Bisexuality Stories Onscreen, Explained

[@KingHiki]

One thing I wish writers would stop doing is writing stories about older bisexual characters having the sexual awakening by cheating on the current partner.

[@marlboroprime657]

TRUE

[@trinaq]

Seconded, it just feeds into the problematic stereotype of all bisexuals being promiscuous! 😤

[@gaesimp__]

Exactly!

[@gaymerg0rlbathwater]

Ikr? I hate that kind of trope it feels so annoying

[@Hugo-G]

I get what you mean, but it is pretty realistic and a common way people who settled down too early in life discover the rest of their sexuality. I do agree there should be other depictions as well since that doesn't encompass all bisexual experience for older folks.

[@bilge8656]

“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.” Captain Holt to Rosa when she came out.

[@FabalociousDee]

I love me some Captain Holt.

[@gaymerg0rlbathwater]

I actually teared up when he said that, it felt so good to hear it

[@mariapaz6379]

one of the best quotes on modern tv, it meant so much for so many people.

[@BookUnbinder]

always makes me tear up

[@feliciaroyers1646]

I cried

[@mikelegend2729]

Maybe it's time bisexuals are portrayed as bisexuals and not as "free spirits who don't like labels"

[@mclaudiagarcia2007]

right??? i LOVE labels and i also love girls and i also love boys so it was rlly confusing

[@trinaq]

Yes, they should be portrayed as people first and foremost, and not be judged by who they're attracted to, much like everyone else! 💙💜💗

[@talacine]

okay but i know some bisexual people in real life who are like that. no sexuality is a monolith. there is room for a diverse range of depictions

[@mikelegend2729]

talacine Of course there must be! They can totally coexist in peace

[@mikelegend2729]

AxxL u ok bro?

[@SoVidushi]

Off topic but SAY IT WITH ME- Bisexual people in heterosexual relationships are bisexual. Bisexual people in homosexual relationships are bisexual. Bisexual people are bisexual. Edit: and as @ololo518 says, Bisexual people are people.

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

YES. THIS. How do people not understand this??

[@SoVidushi]

PEPPER SPRAY exactlyy!!

[@pran4649]

i know what you meant by this, but also!! they're not in a heterosexual relationship if theyre with someone of the opposite gender, and it's not a homosexual relationship if theyre with someone with the same gender, they're both just relationships, this is still great tho!! just pointing that out also bi's can be in relationships with non-binary or genderfluid people and thats valid too!!

[@mochitea5638]

@@khatunamezvrishvili6211 BECAUSE IT'S CONFUSING

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

@@mochitea5638 it's not.

[@the-ma-an]

"Bisexuality isn't a thing. It's like saying I'm a cat person and a dog person." As a bisexual who's a cat and dog person, I am very offended.

[@SunflowerLilypad]

Saaaame. I love both dogs and cats. 🤣🤣 I'd like a few words with will!

[@caitlynmiller8956]

saaaaaaaaaaameee

[@fluffyunicornass]

Same 😂😂

[@alexgreen4112]

😂 my dog and cat are best friends and I love them both the same

[@skylarblue5284]

Why can’t we like both animals and both genders 😩

[@Saltwaterfish96]

Rosa's Coming Out was the first time I heard "bisexual" on TV and I will never forget that

[@trinaq]

Seconded, it meant so much to me to see bisexuality being acknowledged for what it is. Stephanie coming out alongside Rosa was simply inspiring, especially since "OITNB" took until its last episode to openly state that Piper was bi. 💗💙💜

[@bubblegumplastic]

The anthem on Crazy Ex Gf was my first time. They so rarely actually use the word! It's so nice when they say it!

[@Saltwaterfish96]

@@bubblegumplastic That song made me watch the whole show and I am so glad, I love cxg

[@bubblegumplastic]

@@Saltwaterfish96 it's a really good show ✨ i think it tackles its themes wonderfully

[@HealthyObbsession]

I remember hearing it in Will and Grace and Friends but more as a joke like on Will and Grace they said Bi is just a bus stop away from Gay

[@dvdv8197]

Just passing bi, don't mind me.

[@trinaq]

Yes, if you ask me how I'm doing, here is my reply: "I'm getting bi!" 💗💙💜

[@gaesimp__]

This made me chuckle

[@dvdv8197]

@@gaesimp__ 🙈🙈

[@prageruwu69]

we are true pun masters

[@Kino_Cartoon]

@@prageruwu69 You mean pan master 😏

[@Karliene]

I hate that coming out as ‘bi’ is so often translated as ‘I love lots of sex’. I’ve struggled with it a lot in my life.

[@tqt252]

Same

[@andyanderson7149]

Bro as an Asexual biromantic this is painfully true

[@gracehaven5459]

@@andyanderson7149 demisexual biromantic here girl!! I feel you

[@teecb9727]

@@gracehaven5459 Same it took so long for me to realize who was just because of the way bisexual ppl are portrayed

[@Ashely56]

I agree I'm bi romantically, but I'm also on the asexuality spectrum. So I'm sometimes hesitant to tell people I'm bisexual because they expect me to be the super hyper sexual being when I'm really not.

[@spaceylacey83]

Marrying a dude basically solidified, for my mom, that me being bi was just a phase I went through and she told me on my wedding day how relieved she was. I've always understood why representation was important but now I get why these videos mean so much to people when they line up with identities instead of just tropes. Thanks, ladies. I feel understood. 💜

[@Adi-fi5iq]

No matter who you're with your sexuality is always valid

[@spaceylacey83]

@@Adi-fi5iq thank you! I was discovering myself during the late nineties and early aughts, when those Will & Grace/Friends/Sex in the City sentiments were _every where_ so it's only relatively recently that I've begun to feel that way. People like you help me so much with that.

[@leighblack7944]

Yes, that is so true. I'm married to a man but it hasn't changed the fact that I am also attracted to women. I just choose to devote myself to him in life. He knows that I am attracted to women and men but he just accepts that we have made a commitment to be monogamous to each other right now. He trusts me and so he trusts my commitment to him the same way I trust his commitment to me. It doesn't mean our attraction to other people turned off. It just means that we don't act on it.

[@spaceylacey83]

@@leighblack7944 exactly. I'm not straight, I'm just monogamous. 🤷‍♀️

[@trinaq]

As long as you're happy with the person that you're currently with, then their gender shouldn't matter. Love is love, after all, and other people's opinions don't count as strongly as your own. 💙💜💖

[@hambone4984]

I'm bisexual, when I tried coming out in highschool and college I was constantly told "you're just saying that to attract guys." Then I married a man and still get told by way too many people "I knew that whole thing was a phase." Or "But you're married to a man, so you're straight." So all the past girlfriends and female FWB don't count? The fact that my husband could have been a woman and I still would have dropped my line, totally doesn't matter? I get that some people don't like labels and that other people go through a fluid stage when figuring themselves out, but if someone says "my sexuality is ___" for years on end, maybe try believing them.

[@gaesimp__]

I totally understand, you're bisexual even if you marry one gender.

[@paomarie-antoinette9848]

I totally understand you, my BFF always tells me I'm not bi, because as off the las few yearas I've only had boyfriends and not girlfriend, and it's annoying I still like girls, I still want to make love with a woman, find them highly attractive, and can be aroused by a woman. What's does it matter that I haven't been in a relationship? Still doesn't deny my desire and whom I like.

[@missfanie2012]

Even if you had been married to a woman they would have said "I knew you were just gay all along"... You can never win with them. As long as you know who you are, that's the most important.

