Bitchy ASMR ~ Matchmaker Helps With Your Online Dating Profile

[@cherijuice]

tbh i don't even watch the roleplays to fall asleep any more, i just watch them for fun

[@marianrohrbach1986]

Shadzluver08 Same here

[@luminia1377]

Yus

[@amberweatherly1624]

I end up falling asleep anyways😊

[@angelawilson4868]

I know she's pretty funny!

[@ambertoslanderto8634]

I swear, I don't even watch other ASMRtists anymore. Your videos are solid gold after solid gold, amazing !

[@WhittRak]

Dang! That's Vegan?! I don't either

[@DreamWondersASMR]

i was sooo happy that she did a roleplay vid because I freaking love her roleplayssss !!!!!

[@waywrdvagabond1710]

Could you say her videos are....Sparkly~?

[@waywrdvagabond1710]

Not even joking, I LOVE that your "backgrounds" are just a sign related to the theme of the video. Not an insult to you or people who do or don't whatever, but i flippin' love it. Its so funny and it really just makes me smile and that is a hard thing to do, let me tell ya haha

[@missunderstoodmal1700]

Hahaha! My sister-in-law just made me sign up on a dating site. The outdoorsy/active man requirement is SO true!!! There's no way 100% of the single men in this area love to backpack and run marathons. This is too funny!

[@viktoriyacollinsworth6835]

Portia is the perfect name choice.

[@ames227]

After Daisy failed to find me a soulmate, I came here. (If you have no clue what I'm talking about, Gibi Asmr has a matchmaking video with her character Daisy)

[@sarahharper3783]

WHAT?!?! Daisy is one of my favorite ASMR characters

[@allyhaze1589]

Sarah Harper SAME

[@Burstify]

Sarah Harper Same

[@glouissier]

Same! ( I FOUND MY ASMR FAM )

[@reginageorge3580]

Lemon Mia SAME ❤️

[@saranohmusic57]

I have a confession.... your videos rarely give me tingles. But your comedy is so GENIUS that I keep coming back for more!! Love the "Sparkly Friend" series & the "Bitchy Librarian" series too. You're so creative!

[@juliavazquez5222]

“Your organization skills are psychotic” me too girl

[@methos101]

This was great. You are not stable. I laughed when you said Mc hammer baggy pants 😂. Great job Mary 😊.

[@reginageorge3580]

I don't wanna crush your spirit... YET 💀

[@chlo.liz09]

Regina George

[@MonotonousOwl]

I become too invested in your roleplaying that I usually can't fall asleep, this content is hilarious I love it!

[@Redmel9]

Just saw the title and thought OMG this is going to be the greatest video ever (true fact: I think this before watching all your videos!)

[@KaoticDreww]

Melissa McCormack facts

[@msalyssababy]

"What level of desperation are you?" Hahahaha Oh God, you're the best! 😃

[@FeelslikeHalloween]

Mary, you are absolutely hilarious!!! My sister and I are constantly quoting the funny things you say. Thank you for all of the laughter!

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

You are so welcome! :)

[@SaraH-ps8ob]

I guess 46 more minutes of no sleep because I wanna watch and laugh at every moment. Lol!

[@SaraH-ps8ob]

You're the best!

[@abbyliz5167]

i saw the lonely hearts sign and i immediately went "OWNER OF A LONELY HEART"

[@laurel953]

Omg... I'm so excited for this video. It's my favorite video of KAYsmr... I cannot wait to see what you did with this idea!!

[@laurel953]

Update: You literally had me laughing within the first ten seconds. "Ya LATE."

[@doglady2410]

You're hilarious! I live in Los Angeles... You'd be amazing at live improv.

[@serenesplendorasmr3635]

I just knew I was going to love this video! Each sentence you say is a goldmine

[@marissasimas9258]

I met my husband on Craigslist 14 years ago lol oops

[@kennedynobles9140]

Marissa Simas how did u not die 😂😂

[@nunyabusiness6450]

Oh that's below tinder 😬

[@kristikeller7238]

Mary! Those glasses are gorgeous on you!!

