Bill Maher's New Rules #3

A selection of Maher's funniest new rules between 2008 and 2012.
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Other Bill Maher compilations: • Bill Maher Compilations
If you want more of these compilations, please consider showing some love on Patreon: patreon.com/mostlybillmaherclips

[@Ash-ow5yc]

“Oh, go turn over to regular tv if you’re so offended. 🙄” Reasons why I love Bill Maher.

[@jerryguzman2847]

I love a hot girl who likes bill Maher!

[@RohitChouhan-dj7se]

YOU ARE MY ALL TIME M.ILF 😘

[@RohitChouhan-dj7se]

@Sam Girshovich MOFO AFRAID OF COMPETITION?

[@washingtonconsultants1041]

OMG "Alla and Mohamad are names not associated with air safety," LMAO i laughed my ass off.

[@-.00__I__o8o__I__00.]

Seems more like a suicidal/homicidal pilot at the end…

[@OntarioAndrews415]

That had me cracking up LOL for real. :)

[@MScorpioM]

Ten minutes of pure laughter. That last bit was utterly hilarious and spot-on. Bill Maher is amazing!

[@chancewallace47]

"Bill Maher's editorials are always so dann good! It's crazy.. Consistently one of the best parts of my week each and every week. Dude is a national treasure. So funny,, utterly fearless, unapologetically honest and completely spot on/correct about every issue he discusses. Even if you're too PC to recognize it" -Bill Maher

[@calvindisroe4572]

For sure

[@Nathan-hs2ut]

Facts!

[@grex1242]

You obviously don't have much of a life.

[@SuperPhilipT]

Bill is one of the best.

[@maryconn1]

*Bill is the best!

[@sidney.a.turner659]

@TIME TRAVEL p

[@theafrican3752]

He is the best.

[@tomcurless1733]

I think he speaks truth

[@AndreasBelivanakis]

"...paused to pray, instead of following emergency procedures as his plane was crashing. Yes, as the plane started to down down, the muslim captain's first response was to call on Allah and Mohammed, two names that aren't exactly associated with air safety." Priceless.

[@Birdtendo]

Can't believe I studied Tunisia in grade 3

[@mathieuL2204]

Such a funny, likable dude. My favorite comedian by a wide margin!

[@robertcavalier6133]

Bill is SPOT ON! Bless this man! Thankfully -- someone behind a microphone actually thinks! * Cav *

[@timkeenan7419]

Loved it. Great video to watch with my morning coffee

[@recusantbile9829]

It's cool they show the guests reacting to the new rules.

[@baashi3578]

"Mostly Bill Maher clips" that is what you call a channel... unique stuff man

[@ScottSmith-ln7he]

The titles are the funniest parts!!!!

[@donaldcook2484]

Bills the best!! Nobody since Carlin.. both r in a league by themselves.

[@bluebruising]

Carlin would eat bill alive

[@abhishekkhandkar]

The eat pray love joke physically hurt me 🤣

[@TheKrazysexykool]

My favorite Bill Maher joke of all time

[@hanumantjoshi]

one of the few real comedians left out there...

[@millerforester3184]

pun intended?

[@stephh4495]

3:23 "All the current Pope does is not see anything" Heh, not-see. I see what you did there, Bill.

[@kenbaker-ps6ej]

Got it. Good one.

[@hoffer54]

Great compilation! Definitely a funny one, thanks for posting!

[@cheapconstructioncc1675]

The most savage burn (your baby looks like biggy smalls) 😂😂😂😂😂

[@saggitarius6155]

Wanted to put a Like, and discovered it was already there. I may have watched this several times! You can never get tired of Bill's jokes! 🤣🤣🤣

[@democlips1]

The captions underneath every “new rule” are pure gold!

[@bicyclist2]

Now That was funny! Thank you.

[@karenmoore5831]

Thank you Bill for your amazing Comedy Relief! You never disappoint! I have watch you through your whole career! IMHO, you are one of the BEST!