[@Ale.calsan4777]

It's like people think that bisexuals marry a woman and a man at the same time. Fucking ridiculous.

[@cvb4117]

missfanie2012 exactly smh

[@LiiiiiiMa]

Huge fucking shoutout to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend for having three bisexual characters and have ALL their arcs be unique. Darryl, who has his grand coming-out later in life. Valencia, who just.. has a girlfriend (and later wife!!) without it being a big deal, at all. And Maya, who is shown crushing on men and women, casually and without a big whoop. I love how casual they make the representation feel and not all "Look at our super non forced representation please give us praise" kind of bs

[@girlpower8900]

THIS! Darryl kicked off me really learning more nuance about bi people and the way he navigated his journey to discover and the way his relationship with WhiJo developed and how even though his end of show partner was a woman his bisexuality was still very much present and real and didn't just go away because he was no longer dating a man, and i know some people probably wanted more buildup to Valencias bisexuality besides just popping out of a time jump with a girlfriend, but I like how casual it was tbh, even if her gf didn't get alot of screentime or lines, and yes Maya was a delight just having crushes or flings with both genders - she just followed her own path.

[@moonie3866]

@@girlpower8900 While I did like how casual Valencia's "coming out journey" was, I do feel a little robbed of a Getting Bi reprise from her.

[@alejandrocervantes3624]

Maya did had a coming out lol! right after Darryl's as a punchline, it was just latter picked back up as the character kept getting writen further into the show

[@stancrazyexgirlfriend8760]

Maya had an episode where she said she was pan!! ❤️ Bi and Pan unite 🏳️‍🌈🌈 **edited: sorry for the confusion! I rewatched the ep where Darryl and Maya both came out as BI (season 1, episode 14)

[@LauM]

@@stancrazyexgirlfriend8760 Wait, when? I only remember her expressing she was bi.

[@taliatrini2925]

I’m not out as bi yet cause I’m scared people will only see me as a gay person pretending to be straight or as straight person pretending to be gay it’s interesting to see the stigma in media

[@1234-xyz]

Same here, I've also only been in straight relationships and im afraid people will say that I'm doing it for attention.

[@prageruwu69]

hang in there mate

[@taliatrini2925]

A M it’s a bit infuriating how people don’t believe it to be real

[@1234-xyz]

@@taliatrini2925 Especially when you see it in the LGBTQ community.

[@zuerivera5039]

@AM This is the exact reason I've never been comfortable with coming out. Funnily enough, one of the few people that know I'm bisexual and openly acknowledges it and respects it, is my husband. Ultimately, those that love you will love you completely just as you are❤️

[@tariqthomas9090]

As a Bisexual...this video means a LOT. Thank you so much for this!

[@gaesimp__]

Same

[@Slm99]

Same

[@spaceylacey83]

I got super excited when I saw the title.

[@trinaq]

Me too, I've known that I was bi for a while now, and only recently plucked up the courage to tell a few close friends. I can thank "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" for helping me to become more comfortable in my own skin! 😍😘

[@joelletatter4063]

I came here to say just that!

[@lisah5750]

"There's a B in there for a reason, and it doesn't mean badass" Rosa Diaz: DOUBT

[@bennyton2560]

I certainly read it as douBt

[@StarDust-th6fm]

I’ve also noticed that when celebrities come out as bi or pan audiences often assume them to be gay and ignore their sexuality.

[@risacooper]

*cough* FreddieMurceryandmanymanyothers *cough*

[@StarDust-th6fm]

L. C. Actually I heard that Freddy Mercury was gay but had to say he was bi for his own safety. But I get your point.

[@Kiarak_]

Yes like when David Bowie came out as a bisex and a lot of people would say: “are you sure? I think you are hiding something “ 🙄🙄

[@deuteronomydeeznutz4278]

Or people tend to forget about it until it is brought up. Like how Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie are bisexual.

[@maryvon8518]

Or they're "just trying to get attention" especially if they're already in a relationship with a member of the opposite gender.

[@johncharlton199]

I'm a bisexual and if I had a dollar even time I heard the question; "do you prefer men or woman" I'd never have to work again.

[@nah3551]

if i got paid minimum wage for every hour i wasted pondering that question for myself, because i was led to believe it was actually a thing and mattered and was anyone's business but my own, i could buy a private island

[@nadezhdamartynova5614]

It is ok to prefer one gender over another and still be bisexual 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

Yeah but preferences like that still do exist and I'm sure people are just curious

[@gaesimp__]

Honestly

[@Hugo-G]

I have a preference for men, and I'm bisexual. It's more common to have a preference than to be exactly 50/50.

[@a.d.w8385]

I remember my father telling me as a girl that he would have been fine with me being bisexual or gay. Just not his son being that way. You would be amazed how much people feel this way about men and sexuality.

[@teenkitsune]

Because heterosexual men find it hot when two women kiss and/or have sex it's more accepted simply on the basis that they find it hot, and of course the rejection of gay men is not only because they aren't attracted to other men they won't give permission because they can't enjoy porn of it, plus it feeds into the need for men to be "men" as in 100% masculine, as opposed to women who are permitted to be masculine so long as they don't threaten the power men have in society, and because sex with women is considered masculine and masculinity is considered the ideal where femininity is considered inferior that also factors into the lack of acceptance. It's really sad, and the fight to fix that has only gotten harder since a misogynistic pig because the 45th president of the U.S.

[@strawberry.sunshine]

It happens the other way round too. When I was at college a girl said to me ‘I’m okay with gay or bi guys but girls doing that... yuck’. I said ‘I’m bi!’ And she apologised but was grossed out. I think it comes from a hetero bias that *they* wouldn’t wanna do stuff with the sam gender as them

[@mankytoes]

At the same time I knew a girl who came out to her mum as gay, and she was fine with it. Then she said she actually felt bi, and her mum said "no, that's being greedy, you have to pick". There's all sorts of nuances with prejudice.

[@mochitea5638]

@@teenkitsune nah, girls are more touchy then guys

[@COVID--kf3tx]

@@strawberry.sunshine Usually the other way around though. If you look at rules against homosexuality, there's a bunch of laws that apply to men but not women

[@Splint3r3d]

This is so real. A summary of my experience as a bi woman every time I come out: Conservative family - dismissive Straight men - turned on Gay women - repulsed Even though there are lots of bi/pan/fluid people out there, it can feel so isolating. I'm glad better representation is starting to happen.

[@jimmy2k4o]

Bi men? How do we react? Personally I’d shrug and say cool then shift the subject to D.C.

[@GiulianaBruna]

I may add my experience .. For most straight guys it's a turn on, but they won't take you seriously as a partner. If you already are in a relationship they will get insecure and suspicious.

[@mlagv4045]

Giuliana Bruna the classic ‘oh that’s *so* hot, but you are like over that right, it was just a phase right, *right* ?’

[@GiulianaBruna]

@Hip Sis Thats why getting a man who is secure on their own masculinity is a must. Your partner cant give you that kind of validation, the same way that I can't define my femininity by how attractive I am to them. Doesnt matter what if you dont work on it it will always be an issue. I understand trans people not dating bisexuals because of insecurities about how are they percibed tho. Its really a complicated thing and an individual experience. Every person should work on it.

[@GiulianaBruna]

@Hip Sis What do violence have to do with this? I mean, its an issue but I dont understand why its relevant to my comment. Also, stadistics should be considered in a context, by themselves they can be tricky. I should read the article to know what they mean.