[@asmrrryeah7042]

That accent though. 🤤

[@cid5680]

When it gets closer to fall time, you should do a video where harvest decorates for fall. Almost like a DIY video but with natural products like pumpkins, leaves, acorns, stuff like that 😊

[@umbracastaway3379]

I'm laughing so hard! 🤣🤣 Historic Good Looks🔥🔥🔥

[@lunaschneider7812]

wow, when you asked about my name I thought 'Katya Zamolodchikova' and it played beautifully with your rant about my name 😂

[@r0esheen]

Owner of a lonely heart by yes is stuck in my head now because of the amazing sign in the background 😂

[@helenhraz]

I am like 30 seconds in and I can already tell I'm going to love this 😂

[@teamgard]

Your necklace was like optical illusion. Thought it was a blouse at 1st w your angle. You're like salve on a wound. Slept to your River Road last night and it was calming as Irma winds battered my house. I stayed awake for all Part 1 & tonight shall be Part 2! Thank you 😊

[@whisperincolour6575]

Honestly, I'd swipe left on this guy.

[@mr.gabriel2020]

"Historic good looks".....that part had me hollering😂😂😂😂

[@TexarkanaBraveHeart7615]

I love these Bitchy Roleplay videos ,With all the laughing im doing this video is going by fast. It's talent like yours that set you apart from the other ASMR artist's who are Good, but maybe not Great:)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

BorderCity Bandit Thank you so much!

[@lucybell1767]

That necklace is gorgeous. I may have psychotic organizational skills 😂

[@kasantar]

I can't with you.... I love you. I need to have coffee with you and just judge people as they walk by

[@rb4184]

Porsha needs to be recurring

[@Ash-verity]

Of you listen to just her voice she sounds like a country version of Pam from the office

[@reginageorge3580]

Her: Your last name is really really stupid Me: IKR!

[@emhmcconnell]

Please make this another recurring character/story! Loved it

[@amypardue4986]

I am out my mind lmao this is totally gold 😂😂😂👍👌😄😄😄😉💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖😄😄

[@goodstorylover]

"I understand that you are smart....ish" :o) :o) And may I just say that I really like your necklace.

[@foxlove1726]

"No lonely hearts" well I'm not supposed to be here

[@nunyabusiness6450]

Dw there's an asterisk

[@haleighcox5939]

This is the earliest I've ever been to a video 😊

[@sarahharper3783]

How do you do it? Your characters are amazing. Every time you post a first video with a new character they give me so many tingles.

[@sarahharper3783]

Also October 2nd is my birthday!

[@RegretfulGreedler]

I live in North Port, Florida, roughly exactly where Irma is expected to make landfall tomorrow night. Understandably, we're all especially nervous, especially with our mother off to work and only able to come home Monday night at the earliest. If the roads are bad, it'll be indefinite, and we're likely to lose power for weeks. Thank you for this; it helped to take my mind away from what's coming in the very near future.

[@teamgard]

Kay : It was such a welcome retreat from all things Irma. Signed, Another Floridian Hope y'all stay safe. It's just like a big nor'easter where i'm at. 🕊🍃

[@gumswashington5203]

what level of desperation are we talking about here? dude you are so funny and I love your approach/style of ASMR is awesome

[@ms.annthrope420]

Bitchy QVC/Home shopping network would be really funny.

[@chlo.liz09]

" I don't wanna crush your spirit yet" 😂

[@picoyap]

Im loving the new hair

[@malindalee]

I don't think I've ever laughed out loud watching an ASMR video before, but "impish" got me

[@AnonimousBlue]

39:46 You’d be surprised by what we musicians with short fingers can do.

[@nicholasschroeder628]

"so you have to settle for Michelle"

[@parrotmediaproductions]

My last name: *has five letters* “why are there so many constants you need to talk to your parents” Me: /oh/

[@Jayrocc66753]

You remind me of someone I know that is substitute at my high school they way you talk

[@Staycurious8]

You are hilarious! I am so very happy I found you :)

[@angelawilson4868]

She's the only one I watch as now as well 🥰

[@JemimaDoesASMR]

You know you're getting old when you'd 100% go for the stable, dependable man over the risk-taking one lol.

[@xxjust_anniexx]

Omg. I loved this.

[@vannarenee122]

This. is. GOLD!! 😂😂😂

[@Carolina_Cheesehead]

This poor man has zero self-esteem left! You've slayed his soul, Porsche. Lol!

[@chynaaaaaa2752]

I love it 😍💞 I'm relaxed but also entertained 😂

[@TheInfamil]

Let's see how good your matchmaking skills are.