[@ewdenver1]

Thank you Bill , we need your intelligence and humor ❤

[@Declan_Moriarty]

2nd shooter !? Bill stop it! LOL

[@vickilawrence7207]

I loved the ammo sexual!

[@rebbeshort]

Thank you for being honest in the description of what this video is. Kind of refreshing considering what normally goes on here on KZbin. I don't mind regurgitated shit, as long as you label it correctly.

[@catalinasimmons6314]

Reb Short fuck off

[@rebbeshort]

Really? That's as good as you got? And what the fuck are you on about, anyway?

[@TheDaveIAmm]

Reb Short catalina is the one who prays to god Will

[@catalinasimmons6314]

Dicks,I'm an atheist

[@tacoheadmakenzie9311]

No, I'm an atheist. You're a dick.

[@bachblues2]

Hahahaha! Bill doesn't sleep trying to figure out these hilarious verbal pranks at machine gun speed.

[@sharifnur124]

I'm Muslim and that was very funny joke

[@AhmedEtman79]

Good to see a Muslim with a good sense of humor. :)

[@taylor7077]

Me too it's funny and sad that what we have become really

[@dex7145]

@yujil da Racist as always.

[@IRosamelia]

You aren't a very good muslim in the traditional sense of the word 🕌

[@dex7145]

Surfer Rosa What am I supposed to call him then?

[@blackprince4074]

!.38 the look on Michaels face is priceless, Mmmmm white flight or just jealousy.

[@felixroman9007]

Great stuff

[@yolamontalvan9502]

@6:13 Why did you remove the Trump Joke? They are the best ones. Don’t remove them. Trump has made comedy great again.

[@NotDuncan]

@Charisma 101 darwinists and evolutionists? What are you talking about?

[@miadelavier4315]

You’re kids will die because of trump one day. I wanna see if you laugh then.

[@wayneurquhart1967]

@@miadelavier4315 How did you look into the future Mia?

[@billschipper1718]

another great video. lol 😂

[@phoebegraveyard7225]

You know what we call motorcyclists who don’t wear helmets? Organ Donor.

[@Ericwvb2]

What do you call the high performance motorcycles sold to reckless young men who end up crashing? Donorcycles.

[@jcarry5214]

If hep c is your thing, at least where I grew up.

[@tehutibrim594]

Biker Boyz

[@koolkitties8552]

Thats an old one

[@malcolmjohnston3227]

Many years ago we hired a young engineer that was still riding his college motorcycle... but now in Los Angeles (Mexican for "City of Angel-dust") I told him it was too dangerous (FOR A WHILE AT UCLA I RELUCTANTLY HAD TO). He told me he was saving up for a car so the motorcycle was temporary. Looking back I wish I'd helped him find a good car and lent him the money (I wasn't rich either but I knew how to buy a good cheap car and should have suggested that as an interim so he'd be able to take his time and save up for a really nice car; ie. keep him safe while convincing him, as I had OTHERs, to SAVE UP FOR FIRST HOUSE BEFORE ALL THE OTHER 'STUFF'). I CONVINCED SEVERAL TO DO THIS AND NOW THEY HAVE THE HOUSE AND THE CLASSIC CAR -ANOTHER SUGGESTION... DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON DEPRECIATING ASSETS, APPRECIATING ASSETS ARE HOUSES, COLLECTIBLE CARS, AND definitely NOT BIT COINS (like tulips-1700s Holland)!!

[@judylittle1138]

Oh i loved it !!!

[@donadeavera9608]

Totally hysterical. Funniest I ever seen you do.

[@saundrawells2603]

As a lifetime Bill Maher admirer, this compilation of "funnies" are not representative of why I watch his broadcasts. Great guests, guest panel discussions-comments-particularly political ones. Thankyou Bill Maher and " 'Company"!

[@yoitsAndy1]

LOL! Excellent!

[@tubewatcher38]

Strong finish.

[@carleahull]

Thanks. Ï am watching tennis from now on.

[@johnchristiansen9095]

My Dew’s slogan used to be “It’ll tickle your innards”! lol!

