Billy Connolly - Toblerone - Live 1994

[@ConstantlyDamaged]

Have you ever wondered what that saw-toothed blade on the Swiss Army Knives is for? It's for cutting the fucking Toblerone.

[@wilfvissenga5445]

😂😂😂

[@neenekinskins6241]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍

[@jasoncolquhoun35]

Brilliant🤣🤣🤣

[@mgthestrange9098]

It’s a conspiracy! First they get you hooked on the goods then they sell you the paraphernalia to dealwith it.

[@sharonshearouse5611]

🙃🙂👍

[@Declan_ChristoTube_VA]

Billy Connolly is the prescription everyone needs to brighten their day 🙌

[@aileensmith6806]

Exactly !

[@johnandrade3773]

I concur

[@elizabethalexandria6180]

Absolutely!

[@irbennett]

I prefer a cup of tea meself.

[@ellivisionbytheartistandre6467]

Unfortunately these woke people probably wouldn't agree cos they can't take a f*****g joke as our Billy would say

[@TexasLadyS]

Watching Billy laugh at his own jokes is half the fun! There has never been, and there will never be, a funnier comedian than Billy Connolly. Legendary!!

[@irbennett]

Too late.

[@ja-ks8dh]

You cannot teach this, replicate this or come close to this. This is pure talent.

[@GarryAndrews_]

Dictionary meaning for “story teller”. Brilliant man who’s added much to our history.

[@graemewatson1106]

I’ve watched this clip 1000s of times & it never fails to make me 😂 cheers Billy you’re a legend I loved you when I was younger nothings changed

[@grahamlaidlaw7164]

7.01 oh fuck! gets me every time cos its true

[@graemewatson1106]

@@grahamlaidlaw7164 The bit where someone chucks a coin at Billy & he in return throws a glass of water & says F**k you gets me every time 😂😂

[@st0rmforce]

Only Billy could make a hilarious story out of eating a Toblerone

[@diana6772]

Oh word!!! 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@robanderson473]

Brrrrrrr't Brrrrrrr't Brrrrrrr't 🤣

[@1iananderson]

​@@robanderson473 333333333d333d33333ee33e3333d33333333d3333333333333333de3d3333333vg g gc c 333esss

[@tbone9474]

As a Swiss man, I agree with everything this man has said.

[@sofierdblog]

Apart of the Lederhosen.

[@heinzhagenbucher4714]

@@sofierdblog and the Kuckuckclocks 🤣

[@1515327E]

Before Billy dies, could you please get the Swiss Army to go and do a march-past with Swiss Army knives in front of him. That would be absolutely legendary and a tiny thank you for all the unbridled joy he's brought over the decades.

[@Yorkshiremadmick]

@@1515327E OH that would be Fucking Awesome yooddel

[@2703italia]

Press two peaks together to avoid pain. 😂

[@AmBush-UK]

I took my Glaswegian Dad to that gig It was one of only a few times we spent together, a pint in the Duke of Cornwall round the corner beforehand, we were right near the stage but we were the first in the pub after😂 for a few more Dad was a huge fan of 'The Big Yin' I'll always remember it Thanks Billy Connolly 👍❤

[@billyculbert8167]

Billy, I remember when I was a bit younger in the early 70s a guy gave me a tape of your stuff that he had recorded at one of your really early gigs in Glasgow and my younger brother and I loved it. He was 14 and I was 20 and we shared a bedroom and we would wet ourselves laughing because even though it was only audio, the images that you gave us were priceless, the pictures were amazing. We would listen to that tape every night and it had us in stitches and bonded my brother and I together and through time we bought all your LPs and became life long fans. The sad thing is that my brother married a bird from another galaxy who turned him against me and the rest of our family and I haven’t seen him in over 25 years. When I watch your stuff I always think of my kid brother and it makes me sad that he is no longer a part of my life. You Billy are a very very special person of the highest integrity and superb intelligence who like myself has a built in shit detector and you have given me the greatest of pleasure throughout my life and I put you on the same power as The `Beatles and Steely Dan and The Sopranos and Mohammad ALI which means that you are up there with the Gods. I wish you all the very best Bill and God bless you, or whatever being controls this life may it look after you big man. …..on a different note. I live in Belfast and I saw you one day riding your bike down the Castlereagh road in east Belfast and I shouted at you and you shouted back and for me that was a very special moment in my life, and I have been around a few corners by the way. Look after yourself big lad and keep on doing what you do as long as you can ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@isabelriquelme8744]

Hope your brother is reading this...and one day you will get together once more.

