Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - Episode 05 - Scotch Mist

Episode 05 : A Scottish mist descends on Darkplace and Dagless has to act fast to prevent all the English people in the hospital from grave danger.
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is a British dark comedy show made for Channel 4 by Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade. Darkplace is presented as a lost classic: a television series produced in the 1980s, though never broadcast at the time. The show parodies numerous aspects of '80s low-budget television, including fashion, special effects, production gaffs, and music.
No copyright infringement intended. All copyright remains under Channel 4. I do not own this show at all. This is the wonderful work of writers and creators Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade.

[@ZackSmith8]

This episode helped me overcome my racism towards highlanders (Scotch people) and also taught me a valuable lesson about batteries. Bless you, Garth Marenghi!

[@GabePuratekuta]

What about the Scottish?

[@TheWaynos73]

Offer them shortbread

[@000xyz]

Not all scotts are highlanders. Some are lowlanders, and some are speys...naturally i'd keep my dog away from the latter....

[@lizb4234]

As a Scot I do enjoy drinking scotch.

[@mickeyshooter5298]

@serdownofhousebad1127is this a joke, or is it an epithet of some sort? I’m confused as to the difference twixt a Scotch and a Scottish

[@QBG]

"My aunt lives in Scotland... she says it's nice." "Well she's WRONG."

[@shabegsingh1843]

hahaha best line...especially with the pause after the horror story about Glasgow

[@danbanks7930]

Sarcastic comedy...ehh....eghh

[@stephengrahn9361]

The best line

[@TheWaynos73]

Rick is such a troll

[@GBCZach]

"I'm coming with you." "No you're not, Sanch." "Fair enough."

[@Dowlphin]

A more risky way of saying: "I'd really love to accompany you, but I just don't wanna."

[@SomeDumbKid1]

I think buying cheap batteries is the only flaw they give Dagless.

[@TheWaynos73]

that and hes prone to unprofessional behaviour in regards to adopting one eyed mutant eyeball rape victim babies

[@himethisisme]

@@frankmcgovern2688 (the Yellow Sign being the yellow Walmart "rollback" tag on a 50-pack of cheap batteries)

[@danbanks7930]

He hates being swetty...to.😅😊

[@pazz]

7:06 So, you’re telling me, every episode so far has taken place within a week or two? Even last episode? In which a month passed. Genius writing. Garth Marenghi is a visionary/dream weaver.

[@orriHirro]

plus actor

[@1funeral2many9]

That’s cuz the monkey water episode takes place before the first episode where he opened the gates to hell. (It’s implied)

[@JJvideoman]

@@1funeral2many9 considering episode 1 is when Liz first arrived, no, you're trying to make a joke show be logical lol

[@ophidahlia1464]

The world just wasn't ready for it way back in the 80's, and a show like this could never be made today.

[@SorowFame]

@@1funeral2many9 the first episode must be the first chronologically because it’s when Liz first joins the hospital and the gates of hell opening are implied to be the reason for a lot of the weirdness in later episodes going by Dagless’s statements at the end of that episode

[@kev3d]

"It looked like I was going to have to spend the night in Glasgow." "Jesus Christ."

[@jamestinsley3110]

That line had me spew a beer I was drinking as I watched😂

[@-0rbital-]

Best line.

[@timcollins7108]

"Look, it's Jim! He's been struck by the mist, though he's still alive, unbelievable as that seeems." The writing is on point but what really makes this show is the delivery.

[@TheWaynos73]

Look - their faces are patterned!

[@mickeyshooter5298]

@@TheWaynos73good work Liz

[@TheRPGenius]

This show is pretty much the most brilliant satire/parody ever created. Can't stop cracking up with every scene.

[@ianmclellan3755]

Perfectly said

[@phdtobe]

What are you talking about? This is a documentary of a British-produced TV show that aired in Peru in the 80s.

[@rvfiasco]

Abso-fucking-lutely

[@orgoniteyahgoniteaustralia6888]

Trying to remember when I've laughed so much at any show, don't think I have.

[@simonsimon325]

Received Pronunciation or Retinitis Pigmentosa?

[@Pivitrix]

I love how they only put on subs for the scotsmen.. just every scene in this is packed with gold.

