The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality

[@idemurphy4325]

I am a lesbian and I have to say this conversation has made me realise that we have a lot to learn from bi-sexuals; there is a light-heartedness and humanity that isn't always there in the "pick a side" gay world. I think one of the bi-contributions to society at large could be to just release the pressure guage and just enjoy your sexuality, whatever that happens to be. Thank you both.

[@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377]

Is probably instict animal luxury disguised as another sexual orientation.

[@edcatt9196]

Years ago, I knew a woman who identified as bisexual. She didn't flaunt it, nor try and hide it. She had a broach she sometimes wore that had the phrase "I am bisexual, but I am not attracted to you" as the design. That was an interesting way of being Out, but also nullifying the potential paranoia that someone else might feel.

[@BLKDOLPHNDK]

I am a 60ish black autistic gender fluid male from a small mid western town. I am amazed how far society has come.

[@KristyRadio]

The reason for the switch with less men coming out as bi compared to women is because of the Aids crisis. Bi men were blamed for bringing Aids to the straight community. So bi men were villified and even killed. That caused a huge cultural shift.

[@TigerPrawn_]

I also clocked that. She’s like - what happened between the 70s and the 90s that had a big effect on queer people? 🤔

[@160MXS]

I’ve had only two significant relationships in my life. It just so happens one was with a man and one with a woman. The judgement by the straight and gay communities is hard and often one gets pigeon holed as gay or straight . Or just a sexual deviant . It’s a very lonely place . This was a refreshing video. Thankyou

[@TigerPrawn_]

33:10 That “having my bi card snatched away from me” story almost had me in tears. It sounded like he had resigned himself to being gay because he never got the space to test calling himself bi. I think his experience is probably very indicative of a lot of bi (maybe now gay) identified men. I mean, you go, if you want to call yourself gay, but it seems kind of sad that that was his experience with the bi label ☹️

[@easymac24]

On the topic of coming out at work. One of my coworkers is slowly coming out as bisexual and this past week I sat in room while three straight younger coworkers laughed behind his back and a girl who tokenize's our gay coworker and our trans coworker expressed utter disgust and laughed her ass off because he is an overweight Mexican conservative Catholic who doesn't fit her idea of what a bi guy looks like. They all laughed and said I think he's just gay. I defended him and said I'm pretty sure he's bi. It was incredibly awkward because I'm also bi. It felt like a microcosm how society treats bi men and why many men never come out as bi. It felt like I'm ok with gay men as long as I don't have to actually be faced with the reality of their sexuality and they stay in their corner. Something about men being bi really seems to hit people in a weird way that I can't understand.

[@kmarie7051]

When I was younger I was ignorant about bisexuality and didn't think it existed and it was just gay men or lesbian women too afraid to say they were fully homosexual. I've educated myself a bit since then. Sometimes when we have a certain orientation to the world it can be hard to relate or understand a different way to be. Another example is when I first found out about pathological narcissism(people who have no empathy) it was super hard for me to understand their world view and how other people are viewed as objects to them. They have no more feelings, connection, kinship or understanding to another human being than you would have to a chair or table. They could kill a person as easy as you could step on a bug. Having empathy is not in their orientation to the world at all. Even though I can understand it intellectually, emotionally it's still a mistery how they can just not care or feel for other people at all. Empathy is something I've always had without even thinking about it and it's hard for me to imagine not having it. I think it's kind of similar for people who are monosexual because they just dont have that experience. For them being sexually attracted to one sex cancels out the other, so it's hard for them to understand being sexually attracted to both sexes.

[@AmyC531]

As a bisexual I felt really empowered hearing some of what she had to say. I just wish the response to 'the label 'bisexual' is transphobic' had included a very decisive, "No, it is not."

[@wareforcoin5780]

It's only transphobic even using the definition of "men and women" if you don't count trans men and women as "real" men and women.... Everyone saying that is telling on themselves

[@joe7387]

This is amazing, thank you for uploading this event, I admit that as a gay man, I need to read and learn more about other sexualities; so I am thanking you for the knowledge.

[@flightofthebumblebee9529]

I am definitely bisexual and not just sexually but also in other intimate ways. Bisexuality is beautiful.

[@Superbatmanbro]

I'm currently Juggling between Bi and gay and I'm open to exploring that side of me

[@TigerPrawn_]

@@Superbatmanbro It’s all fluid ❤

[@JamesJamieJam]

I never knew I needed to hear this discussion. Thank you so much for educating me about me! For introducing me to who and what it means to actually be Bi

[@S.SilverStudio]

Coming into my bisexual reality in my forties and finding content like this is magnificent!

[@flightofthebumblebee9529]

Same here. I am 41 now and lived bi my entire life.

[@GerardPare]

Amazing presentation. I'm a proud bisexual male. Thank you for bringing visibility and awareness to bisexuality. I ordered your book. Cannot wait to read it.

