Bill Engvall Comedy: The Come to Jesus Meeting

Bill Engvall: If you've been involved with a woman long enough, you know that periodically we have to have what they like to call the "come to Jesus" meeting. This is where they've had it and they want to talk. We had one two nights ago. We were sitting at the dinner table, me and my kids and my wife. We said grace and then my wife said "alright!". I said, "alright kids, put your forks down. Mama's fixing to lose her mind."
Subscribe for more Bill Engvall: bit.ly/2ZqQ8Tw
Check out more of Bill's stand up comedy: bit.ly/2KdcJhb
Follow Bill Engvall
Facebook - bit.ly/2OB76gZ
Instagram - bit.ly/2OwtTud
Twitter - bit.ly/2GGKUM5
Website - billengvall.com/
About Bill Engvall
Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
- Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
- Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
- Aged and Confused (2009)
- 15° Off Cool (2007)
- Dorkfish (1998)
- Here’s Your Sign (1996)
Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
#BillEngvall
Bill Engvall Comedy
/ @billengvallcomedy

[@susanjohnson9795]

He never fails to make me laugh out loud. Very descriptive.

[@barrydlewis7768]

He laughs and I laugh.

[@sueogden2758]

Love the way he tells stories. Nobody does it better!

[@dallasponder3396]

totally agree

[@ruadhrose]

You know why? Because everything he talks about is so relatable. We all have family stories like these. So of course we laugh!

[@ashleyhall1375]

Your so right!!!!

[@Devinj2000]

Christopher Titus. Watch his stuff. He tells a great story too.

[@tahoemike5828]

Experience has taught me that laundry does indeed need to be separated in two piles; red stuff, and everything else.

[@adelemadden8639]

Bill Engvall is one of the funniest stand up comedians ever!

[@johnstjohn1987]

The brotherhood of bowls LMFAO

[@cynthiaennis3107]

johnstjohn1987 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@nancyomalley9959]

Over a year ago, when I still lived in Lynbrook and had a dishwasher, I put my Brotherhood of bowls in the center of the top rack, with drinking glasses on either side. The dinner plates were together in the front of the lower rack, with pots and pans in the rear

[@MistyCunard]

When my family is all together and I even say “okay while got I’ve every one together” I can hear buttholes clinch.

[@ruadhrose]

“Mama’s fixin’ to lose her mind.” My husband has actually said this to our kids before! 😂. And he was right!

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

the whites go in the hot water and the colors go in the cold water .....not gonna touch that one 🙊

[@cynthiaennis3107]

David Farrell 😂

[@susanharrell416]

357 Magnum 🤔....😀

[@Rwoarr]

Lol that is really funny

[@tinataylor4573]

@@Magnum-qd5mr a

[@Whatthefk189]

Well.. I finally learned how to do laundry and dishes today.

[@guibox3]

I've always enjoyed Bill's stand up. The entire comedy routine this video is pulled from is still one of the funniest and cleanest stand ups I've heard. His bit on the warning labels is completely awesome and of course the 'Here's Your Sign' bits! X-D

[@taitano12]

As a professional - been working in restaurants my whole life, both front and back of the house - I learned how to load a dishwasher before my parents got their first one. I had to teach my dad how to load it.

[@tantagoth]

Mr. Engvall you are simply one of the greatest. Classic in every sense and there is nothing to be said to improve such a performance.

[@danwalker2642]

When my wife is gone to visit her parents, the washer becomes my hamper and the dryer becomes my dresser, I eat over the sink, making the bed for me is closing the bedroom door, and life is easier.

[@lindafurr2404]

Dan I use my washer as my hamper too except I don’t mix whites. The washer is also my folding table. I eat in the living room. I only make my bed if I’m expecting company. And life is easier if you don’t worry about the little things. It all works out in the end😹😹😹😹

[@johnfortes2171]

I'm single- nuff said!

