as hard as it is but you will get where you are happy you do not hear from that person again. Take care

[@SunandSunflowers]

@tom darco it will get better((hugs)) These people are worthless, disgusting human being that try to pass themselves off as a decent humans. They are worthless and try and make you feel that way. I was in some dark moments and you have to go through the most painful phase first then you start feeling better. Then your healing journey begins. Self discovery, self love.

[@chrisdurocher2996]

Boundaries are so important! I love the super simple one word answer tip! Thanks!

[@SCGSHOW]

Urgh Narcs. Am I right

[@CommonEgo]

🤯😂

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

I feel Narcissism is brought on by trauma and a need for control. I think that demons are looking for an open door to enter and control people and using trauma affords an opportunity for them, thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share her phone number with (geniustracker) without touching her phone and i got access to all her text messages, Whatsapp, facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Gmail, Twitter both deleted and incoming ones, and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can reach him on WhatsApp [phone] and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

[@robertschultz9892]

8:01 on, was worth putting on a loop. It's pure gold!

[@CommonEgo]

Thanks! The hoovers are quite insulting. We're smarter than all that 🙏❤

[@MR-tr2fz]

@@CommonEgo so true, they're insulting indeed! They return with glee, as if nothing much ever happened. No way!

[@burox741]

Great channel. I been binge watching you’re videos. I like how to know “spirituality” intertwines with “narcissist” aka “demons” aka low vibrational beings!

[@hermajesty00]

I expect it every Nov around Thanksgiving and near my deceased Mother's birthday. I'm impervious because I don't celebrate them anymore. I miss and regret nothing.

[@maryholton162]

I had one turn up after 10 years, but on my birthday.

[@jesusbasketball8740]

Your videos are pointed towards those that hurt you due to your own will allowing you be in the relationship. Yes someone’s intentions can be much more extreme is using or selfishness but each human applies this sinful nature in some type of measure if you haven’t then we are lying. Appreciate your lessons learned through your experience. Cheers!

[@1986shereen]

my ex narc tried to contact me most holidays this is accurate. I fell for it few times because I didn't have him blocked now I do

[@CommonEgo]

Same 😔 At least now we know better

[@jenniferbulpitt]

I so wish I had found this over the holiday season.

[@TheDODOFRO]

The person I deal with on occasion claimed recently their phone “is broken and resent a message (from weeks ago.)” but also made sure to point out “But I don’t receive messages right away, so if it takes me a few days to respond that’s why” I basically called it out as bullshit by saying “are you just trying to get me to call you instead?” In a playful manner.. Also- this supposed glitched text happened the night before my birthday. No mention of my birthday from them though, they just responded to my kidding around about calling with some insults and saying they “weren’t playing games and not sure what’s wrong with me” This person would often cause an argument or just flat out not come around during my birthday, despite dating for about 7 years. Anyway, your point about narcs texts never being unintentional in reply to someone else’s comment on here struck me as being relevant. I can’t shake the feeling that she didn’t do all of that (getting into contact “accidentally” only to then discard / blow me off right around my birthday) just to mess with my head and make my Bday more about her occupying my thoughts. I looked for videos about so- here I am..

[@keepontrucking6895]

Mine just did on my birthday it’s so weird!

[@Ms.Simone7]

😂😂 spot on! Blocked him everywhere except Facebook because I never use it. Today is January 1st and he found me there and messaged me. I deleted and blocked him there now too.

[@lotusphoenix8]

He decided to drive 3 hours to come see the kids after refusing to drive 5 minutes to see them for WEEKS before the holidays. Then I get a 'call me anytime if you need to talk' text 🙄 child please!