[@Dowlphin]

It is so easy to miss some of them, I'd call this an easeregg show. This one reminds me of another comedy skit - Iraqi subtitles: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oGHQZaWZrZWinJY

[@ToyboatToyboat]

"Nina's eyes popped out of what was left of her back. Why, oh why, had she opened that tomb? The sand turned red (this was because she was bleeding on it). Blood. Ruby red blood. HER blood. Blood... And piss and shit. This was the worst day of her life."

[@lazyhomebody1356]

@Max William Lauf An important moral lesson, contained in the brilliantly titled "Crab"

[@ToxicCityOfficial]

best intro of the series

[@billfred9411]

I like how the only part that sounds half decent is "The sand turned red" Then he just ruins that right away by clearly explaining its her blood. He just had to clarify that because he probably knows the people buying his books are not very smart.

[@seblasian]

I love the effort they put into every shitty detail.. like when you hear footsteps at 8:17 and they're clearly standing behind the door. lol

[@lorenzocampici7885]

Like when Liz types on the computer but her hands are still but there's a loud clacking on the keyboard

[@mister_mozzarella]

Or even 6:08 where the audio cuts on the crows cawing

[@flores5420]

Or at 14:47 where Sanchez says his lines way too early

[@chinchilla415]

@@mister_mozzarella Lol, I've been a fan of this series for so long. But that's something I never noticed first. Thanks.

[@Dowlphin]

And it is hard to tell whether it was meant to portray a directing messup or them pretending to walk away because they wanted to listen in.

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

I love how Garth's books include Slicer, Slasher, R.I.P.P.E.R., and Slicer IV. Like, he wrote the first one, then wrote two other books that were so clearly derivative of the first one that he decided it was all connected for the fourth one.

[@artcamp7]

damn I missed this joke. He couldn't think of any more synonyms for slice! Thats why this show is so rewatchable

[@MrPlannery]

Very nice spot. So many details...

[@johnbeardshall2898]

Remember the great haggis westerns of the 60's 70s like A fist full of whiskey and, for a few schillings more or the classic ,they call me a cheap bastard

[@demonDUCKisHUNGRY]

"Was it Rick? Was it this hospital? Or was it both?" "... Or all three?" Hahaha!!! So classic.

[@kylewindsor199]

I quote "or all three?" in my head everytime a piece of media does this.

[@ChronoKatie]

Rick's monologue making the "foggy" pun and then him in real-time laughing while driving his car is so brilliant in how little it makes sense.

[@Louis-wp3fq]

Every time I watch this show I notice something else absurd they slipped in 😂

[@ctdaniels7049]

He just like me for real

[@yellowblanka6058]

And punching the three random keys giving him a turbo boost, lol.

[@SuperNintendawg]

And then, he repeats the joke in the next scene, followed by an explanation of the previous one, committing like 5 writing blunders in a row. Brilliant.

[@chriss4855]

"Well I'll be dead and rained on, ever since Dag reopened the gates of hell last week there's been a glass of fresh terror on the wing."............................but Rick was knocked unconscious for a month last episode!!! This is the first inconsistency I've seen in this show, they've done a good job.

[@TrashGoblin824]

Chris S Or maybe Marenghi played the episodes out of order

[@foof811]

+Chris S There's an episode unaccounted for when he reopens it, because in the first episode, he closes the gates of hell when he burns his old friend with a flamethrower after he reanimates during his funeral.

[@chanelevoncartiere4347]

you don't think that was deliberate? have you seen episode 1 where Liz bends to pat a cat which is only then tossed through the door? or in the funeral in ep 1 the shots go from Dean Lerner firing the shotgun (in frame by himself) then cuts to Dean standing right next to Dagless, who is also shooting, and Dean clearly isn't shooting or even holding a gun. A deliberate lack of continuity.

[@chr1s415]

Chanele von Cartiere plus if I remember correctly Liz gets a lobotomy to get her powers removed but she has then the next episode lol

[@keepinmahprivacy9754]

Actually the lobotomy was just to remove her spontaneously manifested psychokinetic powers. They probably left her previous psychic powers intact.

[@Doperwtje81]

I tried showing this to a Scottish person but Channel4 has this blocked in her region. Probably for the best since it may have turned her into fog.