[@robbiehagberg3515]

Still haven't even married mostly then I've been there for a long to do it for a while now and

[@zackschilling5154]

I plan on getting a washer dryer combo machine so I never have to remember

[@robertmoffit1135]

@@johnfortes2171 yeah me too

[@jamesMwebber]

It just slaps them around the whole cycle 🤣

[@mellownessuperstar2618]

I feel his wife's pain. My "better half" and my son "LOAD" the dishwasher and I have to go behind and rinse some stuff and reorganize most. In the end, the dishes are thoroughly clean and two thirds more fit in hahaha. Flipping hilarious. Love Bill

[@linebrunelle1004]

your family taught you a great lesson. "if we do a crappy job, she'll end up doing it herself and we are off the hook". Good job!

[@user-mu5ny1ks6t]

Nailed it! My children’s Mother had her ways and she tried to teach me. I was a C grade student.

[@spaceo8568]

I have loved Bill Engvall for twenty years. Great story teller, fantastic punchlines, and 15 Degrees Off Cool is one of the best and funniest specials I've ever seen. Awesome.

[@hikingwiththedog6078]

I'm the only woman in a family of guys, and Bill describes exactly how I feel, LOL, he's hilarious

[@jcarbone811]

Don't forget to separate the colors into lights and darks, too. That's what my grandmother used to do anyway.

[@emperorgluteusmaximus7069]

Does anyone else's wife wait until you're about to turn off the light and go to sleep before she announces she wants to talk?!

[@rayakoth]

Prayers to you, bro :)

[@robertrickett7816]

Sure, but the lights are off, and I'm dozing off. It took a while but she learned not to do that. Now we talk when it's day light

[@kenstubrick634]

His humor is priceless 🤣🤣🤣

[@paulyaunsem2307]

I’m not the only one then. Thank you. I never had a dishwasher when I was growing up but I always knew the pattern long before I had one and my wife would always be the one to just throw the dishes in and say I don’t care how it goes in. I really am glad I’m not the only one that did that.

[@gl12rr]

I 2 have been banished from doing laundry. I love when a plan comes together! Only cost me 2 white t shirts with a red one!!

[@giraffeNana2023]

Had to teach my daughter, "Honey, you have 2 choices. Gratefulness that Chad loaded the dishwasher. Or, gripe that he did it wrong, and he'll never load it again."

[@k8ishere]

I don't like the way my husband loads the dishwasher, but I keep my mouth shut because I'm happy if he does it at all. 😂

[@lauriivey7801]

I'm a firm believer of the idea, "If I didn't have to do it myself, then it was done right." I can overlook a lot, if someone is willing to help with the chores.

[@jesseedix6916]

Exactly

Excellent approach

[@alwayssme]

i let my husband wash the dishes, for me thats the prewash lol

[@oliviafraser7708]

My s/o has a method I don't understand so I let him load. Saves on wasted energy.

[@tambrosia]

Thank you for posting Bill E funny as heck love him and Jeff Foxworthy...

[@danbytp]

My mother taught us 5 kids about the dishwasher plate order very early in life.And my dad took advantage of that real quick.

[@humancattoy7767]

Been there. Done that. Said that too. I'm still not allowed to go anywhere near the dishwasher.

[@goodmusic3576]

I love this hilarious and talented man.

[@waynelast1685]

Of course there must be a pattern in the dishwasher. That’s obvious.

[@rubysanders2378]

The dishwasher has a system called "replacement" keep it together. 🤣🤣

[@jamespfitz]

Yeah, obvious, right. But it took me FOREVER to understand that some people look at a dishwasher and simply do not agree. It baffles my mind, it perplexes me, it kinda bothers me. But I've learned the world needs both both kinds of people: the ordered AND the crazy.

[@waynelast1685]

@@jamespfitz We need all kinds of people.

[@charliebird5299]

Just loved The Blue Collar Comedy Tour specials, they were hilarious! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lizf4717]

Makes me laugh every time I watch his video's.