[@billyculbert8167]

@@isabelriquelme8744 …thank you friend ❤️

[@johnsrome8459]

Brilliant, heartfelt words, Sir. Quite a story...That’s a sad state of affairs with your wee brother. I can relate. Alas, nothing is guaranteed with family. One learns that the hard way. Take care of yourself, Billy Culbert.

[@billyculbert8167]

@@johnsrome8459 …thank you my friend, I appreciate you taking the time to reply, it really does mean a lot to me❤️❤️

[@johnsrome8459]

@@billyculbert8167 You're very welcome, my friend. Long may your life story continue, kind Sir. Long live the Big Yin too. ❤️❤️

[@El_Smeghead]

Nice to see you on the Graham Norton show last night. Hope you're well, Billy. Thanks for all the laughs over the last 40-odd years 🙏

[@the195111]

ODD indeed..

[@johnmc3862]

No problem.

[@davidbull7210]

He's been my main prescription for about 30 years or so

[@irbennett]

Bull indeed.

[@wightangel]

The legend that is Billy Connelly.

[@Verschlimmbesserung]

The coin toss at the end was actually very clever.

[@egeerdem8272]

why?

[@lordlucan3706]

It was rigged to get laughs....and everyone laughed.

[@garryb374]

@@egeerdem8272 He was criticising people for getting up and going out for a piss, he said it made him feel like he was basking... so someone in the audience threw a coin onto the stage... like you would if he was basking.

[@irbennett]

@@lordlucan3706 You know this how?

[@irbennett]

@@garryb374 Busking you mean, not lying in the sun.

[@elizabethcanavan2462]

I can never have a toblerone without thinking of Billy :)

[@pauljordan4452]

Even I was scared of hurting myself eating Toblerone as a small boy because it is triangular. Fucking Toblerone!

[@irbennett]

It's impossible to eat a Toblerone with your mouth without doing irreparable damage. You can try with your hands, just hope it hasn't started to melt.

[@georgerunham2896]

I saw this man live two nights in a row. Both totally different yet absolutely brilliant. A true genius

[@robertcook5049]

His entire career and he never wrote down a single joke. Absolute legend

[@irbennett]

@@robertcook5049 He did in the early years.

[@danw1374]

​@irbennett Think he started out as the warm up man, he played songs on his guitar and told jokes but he found his jokes got more of a reaction than the songs he played so he decided to be a stand up comic.

[@tompage6421]

Timeless. People will be laughing at this hundreds of years from now. 🇬🇧

[@irbennett]

A new loony, just what this board needs.

[@johnjones4825]

Living as I have for the last 50 odd years in South Africa, I am fortunate to have been exposed to all types of British accents, and I am well able to understand perfectly what Billy says. (perhaps it is due to my fiery Scottish grandfather passing on the gene memory of accent?) Billy is the only person on earth that can reduce me to a hopelessly weak pile of tears of laughter.....Long may you entertain us, my "brother" Scot!

[@jockmcscottish7569]

No mate, as a fellow Glaswegian, I can tell you he is not talking proper Scottish. If he was, you wouldnt have a clue what he was saying. Trust me, us Scots abroad have to talk like wankers.

[@christinecatt5391]

@@jockmcscottish7569 l know exactly what you mean about having a strong brogue. I was born & raised in Northumberland ...and immigrated to the U.S.A. with a very thick 'Geordie' accent.. However, after close to 60 years l have all but lost my 'twang'.. However, when my family visits...they are quite often mistaken for Germans.. ? 😀😃😄😁😆

[@graemewatson1106]

My biggest regret in life is never seeing this legend live I’m glad I’ve got his DvDs

[@Rayfaedundee]

Sir Billy Connolly, a one off comic genius. No matter how many times I watch your videos/DVD’s they always make me laugh.

[@johnmc3862]

'A bar of chocolate that hurts you' 😂😂😂

[@chaosnexxus9255]

You rarely saw him genuinely angry on stage but that coin toss pissed him right off.