[@KawauchiFlam]

I can't believe me, a bissexual, got lured into thinking that the characters from Brokeback Mountain and Call Me By Your Name were nothing but gays

[@michellealvarado7411]

My thoughts exactly.

[@SarastistheSerpent]

Because any guy who exhibits attraction to another guy for even a split second is labelled as gay for the rest of his life.

[@Plottoberry]

I watched Moonlight and was suprised to find a clearly (and confident) bi guy in there. I only heard it was 'gay'.

[@Eris_Norregard]

I think Brokeback Mountain is a bit more ambiguous (hah). With the character of Jack, it's safe to assume he's bi - he's obviously deeply in love with Ennis, but he also clearly has both a ramantic connection and a sexual attraction to Laureen, his wife. You can feel the chemistry in that scene they first meet. Ennis, on the other hand, always struck me as a closeted gay man. He fell for Jack even though he was already in a relationship with Alma, him and her had troubles in their marriage basically since day one, and in more than one scene he was somewhat reluctant to have sex with her and didn't seem to feel any pleasure during that. Notably, he was the one who dismissed any possibility of him and Jack having anything more than a secret affair, and he seemed way more "haunted" by what I assumed was either an internalized homophobia, or a fear of society rejection.

[@SarastistheSerpent]

@@Eris_Norregard in the short story it’s more the other way around. Jack is gay and Ennis is bisexual. Jack and Laureen have a sort of business partnership type marriage. She only appears once in the book, and gives the impression that she and Jack never truly loved each other, while Ennis and Alma definitely did.

[@oomay1925]

It's annoying how if a bi character is in a healthy and happy relationship with the opposite sex, people cry it's cowardly bi representation to not set them up with the same sex. Shows they just want gay representation and not bi representation because they should understand that bisexuality is still valid even if they're in a het-passing relationship. Someone's sexual preferences is their business, it's not meant to appease you and your own assumptions about sexuality!

[@noonebossesthegarnet2890]

Seriously, though. I'm sick and tired of people dismissing representation that includes bisexual people in straight relationships.

[@kittykittybangbang9367]

I remember seeing this one tumblr post that said that Bi (or pan) characters (or people) could not be bi (or pan) if they were in a relationship with the opposite sex. Luckily someone else in the post was able to call out that BS, but yeah it really does show.

[@godemperorofmankind3.091]

if i had to guess, thats because theres countless examples already of het relationships. the last 70-80 years of cinema prior to the 2000s is nonstop hetero.

[@Jay-kz7mw]

A straight couple on TV is revolutionary how? Because some throwaway line that one of them is bi? You know that's cowardly and that's why it's being called out. And rightfully so.

[@shawqin992]

@@Jay-kz7mw I think it depends on how much the character's bisexuality is represented (e.g. how much they talk about it in the show, etc.) but I understand that it's very hard to represent bisexuality well if the character is in a monogamous straight-passing relationship all the time. I think a way to balance the two sides (showing meaningful and substantive bi representation while acknowledging that bi people in straight-passing relationships are still bi) is to show the bi character single for a while in the show, creating some plot to explore and represent the character's bisexuality, and then let them date the opposite gender later in the show.

[@sarahroddey2937]

When my first boyfriend found out I was bi he responded with "oh great, now I have to worry about men AND women??" and I just remembered being so offended that he thought I was going to be unfaithful.

[@a.d.w8385]

My sisters boyfriend asked her to do threesomes with girls and polygamy. He was happy. But.. When she said she's monogamous, he said she was confusing him. People man.

[@alaia-awakened]

I hear you... Bisexual doesn’t mean we’re not faithful!

[@sarahroddey2937]

@A Round Orifice in Nothingness oh he was. But I'm with a much better man now

[@mochitea5638]

um, maybe because your fucking gorgeous he has to worry about guys and girls hitting on you and him getting jealous?

[@mochitea5638]

@A Round Orifice in Nothingness i know right

[@marlowmorbid8531]

i think it's worth looking at the history of sexuality in indigenous cultures, it's mindblowing exactly how diverse the world used to be before colonists insisted on forcing their heteropatriarchal values onto everyone else.

[@marlowmorbid8531]

@@a_m5115 nobody said oppression didn't exist back then?

[@ExeErdna]

That's because it was the Puritans it's legit in their name and they were being killed off because they were doing too much in the UK. Everybody else was more so on the "down-low" behind closed doors without the puritans "winning" people would be much more open.

[@KG0605]

I mean unfortunately the same can’t be said about indigenous Mexican cultures, the Aztecs were known to be extremely intolerant of any sort of intolerance. It’s very few indigenous cultures that actually permitted same-sex relationships and gender fluidity. Additionally, there are also some white European cultures (such as the Greeks) that accepted queer people. This really isn’t such a black and white cultural factor that some people think it is lmao. Certain cultures were more open and willing to be accepting, it has nothing to do with race rather than their cultural beliefs and practices. I say this as an indigenous bisexual Mexican dude who still faces these issues in my culture today.

[@_mangostudio_1911]

You’re not wrong. If anyone is interested, look into LGBTQ+ representation in Hindu mythology.

[@morningstar6937]

@@KG0605 that being said not all indigenous mexicans were aztecs though, not even most nahuas were aztects, I really hate when people put all mesoamerican cultures under the term aztec and say they all did a. b. and c. when in reality mesoamerica was full of many different and vibrant cultures

[@vee6163]

I don't usually expect much from the straights*, but it hurts me the most when the ignorance (and often erasure) towards bisexuals comes from within the lgbtqa+ community. We were suppose to be the more understanding and accepting ones in our society, not act like one orientation is some what more valid than other. I'm fortunate enough to have supportive people in my life, but it saddens me to hear the sad experiences that some other bi people have gone through. Anyway, I hope we keep getting more *proper and diverse* stories in the media, especially about poc.

[@amarettopunsch1496]

@Hip Sis Why are you being bitter?

[@amarettopunsch1496]

I can understand your frustration... nothing hurts more when you even have to explain yourself to your own community. It all has to do with insecurities... gay and lesbian people feel like they cannot compete with their opposite counterparts so they get angry and frustrated when they see bisexuals go for the opposite gender. I don't justify biphobia. I am just explaining the underlying insecurities of gay and lesbian people which lead them to being hateful and disrespectful towards bisexuals

[@devarayez1846]

Hip Sis You’re part of the problem.

[@devarayez1846]

Hip Sis Nice try.

[@ilikeditbetterbefore]

@@amarettopunsch1496 It also stems from this wrong notion that "Bi" people have it easier because they can end up in a "straight-looking" relationship, hence they are more privileged, when in fact they have to endure mistrust from both straight and gay or lesbian partners, plus society and every stupid Carrie Bradshaw out there.

[@aberrantcow]

As a bisexual woman thank you so much for making this video and dedicated some of its time bisexual black men. They are the most marginalized group in this community and need to be supported.

[@queenelizabeth8145]

As a black bi girl, I've always felt that I had some privilege over bi men because society and the black community pushes for them to "act" like a cishet man and when they try to explore themselves, they're mocked for it.