[@stopdalies]

The dishwasher has a system called "replacement" keep it together. 🤣🤣

[@lucynightfall455]

Cant count how many "come to Jesus meetings" I had with my kids! Now its their turn with their kids! FUNNY TO WATCH!

[@fearzine732]

I love the part where he says “Laundry Room Not Even Allowed In There Anymore”

[@kathyyoung1774]

FearZine What a waste. I taught me daughters to do laundry at age 8. Guys can learn, too.

[@nancyomalley9959]

@dark zeratul And God forbid if anything should happen to the wife that she can no longer do the wash?

[@Miasdaddy7]

So true. You hit the nail right on the head Bill.

[@soylentteal]

"If you think "loading the dishwasher" means gettin' your wife drunk..."

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Seventh Mist 😂🤣😂

[@Scrapla1]

The king of dad jokes!

[@onnieduvall2565]

I wish this one went longer. It sounds like the way I do dishes and laundry. What’s wrong with that? It gets the job done.

[@simeonbaumel7293]

Be careful with the dishwasher. If you move all the dishes around, you might have a bowl movement

[@tyro244]

Dad Joke Alert! :-b

[@killerseddie8295]

Waka Waka!

[@paulapayne7940]

Ha Ha !

[@amyfrancis9282]

Simeon Baumel “bowl” movement set me back for a minute 🤣

[@michaelh.8280]

This actually made me chuckle. I don't laugh. Ever.

[@bb3ca201]

I love Bill Engvall's comedy. Hilarious!

[@tammyarmstrong8450]

R W NV

[@smileeysface]

R W )

[@brendacollier9296]

The rule is he don't ask me to cut grass or shovel snow and I won't ask him to load fishwasher

[@BigSCTVfan]

Women, taking the joy out of male comedian's lives since forever.

[@babygoose8716]

We aren’t even a religious family and we’ve had quite a few “come to Jesus” meetings hahaha

[@diedrapayne6202]

Bf today I had not heard your comedy... (living in a jungle) but I have listened to so many routines and laughed myself sane! They said it couldn't be done.lol..you are SOOOO funny and your language is clean too which proved my point and I can't begin to tell you how important that is TO ME! You are cute and happily married...

[@aprildannettegosa5381]

he's been married forever so they do something right LOL they know how to laugh together

[@john-boy4283]

He forgot to mention how to make the bed, fold towels, etc, etc.

[@billdillon8139]

I feel your pain brother. It's exactly how you describe it. Large plates go together. Medium size plates go together. Saucers go together. But don't you DARE mix them.

[@nancyomalley6286]

Otherwise, it wastes space

[@octgirl62]

I have fussed at my husband because of the way he loads the dishwasher. The way he loads it, it’s a wonder the dishes don’t shatter all over the place. Lol

[@TxgrlnGa]

Im the dishwasher..he hands me another beer to load me!

[@Padoinky]

Glad to see that obviously I am not alone

[@constantdeffo984]

I am 33 years old and you would think his comedy is just for middle aged men ; but this man is really funny 😀.

[@boogerbrains138]

You're literally middle aged

[@kikialdrich4574]

Mama losing her mind is called Menopause. Dear Lord. Help us all.

[@christineloos2007]

I think of this every time I rearrange the dishwasher.

[@NB-ky5ol]

Who the hell would load a dishwasher plate, bowl, saucer, bowl?? That would drive me nuts too. 😂

[@nancyomalley9959]

@John Lester And the kids! And the random placement wastes space!

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Bill, you’re the best! 👍🏼😂

[@GUESTSPEAKERS]

Amen!

[@melissacooper8724]

Bill is right on when it comes to men doing laundry vs. women doing laundry!

[@havefaith4358]

I follow him as much as possible! I miss his show!!!