[@michaeldean5787]

Ha, I don't think he was really pissed off. Just gave him a brilliant opportunity to retaliate.

[@omikronweapon]

You think when Billy Connolly is GENUINELY angry, he throws water at you? I can only assume he threw it on the floor. Even if he didn't, it was just for laughs.

[@irbennett]

You quite often saw him angry onstage.

[@irbennett]

I don't think he ws angry at all. He probably threw the water at the wrong person.

[@nicolacarroll3010]

Ever since I can remember I have loved Billy, I've seen everything he's done many, many times.... and still, I'm creased up. Nobody will ever match his comedic talent. Legend xxxx

[@EddieGaster]

Billy knows how to deal with hecklers!

[@1969Kismet]

One swift move and back to the show 🤣👏

[@irbennett]

It wasn't a heckler, it was somebody who threw a coin onstage.

[@paulnicol9995]

6mins 31secs..... When he pours the Glass of water over the heckler. That's how a Scotsman deals with hecklers. ;-)

[@stoopingfalcon891]

Not surprising. He cut his teeth in the Glasgow clubs back in the day, some of the toughest crowds ANYONE had to deal with.

[@TheBobbymcd]

The swiss police actually use toblerone as a baton as well.

[@audioupgrades]

It's true, though. Toblerone even has sticky toffee bits in it that lift your fillings out if you're not careful.

[@helenjeanotterstroem7240]

Oh yes, been there, bit the Toblerone, unclenched my jaw, paid the dentist's bill.

[@j0hnn13K]

This one always cracks me up, for sure one of my (many) favorite Billy stories :D

[@1974neill]

I was in Scotland, I was so disappointed when I seen the Toblerone hadn’t have “Aggressive fucking sweety!” B.C. on wrapper🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DieFlabbergast]

*wrapper (get a grip!)

[@hepburn118]

The alps all being the same size, and in a perfect line, would be an incredibly Swiss/German/Austrian thing to do. Probably just the Italians stopping them getting the chisels out.

[@IsaacAsimov1992]

Absolutely right. When I asked my Swiss wife why she liked Italians she said, “They like to have fun.”

[@jrussell5243]

GOAT. Just the GOAT. End of discussion.

[@irbennett]

Baa.

[@staceyismine]

Outstanding everytime he speaks 👏 🙌

[@Paganwhitewolf]

The ultimate irony: I once almost died due to inhaling the Toblerone I was eating, from laughing so hard to Billy Connolly talking about Toblerones being dangerous

[@nicolacarroll3010]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@irbennett]

Why don't I believe you.

[@laukinath194]

Never seen this clip before; shouldn't've watched it while brushing my teeth - nearly spat toothpaste everywhere! XD

[@antoniosabattini775]

Always loved to watch Billy's World Tours. The funniest man ever.

[@katjakoskelin9692]

Billy is my favourite uncle - what a shame we're not related. 😊

[@ebbhead20]

Guy throws money onto the stage, Billy throws water over him. Bet he didn't expect that 😂

[@TheMikkster]

It was a weak retort. Billy’s forte was never interacting with the crowd, really.

[@ebbhead20]

@@TheMikkster not true, they love him. And he does interact a lot in some tour dvds. The Gay Diver.... Thats a great interaction. 😊. Or the indian holy footpath. Thats an even funnier interaction with the audience come to think of it.. 🤔

[@irbennett]

@@TheMikkster That's bollocks. Billy's forte has always been interacting with the crowd.

[@David_Graf]

I can’t believe he actually did that. Omg

[@deborahwatson5159]

Love You Big Yin, take care and Keep Safe Darling, XX Keep Safe Everyone

[@irbennett]

Ooh darling that's a new one.

[@joelmacinnes2391]

I'm just delighted that I know where potatoes of the night was taken from

[@Yali_]

This has never been more relevant. Mon Scotland!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@barbaraarnzen5181]

He brings a lot of joy to the world! Or at least to me. 😉

[@Albert12893]

Never used any pre wrote jokes.man’s a complete legend.funny as f@@@

[@claybarr9457]

Best heckler shut down of all time

[@irbennett]

What???

[@RobertKetteringham]

Billy is a great comedian i like this kind humour could listen to him alday i wish he was still doing his show 😢 ❤

[@irbennett]

He doesn't.

