Beyond the Steps: the intimacy of tango connection | Season 3, Episode 5

[@soundawn]

I was dancing in Berlin this past weekend at a marathon. I reluctantly accepted a cabeceo because I hadn’t watched him on the floor yet. Before taking the embrace, he quickly said to me, 'Finally! I was trying to cabeceo you yesterday.' I smiled and didn’t think much of it. As soon as we stepped onto the floor and embraced, a wave of warmth and appreciation from him came right through, pouring into me. The next day, I looked for him and had one of the most emotional tandas of my tango journey so far. We were completely in sync, having a rich yet meditative conversation with moves. After the tanda, we shared one of those long hugs, and when we looked at each other, there were tears in our eyes. No words were exchanged, just a quiet moment of mesmerizing this profound and intimate connection as we walked off the floor together. People used to ask me, 'How do you know a tanda is good?' Now I can say, 'When you have to go sit in the corner and calm yourself down afterward.'

[@Mezzosopran999]

After such tandas I generally have to go home. I know it won't happen again that evening, and want to luxuriate in the feeling.

[@jeffstormberg9885]

It"s a beautiful thing.

[@imsotango]

wow that' amazing! I have had a number of tearful tandas, one was this past weekend. We danced a Pugliese tanda, I was leading. It was so emotional! At the end I couldn't help tearing up.

[@imsotango]

yes, I totally do that sometimes... when you know it really can't get any better, calling it a night feels more appropriate

[@dmitrykozlov5658]

Love listening to you! I started tango after many years of experience in other social dancing and yoga and qigong and my experience was very similar to what you describe. These parallels between tango and qigong are on my whole tango way and more deeper I study tango new parallels are discovered. Thank you for sharing your experience!

[@imsotango]

oh wow! I'm sure you are finding all sorts of connections!

[@jurgenhuybrechts2990]

When you meet your muze at the milonga and you experience the entire shared collective memory summarized in one smile of her, when you feel your chest sink in hers that little fraction more, when you start moving and feel immediate reciprocity...in that case you can let go yourself, being in the moment and becomming the extension of the other

[@imsotango]

beautiful!

[@mrkevinvalencia]

The first time this happened to me, I was very taken aback. It only happened when I stopped overthinking. In my internal dialogue, I said, “Kevin, dance with her like you’re in love with her.” So I tried, and my follower said it felt like I relaxed. I said I did, so we kept moving. And it got deeper and deeper to the point where it was just an amazing transcendence that happened. The way I describe being able to get to that place is, I choose to be present for a particular follower and to show them this is the quality of how I love through my movement. I am present, and I am willing to surrender to the intimacy of the moment and provide a safe place for that experience to be birthed. When it works well, it’s magnetic. I’ve had friends stop and have to watch me dance with someone because they see what is happening, and it’s so intoxicating, majestic, and beautiful.

[@imsotango]

wow that's so powerful! So simple too! "This is the quality of how I love through my movement" I love that. Thanks for sharing!

[@rolfroessig4039]

Yelizaveta ❤!... you are doing so great work in rationally discovering, reflecting and articulating these complex inner processes within the dancers, the couple and the community. I feel that I could follow and agree to almost all of your considerations. I have experienced soft harmonic tandas with women who have some rich inner world, as well as the powerful tandas with dancers with well trained bodys ... in the lucky case were you felt into an energetic embrace, were the music fits to your wishes and were no further couple is suddenly entering the space you wish for the first step you are wondering about were she is and what she would wish. Does she just wish to follow an esthetic reasonable move, or does she wish a heavy clear dialogue like carbon on paper, might she consider softness as weakness ... would she be positively surprised if the first step is not again a salida although all its practical benefits... there is a lot to do from the position of a leader and if she knows about that and understands that even the phase of syncronizing may become playful. I enter the ronda in wishing us a wonderful dance silently asking who are you were are you, are we dancing for us, do you want to shine at the other end if the ronda infront of the others...and all this. That is the one thing.... and now some fully hardcore technical considerations 😊 wait for the end. There is a mathematical approach in respect to coupling moving systems. And this approach identifies just three main parameters. These are "resilience", "sensitivity" and "proportionality" with the obligation that they sum up to 1 which means any increase of a parameter reduces the others and you have to find the right mixture. Also the leader has these parameters and the funny thing is wheter and how they resonate depends on their "adjustments" and 😮 these adjustments vary by the musik.. I dropped these thaughts and if someone would like to deepen kybernetik aspects in tango this might be continued... ok, thanks again for yor great IMSO tango thaughts

[@imsotango]

wow! LOVE the mathematical approach! So interesting how well that works as a metaphor. Thank you for sharing!

[@RiverSiege]

I describe "connection" simply as: "the ability to send and receive information. Just like a phone call, a bad connection makes simple ideas difficult to communicate, a good connection allows people to exchange huge amounts of information instantly". The elusive connection that tango addicts yearn for; often called "tango bliss, tango nirvana, entraga, dancer's high, etc" I call "trandscendence" and I describe it as "when your souls touch". I've had the luck/pleasure to have experienced transcendence four times in my 11ish years of dancing and each time has been quite different. So my deifnition of souls touching has been the easiest way to describe it to a layman. I'm pretty sure I've given the experience to many people because I feel their breathing and heartbeat synchronise with my own, plus sensed that peace in their mind.

[@imsotango]

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

[@juliemonroe5086]

I will be there. 🎊 🎉

[@imsotango]

yeay! see you soon!