[@mrs.thomas-usmcwife5686]

I'm lucky if I can get my husband to take his dishes to the kitchen! All my clothes are washed on cold. LOL

[@dallasponder3396]

i wash all of my clothes on cold also

[@katieblake8911]

LOL their feelings get hurt their delicate 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@annharris1174]

We have 2 dishwashers. Myself & my husband...lol

[@cordeliadaniels7737]

He missed it on the laundry..... Heres your sign ! Lol

[@mikekelly607]

The secret is do such a bad job loading the dishwasher that she'll never want you to do it again.

[@WoodlandPoetry]

Did she explain the rinse cycle to you? Nothing gets rinsed well on cold. Scientific fact - Grandma said so. And some modern washers have fins on the bottom of the agitator that can damage delicates. So you have to be real careful and put all that stuff in a sack before you stuff it in there. And if that doesn't work, you have to put the little sacks on top of a bunch of sheets. It's really complicated. I'm glad you got your wife is not as particular as all that! Thanks for a trip down memory lane and some great laughs!

[@carolwatson988]

I cannot stop laughing at this man. This is the first video I ever saw of his years ago and I love it when he pops up and I click it along and I'll laugh like it's the first time I ever heard it. If I'm down and out I don't feel good I find Bill Engvall and watch and listen to him and within 5 minutes I forgotten what else I was thinking about and I can't thank you enough bill how many times you saved my life not really but you know when you get really depressed about something or Nothing Even you don't know what?? And really he's also good before you go to sleep you can listen to one of his videos and laugh and feel good say your prayers you've a right to sleep! So again Bill Engvall this is Carol in Maryland thanking you for sharing your comedic Talent and also your Sunday morning live that you're doing now that I really like also. Now I'm watching this August 12 20/20!!!!! I don't know the date of this video while I could find out but I still love it and all the ones about the hospital with the marijuana cracks me up. Take care be safe and God bless you sir job well done

[@denisemcdougal6445]

Commentary "apparently you are ". Too funny!

[@joycepoe6631]

This is hilarious 😆

[@davidgoodman5301]

My father has been reformed! He does dishes just like Bill's wife.

[@ginamcdonald7854]

He’s the best ever!!!

[@JasonL77]

Notice when he says “You can’t just put in a pair of jeans with a pair of a tied.”, a woman in the audience said “Uh-uh.”

[@NolaGB]

Love Bill!!!!!

[@mandysimmons2769]

da bruddahood of bowls. LOL I will laff all day about that one.

[@lucynightfall455]

I used to separate my laundry, now everything goes in clothes wise until machine is full, then add soap & push start

[@nancyomalley6286]

Yeah, I have to go to the laundromat, so separating the wash is not happening for me. I am not sending $30 a week on washing machines weekly!

[@kenchristiansen2080]

I heard the lady in the background agree with Bill that you can't just put everything in the washing machine lol @ 302

[@Christknight1991]

So my mom my stepdad doesn’t even bother doing laundry anymore haha

[@nickmcnamara8767]

The brotherhood of bowls 😂

[@kinginfamousz]

2:59 i replayed this to many times. 🤣

[@bobwinters6459]

He is so damn funny!

[@kencohagen4967]

Check this out! When I met my wife I lived in a house with my buddy, renting a room from him. It was cheaper than any apartment and was a very good deal as I worked days and he worked nights, hence no fighting over the remote. And on weekends we watched the same thing anyway, so other than the lack of getting lid, life was perfect. So when she came along and I needed to do laundry and was too broke to do anything besides hang out with her I went out to the laundry room and through all my clothes in the same load. Then, because our washing machine was broken and we hadn't saved up enough to replace it, I went out just before the rinse cycle and pulled the hose off the drum and drained the water. Replacing it and doing that again just before the spin cycle. I never did laundry again!

[@sindycarveth1207]

Thank you for the giggle.

[@russellfredrick6519]

This is so true. I don't even bother any more.