[@petehowell220]

Still the funniest man ever.

[@genokemp2433]

Billy ,you are my No1 comic of all time(And i'm English ,you couldn't make that shit up🙄 ).I do wish you the best of health mate .Love you ❤️

[@MrKaywyn]

One of the best routines from the Live 1994 video.

[@davidjma7226]

I hired Billy to do some TV ads in NZ. Had dinner with him and Pam. Very quiet! Did a brilliant job for us though!

[@davidkinmond9417]

Which adverts were they? Wracking my memory.

[@davidjma7226]

@@davidkinmond9417 For Kraft foods - Craig's Jams and marmalades, Chesdale Cheese, Craig canned beans, Kraft Mayo and Kraft Salad dressings. Circa 1994/5

[@davidkinmond9417]

@@davidjma7226 aaaahhh I arrived in NZ from the UK in late 95. Might have just missed them.

[@davidjma7226]

@@davidkinmond9417 He also did some off the cuff trade videos for us to launch the campaign for us. No holds barred he was authentic Billy, took the piss out of our company and the products and even mentioned a few buyers names from Woolworth, Foodtown, New World, Pak n Save etc. The trade absolutely loved them. And I was so glad - as they were part of my presentation to the trade. If they had not liked it I might have been fired! I emigrated there in 88 and left for Australia in 2000. I have fond memories of NZ, a special place.

[@namelastname8872]

Every single time I've eaten a toblerone, I think of this.

[@jameswhite7997]

Nail files out! The best

[@andrewhawkins8616]

He has to be the funniest man ever.

[@blath19]

Great to see you on rte tonight. You looked brill :)

[@cornpopandthebaddudes3501]

This was too funny! We never had Toblerone in the country i grew up in so my aunt from the UK would buy the huge Toblerones at the airport for us when she would come to visit. We would try to only eat one alp a day to make it last. So true though, if you didn’t break it off and instead try to bite it off, you would end up ripping some skin off in your mouth. Totally worth it though!

[@alanwayte432]

I saw him on this 94 tour ..genius

[@glynatmore1817]

A great great funny man No one like him He's a total 1 off

[@blatherskite3009]

It's funny because it's true. I've never been quite sure how you're supposed to tackle a Toblerone; especially the giant ones. But maybe that's what some of the more esoteric tools on a Swiss Army Knife are actually for?

[@irbennett]

It's easy. Put it in the fridge for a couple of days, then snap a piece off.

[@keiranhyre750]

Billy you making me laugh so much I hope you are well

[@smithyc2051]

Who buys those big toblerones at Heathrow……perverts 😂😂😂🤣🤣

[@skeetermartini]

I’ve always seen Billy Connolly in pop culture but never bothered to check out his material. I can easily say I’m a fan. Love his style.

[@sand9374]

Mans a Genius

[@aureliobrighton1871]

Wonderful as no one ever since ... the true story though is .. you are supposed to strap Toblerone under your mountain boots when you reach eternal ice .. walking vertically upright . come dinner time that 'wee tool kit' in the knife assembly gets handy . Franz shows it in Eiger Sanction :)

[@christinecanning5972]

He's so right, beautiful chocolate but so hard too eat.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

[@SamStatham294]

Turn them upside down. Absolute game changer.

[@christinecanning5972]

@@SamStatham294 thanks 👍

[@pauljordan4452]

​@@SamStatham294 I'll try that.

[@irbennett]

No it's not difficult to eat.

[@DAVEEPAUL]

@@irbennett You're actually making me laugh now. Are you a comedian? The first Sit & Type Comedian. This one genuinely cracked me up

[@marionbowler5440]

He'll fix anything wrong with you. ♥️🍁🐘🤗🇨🇦

[@phantomdrac]

Life feels like a Toblerone valley lol

[@scottishalwaysdixie1638]

Glaswegian Legend 💯👍

[@D4773n]

He's a legend in the rest of Scotland too 😉🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@tonig8348]

Brilliant 😂😂😂 billy

[@johnobrien3816]

This joke I showed to a few friends of mine lately the fell down with laughter. But one guy then nearly sent me into hospital when we stopped laughing or kinda stopped. He and I swear he says iv had piles they would have worked for me if I thought of it .

[@Indie9999]

I want one of them T-Shirts he wears! I can't find them anywhere though. I think I heard him say in an interview that he designed them.