[@MrmorpheuZ]

Missed opportunity for "I haven't the foggiest idea why" 😅

[@simonsimon325]

You mean a Scotch person. Calling them Scottish is ignorant and offensive.

[@grimreminder5038]

​@@simonsimon325 aye, as it implies they're only a little Scotch

[@Crowley9]

I love how in the beginning POV shot Learner/Reed tries very awkwardly to look busy, and then glances at the camera.

[@chr1s415]

Crowley9 I think it was deliberately because when Liz is typing in the computer she doesn't type at all lol besides he's the "non actor" of the show remember lol

[@b0lkan]

Richard Ayoade is the best at acting poorly.

[@MACMETALFACE]

I like cheese

[@geensloth911]

It wasn’t an act, it was the truth.

[@jackweiss5480]

You mean Dean Learner?

[@cooliostarstache5474]

Put your trousers on

[@theoriginalvideo-schmideoc905]

A true talent...less.

[@jaypee9575]

Wow, this was a really scary one. I'm watching this at night and keep turning around expecting to find a Scotsman behind me. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.

[@ToxicCityOfficial]

*Scotch Person

[@Sorin2120]

I actually laughed until I cried. Thanks.

[@PALACIO254]

The scotch aren't real. Right?

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

@@PALACIO254 (pats shoulder) No, Scotland isn't real. *cut to:* shot of bloody bagpipes hidden behind his back

[@jackhames3874]

@@PALACIO254no, they’re just a dark force straight from the twisted mind of Garth Marenghi

[@dermathze700]

I think the scene with the Scotsmen proves that the right music can make any scene epic. Especially if the music is based on melodies whistled by Garth Marenghi, and the scene is written by Garth Marenghi, and Garth Marenghi is in actor in that scene.

[@sylph8005]

And directed by Garth Merrenghi

[@KarstensCreationsKC]

"You're...BOTH...right. It...IS...retreating." ...Almost Shatneresque,.

[@IrishAndroid]

"It looked like I was gonna have to spend a night in Glasgow." "..Jesus Christ." Chills. I had to turn the lights on and take a breather.

[@TheAndrewj96]

God, the way Thornton glances at the camera in the opening scene had me rolling.

[@MisterBones223]

Dude, the scene where the Scots move through the mist scared the fuck out of me as a kid. I saw only the scene where they were moving so creepily. I remember specifically knowing it was a comedy show, but I saw them move with that weird way and I stayed up all night terrified. I finally found the show.

[@jackhames3874]

I had almost the exact same experience except I was too young to tell it was a comedy. Shit scarred me, I thought the whole show was a fever dream 😂

[@Andreas-hp3se]

"A shatter of glass, a round of applause" I'm dying

[@bloodnchocolate]

I'd like to believe that in 2021 we live in a world where if an Englishman and a Scotsman met - or vice-versa - 60-40% they're going to get along. That might just be a better world than what Garth Marenghi left us.

[@KikoBarahona]

This is the episode that got the whole referendum ball rolling.

[@chanelevoncartiere4347]

really? like the Scots/English, Welsh/English, Irish/English feuds haven't been going on forever? Go take a look at Monty Python and the Holy Grail where Eric Idle's character turns to Tim the Enchanter (basically John Cleese as a Merlin-type character) and says "You manky Scots git." This isn't exactly a new thing.

[@KikoBarahona]

True, but the ginger hair epidemic really is a new thing, and needs to be addressed. Good thing Dr. Dagless is on the case!

[@domchin8811]

I don't think KikoBarahona was being entirely serious.

[@Mr00dear]

KikoBarahona that is brilliant hahaha

[@muimotion]

"I'm coming with you Dag! "No you're not..." "Fair enough" XD

[@afdcomposer]

I thought I had watched all of dark place years ago but somehow I missed this episode. I’ll never buy cheap, possibly stolen batteries again.

[@ChrisARossi]

"The Mist of mist-understanding" Fucking amazing writing

[@Poet_Lorien]

"You are a true highlander (Scotch Person)"

[@Disconnis]

"Sometimes you have to be a bigot to bring down bigger bigots." Lol

[@jamestinsley3110]

Max William Lauf that's what she said.