[@aberrantcow]

Riyan Ali yes! Exactly! The pressure to perform as hyper masculine especially for marginalized men is so prevalent. They need our support 💙💜💖

[@pixiebells]

Quick, someone forward this video to Andrew Gillum 👍🏻💕

[@rachelranderson]

SO glad to see this. My first time dealing with the tv "you're just confused" BS was in Glee, which hurt bc their was no resolution/apology for the two characters they insulted. It was just brushed over and the couple just acted like it never happened. When B99 had Rosa's whole coming out story (and subsequent romantic character development), I genuinely almost cried. Like "hey- we're real. Hooray!"

[@eoincampbell1584]

The ridiculous amount to which Glee danced around the word bisexual when talking about Brittany despite her obvious attraction to both men and women is just, well ridiculous.

[@amityislandchum]

@@eoincampbell1584 Glee ended up almost treating it like Brittany was just too *dumb* to notice that men and women were different. They were really awful about bisexuality.

[@rachelranderson]

@@amityislandchum that's because if they recognized Brittany as bi they'd have to acknowledge Kurt's biphobic ass-- and we can't tarnish Ryan Murphy's little angel.

[@eclipsadatraducciones]

I mean it's not big surprise, ryan murphy is biphobic and you can see it on his shows :/ subtle but damaging to the bi community nonetheless

[@bee458]

And the fact that Kurt didn't say sh*t to Brittany. Also, I hate the line Danni says to Santana when they meet and she tells her about Brittany: "You need a 100% sapphic Goddess." 🤢

[@milugdl]

i love how Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has THREE bi characters and always treated their sexualities like it was no big deal

[@nameless568]

Yesss I love casual representation

[@prageruwu69]

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[@marianneshepherd6286]

My husband is bisexual (I'm straight) and we've both been asked so many times if our marriage is an open one. Which has upset both of us because of negative depictions. I've had to explain so many times that even though we're in a monogamous relationship that doesn't negate my husbands sexuality x

[@AvocadoToastTheSeries]

My grandmother just tried to set me up with someone (a man(...5 minutes after I told her I married my longtime girlfriend. I HEAR YOU.

[@geniehossain3738]

Wow, didn’t realize Sex and the City was basically just a tv show about Karens 😂

[@RK-ep8qy]

Oh god it probably created so many Karens as well

[@bilge8656]

I know right! Looking back on the show they were so fckn closed up and snobby

[@teenkitsune]

What are Karens? I keep hearing this thrown around but I have no idea what it means.

[@aaronclift]

That show has aged horribly - hell, I thought it was regressive when it first came out. Thanks, The Take, for reminding me.

[@MortMe0430]

@@teenkitsune Broadly speaking, "Karen" is a popular nickname for a judgmental, closed-minded and especially self-entitled type of woman (usually middle-aged or older). Think of type of woman who will ask to speak to a restaurant's or store's manager over dumb little things that the woman makes into a much bigger issue than it really is. The type of woman who doesn't see retail/service workers (or often LGBT, neurodivergent, or disabled folk) as real people deserving basic respect. Of course, there are plenty of grouchy, judgmental and entitled men, but I don't know if there's a trending nickname for them yet.

[@KaylaNoelle1]

When I came out to my mom as bisexual I could tell she thought it was "icky" and she raised me to love homosexual people and trans people and non-binary people. She asked why I can't just "pick one" but I HAVE "picked one" one PERSON. She knows being gay isn't a choice so why would she think I could suddenly pick and choose my sexuality like that?? My dad said, "Just don't bring home anyone dumb or ugly, and don't let anyone treat you badly. Then I'm happy." Blunt, but okay..

[@KaylaNoelle1]

@Intensive Purposes I'm sorry you've been made to feel that way, you don't deserve it. The way I think about it and the way I explained it to her is that I fall in love with someone's personality and their soul first and I worry about what's in their pants later!

[@neetfreek9921]

Why does your dad care whether or not your partner is ugly? Is he planning on fucking them? So confused by people sometimes.

[@KaylaNoelle1]

@@neetfreek9921 He doesn't want ugly grandchildren I guess? Even though I told him I'm adopting... Or he doesn't want me to date below my "league" because he'd be embarrassed? Idk I don't get it either.

[@neetfreek9921]

@@KaylaNoelle1 What superficial priorities lol. Good luck, parents can be impossible to deal with at times zz

[@phillip2169]

@@KaylaNoelle1 I think he means that you should go for someone you're attracted to and not settle. That he wants you to be happy with your partner and not date someone because you feel like they are the only option. And maybe he is just less verbose. Or, like most people, are socialized to attain certain beauty standards and hasn't given it much thought and just wants you to have the best partner. Either way he cares for you

[@missfanie2012]

I never understood why it is easy to dismiss someone who is bisexual. "No, you're confused" "No, you're homosexual and you don't want to admit it yet." 😒 And this from your own community! What is so hard to comprehend that I can be attracted to both genders. And no that does not make me a whore. Thank you for the video 👏🏾 Hopefully, they'll be more authentic representation of bisexuals on screen in the future.

[@luisa146]

I'm bi but I only ever slept with one man, the one I'm still in a long term relationship with. So much for the hypersexual bi myth

[@jimmy2k4o]

Myth* ;). But I agree am bi with a low drive.

[@luisa146]

@@jimmy2k4o oops I'm correcting that right now!

[@withakiwiontop]

Exactly the same for me :D Only ever slept with my ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend. For the longest time I was unsure if I'm really bisexual at all - as I had no "proof" of ever having experiences with women... I really like this video, bringing some light at this topic :)

[@laurafreitas1516]

Story of my life

[@pixiebells]

I've been happy and satisfied with one man for 11 years. Still bi.

[@trinaq]

Thanks for tackling this Trope! It always irritates me somewhat when a character previously thought to be straight later comes out as gay, with no indication that they're either bisexual or pansexual. It's also annoying that bi people are automatically labelled as being "greedy" or "promiscuous", and likely to cheat on their partner. 😤😠

[@TheFeltonLover]

I mean, there ARE lots of instances of people who we think are straight actually being gay, though. A character doesn’t have to come out as bi because some gay people do date/have sex with/marry the opposite sex before they realize that they’re 100% gay.

[@tariqthomas9090]

That’s why I’m so thankful for shows like Schitt’s Creek, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Jane The Virgin for literally tackling these negative bisexual stereotypes head on and stopping them dead in their tracks.

[@tariqthomas9090]

Jay That is...if you believe a person is “100% gay”. Sexuality is weird and fluid, so someone very well could have been bisexual at one point in their life and their sexuality just evolved into something different over time.

[@TheFeltonLover]

Tariq Thomas yes, i believe people are 100% gay. i know that as bisexuals it’s hard for us to understand only liking one sex, but some people are 100% gay and 100% straight.

[@pixiebells]

@@TheFeltonLover I see sexuality not so much in who's gay, straight or bi, I see it more as some people are sexually fixed and some are fluid. For example, I'm fixed. I'm bi and I am completely happy with that. I've never wanted to label myself as anything other. But a friend of mine first identified as a lesbian for many years, then asexual for awhile and she's currently been with a man for a couple of years now. Thus, some people are more fixed and some people are more fluid. That makes the most sense to me, anyway.

[@suchetanasen434]

This video came out just when I had realised I was bisexual and was appalled to see the misinformation about and lack of representation of bisexual in popular media. This video is one of the few well made videos about bisexuals​ in the internet. I have always been a fan of this channel. Now this video has helped me reconcile my sexual identity with myself,as I live in a country where LGBT rights is not really accepted. I hope you keep up the good work and your videos help others like me. All the best!👍💜

[@nishapatel-vu9lm]

welcome to the bi community! i hope that it gets easier for you in your home

[@deuteronomydeeznutz4278]

Welcome to the club! Our uniforms are flannel with leather or jean jackets. Our clubs dessert is lemon bars as they are both sweet and sour. We can never sit correctly.