[@janetmackinnon3411]

Always perceptive!

[@allansouthern7332]

BRILLIANT

[@pauljordan4452]

Someone play this video whenever they see Toblerone for sale.

[@anthonygarrido4269]

Anyone know what the audience member threw to make billy dump the water on him ?

[@stephenhowell5611]

Can buy those huge Toblerones locally, thankfully its right next to a hardware shop that sell swiss army knives.

[@camv3236]

This makes me smile when the world fucks me up, every day. What kind of sick mind would make a chocolate bar that hurts you, Billy? Masochists mate. Masochists.

[@Fred-rj3er]

This guy has made me laugh until it hurts since the late 70s, my late teens. A fantastic observer of life and people who basically says it how it is and honestly. With that irreverent twist that we all think to a greater or lesser extent. Love you Billy. In a Purley heterosexual, no gay stuff sort of way. Laugh ya bugga 😂🤣😅😂😅🤣😅

[@andrewcorbett5729]

The heathrow toblarone bit 😂😂

[@heatherhudson9891]

So true about the Toblerone. So bloody funny.

[@marcusnienhaus5194]

I eat and love Toblerones❤❤❤

[@irbennett]

Me too, I don't see what the problem is.

[@morbius076j]

I don’t know which is the better heckle, the coin or the glass of water 😂🤣

[@irbennett]

Neither.

[@janicekrieger1922]

Och Billy you are a fucking legend!

[@laara1426]

I remember my first and last T chocolate bar. In the 70's, had a case of the munchies and no useful implement to whack off a piece.

[@cherrybacon3319]

That's exactly my problem. The 3rd Alp gets stuck up my nose 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

[@kurbatska]

This is exactly the way I ate Tablerone

[@ihmesekoilua]

Ok, but can we talk about how Billy Connolly in his ridiculous nightgown-pant-dress from 1994 would be considered amazingly well-dressed in the year 2022.

[@irbennett]

Who said he would be considered well dressed. Billy wore what he liked, he didn't give a toss what other people thought.

[@ZPM18]

Ended it like a true Scottish man

[@danielegeland7285]

What did the heckler say at the end there ?

[@mmka1]

Nothing was said, someone threw a coin on the stage because Billy had made a joke about busking.

[@paulstoran7183]

God bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️ 💖 ✨️ 😊😅😮😢🎉😂😂❤❤❤❤be free now reader

[@staceyismine]

Fucking brilliant thats the first i have seen him pouring the glass of water over somone on yer self billy

[@adrian_baker]

The raw Glaswegian just comes out at the end 😂

[@jamiejohnson6227]

Dose any one know the name of the full length version

[@jonno7791]

Its from Billy Connolly- Live 1994. The show is one of my all time favorites.

[@Hailstonepie]

Love him x

[@ericahyland1624]

It's called a Hoof Pick Billy

[@ali-janethomson754]

Billy, i love you,, best laxative i know

[@dodibenabba525]

Push the triangle against the neighbouring triangle. Do not go for the pull away from method. It's fine, you can thank me later. 🍫

[@Immortal-Headcase]

Figured this method out in the 70s after losing two front baby teeth to a tragic Toblerone accident at Christmas, and back then, they were bigger and thicker bars. I eventually put it on the table and banged each piece with the palm of my hand, even that hurt. Being the youngest of seven, I received all the taunts 'all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth' for days. I never had another for over 20 years due to the trauma.

[@dodibenabba525]

@Immortal-Headcase 😂 brilliant. Yeah I remember the 70s too!

[@lifelong5425]

68 years later..The internet helped me work out how to eat Toblerone without injury. Have you ?

[@rms2365]

Where does one get a shirt like Bill’s.....

[@irbennett]

You can't, they're only made for him.

[@russellham2094]

You can do a lot with a Swiss Army Penknife and a lump of chocolate!! 👍

[@thepenultimateninja5797]

I wonder if this is where Steve Coogan got the idea for Alan Partridge's Toblerone addiction?

[@pauljordan4452]

I saw a stack of Toblerones at a chain store and thought of this.

[@uk4ss4ssin]

Raymon Vega approves

[@uinisefaustinafoochong7743]

Pocket pies get me every time you could at least make them chocolate