[@foro6102]

One of many great lines in this episode, so good! 😆

[@gidofter_lukge]

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[@paulgrossi60]

Thank GOD for KZbin , I would never have seen these superb comediennes. We are seeing Matt nowadays but the U.S. could use the other three as well.

[@StarforceOnAir]

This quote has no business having aged this well.

[@stevencoates3382]

"I did a stupid thing that night in Glasgow. I went into a chip shop and I ordered a cheeseburger." "But that could've happened to anyone, don't beat yourself up about it." I LOVE LOVE LOVE British humour!!! Cheers from Australia 🤠👍🦘

[@mickeyshooter5298]

WAIT THORNTON THATS NOT ULL

[@stochinblockin]

"Listen to me. I. Am not. Prejudice, alright, that's what I am saying. I am not prejudice. But Joe public is. You probable are, you look like a dropout. Point being, I wrote this to heal Britain."

[@andrewjohnson8508]

*prejudiced

[@khankhomrad8855]

10:45

[@samwallaceart288]

I live for Reed Thornton banging on his desk in anger.

[@FourOf92000]

6:29 Liz, a woman, contributes to the investigation Garth Marenghi is the most progressive author in history

[@TheWaynos73]

he will work with them.

[@ronchang9791]

"The glass ceiling is now a glass floor, the woman are floating above it and the men are just looking up at them" -Douglas Reynholm

[@TheLedZeppelinFan1]

I love how they use the Halloween theme changed enough so there isn't any copy right issue. This show is hilarious.

[@leemullen433]

"What about the hair!?!" "It'all groo oot!"

[@krissuyx]

"Och, It'all groo oot!"*

[@MatthiasProspero]

10:02 "If you act like a cheap arsehole, expect the sheetiest portion." Brilliant. 😄

[@contactdavidfair]

11:20 to 13:00 contains the best writing in this show and some of the funniest scripting ever delivered.. Genius. "I'm not never going back. Not never."

[@shmickmik]

God i love this show. This ep is pretty much a homage to John Carpenter with the Halloween references and the whole story about monsters/zombies coming straight from his movie "The Fog".

[@spencerraney4979]

I was reminded of some the Tom Baker stories from Doctor Who, such as the Stones of Blood, and some of the shots, like the vision of Jim or the stills of the Scots on the moor, reminded of some Star Trek episodes, most notably the now nearly fifty year old Catspaw.

[@toweypat]

Oh yeah, you're right. Listen to that music in the opening scene, it's like "Hallowwen."

[@ctdaniels7049]

What about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly-style standoff? :P

[@choptop81]

i love the Halloween theme ripoff at the beginning

[@picarochi]

You're mistaken. It is clearly based off a tune whistled by Garth Marenghi.

[@dupersuper1938]

I was surprised how good the Knight Rider theme sounds on bagpipes...

[@cureme07]

i absolutely enjoy richard ayoade's acting in darkplace!

[@ZachtheUnicorn]

I love the confrontation scene. Reminds me so much of the spaghetti westerns.

[@lord_insany]

the good the bad and the ugly final duel - by sergio leone

[@kristiantoimil]

"I'm a big fan of the Scottish people; I love Lulu and if 'Taggart''s on, I'll tape it"

[@DougBongos]

This is easily my favorite episode of the series. The extremely overt prejudice and stereotypes, the John Carpenter references, but my favorite bit is the confrontation. That musical riff is one of my favorite things, I’ll come back and listen to just that sometimes

[@declanwayne2334]

The piano score during the stand off is actually quite beautiful!

[@nakenmil]

A bit late of a response, but that thought struck me as well. I went to look up the composes, and turns out that it's actually a BAFTA-winning composer. Makes sense that he knows how to stylistically imitate 80s movie/tv-scores so well.

[@visualwarp9707]

Declan Wayne agreed. The music from this show is good stuff. I think this particular segment is an homage to the track "The Trio" from the soundtrack for "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"

[@TomLittle1981]

@@visualwarp9707 definitely an homage to the iconic standoffs in Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns and their equally iconic Ennio Morricone scores. You can even see that Rick Dagless is wearing cowboy boots as he walks out of Thornton's office @ 17:10 to confront the Scotch warriors. And again as he steps into the clearing @ 17:22 - 17:26.