[@shelbyb9056]

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

[@sophiatalksmusic3588]

Congrats!

[@solfeggietto8306]

Watching all those biphobic scenes in a row is disgusting. I'm glad I haven't really encountered biphobia that much in Europe. I've mostly seen/heard of it online/on tv re: the U.S, but it sucks and is repulsive all the same.

[@lavenderbambi3501]

I'm from Europe and same :)

[@lavenderbambi3501]

@ lol i def know mostly straight ppl, then comes a lot of bi ppl, and nobody gay xd

@@lavenderbambi3501 yeah, I was exaggerating a bit, I also know more straight people

[@oomay1925]

That scene for the man saying "You're not bi. Your gay!" Made me so annoyed lol

[@lavenderbambi3501]

@A Round Orifice in Nothingness idk man, lot of straight ppl ( for example) won't even label themselves, or just say bi to not feel limited and in the end only dates other sex, orrrrrr there r ppl who don't know they r bi bc the didn't meet right ppl. It's kinda confusing

[@bluvitae]

Rosa's coming out means A LOT to me. I mean, her coming-out episode was released in December 2017 and I came out as Bi only months later, around April/May of 2018. This episode had an amazing effect on me since it was my starting point of "wtf, maybe i'm bi too????"

[@konraddygudaj257]

"No form of sexuality can be condemned if there is love in it." Michael Schneider

[@trinaq]

Precisely, you can't help who you're attracted to, and love is love, no matter what form it takes! 💘👭👬

[@konraddygudaj257]

@@trinaq There is a lot of truth in this

[@nuyel]

And if there's no love too! Attraction doesn't need the "love" validation!

[@konraddygudaj257]

@@nuyel Right.

[@1bridge11]

So pedophilia and incest are okay with you?

[@dvdv8197]

Once a friend of a friend asked if I was gay, i said no. I told him, i like girls as much as the next guy!

[@maina.wambui]

Noice

[@dvdv8197]

@@maina.wambui 😂😂

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

wait....I don't think I get it, explain please (no disrespect) I don't know what gender you identify as so this joke is flying over my head

[@ianmeadows6941]

kimberley williams their bisexual

[@missfanie2012]

I will definitely use that line, thanks 😋

[@dvdv8197]

Dear Carrie, It exists. Sincerely, A casual passer-bi 🙃

[@somethingcooliguess]

I did a rewatch of SATC about 5 years ago and, besides noticing how insufferable Carrie is as a person, I was so surprised at how close-minded and old-fashioned she is for a SEX COLUMNIST. I guess it really shows the cultural changes, but I'd assume a NY sex columnist would have some understanding and comfort level with deviant (defined as outside of societal norms, NOT bad) behavior/acts.

[@dvdv8197]

@@somethingcooliguess so true! Makes it almost unwatchable nowadays :(

[@gaesimp__]

Thank you, I'm bisexual and I really appreciate this a lot.

[@Slm99]

Same, honestly I am crying of happiness.

[@gaesimp__]

@@Slm99 Awh that's wholesome 🖤

[@anenayar1995]

Sexuality of women are always considered to be a taboo subject kuddus for the take to do a video on this topic

[@berlineczka]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend definitely deserved more attention in this movie. Exactly for the reason which is the only thing you said about the show: it gave its audience three bisexual people and an anthem. All three of them, Darryl, Maya and Valencia, had different trajectory and different approaches to the labels - which could have been an interesting thing to analyse. A pity.

[@VioletEmerald]

Yeah this video made it seem like they didn't really watch some of the shows included...

[@ruaoneill9050]

Future episode maybe? Oh and at least 2 of the bi sexual characters in CXG referred to themselves as bi

[@multiplemysteries5242]

Yeah. CXGF is so underrated and I hate it.

[@masterpys2693]

I, a bisexual, clicked on this so fast bc I saw 'bisexual'

[@zombiegaby]

Another show with bisexual characters: Legend's of Tomorrow!

[@VioletEmerald]

Yeah i loved the reveal of the show finally calling Sara bisexual. People had waited so long for her character to have the actual term used regarding her!

[@zombiegaby]

@@VioletEmerald hell yeah! Also in later seasons they introduce a bunch of bi characters, i dont recall if they give them any labels but they have romantic or sexual adventures with man and women! So thats cool

[@VioletEmerald]

@@zombiegaby i fell multiple seasons behind all the Arrowverse shows but cool!

[@zz55jf]

I was so hurt they sisnt me tion Sarah

[@itzelgc4637]

Constantine ♥️

[@ianmeadows6941]

Where my fellow Bisexuals at? 🖐

[@trinaq]

Right here, my friend! Bis everywhere, unite!💗💜💙

[@prageruwu69]

eyy

[@vqlentine989]

Here!! 💖💜💙

[@LW-ng1fl]

meee 💖💜💙 showing love to the pans too

[@eleven-hopper]

right here, baby!

[@queenbarb5503]

me at home: yes ma, i like men. ONLY men. me at school/online: iM BI WHAT R U TALKING ABOUT ME BEING STRAIGHT

[@Manus7100]

same

[@queenbarb5503]

@@Manus7100 ive never felt so seen in a video

[@pragnyachoudhury1592]

IKR!!

[@Manus7100]

Pure truth

[@trinaq]

Haha, why is this so relatable?! 😅Bi and Pan community, unite! 💜💗💙

[@happychaosofthenorth]

I'm surprised you didn't mention Willow on Buffy as an example of Bi characters who are secretly gay. Willow and Tara was a beautiful relationship, but she also had a lovely romance with Oz and had a crush on Xander for years. But I think they flat out said that Willow's gay. Which would've been fine if she didn't show interest and attraction for guys before she met Tara.

[@cherusiderea1330]

Yeah, I recently re-watched all Buffy episodes and Willow's just like "Well, I'm gay now." And that's like about it. Oz even comes back when she's already with Tara and she still has feelings for Oz, but still the only word they will use for Willow is "gay", not "bi" smh

[@angelmichelle666]

@@cherusiderea1330 I'm currently rewatching it, on season 5 atm. I always thought she was bi but then realising that she is classed as gay/lesbian which I think is a little disrespectful to her relationships with Oz and Xander, they were important to her and like you said, she still has feelings for him when he comes back. I know that some people do start in straight relationships and then realise that they are gay/lesbian so I hope I'm not being disrespectful to them, I'm really sorry if I have offended anyone.

[@chilledbitch9444]

with all due respect, lesbians can think they like men and seem to be attracted to them before they realise they are gay. i'm all for positive bisexual rep, but claiming that just because someone has had a relationship with a member of the opposite sex they are automatically bisexual is... pretty homophobic.

[@sreyarao801]

There's even an episode later after they've asserted she's gay where she tries to turn a guy into a girl using a spell so that they can be together. It makes no sense because she clearly loved Oz and it definitely feels like the writers didn't want to label her as bisexual.

[@Siures]

Thought the same. It is no „she does not know about women yet, so she is with men“ - story. She genuinely loves Oz even when she is already courting Tara. Xander might have been a crush, but Oz not. And she is very clearly sexually attracted to him as well. Willow is always portrayed as a lesbian role model, but to me this always felt wrong. It is sad because in the beginning of her romance with Tara gender does not play a role. She claims to be lesbian without a reason. Why did the show not let it… well unlabeled or really be bisexual?