[@JH-kw8zy]

Portia is LYING to these girls 😂

[@olelokupanahaodev1959]

Love these roleplays

[@serenesplendorasmr3635]

If only I hadn't fallen asleep before the end. THIS time...I'm gonna make it!

[@helium1828]

Please make part two!

[@Just4TheWin]

LMAO! this whole video made me go in a complete laughing fit!

[@shylockwesker5530]

Oh, this is gonna be good!

[@Br0ns0n]

This was fantastic. Was it improve or scripted. It seems/feels off the cuff organic.

[@isaiahrosales6229]

I find it very awkward when she just said "I dont look old." even though I'm 18 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ryanherron7436]

Many people have that one person in their friend group who is exactly like this, I am that person

[@destinybboswell95]

love your videos! has anyone ever told you , you look alot like Lennon Parham?

[@sarahgarifo524]

Ha! This is the exact demeanor (and some sentences almost verbatim) of someone who interviewed me for a job years ago. Suffice it to say that even though I was not late to the interview, I still did not get the job. 😆

[@bdanceboxer]

Can you do a southern belle female boxer asmr that would be awesome I could get you all the props if you want not a problem look forward to hearing from you take care!!

[@laurel953]

16:23 - 16:40 My curiosity got the better of me... I'm just curious, what popped into the right side of the screen for a few seconds? Whatever it was, I love how you didn't even skip a beat or glance towards it, haha.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

LaurelFlowers That was my microphone. I didn't realize until after the fact that it was visible in the video. Oops!

[@laurel953]

Oh okay! That makes sense. Thanks for your reply! :)

[@sopheep]

With the way you were making "my" last name sound, I thought I might be Welsh.

[@pengoschwortz4734]

I never really got the "Bitchy ASMR" videos. Can someone explain them to me? Like how do they help you relax? (Genuinely asking not hating on you you're amazing)

[@leahdavis9434]

Sometimes they're kind of disarming? I find them funny, and they tend to use a lot of clicky sounds. It's hard to explain, just like it's hard to explain ASMR to people who don't get it

[@pengoschwortz4734]

The Hierophant oh yeah it's hilarious I'm just not sure how it pertains to ASMR

[@Monsicorn]

"You're a man" Me: When did that happen???!!!!

[@luciditymarch__]

Manly dog?? Why not a Rottweiler??! Lol 😂😂 I love them! XD

[@dbelladay123]

OMG! I love you sooo much!

[@catygrey838]

I'm just an hour late... This is so funny good job XD

[@tonys7123]

Dumpster fire!!!? Hilarious.

[@pamelaclary5869]

Wow she told the address.

[@liamburnett7914]

"your late" bitch i walked through hurricane irma for this be grateful for helping me find a match.

[@robertbarlow6359]

A black lab and we'll name it 'Tank' Hahahahah!

[@kalebblack2473]

Lonely Hearts * = Tones* Hell Year

[@bibbybobby3432]

Omg make one for us females !! :D

[@John-dz6vm]

I'm not doing online dating 凸

[@babyfox3324]

As a vegetarian, bad lettuce is my biggest fear

[@kaylatowe9946]

❤❤❤been here for a while nice vids❤❤❤

[@funnyvideosRawesome5]

Hey, I met my guy on OKCupid! Lol

[@KaelaAngelae]

I'm sure you have a script for your role plays but I'm not sure if you memorize them or not. Either way you're HILARIOUS and do such an amazing job on all your vids!❤️

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Kaela Angelae Thank you! There is no script, though. Literally all I did to prepare for this video was to write five words on a piece of paper and find my tape measure.

[@tristahnbenn6930]

Oh good it's 10:24 and I need to go to sleep

[@kranky568]

people watching who live on 302 northmain street: 😳

[@traderlincolnmitchell9786]

good video

[@pamcausey9676]

So funny, awesome.

[@morganmiller7428]

This makes me want to go on a self improvement kick....Is this unhealthy? Lol

[@DwightLivesMatter]

Why is there an asterisk next to the “LONELY HEARTS*🚫” sign? Lol

[@DwightLivesMatter]

Nvm lol

[@LoveTodayASMR]

😂 don't take it personally 😂😴

[@le_Gay]

I kind of want to know what his super weird last name!

[@TruthTroubadour-xi9cc]

Person- it's Butts

[@dollydevilish22]

My last name is three letters......lol

[@doitlikethebereans1690]

A safe risk taker 😂