[@ralphgizzip4408]

Eiffel Glower -> Chewbacca is dangerous when angered.

[@jacobzaranyika9334]

Totally up to you

[@snorton6138]

Hot Dog eating contest + fireworks = Universal Healthcare

[@joshlobsenz7252]

"Allah and Mohammad, two names that aren't exactly associated with air safety"

[@robertdavis4192]

oh that's not politically correct, for shame

[@muhammadnazir6881]

It was so good I ain't even mad.

[@ladyvincenza]

You are awesome:)

[@fatimatuzzahra4036]

yeah, cz innocent ppl praying o these names get bombed and killed anyway

[@randalldavis3251]

It WazWaz a joke. Get it?

[@swinde]

The loudest Grunt-fest in a tennis match I can remember was Maria Sharapova vs Victoria Azarenka several years ago. A local talk radio FM station Played the audio from the match. It sounded viciously erotic, especially if you weren't informed that it was from a tennis match. Both of these girls are loud screamers.

[@ronaldpetrin5823]

Lets get it on You Tube. lol.

[@shawndavis8111]

ya'll r wild lol

[@anton1949]

Shsssh I'm almost there.

[@leondarcy7367]

@Charisma 101 Also, there's no evidence that you went to school... It's collusion.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

In your dreams

[@tracer740]

... I had to come up for air. Thank goodness for the pause control!

[@181cameron]

Ends on several good notes.

[@eiwindiversen4431]

Brilliant!

[@TheVivianable]

Yeap, pretty well done! Thanks

[@heartwisdomlove]

OMG THE BEST MOST HILARIOUS FUNNY !!!

[@ja3482]

6:58 "Oh, well..." lol

[@SvenTviking]

Grape. THE most artificial flavour known to man. Tastes like a huge petrochemical plant.

[@KingHoborg]

Maybe it's "Do not doubt, our god will [doubt for us]"?

[@darbyzworld]

I don't speak stupid....what does that mean?

[@JDines]

I suspect one of the words is missing an apostrophe followed by the letter S.

[@tyrannosaurusburke]

1:31 I've seen this picture before. Can someone please explain it to me?

[@blamtasticful]

Oh my god when I scrolled down to the comments while listening I realized Maher sounds exactly like an angry Tom Bergeron.

[@Suite_annamite]

@6:06: Wow, it's currently *March 14th* as I'm randomly watching this!

[@olivierdamiron7279]

Genius!!!! Maher for President damn it!

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

The second shooter joke hahahahaha damn

[@mahatmacote6478]

All I can say is; Aaaahahahahaaa! (Thanks)

[@jassange2921]

Das coot. Best maher ever. I dont always like him or agree but when he s got a good one he s got one

[@pranafoods1]

Comedians save lives.

[@paxwallacejazz]

In Will we trust

[@Tmanaz480]

But we are saved by Grace. :-)

[@drlee2]

paxwallacejazz That was the funniest bit.

[@lorenanders702]

@@Tmanaz480 yea, she sure is amazing! 😜

[@williamellis-xd1rm]

DAS COOT! IM DYING HERE! LMAO!

[@Ericwvb2]

I think the sign is supposed to read "Do not doubt our God's will" but they ran out of space ... This reminds me of the movie "Idiocracy." The hospital is called "St. God Memorial Hospital" but they ran out of space so the last few letters are vertical on the building.

[@KingdomKalifornia]

I think it was supposed to be "Do not doubt our God, Do not doubt our will", but who the hell knows

[@lifesgreat9951]

Why was the 'new rule' concerning Mark Zuckerberg chopped out 9:53?

[@olivia-jtrans5693]

to protect a jew ?

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Calm down Olivia

[@johnmoore3930]

makes me wonder why I used to like Bill when he was on tv

[@stargazer1359]

Sorry, I don't speak Bumpkin

[@meridamerkley9964]

Star Gazer)

[@thomasgordin5522]

the under in their name bill

[@Mevenda1]

The Sharapova one had me rolling

[@richardkuda321]

Very nice. So funny .