[@Mr.-Roybot]

Aside from this video I don't think I've ever seen a bi man of color in media

[@rachela7]

I believe that Eleanor Shellstop knows what her sexuality is, she just doesn't like labels/doesn't feel a need to say it.

[@Svengali764]

Yes. She knows and her "more men should be bisexual. It's 2018, it's like get yourself " has always me in splits.

[@rachela7]

@@Svengali764 same. I just don't think people should make such a big deal about a character not putting a label on their sexuality.

[@jojo-he5gj]

It’s kind of sad how bi and pans are portrayed as cheaters and untrustworthy. I have bisexual friends in long term relationships. I’m sorry if you got cheated on by someone who happened to be bi or pan, but their sexuality isn’t the reason they cheated, they’re just a horrible person. There are GOOD people out there who are bi, pan or fluid and they will love you endlessly and can commit. If you meet someone who is uncertain of who they want to be with, they aren’t sure if they can commit...then don’t date them. But don’t ignore it, date them, and then blame them and their sexuality when they choose not to be with you anymore.

[@abitegiacchi9775]

One amazing example of this done well, is Magnus Bane in Shadowhunters, where he is in a relationship with a man, and a long life friend has a moment with him and is about to kiss him, he tells her that he did loved in the past, but he is a one-soul at a time kind of person. A lot of bisexual people is represented in that way, and is beautiful, how thir sexuality is only a part of who they are, and not the reason they are good or bad in particular

[@wolf1066]

Season two of _The Boys_ has a bisexual character having to deal with bisexual erasure in the in-story media. I thought that was a nice touch - not only a bisexual character but one actively getting pissed off that the media insists on portraying her as gay rather than bi and claiming the public prefers things to be binary.

[@happychaosofthenorth]

Speaking of ignored and misrepresented sexualities, please do a video on asexuality and asexual representation. I would love to see you "Take" on that.

[@RachelAnnTaylor]

Loving these bi-happy comments. As a bi lady myself, I definitely wish that we had at least one movie in mainstream media with a lead bi character. It hurt my feelings growing up loving SATC hearing my idol, charlotte, say bi folk do not exist and to......pick a side. Thank you, ladies of The Take, for giving us the spotlight for a minute

[@princessangel821]

Thanks so much for making this video. We’re not disloyal, confused or hyper sexual. We’re people just like everyone else

[@shabeehasim3748]

ill never forget how someone at my chemistry class just said “why can’t you just chose, stop being greedy”when he found out i was bi, dude was acting as if he had a chance with any girl with that attitude....

[@elsiemae5182]

Y’all keep putting tiny clips of grey’s anatomy and I’m gonna NEED a full analysis for a few characters.

[@Queen-on1wg]

IDK if you have watched the show, but if you haven't or just don't remember details I can tell you about them; there were a few clips from Grey's the first one at the start of the video 0:01 where there is a woman with Black hair named Callie who is (as she said) Bisexual. The next Grey's clip(at 1:14 ) has Callie talking to her friend who is straight. After that (at 9:24 ) there is a clip of Callie(bi) with her daughter, her wife Arizona who is a lesbian, and her best friend Mark(holding the camera) who is straight. Mark is the father of Callie and Arizona's daughter. While Callie(bi) and Arizona(lesbian) were broken up, Callie and Mark slept together and she got pregnant. I hope this helped in some way😊. And if I missed a clip, said something incorrect, or if you have questions feel free to ask.

[@sydneeblueford3754]

You should do asexuals, aromantic asexuals, aromantics next!!!! ( Todd Chavez is a good example and the convo he has with Wanda is great!!!!!)

[@p0lyxena]

Have you seen the asexual scene in Sex Education?

[@sydneeblueford3754]

@@p0lyxena No I havent! I anticipate on watching the show 😜

[@Al3saMarie]

There's an ace character in Sirens. It was the first positive portrayal I ever saw on TV and I almost cried.

[@angeliquexo]

Bless. Most of my relationships have been hetronormative-presenting so everyone assumes that I'm straight. But I've dated women, just for shorter periods of time because they happened to fall through for one reason or another. I tumbled out of the closet when I was 12 & Ive been upfront about it all my life & people still think I'm just saying it for attention cause of my relationship history has been mostly men. But quite literally I just haven't had much luck with women (I have unfortunately been the subject of exploring for other women & then get abandoned or the classic falling for a straight girl or they are disappointed I've been with men too etc) & so people use it to invalidate me & it's infuriating. But I will admit the difference between bisexuals & pansexuals confuse me a lot. I don't know which label is truly mine cause there doesn't seem to be a fully fleshed out distinction.

[@teenkitsune]

Bisexual means sexual attraction to both males and females, pansexual means sexual attraction not based on body types but emotional attraction so everyone is fair game so long as you firm an emotional bond with someone. At least that's my understanding of it.

[@angeliquexo]

@@teenkitsune that's what I've been told but others disagree with that so I don't know for sure what the more widely accepted meaning is

[@alaia-awakened]

I feel you! I’ve had my heart broken by both women I’ve been in love with, and because I’ve only been with men in longer relationships, I appear straight. But I’m as bi as they come! Bless ❤️

[@neongirl90]

Bisexual is an umbrella term, that means sexual and/or romantic attraction to two or more genders. Pansexual means attraction to all genders, or, alternatively, people regardless of their gender identity. I struggled with finding a fitting label too and found it helpful to also look into labels like polysexual and omnisexual. Hope that helps :)

[@paolaelizabethmorales8741]

Pansexuals sleep/love non-binary. Bisexuals dont (as far as my understanding goes)

[@oc3607]

This is why most bi (including myself) ppl don't even feel like they are part of the lgbtq+. We constantly hear the same bs from homosexuals and heterosexuals alike, it's pretty tiring

[@Advent3546]

I'm a proud bisexual dude and I needed this video

[@gaesimp__]

I'm a proud bisexual, and we both needed this :D

[@taokenhanma2083]

I'm bi, and all THREE of us needed this 👑🔥

[@PeanutStrawberry]

Not to sound like a broken record... I am a proud bi man and am happy this video exist

[@Bubbles603]

Yay!!!! All the bis are here!!!

[@dvdv8197]

Any bi's here who are in successful relationships with men / women who understand them? 🤔 Just wondering whether relationship happiness IS a possibility in the future. 🙈

[@EmaPoppy]

As a bisexual I thank you! I just realized I've never seen a youtube analysis like this, focused on bisexuality...

[@courtneyjones9621]

Listen, the take... you can have my money. And my time. Good lord. You are doing the work, and I am HERE FOR IT. This video made me a Patron.

[@si-ur1xl]

i think a lot of characters in "gay" stories Are actually bi, but we should also note gay men can be interested in women (and vice versa) before coming out/realizing they're gay due to comphet. both gay and bi stories are valid and i think it depends on the character so we shouldn't say just because a man married a woman he's bi.