[@jenniferbulpitt]

"preying on someone's vulnerability is predator behavior" umm yes

[@killertofu88]

This is the progression of texts after I decided to go no contact with my ex abuser, let's call him Monster. Note: This person emotionally and physically abused me during the course of our "relationship", and from the texts, you can most likely deduce how much of an idiot he is. This is after multiple hoovering attempts, to which I ignorantly responded to. This is after I decided I cannot contact him bc it's SO toxic and nothing good will ever come of it. Ever. The last conversation we had was me calling him out because he cannot respect my boundaries. He wanted to try to be friends - which is absolutely insane to me. He also showed no remorse for assaulting my boyfriend a while back (That's a whole other story. I have MANY), when I mentioned all of the reasons why I will never want to be his friend and do not want him in my life. I am so utterly embarrassed and ashamed that I was even involved with this "person". You can tell how emotionally ignorant he is by how astounded he tries to act by the new Mr. Roger's movie. LOL It's hilarious when they try to act like they have feelings like we do. Call their bluff. No matter how many times they try to apologize, or end up in an emergency room, do not get involved. It will only end up with you being used by the emotional vampires that they are. At least I can laugh about it now because he is so predictable, just waiting for the day the anger stops. You literally have to pretend like they're dead. November 7th Monster: I'm sorry for being mean last night Me: November 15th Monster: Hey. Do you hate me Me: December 3rd Monster: The Mr. Roger's movie is fucking deep man (sad face emoji) Me: December 25th Monster: Merry Christmas dude

[@CommonEgo]

Good for you for hold your ground ❤🙏

[@killertofu88]

@@CommonEgo Thank you! Your videos are so helpful and I want you to know that I appreciate what you do. 💜

[@jonidietrich9658]

I thought they hated holidays, gifts, etc

[@CommonEgo]

That's what you might expect when you're with them or they're otherwise not interested in hoovering, but you're right. Ruining holidays is also a thing ❤🙏

[@MR-tr2fz]

They do hate them, they only do it if they've got something to gain.

[@jetted_out]

Got my holiday hoover today on valentines day. After I discarded her a month ago. Needless to say the door didn't get answered. Make than likely got bored with supply. Or he didn't come out to be what she thought.

[@futureshocked]

Ex contacted me like clockwork on Thanksgiving

[@CommonEgo]

They're nothing if not predictable...

[@jmal2k1]

So crazy ..here it is 4 days after Christmas 2 days before new years eve...and I get the call out of the blue smh

[@tomdarco2223]

Thank you

[@chrisearle40]

My narc dipped her toes in the water to check the temperature. She unblocked some photos of us together between thanksgiving and Christmas. I never reached out to her.

[@gilmourishgilmourish6205]

@bert.s Pitts... did you not wonder why no one replied to your comment? It is because it’s blocking. ! I wanted to inform about the nbr where that was.

[@CommonEgo]

Unfortunately, that account spams comment threads. KZbin automatically blocks a lot of his comments and I report the rest that I find 😔

[@gilmourishgilmourish6205]

Common Ego okay 👌

[@emmapritchard7003]

My brother died on xmas day, my ex narcissist knew that xmas is so hard for me, instead of supporting me, he just caused drama

[@CommonEgo]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that ex is out of your life as much as possible now ❤

[@sinm619]

What should I do because the narc which is a sibling that I am trying to maintain no contact with is tricking my mom and because I am maintaining my boundaries they are acting like the person who is the victim and Acting like I’m soooo horrible for not saying hi to them and telling my mom oh she didn’t wish me merry Christmas she’s so rude and my mom still is falling for the trick that they are good so she’s looking at me like why wouldn’t you wish this sibling happy birthday you should have manners and why don’t you want to call this sibling for me. I am getting constantly guilt tripped because the false narrative is being believed. Sometimes it would just feel easier to comply so I could have my mom in my life because it can seem like I’m such a horrible person to her and it’s all a lie. Everything that happens whenever the narc tries to Hoover me and it doesn’t work this sibling runs back to my mom acting like the victim and gets away with it. I seriously don’t know what to do because I don’t want to lose my mom and I can’t stay in this relationship with the narc. It’s so painful to hear the narrative of who the narc says I am believed and to be treated sometimes as if I’m the narc and I am the one who is abusing them. How is this even possible for life to be like this?