[@paulhampton6408]

PS. He got it easy ! Seen too many yell scream shout !. Lord" he's lucky !.

[@MrJking065]

Dear God Bill....You are so right about the laundry.I can longer even wash towels.And forget folding clothes.

[@mwaynem]

My wife had a summer job that required her to be away several summers. When she got home in September she would always complained about things being in the wrong place when she came home. I told her more than once don't like it don't leave. I know what you're thinking you must really like sleeping on the couch. No no no no no l don't get told where to sleep in our house. My wife knows that relationships have limits. We've been married 40 years and both of us know each others limits. Mostly through trial and error. Fortunately more trial than error.

[@kellyanndean9374]

Love him,especially when he talks about JESUS💖💖💖💖

[@zenriley2351]

Always enjoy Bill

[@7ajhubbell]

Thank you!

[@jolenealbert3403]

Nailed it!!!! LOL

[@welshpete12]

I have a non electric dish washer in my house , it's called the dog !

[@allenbanks4234]

Well as a man, the reason I put bowl, plates together is so when I go to put back in cabinet they are all together and I don’t have to spend so much time on a search or making multiple tips to the same spot. Laundry I don’t give crap about separating I just want to make sure it’s enough for a load to get my moneys worth!!

[@royhellberg3568]

Amen brother Get em clean is the object isnt it?

[@moniquefiorecna]

Omg in my house I do all the laundry. I do mine and my grandparents laundry. My cousin does his own but I put the laundry soap in. Cuz I took a week off of doing any washing cuz of surgery.before I had surgery I bought a large tub of tide pods and a huge bottle of fabric softener. So everyone did there own laundry. After a week of being in bed rest I went to check how much laundry soap and softener they used... There was only 7 tide pods left and the bottle of fabric softener was gone! I was dumbfounded cuz it was over 70 tide pods and this huge gallon of fabric softener. I asked my family did they eat the tide pods?lol after that I took over the laundry. Plus my family laundry smelled of laundry soap soo bad it made my allergies go crazy 😂

[@charlottefeldman4815]

I am so OCD that I was arranging the dishes just so and then I said, "What!!" So now i just put them in and they STILL get clean.

[@dylanstraub9612]

Lol so funny. Wife makes me wash dishes before running them through the dish washer.

[@rickshannep4033]

Life can be very confusing and complicated! LOL

[@GloriaDarum-vx1fq]

You always make me laugh Bill 👍😉

[@TheGhostScorpion]

i wasnt allowed in the laundry room either.... apparently... i loaded the washer wrong...and it resulted in a street fight inside the washer... cause that thing was shaking and slowly moving from the wall, cause sweaters and jeans dont get along at all. the sweater was dating a sock...that was the jean's ex...and was like a laundry version of jerry springer that took place in my washer.

[@MrsCynfuller]

I laugh till I cry, funny funny funny

[@survivrs]

Apparently 278 people have no clue what this "come to Jesus meeting" is all about....or....they've been on the receiving end of that meeting just like Bill!!! hahaha!!

[@xenawolf]

279 now, what a hick loser!

[@laurasisson1121]

@@xenawolf think its a southern thing having COme to Jesus meetings.?

[@accapellamusicman6638]

Wow. Never knew i couldnt wash my Jeans and panties together. Learn something new lol

[@LeeLee-pk4ss]

You know now his wife has video evidence that he knows how to do it right. He just explained it all to us so now if he doesn't do it right he is in for a world of hurt

[@SPACE_TRACE]

THAT'S WHERE SHE GETS HIM WITH HIS OWN "HERE'S YOUR SIGN." LOL

[@markcadieux3445]

He pays for the dishes, food and .dishwasher She can load the dishwasher.

[@n3rdyg1rl11]

theoretical understanding does not always mean practical outcome. he will still fuck it up.

[@catmeifyoucan4649]

YOU'RE THE BEST, Bill Engvall!!!😘