[@annikakandoll7890]

Rosa's coming out storyline, with Charles and Jake and her parents, had me crying happy/sad tears the whole way through

[@francescakyanda9182]

I watched this immediately; y'all's videos make me think. Also, Kirsten Bell confirmed that Eleanor is a little bit bi, which means she's bi, and I see it very clearly in the show that she's attracted to both

[@jessmith7324]

I find that the main obstacle to representation is that often times there's an assumption that if you're represented on screen, then you've made it: problem solved. Yet often times what plays out is that many people in many communities simply ignore the fact that their message can simply be ignored or turned off. Then people who are progressive about that representation wonder where these obstacles and enemies are coming from as if they just popped out of the ground

[@manthony225]

This is a great video! That B99 quote at the end made me tear up. I see Heath Ledger's Ennis in Brokeback Mountain as gay not bi. He's clearly not physically attracted to his wife.He can't have sex with her unless it's a very "specific" position and he can't see her face or the front of her body. I do see Jack as bi tho.

[@mikelegend2729]

Magnus Bane and Callie Torres were definitely my ultimate bicons. Not to be dramatic but I'd die for both of them 😩

[@Queen-on1wg]

OMG same both of them are everything to me.

[@missfanie2012]

I loved that Callie defended her sexuality. Tell them girl!

[@neigeepierrot4694]

Same callie is everything

[@MsDaydream3r]

Can you do a video for the Latin Lover trope?

[@wormbag80]

What's a latin lover?

[@MsDaydream3r]

@@wormbag80 Think Don Juan, Zorro, the title character from the opera "Carmen".

[@mairaiskoisko2779]

Esoo

[@Nick_B_Cool]

I do appreciate the increasing representation of bi/pan characters, especially considering bisexuals make up the largest percentage of the lgbt+ community. Like I've literal came out as bi in 2008 and I legitimately was brought to tears seeing the crazy ex-girlfriend episode when Darryl comes out and sings Getting Bi.

[@marlyroberts]

Regarding Pose, Evan Peters character is not automatically bi/pan because he dated a trans woman, and insinuating that bisexuality doesn’t include trans people is transphobic, biphobic, and misinformed. Trans women are women, trans men are men, you don’t need to identify as pan to date them.

[@gaesimp__]

Thank you!

[@trinaq]

Precisely, preach that message! Love is love, no matter the form it may take! 💘

[@yung1717]

Thank you because I was confused like why couldn’t he be straight still? Angel is a woman

[@madokaminagawa4811]

THIS

[@veronicalopez-mn8un]

trans women are TRANS women. Being women and trans women are two different things. the same with trans men. Not acknowledging that they are TRANS IS TRANSPHOBIC, not the other way around.

[@oOlaLeydelDeseoOo]

i think that in brokeback mountain jack is semi-overtly depicted as a closeted gay: he doesn't want the heteronormative life, he tells ennis he wants them to live together, he seeks male prostitutes and before he hooks up with his future wife he openly tries to seduce a man. I think he would be totally fine without women, but as a tool to survival in a hostile time frame he chooses to marry one. Ennis however is portrayed as bi and able of loving both the sexes: after he divorces his wife he finds another girlfriend and he doesn't hate the perspective of a straight marriage with children.

[@Thepopcornator]

As a straight White dude who knows the value of strong media representation, I really appreciate all the videos on this channel that give great insights into characters I don't identify with. It's really educational, and I think it can challenge preconceptions about what being inclusive really means.

[@dwc1964]

The thing about _Bound_ is, she's the *heroine.* Her "betrayal" is her *hero* moment, because her boyfriend/boss is the *villain.* There is nothing good about him or any of his associates, and the way she plays them against each other and themselves is bloody brilliant. And yes I have a "male gaze" and there's nothing I can do about that - but story-wise, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Joey Pants and all his associates get their comeuppance, and our two badass heroines ride off into the sunset together. (And then the Wachowskis came out and added a whole 'nother layer to it.)

[@fernandoyanez-martinez8870]

This is a good analysis of Bisexual on Screen. You guys should do Transexual on screen at some point. Keep the quality content up!

[@franieLikesKdrama]

how are we not talking about the 100? Clarke is the maincharacter and she is also bi, I´m bi too, bi the way

[@tessandjonkou167]

Omg true !

[@Tudomummeum]

Thanks for addressing the misbalanced skew towards female bisexuality- especially as a weird remnant of Male-gaze dominating cinema. I say that as a male.

[@Ozz04]

I really am not fond of labels. Yet I see fluidity everywhere and now people can be more open about it. To me that's a positive.

[@spaceylacey83]

It's awesome and people like you deserve representation but Hollywood feels as afraid of the word, "bisexual," as I used to be when I was a panicky young bi listening to people say my sexuality didn't exist. Claiming my label unapologetically was a big moment for me and I did it at a time when sexuality was strongly considered a binary with straight people vs. gay and lesbian people. There was no good reason for me to have to feel scared of using that word and there's no good reason my demographic should be taboo in Hollywood, either. 🤷‍♀️

[@jess5839]

That's valid honestly

[@raggedyanimator754]

Yet, "I don't believe in labels" is conveniently only ever applied to bi/pan people.

[@jimmy2k4o]

Living Lines what do you mean. We’re not saying you can’t have labels, just that personally we don’t like being sumed up in a word.

[@Ozz04]

​@@raggedyanimator754 I do believe in labels, I just don't particularly like them. This is partly because I got tiring of explain it. So I don't care what people call me, she, he, they, it, whatever and I find people attractive more because they're kind or charming. I don't really care about sex or gender identity in a partner. In short characters not applying labels to themselves in media feels, to me, like representation. That's is me though, if you do have labels you prefer and would like me to use them, great, I will. But in lue of that I do tend to see people and life as pretty fluid.

[@zelamorre1126]

As a bisexual woman, the only group of people who haven't tried to shove me into a bi-stereotype were those who identified as on the ACE spectrum. So I'd just like to say, "Yay ACE! Y'all are great!"

[@lizbizwiz1238]

Could you do a video on Asexuality? I feel like that is not talked about a lot in media.

[@VioletEmerald]

You could watch my first video essay on Asexuality in television if you want, it's not nearly as high quality as a vid like this but i tried my best. And i don't really trust The Take to do a good job with asexuality when they handled defining pan so poorly as well as where trans women fit into the orientations, and even the definition of omnisexual. They were very quick small parts of this video but still. I think they need more education before they'd be ready to do an analysis of asexuality. I might be ready to do a second, much better video essay on the topic though sometime soon... Now that i know there's such an audience and my first one kinda went viral.

[@carbootstudios2459]

@@VioletEmerald Bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual. What's the difference?

[@lavenderbambi3501]

@@carbootstudios2459 bi- man and woman Pan- they don't rly SEE gender Poly- being attracted to more than 1 gender Idk what's the other one

[@carbootstudios2459]

@@lavenderbambi3501 And what's the "everything between"?

[@VioletEmerald]

Third comment and then I'll stop... Polysexual is very different from polyamorous (original definition given for poly was basically for polyamorous)

[@fernandao.5001]

When it comes to war, I fight for Dorne, when it comes to love I don't choose sides- Oberyn Martell

[@RumpledRegina]

Thank you for pointing out the bi-erasure in "gay" romances. It happens so much, especially whenever two men get together and it's baffling to me. Bisexuality exists, label your characters correctly and move on.

[@LauM]

Every time I listen to Gettin' Bi I tear up even though it's such a funny song because to be seen and to be represented in such an honest, real manner is amazing! I came out as bi back in 2013 when I was 16, and ever since I've heard family and friends spit out those same stereotypes about me being just confused, or using coded words for actually being lesbian, or that eventually, I would have to pick sides. It was so refreshing to see all those myths busted on that song and for that and the wonderful bi representation, I will always be grateful to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna, Pete Gardner and Adam Schlesinger (may he rest in peace). For that and for its accurate mental health representation, as well as some other topics that were really well fleshed out, It really is one of my favorite shows. Thank you for doing this video! It's great to get some ole' history about how far we've come and to see how much is still left for us to go.