[@811chelseafc]

I love how Dean Learner is subtly hinted at to be a complete psychopath.

[@gpan62]

"The most is retreating. You're right. You're both right" Dagsplaining

[@fatality2k]

"My aunt lives in Scotland, she says its quite nice." "Well she's wrong." xD

[@jamestinsley3110]

Valice's Vids this episode should be required viewing for anyone visiting Scotland.

[@TheBrianFellow]

your aunt is quite naff!

[@jesseslack2089]

22:34 "As Rosey finger dawn cupped Romford in it's hands and thumbed open the new days crack" lol that line is just so fucking funny!!

[@PotholesInMyLawn]

Love how Dag keeps his belt buckle even though the mist has sacked him for his trousers...

[@NameNotAlreadyTaken2]

those book covers are hilarious

[@AgentXPQ]

That part from 11:51 to 11:59. I laughed myself sick.

[@jamestinsley3110]

AgentXPQ maybe the greatest tv comedy ever made. Period.

[@AbedIsBatman]

"Jesus Christ" had me crying

[@kaylinrajah3595]

This show is worth watching multiple times, and though it's a parody/satire, the music is f*** phenomenal

[@olekycolonel]

Im wondering if the clunky dialogue is based on Dragnet. The characters in Dragnet had this bizarre way of talking where one person would start talking immediately after another had finished. It was like every actor was just waiting to spit out their lines...unintentionally hilarious. But this show is brilliant.

[@vegetasolo1221]

This show along with mighty boosh are purely awesome

[@hillaryclintonsracistkaras1720]

*_Garth Merenghi's Dark Place_** is amazing - but The Mighty Boosh is horrible and annoying.*

[@neithere]

@@hillaryclintonsracistkaras1720 go away.

[@bassgoer]

It seems Garth watched „Halloween“ and „the Good, the bad and the ugly“ before whistling to his composer this episode.

[@GeeVanderplas]

And Europe too it seems...

[@Palmieres]

Garth seriously needs to start a writing/acting/directing school for people like Neil Breen. He's the true passion project original and knows his shit.

[@ZhuDaoLong]

Looking at a Neil Breen film I'd say he graduated cum laude, or is actually Garth Marenghi's manifestation in our universe

[@chinchilla415]

I love RLM take on that video course. How Been talks about setting up shots, while his damn crotch is clearly centered.

[@nthwkblk5935]

"One moment while I cross fertilize the data" - Liz types but the sound doesn't match her finger movements.

[@sleepCircle]

*sound of furious typing as liz slowly presses the S key*

[@TheBrianFellow]

how could you tell!

[@blairsmith3199]

I've watched this an unhealthy amount of times. I can't get enough. I wish this show had another 5 seasons

[@RiptornThrasher]

Well the thing about Darkplace is that it was a real turning point for me as a writer, because up until that point I had been writing balls to the wall horror. For this I wanted them to kind of go "OOUGH"... I think that's one of the great strengths of the program, is that it managed to bridge that gap between "AAHHHH" and "OOUGH" quite well.

[@darkongreyjoy1697]

I beg your pudding?

[@Gh0stRider00]

Nooo thts not my bag

[@mnumumnumu2646]

That's a phrase I've used a time or two. In my lifetime, probably, quite a bit more.Mmmm, short bread!

[@svenleeuwen]

It's amazing how much Dean Learner looks like a young Richard Ayoade!

[@erikferguson6313]

This show is hysterical. I regret not watching it a long time ago.

[@ReconTiger]

Does anyone have any tips on how to watch this without getting scared? I really want to finish the series but I keep having to pause and take a minute to calm down, its way too tense. The scene where Dagless gets attacked by the bagpipes gave me a nightmare and I don't think I can finish the ep :(

[@ronchang9791]

you have to pretend that you're Scottish, if you are not already so.

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

I've taken to watching with a friend and having them slap me when I shut my eyes. They do on occasion slap me when I'm just blinking, but it's worth it.

[@JohanKylander]

Hysterical women. ☕

[@Musically_Declined]

That animation with the 4 gives me nostalgia even though I’ve never seen it before watching this

[@citizenoftheall]

I want 1000 episodes of this show.