[@097jupiter]

I've read Dr. Shaw's book "Bi" last year when it came to my local public library because I, too, was (and still am) craving for information.

[@TigerPrawn_]

I would recommend Shiri Eisner’s book “Bi: Notes for a bisexual revolution” for some really meaty deconstruction of bisexuality and its associated stereotypes. I also highly recommend the podcast Two Bi Guys ❤

[@TigerPrawn_]

I really recommend Shiri Eisner’s book Bi: Notes for a bisexual revolution and the podcast Two Bi Guys

[@Asymmetrical-Saggin]

I think i really needed to hear this. good video. Really helps me understand more of who i really am. I'm not fully out, but maybe one day ill have the courage to do so. The judgment around my area though is really bad.

[@TigerPrawn_]

Courage ❤

[@etcwhatever]

It took me more than 20yrs of deep confusion until i realized im a bi woman. Yeah. First i tought i was a lesbian and i came out. My parents know i had 2 gfs...then i became strongly attracted to men and i thought i became straight. At 35 i finally fully understand what i am.

[@robertford5614]

So well done, so beautifully given, thank you.

[@TigerPrawn_]

If I hear ONE more comment on bisexuality vs pansexuality i swear I- But honestly it’s such a reductive, redundant conversation that we’ve been having FOR YEARS now. We both like multiple genders. End of.

[@KristyRadio]

This was so good!!!

[@TigerPrawn_]

58:58 There are actually interesting studies questioning this idea of immutability as the criteria by which people should be granted asylum (looking specifically at Canada and the Netherlands iirc) Because bisexuality undermines this argument.

[@TigerPrawn_]

1:25:00 I love this Capable of Currently has Has had Bi attractions The potentiality of biness is beautiful

[@deborahclewley3332]

Excellent

[@scarletdragon1019]

I love this woman

[@TigerPrawn_]

16:00 Off-topic but I LOVE that laugh so much ❤

[@user-wi3yx3gy2o]

Ok so if bi is about heterosexual and homosexual and then it is ok and not some kind of of fortunate fudge enveloping non binary people and non-binary attraction, then that implies that heterosexual incudes attraction to non-binary people. I think we can admit it is a somewhat unfortunate term and there should be a third umbrella term. But I’m happy to keep using bisexuality to include both pansexual and other bisexual identities. Either way not everyone is pan who is bi. And I don’t know but I’ve heard it said pan is attraction irrespective of gender. And I really think some people are attracted to men and women because they are men and women, sometimes because they are very feminine and very masculine. Also so bi people can be attracted to non-binary Rilke who are bi because they either see masculine traits in those non-binary people. Non-binary is not a single strict 50-50 middle or neither ideal any more than all bi people are always indifferent to make vs female attraction). Also you can be attracted to male or masculine female or feminine and non binary or androgynous people

[@AppleStrawberryLove]

I think you missed the point of her explanation a bit. It's not that pan shouldn't be used but rather than bi has always been inherently inclusive. Many bi people have always acknowledged that gender is far less rigid than a binary. It should also be noted that part of what made pan gain popularity was bi+ people reacting to biphobia. They used new language in order to distance themselves from the assumptions monosexuals made about their attraction being along the binary ends of the gender spectrum as well as the monosexual perception of bisexuality being slutty. If you want to use it, that's fine. But that shouldn't make it so bi people stop pointing out how its popularity is in part a reaction to biphobia that is continuing to be perpetuated. One of her other points was "if you don't like the bi label and prefer pan or poly or something else, go for it. Nothing wrong with that." But the other thing to point out is that people use the pan argument you just cited to try to convince bi people that they don't know their attractions and need to be "corrected" on their label. Which is a form of biphobia. I should know. I have had people try to tell me what my sexuality is and in doing so perpetuate biphobia and transphobia in their reasoning for why I'm wrong and they're right. Which also, setting aside if the label fits or not, it's a douche move to tell someone you know their inner thoughts (which is how we experience a lot of attraction) better than them. So if someone uses a label, understand it's their choice and their life. None of your business if you think it isn't right. I have known people who experience the same attractions as me use bi and use pan. I've even met individuals who use them interchangeably

[@TigerPrawn_]

Straight people can be attracted to non-binary people. Non-binary people aren’t a distinct third gender.

[@difluzi2950]

@@AppleStrawberryLove I agree with this, thank you.

[@kimsteinke713]

😇🙏👍🏳️‍🌈🇺🇲🤔😇🙏🌈

[@stardewofpyrrhia4381]

Doesn’t pan mean that gender is not a factor of attraction?

[@MsHburnett]

Canadians Americans love to talk about their backsides

[@dutchkel]

Never heard one word about "backside" in this lecture so strangely out of context comment.

[@Michael-mr9kn]

Thanks for this.