[@trickynicky2118]

Just got a Holday Hoover from my 'Brother'. 5 Years No Contact. Clearly he is trying to set up his free accomodation for Christmas. I'm ignoring it, grateful for my research otherwise my empathy would have been highjacked yet again. It always ends the same way- me getting used for whatever resources he can appropriate.

[@integrityvending3432]

Great info!! Thank you ❤️

[@CommonEgo]

Thanks for watching! ❤

[@anitaw1901]

I am having difficulty understanding...word pronunciations aren't clear... 🎧

[@notesbynaq]

Got a video death in the family hoovering? Or, after they break your heart, what about the "just checking on you" hoover When they call you sounding sincere knowing you're hurting wanting to check to see if you're OK. Yeah right.. smh

[@CommonEgo]

They'll use any excuse to get a foot in the door. I'm sorry you're going through that. ❤🙏

[@sinm619]

What could you do if the narc on your birthday pops up and tries to Hoover you by handing you a gift in front of other people but you have been no contact with the narc. Thoughts?

[@YouGotThatRight111]

Block and go on with your life

[@universe2198]

Thanks 🙏

[@CommonEgo]

Thanks for watching ❤🙏

[@wingardiumleviosa5514]

My ex snapchatted me to tell me he’s marrying his new supply. I am stupid and said I didn’t need to know that. Then he got me to argue. He told me he hated me and I should die. I screenshot all the messages. So in the morning he deleted me off Snapchat but then he added me again only from a different account and said the only reason he messaged in the first place was to tell me to get my stuff out of our photography studio because he’s closing it.

[@MR-tr2fz]

Pure madness... I pity his new supply. Let's hope she's a narc and they both get their due.

[@andreaherron968]

My Covert NM i feel is trying to hoover me and it's crazy because for the past week she has been trying to gaslight me and now she wants to be extra nice. Honestly I rather her stay her normal gaslighty self at least it was honest. This shit right here is annoying I can hear the fakeness in her voice.

[@lizafield9002]

Great topic but super compromised acoustics. It's like a soundtrack from a cement barracks or a prison. But thanks!

[@BigPete44]

Common Ego. Can you come and chase my holiday Hoover away?? Lmao 😩. I’ve fallen into these traps but no longer. I’ve lived and learned 👍 Still single though! 🤔😂😉😘

[@CommonEgo]

😂

[@BigPete44]

😂😉😉

[@pam164]

I got a blank txt last Xmas eve off my ex narc after 18 months no contact, i ignored him then in Feb got a txt meant for his daughter but sent to me! ha ha moron did he think i fell for that one ignore, ignore!!

[@CommonEgo]

I can think of one time in my life when I sent a text to the wrong person. It was because two people were texting me at the same time and I was rushing. If you get a text from someone you haven't communicated with in weeks or months, it's no accident 😅

[@pam164]

@@CommonEgo Yes nearly 2 years! this was 2 months after blank txt, He even said his daughter's name in txt so i would txt back and say oh no you sent me txt by mistake, so he could say oh sorry about that then open commuication between us! ha ha I know how he works.

[@mariehumphrey5328]

They are sick people

[@tomdarco2223]

First

[@CommonEgo]

Ha! You even beat me 😅

[@tomdarco2223]

@@CommonEgo I Need to Talk

[@lovewillwinnn]

You keep saying narCIST. Isn’t it narCISSist? Three syllables? Slowwwww. down please.

[@CommonEgo]

Hmmm... I've never heard that but I know the audio wasn't the best on this video. Thanks for your feedback 🙏❤

[@MR-tr2fz]

"Slowwwww. down please" - shouldn't that read slow? That's too many Ws.

[@TheOnlyWay]

@@CommonEgo Hi how are you? Got a question. For an adult child of narcissistic parents that want him to visit them for the holidays. Do you recommend visiting for a few days or dont visit at all? This adult child has bad CPTSD and has been struggling in every aspect of life living alone and has been semi-contacting them the past couple years. There are siblings, some that have been sweet and kind, others have seemed like "flying monkeys" at times.

[@ginalam3567]

thank you

[@CommonEgo]

Thanks for watching 🙏❤

[@tomdarco2223]

Thank You