[@batastrophic9762]

This show has plotlines so watchable, I think I enjoy it more pretending it's not full of shit than a mockumentary. I would totally watch a real (ableibt-tongue-in-cheek) storyline involving malevolent ghostly Scots. Also I'm loving the use of bagpipe music, but in particular, that whole bit 17.21 onwards that channels Ennio Morricone is just 10/10 sooo good

[@ethanlivemere1162]

It reminds me (for obvious reasons) of the Monty Python's Flying Circus episode "You're No Fun Anymore", which, quite atypically, is mostly just one sketch with a continuous story: the Science Fiction sketch, in which aliens turn people into Scotsmen in an attempt to win Wimbledon. Ridiculous, but low key a really catchy plot.

[@animuj6985]

"This is Cinema" - Martin Scorsese

[@aptspire]

17:30 The Good, The Bag(pipes) and The Scotch

[@shazledazzle]

"My aunt lives in Scotland, she says it's quite nice." "She's wrong."

[@blexxter9332]

Thank God they added subtitles for the Scots. Couldn't understand a thing otherwise

[@gearheadred]

I'm Scotch and I do so want sobriety.

[@LostOneOmega]

Cheers! 😀🍻

[@markmurex6559]

I can't read Scotch. SPEAK ENGLISH!

[@sydneyalisonbaker]

“Ever since Garth reopened the gates of Hell last week...”

[@hados8850]

It takes good acting to play an actor who can't act

[@dronessential]

"I don't want to be sitting here this time tomorrow with mist up my crack."

[@abbie5276]

I crack up every time Garth jumps from the exploding ambulance

[@Niobesnuppa]

Oh god, the bagpipe monster. xD

[@SidRandom]

this is my 3rd time watching the series. Love this show

[@iCarb0n]

"point being, I wrote this to heal Britain" lmao

[@ianmclellan3755]

Omg Dag with the light hair I'm dying

[@mortemoccasus2412]

13:02 the sound breakage, stops are so detailed. They parodied literally everything.🤣 14:03 bagpipe monster.

[@madnessbydesign1415]

One of my favorite episodes of one of the most brilliant shows ever. Genius!

[@jimmy_junk]

6:30 I love the subtle nod to Ed Wood, and the music at the beginning which is inspired by 'Halloween', with the sound of heavy breathing. Just like at the beginning of 'Halloween'.

[@nthwkblk5935]

"Then take this...It's my flick knife" LOL

[@danbanks7930]

I watch theses on adult swim when they first hit u.s. tv.... and i re watch them when I need a good laugh here on you tube ... Their that funny...

[@serugolino7867]

wait all the shit in the first 5 episodes happen in a week man this is crazy hospital(but he slept for a focking moth in episode 4) gotta love this show

[@Teelirious]

I don't know why, it's a very minor note in the symphony of Marenghi, but Sanchez's loafers always crack me up.

[@srutibhaumik8798]

"now, i don't like to see anyone die"

[@GetenGeten]

I lost it at 06:52 when Liz types on the computer awkwardly yet the horrible soundbite gives the impression that she's a hacker. And she prints out the darn thing straight frmo the computer. Brilliant.

[@chr1s415]

Mr Animal Liz is my favorite from the show

[@yoursonisold8743]

And her saying she will "cross-fertilize the data" never gets old. It's also the only time they randomly have a computer in that office.

[@kholemcrae1100]

This show breaks the fifth wall

[@theolast9727]

This entire series is written like old Capcom games were localized.

[@mprickles]

I love how he creaks in that leather jacket!

[@lll-bm1cp]

"I'd play anything : a nazi... I don't think I'd ever kiss another man."

[@MacDagger187]

the rosy-fingered dawn is straight up Homer.

[@progrocker666]

15:48 - Is it just me, or does the name "Dagless" sound like Douglas with a Sottish accent? Even on that tape playback it seems that way. Was such a name intentionally made to sound like that, like Dag is hiding something - like actually being from Scotland?

[@videowilliams]

Dean Learner. Best phone actor in the business (15:17).

[@AgentMidnight]

The Scottish subtitles killed me