[@louielouie22]

The last one hahahahaha!!!

[@marvincool3744]

That was so Bill.

[@burningknight7]

He really went there XD

[@cecilbarnard1203]

@@burningknight7 h

[@radamson1]

That was ten minutes I will bever get back!

[@lindagrizlby9708]

Sounds like Bill Maher is back! LOL

[@Pinkielover]

always makes me laugh

[@jasonbourney3869]

i feel pity for people in the comment section saying Allah doesn't exit but believe Jesus died for them lol

[@ruthie_rosario]

Joke is on those people because neither exist! 😹

[@JoannaWagnerClaireSangre]

Sick joke among the organ transplant community. If you want to find a donor faster, move to Florida; no helmet laws.

[@suzclayton783]

Donorcycles

[@krisg3984]

Watched : for “That Look that will go down in history “ha😅

[@KicaDaniel-pl1fn]

That Joseph Kony is my clan mate 😂😂

[@voltar99]

Is there a laugh track mixed in there? Certainly sounds like it.

[@trentsolo1883]

Lmaoooo the first one haha

[@alienhivemind7121]

Good vid. Heres ur like. Now lemme go to sleep

JohnCook Australia. Beware the ides of March. Watch out Trump they're coming for you !

[@chrisg3258]

Wtf is the deal with the head of the guy at 4:42 ? It's massive! 😮 Maybe 3 stiff neat gins is enough for me. 😆

[@okiepita50t-town28]

That shit is hilarious man.

[@raquelalban8043]

james crawfordn

[@adam_p99]

The 2nd shooter comment was great.

[@WildwoodClaire1]

Norovirus is something one ingests after someone who wiped their ass with their bare hand handles your food.

[@independentsistah]

I can't stand Bill Maher but I have to admit he's funny at!😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@TheNefastor]

Those loud tenniswomen sure know their audience !

[@BPDHANA]

Allah and Mohammad, two names that aren't exactly associated with air safety... LOL!! I'm dying.. that isn't just super funny but also unapologetic

[@dylanhaugen3739]

BP bill gives wary never shit, so you can't really call him biased or hateful, unless that he hates everyone.

[@BPDHANA]

Hahah..so true! the perfect word to correctly describe him is "badass" :D

[@kylestubbs8867]

Can someone explain that to me?

[@tacoheadmakenzie9311]

We could, but we're not going to...but thanks for asking.

[@kylestubbs8867]

@@tacoheadmakenzie9311 Never mind. I'll stick to my original hunch.

[@tomgardner8825]

where are you taki g that dump to?

[@cindystoon8396]

Pretty good

[@raleighmorrisville4011]

FOOTBALL JERKOFF NAP LOL

[@hannuala-olla4302]

Do not doubt because God will(doubt).

[@ShortFuseFighting]

oh how i miss the tea-party days. we thought things could never get any worse...oh how wrong we were....

[@bswogger4656]

Bill refusing medical treatment is one way Arizona health department get their business. Most are not disabled but targets by abusers for easy sales & stealing drugs.

[@markvietti]

wish he would do a segment on Monsanto and round up in are food

[@ricaard]

Can Newt run? 😂

[@joryjones6808]

ricaard no he’s too out of shape.

[@chaseberwick7801]

Tennis suddenly seems very interesting.

[@leondarcy7367]

5:58 that's low. Half of Google staff is offended.

[@starweavernation]

Once Upon A Secret: I'm a Black person who drinks Mountain Dew! 😅😂🤣😮🥤

[@dougboggio7098]

Jeez, that picture of the pope makes him look so evil...........

[@rattusnorvegicus4380]

They generally are, goes with the territory/history, apart from The Smiling Pope, but hey they murdered him because he was planning on giving all the Vatican`s vast wealth to the poor.

[@margueritehudsell4454]

Did I ever tell you about the time the ski patrol saved my life? What about that time the Coast Guard saved my life?

[@margueritehudsell4454]

I had just finished my first run on the bunny slope, an hour later, I found myself on a Black Diamond slope. Hit a Mogul and broke my neck.