[@fad23]

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I felt it was weird that it seemed like Willow's first relationship seemed more or less erased with her coming out. I know her second relationship was vital for so many fans, and that at that point we hadn't seen a lesbian relationship at that point, but it also seemed to ignore a big part of her history.

[@bilong92]

a lot of lesbians, especially in the 90s, had high school boyfriends.

[@noonewashere6458]

I mean, yes and no. I've known women who were happy with a heterosexual partner before they eventually realized they were gay, not straight or bi. As they grew and changed, that became who they identified as and it doesn't mean relationships prior to that are diminished. Sexuality isn't black and white, but the grey area of growth isn't bi/pan by default either. I also read somewhere that was supposed to be a love triangle storyline in season 4 before Seth Green asked to be let out of his contract; I imagine that may have been examined more if he had stayed.

[@raggedyanimator754]

Willow meant a lot to me in my late teens because that was the first time I ever saw love depicted on-screen how I saw it: She fell for person regardless of gender. (Xander, then Oz, then Tara, then... I stopped watching.) BUT I was furious that they kept using "slightly gay" to describe her sexuality even though she was clearly bi. After she got together with Tara she was treated as "lesbian now," even though she still showed some attraction to men (Dracula episode, anyone?) After a while, it's like, "It's okay to say bi!"

[@cherusiderea1330]

@@raggedyanimator754 In one episode even, one guy had a magical jacket that made every woman fall in love with him on the spot, so Willow, too, obviously, and her plan was to make him a woman so she could be with him. As if all her prior attraction to men had never existed.

[@fad23]

@@bilong92 you're not wrong about that, and I can't speak for their experiences. It just seemed that Willow loved Oz. As other commenters indicate, it seemed like she went straight to Kinsey 6 when she could have been a Kinsey 5.

[@emilykate0835]

I would be fascinated to here your analysis on asexuality in media next considering how it’s also often misrepresented or straight up ignored !!

[@ashleyburns95]

I very much appreciate this video as a bisexual woman. I’ve grown so tired of people trying to minimize my sexuality and men in particular sexualizing/only into me because of my attraction to women

[@TheNitpickChick]

For me, the first time I ever remember learning about bisexuality was when I was watching House and Thirteen was introduced on the show. I haven’t watched the show in a while, but from what I remember, she was blunt and open about it, and while her co-workers teased her good-naturedly, they still accepted it without question or fuss. She was shown having relationships with both men and women without being labelled as promiscuous or untrustworthy or anything like that. And her storyline didn’t revolve around her sexuality. It was just an aspect of her character. Her character stuck with me ever since. Whenever I’d think of House, I always considered her to be my favorite character. I didn’t realize until many years later why she resonated with me to such a degree. ☺️ 💖💜💙

[@p0lyxena]

yes!!!! i was too young when house was airing to have watched all of it, but i remember being *obsessed* with thirteen and specifically watching episodes that she appeared in even though i barely watched the show lmao. she was one of my earliest female crushes AND my gateway to learning about bisexuality

[@diahannmc6948]

As a writer I have to say the more Bi-sexual characters you have the more options you have for "will they/ won't they" it's literally coloring with all the crayons in the box. I just co-wrote a romantic comedy and I can attest to this! I am proud to write these stories of myself and my friends.

[@Hallows4]

Honestly, that first clip from Jane the Virgin really summed things up; from a societal perspective, there is a definite double standard when women hook up with each other versus when men hook up. Wherever they fall on the sexuality spectrum, that prevalent “male gaze” is still a big part of the negativity.

[@AhavaMath]

Just sending my love to all the people with various sexual and gender identities. Don't let anyone ever put you down or try to convince you you are something else. You are beautiful!

[@mclaudiagarcia2007]

it’s really sad that i saw this and was surprised cause it’s like one of the first vids i’ve ever seen on the subject lol but as someone who’s bi, i’m so happy to see this

[@TYFTM718]

The most upsetting instance of bi erasure for me was willow on Buffy. She was clearly in love with and sexually attracted to 2 men before Terra. That representation would have helped me understand who I was a lot sooner 💗💜💙

[@Sunnystars111]

Yessss I’m so tired of people telling me I’m confused or to pick a side 😑

[@paesitopaez4302]

Love this video, thank you so much! I do have a question though, why is it seen as such a big deal that some media does not go out of their way to put a label on the sexuality of every not-strictly-heterosexual character? I mean, I get that erasure and biphobia are a thing (I've lived it a shit ton of times) but it just feels forced to say someone is bi or pan if the story is not about that. The Good Place is not about Eleanor's bisexuality, it is referenced and normalized, and Kristen Bell explictly said in interviews that her character is bi, and honestly, seeing it portrayed in that way is much more relatable imo. I mean, Frida, Y tu mama tambien, Call me by your name, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Rocky Horror, Atomic Blonde, Lovesong, the best movies about bisexuality do not use the term, yet they portray it in a pretty respectful, nuanced and entertaining way.

[@paesitopaez4302]

"The Getting Bi" bit though.. yeah, that was pretty amazing

[@tobiasbenedictdrager965]

Rosa's coming out was my first actual awareness of bisexual characters in media. Now that I rewatch black-ish and grown-ish, I really appreciate how especially grown-ish spends time on exploring relationships for many of their characters. Having episodes that focus on "types" or several episodes that taggle Naomi's bisexuality.

[@rheapramith]

I remember my heart breaking as a kid when i saw Phoebe from Friends sing that song Also, Phoebe and Chandler are *defenitely bi*

[@buzzbam]

Thank you people so much for making a high quality video essay about this on the internet! And one that night actually show up in people's feeds too.

[@DCMarvelMultiverse]

The love of my life was bi. She was ostracized by our university's ALSO club while Republicans were allowed to join. Closeted gays would call her "too afraid to take the leap." She's been gone 20 years now. She was a beautiful mind and soul who deserved better in this world for sure. Still miss ya, love.

[@NoirCaesarEntertainment]

I just want to say, speaking individually of the company I work for, that as someone who does videos similar to these for anime, video games, and nerd culture, and especially speaking as someone who is Black, nonbinary, and pansexual, this breakdown was so spot on, it left me crying. Sitting through the explanations of how we are erased, and viewed/portrayed through the lens of cis heteronormative was honestly rough and so spot on, and I cried watching this video. Thank you so very much for letting us be seen. I love your videos so much. ~Jax

[@kap1618]

Glee is the biggest proponent of modern day biphobia despite claiming to progressive.

[@falcont2tjockey]

Thanks for making this. Its been an eternity dealing withmisrepresentation in cultural and media spaces, as a bi guy, when you grow up you try to fit the boxes you are given, even when being gay is a harder pill to swallow, at least it seems like an established path of sexuality. All people doubt when you are something more mixed or fluid about it, and it has caused me lots of self doubt about it all, deepest insecurity being that im just pushing a gay persona down to jsut be "normal" when i have been inlove, with girls i deeply felt for. Thats how damaging cultural innaceptance and media misrepresentation is as jsut now i feel that im more calmed about it just being something more complex than most people will have. I still fear when i tell my gfs about it that they may feel disgust or just dismiss it as me being insecure, when its more like being inseure because people wont believe your sexual duality, not the other way around